#internal critique

[hedgehog-moss]

do you have recommendations for introspective fiction? :) i've been craving for something for my brain to much on that will also cause me pain, but i honestly have no clue where to get that. any advice?

Hello! I had trouble finding ideas at first because all the introspective & thought-provoking books that came to mind were nonfiction (diaries, etc—especially when it comes to women writers) but here are 10 suggestions, with excerpts :) Note that I took your "cause me pain" request seriously; these are not exactly feel-good reads.

Steppenwolf, Herman Hesse Man is not capable of thought in any high degree, and even the most spiritual and highly cultivated of men habitually sees the world and himself through the lenses of delusive formulas and artless simplifications—and most of all himself. For it appears to be an inborn ... need of all men to regard the self as a unit. In reality, however, every ego ... is in the highest degree a manifold world, a constellated heaven, a chaos of forms, of states and stages, of inheritances and potentialities. It appears to be a necessity as imperative as ... breathing for everyone to be forced to regard this chaos as a unity and to speak of his ego as though it were a one-fold and clearly detached and fixed phenomenon. Even the best of us shares the delusion.

Notes From Underground, Fyodor Dostoevsky Why, suffering is the sole origin of consciousness. Though I did lay it down at the beginning that consciousness is the greatest misfortune for man, yet I know man prizes it and would not give it up for any satisfaction. Consciousness, for instance, is infinitely superior to twice two makes four. Once you have mathematical certainty there is nothing left to do or to understand. There will be nothing left but to bottle up your five senses and plunge into contemplation.

The Book of Disquiet, Fernando Pessoa I asked for very little from life, and even this little was denied me. A nearby field, a ray of sunlight, a little bit of calm along with a bit of bread, not to feel oppressed by the knowledge that I exist, not to demand anything from others, and not to have others demand anything from me — this was denied me, like the spare change we might deny a beggar not because we're mean-hearted but because we don't feel like unbuttoning our coat.

Ishmael, Daniel Quinn All sorts of creatures on this planet appear to be on the verge of attaining self-awareness and intelligence. We were never meant to be the only players on that stage. [But] man is the first of all these. He is the trailblazer, the pathfinder. [….] Man’s place in the world is to be the first without being the last. Man’s place is to figure out how it’s possible to do that—and then to make room for all the rest who are capable of becoming what he’s become.

The Lady and the Little Fox Fur, Violette Leduc Her hope was stored in a safe place. On tiptoe, avidly, she gazed through the windows. ... She was filled with a fixed determination to pay the next month’s rent, to sally forth once more to the pawnbroker’s, to offer him the clothes off her back, to sell her teeth, ... but at all costs to go on living against the panes of strangers’ windows. She bumped into women hurriedly buying food for their dinners; she was breathing the oxygen meant for people who had spent their day working. To cry out that it was impossible for her to begin her life all over again would be useless.

The Last Summer of Reason, Tahar Djaout The city with the many forms of iridescence that once danced on the foam ... is now a field of merciless thorns. Love is a recumbent effigy, a dead tree. Song flees into exile. ... Books—the closeness of them, their contact, their smell, and their contents—constitute the safest refuge against this world of horror. They are the most pleasant and the most subtle means of traveling to a more compassionate planet.

The Royal Game, Stefan Zweig They did nothing—other than subjecting us to complete nothingness. For, as is well known, nothing on earth puts more pressure on the human mind than nothing. ... There was nothing here that could release me from my thoughts, from my obsession with them, from my pathological reiteration of them. And that was exactly what they intended: I was to choke and choke on my thoughts until they asphyxiated me.

Dawn, Elie Wiesel [Words] serve only to give meaning to our actions. And our actions, seen in their true and primitive light, have the odor and color of blood. This is war, we say; we must kill. ... And what else can we do? War has a code, and if you deny this you deny its whole purpose and hand the enemy victory on a silver platter. That we can’t afford. We need victory, victory in war, in order to survive, in order to remain afloat on the surface of time.

Darkness at Noon, Arthur Koestler All our principles were right, but our results were wrong. This is a diseased century. We diagnosed the disease and its causes with microscopic exactness, but wherever we applied the healing knife a new sore appeared. Our will was hard and pure, we should have been loved by the people. But they hate us. Why are we so odious and detested? ... Whenever had a good cause been worse represented? When and where in history had there ever been such defective saints?

