#well she didnt say that last part but there needs to be some order in here

[autisticlee]

"just be yourself" has always been one of my most hated things to hear from someone. it may sound simple and easy to you, but when you grew up never able formed a single solid personality (because you grew up autistic or for some other reason) and/or have always felt more like 20 different personalities in a trench coat who fight over who is supposed to be in charge, that "simple" advice is so much less simple.....it can even seem impossible.

[artsninspo]

008 | Richmond Inc.

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「 ✦ aaron pierre & characters library ✦ 」

⇚ 007

♠ summary: Monte Carlo continues to be memorable as our cast of characters enjoy a series of firsts. This one's a whirlwind 🌪️.

♠ pairing: Terry Richmond (Aaron Pierre - Rebel Ridge) X Lorence Cole (Black Fem OC)

♠ word-count: ~3.8K

⌖ - Monte Carlo, Monaco

We’re paid to perpetuate the illusion of safety, maintain the natural order of things and quell any trouble before it starts. We’re paid to make people feel at ease and not to disturb the flow of drinks, food and conversation. It’s why I’m sitting on the balcony enjoying a smoothie with a face full of makeup and curls setting in my hair. It’s why my nails are perfectly manicured in something boring and ‘classy’ and why my dress hangs in my room behind me. We’re supposed to blend in. I scroll through communications with my team and see everything is on track to go smoothe. Just as I feel at ease there’s a knock at my door. I head inside and unlock the deadbolt to find Cassandra already fully dressed and looking like she belongs on somebody’s red carpet.

“You look gorgeous” she beams stepping in.

“Thanks, so do you”

“I was just stopping by to help you into your suit.” she says.

“I got it on already, thanks” I respond.

“Let me check” Cassandra insists and I take off my robe. She does and finds I’ve put it on perfectly.

“I’ll take help getting in the dress though” I tell her, taking it down from its garment bag. 

“I got you” she smiles, finding the zipper and helping me get it over my head without any makeup smudges or ruining my pin curls. I’m still not sure whether to be mortified or impressed by how realistic the suit looks. “Need help taking down your hair?” she asks.

“Yes please” I tell her, sitting down in the room's vanity and plucking out the pins.

“Are you excited?”

“Kind’ve and then I kind of just want it to be over” I laugh making her do the same.

“I came by last night - guess you were out cold and early” she says once all the curls are out. “Flip your hair. Do you have combs and a brush?” she asks before I can tell her about last night.

“Yeah, on the ottoman over there” I point, flipping my curls so they fall. I hear a gasp and when I look over I find Cassandra holding the caricature art. Her expression is priceless mirroring mine from last night when the artist handed me the shady masterpiece.

“Did you draw this?” she asks.

“No” I scoff. “After dinner Richmond came to check on me, I guess … I was wound up and he offered to help. We ended up walking my route, then spent some time on the beach. I wanted to get drawn and he didn't play nice, so the artist got her pound of flesh” I smile.

“You and Terry walked a nearly two hour route together and you’re both still breathing.” She looks shocked.

“Honestly, that’s the least shocking part of the night” I tell her.

“I've got to hear this” she sits down beside me with wide eyes and I smile.

“He was actually kind of … nice. Well … nice for Terrance Richmond’s standard. I know you're step siblings” I disclose and her eyes widen even more.

“He told you?!” she gasps.

“Yeah, he said he thought you told me already” I confess.

“He made me swear not to tell anyone unless I bring it to him first” she snaps and I shrug.

“What else did he tell you?” she probes.

“His mom passed, I didn't push for details though. I also learned we have a lot of travel experiences that I can redeem. And that you’re partly to blame for our first meeting going to shit” i add.

“Me?” she gasps, still not recovered from the initial shock of the information she is trying to process.

“Yes, he thought Lorence Cole was a man. In walked me - allegedly his ‘type’ whatever that means” I finish and now her jaw is on the floor.

“He told you that?” she squeaks, utterly shocked.

“Did you drug him or something - what the hell was in dinner?!” she exclaims standing and pacing. “And he told you about his mother?!” she asks, looking back at me.

“I didn’t drug him, I didnt even seek him out. I tried leaving, you know our history. Typically we’re fireworks and not the good kind” I remind Cassandra.

“You don't get it Lorence, we lived together for years after our parents married and we never had more than a two minute conversation. You guys are a natural disaster and then you spend a few hours together and he tells you his most personal details?” she exclaims. I swallow, allowing her words to digest.

“Years?” I ask and she nods. “And cliffnotes are his most personal details?” I continue.

“Lorence, he’s a military man through and through. Anything that can be exploited is dangerous and personal” Cassandra says noting the different set of rules Richmond has been playing by.

“That’s the cliffnotes, he knows EVERYTHING personal about everyone” I correct.

“Yes but it's because he’s OCD and not normal.” she says standing behind me. I sit in silence soaking it all in as she arranges my hair nicely. 

“So did all his girlfriends look like me?” I ask and she smiles.

“No, Terry doesn't have time for girlfriends. Our parents have a social calendar and Terry’s had a few women over the years not at the same time but a few total. He brings them around until they figure out his work is his wife.” Cassandra says candidly. I can picture it. It aligns perfectly with everything I know about the man. It’s practical and utilitarian.

“So how’d you know I was his type and why’d you want to rattle him?’ I ask, recalling Richmonds words.

“It’s kind of personal to him and a long story he’d probably have an aneurysm if I told you. So I won’t but - with how much he’s opened up … I’m sure you won't have to wait long at all” she says.

“Last call!” I hear from outside and grab my purse and my tablet ready to go. I slip on my loafers at the door and head out with Cassandra. I multitask during the ride to our VIP box. All has gone well thus far and our client is en route with an ETA that aligns with ours.

“Cole, you look incredible” Emerson says likely with the purpose of getting a rise out of Cassandra.

“Thank you Emerson” I say, sparing him a smile.

“I didn't see you around last night. The client is having a boat party tonight. Will you be in attendance?” he asks.

“Let’s see how the day goes” I respond, turning my attention back to my work.

“Well, I’m here if you need anything,” he smiles.

“Thank you” I respond and he sits forward. I look to Cassandra who rolls her eyes acutely aware of what her scorned former lover is trying to do. I don’t have time to dwell as the client makes it out of the car and to the security team. Finally able to breathe I mark voyage one as complete and close the tablet putting it into my purse.

“Broke men with good dick always think they’re special when there’s a million more where they come from” Cassandra says just loud enough for Emerson to hear. He tenses and the reaction makes me feel bad for the fool. The point on that backhanded compliment is sharp enough to cut diamond. I’m not sure when’s the last time the men here have been deemed broke or run of the mill. The very nature of them is exceptional. But I guess when you’ve been around exceptional for most of your life like Cassandra the bar is different. Our arrival is smooth as we find our VIP box. I fasten my earpiece in case anyone needs me from my team and I’m greeted by a few familiar faces among the many unfamiliar. Cassandra takes my hand leading me onto a balcony with seating that’s practically empty. It overlooks the races route which no one in box seems interested in.

“So is Terry your type?” she asks.

“You know he’s handsome and impressive but I’m not really into the whole asshole persona. I don't like when men are short with me or temperamental” I confess.

“Well he’s not used to that.” she smirks. By the look of amusement in her eyes they’re light years away from the silent distance they once shared.

“Honestly my biggest fear is what's going on between you and Emerson” I whisper and she fans me off.

“Don’t worry about me and Emerson. This is just foreplay, he’ll perform better if I ever give him another chance.” she whispers, making me laugh.

“Cassandra, nice to see you.” The Boss’ deep voice says, cutting through the noise.

“Nice to see you too Terry, we have so much to catch up on” she says standing with a smile. He gives her a glare as they embrace.

“Terry Richmond” he says introducing himself to me with an outreached hand. For a second it’s like we’re the only two here living in a world with our agreement coming to pass. Clean slate. I smile to myself taking his hand.

“Lorence Cole” I introduce.

“Pleasure,” he says, shocking me.

“Terry, I’d like to introduce you to my daughter Ana” a mother calls from inside the box.

“Ugh” Cassandra remarks.

“I’ll see you later,” he says, letting my hand go. “You ladies look stunning by the way” he says before turning away.

“Oh this is going to be good!” Cassandra comments reveling in the possibilities

The race's opening ceremonies kick off and it really is an experience. I find myself invested in the outcome. The food and drinks keep flowing and the client stays put in our box ensuring I don't need to be at attention every minute. Jameson enters and I see his cover really is deep when people greet him with respect. Having an established public relationship with both Cassandra and I he joins us with a smile injecting some fun into the atmosphere. When Joel’s around the male attention declines which is something I appreciate. I notice that Richmond never gets a moment to himself. He goes from person to person, his serious stare etched permanently into his serious expression as he listens to their questions or concerns. With the exception of the women trying to pawn her daughter off on him everyone shows him the utmost respect. It only solidifies that’s the treatment he’s used to. By the time the race is over Cassandra and I have been invited to more afterparties then there are hours left in the day. The client is past tipsy and I feel for the security team as we file out of the suite and to the transportation port. The client has commandeered a gaggle of women requiring two sprinters instead of one. It’s something we planned for and I watch as the security team pats them down before they can head in the car. I get traffic reports in my earpiece and see we’re all clear. I miss being able to have eyes on everything.

“Where are you two headed?” Richmond asks, emerging beside Cassandra.

“Back to our rental, then who knows where” Cassandra shrugs and Richmond looks at me. 

“Text me where you’re gonna be” he says looking back at Cassandra who grins.

“Terry RIchmond are you…”

“Don't start” he says, being short with her and she smiles.

“Whatever, only cause we’re in public.” Cassandra conceded

“Text me Cassandra, the moneys arrived and so has the riff raff” He tells her.

“Okay I’ll text you, where are you going?” she asks, taking out her phone.

“I have an intelligence meeting,” he says.

She raises a brow. “Off the record?”

“Yeah” he nods. When our car comes Richmond sends it away calling in a driver he knows and trusts before letting us get in. Control freaks is an understatement for what he is. Still I find myself a little unnerved by the lack of attention. Today’s been a far departure from last night. Especially from a man that has made a declaration like the one he has. I shake the thoughts from my head.

“He’s all wound up, somethings wrong,” Cassandra says, interrupting my thoughts. Carefree Cassandra is gone and she starts on her tablet swiping through a variety of screens trying to find what's out of place. She hasn't found whatever it is she’s looking for when we make it back.

“With the clients?” I ask.

“No, he’d have sent the client back home if they were in danger. I’d be aware of that briefing” she says heading into her room. “Need anything?” I ask.

“I know what party we’re going to change into something a little sultry” she smiles. “I need about an hour and a half,” she says.

“Ok” I agree, heading to my own room. When I try to call Joel there’s no answer but thankfully the client has reached their destination safely. I make the necessary transitions to go from a daytime to nighttime look. After the experience I had in VIP I don't know if I have the patience to stomach the male attention purposely dressing ‘sultry’ will stir up; so I go for simple. I keep my suit on and find a dress I hope Cassandra likes. As long as it conceals the zipper for my suit and I can move comfortably in it it passes the check for me. Once I’m ready I meet Cassandra who’s all done up in a dress that definitely screams sexy.

“You look great!” I tell her.

“Adam only lets peacocks in his section - we’ll have to split up unless you show some more skin” she says. “You look like someone’s trophy wife, you need to look like you're auditioning to be someone's trophy wife” she explains.

“I can stay back” I offer.

“No, I’ll see my contact, get some info and then we can go have some fun. We look too good to stay in” Cassandra says, taking my hand.

“Alright” I agree.

The streets are painted with people making the car ride longer than it needs to be. The celebrations have spilled out into the streets when all the viewing venues have cleared out. It’s the gridlock I planned for and the client avoided. I make a note to celebrate the team's win when I get back. Cassandra continues her search on the phone and I return a few texts from friends and family in response to my Grand Prix social media stories. Sin asks for an update on the Boss and I have none to give her. He was warmer than he’s ever been but distant and all business. I guess interest for him is a little different than it is for most men. It’s not what I’m used to. Is RIchmond my type? No. I’ve always run from men with energy as dominant as his. I’ve always been more drawn to the free spirits that are more focused on the present than the future. The boss's level of ‘masculinity’ is something that's always made me feel uncomfortable. My childhood is unmistakably why. Richmond’s anger, his tirades, dissatisfied expressions and marginal margin for error seems like something that would be cataclysmic and anything but fun in any kind of romantic situation.

The car stops throwing me from my doubts. I follow Cassandra out of the vehicle and into the venue. House music erupts from the speakers casting an ambiance I’m not too familiar with. The luxurious club is far from the typical city party venue. The ceilings have crown mouldings as do the sections. Intricate tiles cast a twinkling mosaic for those who look up.

“All I need is thirty minutes, keep your phone close for info and be diligent about your surroundings” Cassandra warns walking off. I nod, taking my thoughts away from Mr. RIchmond and tune them into my surroundings. Exits, Security, Major players. It takes me five minutes to perform my assessment of the place. Cassandra and I are on the highest level. 

