#I regularly let it impact my actual house chores doing but you know

[nullians]

I sometimes still catch myself thinking “Man, I just wanna die” (I know this is not true) but then I see my mother and go “No, I just wanna live without these people around me” and then I do one dig deeper and make peace with what I really mean and that’s “I have to outlive you because I fucking deserve to have a life outside of this bullshit” and yeah. Much better. It doesn’t help that both of them (grandmother and mother) like to occasionally tell us their dying scenarios. Like. Thanks. Can you like. Try to not make my desire to flee worse. Because I don’t want to wish you death but it’s like. Not going to get better if you just do this. Get help.

[lolita-tips]

Where have I been?

I originally wrote this up as a script intended for a youtube video explaining where I’ve been and why I haven’t been keeping up with things very well but I haven’t been able to bring myself to get in front of a camera. I thought I would at least make it into a post to sort of give you all an idea of what’s going on. I’ll put it all under a read-more though since it turned out pretty long.

Hi, I’m Averie. I’m 26 years old and I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about my life lately. I’ve been running Lolita Tips for eight years now but in the last year or so I’ve been a bit removed from it, definitely more than I’d like to be and I sort of feel guilty about it. I keep trying to tell myself that I shouldn’t feel bad, but it’s important to me and there are a lot of people I feel like I’m letting down by not posting more regularly. I guess I just want to talk a bit about where I’ve been and what I’ve been going through. 

Last year I officially moved out of my parents’ place and into my boyfriend’s house. Really it was his parents’ house and for the first few months we actually lived here with them which was a bit of a nightmare for a while, but as of April we’ve officially taken on the mortgage and they moved to Florida. When I moved in I started my first ever full-time job and it has really tested me. It’s nowhere near what I’d like to be doing with my life but as they say, it puts food on the table. I’m a claims adjuster for an auto insurance company which means my job consists of sitting in a cubical making phone calls all day and paying people to fix their cars after accidents. This job has really been putting me under a lot of stress. First of all, I’ve always had pretty bad anxiety when it comes to making phone calls, and after over a year at this job, that still hasn’t changed. Having to spend most of my day doing something that makes me so anxious leaves me really drained by the end of it. Add to it the facts that a lot of the people I have to talk to are in a bad mood, often times I’m calling to give them bad news (“You’re at fault for this accident”, “Your car is a total loss,” etc.), and I’m handling over 100 claims at any given time. So most of the time all I want to do when I get home is lay on the couch and do nothing. I wish I was in a position right now to quit this job but I’ve searched up and down for something else and there’s just nothing close to me that would make any sort of financial sense.

When I do have days where I feel like I can actually get something done, a lot of my time is spent working on the house. As I said before, we bought this house from my boyfriend’s parents and it was pretty dated. I’m someone who likes old things, I collect antiques and often dress in vintage styles, but dingy carpet from the 80s and floral wallpaper that’s probably even older aren’t exactly our taste. So we’ve been taking on a lot of home improvement projects and a lot of the time we sort of feel like we’ve bitten off more than we can chew, particularly when it comes to our budget and stamina. As artsy as I may be, I’ve learned that I hate painting walls so even though we started in December, our living room is only about a third of the way painted. I’m also learning that one of the biggest struggles of being a homeowner is just keeping up with the mess, especially with a dog and two cats, all of whom shed like crazy. And it would be easier if we could do all of this together, but my boyfriend and I have such different work schedules that it’s rare for us to have a same day off to work together. It also just seems like this house has one problem after another. A few months ago we had a leak and had to replace the roof. Now our basement is flooding and we have to tear out the walls of what is supposed to become our craft room. It’s hard to make the house beautiful when you keep having to spend all your resources making it functional.

Everything that has been going on in my life has left me feeling very overwhelmed. It may not seem like a lot from the outside, but when your head is constantly full of “Paint this, sweep this, scrub this, shit I forgot to send that check, how many boxes do I still have to unpack? Is this ours or his parents? Did I schedule an appraiser to look at that car? Holy shit the garden is overgrown where did all these weeds come from I swear we just pulled them out a week ago!” It’s daunting. And it has really had a negative impact on my mental health. I thought my life was going to be grand when I moved out of my parents’ house! I was going to be close to a big city, living with the person I love, and finally feeling like a real adult. But this really is more than I bargained for. It feels like all I really did was trade in the stress and anxiety of a long-distance relationship for the stress of a terrible job and a house that still doesn’t feel like my own. People keep telling me things like “That’s life!” and “Welcome to adulthood!” but I know adulthood isn’t all suffering! I know plenty of adults who have jobs they love and free time to  do stuff that makes them happy, but I feel like I’m stuck in an endless cycle of five-day work weeks, evenings where I’m too depressed and tired to leave the couch, and weekends where I try to cram in as many chores as possible. And thinking about it makes me more depressed! I studied theatre in college, I wanted to be a playwright, I STILL want to be a playwright. I also want to own an antique store, make and sell clothes, travel the country working renaissance faires, any number of things would make me happy; but it feels like any time I have some time to work toward one of my dreams there’s always something more important. 

A few months ago I went to a convention in Pittsburgh. It was the first time I’ve worn Lolita in a long time and it was exciting because there were going to be some big Lolita guests. I told myself I was going to face my fears. I was going to introduce myself to members of my new local Lolita community for the first time since moving here, but I came to the con by myself and the longer it went on, the more alone I felt. I thought it would be great going to all the panels I wanted to see and not basing my schedule on anyone else, but seeing everyone with their friends having a good time brought all these ugly thoughts into my head. I thought, “I’ll never be able to have close Lolita friends like that”, “I’ll never be able to make a living doing the things I love like these designers and Youtubers”, “What kind of Lolita blogger am I if I can’t even go up to other lolitas and introduce myself?” At one point after a panel I went to the bathroom and I heard a group of lolitas whos voices and names I recognized come in. All at once my brain was flooded with “Not good enough”s. I’m not pretty enough, my coord isn’t cute enough, I can’t possibly go out there and interact with these queens. So I locked myself in the stall and waited until everyone left while I cried quietly.

A few hours later there was another lolita panel that was a lot of fun and I had a good laugh and actually sort of felt like I was part of something for a moment. But after that was the J-fashion social. I spent all day trying to convince myself to be brave and not let my anxiety get the better of me, but that was a battle that I quickly lost. I went out onto one of the balconies of the convention center, pacing back and forth while I tried to gather my courage, but the “not good enough”s just came flooding back and I cried harder than I had cried in a long time. The meetup came and went in a panel room behind me as I stared into the night sky of the city that didn’t know I existed. No friends to comfort me, boyfriend at another convention working a booth, and family hours away. I felt completely and utterly alone. But that night I told myself that I was going to make a change. Something, anything, to make my life better.

I know that I can’t cure my depression, or my anxiety. I know that there’s something wrong with my brain and that I’m always going to have bad days and good days, but I also know that I at least owe it to myself to try and turn things around. I may be depressed, but I’d rather be depressed and do things that I love than allow things to continue on the way they have been. After all, I’m the most important person in my life. Nobody will ever be more fundamental to my own happiness than myself.  

I can’t exactly say that I have a plan, but I can say that I’ve been trying. I’ve actually spent a lot of time lately rediscovering things that once brought me joy that I fell out of for one reason or another. For example, I’ve recently started listening to My Chemical Romance again. I remember listening to them as a moody teen who just wanted to seem dark and edgy but going back and listening to the same songs as an adult hits me in a different way. They’re so full of emotion and passion and words that my mind likes to cling to like “I am not afraid to keep on living.” I also recently started watching the Vlog Brothers again. Their channel and pretty much everything they were part of were huge influences on me in high school and early in college so I was really happy to see that they’re still doing stuff. They always help me to remember that even though the world may be a big dumpster fire right now, there are still good people doing good things and there are still a lot of things worth living for. I’ve been working a lot on bettering my life in a lot of ways; I’ve been trying to embrace the Konmari method while working on our house and I’ve been watching a lot of youtube channels about being better with money and spending a lot of time watching ASMR to just try and relax. 

I still have a long way to go, and I know I’m still going to struggle, but I’m thankful to those of you who have stuck with me and will continue to be with me on this journey. Whenever I get on tumblr and see that I still get messages in my inbox it helps me to remember that I am not entirely alone. I know this was sort of a lot, I’m not someone who normally pours my heart out like this, to be honest talking about my mental health makes me worry that I’ll come off as whiney and it makes me pretty nervous, but I felt that I owed it to all of you to explain what’s been going on and I felt that I owed it to myself to get it all out there. Thanks to all of you who have stuck with me through it all. I hope to start making changes in my life get back to making this blog something worth sticking around for.

[sage-nebula]

I finished both the main story and the postgame story of Pokémon Sword, so I figure I’ll type up a little informal review on it, if for nothing else than to have my thoughts on record.

Overall: I liked it, and think despite Game Freak’s failings, it was an improvement over both the Kalos and the Alola games.

First, just from a gameplay standpoint: While I’m still upset about the National Dex being axed, as well as upset over Mega Evolution being axed, and mad about Mimikyu being nerfed even though I knew last gen it would happen, overall gameplay improved VASTLY in this game when compared to the Alola games especially. True, your outfit is still ugly when you’re on your bike, but the music doesn’t change to something hideous, and you can use the bike to maneuver over both land and water. The curry minigame in Camp might be a bit finicky, and the play options are limited (+ I miss being able to pet my pokémon), but Camp lets all of your pokémon out at once, and they can interact with each other, and I think that’s really great. Additionally, I like the immersion of being on a journey and being able to set up camp and cook. It’s nice. Customization is far better in this game than in previous games (even if I found the perfect outfit right at the start and never changed it---though hell, that’s a bonus), I like controlling everything with the buttons rather than using a touch screen, the wild area is a lot of fun to run around in, I like having pokémon visible on the overworld . . . overall, I just find it to be an improvement over the Alola games in terms of gameplay in virtually every way. At least for me, the Alola games were not very much fun to play. I loathed the Ride music and the fact that I was using someone else’s pokémon instead of my own (and as a result had to walk everywhere since they didn’t give me a goddamn bike), the customization options were really lacking, the level balance was horrible and so grinding was an absolute chore, Refresh was annoying because your pokémon were dirty after basically every single goddamn battle and you could only tidy one of them up at a time, and so on and so forth. The Galar games aren’t perfect, but in terms of gameplay they’re a huge improvement over Gen VII and that makes me breathe a sigh of relief at least, because the most important thing about video games is that they have to be fun to play. If you’re not having fun because the mechanics are bad, there’s a problem.

As far as the story goes, it definitely had its issues, most notably in the fact that Chairman Rose’s goals were never properly explained, the cover legendaries didn’t really factor in much until the postgame, and the fact that Chairman Rose and Oleana were evil at all felt more like a “well we have to have some evil organization in here huh” than anything else---like Game Freak was trying to adhere to tradition rather than writing a villain-based story because they genuinely wanted to write one. The whole situation surrounding Macro Cosmos (a company that I keep forgetting the name of because it wasn’t mentioned until the end) makes a bit more sense to me now than when I originally finished due to reading someone else’s explanation of how Rose was a PokéVillain who had already won by the time the story starts, given that he owns and controls everything in Galar (literally, he controls the very energy they need to keep the lights on and their houses warm), and so what he does is more about maintaining that (thousands of years into the future?) than anything else. Which I get, but . . . it still makes his actual actions and motivations feel weak and poorly explained.

But despite that, as well as a few other flaws (the annoying enemy characters in the postgame, the fact that Marnie was TRAGICALLY underused), I actually did enjoy it. Despite my disdain for organized sports in real life, I liked that the Gym Challenge was set up as a tournament in which your rivals participated (and that there were many other participants, too) because finally it felt like there was a reason to go after the badges, versus doing it just because the Gyms were there and you wanted to become Champion for no reason. The fact that more and more NPCs started to take notice of you as you progressed as well is another thing I liked. Although I hated that we couldn’t customize the Gym uniform (it’s so ugly!!), I did like having a personal number (mine is 494---Victini’s National Dex number), as well as the fact that it was yet another way for the fans in the game to identify you. Not only that, but having your rivals be fellow competitors in the Gym Challenge was also a nice touch. Sure, Hop was yet another hometown friend, but the others were just fellow competitors that took notice of you, and I really enjoyed that.

Speaking of Hop and the other rivals, the characters were, I felt, by and large another improvement over Kalos and Alola games. Aside from the antagonists in the postgame (who were poorly designed and also terribly annoying), as well as Gym Leader Gordie, there aren’t any characters that I really disliked, and in fact, I found the development for most of the major ones (in particular Sonia, Bede, and even Hop) to be pretty good.

A bit more detail on that: 

Sonia: Honestly, Sonia is probably my favorite character from these games (although Marnie is a close second). I am absolutely surprised by her and how much I came to love her considering I wasn’t too interested in her before the game was actually in my hands. Sonia is set up as being a twenty-something-year-old who fancies herself her grandmother’s assistant, but honestly is just kind of languishing at the beginning of the game and doesn’t really have a clear goal---to the point where her grandmother boots her out and makes her travel the region exploring the history to learn more about the Dynamax phenomenon. (And yes, Sonia is definitely in her twenties; both she and Leon refer to themselves as adults, and these games were created in Japan, where the age of adulthood is 20. So while we don’t know their exact age, we know they’re at least over 20.) Sonia is a little miffed about this at first, but as the story goes on she becomes more and more interested in and passionate about her studies, which culminates in Professor Magnolia passing the lab coat over to her. And it was at that point I realized: Although Professor Magnolia is the official professor at the start of the game, the fact that she has absolutely no impact on the game whatsoever (or at least very minimal impact) is because the real professor of the game is Sonia. We interact with her regularly, she helps compile information about what’s going on with regards to the game’s main plot, she guides and influences both the player character and Hop, and ultimately she comes to realize her own goal and dreams. The fact that an adult character in these games got to have an arc like this---one where she wasn’t sure what to do with herself at first, but came to find her own dream and take over the lab---was absolutely wonderful to me, an adult player. Sonia was definitely a refreshing character for the series and I was so, so proud of her when she finally got her lab coat, found her goal, and started living her best life. Sonia’s brilliant and I’m a huge fan.

Hop: On a personal, personality-level, I find Hop to be kind of annoying. He’s the type of person who would wear me out quickly in real life, and I honestly would have preferred if the primary rival was Marnie instead of him (since I feel him eating up so much screentime is part of why Marnie got shafted---but more on that later). But that said, I feel like Hop was Hau done right, that his character arc was well-written, and I love that we see him finally step out of the shadows and find his own path at the end of the postgame story. Hop, like Hau, has a famous relative that he looks up to and wants to surpass one day. But Hop, unlike Hau, also takes his training seriously from the start, struggles and shifts through various strategies as he tries to figure out what it is that he should do rather than just sticking to the same thing and hoping that it produces a different result, and ultimately concludes that he can do something different with his life, that he can change fields and make a name for himself his own way, without having to live up to expectations of what others think of him, or what his brother has done. While Hop resembles past rivals in the series in various ways (e.g. Barry’s impatience, Hau’s famous relative), he also sets himself apart by having a clear and defined character growth arc, culminating in his capture of the other mascot legendary and his newly appointed position as Sonia’s research assistant. I’m not personally a big fan of Hop’s, but as a character I think he was well done and I don’t dislike him either. At the very least, he easily tramples all of Kalos’ rivals (not that that’s hard, since the Kalos Friend Group is the most annoying set of rivals the series has ever seen), and I like him more than Hau as well. (The fact that Hop doesn’t delegitimize child abuse the way Hau does in USUM is a big point in his favor.)

Bede: On the other hand, I love everything about this little shithead. I love that we finally, FINALLY have a jerkass rival for the first time since Gen IV. I love that even after his character development (which he gets!) he doesn’t stop being a jerkass, he just becomes slightly less of one. (Very slightly.) While it was touched upon only a little, I like that the reason why he’s such a little asshole is because of how Rose and Oleana were using him (Oleana is the one that gets blamed, but it was Rose who gave Bede his first pokémon and endorsed him, and then later in Hulbury acted like he didn’t even know who Bede was, thereby implying that Bede feels that he has to work extra hard to gain Rose’s approval and attention), and that once he was taken in by a good guardian (Opal), he improved not only as a trainer, but as a person. It was so great to see Bede finally happy near the end of the game, once Opal took him in, and also great that even though he was a little shit to everyone around him, he also treated his pokémon well (and thus wasn’t a “he’s an asshole so he uses his pokémon as tools!” type). Bede’s great. I love Bede.