All the Lovers in the Night, Mieko Kawakami The job that I was doing, the place where I was living, the fact that I was all alone and had no one to talk to. Could these have been the result of some decision that I’d made? I heard a crow crying somewhere in the distance and turned to the window. It occurred to me that maybe I was where I was today because I hadn’t chosen anything. I had faked it the whole way. ... I was so scared of failing, of being hurt, that I chose nothing. I did nothing.

[rotzaprachim]

I think one of the most uncomfortable aspects of the “absolutely no imprisonment or incarceration for crimes but also rapists deserve to die or be killed and if you think otherwise you’re a rape supporter” logic that’s proliferated among the left for some reason has a lot of terrible implications - plenty of people who are against incarceration in any circumstances also seem to have ideologies that involve forming “community brigades” or something which in Their minds aren’t just … extrajudicial militias - but one of the fallouts is less recognition and support of rape victims, not more. Because most people actually don’t want people to die, and the idea that all rapists deserve to die necesitates another idea that rapists are some closed off Other group that they will have no attachment to or contact with or will matter to no one or be some oppressor class they can just guillotine and move on with. They can’t accept that killing rapists would mean killing their brothers or comrades or friends or that killing rapists would mean killing other oppressed people or marginalized people, so it’s easier to believe that all those people couldn’t POSSIBLY have raped someone, rather that they did, and don’t deserve to die for it.

[rosebridal]

narrative foil antagonism at its best

[starrclownshazbinblog]

There's no way in hell I'm picking up my pen for my tablet tonight so I can't show yall the sketch but a important part of Angel's story is his deep and intense homophobia towards himself.

Like in his human life he genuinely had mental breakdowns and prayed to God cause he though of a man in lust.

The longer he's been in hell the better he gets with his issues but man did he not have a good time in his human life.

Marrying Carmilla and having Isabella kinda helped but not that much.

I bring this up cause Huskerdust is canon in my rewrite but logistically it would take A WHILE cause of their issues.

Just two people who want each other but their problems are crippling <3

Huskerdust child 100% canon:

[speedlimit15]

im so serious straight and bi women you need to be more careful and listen to your own instincts when a man's advances feel even slightly creepy. i promise the novelty of ceaseless attention will wear off. when you sense what might be a predator you should step away, not closer

[shorthaltsjester]

i contain multitudes and can say that i am a little :( about vex and percy being teammates with benefits because i think there’s something particularly heartbreaking about the dynamic that was neither of them ever said a thing even though they both were aware of it and it took losing percy for vex to finally admit it and Even Then, she couldn’t say it to percy’s face when they got him back, percy was the one who had to make the first move (that they were both alive for at least) and he was only able to do that because he’d heard her confession, because he never would’ve thought otherwise. to be clear, i also very much enjoy the story being told, i think i just wish they’d maybe committed more significantly to This Is A Campaign-Inspired Story Rather Than A Retelling sooner in the show so that maybe there would be a bit more grounding or set-up for the storylines the narrative is focusing on (and i understand why they wouldn’t), because i think they’re doing very well with percy’s arc for example, because they started with focusing on his and keeping his beats mostly the same and that seems to be much the same case as some of his second wave of meaty character stuff has arrived. but with vex they’ve aimed for the same character beats but it doesn’t always feel as earned or really feel like much character at all; i think saundor particularly was a bit of an :/, since in the campaign it was really a catalyst for vex interrogating her role in the party and her morality and something she struggled to get over and that haunted her far beyond the walls of that tree, but in the show it hasn’t really had a clear impact on vex beyond the scope of the episode itself — syldor certainly has, but the challenge that saundor presented didn’t really have much weight beyond its moment. and obviously a large part of that’s also probably just, 7 protagonists and wanting to expand the perspectives to antagonists and give more room for side characters is a lot of things to cover. and, i say with love, perhaps a bit too ambitious for a 12 episode per season, ~22 minute runtime show if they want their characters to have the kind of depth that really makes campaign 1 shine the way it does.