“Would you like to join my section, beautiful?” A voice says. I dont turn until the expensive cologne gets my attention. A man dresses so casually it means he’s loaded and sits beside me wearing glasses and a four hundred thousand dollar watch.

“I’m good here thanks” I smile and he does too.

“Whatever she wants” he tells the bartender who stands ready and willing.

“I’m not thirsty, but thank you” I tell him and he smiles at me for a moment before it fades. I follow his line of sight to a man I definitely recognize. He looks at Cassandra making a hand gesture and I watch her stand with the man she came to see before heading into a room. He comes over to me, glaring at the ma at my side.

“We need to leave,” he says sternly. 

All our progress has evaporated in an instant. “Why?”

“Not now, please trust me” his tone is tense and his body language rigid.

“Just us?” I ask and his nostrils flare.

“Yes immediately” he says and I turn away looking around to see the venue full.

“Rich-”

“We have to leave now!” he snaps, taking my arm. 

“If innocent people can get hurt we have a duty to do something” I snap and he sighs pulling the fire alarm as we leave. I go to run with him when I hear rounds of gunfire go off.

“Are you wearing your suit?” he asks. 

“Yes” he nods but before we can start on an alternate route more guns go off. There’s screaming and frenzy, the pops start from every angle. I bend taking my pumps off as fast as I can. There’s no talking over the chaos so I take Richmonds hand and push through onto the frenzied crowds the balcony. My heart races as I employ my training and scale from the upper level down to one below. Richmond isn't far behind me. When he gets down he takes a firearm from his waist handing it to me.

“There's only one round” he says, taking the point without any. There’s no time for questions. I follow his lead until I see a man with blood pooling from his leg. I go to help him but he pulls an automatic weapon. Before I can move I'm thrown to the ground. I hit the concrete hard before being dragged into a room. Richmond works quickly to lock us into a supplies closet. A firefight ensues and he uses his body on the other side of the door like a human shield. There are screams and wailing and so many pullets it sounds like shelling. The screaming is piercing and when it does stops so does the gunfire. My heart races violently, Richmond’s heart is too against my back. There’s talking in a language my brain can't make out. I hear footsteps, a door opens and screams are silenced by more gunfire.

“I got you” Richmond whispers, taking the gun from me. We stand together and he backs me into the corner standing against me again as he faces the door. I feel his back muscles contract as he aims the gun ahead. The footsteps get closer and the door is tried. When there is no luck opening it a round of bullets sing cutting through the door with no resistance. 

“All clear” a man's voice says but I dont move a muscle. There’s no movement from outside the door for over a minute. Terry nor I move a muscle but then I hear what sounds like a lock being shot off. Then I hear the sound of someone losing their life. I know Terry has discharged his weapon from the kickback. He moves quickly passing me back the smoking gun and ridding our would be killer of his automatic weapon. I take point and as we're out of the closet I see Joel in full gear. Relief washes over him and he takes off his helmet putting it on me.

“Terry, we have Cassandra - we’ve got to go.” he says, turning on his eyewear. They form a protective stance used for asset recovery all the way into our waiting car. 

“Are you hit?” Joel asks as the door closes and it's that exact moment I start to hyperventilate into hysterics. I watch panic take Joel as he lifts my dress up looking for blood.

“She’s wearing her suit” I hear Terry say and Joel relaxes, slumping into relief. His chest rises and falls as violently and fear is in his eyes for the first time.

“Breathe” Joel says but I can’t. “It’s okay kid” Joel says, holding me tight against him and I find the breaths come in sooner. I don't want to cry but I can't help it.

“What the fuck!” I hear Richmond scream.

“Boss we’re all accounted for and our clients are secure” a voice says.

“How does this happen?” He bellows.

“The attack was coordinated, we had ten minutes' notice but only got to it with six to go” the voice I recognize as Connor says.

“Be fucking through” Richmond snaps.

“I can't be sure but if the prelims are correct it was a strike for the Troy upset of last year” Connors says and I find myself relaxing a touch. I look at Terry recalling his words from last night. They seem prophetic now as I recall the “Troy upset” of last year. Tale as old as time, an unsatisfied trophy wife looks for love elsewhere. Then the neglectful husband’s ego can't take it and he lashes out.

“End all contracts.” The boss says and I can't take my eyes off of him.

“Check him” I say but my voice sounds hoarse and unlike myself. Joel lets me go.

“I’m fine,” Terry says.

“Are you in your suit?’ Joel asks.

“No” Terry responds, making my blood go cold. I look at him, he’d been shielding me from bullets and danger when he hadn't been wearing any protection?

“Check him” I repeat and the sound of my voice makes both men wince.

“I’m fine,” Richmond tells Joel.

Trembling, I push forward from Joel’s arms. I check for wounds like we’re supposed to, by pressing down and looking for blood. The moss watches me run my hands over his arms, he indulges me pressing on his chest and then lower onto his abdomen where my hands become stained red with sticky blood. Frantic, I rip away the fabric of his shirt to find shards of glass in his skin. I move back, eyes locked on him as the first responder’s begin caring for him. “I got you” his words echo in my consciousness. A forever promise. There is no suit, no kevlar, no defence against harm, just flesh, bone and the unrelenting resolve of Terrance Richmond.

“She’s gonna go into shock” he shouts sounding terrified and just like that I know he loves me.

I got you

authors note: Hope you enjoyed this update, things are heating up from here - full steam ahead. To those of you who watched Mufasa iykyk that scene had me like Sarabi, I get it sis. Had to inject it here lol

terrance's interlude ⇛

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[kurittomat]

The twin colonies -lore!

Some lore I have managed to brainstorm about Ukko's and Naakkatar's home colonies. All of this can still change + I don't know how big part of the story any of this is yet.

Twin colonies:

-Two cat colonies who live on a small island in the middle of a river.

-They absolutely hate each other and have been in war since. Since forever.

-Or they were until a huge battle took place and killed such a big part of both colonies that they decided that it is time for peace.

-To achieve this they married Naakkatar and Ukko. Crown prince of one colony and kitten of a well liked family from another colony.

-Both colonies hate and fear "unnatural" stuff (aka creatures like She from Jumalanpelko) so good that Naakkatar and Ukko dont start doing anything weird like switching bodi-- oh fuck

-The colonies dont have names yet so lets call them The Kingdom and Swans

The Kingdom:

-Lead by king/queen. The role is inherited by the ruling cat's bio kitten (usually oldest but can also be the kitten who fits the role best)

-VERY strict pecking order. King/queen has all the power. (Swans make fun of this since usually cat colonies don't have such dictators as leaders)

-Polygamous (you can also just have one mate but it is rare), pretty fine with queer cats (as long as you are still having babies)

-Having kittens is an honour and cats are encouraged to have litters cause WE NEED SOME CATS TO BEAT UP THE SWANS

-Some cats in The Kingdom have blue eyes! These are mostly in the royal bloodline but have spread

The Swans

-No clear leader. Swans are lead by the most well liked families

-Monogamous. All cats are to get married before they turn one. Some families arrange the marriages, some don't. You don't HAVE TO marry but you will be side-eyed and everyone thinks you will steal their wife/husband and you won't get to make big decisions (The Kingdom makes fun of this since this isnt natural for cats. Swans go "well at least we arent little hoes")

-Marriages are always to have kittens (so they can have more dudes to beat up The Kingdom) so no no for queers

-They have last names! Usually when cats get married they take the last name of what ever family is more popular at the moment.

-Cheating/having mates outside/before marriage is A BIG NO NO, it isnt rare for cats to get killed for that (more often mollies since having kittens can't really be hidden, tom cats can just say "fake news didnt happen")

-Since (even tho it is super forbitten) it isnt rare that cats have kittens with cats from the other colony The Swans also have a few blue eyed cats (and they are side-eyed cause WHERE DID YA GET THOSE EYES HUH) and if you have a blue eyed kitten (even if it was something they inherited from their grandparents ect) you will have to do some explaining.

So yeah wouldnt want to live in either one of these

[zekeyboy]

okay. here it is.

why john kramer (and lawrence gordon) are kind of classist

disclaimer: this contains some canon-based assumptions? nothing crazy. just know some of my points are “most likely this happened because this.”

this also contains bits from scripts. i really like gordon as a character i just like to pick apart guys with my brain

starting off strong with the fact that. most likely. lawrence gordon and john kramer were born into well-off families. that’s not to say they had the most perfect, 100% best lives, but i really doubt they struggled financially in a severe way. they both went to college for respectable degrees, and got respectable jobs where they feel that they are helping out society due to the goodwill of their own heart. the important thing to note is that they have most likely not experienced severe poverty or homelessness or living from check to check.

lawrence is very clearly over it when adam talks about how he does what he does because he needs to eat - and it’s no coincidence that adam was put opposite to lawrence in the game, because it was always lawrence’s game, and adam is someone that - despite the connection they gain - lawrence could feasibly bring himself to shoot and kill. he’s a ‘bottom feeder.’ he has no respectable job, he does shit they don’t approve of to survive. he’s the lowest rung of society and therefore it’s not a huge loss if he dies in that bathroom. not sure if that’s cohesive at all but it’s there in my mind.

in short: both lawrence and john (john’s the one who put him in lawrence’s game, after all) have very little respect for adam and his life solely because he’s on what they deem the bottom level of society. in poverty, committing illegal acts, and - ruining the lives of these better men.

when lawrence is crying near the end of the movie, he laments about having his “whole life in order” and wondering where it went wrong. he doesn’t come to the conclusion that the fact that he cheated on his wife is partially what made it all go south. he won’t even admit to it. and, yes, while the question of if he did actually physically cheat is up for debate - let’s be honest. that marriage was dying and it wasn’t allison’s fault.

if anything, at the very least, in that moment - lawrence feels that it’s adam and tapp’s fault for bringing all his dirty laundry to the top. it’s easy for him to pin the blame on them.

the most important piece of my argument is this part of the saw vii script, though. because it really hammers it in how the philosophy works. this is how john completely recruits lawrence.

the “underbelly of society has been indulged. they’ve begun to control the lives of the strong.”

the underbelly of society: addicts, sex workers. homeless people. impoverished people. a majority of the people who get trapped.

while you can come to me and say “john kramer traps rich guys too!” he does. that is true. but he also has a deleted trap where a homeless guy has to sift through shards of glass. trapped for being homeless is the most insensible thing i have heard of. he sucks.

the strong: important, respectable rich men like john and lawrence.

and that sentiment gets lawrence on board. he hears that and hes like “yeah these people deserve to be horrifically maimed.”

which is also what these tags said on my last post -

thank you to @a-dotrivenitupontop

the majority of the people behind john’s cause are these rich white men. amanda is an outlier - mostly because she’s more like a trophy for john, in a way. that’s a whole other post though

i didnt organize my thoughts here at all. idk if this is coherent. i couldn’t tell you. i just woke up. thanks guys

[eueuphoriaz]

Finally part 4 of the Railway Investigations voice drama

So, Part 4 picked up from where Levi complained that Hange had piled all her shopping bags to him, as they made their way to Nagoya castle to gather with everyone. Hange exclaimed about the fast and efficient of the railway again. And she made fun of his name. (Li Vai Eee Eee heee Eee heeee heeee)😆

Levi then poked fun at her hyperactive brain again, and Hange seemingly knew what he is thinking about (i think is her just running away when he complained about the bags). So Hange tried to appease him, saying she didnt want that too, and tried to give him a little bags to carry only. (The way she said "For real", is just like little puppy pleading 🥺). And then a tentative "yeah?" To check that Levi is not angry by putting up a cute and spoiled expression? 🥹

Anyway a few more banter about her idea of light luggage etc then Hange saw Nagoya Castle and they talked about how grand it is, how strong the structure is that it can probably endure a titan attack but Levi can still sneak in with the ODM gear. Then Hange explained that the castle is 400 years old, and regarding attacks, even with ODM gears there are also windows and points where bows and guns can attack invaders. Then she add that although there is attack capabilities but the castle was never involved in a battle and that it can endure a huge earthquake about 100 years ago.

Then Levi said the castle looked new for being 400 years old and Hange explained that though there was never a field attack, there was a war where attacks drop from the sky, burned the castle to nothing. So the castle they are looking at now is a reconstruction from about 60 years ago.

Levi then said why the need to rebuild if it may break again. Hange then said it is their perspective but she was told that in this country, they preserve history and culture to pass to future generations. So even if there are problems they cant fix down, the future generations can study the way of thinking to solve the problem. In a way the solution to a problem is to think ahead and not just focus on a solution now.

Anyway, Levi then conclude the mindset of looking beyond the current problems and then he reminded Hange that big global problems aside, there is a small problem that they are late.

And after Hange realised they are late and everyone had gathered, she grumbled that Levi did not remind her (😏)

Then Hange told him to hurry but Levi decided to irritate Hange and said he had a lot of luggage to carry. He told her to hurry up and there is nothing else to do cos they are already late.