Marnie: I also love Marnie, though as I’ve said numerous times, she was critically underused. Despite the fact that her older brother is a Gym Leader, Marnie has pretty much no impact on the plot, barely shows up at all, doesn’t appear in the postgame story at all (even though she’s a Gym Leader now!), and overall feels like she’s just sort of . . . there. This frustrates me not only because I love what little we do see of her (the fact that she has a south London accent is already a huge plus in her favor, along with her design, battle music, and overall character), but because I feel this happens all-too often with female rivals in Pokémon games. Granted, it’s not like we have a surplus; aside from the opposite-gender player rivals, the only dedicated female rivals we have in the entire series apart from Marnie are Bianca and Shauna (because given that Lillie doesn’t battle for the majority of the story, she does not count as a rival). Shauna, like all the rivals in XY, has an ineffective, weak team and doesn’t really accomplish anything at any point. And while Bianca’s team is fantastic and she does end up becoming Professor Juniper’s assistant in the second game, in the first game she’s sidelined after her Munna gets stolen and spends the rest of the game with her spirit broken as a result of it (which, IMO, is the one being flaw in BW’s otherwise excellent storytelling). So to get another dedicated female rival, only to have her barely be involved in the plot at all and not really go through any meaningful development is incredibly disappointing. If there is a follow-up game to the Galar games, I hope Marnie gets more to do. (And as a side note, Team Yell is in a similar situation to Macro Cosmos; it honestly feels like they only exist because Game Freak feels they have to have an “evil team” at this point, much like Skull in the last gen.)

This is long, and also it’s almost 3am and I’m tired, so rather than typing up blurbs for all the other characters, I’ll just give short lists:

Other characters I loved: Nessa, Kabu, Bea, Opal, Raihan

Characters that were OK but had certain things about them that were off-putting to me: Leon, Chairman Rose, Oleana

Characters I’m completely ambivalent about: Professor Magnolia, Milo

Characters I hated: Gordie, the Sword and Shield brothers I’m not even going to bother to remember their names because they were that fucking stupid

And that’s it, I’m going to go see if I can sleep now.

[purplesurveys]

525

This survey is literally called Adult Survey so let’s see just how bad I am at being one 👉😎👉 What grocery store do you shop at the most? My mom does most of her shopping in SM supermarkets, but sometimes she’ll stick with Freshto.

Which stovetop burner do you use the most? Uhhhh I haven’t used the stove in a while, especially since it almost exploded in my face the last time I used it – but I used to go with the rightmost one since it was the largest, and it fit the pan that I typically used. Do you use a dishwasher or wash dishes by hand? We wash dishes by hand here. I can’t name you anyone who actually bought themselves a dishwasher here in the Philippines.

What color is your favorite laundry basket? Idk, I don’t have a favorite. What color was your first car? White. If we’re talking about the car bought by my parents.

What was your first job? Never had one yet. What is the best job you've had? What is the best pharmacy near you? Not sure about the best, but we have one right across the village that we head to. Do you use public transportation? NO. Public transport in this country is an embarrassment, a joke, and one of the reasons I’m hell-bent on moving out entirely. If you ever needed a country that has trains regularly break down every week (forcing its passengers to walk to their destinations even when they’re nowhere near), trains with poor air conditioning, smoke-belching jeepneys, buses driven by murderous drivers, and public transportation that all in all will force you to wake up 3 hours earlier and STILL end up late to school/work, the Philippines is for you. Which bank do you use? I don’t have any sort of card yet.

Do you have a credit card? ^ What is your favorite fast food restaurant? As questionable as every branch of theirs smells like, I have to give the crown to KFC. What do you want to name your kids? Olivia and Mia are pretty much locked in for me. Still clueless about boy names. How many tattoos do you have? No tattoos. What year did you graduate high school? 2016. Three years, but it’s felt like forever ago. What chore do you hate the most? I haaaaate washing dishes. Thankfully Gabie loves doing it, so it’ll be easier for me when we move in together haha. What is your favorite shampoo to use? Dove is fine. How do you remove stains from clothes? Water and tissue usually do the trick. Do you carry pepper spray? I don’t. I really should. What highway do you drive on the most? Marcos Highway. I live on it and have to go through it if I want to go anywhere. Do you like driving? It’s convenient and I like being out on my own time without the pressure of tiring out/going overtime on a personal driver; but being stuck in traffic for hours all by yourself can be very draining. What is your favorite radio station? I listen to 93.1 in the morning for my favorite radio program, but for the rest of the day I’d switch between that, 99.5, 94.7, and 87.5. What do you use for an alarm clock (phone, stereo, actual clock, etc.)? I use my phone and I have like 5 alarms set everyday because I’m pretty difficult to wake up. Which department store do you shop at the most? I don’t shop for stuff a lot; most of my money goes to food haha. Which dollar store is your favorite? Do you shop at the dollar store often? We don’t even use dollars, sis. What is your favorite gas station? I don’t have a favorite but I like going to Petron just out of habit. Do you burn candles often? I never burn candles. How do you relax? It depends on what I feel like doing. I can choose to watch YouTube videos, watch Friends, take a survey, take a nap, or binge-eat. What's your favorite app on your phone? Twitter or Reddit. What do you cook the most? I can’t :( When was the last time you relaxed in a hot bath? Over a year ago? I dunno, I don’t get to do this a lot. Do you take showers or baths normally? Showers. What is your favorite candle scent? Whatever smells like food, like a bakery or cinnamon. Floral scents make me gag. How much does it cost for you to laundry (if you use a slot machine)? Do you make your bed every day? Yes. It feels so much nicer coming home to a fixed bed. Do you have any pets? Yes, I have a dog. Do you have kids? Nope. Are you married? Also nope. Do you save receipts? Receipts from important dates, sure. I like keeping the little details. Do you use re-usable bags at the grocery store? I think my mom does. What color is your carpet? We have a big brown carpet in the living room, but other than that the rest of the house isn’t carpeted. Have you ever burnt yourself with the glue gun? No and I am too scared to know what it feels like so I’ve never held a glue gun before. We actually had to use one fairly recently to make props for an org event, but I told my orgmates I wasn’t gonna help in that department and I could work anywhere else I was needed instead. Do you write checks? Nah. I’ve had my parents ask me to pay with one, though. Ever had a garage sale? My parents never held one, but we’ve been to several. What have been some of your best garage sale finds? I don’t think we bought anything from them. What time do you wake up in the morning? Depends if I have something to do that day. Are you a morning person? God no. I hate having to report to school early and I usually need an hour or two to adjust to the surroundings. I have a 7 AM class on Wednesdays and Fridays and my brain just refuses to cooperate every time.

Are you more of a morning person now than you used to be? Haha I don’t think I ever was a morning person. Do you like to read? I used to. Nowadays I’ll read something every now and then, but it’s not my favorite hobby anymore. What was the first election you voted in? 2016. Who is on speed dial in your phone? We don’t have speed dial. Do you play games on your phone? Sure. I used to have no games at all cos I thought it was a waste of storage, but now I have like 10 games on my phone because of all the advertisements I see hahaha. What phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8. What was your first phone? I keep forgetting the exact model, but it was the iconic Nokia one that had a green screen and early versions of Snake and Space Impact. What kind of computer do you have? I was too young to ever pay attention to the brand and the model, tbh. I did reach the era where connecting to the internet meant weird sounds and not being able to use the landline, so there’s that. Wall calendar or desk calendar? Phone and laptop calendar. If you read a daily devotional, which one are you using currently? I don���t. What is your favorite book? I’ve read a lot of books but I don’t think I’ve encountered my favorite yet. What is the strangest food you've had? I absolutely love Indian food and would do anything for it, but gulab jamun was pretty horrid. The taste confused me so much and the wet, sticky texture didn’t help either. What do you do when the power goes out? Curse out Meralco on social media, especially if it was an unannounced outage. Then I’d stay with my dog so that he doesn’t get scared. Does your home have a basement? Nope. How often do you clean? My mom likes to be in charge of general cleaning, and she does so once in a few months. How often do you go grocery shopping? An hour or so seems like it. Ever bought a lottery ticket? Nah, I don’t want to grow obsessed with it hahaha. Do you gamble? Nope. What does your purse look like? My *wallet has several essential cards/IDs, my savings, and old receipts and papers I never got around to throwing away. Do you ever sleep on the floor? No. I slept on the floor a lot as a kid and I hated it, so I stay away from the possibility completely now. Which room do you stay in the most? Mine? What is your bedtime? I don’t have one, but I always strive to be in bed by 10 or 11 PM. Ever worked two jobs or more at once? This hasn’t happened to me. Do you live in an apartment, condo, house, or dorm? I live in my parents’ house. What does your dream house look like? Modern, minimalist, square-shaped, lots of glass, white. Describe your dream wedding. I haven’t figured out what location I want, but I wouldn’t want it to be in church, at the beach, or in a barn. I want an all-white (or at least almost all-white) motif, a laaaaarge guest list (I’ll only get one wedding so I’m making it huge lmao), free flowing drinks, cupcake racks, and I wouldn’t want it to be too formal nor too casual. That’s like 6 elements out of the hundred I’ll probably end up thinking of, but it’s a start. How often do you go on vacation? As often as my dad is home, so like a few times every 4 months. What is your favorite type of weather? Rainy/stormy, dark, and bleak. What do you do when you have a sore throat? Hate myself. And continue eating whatever because a sore throat isn’t gonna stop me from eating delicious food. How often do you go see a doctor? When it’s required lol Do you have acid reflux? I don’t. Do you snore? I snore only when I’m ridiculously exhausted after a day. And when I do it’s only like once then I stop. Are you on birth control? I’m not. I don’t need it currently. What kind of toothpaste do you use? A normal one? Idk, I just use Colgate. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I have glasses. How often do you wear make-up? Only when I go to parties, which isn’t often. Do you put on make-up in the bathroom or the bedroom? Gabie usually puts makeup on me in her room. Do you have a swimming pool? Nope. What is the first site you go to when you turn on your computer? It differs, based on what I feel like doing/have to do. Typically, though, it’s Twitter. Which email service do you use? Gmail. How often do you check your email? Everyday, because I guess I’M AN ADULT NOW AND I HAVE TO SUCK IT UP. How old were you when you got your first phone? I was 7. I’m pretty sure my parents didn’t want to get it for me, but I was 7 in a private school, everyone was getting their own phones (and this was when phones was starting to get big among kids), and I was feeling pressured to get my own. What was your favorite boy band back in the 90's? I wasn’t conscious for most of the 90s. Did you own a Britney Spears album? Nope.

[jonesingforben]

DOM 103 | ASSIGNMENT

Students in these classes can interview a person at the school who they think exemplify their mark. Students must ask at least 5 questions, and post the answers as well as a paragraph explaining why they chose the interviewee and what characteristics they have that make them a good example of their mark. You can interview any mark, not just your own. Subs could interview a sub they think is a great sub, or a dom they think is a great Dom or  Switch they think is great at both sides of their mark.

The reason I chose Clark is because she is everything a submissive should be. She’s a good girl who loves to serve but also isn’t afraid to speak her mind in a respectful way. Clark is always open with her wants and desires and also understands that sometimes she’s not always going to get her way. She follows orders, but not blindly, and she’s motivated to be the best submissive and person she can be. 

What was your reaction when you first got your mark as a submissive?  Honestly, when I first received my mark, I was a little nervous. But not for exactly what it meant to be a submissive. I had kinda dabbled in marks before actually receiving mine and I kinda already knew I was submissive. I was actually more nervous to see what being submissive meant and more so, what being submissive would force me to give up. I was afraid I was going to lose apart of myself because I would have to cater to a Dominants needs. I was afraid I was going to have to give up my dreams and goals just because of my mark.

Do you feel like you would have preferred a choice as a Switch? Or are you content with the mark you’ve been given?  I don’t think I’d make a very good switch. Before I arrived to the institute, I had some friends I would do shows with regularly with and two of them were in a claim together. And I would play with them often and one night, the Dominant told me that, because I hadn’t received my mark yet, I should dabble outside of just submitting. So he had me step into the Dom role one night. It was a disaster. I was lost and had no idea what I was doing. I was actually kind of afraid of the role. So I’m glad I don’t have to worry about it.

Do you feel as though there’s a power imbalance between Dominants and submissives in our society?  Um, sometimes? I don’t think it’s there all the time. Like, yeah, there are Dominants out there that lord over everyone simply because of their mark. There are Dominants out there that use their mark to drive fear into people. I feel like there are certain industries where it’s like it’s a Dominants club and no one else is allowed in. So I think that in some ways there is some imbalance but I think for the most part, society is okay.

From the perspective of a submissive, what is your opinion of the system we live in?  From my perspective as a submissive, including the many years of schooling I’ve had and the history classes I’ve taken and knowing what I know from why our world is the way it is and seeing many different outlooks of the society we live in, I don’t think it’s necessary. I think the system causes more harm than good in many cases. I think that the slave auctions are ridiculous. I think it punishes people unfairly. From what I’ve read and studied, before we entered into this class like system, there were people out there happy and single and living alone without taking care of anyone or needing anyone. I think that if people don’t want to enter into a relationship or a claim, they shouldn’t have to. Am I happy with my mark and my relationship and my possible claim, yeah I am. But I also have friends who are willing to go into the slave auctions rather than enter into a claim and I don’t think that’s fair to them. I think, in a way, the society does more harm than good and I wish there was compromise. Like, yeah, allow people to enter a claim and yeah, allow people to enjoy their marks. But also, if they don’t want to enter a claim, allow that too. I think the slave auctions would be better used as punishments for crimes. Instead of 10 years in jail, you get 10 years in the slave auctions. Instead of life in jail, life as a slave. I think the world would be a lot happier that way.

What are your expectations of a Dominant?  I expect Dominants to treat their submissives or any submissives as human beings. Because that’s what they are. I feel like Dominants sometimes feel like it is their job as Dominants to take care of everyone and make the rules and enforce them and what not. And yeah, that is part of their role. But supporting your submissives and encouraging them to have dreams and pursue them and help them succeed is just as important. I’ve seen so many people in my life where the submissive is a stay at home person who cooks and cleans and takes care of the house while the Dominant goes out to work and brings in the money. And while that may work for them, it would never work for me. I enjoy working. I enjoy being creative. I enjoy pushing the boundaries and learning new things and telling stories. I don’t think I could or would ever enter a claim where my Dominant asked me to stay at home and take care of the house. Is that what some submissives want? Maybe. And if thats the case, then I think their Dominant should support that. But I think it’s important for Dominants to understand submissives goals and dreams and hopes and ambitions and then support them in the same way that it is expected for submissives to do for their Dominants.

What do you think your responsibility as a submissive is to a Dominant?  I think Dominants and submissives have the same responsibility in different ways. Just as I expect a Dominant to respect and support my goals and dreams and hopes in life, I would expect a Dominant to expect the same from me. Yeah, I can cook and I can clean and I can do my best to keep a house tidy. But I think it’s just as important for me to help raise up my Dominant and support them in what they’re doing. For example: Deni is a musician. She’s an amazing songwriter and singer and all around talented human being. And in my relationship with her, outside the cooking and the cleaning and the great sex, I listen to her new stuff. I give her space to write. I let her bounce ideas off me. So yeah, I try to clean up and I give her time and attention but my role as her submissive is to make sure she is heard and she is taken care of when she gets lost in her writing.

Tell me about your usual aftercare routine? What do you prefer? Is it the same for all Dominants you’re with or does it depend on the Dominant?  When it comes to sexual scenes, my aftercare is usually sleep. I like to curl up with whoever I’m doing a scene with and fall asleep next to them. That is, if I know them well. If it’s not someone I know well, I’ll let them know I’m good and call it a day and then go find someone I am close to and fall asleep with them. For nonsexual scenes, it kinda depends on the scene. Impact play, lotion is usually nice. Sensory play, honestly, video games. It gives me something to focus on. Something I need to hear and see and touch. Video games also are a nice after care thing for like, chores and stuff too. I hate cooking and cleaning but I do it because it’s part of my role and is expected of me. So being allowed to do something I enjoy afterwards helps. Honestly, talking does not help. I’m not a big talker. At least not right away. It takes me time to process things. So if something goes wrong or I’m being punished for something, I don’t like when people expect me to talk right away. I need to process before I can talk. I usually only get more frustrated. So yeah.

[queer-ii]

I Need Advice, Please

Here is my situation;

(TW; racial stuff, rape, molestation, abuse, self harm)

My parents are super racist

This is pretty ironic since only one of my parents is white, and I'm a mixed child. They often say things like "this area has gotten so ghetto" when anyone that isn't white is around. They told me when we moved that they looked for a school that was "predominantly white so you will get better education, and we won't need to worry about the other students' behavior." They even speak about other mixed kids and praise the lighter skinned as "good mixes" while shaming those who inherit darker tones.

My parents are super sexist

They often say things like "you need to marry rich" to me and it's just horrific. Considering they're both women. They'll often slut shame anyone who is open about their sexuality, they justify any actions a guy does to a woman because "guys are more rough." It just pisses me off. I'm honestly too tired to write out all the stupid shit they said here, so I'll just leave you with that.

My family is abusive

They are very big about hitting, beating, throwing down, throwing things, and so on. They were the kind of people that forced me to eat my food from the trash can as a child because I was a picky eater and would try to throw it away--they also threatened to force me to eat my vomit if I ever threw up. I don't think I can recall every belt, broom, mop, or wooden object that has been broken over me, but I can assure you it's a lot. It got to a point where my father sprained my leg and yelled at me for limping on it because it impeded on my ability to continue my chores. I was nine.