[stardvstbby]

Maybe I’m being too harsh on Yona, but this is such a cop-out. Who is she to say what Zeno’s true feelings are? She’s basically saying: “I know I’m important to you. You wouldn’t want to cause me pain, would you?”. Like Yona, love, that’s completely beside the point. No he doesn’t want to hurt you! Of course not! But she’s deflecting, avoiding confronting a difficult choice that would lead to her friend finally finding rest after many lifetimes of suffering.

I understand why she needs to enter the chalice and speak directly with the gods. The cycle itself is the issue and she could prevent further people from being burdened with dragon power, and killing Zeno would only end his suffering.

But the way she completely dismisses his wishes irks me. She could’ve said something like: “Hold on. Before we commit to anything concrete, let me try speaking with the gods. Allow me a second option. And if that doesn’t work at least we know I can end this pain for you,” but no. Instead she like…gaslights him? “No, this is what you’re actually feeling.” “You’re in too much despair to make this choice, you’re not in your right frame of mind.” Even if it’s true that he doesn’t want to hurt her she’s still assuming she knows his thoughts and emotions better than he does. This is pure Sheltered Princess behavior.

Yona is robbing Zeno of his autonomy over his choice to die here, which ironically is exactly what the dragon powers are doing to him. When will he be awarded agency of his own life? His feelings and desires?

[demiaroacejadeharley]

Brandon Rogers slutshaming a fictional minor (Octavia) for "cockblocking" a MLM ship is so disgusting. I've always known that Vivziepop (and maybe Brandon, too) was a Fujoshi as usually people and media that sexualizes and fetishizes Queer men and MLM relationships see women as some sort of threat to their ships, and as a result they will villianize and demonize those women.

Helluva Boss perfectly sets that up with Viv writing Stella to be some sort of evil bitch, when in actuality she's a woman whose justifiably angry at her husband for cheating on her. On top of that, we have Octavia, who just wants her father to pay attention to her, just for her to be reduced down as just another female character in the way of a MLM ship to happen.

I would like to point out that I've been in a similar situation as both Octavia and Stella. I've experienced infidelity twice in my life by my first two exes. My first ex tried to leave me for another girl who was already in another relationship (and it turned out he only dated me out of pity and had no feelings for me to begin with), and my second ex cheated on me with his previous ex and lied about the breakup between him and his ex. I'm also a child of divorce, and I have a father who would rather be with his girlfriend than seeing both my brother and I. So, as someone who experienced betrayal by both a parent and a partner, I find myself relating to Octavia and Stella and sympathizing with both of them.

People like Vivziepop and Brandon Rogers are usually extremely misogynistic and treat women poorly by reducing them down to being a bitch (Stella, Loona, Verosika, Vaggie, and maybe Lilith), be only known as the significant other of another character (Millie and Vaggie), or reduced down to just be another obstacle for a MLM ship to happen (Octavia and Stella). And it's really sad that Vivziepop, a woman, poorly handles her female characters, and there shouldn't be an excuse for it, too.

I honestly believe that Vivziepop really hates herself and must be dealing with some internalized misogyny. Women who have internalized misogyny view themselves as "not like other girls" and view other women with traits they don't like in a villiainzing lens. Which is why hyper femme characters like Verosika and Stella are characterized as being bitchy. While tomboy characters like Millie are the complete opposite of that and are shown to treat others kindly.

I wouldn't be surprised that when the second season of Hazbin Hotel comes out, Viv would probably plan on having Lucifer get with a male character, with Lilith (or Charlie) coming in serving like some sort of interference from that ship from happening. Because knowing her, if she wrote Octavia and Stella to be some sort of force to prevent Stolitz from happening, then she'll do the same thing with Charlie and Lilith if Lucifer gets with another male character.