And Hange order Levi to take care of the supplies and dont rush but hurry, while she walked ahead of him.

Now, this monologue by Levi is also very interesting.

After commenting that Hange gave him a crazy order, he reflected to Erwin that Hange too, had the same look as the kid (i am guessing is Armin).

Ok, here's how I interpret the last few sentences, I may be totally wrong. (Levihan lens on)

I think Levi is trying to feel assured that Hange is doing well in Erwin's shoes and that she doesnt need his support yet. Probably just his support to carry the bags.

Why do I say so. Cos in Part 2, he had been asking Hange what did she want to see besides the railway. It is like him asking Erwin in Season 3 what does he plan to do after the truth in the basement is known.

And I remember that there was some interview that Armin could be the next "landing" for Levi after Erwin is gone to commit his Ackerman strength to.

Now, my thinking is that this whole liege thing, is based on free-will from the Ackermans and driven by a deep sense of emotions. Like Kenny's sense of compassion being instigated by Uri and Kenny wanting to see what Uri sees.

I see this similarity between Levi and Erwin too. Like there is a purpose for both Kenny and Levi to support Uri and Erwin. This is inspired by a deep sense of emotional purpose and meaning from Uri and Erwin.

Which is why I feel that in Part 2 of this voice drama, when Levi repeated Erwin's words of "if there is something we dont understand, just go and seek it" and then him asking Hange again and again why she wanted to see, I feel that there is something going on there.

And Part 2 and Part 4 are where Levi ended the voice drama with his monologue to Erwin, and Part 4 ending that Hange had that look in Armin as well. Comparing Hange's crazy orders and Erwin's order, I think that sets a different Commander-Captain relationship between Hange and Levi, vs, Erwin and Levi.

And of course, putting Part 3 with all the Levihan moments, about spending good time with important people and looking at all the small things in life, together, I would say that somehow somewhere, Levi's dream of setting a tea shop, while Hange take things slow and enjoy and savour discoveries in life, is starting to form in both of their minds.

Of course, these are just my thoughts, with Levihan filter on. If anything, it is still just enjoyable to listen to the voice acting of these 4 parts.

[Part 1][Part 2][Part 3][Part 4]

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being friends with someone my roommate didnt like?

ok this might be long but here we go. Last semester I had a roommate who I liked pretty well, and we had a mutual friend, H. At some point, roomie got mad at h because h had apparently outed someone as schizophrenic.

H is not exactly anti-weed, but she is very adamantly against it for herself and anyone else at risk of psychological complications from it. My roomie was smoking with someone who h knew to be schizophrenic, so h told the group that they were smoking with about her concerns. I don't really agree with the way h went about this, but I'm ashamed to admit I sort of forgot to bring it up with her.

Later, h told me that roomie was avoiding her, and we talked about her possibly apologizing and why it was something roomie was particularly sensitive to.

[I'm afraid there's something missing here, maybe something more that I did to drive roomie away. I dunno.]

Roomie began to avoid both of us, but I didn't realize that it was on purpose and I was probably forcing myself into conversations with them because of that. Eventually, roomie started to move out of our room without telling me. Somewhere towards the beginning of this, a mutual friend? of ours made a joke about them looking for a new roommate. I asked why their books were all packed up, they told me it was because they'd be taking them home for thanksgiving. I thought ok, sounds like a lie, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. I truly had no idea why they would be moving out. I gradually went a little crazy watching them sleep in another room and pack all their stuff up, all the while saying nothing to me about it. I finally asked them about it, and they told me yes, they were moving out. Problem is though I think they might've been upset about something already when I asked about it? But they said they were fine so I accepted that as the truth. Again, I dunno. I think I was rude during this interaction but sadly can't remember anything I said besides yelling maybe the start of a sentence and then cutting myself off.

They moved out the next morning. I offered to help, they asked me not to. I was really upset and, stupidly, decided to take it up with them. That evening when I asked if we could talk, they openly rolled their eyes at me. I know it's stupid and probably the most asshole-y thing in this ask, but that drove me crazy. I said some shit, I don't remember what, but part of it was that I was "disappointed" in them. I don't know what that was supposed to be but it was NOT what I wanted to say. They, understandably, were really mad. I left and, too soon, texted them an apology. They replied, not rudely, telling me they don't want any contact with me, but also said, and I'll paraphrase, that they knew h had told me some things (probably referring to the possible reasons they moved out) and [my] friend is one of the reasons [they] left because they like to lie. This really hurt me because I still have no idea what this was about.

Later on, I'm not sure how much later, I was talking to h while roomie and their friends were in the next room. h was saying some things about the situation that I thought were a little extreme. I don't totally remember the order of events but it somehow ended up that roomie was yelling at h and they said something about h "creeping on transmasc freshmen." H is a trans woman and a sophomore, we are college students. I have a vague idea of who this might be referring to, if not myself or my roomie, who I don't think identifies as transmasc, but h had led me to believe that things ended amicably with this third party.

Anyways this story doesnt totally fit the aita format but I just needed to write it all out. If you're involved in this story, please know I'm trying not to be mad abt it anymore which is why I'm submitting it here, I'm hoping to be told why i'm TA or NAH.

What are these acronyms?

[the-s1lly-corner]

Telling them you love them for the first time (Zooble, Jax, Kinger, Pomni)

woooo im almost done with my tycoon, i think this might be the last post of the night since im!!!! sleeeeeepy!! so uhuh yeah might make a part 2 of this with the rest of the cast, would do all of them in this but im too tired to think

POMNI:

i think she would stare at you for a second, before it sinks in what you said. you didnt even make a big show of it, you just said it casually in the conversation... she tugs the ends of her hat before asking for you to repeat what you said... and you say it again.. i think a smile would spread across her face before she repeats what you said back... because its her truth, she loves you too... in fact this might very well be her first time saying it to you, too... so you both get to do it together, figuratively holding one another hand in this next step

JAX:

i think he would ask you to repeat yourself, too.... but pomni was unsure of what you said at first, jax heard you loud and clear the first time.. he just wants to hear you say it again.. kind of has this smug little look on his face.. i dont think at this point in time he said he loved you, i mean yeah its in his body language and actions that he does like you, but he hasnt actually said it flat out yet... and i think it might be a while before he does... his whole.. being vulnerable thing really kicks in for stuff like that... probably keeps asking you to repeat it before you decide to stop humoring him... all in lighthearted fun, though

KINGER:

this is going to be huge for him, considering that he never thought he would get into another relationship after... his previous one... so hearing you say it brings a lot of feelings in him. love, because he really does love you... guilt, because even though hes a widow, he still also loves his queen... but also... he cant help but feel that this can be a chance to heal, and to let himself be happy just this once.. and to feel at peace.. i think... while he wont say he loves you back just yet, at least no those three words... he does say something akin to it, he just cant bring himself to say those three words. baby steps, for him.. but know that hes going to think about what you said for the next few days

ZOOBLE:

their antennae stiffen before 'drooping' a little and readjusting themselves. they try to pretend you didnt just say that, but they absolutely did... i think they would mumble an i love you back... though it comes out muddled but hey theres something there! another one thats going to need some time to say it loud and clear, but zooble generally doesnt know how to articulate their feelings, both due to not having the words for it but also because they dont have the nerve. a big chunk of their attitude stems from them simply accepting things as they are in order to keep from abstracting... or rather from going nuts, since i think they were already like this before getting stuck in the digital world... but... that aside... they are better at showing you they care

[employee052]

ozzies long-ass TSP ramble

For context, a few days ago i was in a thinky mood when i watched this video on Valve catwalks. it mentioned death of the author, and while ive heard of it, I didnt understand what it meant until after the video explained it. So i got thinking. the following was a series of messages I sent to my friends on a discord server im in (with the exception of the last part bc i just thought of it now even tho im sick) that i compiled for yall into sections so its easier to read. these are just my thoughts and could be totally wrong, i just wanted to share aksjdh :P (plus this is my second time im posting this so there might be some inconsistencies)

(ramble under the cut so yall dont get a massive wave of text on your dash)

"smth smth death of the author smth smth reviews smth smth interpretations smth smth skip button"

like idk if this was obvious to everyone else n im just finally getting it or not, but the skip button ending being about the narrator seeing the negative reviews causing him to create the button in order to appease them, which said reviews ended up making him believe he was being preachy and obnoxious and unfunny, but as a result, he ends up believing it and trying to appease those interpretations rather than be more confident of his dialogue and what it means to him(whatever he may believe) and ending up dying at the end bc of it being a kind of literal version a death of an author of sorts

---

im just thinking about how timekeeper/settings person/432/whatever is really only interested in the player, but not stanley himself. and if the narrator ends up dying (or decaying at least in my interpretation) during the skip button, could the same be said about stanley as a character as well?

like we never see stanleys model as us, we dont see his feet when we look down, and the only time we see him in game is either as a hand during the bucket escape pod ending, the mariella endings, and the not stanley ending. and the last two are cutscenes. for all we know, stanley could have died at some point during the skip button after the narrator did and we would never know bc we cant see him

but since 432's desk being at the end of the epilogue which happens post skip button ending, i would have said that was the first time we ever see him interact with the game internally rather than asking for the time. but i do remember someone suggesting that the timekeeper was the one who removed the door in the skip button in order to kill the narrator off and get stanley/the player away from him in order to talk more

with that thought in mind, that would mean TK had to kill stanley and the narrator off in order to be able to lead the game, push beyond the barriers of a narrator and character and just talk to the player, one on one

---

it makes me wonder if what the curator said in the museum ending holds more weight

like, she talks to the player as well. both she and TK talk to the player themselves instead of stanley the character. and when she says "When every path you can walk has been created for you long in advance, death becomes meaningless, making life the same. Do you see now? Do you see that Stanley was already dead from the moment he hit start?"

stanley's function is a character in the narrators story, a literary device to propel the game forward. the narrator makes the race track, and stanley drives. without the narrator where would stanley go or do, without stanley who would move the story along?

"Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another? No, perhaps not. Sometimes these things cannot be seen."

and yet, hes dead, just like the curator said. because no matter what, he's never going to be able to truly make his own decisions. the confusion ending lays out how all the endings are scripted despite what the narrator believes and acts, its all predetermined.

and in a sense, the narrators dead too. no matter what stanley tries to do to change the story, or the narrator changes to the game in order for stanley to react to, its been planned long in advance for the eventuality. every word, every event. and with stanley's deaths, it ends up just bringing them back to the beginning again, "What exactly did the Narrator think he was going to accomplish?" if they always come back to the same preplanned paths, to the illusion of free will, it doesnt matter regardless. death doesnt become a statement, it becomes an inconvenience.

"But listen to me, you can still save these two. You can stop the program before they both fail. Push escape, and press quit. There's no other way to beat this game. As long as you move forward, you'll be walking someone else's path. Stop now, and it'll be your only true choice."

The only way to save both Stanley and The Narrator is by not letting the story play out to begin with. To beat the game, which means to let the game end after you win.

and yet,

the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is neve-

In a game where there is no ending that stops the game in its entirety, where everything will keep on happening again and again and the end is never the end, the only way to beat it is to make a choice as yourself the player, not stanley the character.

because he doesnt get a choice, the narrator doesnt get a choice. they think they do, but they dont. the only way to beat the game is to not play it. (which makes sense given that there are achievements involving not playing the game in both the 2013 HD remaster and 2022 Ultra Deluxe)

both Stanley and The Narrator are two sides of the same coin that make up The Stanley Parable, and the only way to use the coin is to give it away.

maybe thats why the true ending of the game with credits and stuff like that, is the Not Stanley Ending.

You the player have successfully broken the fourth wall from the outside in, even though that ending was planned like all the others (ie, the game allowing you to disconect the phone), you break the illusion of being stanley the character, which the game ends up booting you out of stanley as it cant handle the "narrative contradiction".

maybe thats why the escape pod ending has the sign that reads "both the player and the narrator must be present in order to leave". its not stanley, its the player, us.

maybe thats why that ending is one of the most cruel. the only way to get there is to leave the narrator trapped in the boss' office. there's no way to get him to the escape pod. the end is never the end.

---

(this part was the new idea i just had today so this might not make sense i appologize)

going back to the beginning of this ramble about the death of the author and such. perhaps there is a way to get the narrator out.

with thoughts about interpretations and with he idea of the "death of the author", all of us have our own interpretations of the TSP characters. whether its design, or relationship wise, or characterization, or what have you. The Narrator in my head is different from you reading this, and that narrator is different from another persons perspective, and definitely our narrators are different to the one that lives in Davey Wreden's head, or Kevan Brighting, or anyone who has even heard of the stanley parable.

and that's not a bad thing! there can be many similarities to the characters that our interpretations share, some more common than others and some that make no sense at all, but for the most part we all have different interpretations of the characters.

I read a book called Book Simulator (The Reader's guide to not reading) by Chris Yee on stream once. The VOD is gone now. But I discovered the book because I heard the guy writing/the narrator of sorts for the book was written like the Stanley Parable Narrator.

