#incorrect pressure quotes

[pressurepals]

Zerum: Sebastian, can I have $39?

Sebastian: Absolutely not

Zerum: *goes up to Y/N* Y/N, can I have $39?

Y/N: Absolutely

Y/N: *looks at Sebastian* Can I have $39?

Sebastian: Absolutely not

[thespookiestprincessofthemall]

Painter: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Sebastian:

Sebastian: I'm gonna tell him.

Zerum: Don't you dare.

[aventurineswife]

Player, admiring a sleeping Sebestian: You’re so cute.

Sebestian , sleepily: I could beat your ass.

Player, lovingly: I know.

[starcrossedstarfishes]

Edwin: Charles provides the brawn to our little operation, madam. I, you may not be entirely surprised to learn, am the brains.

Client: He doesn’t look very brawny.

Edwin: True, but that’s nothing compared to how much he’s not brainy.

[waytooinvested]

Kara: Are you assuming that just because I'm a superhero and I like button down shirts, I must be a lesbian? Winn: No I'm not assuming that, I hope you're not! Kara: YOU HOPE I'M NOT??? Winn: I mean, not because it's bad, it's not, lesbians are great! I just meant I hope you're not for my sake. No not my sake! I mean for all men's sake- no that's worse. Kara: Lets just change the subject. Winn: Yes. Winn: [awkward silence] Kara: [awkwardness intensifies] Winn: So... the weather's been really- Kara: I mean, I am a lesbian. Winn: Oh? Kara: Well yeah, obviously. You just shouldn't have assumed I was.

[radlymona]

TRAs having no empathy yet again

Teenagers who are pushed towards transitioning aren’t “pushovers” they’re mentally and emotionally vulnerable young people who shouldn’t be allowed to make life-changing medical decisions. Acknowledging this fact isn’t stopping adults from transitioning. It just aims to stops other vulnerable teenagers from doing the same.

[aangsdefensesquad]

sokka: HEY GUYS–

aang(whispering):sokka shh, katara is sleeping

sokka(whispering):oh ok

Sokka (still whispering): btw the kitchen is on fire

[apoetsworld]

Minutes. Seconds. After watching the Barbie Movie.

Sirius: IM A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WORRRLDD

James: LIFE IN PLASTIC, ITS FANTASTIC

Pete: YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR

Remus: UNDRESS ME EVERYWHEREE

Sirius, James, Peter and Remus: IMAGINATION, LIFE IS YOUR CREATION

[the-black-bulls]

Noelle: Is it entirely without the bounds of possibility that you have an ulterior motive for this trip going ahead?

Zora: Noelle, I hope you know me better than that. At any given moment I never have fewer than seven ulterior motives in play.

[cosmicstarlatte]

Imagine an mc that can switch from a sheep to a human at will😭 mc being mad at one of them then switching to a sheep and running away🫠

-Sleep deprived anon

LMAO I love this!!!

MC: *sheep bleating in the distance*

Mammon: GET BACK HERE ALREADY WE SAID WE'RE SORRY!!!

Asmo: *catches MC & cuddles them* I got them!!! Oh you look so cute when you're mad!!!

MC: *kicks Asmo*

Asmo: NOT MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!!! *cries*

Everyone else: *sees sheep MC tearing apart the common room bleating angrily*

Everyone else: ...Okay maybe we should come back later 😨

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

JUNE: i was doing lawn work for my dad, and our only power tool is currently broken so i had to do it with a normal weed whacker.

JUNE: and NOT ONLY did it blister, but the skin ripped off. so now i just have a solid inch on my index finger where the skin is raw.

DAVE: in her room

DAVE: rawdoggin it

DAVE: and by it lets justr say

DAVE: her skin and meat

JUNE: horrible. thank you.

[pressurepals]

Y/N: You're the capital of dumb. D.U.M.

Sebastian: Y/N, there's a "B"

Y/N: *looking around frantically* WHERE??

[thespookiestprincessofthemall]

Zerum: Why do you look like that?

The Convict, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Zerum: Like you’re dead.

The Convict: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Sebastian: The Convict accidentally called Painter “babe” in front of everyone today.

The Convict: *sobs into the floor*

[magicingray]

Leander: would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Garreth: no, mate

Poppy: I hope it sucks whatever your going through

Ominis: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life

MC: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you

Sebastian: I can't wait to go to your funeral knowing I could have changed the outcome

[waytooinvested]

Kara: ...and if there's anything else I can do, don't hesitate to call! Lena: Thanks, bye! Lena: [leaves] Kara: What a lovely woman Alex: Oh did you like her? You seemed rather cool and standoffish. Kara: [crestfallen] Oh no, did I? really?? Alex: No.

[charlotte-family-apologist]

Suchin: Our living situation is temporary. I’m insane you’re insane, you know what happens when two insane people live together for too long? Starts with an “m”.

Kenshi: Making out.

Suchin: That’s right murder! Wait what.