#in the grand scheme of things i know logically that this is better than my last round of meds.

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[rottenomelet]

yandere jjk thoughts

warning:: nsfw! i’m eighteen and you should be too! hints of kidnapping, non-con, and coercion. nothing is ever really explicitly stated but - still.

a/n: there’s no real rhyme or reason behind this - winter is just my favorite time to snuggle up and read about crazy ppl. also i wrote this in lowercase originally so u see a spot i missed, no u didnt. u can leave requests for different characters if u wanna

Gojo Satoru

In no world could I ever imagine Gojo Satoru treating you like a real human being.

He is the strongest. There is no one who could destroy him. He can see all. And the issue isn’t just that he’s the best, it’s that he’s been told that since the day he opened his bright eyes. He has a big ego and it’s justified because there is no one better than him.

And sure he’ll indulge you. He'll laugh at your jokes and console you when you cry. But in the back of his mind, in every kiss to your forehead, in every smile, there will always be a domineering aspect. Because he knows that you are insignificant in the grand scheme of the world. you are only important because he deemed you worth something.

You’re not quite a toy or a pet to him. You’re more like - an indoor plant to him. Something that needs nurturing from his caring hands, watering and sunlight granted to you by him. You adapt and grow according to his needs and his conditions. But at the same time, you are to be cherished. never handled too roughly, case you begin to wilt. You don’t have to do much but sit and be nurtured and be pretty while he gives you whatever he deems necessary for your survival.

It fascinates him, really, how simple your little life is. How much you don’t know and never will know because as a flower, all you need to understand is that water and sunlight and love are given to you before you’ll even realize that you need it.

But you still have a job to be pretty and sometimes that’s sitting on the bed, still, as he observes you or bouncing on his cock. It just depends on the day.

Geto Suguru

Suguru is a calm man, a quiet man. He makes decisions based on logic. He is not exactly one for emotional outbursts, and even at his angriest, he rarely raises his voice.

But you.

A little non-sorcerer that can’t even see curses somehow made him look twice. Little unimportant you constantly runs through his mind. What you’re doing, what you’ve eaten, what places you’ve gone to. Who you’ve talked to, who your friends are. Your hobbies, your interests. Your lips and your eyes and that special something between your legs.

Just thinking about you, even innocently, makes him harden. It’s uncomfortable, it’s infuriating, it’s maddening.

He thought, surely someone in your family was a sorcerer, a powerful one at that. But no, your family is normal. You are, genetically, as average as they come.

He doesn’t treat you softly at first, doesn’t have a mind to. You’re a filthy little nothing, after all. When he fucks, he fucks without care. Suguru treats you like a doll, not made of porcelain but made of cloth, one he can throw around and still be in decent condition. He keeps a hand pressed to your mouth, to keep your voice down. A blindfold around your eyes so he doesn’t have to look into them. Your hands are bound behind your back so you don't touch him even by accident. Flat on your stomach, unable to see or feel or say anything is how you find yourself every time. He doesn’t even come inside of you, the only thing you’re grateful for.

It’s scary, how roughly he treats you. But it’s downright terrifying when he begins to lay softer hands upon you, begins to kiss instead of bite, caress instead of pinch.

Nanami Kento

He is a very traditional and stern man.

You are, silly, to him. stumbling and bumping and in general, unsure of yourself and what to do. But he sees potential. Even when you’ve tripped over thin air or broken something by accident, there’s a certain grace to your movements. A grace he wants to harvest and invest in.

And while he wants to give you direction, he also doesn’t have the patience or time to teach you like he wants. So, it’s best to ‘learn on the job’ when it comes to Kento.

Learn how to cook his favorite meals and bake the sweets he loves just right. When he’s okay with speaking and when he needs quiet. Remembering to kiss him goodbye every morning and remove his coat for him every night.

Learn how to suck his cock right - which vein is most sensitive, when to suckle and gag and slurp, what noises to make, and remember to always always swallow. He hates messes after all.

Learn his favorite positions. The lingerie sets he like best. How loudly he wants you to be. Accept his cum in your tummy with a smile.