It didnt help that Kevan brighting voiced over the commercial for it too askjdh

but back to the book. this will contain somewhat spoilers for it since it brings up a moment at the end of the book so feel free to stop here if you dont want to be spoiled

---

basically, in Book Simulator, Booksi (The book's instructional narrator on how to fake read at the start of the book) is arguing with The Narrator (no not ours, but the general narrator who speaks in the third person), however, its revealed by The Narrator that Booksi has a plan to take over the world by inhabiting more book simulators and distributing them across the world. But, the reader could kill off the booksi that they have in their hands that they are reading, to quote:

"Or was he the original Booksi? Maybe not. Maybe the original Booksi had been vanquished long ago, and the reader was now facing one of the many copies roaming the world. Both Booksi and the Narrator knew the answer to this question, but neither would reveal the truth."

---

Taking from Book Simulator the concept of multiple iterations of one character existing in different copies of the media they originate from, maybe in a way that's how the Narrator may die in the stanley parable, forever stuck to repeat the same endings with the illusion of free will, but he lives on somewhat for everyone that has seen or heard of him in any capacity.

this may sound a bit preachy (oh the irony) but bare with me:

The Original Narrator from The Stanley Parable is dead, dead in the sense that he and Stanley are stuck within the game, given the illusion of free choice, and unable to leave nor do anything to try and escape, is also alive in the sense that we the players perception of The Narrator lives on in our minds.

The Narrator from the game might be stuck, but the Narrator i see in my head, the one i designed and draw and think of is perfectly fine and alive as ever.

and the same goes with you and anyone else who has heard of the narrator. their interpretation is still unique and different to them even if it all comes from the same media. he may not be exactly the same as the original, but hes still there. and in a way, hes free.

(man typing this last segment down makes me feel like a gd priest, and/or someone talking abt the barbie movie akjdhkjasdh so sorry if doesnt make sense at all :P)

[angelicvee]

anyone else but you chapter 5: you'll have to stop the world just to stop the feeling wc: 2.6 k dont chase after girls in the middle of rush hour.. someone is bound to get hurt

It was just coffee.. Nothing special. Just coffee. Its not like they were going on a date or meeting to unpack every unfortunate event that had unfolded between them. Coffee couldn't fix anything really but it was a start. A beautiful fresh start. Annie stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the collar of her sweater for the third time. It was ridiculous, she thought, to be this nervous about a simple coffee. But it wasn’t just coffee, and it wasn’t just anyone. It was Victoria. What if the brunette made fun of her order like she used to. How would she even process that stupid little laugh she always used to let out after poking fun at the small things. The meaningless habits annie used to have. She always used to get so embarrassed…especially when it came to eating. Victoria ordered black coffee every time they went out, she was definitely just trying to be edgy at first but somewhere along the line it became something she actually enjoyed. On the other hand annie would order some form of caramel coffee that smelt of pure sugar and diabetes. It was the one bit of ‘cheat’ food she got to indulge in…. Though vicky always laughed at her sickly sweet choice Her reflection stared back at her, betraying the flurry of emotions beneath the surface. She glanced over at her phone, the confirmation message from Victoria still glowing on the screen: Can’t wait to catch up, it’s been too long. A small smile tugged at the corner of Annie’s mouth, but it quickly faded. It had been too long. years, in fact. Years since their paths had diverged, since life had pulled them in different directions. Years since Annie had last felt that gnawing ache in her chest whenever she thought about Victoria. —--- “Annie hurry up… its a coffee shop not a runway. Get your shoes on alreadyyy!” victoria called out down the hall, shivering in her slightly oversized jacket as she awaited her friend. It had been what felt like centuries since the duo went on one of their little outings.. Mostly because donna january had been parading her daughter around the pageant circuit like some poor little show pony. The blonde accepted it like she was supposed to. She hated it though. Yes she wanted to be a hero, she wanted to help people.. But these stupid pageants felt like torture at times. And the training she had to endure in order to win was trialling to say the least. The worst part wasnt any of those little things though. It was the amount of distance between victoria and herself. Annie needed that girl like she needed air to breath. Honestly it felt a little suffocating sometimes. Not their friendship.. But the yearning and pining she secretly experienced behind those pretty little eyes of hers.

“Vicky just give me a second.. Please! I cant find my jacket” the blonde eventually replied in a sort of frantic tone. Like this jacket was seriously upsetting her and the fact she couldnt find it would most likely plague her mind all day if it didnt show up soon. The blonde was just like that.. She put a lot of effort into everything.. Mainly because she wanted victoria to notice her. Like really notice her.. Which the brunette already did. In her own quiet way. “Its in my hands.. Now come onnnn im cold and its cold.. And im sure your mom isnt fan of the..cold air rushing through this big open door im desperate to walk out of…!” victoria just wanted to go and spend some time with annie. The blonde was probably her favourite person. They were inseparable.. Well inseparable in spirit. Stan thought it was sweet. He was just pleased victoria had a friend in all honesty. He was however much more aware of the smaller details than ms january would ever be. He had sat through hours upon hours of victoria rambling on about her friend. Sometimes he chose not to ask about his daughter’s day to avoid said rambles.. But that was after long stressful work days, not because he didnt care.

Annie finally made her way down the hall, the heels on her little winter boots clicking against the hard wood floor as she let out a cute little smile and politely snatched her coat from the brunette. “Youre my knight in shining armour” she sang, adjusting her outfit and slipping an arm through victoria’s very casually. It was a friend thing.. Nothing more. *nothing more* she thought to herself, shutting the door behind them both and braving the cold. —---- Annie took a few deep breaths before fighting with her hair. It had too look pretty.. *she had to look pretty for victoria.* She pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail, trying to shake off the memories that had been tormenting her all morning. Hughie’s face flashed in her mind, his goofy smile and earnest eyes. He was a good guy, maybe the best she’d ever known. But even he couldn’t quiet the small voice in the back of her mind that whispered Victoria’s name in the quiet moments. As the supe slipped on her shoes, she felt the familiar weight of guilt settle in her stomach. Hughie didn’t deserve this he didn’t deserve a girlfriend who was so tangled up in her past that she couldn’t fully be present in the now. But how could she explain it to him? How could she explain the way her heart still skipped a beat whenever she thought of Victoria? How could she tell him that even after all this time, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever truly moved on? She didnt really know what moving on felt like if she was completely honest. And truthfully, she didnt really want to find out.

Annie shook her head, trying to push the irritatingly persistent thoughts back into the little mental box she kept them in. This wasn’t the time for introspection. It was just coffee. Two old friends catching up. She grabbed her coat, trying to ignore the way her hands trembled as she buttoned it up. Fumbling over each button as she pondered over silly little memories and worries.

As she stepped out into the crisp autumn air, she felt a strange mix of excitement and dread. What would she even say to Victoria? How would she explain her absence, the way she’d distanced herself all those years ago? Would Victoria even care? Leaves creased and crumpled under the soles of annie’s boots. She chose her timberlands with small patterns embroidered into them. They were actually a gift.. From maeve of all people. The blonde had been so incredibly surprised by the gesture, she dint really think of maggie as an embroidery kind of person.. Although the supe did keep her life on the low.. There was a lot she kept secret.

The blonde arrived at the coffee shop a few minutes early, the familiar chime of the doorbell ringing in her ears as she stepped inside. The warm scent of freshly brewed coffee wrapped around her, but it did little to calm her nerves. She spotted an empty table near the window and made her way over, her heart pounding in her chest. Victoria seemed to put a lot of strain on her poor little heart huh?

Minutes ticked by as she sat there, fidgeting with the edge of her napkin. Her eyes flicked between the city moving outside and the door. Leaves fell outside, drifting delicately to the floor before getting trampled by sudden rushes of people mostly heading to work. Despite attempting to seem nonchalant, the sound of the door opening and closing terrorised the blonde. Sending a jolt of anxiety through her every single time. Finally, the door swung open, and there she was..Victoria. Annie’s breath caught in her throat. Victoria looked... different, but in a way that only made Annie’s heart ache more. She was as beautiful as ever, her dark hair cascading over her shoulders, her eyes sharp and searching as they locked onto Annie’s. For a moment, they just stared at each other, the weight of the years hanging heavy between them.

Victoria broke the silence first, her smile warm but guarded as she walked over. “Annie,” she said softly, sliding into the seat across from her. “It’s good to see you.”

Annie tried to smile, but it felt forced, unnatural. “Yeah, it’s... been a while.”

There was an awkward pause, both of them unsure of how to bridge the gap that had formed between them. Victoria’s eyes flicked down to Annie’s hands, still fidgeting with the napkin, and a shadow of something unreadable passed over her face.

“So, how’s everything?” Victoria asked, her voice casual, but there was an undercurrent of tension that neither of them could ignore.

Annie swallowed hard, forcing herself to meet Victoria’s gaze. “Good,” she lied. “Everything’s... good. I’m, um, well you know about hughie...”

Victoria’s smile faltered for just a fraction of a second, but it was enough for Annie to notice. “He’s great, Annie. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” the blonde replied quickly, the word heavy on her tongue. She didn’t know why she’d brought up Hughie, as if saying his name could create some sort of barrier between her and the feelings that were clawing at her insides like rabid animals.

Another silence settled over them, thicker this time. Annie searched for something to say, anything to fill the void, but every thought felt too dangerous, too close to the truth she wasn’t ready to face.

“Victoria,” she began, her voice trembling slightly. “I—”

But before she could continue, Victoria’s phone buzzed on the table, cutting through the tension. Victoria glanced at the screen, her expression tightening, and Annie felt a pang of disappointment that she quickly tried to bury.

“Sorry, it’s work,” Victoria said, her tone apologetic but distant. “I have to take this.”

Annie nodded, watching as Victoria stood up and walked a few steps away to answer the call. She stared out the window, her heart heavy. She wondered if it was possible to drown in emotions. She was sure that was happening to her as she reflected on the pathetic conversation they had been attempting. As she watched Victoria speak into the phone, her expression shifting from concern to something darker, Annie couldn’t shake the feeling that she was missing something, something important.

When Victoria returned, she seemed more guarded than before, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. “Sorry about that,” she said, sitting back down. “Where were we?” there was definitely something victoria had chosen not to delve into. Something she was hiding beneath the surface of those pretty chocolate eyes and false smiles. The woman really had become a mystery, a woman made from years and years of carefully thought out lies and stories.

Annie forced a smile, but her heart wasn’t in it. “It’s okay,” she said, but the words felt hollow. There was so much she wanted to say, but the moment had passed, and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever get it back. She wasnt even sure if she wanted it back anymore

As they continued their stilted conversation, both of them carefully avoiding the topics that truly mattered, Annie couldn’t help but feel that this coffee was just the beginning of something more complicated than either of them were prepared for. Like she had just taken the most stupid leap of faith.. Except her heart wasnt all the way in it. So really there was very little to hope for.

Honestly she had no clue what she was doing. God this felt scarier than the looming blonde threat she faced daily. Annie could confidently say she would pick an elevator alone with homelander over this awkward coffee date in a heartbeat.

“Annie.. Why did you really call me? Forgive me for saying this but.. I just find it hard to believe you really wanted to reach out all of a sudden. I mean its been years” the brunette suddenly spoke up. Her tone sort of cut off from any semblance of emotion. Victoria was always good at hiding her feelings. Annie however didnt have that skill. That was made clear when her eyes glassed up over a few simple words. How pathetic was that?

Victoria felt a little bad for even speaking once she caught sight of her old friend. The girl looked like she had just received the worst news of her life. It was horrible. “Dont get me wrong… im glad you did.. But this feels a little forced doesnt it? Maybe we just need to let the past rest?”

How could she say that? How could she sound so gentle and so reassuring while those vile words spewed out of her?

This wasnt real. Annie found herself pinching her leg subtly, her mouth opening and closing over and over as she struggled to find words. Nothing came out, nothing wanted to. The blonde felt a little tear run down her cheek, then she felt victoria stand. Why was she getting up? Why couldnt she follow her?

“Ill pay.. My way of congratulating you on achieving your dreams..” The congress woman smiled. It was as though she couldnt see annie and her devastated reaction, asthough that was all in the blonde’s head and really she had been smiling along.

It took victoria stepping out in the cold for the blonde to finally move. Scurrying after her, pushing through people. Person after person all just seemed to get in the way. It was like the universe laughing at her from above. Separating them after they had finally found one another. God she probably shoved through a billion people to catch up with victoria.

Victoria could hear the blonde. Well she could hear her heartbeat. The supe could pinpoint that heartbeat in any crowd. Sometimes she found herself listening to it at in the office. She noticed every little change, every slight increase. Sometimes, when it really increased she had to hold back from calling up stan edgar and forcing him to pull his little supe club in line. The congress woman didnt want to hear it though. Not now. Not while she desperately strode through the bustling streets. Tears streaming down her perfectly sculpted face. Hands wiping the crystal streams away as she tried to think of literally anything but the hero.. Who had adverts at what seemed like every turn.