[calypsolemon]

endlessly pouring over your own art is fun when you stop making it about criticizing everything that could possibly be conceived as a "mistake" or "flaw," and start thinking about the recursive onion of meaning that you didn't even put in there on purpose, but that you gradually peel back and go "egads! there's an aspect of this i didn't even conceptualize while i was making it, but will now treat as my intent all along! truly, my genius knows no bounds 😌"

[chemicalarospec]

my favourite part of Death Note is that it's an excellent critique of how ridiculous and horrible police/policing ideology/punitive justice is when taken to its natural conclusion/extreme, but the old man writing it absolutely did not have that in mind -- as evidenced by the fact that he had the Good Normal Police take down This Unhinged Freak Who Thinks We Should Kill Criminals (tho tbf I do think it's a pointed critique of the death penalty - "it's still murder even if they're death row criminals" like it's not spelled out but it's pretty obvious the death penalty is murder too then. But the author kinda gives up on acknowledging the normal "justice" system isn't 100% prefect by the end). like I'm not 100% certain but I do think Light's dad was just made a policeman for plot convenience & possibly to explain why criminals take up so much space in Light's head, not because the Kira's ideology could only be developed by the child of a cop. (L would have used that as evidence it was the case.) Also the author said Mr. Cop Father is good.

[spotsupstuff]

Honestly with my understanding of how your cycles work it would be funny to see an interaction between a human and an ancient where they are like "Woe is us we are trapped in a cycle blah... blah (basically longwinded explenation of how it works)" and the person is just like "I don't see the issiue here that's cool as fuck"

yes, well... part of why the rebirth cycle (Small Cycle) became so despised *is* because of propaganda. originally the thing was seen as a gift worth worshipping and praising, but as most things usually do, it has some downsides that certain group of people latched on to to demonize it

most of those being the aftermath of waking from death. such as still feeling the pain of the injury that killed the individual. it's relatively fine if one gets a fast death like a Noot stabbing, but if it's death like bleeding out from dismemberment? waking up feeling the pain of it, the phatom body part aspect even though it's Right There and not being able to treat it until it fades on its own isn't so fun

then the mental scarring of going through something like that...

the raincarnation cycle (Great Cycle) became despised because of something like a spirit's depression/nearly chronic frustration. low karma Ancients (under karma level 7) experience those kind of feelings seemingly out of nowhere, detached from the situation happening in the physicality

one can be eating their most favorite food ever and suddenly Bam, feelings of anger, sadness and frustration all at themselves. this happens because the spirit is aware it isn't moving forwards in cultivation/towards natural Ascension as it is supposed to and that upsets it

and judging by the existence of Those -points at Iterators- not many people actually work on bettering themselves because Why would they? They have the Iterators to get them the reward for becoming a good person without them having to change anything

so the nearly chronic spirit frustration/depression is common

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i've felt kind of guilty about loving the ~ken of it all~ so much (the internet! it can make you feel guilty about anything!), like it makes me a bad feminist, but i have to say: i don't think the take that ken is a better character than barbie because the writing of the movie is somehow inherently misogynistic is true. i think barbie and gloria are both extremely endearing, distinct, fun characters with a wonderful bond and that they both go through a story of growth that's very touching, and i think that they capture a lot -- albeit maybe in a somewhat intro-to-feminism way -- about what it feels like to be a woman in society. i also think margot robbie really shines as barbie in a way that is fundamentally endearing & relatable, while also being very funny.

i think when you've got a bombastic supporting character like ken it's easy to have that character be a real standout because the comedy is so strong, but i think that's also a very different role to occupy in the narrative than being the protagonist or the more serious emotional heart of the film. (though i think ken is part of the serious emotional heart of the story too.)

idk. i just don't really agree with a lot of the beef about this movie. i think it works really well in general and has a lot of strengths and that all the lead characters are wonderful and distinct. but also, i don't think it makes you a bad person or a betrayer of the feminist cause to enjoy ryan gosling being silly about ken.

this has been: my stance! 💖

[brw]

People praising Percy's X Force for being a criticism and analysis of the CIA is really funny because no, objectively he Did Not Do That.

[keeps-ache]

i think i'm starting to really like writing again :D this will have consequences

[astronicht]

Doctor: your blood pressure is nice and low but your pulse is a little high :/

Me, shaking like a chihuahua, but also probably accidentally dodging another POTS half-diagnosis: yyyyeah work was stressful. Today.

[adamshallperish]

i used to be really into criticism videos of books that were peopular on tiktok, but now i'm genuinely like. what's the point. those books are shitty and badly written, but these women aren't coming into my space and reading books i like and misinterpreting them. they're just reading shitty books. why are we mad at them.