#incorrect order
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POV: You're the oldest sibling
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it's tough being the oldest.
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#it's tough being a single mom. especially when youre a man with no children.#give me a dick grayson who's always on the precipice of either strangling his siblings or showering them with love#im not really a ''tim drake is a coffee addict'' truther however i do think he should be an absolute diva when it comes to food orders#that single period that dick sends is that 10% of rage that just barely seeped thru#also dude's like 30 he def does not understand the slang of the youth ''lock in?? tf does that mean??''#also my girl stephanie deserves to be smart asf!! i wanna see her thriving#social media au#batfamily#batfam#dick grayson#jason todd#stephanie brown#tim drake#batkids#nightwing#red hood#spoiler#red robin#duke thomas#signal#bruce wayne#batman#batdad#dc comics#twitter#tweets#texts#incorrect quotes#fanatical posting
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Reporter: Tell us Bruce, why have you recently decided to work out more? Do you just want to compete with our Clark? Or is it-
Bruce: My kids.
Reporter: I’m sorry what?
Bruce: I work out so I can still lift them.
Reporter: …
Bruce: if you have nothing else to ask I’m going to leave now. Let’s go Jaylad.
Bruce just picks up Jason and leaves.
Jason looks like a large dog that clearly isn’t used to being in the air.
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Like this.
#jason todd#bruce wayne#batfam#incorrect batfamily quotes#he still gives all his kids uppies#batdad#he just needs to up his weight training game in order to do so#everyone is worried he’s going to throw out his back one day
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James: I love fucking Regulus!
Sirius:
James:
James: Wait, I didn’t mean it like that— genuinely, I meant it like, “I fucking love Regulus!”
Sirius:
James: I’m telling the truth!!
#marauders#james potter#sirius black#regulus black#james x regulus#jegulus#incorrect quotes#incorrect marauders quotes#he's telling the truth - do you ever mix up your word order or is that just me
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Monster Captor: Where are the other demigod prisoners?
[Percy and Annabeth hiding the escape tunnel]
Percy: They...died. Yeah, they died from the poor conditions here
Monster: Then where are their bodies?
Annabeth: They died from...The Vaporizing Flu
Monster: The Vaporizing Flu?
Percy nodding: Oh yes, very dangerous. Fever, vomiting, then poof! You're just gone
Monster: is-is it contagious?
Annabeth: Yes, but oddly enough only if you stand around in places where a previous victim has died and ask questions
#What did that post floating around say? “They build off each other like they're in an improv skit”#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#source: order of the stick#incorrect quotes
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Dick: So given Roy's attraction to Jason—
Roy: How did you know about that?!
Dick: Uh, I have eyes?
#source: order of the stick#dick grayson#nightwing#roy harper#arsenal#teen titans#titans#jason todd#red hood#red hood and the outlaws#jayroy#batman#batfamily#batfam#batboys#batbros#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics#pride month
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*Avengers playing never have I ever*
Bruce: Never have I ever seen Stark naked.
*Rhodey, Natasha, Pepper, Loki, Steve, Bucky, and Stephen all take a shot*
Tony: In my defence i have a very appealing body.
#marvel mcu#mcu incorrect quotes#ironhusbands#ironstrange#ironhawk#pepperony#winteriron#stony#tony stark#the avengers#frostiron#all my tony stark ships in one place#i tried to do it in the order i think it happened#80% of these were on accident#tony stank
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#law and order svu#incorrect quotes#incorrect svu#rafael barba#barisi#sonny carisi#raul esparza#svu#shitpost
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#svu#incorrect quotes#incorrect svu#law and order svu#shitpost#svu shitpost#casey novak#donald cragen#captain cragen
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Eddie: I’m definitely the one that is in charge in the relationship.
Buck: Babe, could you stand up?
Eddie: *stands up*
Buck: Thank you, you can sit back down, love.
Eddie: *sits back down*
Buck: Hey, could you look at me?