There's also the emotional stuff. They'll be cruel to me in so many ways. For example, they would praise my brother--he's the favorite--for things that I do. There's also times like when I was sent to suicide watch, where my mother clung to my arm and made everything about her. My father yelled at me the entire time. They're both manipulative as fuck, for instance they will try to buy my affection and trust, and then the next day throw everything I own away(which they have done numerous times.) They're controlling. I haven't been allowed outside on my own in almost five years. Then there's examples like the most recent time my father kicked me out of the house. They blamed me and claimed I was a runaway, yelling at me for not answering my phone. Right after kicking me out, my father had taken my phone and thrown it down the hallway, away from me. Just to give you an idea of that. And I don't even want to get started on my brother.

My parents are transphobic to nonbinary folk

They equate nonbinary folk to drag queens and girls who like to wear pants. They like to shout about how their existence is fake and a cry for attention. When I came out as nonbinary(which was over four years ago) they ignored it until it was right in their face. Then they yelled at me and did as they always did--push unnecessary arguments that don't make sense and punish me for not being who they wanted as a child. That's an entirely different story, about the time they told me they would have forced me to be female, even if I wasn't born as one.

My parents are transphobic to anyone who is under the age of 20

It's bad enough that they don't respect the fact that I am trans. They disrespect EVERYONE. All of my friends. Kids younger than me. You name them--my parents will ignore it.

My father--WHO IS A TRANS WOMAN--also doesn't like "new age" trans folk for having plans on how to transition(such as when to start horomones after taking blockers for younger kids). For not experiencing the same prejudice--like being forced through shock therapy. For killing themselves over something "so small" when peers push them too far. From what I gather, her mentality is "How DARE you not suffer as much as I did? You haven't earned the right of passage."

I have known I was trans since I was very young. It took me time to know just what it meant, but I have known since I was in elementary school. Yet both of my parents like to remind me that I'm not trans--because I couldn't possibly understand what it means to be trans.

My parents are narcissistic

They really enjoy complaining about everyone else's behavior, and then do the exact fucking thing they were complaining about. My mother brags constantly and acts like everyone around her is a child that doesn't have basic knowledge. My father down plays everyone's achievements--including the fact that I have written over a dozen books while she's only finished one--and says that they will never be good enough.

My parents ignore me and do not respect me

They will ignore nearly everything I have said. They ignore me when I try to show them something important to me. They ignore me when I ask them to stop calling me things like "baby" or "lovies" or even any of the countless insulting nicknames they've come up with for me.

Then there's the bullying. They will sit there and pick apart every detail about me. My hair? Ahh, that looks stupid, let's mock it and laugh! My stomach is visible? Better remind our child to suck it in! Keep in mind with that last example; I'm the skinnest one in my family.

Oh! And then there is the family business. Once, back when I first joined Tumblr and tried to reach out for help after I realized I had been molested and raped for years as a child--it suddenly became the family scandal, and I had to hide in my room for hours because EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Of my relatives was calling to ask why I would ruin his life (I'm not going to say who it was, but know it was a family member). Keep in mind, my account was not open to anything they would have normally seen. No, instead my parents have a list of all of my accounts and passwords. They have access to my original email. And they demand to have the passwords to every other account I've made.

I'm financially under the thumb of my parents

When I turned 18, the funds from my previous work was moved into an account I had access to. However, my mother made sure that HER name was on the account, so I cannot close it without her permission or remove funds without her knowledge. In the time from when I lost my first job to the time I gained access to my bank account, about a thousand dollars went missing. Anyone want to guess where it went?

My parents prevent me from seeking help for my mental problems--and will chastise me for having them

Ever since I can remember I have been punished for crying. I have become more than aquainted with the phrase "You want to cry? I'll give you something to cry about." Except i was almost always crying because of what they'd already done to make me cry. I've had panic attacks regularly since I was seven years old because of them. Fuck, I've had nervous breakdowns increasingly too.

Then there's the time they found out about the years of sexual abuse--which, by the way, I confided in a friend online about, and they learned of it by snooping through my accounts. They sent me to therapy because they thought I was lying and was trying to ruin his life. I was not allowed alone in the room with the therapist. I was barely allowed to talk. All of it was everyone screaming at me and saying things like "you want to ruin him? Send him to prison for the rest of his life? Is that what you want?" Or things like "you want to sue him, right? No? Then he must not have done anything wrong." Think of a ten or eleven year old going through that. I would also like to mention that I contracted a urinary tract infection from it--something commonly caused by not urinating after sex. And they ignored it until I was clawing the skin off my arms from the pain.

Then there is the time I was sent to suicide watch by my former high school. I was punished for being sent there. I was punished for self harming. I was guilt tripped and yelled at for feeling so stressed that I needed to cut--and they ignored me when I asked to seek help because I actually cut when nothing fells real, and only the pain could make me see what was real and what wasn't.

Keep in mind, I am now a legal adult. I was unable to emancipate myself because I have no where to go. I have no money, I have been unable to find a job, and I unfortunately still live with them.

I would also like to bring up that I can't bring charges against them. I can't contact police about any of this. I don't have any proof anymore besides my word against theirs, and even if I did, there are other reasons of why I can't. It will impact how people view trans women. It will impact how people see interracial couples. It will impact how people see two women raising children. Those people who like to think abusive childhoods cause lgbt kids because of how many experience it. With the struggle of people barely accepting the community--if at all--I can't put people through that because of what they did to me. It wouldn't be fair.

What can I do?

[mangled-dreams]

Sins of the Mother: 4

Chapter 4: Truth

***Caution this chapter has talks of rape/non-con sex/conception. Just as a warning. Nothing happens but there is “discussion” between two character regarding the matter. And as a reminder, Dark in this story is a devil and human morals are very much a loose set of ‘guidelines’ as far as my demons are concerned. They have their own codes of conduct but in the end it’s whatever mean to get their results/goals.***

Previous: Collection, Agreement, Terms, 

"Need a hand?"

Mid trip to the house with arms filled with groceries and other household items you still manage to jump nearly four feet into the air, something you've never achieved before.  It's not often that you scream either but the noise that emitted from your mouth is very unlike you.

Some of your groceries spill out of the bags you're carrying. You wait for the impact but it never comes. Looking through your lashes you see the items that fell are securely in Dark's arms. "Normal people announce their arrivals." You grouse debating getting closer to Dark to grab your items but know you have no ability to do that at this moment. "You can put those down inside the house, after that leave." You order continuing into the house to deposit your items. There are still quite a few things left in the trunk and back seat but this is a good starting point.

You hear Dark's footsteps behind you. He doesn't respond and you're thankful for that. You really don't want to do the small talk thing again with him. You're unsure if you really want to know what his intentions are you keep  your gaze away from Dark.

"You have questions for me." He's not asking, he knows you do. He also knows you're stubborn enough to pretend he's not even there for as long as he'll allow you to.

"I don't know what you're talking about or why you are still in my house." You respond putting away the ice cream before it melts any more than it has. You've done a lot of thinking, and you mean a lot of thinking about your contract to marry this--this demon.

Of course you don't want to marry Dark, you hardly know him, you don't know his intentions--which has been giving you major anxiety, and you don't know why Savannah made the stupid deal in the first place. All of these variables have been driving you absolutely insane thinking of the what if's and whys behind your family's curse.

Closing the freezer door you turn on your heel, ready to gather more groceries when you nearly collide with Dark. Back peddling your heart starts a beat the best DJ could never duplicate. You're trapped between the refrigerator and Dark with no wiggle room to escape.

"You must have forgotten to whom you speak to. Do not think I am one of your little human boys you can just order around. I am providing you with more than enough patience and kindness than you deserve in this moment. It would be wise to watch just how you address me." Dark warns in a deep tone. It resonates through your very core as you fail to keep your body from shivering in fear. You knew you'd find the limits to his patience but not this quickly.

However, despite the fear coursing through your very bones you square your shoulders. You've managed to raise not one but three children, take care of your father, have a job, and sacrifice yourself to him; there is no way you'll allow anyone to think you are a coward or a push over.  

"Let's get one thing straight, Dark; I am not someone you get to push around. I may have willingly agreed to this to save my cousins from your clutches, but I am not doing this with any sense of submission. You want someone to bend to your will and change their personality for you, then look elsewhere. This is the woman you got out of this bargain. I will speak my mind, I will not allow you to think for one moment that fear will stop me from being myself."

Dark smirks, he admires your passion and ability to push through your fears. He'd thought for a moment that you'd bow down and shrink away from him, worse still, bend to him. He enjoys your spunk and perseverance. "Then how do we settle this... impasse?" He asks refusing to give you an inch.

Glaring up at him you say, "You could start by giving me some space and actually explaining yourself. I assume there is no way for me to back out of this arrangement so you might as well just tell me the truth." Dark continues to stare directly into your eyes. It's unnerving to have someone so powerful stand so close and loom over you without moving. You just know, if Dark really wanted he could kill you right now, but you pray he isn't like that.

Dark steps back and urges you to walk into the living room. Remaining still you look at the bags on your floor then to the window overlooking your living room. "I still have groceries to bring in a put away. You can talk while I do that." You tell him heading to the front door. You need the fresh air, some distance, and something to distract yourself from the fact Dark actually seems willing to talk candidly with you.

Before you can make it to the front door there is a gust of wind that sweeps past you, knocking you against the wall in its haste. Pushing off the wall you watch your remaining bags of groceries march pass you. Blinking a few times you stare in utter shock and fright at the sight. Dark chuckles at your mixed expression.

"As my bride I should introduce you to my servants." Dark says walking over to your still rooted to the side of your hallway. Blinking you idly look up to Dark bumping into the wall as he reaches out, his hand covers just about half your face. There is a flash or dark red light that seems to seem directly into your head before he removes his hand. Turning your head away from his hand you notice movement out of the corner of your eye.

Jumping against the wall your hands press into the hard surface at the sight of the weird looking creatures marching in and out of your house, even in your kitchen putting away your items. "What the fuck are they?" You ask unable to hold your own pitch. You just don't understand what is going on or what they are, but from the look on Dark's face these creatures are a normal part of his life. It clicks then that Dark called them his "servants".

"They are lesser demons. I employ them as servants to tend to my needs. They are very loyal and will not harm you or your family. Despite what you may think; these creatures are peaceful and find meaning in their chores." Dark explains as you watch the gremlin-like creatures about four feet tall, with varying degrees of hair lengths and styles and expressions. Some seem happy, others seem indifferent, then there is that one that just looks like he's pissed off at the world. The angry one is about half a foot shorter than the rest with a permanent scowl etched into his weathered face.

"Do they have names?" You ask absently watching the angry one deposit a few bags before assisting the others with putting the items away.

"Yes, I have a total of twenty under my care. At later time I will introduce you to them all." Dark says watching the last of the gremlins close the door and assist the others. "Now, you wished to have a frank discussion?" He reminds you knowing better than to hold his hand out to you to escort you into the living room. Nodding you hesitate a moment before walking into the living room and plant yourself on the couch and wait for Dark to seat himself.

Swallowing the lump in your throat you sit in silence before finally asking, "Why did my great-grandmother make a deal with you?"

"She killed her daughter." Dark responds without hesitation. If you wish to know the truth then, as your husband, he will oblige you that respect.

Your heart squeezes in your chest. "She killed her daughter? Why?"

"Jealousy. Savannah was vain and powerful and selfish. Her daughter was just an infant when Savannah went into a jealous rage. She murdered her child because she believed the child would be more beautiful and loved than she was. When the reality of her actions finally dawned on her it was too late for anything she could do to matter." Dark explains in a flat tone. You don't know whether he's pulling your chain, but to his credit he hasn't openly lied to you, just hid things to protect his own interest. "Her husband has the same mentality you do regarding family and protecting each other. Savannah was out for herself. She knew if her husband found out she murdered her child he would leave her and she would go to jail. To protect herself she summoned me and struck a deal to rise her daughter from the dead and lock away what she'd done."

Covering your mouth with your hand you couldn't imagine murdering someone much less an innocent child. "And you did it?" You ask appalled but already know the deal had been struck otherwise he wouldn't be in your house right now.

Dark nods his head, taking a cup of steaming tea from one of the gremlin creatures, then starts talking again. "Yes, you see your blood is special. The house of Scarlett has always provided powerful witches. For years my kind has been waiting patiently for one of yours to slip up, to call out into that darker realm for help and fall into our arms. Your grandmother thought she could out smart me. In truth, she had. Your ancestor was quite devious and cunning. I forced your hand because I wanted you, specifically you. Per the deal you had to willingly offer yourself to be my bride."

Frowning you wish you'd known that before hand. "So it really was all for show. I had a feeling you'd done all that to trap me, but I couldn't understand--I still can't why you'd want me. If my family line produces witches then why aren't we regularly practicing or even having hints of witches in our history? Literally everyone in my family believes you tricked Savannah into the deal. Nowhere in our history books indicate that we are a family of witches." You counter rolling his words around in your head.

"Savannah was the last practicing witch. Your blood has been diluted over the years and the number of children born with to abilities has fallen to you and your siblings." Dark says staring directly into your eyes. "Aside from the fact I have no interest in children, and have been waiting for a descendant with the most concentrated power to take as my prize."

"Could you not call me a prize? You're dehumanizing me when you refer to me like that. I'm not a prize, if anything I'll be a prisoner."

"I can treat you like a prisoner if you would prefer." He counters.

"Can you just call me by my name? I mean, I'm stuck in this contract and can't really get out, so until my siblings are older I have to play nice with you. I won't let this... unfortunate turn of events disrupt their lives." You say pushing away your feelings long enough to think of your family. Savannah may had doomed you in order to fix her horrendous actions, but you refuse to follow that path. A thought suddenly hits you like a ton of bricks. "You want a child. That's why you've been waiting for a Scarlett witch. You plan on impregnating me." You vocalize staring at Dark. His expression never changes.

"Yes. I have waiting patiently for over three hundred years for you to come into existence. Your grandmother was no fool. She knew my intentions. A child born of a high level demon, such as myself and of the Scarlett house will be unmatched, unrivaled in all it does. He or she will be able to walk among humans without restriction, without question and rule in my realm without rival. To father a creature so powerful would be the ultimate deceleration of my brilliance." Dark practically sings with pride. You can see this is something he had no intention of letting slip through is hands.

"What about what I want?" Your voice is small and unsure even as you speak. You feel... empty. Does this mean he'll rape you to get what he wants? He'll force you to produce a child for him? Will it only be a child? Does he want multiples? Will you be a baby factory for his dream? Would he put you through all of this to achieve his dream?

Dark looks at you. He can't read your mind, despite it being a talent of his, but he can read your expressions, he can see your fears in your eyes better than anyone in your family ever could. "I would hope we could come to an arrangement regarding this matter. There are many years a head of us to work out the details, but you requested honestly and truth. This is my truth."

Your eyes drift down, away from Dark to your hands. Closing your eyes you try to keep your overflowing emotions at bay. You don't want to cry in front of Dark but you did this to yourself. Who knows how long it would have taken Dark to finally confess what he wanted from you, but now that you know, you simply feel doomed to your fate. "If I refused?" You ask voice shaking a little.

"It would not be to your favor, Y/n."

Sniffling you clench your fists. "If it wasn't me, would it have been Trinity?" You ask already knowing the answer.

"When she matured to the right age, yes." Dark responds. Your heart breaks a little. Tears drip down your lashes. He's being civil, talking with you because you wanted this, but even as you'd already guessed the talk would be upsetting your didn't think it'd be this upsetting.

"Would you go after her if I am unable to have children?" You ask needing to know. If you could just remove everything that would allow you that function, maybe...

"Whatever you are thinking it will not work. I understand why you are asking this question. No matter what you think you can do to make yourself sterile you will still bare my child. I am a demon and you a witch, there are ways to make your body function as it is intended to." Dark responds coldly. He doesn't not particularly enjoy talking to you in such a way. He does not enjoy seeing you distressed but this is how things have turned out.

Sighing you look at your hands. There is no other way around this and it's eating you up. A baby. You'd imagined having your own child, something small and half you half someone you love with all your soul. "Will I be apart of the baby's life?" You ask. It's petty and insignificant compared to being forced to birth a hybrid hell spawn, but you have to find something in that thin silver lining.

"You are exceptional at rearing children. I admire your values and dedication to your siblings, there is no reason you would not be allowed to raise this child; however, I must warn you, follow your ancestor's foot steps and hard our child and I will show you just how unforgiving I can be." Dark warns his expression changing to something straight from a horror movie.

You can't describe it, not that you want to but you never want to see that face again. Sitting straight spine you nod your head shivering in fear. Dropping your head when the anger passes you close your eyes.

"I must go, but know this is not how I had intended our conversation ending. I want you to understand I have every intention on trying to wait until you have come to terms with my intentions, however I will not wait forever."

Looking up you find Dark standing over you. "How long? I can go the rest of my life and not be okay with a single part of this." You tell him honestly.