It just got louder and louder until a hand snaked over her shoulder, tugging her back with an unexpected force. Annie probably shouldnt have yanked the poor woman back but.. Well she wasnt thinking straight. Although her adrenaline rush came to a sudden halt as an earth shattering migraine washed over her.

It felt as though her head might explode

��Fuck-!” she whined, pressing at her temples before the pain just vanished. A light ache left in its place for a few moments. “Victoria.. i want to get to know you again. Please just listen to me”

“Annie.. I really think you need to just let go.. This isnt worth it.. We arent worth it.”

fuck if those words were a blade they would draw more blood than the blonde had in her body. They could break the coldest of hearts. “We arent worth it..” she repeated, her eyes welling up again. Hand reaching for the woman’s shoulder as she mindlessly dragged her into the closest alleyway. Annie wasnt thinking. She had stopped doing that a few days ago

[toastyliltoasts]

Purely A Coincidence

Part 2

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Pairing; Prince!Wilbur x GN!reader

Words; 2.3k

About; After being sent away by your mother, abruptly might I add, to a whole new kingdom; a new life, as a physician's apprentice, you run into a complete asshole.

Warning(s); Swearing, Mention of pillory (although idk if that's a warning), dont know why but usage of cringey ass names cus I dont know wtf to call the characters (apologies to all the Isaacs), Mention of dagger, Not proofread :)

A/N; So uh holy shit. came home back to 21 damn notes on the last (first) fic I posted so I just guessed somehow that you all are in love with Wilbur.. So here's another one ✌️ (Also Niki, our beloved, is here <33)

Taglist; (I forgot to add this but uhhh lmk if you wanna be added to the taglist)

The rest of the story contracted very shortly, you had ended up in prison after the prince, who you now knew as Wilbur, had ordered for you to be sent to jail for six nights and then made you lovely reservations to the royal stables to muck it out clean. The thing is, that wasnt even the best part. You had to sit through approximately more than 3 whole hours, being lectured by your uncle, inside prison might I add, about how that was 'irresponsible' and could've gotten you in trouble. He wasnt wrong, not one bit, but that self obsessed ass really got on your nerves. Plus, you were pretty sure the jailors were also tired from the continuous scolding.

So after what felt like a lifetime of being lectured, Phil let you know that he talked to Wilbur's father who was, surprise surprise, a really good friend of your uncle's and managed to get you out of that hellhole after two nights but apparently, you had to keep your end of the deal as well.

And that's how you found yourself, trapped in a pillory, as rotten tomatoes, apples and other decaying fruits and vegetables were thrown at you by children and adolescents at surprising speed.

Needless to say, Phil had to draw you a huge bath and help you get pieces of unrecognizable fruit that stuck to your hair. And you're probably never seeing your tunic again either. After that the lectures did indeed stop, as you made a begrudging Phil promise, yet the infamous raise of his 'better not try anything' brow did not. You already had a daily entitlement to that hawk look of Phil's ever since he found out that your mother sent you to L'manberg because she was afraid for your safety.

She had sent a letter with you to hand over to Phil which probably mentioned something about your 'gifts', or whatever she called it. It was true that you would probably be considered an outcast there if anyone but your mum and your best friend, Isaac had found out. You knew that you had a little bit of, if not the whole of your existence, related to Merlin Ambrosius according to all the bed time stories you've learned from you mother. So it made some sense that you were related to sorcery. But that just made Phil more concerned about you and try to keep you out of possible danger, which you appreciated in some way.

And so, with countless warnings to you about keeping your 'special abilities', as he liked to call it, out of hindsight, he just pushed some vials full of, what you guessed were probably disgusting, medicine into your hands and told you that those needed carrying to various people around the castle and village, whose names you probably would've forgotten if Phil didnt drill it into your mind. So off you went on you 'merry' way to only run into the person you least expected to meet.

"Ah, I see some time in the stocks were just what you needed" Wilbur smirked with a raised bow as if asking you to confirm his suspicions. Keep walking, keep walking, keep wal-

"Come on now, no need to be afraid of me" he sounded pretty satisfied with the jab as your legs pause to let yourself take a deep breath.

"From you ?" you asked, still with your back facing him and not letting him have the satisfaction of ticking you off. Honestly, you've genuinely had enough of him.

"And the idiot speaks" he smirked. You hear the contact of his boots clashing with the hard rock of the surface.

"Look, I already told you you're an ass. Guess I just didnt realize that its a prince's one" you slowly turned around on your heel only to be met with his slightly amused look of shock and his other 'henchmen'.

"What's this now ? Got daddy's men to protect you ?" you gestured to the men surrounding him. He chuckles, his caramel eyes glinting with a hint of gold in the sun light though you could only interpret him as 'up his own ass'.

"You do know that Im capable of handling myself right ?" he replied sarcastically, though he seemed pretty adamant that he could knock you out with one blow (which he probably could and you already knew you were in trouble)

"Never knew that" you sent him a mock shocked expression before continuing.

"Care to set an example ?" your tone was nonchalant yet your mind was running feral. Genuinely not because of this dumbass infront of you but because you were in for another lecture when you're done.

Wilbur raised a brow in a challenging manner, chuckling lightly before maintaining direct eye contact with you.

"You dont know what you're getting yourself into, do you ?" he paused for your confirmation.

"I am very much aware, actually"

Well, another long story short, you were done. Wilbur had handed you a flail to make the 'competition' fair and things commenced. Both Wilbur and you had flipped over dozens of carts and boxes as he tried to corner you in for easy access and your weak spots while, to be honest, you were just swinging the flail around in defence with slight co-ordination, having never picked up the said mace in your life before. You could feel the now forming crowd's eyes burning into you as he had effectively trapped you between a wall and a wooden stall.

Before you could even process it, your eyes flashed a shade of gold, which thankfully no one saw, and his mace was stuck, wrapped around a pole. It bought you a bit more time to get properly on your feet and grab a near by broom. Just as you neared him, to demand for him to submit, you saw your uncle Phil in the crowd with the most disappointed and disapproving face he could muster which made you feel more guilty than you've ever been in your life. You felt something in the bottom of your stomach, some itch of sorts. Almost as it you were gettng deja-vu. And in that moment of weakness, Wilbur managed to grab another broom, land a hit on your head, which hurt like hell thank you very much, and trip you. But, surprisingly, he let you go just as the gaurds were about to drag you to the stocks again, saying something about how 'there's something about you that he just cant put his finger on'.

Phil had, instead of the gaurds, dragged you back to physician quarters, scolding you the whole way there. Unfortunately, he had seen your little stunt you pulled to distract Wilbur and went absolutely berserk on how you shouldnt use magic in front of people, that it would get you nowhere but the pyre. You were honestly sick of this, you were sick of this kingdom and you were sick of everything in it, especially that royal prat Wilbur. So you just wordlessly went into your room before throwing yourself on the bed like a ragdoll and spent the rest of the day there. That is, of course, until Phil came in with some kind of poultice to apply on the bruises forming on your arms. You both just conversed like nothing happened before you brought up the topic of your magic. Phil just told you that it was there for a reason he didnt know, but for a reason nonetheless. He gave your head and hair a fatherly ruffle before leaving dinner on your table and out the room.

You woke up slightly numb but better with rest. You left your room and sat down on the wooden dining table as your uncle made you breakfast. You apparently had to give some sort of sleeping draught to the lady Niki because, for some reason, she had trouble sleeping. And while gulping down your breakfast, your uncle informed you of some visiting neighboring king and how there was some sort of welcoming celebration that, as court physician's apprentice, you were allowed to attend. You werent exactly the most excited for hours upon hours of treacherous, boring speeches you've seen back in Willowdale. But you just thanked Phil for the lovely breakfast and carried on with your day. You found the way to lady Niki's chambers with the help of multiple gaurds and got there with slight ease, only since you had directions of course.

Niki was, undoubtedly, the nicest royal you've ever met. She was headstrong and had a lot of courage, while being extremely humble to the point you couldnt even believe she was blood related to that snob. She was incredibly polite and made you feel like you were back with a childhood best friend again. And after giving her the draught and leaving, Niki promised to let you know if she needed anything else. You giddily walked back to the quarters with a smile etched onto your face at your interaction with the lovely lady.

You followed Phil like a lost kid, gawking at everything your eyes land on. The castle was lit with absolutely beautiful shades of colours painted on the candles and the gold decoration shined under its glow. The ambiance was definitely lively with bits and peices of conversations between other people enter your ear.

"You sure this isnt some coronation, Phil ?" you asked, baffled at how above and beyond the royals went for a simple welcoming party. Phil chuckled.

"Of course not," he spoke as if you were a child, even as he said your name.

"As I see you've met Wilbur countless times, him and his father dont take celebrations lightly" Phil let you know with a playful glare at the previous statement. You scoffed, annoyance directed at the specific royal probably more visible now.

"I can see that very clearly, Phil" you glared at the prince you spotted previously, a few moments after you entered the ceremony hall.

You also spotted several well known royals around the kingdom and even outside of it. And of course, along with the visiting king who had all this ceremonious stuff done for him as just a 'gift' from L'manberg, its royals and people.

The celebration went on for a bit more before the royals of L'manberg had to deliver their speech. You had to stand a bit far away at the table and had to stay besides Phil as you listened the never ending string of words. You, god knows why, got that feeling that you've done this before, even when you've lived at Willowdale until now. You shook it off as your mind trying to entertain your bored self.

That is, until you saw a blur of glinting sliver under the low dim of the chandelier. Your eyes tracked down the metal just as it was thrown and, as soon as you saw its designated target, your eyes flashed gold. The dagger slowed its path as you, for whatever reason, found yourself at Wilbur's side in a spur of a second and instinctively pushed him out of the way. You both hit the ground with a thud while you heard worried gasps and murmurs accompanied by the sound of a slash. Wilbur, still dumbfounded, stared as the dagger imbeded itself in the chair he was on mere seconds ago. The sound of hurried footsteps met your ear, the gaurds seizing the man responsible. Wilbur's surprised eyes found yours while yours was still on the dagger. You found Phil staring at you worriedly but he knew not to jump in at this moment, you had just saved the prince's life, albeit putting your own one slightly at risk, but saved it nonetheless.

"Wilbur," you heard the king's concerned voice, making both you and Wilbur scramble to stand up. The king checked Wilbur for any fetal damage but ended up with none.

"You saved my boy's life" he turned to you and you immediately felt all the attention on you. You wished you could smirk in that prat's face, for his 'I can handle myself' bullshit but maybe, just maybe, your mind was a bit more occupied from recent events.

"Gratitude must be repaid" you shook your head at once. No, watching Wilbur's pissed off face in a couple of hours after everything calmed down would be more that enough.

"Dont be so humble, this requires a special merit" the king insisted and, even before you could utter a word, he continued.

"Henceforth, you shall be Prince Wilbur's personal servant" your eyes widened. Sorry, what ?. Even with incredibly delvished hair, Wilbur looked more deadpanned than ever.

"Father!" Wilbur exclaimed in an offended manner but, unfortunately, the king was hearing none of it and left you both, staring at each speechless. You were just about to start jumping at eachother's throat when Phil dragged you both to the physician's quarters to check for injuries.

This whole servant thing was not going to be fun.

[echo-of-damnation]

im not feeling good so im going to rant about the book Dead Men Walking by Steve Lyons because none of my irl friends will know what im talking about and i need to get it out of my system.

apologies in advance for anyone who ends up reading this

first things first. absolutely love the funky little krieg guys. i love that they just fucked their entire sick ass planet because the loser guys on top were like " yeah nah fuck the big man who is def not a god and fuck da rules". i applaud theyre blinding loyalty. one of their best traits imo. i love their quirks of not having standard names and the absolute crippling disappointment and need to atone for a sin so hard they send theyre young off at an unnatural amount. I love their hehe dont care about casualties front everyone thinks they have but they do and will take their lives in consideration. that some of them will feel fear at running head first into an unwinnable fight and some will flee. its so. human. like deep down in their gene code, no matter how much they reproduce these soldiers, there is a part of human nature that will always and forever be there.

I enjoyed Krieg by him and wanted to see more of their silly little lives in action. (this was before the siege of vraks book came out so at the time it was just those two books and pieces of lore scoured from the internet)

now! with that said!

i went into this book excited to see my funky little gas mask guys. what i ended up getting was a weird sub plot line about my guy Gunthar and the goveners daughter (ah forbidden love. a tale as old as time) and a little bit of the funky little guys.

after shit hits the fan our boy Gunthar gets separated from his one and only and ends up drafted into the PDF and gets to hang out and do really fun things train and fight with the kriegsman who came to "help" the planet from the shit that hit the fan.

spoiler alert. it was the funny robots hitting the fan.

while there is some really good parts in the book going through some of the fights with the dkok and ol'gunt it always ended up going back and bringing up his little crush. (who we find out is all in a shit hitting the fan situation but ends up fine at the end with the guy who liked her from afar and who shows up halfway through the book and this book wasnt about them okay. it was supposed to be about my cool guys.)

we get some super cool dialog from one of the krieg colonels saying something along the lines of "you just want to use us kriegers cause you think our lives are worth less than your own peoples lives. go fuck yourself." and some great moments when we actually get to see a kriegsman without his mask and its painful how young the boy is. it was great! more of that!

at some point all of gunny's krieg friends end up dying/they peace out because they cant contain the necron threat and its up to our love sick boy and this last baby krieger to do something.

so they blow the robos the fuck up. kinda.

beby krieger sacrifices himself(who didnt see that one coming) and gunthar does his thang.

