#incorrect quotes the originals

[ct1409lover]

Sam: Truth or dare?

Eeva: Truth.

Sam: I dare you to kiss Bucky.

Eeva, already getting up: Alright, fine.

Kol: They didn’t even pick dare?

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2605

Don't forget to feed your wizard. (Dialogue is just made up, lol.)

[sir-ballister-boldheart]

They were so insane for this

[protagaster]

Ares, seeing 17 year old Penelope swoon over Odysseus: [sighs] I can't believe you're getting so worked up about some... guy.

Penelope: This one is different. He's smart, and he's kind...

Ares: Please!

Penelope: He would never do anything to hurt me.

Ares: He's a guy!

[enigma-the-mysterious]

The reason Goncharov (1973) is such a hit is because it allows Tumblr to unironically participate in its national sport:

Lying

[aludraslytherin]

Lily: Does anyone know why James and Regulus are sitting back to back holding hands?

Barty: They got in a pretty bad fight, Reg is mad at Potter.

Lily: Okay but why the hand holding then?

Remus: James got scared that Regulus doesn't love him anymore, so that's their solution until they calm down.

[batfamilycannons]

Dick*the eldest daughter reaching a breaking point and it was this or manslaughter*: Due to my emotional trauma, I have decided I will be reverting back to my childhood Goblin lifestyle

Jason*always one for chaos*: Good for you

Bruce*traumatized from the first time not sure if he can survive a pt.2*: oh no

Tim*never left his Menace Lifestyle and is very exited to help cause more problems*: yay!

Bruce*even more scared*: oh no

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Liu Qingge comes back to find out that everyone believes Shen Qingqiu murdered him and he’s offended that anyone would think Shen Qingqiu could beat him in a fight. And, as Liu Qingge bitches people out for believing such a ridiculous tale, Shen Qingqiu is off to the side muttering about how he “could absolutely kill that brute if he wanted to.” Liu Qingge turns to him exasperated, grumpy, and annoyed and snaps, “You couldn’t even stop me from killing myself.”

[greghatecrimes]

this is definitely how it happened in canon

[here-comes-the-moose]

Wrecker: We should send Echo. Everyone likes Echo.

Hunter: Not everyone.

Crosshair, loading his rifle: Who doesn’t like Echo? I want names and locations.

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Man over the radio: I have one of your friends.

Y/N: Which one?

Man over radio: The annoyingly quiet, growling one.

Y/N: Oh. You have my boyfriend. He’ll be okay.

Man over radio: Now, let’s talk trade.

Y/N: Why? He’s gonna be loose and stab you in three, two—

-Radio silence-

Daryl over radio: Could’a at least pretended to be worried.

Y/N: See you at home.

[ct1409lover]

Freya: What does 'take out' mean?

Marcel: Food.

Rebekah: Dating

Klaus: Murder

Eeva: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

Jason: I'm EXTREMELY charitable! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just on my way to go donate blood. Dick:...Whose blood? Jason(shrugs): Some guy's.

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

Rolan: You know, if you ever get tired of adventuring, you could always come work at Sorcerous Sundries.

Durge: I don't think retail is the right career for me. My rancid blood desires nothing more than to reap death on this world. I am a vile soul, broken beyond repair.

Rolan: Sounds like an average Tuesday around here... We do have an annual employee picnic, though.

Durge: Does that help to soothe the unyielding rage within?

Rolan: *Sad sigh.* No.

- - - -

BG3 Incorrect Quotes Masterlist.

[protagaster]

Penelope: Hey Ctimene, are you free tonight? Like, around sundown?

Ctimene: Yes, I am.

Odysseus: And you, Eurylochus?

Eurylochus: Umm... yes?

Penelope: Great! Because we're not.

Odysseus: You two go out without us. Enjoy your date!

[Penny & Ody run away hand-in-hand, giggling between themselves]

Eurylochus: ...

Ctimene: Did they just-

[enigma-the-mysterious]

If someone told me that a submersible named the Titan, owned by a company called OceanGATE, carrying three billionaires, had gone missing on an expedition to the Titanic, I would think it was some pitch for a new thriller mystery novel and not something that had actually happened due to the hubris and stupidity of rich people.