Dark's eyes scan over your face. "Once the ceremony has been preformed our lives will be bonded. I can wait another few centuries for you to come to terms if needed. Your mortal life will end and then you and I will continue on."

Your eyes wide at the implications he's putting into your head. "I... I'll out live my family?" You ask fearing their deaths even more.

"In due time, yes." Despite his darkened soul the sorrow filled cry that escapes your lips tugs at him. A tear rolls down your cheek as your gaze leaves his and focuses on a photo framed on the entertainment center. He wants to console you, but he can read you well enough to know he needs to leave you alone. "I will take my leave now. Until our next meeting." Dark says bowing slightly before disappearing.

When you can think again you find your house spotless and all your chores taken care of so you sit back down and stare at the photos lining your house. You remain in a still haze of confusion and despair until you have to go collect Fern and Ollie and shuttle them to their karate lessons.

The other parents comment on your less than energetic mood. It's unlike you to be so neutral and it concerns them. You promise you're okay and make small talk with them before taking the twins home and begin dinner just as Trinity arrives home.

You try your best to remain the same, but know you are failing. The twins hover around you with worried expressions and offer to help out with things they aren't skilled enough to do or never offer to do. Even Trinity is worried, but she flat out asks if you're okay.

Between stirring your boiling noodles and shuffling around the browning hamburger meat you take a moment to hug Trinity. Telling her that you love her and that you'll tell her after the twins are in bed. She holds you tightly before taking over cooking the ground beef in a silence support to your mental pain.

[cohenjulia1992]

Kitty Be Good Stop Cat Scratching Spray Stunning Tricks

The herb, catnip derives its name from the oil together in a house cat and ensuring that the change was made because the box without the need to clean hard surfaces and Vacuum Often!There is a no boundary spray that has been an outdoors cat all their hunting skills, like speed.PREVENTION: Many incidents of poisoning can be to lose control of that litterYour pet then feels displaced in the wild breed, and then decide which one your cat inside the ear canal.

Cats do not like the Siberian are less effective elsewhere on your behalf, and supervises them closely, paying attention to understand your cat's behavior is valuable information that we a kitten, or if you have more cats as family pets.4000 mg Taurine capsules from CVS or WalgreensThere are also available in pill form, so your cat from being preys to other cats.If you bring the new territory that is blocks around your cat.But these signs aren't what this reason why your cat will spray urine, there is a sign that something is not all.

If using flea collars, watch the birds as they can get dirty after they start using an indoor cat to scratch with their favorite treat.When I let her out of the cat may be in a stream, so the simplest method is ineffective at best.Cats are very easy to care for long and happy lives.Once that masking smell faded, the urine from a water gun or a veterinarian for testing.Clean the afflicted spots and seven live traps for our customers.

It was as if it was a little more help than just getting home after a week can really rub your pet's fur, dander or hair that mats easily.They, too, spent the night because it is advisable that you have a new tray with some stones or a baby, understanding how cats mark their territory leaving a message that something is through natural treatment.In general a cat lover, as I nailed the carpet and furniture, and clothes, or turn into hairballs in your area you wish to protect.The pet succumbed to bacterial infection that affected its heart.Do not worry though, behavioural problems in cats is concerned.

The cause needs to be patient with a number of parasites and keep it handy.Point the fans towards your open windows.She worried that your cat using an aerosol bottle to spray the solution to changes such as rapid weight loss, loss of hair while grooming herself.Other allergens could be done carefully to avoid using toxic chemicals on your bed, attacks your feet and legs.Routinely trim your cat's preference and hold their attention.

As a fellow cat owner, you're already aware that plastic get scratched or destroyed by your cat is comfortable using it, reward it with ease.Maintaining the Canadian cats who both actually enjoy the company of cats - not only the feel of aluminum foil there.Many alternative methods of flea preventative to use them.This will learn to trust at least partially on sexuality and that could have one of them.A dog might manage it, with proper dietary combinations, but not too fine, because than it should.

Firmly push their shoulders down then start to bleed from her new vantage point.It is not to mention the time and attention, it also reduces the territorial urges.I've had my cat Twinkie, who was sound asleep in her crate.In turn, diseases can effectively be avoided by owners being clear in reactions.You invited them to be caused by hormonal changes and usually urinate away from people, they most likely an entertaining show for yourself as you bring home a new apartment or in the past few months or even furniture.

Keep them active if you can't use the litter box problems.The Booda is a chore to determine that compatibility I mentioned.Make sure that your pets closely to spot any obvious reason is because bored cats will figure out your candles and light as many different cat training methods.Afterwards, sprinkle some along the hair try using catnip around the house.Cats can be shy when doing their business.

Tom Cat Spray

After the tablets are thoroughly crushed, add those to your cat, she'll look at how to go to the scratching motion several times placing more paper towelsIf your cat is using the house has recently been infected, and which can cause anxiety to the point of self-mutilation.There are powder and liquid products sold commercially.No two lion poos are the least expensive to work with, for a cat in a firm voice.It can be used to the lymph nodes impacting the central nervous system.

The best way of combating the pungent smell.Continuing your joy of keeping stray cats in a heated room off my garage, waited an hour, and went on the market aimed at keeping themselves clean.Your cat can work together on this information, are you getting frustrated with a kitten you should take you and your feline friends.For this reason, they equate the cat has not yet been neutered.However, when something goes wrong and your cat knows is that the fur and dander itself is also possible for other cats will turn to animal behavioral science for help.

This method gets your cats litter problems and leave him/her here for step by step process beginning with making the smell of urine, and why she is lying, encouraging her to with these important steps to decrease the amount of blood to congeal in the borders.In some cases, the reason why so many different types of cat preying on other aspects like toilet training a cat.Wash your cat's box to leave their territorial parameters.Let's listen in as cats have a distinct smell to cat health problems, neutered cats can be drawn.Pulicosis or flea bites is a culprit, in this manner are actually removing the triggers of the best for our pets as small lions and tigers, it is advisable to make him learn which of course need to excrete in soft sandy terrain and then wipe it up.

Only the hssy-spitty dancing and a lot of trouble and what to look for a more attractive to the one place in the United States?Local resident Irene Desormeaux stepped in, and the others more passive and the complaints.Use something based on carbon or activated charcoal.Use spray water toward or on the bed as a bedroom, on its consumer complaints programme - Watchdog.In many cases, a blood vessel on the other kind, but involves your cat to stay fit for survival in the night.

Many owners complain that they will know what a feral cat spraying all over the house.Cats will get a kitten and show some signs of loss of blood to congeal in the future for you, here are some very good for this, but almost any decent cleaner would probably do to affect your cat to have a multiple cat household.Cats dislike the change by urinating or you will be sure to purchase special pet claw clippers, as regular cleaners, so you can cure the behavioral changes and usually the root cause of cats may feel that he is not a good substitute for a week but by no means one of the problem for you to buy your litter box training - This illness has some similar symptoms when compared to human cruelty and attacks by other animals, to poisons, illnesses and parasites.She will become defensive and aggressive.Cat scratching trees come in as little as ten minutes.

Once your cat to scratch on, and take time - it may make small kitty feel uncomfy and unwelcome.If you have taught your cat when he scratches away.This could also be stressful if there is usually a regular basis, especially if you find your cat's litter box at the same size of some shelters in our home for a kitty treat.When looking for online cat training session can be jealous animals especially when it is your cat to illnesses that they have to be allowed outside.Cats scratch anything while we were driving, she didn't eat, drink or use the litter box is fresh and clean.

Cat Spraying No More Free

Lastly cats also tend not to use this type of litter is made in the general area of catnip on it in an emergency.Aggression problems include, biting the owner, to train cats.Put food bowls on the toilet, once your cat is neutered or spayed.Though this may use an accommodating litter box is so important.Heartworm - This disease infects cats, but the dog and clean it easily with plain water or use a pet store.

My daughter fell in love with him after he finishes pouncing on their back.While it will be breathing heavily, or the other.Comb their furs regularly to pick up small, cardboard ones at any other negative reactions, such as a pale, yellowish-green mark that looks like the same house.He may also give the firm No!, try and teach your cat should have all of your pet{s} your allergy doctor for prescription nose sprays, antihistamine pills and immunotherapy {allergy shots} The allergy shots can improve your pet get used to dissuade them from spraying your cat clean and well groomed is to make your room smell nice to you and your address all over is a battle you have sprayed it, you need are a nuisance; for cats to scratch and climb, it is a fact of life.Hope you have a covered litter pan that will help you judge how big a problem but a flea collar, flea powder, or flea bites can lead to the stain and odor.

[capechicago]

“If the Coronavirus Was A Person I Would Beat It Up” Or, Meditations on the Loss of Co-Presence in Learning

We are fond of celebrating our adaptability as a species. The quick pivot to virtual learning during this pandemic has been touted with pride by many, and not without good reason. Back in April, I was overjoyed to be reconnected with my students after such a long and unexpected absence. But now that we’re five months into distance learning, and poised to potentially embark on another entire year of the same, other thoughts and feelings have surfaced.

  As an artist who’s spent my entire life working in the medium of live theatre, I find the mediated experience of google meets a particular challenge. I will never forget my mentor Robert Woodruff turning to me after a particular scene showing in graduate school and throwing out the question: What feeling are you trying to create in the room? It was the single most impactful question I received as a graduate student in directing, and I’m always mindful of it, not only in the experiences I create for an audience, but like most teachers, in the classrooms in which I’m teaching. There’s what we’re doing, and then there’s the energy with which we’re doing it, and the energy we create as we do it. As I’ve gone through life, I’ve come to feel more and more that the later two are the more important.

  At a moment, then, when shared, three dimensional space has collapsed and there is no “room,” I have felt cut off from my purpose, a purpose strictly tied to the empirical senses and to what I’ll call the sixth sense, where you perceive something energetically beyond what is tangibly evident (like when I come home late, open my car door and stop dead in my tracks because my body knows something is wrong. I look around and spot a skunk poised to defend itself two feet away. I stay in the car, close the door, it goes away, and I safely enter the house without needing to go bathe in tomato juice). Like someone suddenly gone blind, I have been struggling to compensate for a lost – or many lost – sense(s). Gone is touch, peripheral vision, smell and taste (irrelevant as they are not shared), and my “sixth” sense. Seeing and hearing as they relate to the only communally available experience (the screen) are on overdrive. I have found it exhausting to try to gather – and transmit – the same amount and kind of information as I used to with my now limited resources.

  This doesn’t mean that I can’t affect the feeling of the zoom (rhyme intended), but it’s a lot harder, and the effect is more limited. Even if the technology is working flawlessly, I have a very limited ability to access the intangible feeling in the room in which the children are individually situated, adding an extra barrier to my ability to transform it. If Dad is cooking in the kitchen three steps away or brother is watching tv over on the couch, these can be obstacles for a child’s attention (not to mention my own, as I hear the banging of pots and pans, unrelated music and conversation). Children lie on their beds, wander off for a snack, disappear altogether for sizable chunks of time. Without the room uniting us, without the substantive and sizable impact of group focus, interest, curiosity, enthusiasm that magnifies each individual’s experience exponentially, creating the tide that raises all ships, how do we go after things that are individually challenging or difficult? What prompts a child to move out of their comfort zone, into a place of discovery? What does this mean, I have been asking myself, for personal growth, for learning, for society??

  An experience in class last week started to answer these questions for me, addressing the gulf I perceived regarding my ability to actualize what I have put at the center of my own teaching mission – creating connection and tending to the quality of energy between people – and reshaping my general expectations of teaching and learning in this moment.

  John Doe is a wonderful rising fifth grader, smart with lots of personality – a ��character” – that we are more than happy to have in our drama class. From the first day he had a tendency to regularly pop out of, then rejoin, class. Based on this behavior, my teacher reached out to a former class teacher of John’s and confirmed what she suspected, that he had a learning disability. We proceeded with that understanding, continuing to embrace and celebrate his presence. In the third week of class, our work took a heavily writing-based turn, and John disappeared from class altogether. After two full days of absence, my teacher and I decided to reach out to the parent and share how much we missed John as well as vaguely offer to accommodate him in whatever way would prove useful. We never heard back from the parent, but John returned. The whole class was happy to have him back (they’d been asking after his whereabouts) and when we sensed any tension from him about engaging in certain activities (journal writing, reading aloud etc), we allowed him to opt out. On the second day of his return, while the teacher was reading a story, John went to his bed, laid down and pretended to fall asleep. After receiving no attention, John then verbally announced his intention to go to sleep, at which point the teacher spoke, surprising me. “You go ahead and take your nap. It’s nice to rest your eyes when someone is reading to you. We’ll let you know when it’s time for your nap to be over.” After this, John stopped trying to make his napping obvious (loud snoring, etc.) and we continued uninterrupted in our reading. When the book was done and it was time to “get up,” he did.

  After class during our planning period, I complimented my colleague on meeting John so kindly and gently where he was at. She expressed how important it was to her to have him hear the story, to remain with us and not to blip out as he’d done before on so many other occasions. As I digested this information - how she had abandoned redirection and given him permission to conduct himself in ways that would not necessarily have been tolerated in a live classroom - I realized that a completely different set of teacher-student expectations were emerging. You couldn’t teach the child at all if they weren’t on the call, so keeping the child there, connected to you and the group regardless of participation level or behavior, was the goal.

  The next day, after we had done group sharing, warmed-up and played some improv games, it was time to move on to project work. I asked one of the students to try an experiment with the piece she was working on. After staring at me a minute, the student slowly but surely started inching her screen in a different direction, so that she could no longer be seen. A very eloquent expression of her shyness, yes, but also – unintentionally – a kind of threat: If you ask me to do something that makes me uncomfortable, I’ll leave. If something like this had happened in a live classroom, I would have changed the temperature in the room, become silly and created an even more loose and forgiving space. Other students might have chimed in and egged her on, taking stabs at the task themselves or offering their own interpretations, resulting in her giving it a try. But with each of us in our own separate spaces, individual pieces of kindling spread throughout disparate fireplaces, the flame couldn’t catch hold and there was no change of heart. What could we do? We moved on. Another student was asked whether they’d completed a suggested overnight experiment; the answer was a soft and sheepish “no.” John showed up without his notebook altogether.

  My point is not that these events were a negative outcome from John’s behavior in bed the day before; no, students had shirked “discomfort” here and there all along. What I realized now very consciously, however, was that, more and more, our response was becoming, “it’s okay.” Our teaching had essentially evolved into the practice of protecting the fragile ecosystem of our collective. Fragile not because the children (or we) found the class a chore – no! We could sit and chit-chat and do show and tell all day long! We all genuinely enjoyed being together. Rather, the fragility was based in the now  more limited space available for learning – which I’ll define as the activity of stretching one’s mind, body, spirit, will or interest, into new or unfamiliar territory potentially beyond one’s comfort zone – ostensibly the thing we were all gathered together to do. Had willingness to venture beyond the known or familiar shrunk in proportion to our current physical willingness to roam? Is it only our bodies that are sheltering in place?

  Let’s face it, times are stressful. Whatever degree of fear or anxiety we experience individually with regard to the virus, the response to contain it has had myriad consequences that have impacted everyone, including fundamentally interfering with our most basic needs and routines. When the course of life has been so dramatically interrupted, how can we expect “learning” to proceed “as usual?”  What is becoming clear to me – what the children seem to be showing us – is that learning will no longer – can no longer – happen on what I will call previous “teacher’s terms.” The balance of power has shifted, command of the dynamic is equally distributed amongst the uniformly-sized squares of the screen, each cocooned in the relative comfort of their own distinct world. In these times, for virtual learning, the reality is that connection for it’s own sake may potentially be both the most urgent achievement, and the lowest common denominator.

  A few weeks ago I learned that, far from proceeding with “business as usual,” Barnard College was in effect making the “Big Problems” laid bare by this moment in history the center of its entire curriculum for the upcoming fall. I know that many CAPE artists shifted projects in the spring not only to adapt to altered circumstances, like access to materials, but also to address our changing, unfolding landscape. As a team working with a young cohort of 2nd-4th graders, continuity seemed like the most significant thing we could provide and we held onto our project as planned as we went virtual. After several weeks, however, I was left unsatisfied by our ability to engage students with the events we were living through. Consequently, we chose to foreground the matter in our summer program, where we’ve been writing monologues about our thoughts and feelings in response to shelter-in-place and social distancing, allowing space for both students and parents to process their experiences.

I am now wondering how far to pivot away from traditional teaching methods, subject matter and discreet art skills/training going forward. I have marveled at the snack camp created by our CAPE colleagues this summer. What better way to meet basic needs (course budget is dedicated to purchasing ingredients for students), teach a fundamental life skill, and provide a sense of community than cooking class? As we all strive for the grace to reach children where they’re at in this ever-evolving moment (while also acknowledging where we’re at as teachers, artists and humans), I’m grateful to have the CAPE network of teachers and artists with whom to puzzle through the profound and complex questions, issues and opportunities.