NOW. I MUST CLARIFY. I MAY BE GETTING THESE TWO EVENTS SWAPPED IN ORDER. BUT IT REALLY DOESNT MATTER TO MY RANT.

at one point, and this is were i got frustrated and its kind towards the end ish, all of the important people of the planet are getting evaced which includes the govoners daughter and the lost puppy guy she found along the way.

what happened to the gov? the krieg colonel fucking shoots him for being a little bitch colluding with the enemy. so treason.

ANYWAY, the girl and the guy are getting onto the ship to leave when op! who is in the crowd! gunthar! hes there! he finally made it back to her! now to just tell her and oh who is that man touching her? hes kinda close and is she getting comforted by him? well i guess she didnt really love our boy in the end and his whole life is crumbling down around him. whats there to live for now? guess he'll just go die.

(now that im think about it i think this all happened before they blow up the necrons)

in the end i just kept getting reminded at every turn that yes this book is about the dkok but we are never in the pov of them. we watch and interact with them through gunthar who also wont stop trying to prove himself and find the girl he liked.

im not saying romantic plotlines shouldnt have been in the book but i feel like they should have taken a backseat. i didnt want to follow around the daughter as she leads a little revolution with some slave humans against the necrons. i wanted kriegsmen. i wanted to see how they lived and fought. how they interacted with each other and those around them. its fine that we had gunthar as our guy but i wanted more of him with them. at one point he ends up seeing them as brothers and finds comfort with them and the kriegsmen also end up respecting him a lot for his efforts. that could have been built on! that is an interaction that is never really seen and it would have made the story so much more. idk. i dont want to say better but like. more cohesive?

in this conclusion i will like to say i did like the book. it had really enjoyable parts but it wasnt great. its not a book i would pick back up and read of go and recommend to someone new to the fandom. it just never felt like a krieg book. just a book with funny gas mask guys sometimes.

thank you for coming to my ted talk. if you did enjoy this word vomit of a rant please like and subscribe and hit that bell for notifications so you know when i lose my mind about another thing in warhammer that no one else cares about. idk how to end this.

sincerly,

a sick little guy

[rhaenicentpilled]

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? In order of preference: Water bottles, sodas, tea cups, (iced) coffee mugs.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Depends chocolate bars for like a bite or two, but lollipops on the go/always.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Bubblegum but cotton candy flavoured stuff.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? Quiet, too quiet.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Cans are superior, bottles and the rest make it flatter faster.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Preppy/pastel/formal personally.

7. earbuds or headphones? Airbuds 24/7, then headphones for when theyre out of charge.

8. movies or tv shows? Movies fs but some times tv shows are superior.

9. favorite smell in the summer? The sea duh!

10. game you were best at in p.e.? None, we didnt have p.e.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Bread, cheese, and milk tea.

12. name of your favorite playlist? Sounds from another planet, inspired by Japanese Breakfast album.

13. lanyard or key ring? Key chains.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? No idea actually, I’ll eat any sweet yay!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? We didn’t have those either.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? Crossed legs, or spread out.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? My underarmour sneakers

18. ideal weather? A little cloudy, breezy, with a little sun every now and then.

19. sleeping position? On my back, dont have a preference really.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? I try to have a journal but its really just note app.

21. obsession from childhood? No idea.

22. role model? None.

23. strange habits? Dk.

24. favorite crystal? Ameythest a classic.

25. first song you remember hearing? Red by TS, she’s many things but deffo was an integral part of my childhood.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Take a walk or something.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Consume copious amounts of warm drinks.

28. five songs to describe you? Right side of my neck by Faye Webster, A pearl by Mitski, Andromeda by Weyes Blood, Swang by JT, VIP by Isabella Lovestory. Don’t necessarily think theyre me but theyre fav songs.

29. best way to bond with you? Dk talk to me?

30. places that you find sacred? Places of worship.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Some corny 2000s villainess with leather and spandex.

32. top five favorite vines? Dont know ant That well, but probably oh my god they were roomates.

33. most used phrase in your phone? Idk?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? None.

35. average time you fall asleep? Depends is it weekday or weekend and whether i have class the day after.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Don’t remember.

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase my shoulder isnt built that good.

38. lemonade or tea? Depends sometimes this or that.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Cake.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Someone got their braces poke out of their cheek by their friend.

41. last person you texted? My friend.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie clears.

44. favorite scent for soap? Roses.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy, superheros, sci-fi.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Pjs.

47. favorite type of cheese? White cheese.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Strawberry because i liked them.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? YOLO.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Dk.

51. current stresses? Life lol, classes too.

52. favorite font? Times new roman.

53. what is the current state of your hands? Okay, probably need w nail trim.

54. what did you learn from your first job? Jobless.

55. favorite fairy tale? Dk.

56. favorite tradition? Dk.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? A panic disorder maybe but did i overcome it who knows.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? None.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Oh my fucking god.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Shoujo lol.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Don’t remember anything front of my mind.

62. seven characters you relate to? Kendall Roy, Alicent Hightower, Guillermo de la Cruz, Louis de Pointe du Lac, idk who else lol.

63. five songs that would play in your club? Now thats a good question, Figueroa by Megan Thee Stallion, Oh by JT, Nasty by Tinashe, Get It Sexyy by Sexyy Red, VIP by Isabella Lovestory.

64. favorite website from your childhood? Probably those dress up ones.

65. any permanent scars? Yeah some from falls or siblings fights.

66. favorite flower(s)? Maybe roses, maybe lilies, maybe daisies idk im not that informed

67. good luck charms? My own self :).

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Dk.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Dk.

70. left or right handed? Right.

71. least favorite pattern? Colored checkers.

72. worst subject? Math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? Chocolate and something spicy maybe.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 5.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? Dk.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Anything potatoes are all good to me.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I would love to grow a herb.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Sushi from grocery stores, because ive tried it snd its not bad!

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? No driver id but my school id and actual idk are the same and theyre both bad.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Earth tones.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies.

82. pc or console? Console.

83. writing or drawing? Writing.

84. podcasts or talk radio? Talk radio reminds me of hearing them young but i would probably now lean towards podcasts.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Barbie.

85. fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales.

86. cookies or cupcakes? Cookies.

87. your greatest fear? Death.

88. your greatest wish? World peace.

89. who would you put before everyone else? Myself, who else is worth it?

90. luckiest mistake? Dk.

91. boxes or bags? Bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Sunlights, lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights.

93. nicknames? Roro.

94. favorite season? Winter.

95. favorite app on your phone? Spotify or TikTok.

96. desktop background? On my ipad its just flowers.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? Mum, 2 of dads, mine thats it.

98. favorite historical era? Islamic golden age maybe, victorian too every history is great.

weird asks that say a lot

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood?

22. role model?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

25. first song you remember hearing?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

29. best way to bond with you?

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

35. average time you fall asleep?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

41. last person you texted?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

47. favorite type of cheese?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

55. favorite fairy tale?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?

71. least favorite pattern?

72. worst subject?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

98. favorite historical era?

[onmymasa22]

Anything thats meant for u will be urs.

I grew up with this idea and it's decently imbedded in my soul from generations ago that survived the holocaust- don't complain cuz nobody wants to hear it. Sometimes i think that its a gift that im really not a complainer and i usually see everything as awesome. And then sometimes i feel like its a curse where i desperately need to work on speaking up about not being ok. It doesnt come naturally to me at all. I still dont know how to do it, but lately ive tried to say stuff like "just so u know, im on the edge of breaking right now" so they know to be gentler with me that day or they understand what that look is in my eyes and they dont freak out if i start crying... i dont know, just some thoughts, dont mind me... i feel like it takes a certain amount of talent to be both awesome and falling apart at the same time... like, life shouldnt work like that, that makes no sense, but that sums up the last month for me. I felt awesome and spiraling at the same time. Life is weird man. But yah, thats the honest truth. U know whats also weird, every year for the past whils have different themes... my first year of college was all about art. I took a million pictures of the assignments i did and had a blast with it. The next year was all about traveling Europe, to all the best countries ive wanted to see. Last year was all about friends, seeing them, being with them, enjoying life with them. With all the people we lost from the war, i pushed myself to enjoy life for the people who couldnt, to enjoy everything from little things to big things. This year i feel like its my most vulnerable year. The year where i have grown up enough to be vulnerable and honest with the people around me. It feels like a journey because when we're little we feel like we need to hide things in order to be liked. Ur not aloud to cry, not aloud to have family drama, not allowed to be messy, not allowed to say wjat u think, not allowed to exist. Not allowed to be too much of a girl, not allowed to be too much of a tomboy. And its it nice to say "well i was just me as a kid, i had my friends and i didnt really care what other people thought. Im not angry at people, gd will deal with them i dont need to. Im just vulnerable.

I feel like its a good thing that the song joe dimaggios card wasnt around during the holocaust. Cuz that song just makes anyone with the

I feel like in an alternate universe where i wasnt religious,

I feel like it doesnt matter how i grow up, doesnt matter how much i like the jewish commu

I just have to say this. Im never gonna wish well for her. Not after the hours of conversation on how she trested u. Im never gonna like her. Honestly, i wish s painful death on anyone who caused u that much pain. All my loyalty rests there. I just need to be ok. I gave that rkng, it wasnt centimentak amd the aquamarinering to match the other is honestly way prettier and it matches. And i get a part of the set that ma has. Ok, so simi gets the weird set. But thf weddinv band from fifty years is meant to be snd its meant to be mine. Thats good luck for marriage. Im exhausted just from the conversation. That ring is still better. Im thf better person. They have bad taste.

So family coming together can kind of bring up difficult conversations or difficult personalities. My family tends to do things in a very straight and honest way. That's who we are. But then u have different extended members of ur family who go about things with false pretenses, taking things back, lying, just an all around false crooked way of interacting with people. So at 9pm, i just came back with sitting in the car and talking to my dad about how to deal with these deal and how to feel. And i just came to the conclusion that some people are like besuel or lavan. It feels exactly like dealing with either of them. And outcomes are outcomes. People who are killed would have still died. But the people who murder are punished and deal with consequences. Coming up with a punishment is above my paygrade to do. People who act dishonestly will be punished in the way that they're supposed to. And we will recieve what we are supposed to for being the bigger person over and over. Cheri simi and avrumi r besuel. U r besuel. Thats it. I will still be curtious. Because thats who i am. But the better person wins. Besuel had his poison in the end.

out punishments are above my

Sometimes having extended family over for pesach means dealing with different complicated interactions, and after a debriefing convo with my dad in the car about how we are supposed to swallow all of it, this is what we came up with

Sometimes there will be people in ur life who do things that u find disgusting. And u think about it and ur just like- man, they are a Besuel, or a Lavan. So dishonest, so not straight, trickery, false pretenses. And u might feel like nice guys finish last. How can i go on being the bigger person when they keep acting this way. And my answer is- they are who they are. And to call a spade a spade, they're Besuel. But the end game would be the same. What's shitty is the way went about it. But everything thats meant for u, in the end, will be yours. And in the end, they will get punished for handeling thei interaction with u crookedly. And u will b who u r, with all ur integrity, honestly, and straight shooter-ness and u will get rewarded for it. Thats how life goes.

U know when u look at ur family and

Im really lucky with my immediate family. They are all the straightest people with the most integrity a human can have, and there is noone kinder than them. And sometimes i just witness their interactions and think, man im so proud that thats my dad. Or man, im so proud thst thats my mom, or brother, or whatever. I learn so much from them.

Sometimes i feel like ur not the only person to be ok. Even if noone knows whst ur journey is, its still ur journey and nothimg to be ashamed of. U r u. And ur life is beautiful. Even if ur not in all the pictures. Even if ur not the most amazing world. I dont need all of this. Im just a good person. Thats it. Im friends with dovid fir years. Just keep on being u cuz the right person will see the beauty of u. Not only who u r and fall in love with everything about u, but tell u in a way u love how u can b better. Ur person will just love everything about u. Itll be such an uncontrollable feeling.

