#incorrect order

[fafodill]

he strongly disagrees

[p1nkshield]

Reporter: Tell us Bruce, why have you recently decided to work out more? Do you just want to compete with our Clark? Or is it-

Bruce: My kids.

Reporter: I’m sorry what?

Bruce: I work out so I can still lift them.

Reporter: …

Bruce: if you have nothing else to ask I’m going to leave now. Let’s go Jaylad.

Bruce just picks up Jason and leaves.

Jason looks like a large dog that clearly isn’t used to being in the air.

Like this.

[moutainrusing]

James: I love fucking Regulus!

Sirius:

James:

James: Wait, I didn’t mean it like that— genuinely, I meant it like, “I fucking love Regulus!”

Sirius:

James: I’m telling the truth!!

[percabethconvos]

Monster Captor: Where are the other demigod prisoners?

[Percy and Annabeth hiding the escape tunnel]

Percy: They...died. Yeah, they died from the poor conditions here

Monster: Then where are their bodies?

Annabeth: They died from...The Vaporizing Flu

Monster: The Vaporizing Flu?

Percy nodding: Oh yes, very dangerous. Fever, vomiting, then poof! You're just gone

Monster: is-is it contagious?

Annabeth: Yes, but oddly enough only if you stand around in places where a previous victim has died and ask questions

[specialvalentinesunit]

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: So given Roy's attraction to Jason—

Roy: How did you know about that?!

Dick: Uh, I have eyes?

[1nkpen]

*Avengers playing never have I ever*

Bruce: Never have I ever seen Stark naked.

*Rhodey, Natasha, Pepper, Loki, Steve, Bucky, and Stephen all take a shot*

Tony: In my defence i have a very appealing body.

[twosbarisi]

[severussnapemylove]

(Sev and Reader walking into the Orders headquarters during the first wizarding war, looking tired and dishevelled)

Y/N; “It’s okay everyone. Voldermort’s gone."

Dumbledore; (shocked) “What do you mean “gone”????”

Severus; “Well, we realised that he’d been so focused on the wizarding world that he’d severely underestimated the risk of muggle style attacks.”

Y/N; “So Sev shot him in the head with a muggle revolver.”

McGonagall; “You did what??? And that worked???”

Severus; “Yes, it seems that even the Dark Lord needs an intact brain to live.”

Y/N; “And to make sure he stays dead, until all his Horcruxes can be tracked down and destroyed..."

Slughorn; (turning pale) "Horcruxes????"

Y/N; "...We cut the body into little pieces, set the pieces in concrete and dropped the concrete blocks in various bodies of deep water around the world.”

(Speechless, kind of terrified looks from the rest of the room)

Y/N; “So anyway, war’s over, you’re all welcome. Sev and I are going on a very long holiday now. Seeya."

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Eddie: I’m definitely the one that is in charge in the relationship.

Buck: Babe, could you stand up?

Eddie: *stands up*

Buck: Thank you, you can sit back down, love.

Eddie: *sits back down*

Buck: Hey, could you look at me?

Eddie: *looks at him while blushing*

Buck: Thank you, baby.

Eddie, still blushing: Anyway. Watch this. Buck, get me a glass of water.

Buck: Say please.

Eddie: Could you please get me a glass of water?

Buck: Of course.

Eddie: *proud of himself* See!

Hen, surprised: Yeah Eddie, you sure are in charge.

[nephilimbrute]

Late night posting. Thingy i made when i was losing my mind i might render it

[tiger-grace]

Bruce: why do I have 15 separate charges that amounts to 26,000 dollars on my card

Jason: shits crazy

Bruce: why are they all signed under “Amazon wishlist 👅 (for murder)”

Jason, sweating: ..that’s crazy

[percabethconvos]

Clarisse: So given Princess' crush on Prissy-

Annabeth: How did you know about that?!

Clarisse: I have eyes!

[specialvalentinesunit]

[braxix]

Maedhros: I have had Elrond for all of two minutes, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone and then myself.

[motherofplatypus]