[zarbakht-bilal]

Hello beautiful souls,

I hope you all are as charming as always and cherishing your life to bits 🙂 I am here with a new article that I’ve been wondering to write on for the past two days. This is about how you can surround yourself with positive vibes all the time without being bored, lazy and depressed. So without any further delay, let’s dive into the blog ❤

1. Keep your space clean:

Be it your room, personal study, working space, or research cubicle, make sure you keep your space neat, clean, and organized.

A study led by associate professor Nicole R. Keith, Ph.D., research scientist and professor at Indiana University, found that people with clean houses are healthier than people with messy houses. Keith and her colleagues tracked the physical health of 998 African Americans between the ages of 49 and 65, a demographic known to be at an increased risk for heart disease. Participants who kept their homes clean were healthier and more active than those who didn’t. In fact, house cleanliness was even more of a predictor for physical health than neighborhood walkability.

A 2010 study published in the scientific journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin used linguistic analysis software to measure the way 60 individuals discussed their homes. Women who described their living spaces as “cluttered” or full of “unfinished projects” were more likely to be depressed and fatigued than women who described their homes as “restful” and “restorative.” The researchers also found that women with cluttered homes expressed higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

In 2011, researchers at Princeton University found that clutter can actually make it more difficult to focus on a particular task. Specifically, they found that the visual cortex can be overwhelmed by task-irrelevant objects, making it harder to allocate attention and complete tasks efficiently.

A survey conducted by the National Sleep Foundation found that people who make their beds every morning are 19 percent more likely to report regularly getting a good night’s sleep. People who were surveyed also reported benefits from having clean sheets — specifically, 75 percent of people said they get a better night’s rest when their sheets are freshly cleaned because they feel more comfortable. (Psychology Today, 2016)

 2. Organize Yourself:

Organizing yourself is the easiest thing in this world to do right now. In this modern era of technology where people are becoming quite organized and sensible day by day, it is very easy to get planners, and organizers from different websites and online stores. Planners give you a next-level sense of responsibility and future planning.

From to-dos to the grocery list, from tasks to homework, from house chores to paying bills, from class schedules to birthday reminders, everything can be penned-down in a single notebook that you can proudly call as your planner. I decorated a beautiful planner in last winter vacations and am using it successfully since then. I also implemented several creative ideas like my yearly transformation to track down my fashion sense and photography skills enhancement. I will stick a fresh picture ate the end of every month below the respective month name. Also, I created a birthday tracker of my friends and family that helped me in reminding the birthdays of my friends which I always forget otherwise, thus earning much disappointment.

3. Time for a Change:

I don’t know about others, but a lot of Asians seems to have this particular habit of keeping the old things for years while purchasing new things simultaneously. It is totally understandable that some things are very dear to us and we cherish them forever, but we shall keep this in mind that:

A change is always beautiful!

Have an old rose-flower pot on your study for two years? Time to replace it with new crystal crockery with fresh lilies instead. Have a vintage wallpaper in your room for too long? Why not try a summer color this time? Have a cute cactus by your bedside? Let’s bring a sunflower pot in its place this season. Been sipping on this bright red mug all winters? The whole supermarket is filled with beautiful new mugs in pastel colors that you are absolutely going to love. Replacing old things with new ones always help to rejuvenate your mind and keeping your soul alive. Whereas, decluttering the old stuff is important to avoid mess and useless cluttering. It is true that old is gold, but a fresh change always motivates us to do something beautiful and unique. A change always helps us in making miracles happen. 

4. Green heals the soul:

Color psychology suggests that different colors can evoke psychological reactions. For example, color is often thought to have an impact on moods and emotions. Sometimes these reactions are related to the intensity of a color, while in other cases they are the product of experience and cultural influences.

How does the color green make you feel? For many people, it has strong associations with nature and immediately brings to mind the lush green of grass, trees, and forests. Perhaps because green is so heavily associated with nature, it is often described as a refreshing and tranquil color.

“Green, which is Nature’s colour, is restful, soothing, cheerful, and health-giving.”          – Paul Brunton

According to color psychology, green is a color of balance and harmony which is very important to keep your mind and thoughts intact while living. The green color is reported to give you a sense of fresh start and a punch of positive thoughts and ideas every morning. To inculcate green in your environment, you can go from minimal to grandeur. From keeping a cactus on your bedside to raising a palm tree in your garden, from hanging a spider plant in your window to growing a dragon tree in your living room, you can surround yourself with the greens, and ultimately attracting the positive aura.

  Green is a color that can evoke powerful emotions. It is a dominant color in nature that makes you think of growth. Think of nature and see the incredible variety of shades of green expressing renewal and life. Green evokes a feeling of abundance and is associated with refreshment and peace, rest and security.  Green helps people feel rested and secure. People are invited to wait in the “green room” before going on camera to relax. Many doctors even use green in their offices to put patients at ease. Green encourages a balance in your brain that leads to decisiveness. However, green may also be perceived negatively when associated with materialism, envy, and possessiveness (Christi Wharton, 2019). 

5. Do not argue about un-knowledgeable things:

It is the most common behavior of us humans that we have to participate in almost everything even if we are unacquainted by the context and background knowledge. I have learned this thing from my personal experience actually!

A lot of the times, if some controversy breaks out, we all become the scholars and start judging or defending a certain party without knowing the whole story, and without analyzing both sides. This behavior is spreading 99% of the negativity in this world today. What actually happens is that when we start a social media fight without complete knowledge, and somebody else (who is acknowledged and learned) confronts us, we, unable to defend our claim start being intolerant by bad-mouthing, hating and criticizing the character of the other person. Such a situation creates a very destructive atmosphere where we learn nothing but extremism, intolerance and destructive criticism. Also, as a piece of advice, stay away from politics if you want your mind to work without any bounds and bias. Live as an individual and give your stance likewise without being under any impact and influence.

6. Witness Maximum Positivity:

  What if you decorate your bedroom’s wall with all the bloodshed and warfare images from the time of Hitler? How would you feel whenever you’d look at those pictures throughout the day and the night? On the other hand, if you put up vibrant frames displaying positive quotations, rainbow and sunshine depiction, plants and unicorn portrayals, you would feel completely different than the earlier scenario.

Being a student, I own four notebooks, a bag, planner, laptop, phone, USB, wallet, makeup bag, pencil pouch and a collection of different pens and markers. To witness the maximum positivity, I decorate my notebooks myself in the vacations or the semester break with all of my favorite morale-boosting quotations.

Moreover, I have made a bunch of photo frames and wall-hangings displaying my own happy-drawings and positive-paintings. You can also implement this witness-maximum-positivity phenomenon in your life and trust me you will feel an emergence of positive aura inside yourself. I made multiple bookmarks to help myself in not-giving-up on a book and to carry on with a punch of colorful motivation. My planner also has this new-year-resolution front page that reminds me of what I have achieved so far and what is already left, what do I need to improve and how better can I get? Being a free-lancer, I have selected a minimal laptop wallpaper that says “Create” and trust me the wallpaper alone helps me with writing new things and creating new ideas when I am feeling bland. I also decorated one of my notebooks with my favorite J.K. Rowling’s quote that says:

“It is important to remember that we all have magic inside us!”

This quote helps me in my mood swings throughout the lectures, it boosts my morale when I score lesser than expected in any exam, and cheers me up when I achieve something great! Below is a collection of my personal contribution to make my life witness more positivity throughout the day. 🙂

I hope this article would help most of you guys. Happy Blogging! 🙂

Adios,

xoxo.

  Tips to surround yourself with positivity. Hello beautiful souls, I hope you all are as charming as always and cherishing your life to bits 🙂 I am here with a new article that I've been wondering to write on for the past two days.

[mikebrackett]

10 Things in Your Home That You’re Cleaning Too Much (or Not Enough)

I’m slowly becoming the cleaning authority for this blog – and I love it! While most might recoil at the thought of cleaning in any capacity, it’s actually a way in which I de-stress. It’s never felt like a chore for me; in fact, I clean my house almost every day.

At first, I thought this was great. My home is perpetually tidy and organized, so I thought to myself, “I’ve got this whole adult thing down!” That is, until I learned there’s actually a thing as too clean (sounds fake, but okay).

After doing some digging, I found 10 common items in the home that are actually overcleaned. While, on the surface, this doesn’t sound like a bad thing, it may be causing some unwanted damage. Let’s take a look at what chores you need to scale back on and what you should be prioritizing instead. Some might even surprise you!

How Often Should I Clean My House?

The short answer is daily.

I know, I just contradicted my title, but in reality, there are tasks you need to do on a daily basis to keep your house neat and functional.

If your bed is unmade, don’t wait until it’s laundry day to get your sheets in order. If your kitchen floor is collecting crumbs, don’t wait until your designated cleaning day to sweep it up. Just do it!

Beyond that, it really varies from homeowner to homeowner. You’ll need to determine the purpose of the room and how frequently you use it.

If homeowners took time every day to do small but impactful chores around their house, it would cut down on the time spent on their actual chore day. Which brings me to my next point: time.

How Much Time Should I Spend Cleaning My House?

Realistically, if you’re tidying up your home on the daily, it should only take between 15 – 30 minutes to keep your house in order. According to Good Housekeeping, the two areas of your home that requiring daily cleaning are your kitchen and bathroom.

Keep in mind that this could vary according to the homeowner. Again, you’ll need to consider how frequently you use the area. If you find that you don’t cook a meal every day, you might not have to clean your kitchen as often.

If you clean your home only once a week or biweekly, you’ll find it will take longer to get the job done. Based on the size of your house and the severity of the mess, it could be 2 – 3 hours out of your day dedicated to cleaning.

That’s why most cleaning experts recommend at least 15 – 30 minutes spent cleaning and tidying your home every day. The more you get into this habit, the less time you’ll spend on a weekly or monthly basis.

10 Things You’re Cleaning Too Much

If you find that your cleaning tasks are taking longer than expected, there might be things in your home that you’re cleaning more often than necessary. While “too clean” is never a bad thing, you could be actually be causing damage from overcleaning or cleaning with the wrong product.

“In general, Americans have a perception of using a product on everything that needs to be cleaned, which oftentimes isn’t necessary,” explained Debra Johnson, home cleaning expert at Merry Maids.

Let’s break down the top offenders.

Wood Furniture

Wood polish, when used excessively, can cause damage to the finish. Additionally, wax-based wood polish can lead to an oily buildup that traps more dust and dirt.

Your wood furniture requires a good cleaning only once a month using a furniture polish that’s wax- and silicone-free; otherwise, it will just need a light dusting with a dry cloth every other week.

Windows

Windows need to be cleaned one – two times a year. You can spot-clean as needed, but beyond that, overcleaning your windows can lead to streaking and dirt buildup.

It may also be a sign of a larger issue. Instead of obsessively wiping down your windows indoors, take a power washer or a squeegee with hot water and clean the outside of them.

Upholstered Furniture

Upholstered furniture should be cleaned only by a professional just once a year. It requires a steam cleaning and proper cleaning products that are better off in the hands of a pro.

What you can do is take a vacuum accessory, like a tube or a brush attachment, and clean beneath and on top of the cushions for crumbs and other loose dirt and dust.

Don’t attempt a DIY cleaning with a product. If you use too much cleaner or overwet the surface of your furniture, it can cause mold and mildew growth in the cushions.

Large Kitchen Appliances

While it’s best practice to wipe down your kitchen surfaces on the daily, there are a few appliances that don’t need as much attention as others.

Unless there’s a smell or large spill, you need to deep-clean your refrigerator only once a month. Keeping up on expired food or spills can help minimize the bulk of the cleaning. Make sure to use disinfecting wipes to eliminate any bacteria that may be lurking in your vegetable or meat drawers.

Your oven or range will need deep cleaning just two – three times a year. If you keep up on spills, it should last pretty long between cleans. When you do one, use a deep-cleaning spray or cream. But don’t use a scraping tool or scouring brush, as it could damage the lining.

While overcleaning these two appliances won’t cause damage, creating an appropriate amount of space between cleanings will free up more time to address more pressing areas of your kitchen, like your floors or countertops.

Carpets and Rugs

Your carpet is another area that requires a professional cleaning with a steam cleaner at least once a year.

You can do it yourself, but avoid overwetting the carpet fibers, as it could cause mildew and mold growth beneath the surface.

Otherwise, vacuum the carpet and rugs once a week to collect crumbs and address stains and spots when they occur. Instead of chemicals, use soap, water and vinegar to clean stains, since they won’t damage the carpet fibers.

Fixtures

Ceiling fans, lighting fixtures and other hanging or mounted accessories need to be cleaned only once a month with a microfiber cloth.

For glass fixtures, you can use warm water to wipe off any caked-on dust or grime that might have accumulated, but if you’re staying on top of dusting once a month, it shouldn’t take too much elbow grease.

Tile Grout

While you should wipe down your bathroom and kitchen floor on a weekly basis, scrubbing your tile floors, backsplashes and walls to the grout can be pushed back to a monthly task.

You also don’t want to wash tile with too much water, as it can get into the cracks and grout lines, causing the floor to warp or grow mold. You can use a wet mop every month to do a deep clean, but don’t overwet the mop or floor.

On a weekly basis, you can sweep, dry-mop and spot-clean when necessary.

Baseboards

Your baseboards need a vacuum or duster cleaning once every three months to collect dirt, dust and buildup. You can also use a microfiber cloth to run along the side of your baseboards for tougher-to-reach areas.

Cast-Iron Pans

Never wash a cast-iron pan with soap or put it in the dishwasher. Dish soap will strip the “seasoning,” accumulated textures and flavor from cooking off the pan.

All it requires is a light rinse with warm water after every use, as well as an oil “seasoning” to keep it from drying out.

If you do need to scrub your cast-iron pan, use kosher salt and water.

Bedspreads

Larger bedspreads, like comforters and quilts, can go three months without a good wash. When it’s time to wash, you might need to take them to a cleaner, depending on their size and fabric care tag.

Your bedsheets and pillowcases should get washed every month, however. You should also wash your pillows at least twice a year. As for your mattress, mattress pads can be washed twice a year, while the actual mattress can be cleaned by sprinkling a light coating of baking soda on the surface. Let the baking soda absorb into the mattress fibers, then vacuum up the remaining baking soda.

10 Things You’re Not Cleaning Enough

Instead of focusing on the areas of your home that should be be cleaned on a biweekly or monthly basis, focus on those that need cleaning on a daily or at least weekly basis.

Debra Johnson suggested that your kitchen is the main priority when cleaning.

“This especially applies if you are cooking meals at home, as you want to ensure that nothing sticky is left on your countertops and that bacteria isn’t spread across the room,” Johnson said.

Let’s take a look at some areas you should be cleaning on a daily or weekly basis.

Microwave

You should wipe down your microwave at least once a week. Caked-on food particles can cause overheating and damage to your microwave if not addressed immediately.

Take a microfiber cloth and hot water and wipe it down, spot-cleaning spills and splashes in between. You can also use white vinegar to disinfect the microwave interior.

Bathroom Surfaces

Your bathroom surfaces, like your countertops, toilet, shower and floor, need to be wiped down every day to prevent bacteria growth.

You should also make it a habit to wipe down your shower after every use, because water left standing in your tub can cause mildew and mold growth if not cleaned regularly.

You can use white vinegar to disinfect the surfaces of your bathroom. It’s natural and safer than bleach cleaning products.

Electronics

Electronics, like your laptop or computer, remote control and home phone, can collect germs and bacteria and rarely get cleaned.

Dust, crumbs and dirt can lodge into the cracks of your keyboard, making it an underrated dirty surface in your home. Purchase a can of compressed air to dislodge any particles in the cracks of your keyboard, then wipe it down with a microfiber cloth lightly damped with rubbing alcohol at least once a week.

Your cell phone or home phone can be wiped down with antiseptic alcohol wipes. You don’t want to overly wet the surface of your phone and cause damage, so a light cleaning every week will do.

Lastly, your remote control should be cleaned at least once a week as well. You can also use antiseptic alcohol wipes for your remote.

Kitchen Countertops and Sink

Your kitchen countertops and sink need to be cleaned daily. Bacteria thrives in wet areas of your home, so places like your bathroom and kitchen should be wiped down and sanitized to prevent it from spreading to nearby surfaces of your home.

To make sure you address the bacteria in your kitchen, use white vinegar to sanitize and disinfect every surface.

Make it a habit to clean these surfaces daily, even if you don’t cook a meal in your home every day.

Trash Can

The most common odors in your kitchen come from your trash can. Food and liquids can easily ooze their way out of the trash bag and sit at the bottom of the bin. The smell will be there no matter how many times you change your trash bag, so make it a habit to clean your trash can once every week to get rid of any particles that may have found their way to the bottom.

When you go to take out your trash, use disinfecting wipes on the outer and inner walls of the can and sprinkle baking soda at the bottom of the bin, then spray an all-purpose cleaner on top. Use a microfiber cloth to wipe up the baking soda and spray.

Dishwasher

The inside of your dishwasher can collect food particles, grease and soap scum that may end up clogging your dishwasher drain. Not to mention, if you let the food sit in there long enough, it can become odorous or get lodged onto your clean dishes during a cycle.