I dont know about u, but i have dreams where something bad happens thats connected to my life and the end of my dream is literally me yelling at myself. And then i take that lesson to real life. Thats what made me go to see a psychologist for a few weeks, it made me stop making a stupid decision over and over. All from me yelling at mem

U need to act in a way that reflects you. If u know urself and know that u have integrity, that ur honest, a straight shooter, an upstanding human and u r the bigger person, then ur actions need to reflect that. Because some people do things that will leave u totally disgusted. Maybe they'll tell u that u dont belong. Or make u feel like u dont have a place. Or taking back something that they gave you. Or lie to get their way. Just know, that whole thing is Besuel or Lavan. But that's not u. And everyone will be judged accordingly and its not ur job to do it. U just have to keep trying to figure out how to be straight and like you in the interaction with crooked people. And thats npt easy. But u need to keep urself on a short leash of truth

My familys sense of humor- my mom makes my grandfather coffee. And were sitting at the table.

My mom: so hows the coffee?

Pa: a hundred percent

My mom: u sure, theres .

[borderlinebabys-blog]

Just a ramble...

Temu things came in and the normal hit of dopamine I get opening the package didn't happen. It may just be because I'm down a bit today...I don't know but I'll probably take a break from ordering things other than maybe getting a few Christmas presents for other people.

My boyfriends daughter has been doing some sketchy stuff lately when it comes to food. We caught her putting some of the food she didn't want into a baggie to try and hide it from us, we also have an app on her phone that monitors everything and she told a few people that she didn't eat breakfast or dinner a couple of days last week. I think she was just saying that for attention tbh because I didn't find the food that she claims she didnt eat anywhere but we all know how easy it is to be sneaky like that when needed. Today when she got home from school I saw on the nanny cam that she took something out of her lunchbox and hid it under her stuffed animal. Im not entirely sure what it was but if she tries to put more food in the baggie later during dinner we will have no choice but to either confront her or make everyone eat dinner together so we can make sure she actually eating it. Anyway, I will be keeping a close eye on her around meal times for a bit to make sure shes not following in my footsteps...

I am extremely irritable today. Part of which is due to being very very hungry. Im also just fed up with my life. We were supposed to be getting rid of the kittens today but the person who wanted to take both of them decided she no longer wanted them. My boyfriend messaged some of the other people who were interested but hasn't heard back. I responded with something along the lines of "ugh...I need them gone" (I haven't been able to sleep very well lately due to them) and my boyfriend got kind of snappy with his response when I said this...I know I'm probably just reading too much into it but I hate when he gets grouchy at me like that. Also I'm SICK of him just doing nothing when he is home. There is so much that needs to be done, only things that he can do, and every time he is home he just sleeps, plays his damn video games, and complains that he sick or tired. Then he gets mad at me when I try to push him to actually do something. I'm getting really tired of his shit, getting tired of pretty much having no support when it comes to things involving HIS son or the house/animals. I've been wanting to leave for a while but days like today just push me closer and closer to walking out the door. I need to get my anxiety under control so that I can actually go out and meet people. I am currently talking to someone that I like and he likes me, wants me to move in with him and everything. I fear that its only a matter of time before he gets tired of me saying no every time he wants to come see me or take me out. I need to be brave...Theres just so much to worry about though...ugh...

Tonight my dinner will be the other half of the acorn squash I made on Saturday and a piece of avocado toast. Today's weigh in went alright...up from last weigh in but I think this evening when I weigh in again (I do morning and evening on weigh in days) it will be what it was last weigh in or maybe even lower. Taking into consideration the amount of calories actually consumed over the last few days I should not have gained any weight. I'm holding onto hope that it was up due to food still being in my digestive tract. Honestly who knows though...maybe I need to get a little more strict with myself...

All for now I guess. Might be on later but that's doubtful.

[princessdreamie]

Divorced Billionaire Heiresses part 33

A long time not much is going on bc the grown ups have a ton of drama as usual.

Dont blame me, i got so used to the trash of the normal story that i know that things like that happen more often that we would like. And i try to avoid to write it too fanfic like. But we all can agree that most 'events' are either filler or just skippable eitherway. Unless the story parts involve your fav characters or has a story arc that is (somewhat) acceptable. In any case, you can just pretend to skip a story line or imagine something 4 yourselves. Back to the show

The wedding finally comes around and, while not as extravagant & special as E & S's was back then, it was still a nice ceremony.

Co was very happy with her orders she received from Me and Me was happy that her har work finally paid off. Fa knew to have faith in his GF so it didnt come as a surprise to him.

His boss let him attend the wedding for publicity, knowing that he will get some attention for his looks alone.

Me was not so keen about their reasons but she had not much to say in that matter.

Nonetheless, the couple enjoyed the little alone time they got b4 some bigshots offered them movie role or two.

As expected, J, K & Na arrived as guests alone. N and the rest stayed home since they have other things need taking care of. The aforementioned thing we dont care about, as a reminder.

Na was in awe seening the wedding reception and all the well dressed guests around them.

At first she worried thaat there would be reporters in the mids but C assures her that this was a private event. The only ppl she would need to be worried about are E & Se.

Once asked why that was the case, he elaborated that both had a rough ride to this place.

The wedding was held at a farm house in the country. That place had a significant place in the bride's heart so they of course they would get married here.

Problem was that E didnt like the country site that much, & Se had to wake up super early to get ready for the wedding. So thr young boy was understandable cranky.

They were not allowed to use the copter either, no matter how many times they asked the ppl living around the place.

Reason being that those aircrafts would scare their livestock. So there are quite a few farms around so he was outnumbered by a lot. Not to mention stubborn.

S went already ahead with Co to help her with the dress.

J sat on one of the tables while her husband does under the crowed and makes new connections.

Na goes back to her mom, who is already on her last nerve with K's behavior. Na talks to her mom to keep her mind of things.

Which works for the most part.

2 hours later

The guests finally took their seats as the frolm stood at the altar, waiting anxiously for his future wive.

E, who (begrudgingly) was taking the role as his best man, told him to stop fidgeting b4 he does.

Mt was grateful that his boss agreed to be part of the wedding but he wished that he would stop acting like one at his special day.

Co came around and everyone was astounded by how pretty she looked. The accessories and the dress complement her very well.

Her elderly father (Derek, De for short) took her down the aisle with a smile on his face.

He knew that Co & Mt were a great match. Much more than the previous guy could have been. So it wasn't hard to get his blessing, although the mother (Helena, H for short) was hesitant for her child's sake.

Still she was glad that Mt was a honest man, that was enough for her at least.

Once Co & Mt finally stood next to eachother the priest, an old friend of H's, started the ceremony.

Everything was fine until someone crashed the wedding.

[crystlizabeth]

Dangerously Yours.

Paring: Carl Grimes x Blackfem!Smith!Reader

Paring: Negan Smith & BlackDaughter!Reader

Summary: You two where enemies, but there was just something that drew you two each other, but a war was in the making.

Warning: cursing, mentions of childhood trauma and abuse.

A/n: Carl lives au!! And im gonna add some songs that came out not during TWD time like or after 2013 i think! This is kinda of a self insert, This might be multiple parts, I noticed its turned into a Negan Smith x Daughter reader along with Carl x reader so enjoy.

The first time you met him he caught an additude with you trying to take some batteries out of your hand, it didn’t go well for him you grabbed his wrist twisting it telling him to fuck off. There were more instances when you would go and he somehow always pissed you off but it made sense you and Carl Grimes where enemies. So where your fathers you didn’t quite know what had all happed but you did know people died, some of your people and a few of his.

Now you where on your way back to Alexandria for a pick up you went along this time to see Eden, she was a decent girl but also a girl your age it wad hard to find friends in this day in age. Eden was closed of and was always followed by the one and only one eyed grimes, but that didn’t stop you from trying to get to know her and one of those ways was music, may it be mp3, cds or even vinyls.

“I found this mix tape a while back, its a costume one and actually really good music.” You said to Eden as you walked with her towards the supply house.

“Any songs you can recognize?” She asked taking the tape from your hand.

“Not really only a few like, Elvis, Hozier, Taylor swift, i hear alot of her music in the mixes i find.” You ended with a small laugh.

“I like Taylors music, Elvis’s pretty good to” she said with a small smile.

You two shared similar music taste even rap, you two enter the supply room running into Negan, Rick, Carl and a gal with glasses.

“Lookie here, making friends are we?” Your dad asked his usual grin on his face.

“Yeah you could say just trading some music but i need some batteries.” You said shrugging your shoulders.

Rick moved out of the way as the lady with glasses handed you 4 batteries “I only need two don’t worry about it. Unless,” you look over at Eden., “you need any?” She shook her head you nodded and handed two of the batteries back to her.

“Thank you..” you spoke lightly waiting for her name.

“Oh, its Olivia.” She said she voice shaken.

“Well thank you Olivia.” You said then turning to your dad.

“Not giving her a hard time are you?”

Negan raised his eyebrow giving you a cheeky grin “Not at all this time they actually have there shit in order.” He spoke wiggling around the list in his hand.

Nodding you left with Eden heading back to the truck with Carl running behind you two.

“Eden where are you going?” He asked.

She held the bag up in her hand that was filled with music “Trading music.” She answered simply.

He didnt say anything but continued to follow you two, you could feel his eyes burning you in the back of your head he watched every move you made.

You and Eden had gone through a crate you brought she had taken out a few albums and surprise mix tapes you liked to call them. She took ‘I love you.’ The neighborhood, ‘Anti’ Rhianna, ‘AM’ arctic monkeys and ‘Lungs’ Florance and the machine. You didn’t take any from her she didn’t have many good options so you just lended them to her.

“Really you want nothing back.” Carl voiced from behind you.

Giving him a glare “yeah theres no reason for me to take what little music she has, what are you even doing here doing you had somthing better to do cyclops.”

He glared at you “good to know your an asshole like your dad.” He spat back, he didnt appreciate the nickname but you weren’t a fan when he called you a bitch last week so your really didn’t give two shits.

“At least my dad doesn’t stand around like a bitch between his legs last time I checked you did the dirty work.” You said walking past him.

He turned to say something only for his dad to stop him. You only scoffed turning away.

A few weeks later you saw him again but this time he came by one of the trucks, he shot a few of your fathers men. When that whole mess was cleaned up Laura came and got you saying ‘your dad needs your help.’

You walked down the hall meeting Your Dad, Carl and Daryl out side on the little balcony. Carl didn’t have his bandage on this time covering his eye, Carl put his head was down after meeting your eyes.

“Whats up?” You asked.

Negan smiled “I need a favor Sweetheart, Carl here needs a little tour but i need to fix some shit the he fucked up. Keep and eye on him yeah?” He spoke looking at Carl.

“Sure just us or..?”

“Just you two, get to know each other and dont kill him, I for one actually like him unlike you.” He said laughing a little knowing the tension between you both.

“If he keeps the attitude to a minimum.. personally not a fan of it unlike you.” You say crossing your arms moving more of you weight to one side of your body.

With that they left leaving you and Carl by the railing watching over the workers, a few kids running around playing with one another.

“Is he actually your dad?” Carl asked breaking the silence. You weren’t surprised why he asked you, you two didn’t look alike and many obvious aspects.

You looked at him, his eye focused on you looking you up and down and searching for any kind of reaction. You watched as his eyes finally met yours again.

“No..” you said admitting it to him.

He tilted his head a little as a way of say ‘What’.

“He found me at the beginning of this, what about 3 years ago? Put it simply my biological father left me to fend for myself, fucked up right?” You said walking towards a stair way sitting down on the steps.

Carl stared down at you, looking up at him through your curls letting a laugh out from the look if his face.

“Are you serious..” he asked sitting down with you.

You looked over at him, “Yeah but my father had never actually been a good person. He was far from a good parent. He was a selfish, abusive man, he wasn’t fit for kids non the less 3 girls.”

Carl seemed interested. “You have Sisters?”

“Had.”

“Oh, sorry I didn’t know.” He said.

You leaned back on the stairs “Why would you? We aint friends.”

He nodded turning his head looking straight. He seemed vulnerable almost. But so where you you just opened up, trauma dumped to some guy you haven’t been able to stand for months. But in that moment there was a kind if peace and understanding.

“Why did you stick around after knowing all the bad things he’s done?” Carl asked looking back at you.

“All the bad.. nobody is good or bad. Especially in this, it survival.” You scoffed, he tried to makes his people out to be what they weren’t.

“He killed good people, friends, one of them had a kid on the way!”

You looked at him your eyes nerow slightly “Your little group took out an whole outpost of more than 50 people. Many of them had family and one of the women there was carrying a child.” You spoke sharply.

“Your people, your friends aren’t so clean of blood. Nor are you.” You finished harshly.

He did say anything else. Only looked back at his hands fidgeting with them in irritation.

He knew you where right, but he also knew you weren’t clean of blood either nobody was. There is no good or bad anymore just survivors.

You both eventually got up and you showed him around. How things work, people had jobs they earned money and they got what they need. That this was our normal, even you worked did chores to earn your keep.

You two continued to talk to each other, getting to know each other you never talked about either of your peoples. There was a spark for only knowing him and hating him for the past few months he understood you. They way his eyes lingered on you as you talked how he took in every word you where saying. What was that feeling that lingered as he left the feeling of wanting to see him again.