Eddie: *looks at him while blushing*
Buck: Thank you, baby.
Eddie, still blushing: Anyway. Watch this. Buck, get me a glass of water.
Buck: Say please.
Eddie: Could you please get me a glass of water?
Buck: Of course.
Eddie: *proud of himself* See!
Hen, surprised: Yeah Eddie, you sure are in charge.
#incorrect 911 quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect buddie#buddie#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#sub!eddie#dom!buck#eddie loves following orders#hen was not surprised at all
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Late night posting. Thingy i made when i was losing my mind i might render it
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Bruce: why do I have 15 separate charges that amounts to 26,000 dollars on my card
Jason: shits crazy
Bruce: why are they all signed under “Amazon wishlist 👅 (for murder)”
Jason, sweating: ..that’s crazy
#the other wishlist called ‘girls night out 💋’#it has pipe bomb parts and a king size Twix pack#you don’t even want to see what Tim lists his orders under#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#jason todd#red hood#robin#incorrect batfamily quotes#jason todd my silly
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Maedhros: I have had Elrond for all of two minutes, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone and then myself.
#He unfortunately did that out of order#lotr#lord of the rings#incorrect lord of the rings quotes#silmarillion#incorrect silmarillion quotes#incorrect quotes#elrond#lotr elrond#elrond peredhel#maedhros#lotr maedhros#kidnap fam
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Clarisse: So given Princess' crush on Prissy-
Annabeth: How did you know about that?!
Clarisse: I have eyes!
#clarisse is so done with them#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#source: order of the stick#incorrect quotes
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“Hey! Yeah, Talia, It’s me Jay.”
“No, Bruce hasn’t been causing me any trouble, um- it’s actually the opposite problem. You… you know post-nut clarity? I think I’m getting post-lazarus clarity. You know?”
“Yeah… Talia, you kinda failed to mention all the shit that had changed in Gotham while I was gone. Like sure I have a replacement now whoop dee doo! But like- I also apparently have a charity named after me? All proceeds go to refurbishing crime alley- and apparently it’s been so successful that most kids I knew back then are now working in Wayne Industries. So- And you know that’s not the only thing? I have a park now. Like a genuine park named after me. With a statue of me in the center of a god damn water fountain. My favorite gargoyle was moved to the entrance of the park. Fucking hell Talia- I HAVE A MENU ITEM AT BATBURGER. NOT ROBIN. NOT RED HOOD. LIKE GENUINELY JASON PETER TODD HAS A FUCKING MENU ITEM THERE! IT WAS BASED ON HOW I WOULD EAT IT ON PATROL- I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COMPUTE THIS INFORMATION TALIA!”
#batman#dc#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#jason todd#red hood#ressurection#talia al ghul#batburger#his order is the Todd burger#it’s just a burger with curly fries#and coke with ice cream in it#all proceeds go to charity#shitpost#incorrect quotes
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Watching the Darkness On Umbara arc, and because I still have Bad Batch brain rot, I’m thinking about how they would have reacted to Krell’s bullshit, so here’s what I’ve got:
Hunter: Sir, with all due respect—
Crosshair, flicking a toothpick: Which is none
Hunter, trying not to laugh: —we’re not doing that. Bad Batch, plan 43, let’s go!
Krell: Sergeant, you can’t—!
Wrecker: Too bad!
Fives, smacking Rex: Why can’t we be like them?!
#what’s plan 43? idfk i just picked a number#star wars#the clone wars#the bad batch#clone force 99#tcw incorrect quotes#general krell#tbb hunter#tbb crosshair#tbb wrecker#arc trooper fives#yeah yeah i know rex eventually said “fuck this and fuck you krell”#but as soon as the FIRST bullshit order came through cf99 would’ve gone “yeah fuck this shit we’re out”
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#my diva#rafael barba#law and order svu#incorrect svu#incorrect quotes#raul esparza#svu#law and order
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