Make it a habit to wipe down your dishwasher after every cycle, or at least once every week. Sprinkle a cup of baking soda onto the bottom of your empty dishwasher and let it sit overnight. The baking soda will deodorize the machine.

The next morning, add a cup of vinegar to the dishwasher and run the cycle on the hottest setting available.

Door Handles and Switches

Without even thinking about it, we’re constantly touching areas in our home, like doorknobs, drawer handles, light switches and other fixtures. Over time, these areas become hubs for germs and bacteria if they’re not cleaned on a regular basis.

Once a month, take a microfiber cloth and white vinegar and wipe down these places in your home. Go room by room, careful to not miss a switch plate.

Sponges

Any porous cleaning supplies you have, like sponges, can collect a ton of bacteria. Think about it – your sponge comes into contact with everything filthy in your home: your dishes, sink, countertops, toilet and shower.

Make sure once a week to disinfect your cleaning sponges with white vinegar. You can also throw your sponge in with your dishes in the dishwasher.

A more sustainable solution would be to swap your sponges with microfiber cloths. They’re just as effective as cleaners but don’t hold as much bacteria as sponges do.

Washing Machine

Once a month, you need to clean the inside of your washing machine. Dirt from clothes, soap scum and other bacteria can grow in the wet inside of a washing machine.

Add a cup of white vinegar to the detergent drawer and run an empty cycle on the hottest setting available. This will disinfect and deodorize the inside of your machine.

Additionally, you should clean out your dryer lint catcher after every cycle to prevent dryer fires.

Coffee Pot

Even as a coffee lover, I fall short when it comes to cleaning my coffee makers. Once a month, you need to clean your coffee maker to remove debris from the ground beans, hard water and lime deposits that can build up in the machine.

Most coffee makers will come with a cleaning system that you can run by pouring clean, hot water in the basin and letting it run on the hottest setting.

You can also add half white vinegar and half water to the mix to disinfect the inside. However, you’ll need to repeat the cleaning at least two times afterward to remove any remaining vinegar in the coffee maker. Then place the coffee filter basket into your dishwasher and run it on the hottest cycle.

Create a Realistic Schedule for Cleaning Your House

It might seem overwhelming to clean every week or even every day, but staying on top of the messes in your home will eliminate the hours from your weekend spent deep-cleaning your house.

The good news is you can save money on cleaning products by using natural cleaners found in your home. Johnson asserts that the most effective cleaners at your disposal are rubbing alcohol, white vinegar and water. You can even make a DIY all-purpose cleaning solution from mixing one quarter cup of vinegar and a gallon of water.

She also suggests stocking up on microfiber cloths, as they’re the most universal material for household cleaning.

“It’s best to color-code your microfiber cloths for different tasks – one color for dusting, another for cleaning floors, a third for glass surfaces and one cloth designated for bathrooms,” Johnson recommended.

Your next step is to create a realistic schedule for cleaning and maintaining your home. Good Housekeeping offers a helpful graphic for daily, weekly and monthly cleaning tasks.

Setting up a solid schedule will help you prioritize the areas in your home that you’re not cleaning enough and give you a break from the places you’re currently cleaning too much.

Do you have any cleaning tips for our readers? What’s one area of your home you found out you’re cleaning too much? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!

The post 10 Things in Your Home That You’re Cleaning Too Much (or Not Enough) appeared first on ZING Blog by Quicken Loans.

from Updates About Loans https://www.quickenloans.com/blog/10-things-home-youre-cleaning-much-not-enough

[aaronsniderus]

10 Things in Your Home That You’re Cleaning Too Much (or Not Enough)

I’m slowly becoming the cleaning authority for this blog – and I love it! While most might recoil at the thought of cleaning in any capacity, it’s actually a way in which I de-stress. It’s never felt like a chore for me; in fact, I clean my house almost every day.

At first, I thought this was great. My home is perpetually tidy and organized, so I thought to myself, “I’ve got this whole adult thing down!” That is, until I learned there’s actually a thing as too clean (sounds fake, but okay).

After doing some digging, I found 10 common items in the home that are actually overcleaned. While, on the surface, this doesn’t sound like a bad thing, it may be causing some unwanted damage. Let’s take a look at what chores you need to scale back on and what you should be prioritizing instead. Some might even surprise you!

How Often Should I Clean My House?

The short answer is daily.

I know, I just contradicted my title, but in reality, there are tasks you need to do on a daily basis to keep your house neat and functional.

If your bed is unmade, don’t wait until it’s laundry day to get your sheets in order. If your kitchen floor is collecting crumbs, don’t wait until your designated cleaning day to sweep it up. Just do it!

Beyond that, it really varies from homeowner to homeowner. You’ll need to determine the purpose of the room and how frequently you use it.

If homeowners took time every day to do small but impactful chores around their house, it would cut down on the time spent on their actual chore day. Which brings me to my next point: time.

How Much Time Should I Spend Cleaning My House?

Realistically, if you’re tidying up your home on the daily, it should only take between 15 – 30 minutes to keep your house in order. According to Good Housekeeping, the two areas of your home that requiring daily cleaning are your kitchen and bathroom.

Keep in mind that this could vary according to the homeowner. Again, you’ll need to consider how frequently you use the area. If you find that you don’t cook a meal every day, you might not have to clean your kitchen as often.

If you clean your home only once a week or biweekly, you’ll find it will take longer to get the job done. Based on the size of your house and the severity of the mess, it could be 2 – 3 hours out of your day dedicated to cleaning.

That’s why most cleaning experts recommend at least 15 – 30 minutes spent cleaning and tidying your home every day. The more you get into this habit, the less time you’ll spend on a weekly or monthly basis.

10 Things You’re Cleaning Too Much

If you find that your cleaning tasks are taking longer than expected, there might be things in your home that you’re cleaning more often than necessary. While “too clean” is never a bad thing, you could be actually be causing damage from overcleaning or cleaning with the wrong product.

“In general, Americans have a perception of using a product on everything that needs to be cleaned, which oftentimes isn’t necessary,” explained Debra Johnson, home cleaning expert at Merry Maids.

Let’s break down the top offenders.

Wood Furniture

Wood polish, when used excessively, can cause damage to the finish. Additionally, wax-based wood polish can lead to an oily buildup that traps more dust and dirt.

Your wood furniture requires a good cleaning only once a month using a furniture polish that’s wax- and silicone-free; otherwise, it will just need a light dusting with a dry cloth every other week.

Windows

Windows need to be cleaned one – two times a year. You can spot-clean as needed, but beyond that, overcleaning your windows can lead to streaking and dirt buildup.

It may also be a sign of a larger issue. Instead of obsessively wiping down your windows indoors, take a power washer or a squeegee with hot water and clean the outside of them.

Upholstered Furniture

Upholstered furniture should be cleaned only by a professional just once a year. It requires a steam cleaning and proper cleaning products that are better off in the hands of a pro.

What you can do is take a vacuum accessory, like a tube or a brush attachment, and clean beneath and on top of the cushions for crumbs and other loose dirt and dust.

Don’t attempt a DIY cleaning with a product. If you use too much cleaner or overwet the surface of your furniture, it can cause mold and mildew growth in the cushions.

Large Kitchen Appliances

While it’s best practice to wipe down your kitchen surfaces on the daily, there are a few appliances that don’t need as much attention as others.

Unless there’s a smell or large spill, you need to deep-clean your refrigerator only once a month. Keeping up on expired food or spills can help minimize the bulk of the cleaning. Make sure to use disinfecting wipes to eliminate any bacteria that may be lurking in your vegetable or meat drawers.

Your oven or range will need deep cleaning just two – three times a year. If you keep up on spills, it should last pretty long between cleans. When you do one, use a deep-cleaning spray or cream. But don’t use a scraping tool or scouring brush, as it could damage the lining.

While overcleaning these two appliances won’t cause damage, creating an appropriate amount of space between cleanings will free up more time to address more pressing areas of your kitchen, like your floors or countertops.

Carpets and Rugs

Your carpet is another area that requires a professional cleaning with a steam cleaner at least once a year.

You can do it yourself, but avoid overwetting the carpet fibers, as it could cause mildew and mold growth beneath the surface.

Otherwise, vacuum the carpet and rugs once a week to collect crumbs and address stains and spots when they occur. Instead of chemicals, use soap, water and vinegar to clean stains, since they won’t damage the carpet fibers.

Fixtures

Ceiling fans, lighting fixtures and other hanging or mounted accessories need to be cleaned only once a month with a microfiber cloth.

For glass fixtures, you can use warm water to wipe off any caked-on dust or grime that might have accumulated, but if you’re staying on top of dusting once a month, it shouldn’t take too much elbow grease.

Tile Grout

While you should wipe down your bathroom and kitchen floor on a weekly basis, scrubbing your tile floors, backsplashes and walls to the grout can be pushed back to a monthly task.

You also don’t want to wash tile with too much water, as it can get into the cracks and grout lines, causing the floor to warp or grow mold. You can use a wet mop every month to do a deep clean, but don’t overwet the mop or floor.

On a weekly basis, you can sweep, dry-mop and spot-clean when necessary.

Baseboards

Your baseboards need a vacuum or duster cleaning once every three months to collect dirt, dust and buildup. You can also use a microfiber cloth to run along the side of your baseboards for tougher-to-reach areas.

Cast-Iron Pans

Never wash a cast-iron pan with soap or put it in the dishwasher. Dish soap will strip the “seasoning,” accumulated textures and flavor from cooking off the pan.

All it requires is a light rinse with warm water after every use, as well as an oil “seasoning” to keep it from drying out.

If you do need to scrub your cast-iron pan, use kosher salt and water.

Bedspreads

Larger bedspreads, like comforters and quilts, can go three months without a good wash. When it’s time to wash, you might need to take them to a cleaner, depending on their size and fabric care tag.

Your bedsheets and pillowcases should get washed every month, however. You should also wash your pillows at least twice a year. As for your mattress, mattress pads can be washed twice a year, while the actual mattress can be cleaned by sprinkling a light coating of baking soda on the surface. Let the baking soda absorb into the mattress fibers, then vacuum up the remaining baking soda.

10 Things You’re Not Cleaning Enough

Instead of focusing on the areas of your home that should be be cleaned on a biweekly or monthly basis, focus on those that need cleaning on a daily or at least weekly basis.

Debra Johnson suggested that your kitchen is the main priority when cleaning.

“This especially applies if you are cooking meals at home, as you want to ensure that nothing sticky is left on your countertops and that bacteria isn’t spread across the room,” Johnson said.

Let’s take a look at some areas you should be cleaning on a daily or weekly basis.

Microwave

You should wipe down your microwave at least once a week. Caked-on food particles can cause overheating and damage to your microwave if not addressed immediately.

Take a microfiber cloth and hot water and wipe it down, spot-cleaning spills and splashes in between. You can also use white vinegar to disinfect the microwave interior.

Bathroom Surfaces

Your bathroom surfaces, like your countertops, toilet, shower and floor, need to be wiped down every day to prevent bacteria growth.

You should also make it a habit to wipe down your shower after every use, because water left standing in your tub can cause mildew and mold growth if not cleaned regularly.

You can use white vinegar to disinfect the surfaces of your bathroom. It’s natural and safer than bleach cleaning products.

Electronics

Electronics, like your laptop or computer, remote control and home phone, can collect germs and bacteria and rarely get cleaned.

Dust, crumbs and dirt can lodge into the cracks of your keyboard, making it an underrated dirty surface in your home. Purchase a can of compressed air to dislodge any particles in the cracks of your keyboard, then wipe it down with a microfiber cloth lightly damped with rubbing alcohol at least once a week.

Your cell phone or home phone can be wiped down with antiseptic alcohol wipes. You don’t want to overly wet the surface of your phone and cause damage, so a light cleaning every week will do.

Lastly, your remote control should be cleaned at least once a week as well. You can also use antiseptic alcohol wipes for your remote.

Kitchen Countertops and Sink

Your kitchen countertops and sink need to be cleaned daily. Bacteria thrives in wet areas of your home, so places like your bathroom and kitchen should be wiped down and sanitized to prevent it from spreading to nearby surfaces of your home.

To make sure you address the bacteria in your kitchen, use white vinegar to sanitize and disinfect every surface.

Make it a habit to clean these surfaces daily, even if you don’t cook a meal in your home every day.

Trash Can

The most common odors in your kitchen come from your trash can. Food and liquids can easily ooze their way out of the trash bag and sit at the bottom of the bin. The smell will be there no matter how many times you change your trash bag, so make it a habit to clean your trash can once every week to get rid of any particles that may have found their way to the bottom.

When you go to take out your trash, use disinfecting wipes on the outer and inner walls of the can and sprinkle baking soda at the bottom of the bin, then spray an all-purpose cleaner on top. Use a microfiber cloth to wipe up the baking soda and spray.

Dishwasher

The inside of your dishwasher can collect food particles, grease and soap scum that may end up clogging your dishwasher drain. Not to mention, if you let the food sit in there long enough, it can become odorous or get lodged onto your clean dishes during a cycle.

Make it a habit to wipe down your dishwasher after every cycle, or at least once every week. Sprinkle a cup of baking soda onto the bottom of your empty dishwasher and let it sit overnight. The baking soda will deodorize the machine.

The next morning, add a cup of vinegar to the dishwasher and run the cycle on the hottest setting available.

Door Handles and Switches

Without even thinking about it, we’re constantly touching areas in our home, like doorknobs, drawer handles, light switches and other fixtures. Over time, these areas become hubs for germs and bacteria if they’re not cleaned on a regular basis.

Once a month, take a microfiber cloth and white vinegar and wipe down these places in your home. Go room by room, careful to not miss a switch plate.

Sponges

Any porous cleaning supplies you have, like sponges, can collect a ton of bacteria. Think about it – your sponge comes into contact with everything filthy in your home: your dishes, sink, countertops, toilet and shower.

Make sure once a week to disinfect your cleaning sponges with white vinegar. You can also throw your sponge in with your dishes in the dishwasher.

A more sustainable solution would be to swap your sponges with microfiber cloths. They’re just as effective as cleaners but don’t hold as much bacteria as sponges do.

Washing Machine

Once a month, you need to clean the inside of your washing machine. Dirt from clothes, soap scum and other bacteria can grow in the wet inside of a washing machine.

Add a cup of white vinegar to the detergent drawer and run an empty cycle on the hottest setting available. This will disinfect and deodorize the inside of your machine.

Additionally, you should clean out your dryer lint catcher after every cycle to prevent dryer fires.

Coffee Pot

Even as a coffee lover, I fall short when it comes to cleaning my coffee makers. Once a month, you need to clean your coffee maker to remove debris from the ground beans, hard water and lime deposits that can build up in the machine.

Most coffee makers will come with a cleaning system that you can run by pouring clean, hot water in the basin and letting it run on the hottest setting.

You can also add half white vinegar and half water to the mix to disinfect the inside. However, you’ll need to repeat the cleaning at least two times afterward to remove any remaining vinegar in the coffee maker. Then place the coffee filter basket into your dishwasher and run it on the hottest cycle.

Create a Realistic Schedule for Cleaning Your House

It might seem overwhelming to clean every week or even every day, but staying on top of the messes in your home will eliminate the hours from your weekend spent deep-cleaning your house.

The good news is you can save money on cleaning products by using natural cleaners found in your home. Johnson asserts that the most effective cleaners at your disposal are rubbing alcohol, white vinegar and water. You can even make a DIY all-purpose cleaning solution from mixing one quarter cup of vinegar and a gallon of water.

She also suggests stocking up on microfiber cloths, as they’re the most universal material for household cleaning.

“It’s best to color-code your microfiber cloths for different tasks – one color for dusting, another for cleaning floors, a third for glass surfaces and one cloth designated for bathrooms,” Johnson recommended.

Your next step is to create a realistic schedule for cleaning and maintaining your home. Good Housekeeping offers a helpful graphic for daily, weekly and monthly cleaning tasks.

Setting up a solid schedule will help you prioritize the areas in your home that you’re not cleaning enough and give you a break from the places you’re currently cleaning too much.

Do you have any cleaning tips for our readers? What’s one area of your home you found out you’re cleaning too much? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!

The post 10 Things in Your Home That You’re Cleaning Too Much (or Not Enough) appeared first on ZING Blog by Quicken Loans.

from Updates About Loans https://www.quickenloans.com/blog/10-things-home-youre-cleaning-much-not-enough

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10 Things in Your Home That You’re Cleaning Too Much (or Not Enough)

I’m slowly becoming the cleaning authority for this blog – and I love it! While most might recoil at the thought of cleaning in any capacity, it’s actually a way in which I de-stress. It’s never felt like a chore for me; in fact, I clean my house almost every day.

At first, I thought this was great. My home is perpetually tidy and organized, so I thought to myself, “I’ve got this whole adult thing down!” That is, until I learned there’s actually a thing as too clean (sounds fake, but okay).

After doing some digging, I found 10 common items in the home that are actually overcleaned. While, on the surface, this doesn’t sound like a bad thing, it may be causing some unwanted damage. Let’s take a look at what chores you need to scale back on and what you should be prioritizing instead. Some might even surprise you!