As weeks went by you two spoke over walkies, nit the safest options but it worked. You hadn’t let anyone this close since Negan, funny how you wanted nothing to do with this boy but now you did. He made you laugh over stupid things, gave you good advice as you did with him. He heard you cry for the first time, you even snuck out to see him one time showing him a little abandoned house by the river it was the first time in long time you both had fun.

He was feeling it two, his heart fluttered at the way you smiled, how he always held eye contact taking in the sight of you as it may be the last. You did the same but he never caught you looking at him like the way he did you. The hard truth you knew was that you two are enemies, maybe not you two but your Dads, your people.

But then shit hit the fan.

You didn’t get trapped in a sanctuary when they attacked the place, you watched as the walkers surrounded the building the echos of gun shots rang through your ears as you watched in horror as rick started to shot him down.

The only thing you could do is try and reach a different outpost. Warn them, but then you where caught.

He didn’t look familiar which scared you even more, you quicky grabbed your knife cutting his arm. He let go of you making you fall back only for someone else to grab you.

“The little bitch cut me!” The one man yelled you turned around quickly ready to strike again thats when you saw Rick and Daryl.

Your heart dropped, you where surrounded. Rick took a step toward you his hands visible “Dont Fucking come near me!” You yelled.

Rick put is gun down on the ground “Relax I don’t wanna hurt you.” His voice was calm.

“Then fuck off!”

“Where are you gonna go.” Daryl spoke.

You eyes shot over to him, you didn’t answer him. He was right though where were you gonna go, to an outpost you didn’t even know where it was at.

“Y/n we just wanna help you. I told Carl you wouldn’t get hurt.” Rick said.

Why would that matter?

“Please. Just come with us.”

You just looked at him, dumfounded.

Was it stupid yes, but you went with them handing over your weapons and walked to the gates. As they open they looks you got looks of horror from them. Rick pulled on my arm slightly letting go when I flinched. He took me into a house there sat a few people talking about what to do next.

But the all stop once their eyes landed on me.

“Sit.” Daryl said pointing at the couch his tone serious.

You where scared what did they want with you what was their plan, why where you not dead, locked up. You picked at your finger s peeling the skin off them drowning out everything around you. What the fuck is happening.

A hand fell on both of your hands you quickly looking up you saw him. His face filled with concern, he spoke but you never heard what he said the way he brows frowned trying to reach you. You began to break as both of his hand touched your arms squeezing them slightly wanting and answering out of you.

“Why am I here...” your voice tender and cracked.

“I..” Carl started but never finished he just looked at you.

“Why the hell am I here.” You asked again.

He took a deep breath “Help us end this.”

You stared at him, help them, help them. Why would you help them.

“Get away from me… Get AWAY.” You shouted pushing him away.

He stood back as you stood up, your hands gripping harshly on your hair.

“Your fucking kidding me right?! What makes you think I would help you, help these people! You know how crazy you sound.” You slightly laugh the frustration in your voice very clear. These people wanted your help. They just destroyed the only place you called home.

“Please Y/n, please.. hear us out.” Carl said.

“Your acting a fool, you just attacked my people, my home! Theres more than just Negan in there theres kids! Family, old people! What the fuck is wrong with you guys!” You yelled. “And- and you know that.. you saw it, so did he!” You finished pointing at Daryl.

They all knew that.

“What makes you think you can trust me anyway? What it your head makes you think I wouldn’t betray you.” You said your arms falling to your sides.

“Because your the one that let me out of that cell, made sure I had a clear way out.” Daryl spoke up.

You looked at him, he knew.

“And I trust you.” Carl said. “They may not but you help out friend and you’ve earned my trust, my respect.”

You shook your head, you wanted to cry, to cry like a little kid. Carl came to you again slowly pulling you in for a slight hug. Something sincere he cared for you he may have only truly known your for few weeks but he wanted you safe but with that came a cost. The talks over that walkie you had with him you could careless who herd them. Carl had fallen for a girl who he couldn’t have with out a cost.

“Y/n your something to believe In again, you could change things. Help your people.” Rick spoke.

You wanted to help your people, they deserved it they deserved to be safe. To have a life beyond the sanctuary. Alexandria was a safe place but so was your home they where good people in there people who don’t know how to protect themselves.

“But you’ll have to go behind, Negan. Lie to him.” Michonne finished.

Your head snaped at her, “I cant, i… i wont! I’ll just lie to you tell him your plans.” You said trying to get them to not believe you.

“If you do you’ll only hurt yourself…”

For my people.. but the cost was to betray a man who would do anything for you. You caught Carls eye he gave you a pleading look. He practically begged you with that look, betray your Dad for a boy.. for a boy and peace between people.

“If i betray you, I hurt myself.. if i betray my people, my family, I betray my dad, my dad is very important to me..”

“More important than your people and peace dont you want more for those family’s. For us.” Carl said, him whispering the last part only for you to hear.

For us..

You wanted that more than anything..

“Okay..”

So you helped them, you got back in through a old drain the led into the basement, you knew people would have noticed you where gone or maybe not.

When you saw Simon and Dwight they nodded at you figured you where out hidden in your room. Stupid men.

But you also knew Dwight was working with them as well, he was a traitor too.

Days had passed they finally cleared the walkers out. The plan was to attack hilltop but there was a twist, Negan on the other hand didn’t want you to have any part of it he stated “I need you here, with out people.” So you stayed.

You stayed back with your people started cleaning up putting things back together, when they came back your dad wasn’t to be seen.

“Wheres my dad?” You asked walking up to simon, he shared a look with Dwight looking back at you.

“Someone ran him off the road, all we found was blood when we finally found his car…” Simon said his tone quiet.

All you could do was stare at him “what.. is he.”

They nodded, the two men shared a look again.

Something isn’t right. They’re lying, they gotta be he couldn’t just be killed that easily.

After that Simon took charge, he seemed pleased with himself it was sickening. He bossed everyone around hell even threatened you that if you didn’t keep your mouth shut there would be ‘consequences’. It was just crazy to you, how easily he forgot his place.

But even now you had a job. So you did it you told them what happened leaving a note in the woods for them to find.

When you got back, There stood Negan. He turned to look at you giving you a smile.

“Hiya Sweetheart, how ya been.” His voice sweet giving you a hug.

“They said you where dead.” You said in a whisper only for him to hear.

He nodded looking at you back to Simon who was staring you down. You already knew he was fucked but lets make it worse, not here though. Negan wanted to talk anyway.

You sat on the couch in his room waiting for him, he startled you out of your trace as he placed his hand on the side if your head kissing you on the top of the head.

“Now tell me what the shit has he all done..?” He asked coming around sitting next to you.

“He pretty much took over your place bossing people around, and that attack on hilltop went south from what I heard, oh! He also threatened me” you said.

He turned his head to look at me. “ Do I dare ask what he said..” his voice went dark the look he held could kill.

You told him you may have exaggerated it a bit but you could careless the son of a bitch deserved it. His actions has consequences.

After that conversation you just sat there with him your head laying on his shoulder your arms wrapped around his arm.

“Im sorry..” you spoke softly, you could feel your throat swell up as you hold back tears.

“Its not your fault, Princess..” its been a minute since he’s called you princess, hell you where. You may not be his blood but your the only child he’s ever had, you where his daughter, his little girl.

The day finally came, but you weren’t standing with them you stood with Carl not your Father. The sound of that familiar call rang through your ears as everyone raised there gun.

“Well damn Rick, lookie here.” Negans voice echoed through a radio.

“Pegged again, pegged so very hard.”

Everyone moved around looking for them “ I ambushed your ambush with an even bigger ambush.” You could hear a slight chuckle after.

“Why don’t you step out and face us!” Rick yelled out as he looked around looking for any kind of movement.

“Oh I am everywhere Rick.” He said.

You closed your eyes settling your breath you felt a hand on your back, opening your eyes looking to you left you saw carl. He gave you a nod trying to give you some kind of comfort. You could hear Negan he went on talking about Eugene and Dwight, going to to Gabriel. Then he said your name.

“Where is my daughter because I would love to know. Kind fucked up how your little psycho of a son came in one day and now my daughter is gone. You happen to know anything about that.” His voice was serious, you had been gone since yesterday.

Rick looked back at you, you shook your head telling him not to say a word.

“But here we go, congratulations Rick.” Was the last thing he said before he started a count down.

They came out starting to fire only for their weapons to back fire on them.

Every thing happend to fast.

Soon enough they had surrendered, the saviors where on their knees hands in the air. Rick and Negan ran off, you looked around for them Carl and Rosita following behind me a little.

You finally got up to the hill you saw them standing in-front of each other talking, Negans face fell looking like he was going to cry at what Rick said. For a moment they stood there. Then it happened.

“NO!” You screamed, you went to run towards them only for Rosita to grab you holding you tightly.

“NO YOU LIER! YOU SAID YOU WERNT GONNA KILL HIM!” You Sobbed, struggling against Rosita and she tried calming you down.

“You fucking Lier! Please he’s all i have, please.” You begged your body slightly collapsing in Rositas Arms Carl came in front of you helping Rosita turn you so you did have to see him bleed out.

“You fucking people lied. I trusted you.” You cried.

“I didn’t know, Y/n I didn’t know.” Carl said his hands cupping your face making you looks at him.

Your sobs continue, As you fell into his arms. Rosita let go of you only staying behind you. The only thing in the field you could hear was you sobbing, Carls gentle tone trying to calm you. His hand gently rubbing your back, your hands covered your face your head resting on Carls shoulder.

“Save him.”

You pushed of Carls shoulder looking up. The widow started to do the same thing you had just done, Michonne holding her back as she yelled at rick, begging him to keep Negan dead.

“We have to make it right.” Maggie sobbed.

A year had now passed, you hadn’t been able to see Negan they wouldn’t let you. But what they did do it tell him that you had helped them, not by much but you did.

“Why would they do that..” you asked, Carl looked up at you.

“In not sure.. ask my dad why he did.” He said, you only glared at him.

“Common babe, you cant hold that anger with him forever especially that your my girlfriend.” He laughed slightly standing up from the step turning to you pulling you up.

“Its called a grunge, and yeah I can. They go on telling Negan i betrayed him and i don’t even get to explain my self to him.” You spoke the irritation in your voice quite visible.

Carl sighed, “I know Y/n..” he pulled you in by your hands.

“Talk to Michonne, you like her at lest.” Carl said giving you a kiss.

So you where gonna do just that but first you had to find her. When you did she was with Judith on the porch Rosita with her. Rosita gave you a smile as she left.

Michonne looked at you giving you a small smile “Hi Y/n how are you?” She said.

“Im fine but i have a question.” You spoke, she nodded letting you continue.

“Why wont you let me see him” befor she could speek you cut her off “I know i ask this way to often but you told him everything i could attest give him an exclamation, you just letting him believe that what i did was for the worst, so please. Wouldn’t you want Carl to tell you if that had happened to him not just to stay quiet and believe he did it to hurt you.” You finished.

Michonne signed “You’ll have five minutes.”

Your face light up “Thank you, Thank you!”

She grabbed Judith giving her to a friend as she walked you to the basement, Carl and Rosita followed you two and you walked down the stairs she told you to wait.

“You have a Visitor.” She said before waving you in.

It was dark but you could see him, and he looked like shit. “Five minutes.” Michonne said walking over to the door keeping it open but she walked up them.

The silence between you two lingered for a minute, after all that begging you couldn’t get your self to say anything but when he did your heart dropped.

“Well kid, hows your new life, boyfriend, freedoms.” He said harshly.

“I-its fine, can I explain..” you said.

He stood up moving to the bars looking at you. “What that you stabbed me in the back yeah I got that.”

“Dont be a dick-”

“Really your gonna call me the dick?” He scoffed.

“I never meant you any harm i wanted what was best for our people.” You said softly.

He didn’t say anything, his eyes never left you but he was mad and he had every right to be. You had all of his trust, he would’ve done anything for you and you betrayed him. Everything he had done for you was thrown out the window after that stunt those 4 years were practically all for nothing.

“I know your mad at me and you have every right to be, I just wanted our people to see more the kids in the sanctuary to have more of a life beyond that, here those kids have a playground more people to become friends with.” You said, you watched as he turned around midway through you talking, he didn’t want to look at you.

You took a breath in bitting your lip to stop you self from crying, you crossed your arms holding your self in a hug.

“I haven’t seen you in a year man common say something, yell at me something anything.” You spoke in a whimper your lip trembling.

Nothing.

“Please don’t hate me.” Your tears fell down your cheeks.

“Your all i have left to family, I never thought I would call someone dad again let alone a man that actually cared for me..” you cried out your head falling down looking that the floor.

The tears continue to fall down your face making your cheeks glisten. He was your dad, maybe it was a cycle with you to make them hate you at some point.

“I don’t hate you, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to hate you.” He said quietly not turning around.

“Then why wont you look at me..” you asked not even sure if you wanted to know the answer.

He sighed deeply turning around “That better?”

You nodded not sure what to say next, things may never be the same again but you do know that is he doesn’t hate you, you didn’t have to worry about the fear of him never wanting to see you again.