#incorrect order

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're the oldest sibling

it's tough being the oldest.

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Bonus:

[p1nkshield]

Reporter: Tell us Bruce, why have you recently decided to work out more? Do you just want to compete with our Clark? Or is it-

Bruce: My kids.

Reporter: I’m sorry what?

Bruce: I work out so I can still lift them.

Reporter: …

Bruce: if you have nothing else to ask I’m going to leave now. Let’s go Jaylad.

Bruce just picks up Jason and leaves.

Jason looks like a large dog that clearly isn’t used to being in the air.

Like this.

[moutainrusing]

James: I love fucking Regulus!

Sirius:

James:

James: Wait, I didn’t mean it like that— genuinely, I meant it like, “I fucking love Regulus!”

Sirius:

James: I’m telling the truth!!

[percabethconvos]

Monster Captor: Where are the other demigod prisoners?

[Percy and Annabeth hiding the escape tunnel]

Percy: They...died. Yeah, they died from the poor conditions here

Monster: Then where are their bodies?

Annabeth: They died from...The Vaporizing Flu

Monster: The Vaporizing Flu?

Percy nodding: Oh yes, very dangerous. Fever, vomiting, then poof! You're just gone

Monster: is-is it contagious?

Annabeth: Yes, but oddly enough only if you stand around in places where a previous victim has died and ask questions

[fafodill]

he strongly disagrees

[specialvalentinesunit]

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: So given Roy's attraction to Jason—

Roy: How did you know about that?!

Dick: Uh, I have eyes?

[1nkpen]

*Avengers playing never have I ever*

Bruce: Never have I ever seen Stark naked.

*Rhodey, Natasha, Pepper, Loki, Steve, Bucky, and Stephen all take a shot*

Tony: In my defence i have a very appealing body.

[twosbarisi]

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Eddie: I’m definitely the one that is in charge in the relationship.

Buck: Babe, could you stand up?

Eddie: *stands up*

Buck: Thank you, you can sit back down, love.

Eddie: *sits back down*

Buck: Hey, could you look at me?

Eddie: *looks at him while blushing*

Buck: Thank you, baby.

Eddie, still blushing: Anyway. Watch this. Buck, get me a glass of water.

Buck: Say please.

Eddie: Could you please get me a glass of water?

Buck: Of course.

Eddie: *proud of himself* See!

Hen, surprised: Yeah Eddie, you sure are in charge.

[nephilimbrute]

Late night posting. Thingy i made when i was losing my mind i might render it

[tiger-grace]

Bruce: why do I have 15 separate charges that amounts to 26,000 dollars on my card

Jason: shits crazy

Bruce: why are they all signed under “Amazon wishlist 👅 (for murder)”

Jason, sweating: ..that’s crazy

[percabethconvos]

Clarisse: So given Princess' crush on Prissy-

Annabeth: How did you know about that?!

Clarisse: I have eyes!

[braxix]

Maedhros: I have had Elrond for all of two minutes, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone and then myself.

[specialvalentinesunit]

[escapismisaddicting]

“Hey! Yeah, Talia, It’s me Jay.”

“No, Bruce hasn’t been causing me any trouble, um- it’s actually the opposite problem. You… you know post-nut clarity? I think I’m getting post-lazarus clarity. You know?”

“Yeah… Talia, you kinda failed to mention all the shit that had changed in Gotham while I was gone. Like sure I have a replacement now whoop dee doo! But like- I also apparently have a charity named after me? All proceeds go to refurbishing crime alley- and apparently it’s been so successful that most kids I knew back then are now working in Wayne Industries. So- And you know that’s not the only thing? I have a park now. Like a genuine park named after me. With a statue of me in the center of a god damn water fountain. My favorite gargoyle was moved to the entrance of the park. Fucking hell Talia- I HAVE A MENU ITEM AT BATBURGER. NOT ROBIN. NOT RED HOOD. LIKE GENUINELY JASON PETER TODD HAS A FUCKING MENU ITEM THERE! IT WAS BASED ON HOW I WOULD EAT IT ON PATROL- I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COMPUTE THIS INFORMATION TALIA!”