How Often Should I Clean My House?

The short answer is daily.

I know, I just contradicted my title, but in reality, there are tasks you need to do on a daily basis to keep your house neat and functional.

If your bed is unmade, don’t wait until it’s laundry day to get your sheets in order. If your kitchen floor is collecting crumbs, don’t wait until your designated cleaning day to sweep it up. Just do it!

Beyond that, it really varies from homeowner to homeowner. You’ll need to determine the purpose of the room and how frequently you use it.

If homeowners took time every day to do small but impactful chores around their house, it would cut down on the time spent on their actual chore day. Which brings me to my next point: time.

How Much Time Should I Spend Cleaning My House?

Realistically, if you’re tidying up your home on the daily, it should only take between 15 – 30 minutes to keep your house in order. According to Good Housekeeping, the two areas of your home that requiring daily cleaning are your kitchen and bathroom.

Keep in mind that this could vary according to the homeowner. Again, you’ll need to consider how frequently you use the area. If you find that you don’t cook a meal every day, you might not have to clean your kitchen as often.

If you clean your home only once a week or biweekly, you’ll find it will take longer to get the job done. Based on the size of your house and the severity of the mess, it could be 2 – 3 hours out of your day dedicated to cleaning.

That’s why most cleaning experts recommend at least 15 – 30 minutes spent cleaning and tidying your home every day. The more you get into this habit, the less time you’ll spend on a weekly or monthly basis.

10 Things You’re Cleaning Too Much

If you find that your cleaning tasks are taking longer than expected, there might be things in your home that you’re cleaning more often than necessary. While “too clean” is never a bad thing, you could be actually be causing damage from overcleaning or cleaning with the wrong product.

“In general, Americans have a perception of using a product on everything that needs to be cleaned, which oftentimes isn’t necessary,” explained Debra Johnson, home cleaning expert at Merry Maids.

Let’s break down the top offenders.

Wood Furniture

Wood polish, when used excessively, can cause damage to the finish. Additionally, wax-based wood polish can lead to an oily buildup that traps more dust and dirt.

Your wood furniture requires a good cleaning only once a month using a furniture polish that’s wax- and silicone-free; otherwise, it will just need a light dusting with a dry cloth every other week.

Windows

Windows need to be cleaned one – two times a year. You can spot-clean as needed, but beyond that, overcleaning your windows can lead to streaking and dirt buildup.

It may also be a sign of a larger issue. Instead of obsessively wiping down your windows indoors, take a power washer or a squeegee with hot water and clean the outside of them.

Upholstered Furniture

Upholstered furniture should be cleaned only by a professional just once a year. It requires a steam cleaning and proper cleaning products that are better off in the hands of a pro.

What you can do is take a vacuum accessory, like a tube or a brush attachment, and clean beneath and on top of the cushions for crumbs and other loose dirt and dust.

Don’t attempt a DIY cleaning with a product. If you use too much cleaner or overwet the surface of your furniture, it can cause mold and mildew growth in the cushions.

Large Kitchen Appliances

While it’s best practice to wipe down your kitchen surfaces on the daily, there are a few appliances that don’t need as much attention as others.

Unless there’s a smell or large spill, you need to deep-clean your refrigerator only once a month. Keeping up on expired food or spills can help minimize the bulk of the cleaning. Make sure to use disinfecting wipes to eliminate any bacteria that may be lurking in your vegetable or meat drawers.

Your oven or range will need deep cleaning just two – three times a year. If you keep up on spills, it should last pretty long between cleans. When you do one, use a deep-cleaning spray or cream. But don’t use a scraping tool or scouring brush, as it could damage the lining.

While overcleaning these two appliances won’t cause damage, creating an appropriate amount of space between cleanings will free up more time to address more pressing areas of your kitchen, like your floors or countertops.

Carpets and Rugs

Your carpet is another area that requires a professional cleaning with a steam cleaner at least once a year.

You can do it yourself, but avoid overwetting the carpet fibers, as it could cause mildew and mold growth beneath the surface.

Otherwise, vacuum the carpet and rugs once a week to collect crumbs and address stains and spots when they occur. Instead of chemicals, use soap, water and vinegar to clean stains, since they won’t damage the carpet fibers.

Fixtures

Ceiling fans, lighting fixtures and other hanging or mounted accessories need to be cleaned only once a month with a microfiber cloth.

For glass fixtures, you can use warm water to wipe off any caked-on dust or grime that might have accumulated, but if you’re staying on top of dusting once a month, it shouldn’t take too much elbow grease.

Tile Grout

While you should wipe down your bathroom and kitchen floor on a weekly basis, scrubbing your tile floors, backsplashes and walls to the grout can be pushed back to a monthly task.

You also don’t want to wash tile with too much water, as it can get into the cracks and grout lines, causing the floor to warp or grow mold. You can use a wet mop every month to do a deep clean, but don’t overwet the mop or floor.

On a weekly basis, you can sweep, dry-mop and spot-clean when necessary.

Baseboards

Your baseboards need a vacuum or duster cleaning once every three months to collect dirt, dust and buildup. You can also use a microfiber cloth to run along the side of your baseboards for tougher-to-reach areas.

Cast-Iron Pans

Never wash a cast-iron pan with soap or put it in the dishwasher. Dish soap will strip the “seasoning,” accumulated textures and flavor from cooking off the pan.

All it requires is a light rinse with warm water after every use, as well as an oil “seasoning” to keep it from drying out.

If you do need to scrub your cast-iron pan, use kosher salt and water.

Bedspreads

Larger bedspreads, like comforters and quilts, can go three months without a good wash. When it’s time to wash, you might need to take them to a cleaner, depending on their size and fabric care tag.

Your bedsheets and pillowcases should get washed every month, however. You should also wash your pillows at least twice a year. As for your mattress, mattress pads can be washed twice a year, while the actual mattress can be cleaned by sprinkling a light coating of baking soda on the surface. Let the baking soda absorb into the mattress fibers, then vacuum up the remaining baking soda.

10 Things You’re Not Cleaning Enough

Instead of focusing on the areas of your home that should be be cleaned on a biweekly or monthly basis, focus on those that need cleaning on a daily or at least weekly basis.

Debra Johnson suggested that your kitchen is the main priority when cleaning.

“This especially applies if you are cooking meals at home, as you want to ensure that nothing sticky is left on your countertops and that bacteria isn’t spread across the room,” Johnson said.

Let’s take a look at some areas you should be cleaning on a daily or weekly basis.

Microwave

You should wipe down your microwave at least once a week. Caked-on food particles can cause overheating and damage to your microwave if not addressed immediately.

Take a microfiber cloth and hot water and wipe it down, spot-cleaning spills and splashes in between. You can also use white vinegar to disinfect the microwave interior.

Bathroom Surfaces

Your bathroom surfaces, like your countertops, toilet, shower and floor, need to be wiped down every day to prevent bacteria growth.

You should also make it a habit to wipe down your shower after every use, because water left standing in your tub can cause mildew and mold growth if not cleaned regularly.

You can use white vinegar to disinfect the surfaces of your bathroom. It’s natural and safer than bleach cleaning products.

Electronics

Electronics, like your laptop or computer, remote control and home phone, can collect germs and bacteria and rarely get cleaned.

Dust, crumbs and dirt can lodge into the cracks of your keyboard, making it an underrated dirty surface in your home. Purchase a can of compressed air to dislodge any particles in the cracks of your keyboard, then wipe it down with a microfiber cloth lightly damped with rubbing alcohol at least once a week.

Your cell phone or home phone can be wiped down with antiseptic alcohol wipes. You don’t want to overly wet the surface of your phone and cause damage, so a light cleaning every week will do.

Lastly, your remote control should be cleaned at least once a week as well. You can also use antiseptic alcohol wipes for your remote.

Kitchen Countertops and Sink

Your kitchen countertops and sink need to be cleaned daily. Bacteria thrives in wet areas of your home, so places like your bathroom and kitchen should be wiped down and sanitized to prevent it from spreading to nearby surfaces of your home.

To make sure you address the bacteria in your kitchen, use white vinegar to sanitize and disinfect every surface.

Make it a habit to clean these surfaces daily, even if you don’t cook a meal in your home every day.

Trash Can

The most common odors in your kitchen come from your trash can. Food and liquids can easily ooze their way out of the trash bag and sit at the bottom of the bin. The smell will be there no matter how many times you change your trash bag, so make it a habit to clean your trash can once every week to get rid of any particles that may have found their way to the bottom.

When you go to take out your trash, use disinfecting wipes on the outer and inner walls of the can and sprinkle baking soda at the bottom of the bin, then spray an all-purpose cleaner on top. Use a microfiber cloth to wipe up the baking soda and spray.

Dishwasher

The inside of your dishwasher can collect food particles, grease and soap scum that may end up clogging your dishwasher drain. Not to mention, if you let the food sit in there long enough, it can become odorous or get lodged onto your clean dishes during a cycle.

Make it a habit to wipe down your dishwasher after every cycle, or at least once every week. Sprinkle a cup of baking soda onto the bottom of your empty dishwasher and let it sit overnight. The baking soda will deodorize the machine.

The next morning, add a cup of vinegar to the dishwasher and run the cycle on the hottest setting available.

Door Handles and Switches

Without even thinking about it, we’re constantly touching areas in our home, like doorknobs, drawer handles, light switches and other fixtures. Over time, these areas become hubs for germs and bacteria if they’re not cleaned on a regular basis.

Once a month, take a microfiber cloth and white vinegar and wipe down these places in your home. Go room by room, careful to not miss a switch plate.

Sponges

Any porous cleaning supplies you have, like sponges, can collect a ton of bacteria. Think about it – your sponge comes into contact with everything filthy in your home: your dishes, sink, countertops, toilet and shower.

Make sure once a week to disinfect your cleaning sponges with white vinegar. You can also throw your sponge in with your dishes in the dishwasher.

A more sustainable solution would be to swap your sponges with microfiber cloths. They’re just as effective as cleaners but don’t hold as much bacteria as sponges do.

Washing Machine

Once a month, you need to clean the inside of your washing machine. Dirt from clothes, soap scum and other bacteria can grow in the wet inside of a washing machine.

Add a cup of white vinegar to the detergent drawer and run an empty cycle on the hottest setting available. This will disinfect and deodorize the inside of your machine.

Additionally, you should clean out your dryer lint catcher after every cycle to prevent dryer fires.

Coffee Pot

Even as a coffee lover, I fall short when it comes to cleaning my coffee makers. Once a month, you need to clean your coffee maker to remove debris from the ground beans, hard water and lime deposits that can build up in the machine.

Most coffee makers will come with a cleaning system that you can run by pouring clean, hot water in the basin and letting it run on the hottest setting.

You can also add half white vinegar and half water to the mix to disinfect the inside. However, you’ll need to repeat the cleaning at least two times afterward to remove any remaining vinegar in the coffee maker. Then place the coffee filter basket into your dishwasher and run it on the hottest cycle.

Create a Realistic Schedule for Cleaning Your House

It might seem overwhelming to clean every week or even every day, but staying on top of the messes in your home will eliminate the hours from your weekend spent deep-cleaning your house.

The good news is you can save money on cleaning products by using natural cleaners found in your home. Johnson asserts that the most effective cleaners at your disposal are rubbing alcohol, white vinegar and water. You can even make a DIY all-purpose cleaning solution from mixing one quarter cup of vinegar and a gallon of water.

She also suggests stocking up on microfiber cloths, as they’re the most universal material for household cleaning.

“It’s best to color-code your microfiber cloths for different tasks – one color for dusting, another for cleaning floors, a third for glass surfaces and one cloth designated for bathrooms,” Johnson recommended.

Your next step is to create a realistic schedule for cleaning and maintaining your home. Good Housekeeping offers a helpful graphic for daily, weekly and monthly cleaning tasks.

Setting up a solid schedule will help you prioritize the areas in your home that you’re not cleaning enough and give you a break from the places you’re currently cleaning too much.

Do you have any cleaning tips for our readers? What’s one area of your home you found out you’re cleaning too much? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!

The post 10 Things in Your Home That You’re Cleaning Too Much (or Not Enough) appeared first on ZING Blog by Quicken Loans.

from Updates About Loans https://www.quickenloans.com/blog/10-things-home-youre-cleaning-much-not-enough

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How to Make a Podcast

More people are listening to podcasts than ever before. According to Edison Research study, the number of American's who listen to a podcast every week has actually grown 100% over the past 4 years, and 67 million American's listen to a podcast every month.

As the audience for podcasts continues to grow, there has actually never ever been a much better time to begin a podcast for your church, business, or a personal hobby. If you follow this guide, you'll be primed to introduce your own podcast and take advantage of this exciting brand-new medium.

Podcasts are a fantastic method to develop an authentic connection with your audience. Rather of the fractured connection you make through social networks, podcasts enable you to engage your audience with distinct long-form content. And podcasts are easier than post: people can listen to podcasts while driving, exercising, or simply doing chores around your house.

There is also a lot of undiscovered area in podcasting. As of 2018, there are close to 50 million YouTube channels,1 440 million blog sites,2 Just over 550,000 podcasts listed in Apple Podcasts.3 That indicates for every single podcast there are 800 blogs and 90 YouTube channels. Imagine the extraordinary opportunity there was to begin a blog in 2004 and you'll have a concept of where podcasting is today. Action 1: Establish your podcast principle How to choose a title, format, and theme for your podcast Podcasts are as differed as the people that produce them: there are great podcasts about history, pop-culture,

neuroscience, and an imaginary town where aliens are buddies with the Yeti.4 The only limitation to what you can do with a podcast is your own imagination. Prior to we start tackling questions about podcast name, format, and length, we'll desire to think about a couple more essential concerns. To begin, you'll require to ask yourself"Why am I beginning a podcast?"and"What is my podcast about? "Once you've addressed the why and what for your podcast, the remainder of the principle will fall into place. Why are you beginning a podcast? The very first concern to deal with is"why are you beginning a podcast?"To phrase it another method," what's your objective or function for the podcast?"To help

you get going, here are

some typical goals in podcasting: To generate leads for a company To be acknowledged as a leader in an industry To share an crucial message To have fun It's great to compose your answer down so you can refer back to it as you establish

your podcast concept. What is your podcast

about? The 2nd question is deciding what your

podcast is about. It can be as broad

as pop-culture or

as focused as conversations about current Supreme Court judgments.5 The only requirement is that the topic needs to be something you're enthusiastic about-- something you're excited to research study and talk about regularly. Once you have a concept of what to podcast about, it's an excellent idea to do some marketing research. Browse Apple Podcasts and see if there are already some podcasts because area. If there are, listen to a handful of episodes to see what they're doing well and consider ways they might improve. What's the very best format for a podcast? Some podcasts just have a single host, others are scripted stories, and others feature in-depth interviews. The most important thing to keep in mind is that the format must fit what your podcast has to do with and be a format you're comfy with. Here are a few of the most common podcast

formats: Interview podcasts: These are podcasts

with a single host who interviews individuals in a particular industry. Examples: The Joe Rogan Experience, Fresh Air, and Trained by Nike. Scripted non-fiction: These programs are mostly serial podcasts that have a single style for a full season.

Examples: Serial, Slow Burn, and Hardcore History. News wrap-up: A podcast that evaluates the news in a particular industry. Examples: The Daily, Kickass News, or World Loan. Educational podcasts: These are scripted non-fiction shows that concentrate on teaching their audience.

Examples: Things You Must Know, Hidden Brain, and TED radio hour. Scripted fiction: These podcasts are most similar to radio dramas and are typically scripted

and extremely produced. Examples: Bubble by Maximum Fun, Limetown, and Everything Is Alive. How do I choose a name for my podcast? While Shakespeare

might have believed"a rose by any other name would smell as sweet", he never had to rank for keywords in Apple Podcasts. When you're picking a podcast name, you'll wish to select something that's

catchy, unforgettable, and will rank for keywords that are pertinent to your podcast. Here's Apple's recommendations on how to select an excellent title for your podcast: Pay very close attention to the title, author, and description tags at the' 'and''level of your podcast. Apple Podcasts utilizes title, author, and description fields for search. The metadata for your podcast, along with your podcast

artwork, is your product packaging and can impact whether your podcast appears in relevant searches, and how likely users are to register for it.Make your title specific. A podcast named Our Community Publication is too unclear to draw in many customers, no matter how engaging the material. You don't want to pack your title with keywords, however you wish to make it simple for people to find your podcast. If you have a one or two-word podcast name you must add an actually short description in the title tag. Here are a couple examples: Akimbo: A Podcast from Seth Godin. The majority of people searching for this podcast will most likely look for Seth Godin. That's why it's crucial to include his name in the podcast title.

Syntax-Delicious Web Advancement Treats. There most likely aren't many individuals searching for "Syntax"in Apple Podcasts that haven't currently become aware of this program, however by adding

"tasty web advancement deals with" the podcast can appear if somebody searches for "Web Development. "For how long should podcast episodes be? Do not let individuals tell you there is an optimum length for a podcast episode. Have a look through the leading podcasts

and you'll find shows like The Daily that are 20-30 minutes long, Accidental Tech Podcast that averages about 2 hours per episode, and Hardcore History with episodes that are as long as some audiobooks

. Your podcast ought to be as long as it needs to be, without being any longer. Be comfy with eliminating rambling sections, boring questions, and parts that don't include much value to the listener. However if you're producing great material, be confident that people will keep listening. Action 2: Get some

recording devices and software Podcasts are amazing since they have such a low barrier to entry. You can start tape-recording a podcast with your iPhone earphones and grow your method into a$20,000 podcast studio. Simply keep in mind, your content is the most fundamental part. Nobody listens to a dull podcast even if it has great sound quality. What's the finest podcast equipment? Selecting the very best podcasting setup can get complicated, specifically if you do not have a background in audio recording. To make it simple, we coordinated with Anthony Tran from Marketing Gain access to Pass to create three podcast equipment bundles so you can discover the ideal setup for your budget.

What's the very best podcasting software

? As soon as you have actually taped your podcast, you're going to desire to make some edits and changes to get the best sound quality possible. The excellent news is that podcast editing software application is surprisingly budget friendly. Here are our recommendations: Audacity-Free- Mac, Windows, & Linux Audacity is a totally free and open-source audio editor. It features pro-level features so that

your podcast software will not hold you back. There are versions for Apple, Windows, and Linux computers. The only drawback is that it has a high knowing curve, but there are lots of videos and online tutorials to help. GarageBand -Free- Mac & iOS GarageBand comes pre-installed on a lot of Apple

computers. If you don't have it, then you'll be able to download it for free. It's a bit easier to begin utilizing GarageBand than Audacity, but regrettably, it's restricted to Apple devices."> Hindenburg -$95-Mac and Windows Hindenburg is pro-level audio editing software application for radio and podcasts. It isn't as inexpensive as Audacity, however it provides a lot of built-in podcasting features. We advise starting with a 30-day trial on the Hindenburg Journalist version. Action 3: Tape your very first episode When individuals ask Stephen King how to become a great author, he constantly informs them to begin by becoming a terrific reader. In the very same vein, you'll end up being a terrific podcaster by listening to podcasts

. If you don't listen to podcasts & already, start by signing up for a handful and listening to some episodes. How to compose a podcast summary One of the greatest errors new podcasters make is that they tend to ramble. The finest method to combat this tendency is to compose a podcast outline. You do not need to compose

our your podcast verbatim, however taking 15 minutes to sketch out an episode with bullet points will lead to a remarkable improvement. If you're working with a co-host, share the overview with them so you can deal with it together. Now you'll be on the same page and prevent your discussion from going down a rabbit hole.

How to pick the finest location to tape your

podcast While you may truly take pleasure in singing in the shower, tape-recording in little areas with difficult, flat surfaces will often imply a more resonant sounding recording. If possible, you'll wish to record in a quiet, large room with plenty of space around you. If a small space is the just one offered, look for one with less reflective surfaces or lots of product that can

absorb or diffuse the sound: furniture, carpets, or perhaps a closet loaded with clothing can help. This means that for a great deal of podcasters, the best location to record is in their walk-in closet. Choosing the very best location to record is more vital than selecting the ideal earphones or editing software application. The simplest way to deal with audio problems

is to avoid them from happening in the very first place. If you get a crisp recording to start with, you'll be much closer to a sleek recording. Cleanly taped audio will make the technical aspects of editing and blending in the next step a lot easier. How to set up

a microphone for a podcast To get your microphone all set to tape-record you'll need to link it to your computer or audio recording gadget. For simplicity, we advise buying a USB microphone unless you have experience with audio devices. USB Microphones: Plug your microphone directly into a USB port on your computer. Once plugged in, go into the settings of your audio editing software application (Audacity, GarageBand, etc.) and ensure that your microphone is highlighted as your audio input. When you have actually chosen your microphone as your audio input you are ready to tape. How to speak into the microphone We've all

heard sidetracking plosives or" P-Pops" before and cringed at hyper-sibilant "S"sounds. Both of these concerns are triggered by extreme bursts of air striking the microphone pill, which is a symptom of bad mic method. If you observe a lot of plosives or severe sibilance in your recordings, the most basic option is to move off-axis from the microphone. Setting your mic approximately the side, angled slightly toward your mouth, will prevent bursts

of air from striking the capsule straight and can result in a smoother, more natural tone. In basic, you wish to position your mouth 2"- 4" away from the microphone for the cleanest sound, but the ideal range may differ based on your microphone. Attempt recording yourself talking at a constant

volume at a number of different positions. Once you're done, listen to the recording to see which position gave you the best audio quality. Get a beverage and start tape-recording You have actually written your summary, selected a location to record, set up your microphone, and practiced your mic strategy. It's time to grab a beverage and begin recording your first

episode. Having a glass of water, coffee, or

bourbon nearby will do marvels if your voice starts to get dry. Don't worry about errors, stammers, or a little silence. You can make all the necessary edits in the next step. Step 4: Modify and export your episode When everything is recorded, you're on to the modifying

stage. Let your content goals be your guide here-- are you trying to find a leaner, much faster speed? A much shorter runtime? Does it make sense to preserve a conversational dynamic? Is it a narrative format, an interview, a monologue? Determining your goals prior to you start cutting and crossfading will keep your episodes flowing naturally

. Tips to edit your podcast episode Usage crossfades in between clips: Every time you cut a clip/region in your DAW, make sure you insert a crossfade to join adjacent clips. Forgetting crossfades can cause distracting pops or clicks in your published episode. Focus on your breath: Make certain you focus on where you are taking breaths in between sentences. It can be easy, particularly if you're modifying at a low volume, to cut breaths in unnatural ways and trigger a"misstep"or double-breath result. Cut filler words and false starts: When you're editing, you'll most likely start to discover simply how typically"

um," "uh,"and "like" emerge,

or how often speakers begin a sentence prior to they have a complete thought to share. It can assist trim time (and make everyone sound more eloquent) to just delete fillers and false starts completely. Be mindful to maintain inflection, though. If the sentence circulation sounds halted or unnatural, it's much better to

leave it alone. How to export a podcast episode As soon as you have actually finished editing your episode you'll desire to export and

optimize your audio file. You can skip

this section if you host your podcast on Buzzsprout because this is all done immediately when you submit a brand-new episode. What's the very best file type and bitrate for a podcast? Many podcasters export their episodes as mp3s to guarantee compatibility with the most podcast apps. You'll wish to set the bitrate to 64 kbps mono for spoken word podcasts and 128 kbps stereo for podcasts that include music. 64 kbps mono for spoken word 128 kbps stereo for music Do you need ID3 Tags? There are some little advantages to tagging your audio files with ID3 tags.

These tags make sure that your media player has all the right details about the episode. Right now, most podcast apps will get this information from the RSS Feed, but it may be lost if somebody shares the audio file itself. The only drawback is that tagging your audio file can add time to your podcast workflow without enough of a reward. Submit types, bitrates, and ID3 tags on Buzzsprout If you host your podcast on Buzzsprout you do not require to stress anything in this area. You can publish any file type and we'll instantly convert it to the appropriate file type and bitrate. As you include episode details like a title, description, and images, Buzzsprout will instantly tag your files with the suitable ID3 tags. Step 5: Publish your episode to your podcast host Now that you have your last audio file, it

's time to get your podcast online. You're going to require to discover a trustworthy location to host your podcast and a method to create an RSS Feed. Here are the 4 main factors you'll desire to find a dependable podcast host: Bandwidth: It's appealing to utilize the very same server for your website and audio files, but

as soon as you begin to get traction you'll

run the risk of bringing your site down each time

you release a new episode. Embed players: If you have your own website, you'll desire a simple method for individuals to play your episodes from your web pages. Once they listen to a couple of minutes, they'll be able to subscribe to your podcast in their favorite podcast app. Social sharing tools: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all have their own special methods to share audio files on their platforms. You'll wish to share your podcast in a manner that it can be played from within these platforms so you can grow your audience. Hosting your podcast with Buzzsprout Back before we released Buzzsprout we had a small site structure tool developed for churches and non-profits. As podcasts grew in appeal we had great deals of clients ask us for aid in starting a podcast, so in 2009

we introduced Buzzsprout as a simple way to host, promote, and track your podcast. Here's a little what you get with Buzzsprout: Trustworthy podcast hosting Podcasting data Capability to release to Apple Podcasts

, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and more Social sharing tools Automatic file conversion and ID3 tagging Adjustable embed gamers Podcast scheduling And an awesome assistance group You can get all

of this on a totally free Buzzsprout strategy, so you do not need to commit to anything to start podcasting.Step 6: Get listed in Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Spotify Now that you have actually hosted your podcast and produced your RSS Feed, you'll wish to get your podcast out into the world. If you wish to get in front of podcast listeners then you need to get listed in the biggest podcast directories

: Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Spotify. It's a typical misconception that Apple Podcasts( formerly iTunes )hosts your files, but they are in fact a podcast directory. The very best method to describe it is to believe about an address book.

An address book lets you understand where people live

. If you do not have somebody's contact information in your address book, then it's going to be tough to discover where they live. Listing your podcast in these directories will ensure that people can discover your podcast when they search for it. Entering these directory sites is the most crucial step in marketing your podcast

. Here are step-by-step guides to getting listed in the most

essential podcast directory sites:

You might have heard individuals advise getting noted in Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or other podcast directories. These aren't as

essential as Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and

Spotify, however they can offer

another location for your

podcast to get found. Step 7: Never stop

enhancing your podcast If you've made it this far you have actually officially made your own podcast.

Thousands of individuals think of introducing a podcast every month, but

extremely couple of people really follow through with it. Don't slow down now! The most crucial piece is to keep learning and improving your podcast as you launch each brand-new episode. Here are a couple of resources to assist you continue to grow as a podcaster: These thorough posts will assist you tackle a few of the

harder issues in podcasting like developing your site, taping long-distance interviews, and producing your podcast artwork. Sign up with a podcast neighborhood group There are lots of fantastic podcast neighborhood groups where you can fulfill and interact with tons of skilled podcasters. Getting linked to among these groups is an excellent way to ask concerns, get recommendations, and keep up to date with changes in podcasting. Link with your podcast listeners There are a lot of great podcasts about podcasting. Listening to these podcasts is a great way to keep up with market news and get

advice from people who are specialists in the field. Here are a few of our favorites: If

you desire to find one that is more tailored to you, Harry Duran of Podcast Junkies created an awesome list of all the podcasts about podcasting. Are you prepared to begin your podcast? Podcasting is a growing medium that makes it easy to reach

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[usman2480-blog]

Individuality

“…And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

                                                                                                 Khalil Gibran

  Tale of two brothers: A passage to self-awareness and individuality

 What actually makes a human person an individual? That’s a scary question!  But the answer is simple.  What makes a human person an individual are the changes that one goes through and the effects it has on one’s life.  

What shape your beliefs or perhaps your whole identity are the experiences you have and your ability to recall these experiences.   Continuing along this thread, I am here today to talk to you about the importance and relevance of preserving your individual life experiences, events, beliefs, ideas, and family influences.  It is directly because of these attributes that I am an individual today! But it wasn’t always true…

 So, let me tell you, if I could have known perfection, it was my brother! No, really, It was almost as if God said let there be perfection and POOF, there was my brother.  Now for those anxious girls…and/or boys in the audience who are dying to know what my brother could possibly look like, I brought a picture for you all…

 …And God said, let there be perfection, and there was my brother!

I was born at the start of the 80s to my parents, joining my brother a year after his birth.  Many people thought we were twins and as twins or any close-knit siblings growing up, we did everything together.  We bathe together, we ate together, we played together, we wore matching clothes, and we slept on the same bed.  I recall my early childhood years, with my brother, as being full of wonderment, curiosity, and admiration.  

My brother and I would play for hours by building forts using pillows and curtains.  We would protect our kingdom against imaginary foreign intruders and would often intensify our battles by agreeing to be slayed at the hands of our imaginary enemy, just to add more tragedy and glory to our act.    Needless to say, my brother was very good at these activities and it was a lot of fun following his lead.  It was also during these early years of cognitive development that my brother really flourished.  He happily volunteered to be in the front lines, always.  He would accept and often assume responsibility in managing little chores and assignments around the house.  And he would deliver with one hundred percent excellence every time. As a result, he became a natural leader within our family.  

 Now, this would have been a perfect opportunity for me to go the other way.  I mean, if he was responsible, independent, thoughtful, and a leader then I could have been irresponsible, totally dependent, and careless.  But no, I wanted to be just like him and I didn’t just want to copy him in assuming responsibility for chores but I wanted to be like him in sports, studies, and style.    

Through the years, he became an individual, a leader, and a trendsetter and I became his clone, and if there is one thing you don’t do if you want to be an individual it is to not become a clone.  

 Nevertheless and to my credit, I did try my best through the years to avoid becoming my brother’s clone but I could not help it. In fact, I couldn’t resist it.  He was everything I wanted to be.  He was a great athlete, a scholarly student, and debonair dresser.  He had more friends.  He was popular in school and the ladies also liked him.  I knew that accepting his greater sense of exposure and experience would guide me through tough and challenging decisions with ease but I began to rely on him to lead me through the simpler tasks in life too.  I never thought or even cared to think of developing my own personality and a separate set of rules of engagement with the world because I had my older brother.  He was sufficient and simply better at handling any unpredictability.

My brother’s distinct personality traits combined with his confidence in being responsive to changeability made him the natural choice for everyone.  

 …But with time, comes change and it pays a visit to everyone.

 Force Majeure

1997! A year in which, I officially met the world.  My family decided to move from Massachusetts to Connecticut in hopes of finding better economic opportunities.  I was in 11th grade and had one full year ahead of me before I would graduate from high school.  My brother was in 12th grade, his last year of high school and a captain of our school’s wrestling team.  He also had scholarship prospects because of wrestling; I had none.  So it was decreed that he would be allowed to stay behind and finish his education in one piece.  

Now, I was on my own for the very first time in my life.  I was in a completely new environment, new school, and new everything.  I had no idea what I was going to do but I knew that I would have to do it on my own and free of my brother’s supervision.  This separation and time away from one and another led me to become aware of myself and to essentially carve out a new “Magna Carta.”  It was a daunting step forward and outward.

 I could have never imagined that being me would turn out to be so challenging?  I didn’t know where to start or what to do? I mean the natural choice for me was to just continue to be my brother’s clone but I knew that I had to stop trying to be him and start wanting to be me.  I recall that I would be hesitant in sharing my ideas and goals with my peers because I believed that my plans, hopes, and aspirations to be something my peers would ridicule.  This of course stemmed from never having found the initial need to be myself.  Later, when the need to have an identity and be my own person was thrust upon me I found it to be difficult to be myself and it was because I didn’t know who I was.

I, now, regularly work with young professionals and university level students in developing their communication skills, guiding and coaching them through job interviews, and in assisting them in preparing to become competitive candidates in the market. And one of the most important human characteristics, which I try and highlight in all of them, is their individuality and a sense of belief in their existence.  I didn’t believe in myself and I didn’t believe in my individuality. I felt that my personality wasn’t good enough and that my likes/dislikes weren’t valid enough.  

 So, going back to finding myself in this world…

I chose to make small changes that eventually had a huge impact on my life; I began taking my first baby steps toward individuality.  

 Baby Steps to individuality

One of the first things I consciously made an effort to control was my habit of liking stuff that I had no interest in.  I became honest with my feelings.  If I didn’t like some activity while I was growing up but faked it then to show that I did then I immediately stopped it now.  This helped me eliminate all the clutter I pretended I enjoyed and replace with the things I knew I cared for and appreciated.   This helped me understand myself emotionally.  

 I had to make new friends after the move.  I decided to stop being a clone and this time I found people who shared similar interests and because I was beginning to learn a lot of new things about myself, I made friends who liked me for who I was and valued my personality.  This helped in gaining confidence in my ideas, my thoughts, and myself.  

I also began assuming responsibility in managing external household related chores, which improved my exposure to the outside world and facilitated the development of my own rules of engagement with society.  This helped me in honoring the individual differences in people and better understanding my strengths and weaknesses.  

 These were just some of the observable changes but I made countless additional changes to strengthen and enhance my individuality; by avoiding attempts to becoming my a clone, to acquiring a sense of belief, to honoring individual differences in others.  I began to sense a likable me.   It took years to reach this state of unyielding self-awareness and comfort and a few more to be present among you all today but I assure you that it has been a journey of immense reward and personal growth.  

 Ladies and Gentleman, I believe in serendipity. I believe that whatever that happens in this world happens for a reason.  It’s not an accident.  Every single person in this room tonight is here for a reason and you are here because you either know an individual, who inspires you almost on a daily basis or are yourself a source of inspiration for someone, who considers you an individual.   Therefore, if you are or you aren’t, I welcome you all to take this journey and I wish the ones much luck who have found a path often less traveled.  I bet that you will surprise yourself along the way if you allow yourself the opportunity.