It’s not hard - please him and you will be rewarded. Rewarded with pleasure, with time outside, with gentle hands.

And if you stumble or forget, he will easily remind you of your job.

Mahito

You’re his personal entertainment. You’re an experiment.

Mahito is incredibly laid-back, even lazy to an extent. He lets you roam and explore and fall. He doesn’t care what you do as long as you stay within the four walls he’s placed you in.

It's hard to understand him. For a curse, he’s always laughing, finding almost child-like joy in the most odd things. Whether that’s watching an animal documentary or wondering if a human’s neck can extend like the turtles on TV.

One thing you do know is that he likes games and he likes playing with you. The only problem is you don’t when the game starts and ends, the rules or even if you’re playing right. Oftentimes, you find yourself playing a game that you don’t know the rules of and Mahito has named himself the gamekeeper.

He usually starts by asking a question. Something simple like “What time did you wake up?” or “What did you eat today?”. You find out the hard way that no matter what you say, you’re always wrong.

Say you woke up at ten? Then you’ll find yourself pressing into the mattress, drooling on your pillow as he drills you, punishing you for waking so late in the day. You had a slice of cake earlier? Then don’t be surprised when you’re in the kitchen licking icing off his cock as punishment for an unhealthy lunch.

Itadori Yuuji

He's the jock that gave you a chance. That made you feel special and pretty and popular.

He's sweet. He gives you his hoodie when you’re cold. He drives you home after school. Buys you lunch when you can’t afford it. Takes you on nice dates.

He wants you sitting front row at all his games, wearing his varsity jacket so everyone knows you’re his girl. He twirls you and kisses you in front of the whole school when he wins, the whole thing right of a cheesy rom-com.

But, surely, you didn’t think he was doing all that for free? No, he wants compensation. He deserves a reward for treating you so sweetly. It's only fair.

It doesn’t matter if you’re ‘not ready’. No, no, you’re just nervous, sweetheart. But he’ll be gentle with you so calm down. Yeah, calm down when he slides a hand up your skirt on a date to the movies. Be quiet when he asks you for head in the janitor’s closet between classes. And don’t make a fuss when he slips his cock inside of you, raw, even though you begged him to use a condom.

‘Rubbers hurt,’ he says. ‘It feels better raw’,’ he pleads. ‘Don’t worry - I'll pull out.,’ he promises.

And you better be understanding when he comes inside of you. Afterall, he’ll buy you a plan b.

Choso

Whatever you do, do not stress this man.

He’s going through enough as is. The last thing he needs from you is any attitude or ungratefulness. Even an upset face will have you with your knees pushed beside your head and Choso making you scream, all while watching you with that same tired expression.

Choso is the oldest of ten siblings. He is used to dealing with bratty behavior. He handles your tantrums with grace - once you’ve finished throwing things and screaming, he’ll only ask if you're finished. And then he will be upon you.

But, beyond punishment, he is caring and quiet. He prefers it when you speak, likes it when you prattle on about your day or your favorite show. He likes it when you’re happy.

[yesimwriting]

Noble Only in Blood

A/n house of the dragon rewatch era <3

Summary: There are very few things you wouldn't do in order to save your brother.

Warnings: me writing for a character for the first time, targaryen incest (reader is rhaenyra's daughter), reader is described as not looking like her brothers and having valyrian features, forced marriage, slight miscommunication trope (i know,, bare with me😭)

----

In times of crisis, it is instinctual to hold onto what is dear. If one has reason to believe that a thief has crossed their path, it is logical for them to reach into their purses and pockets, to make sure that what they care for most is still safe. That same impulse is what guides your hand forward, your fingers curling around Lucerys's shoulder.

After a breath, you realize that Luke has allowed himself to shuffle back, a subtle acceptance of your attempt to comfort him. That startles you more than the sudden appearance of a familiar face. Luke's distaste for what he considers 'sisterly coddling' has grown steadily over these last few years, the threat of war only amplifying his desire to shed the last few layers of protection you're able to offer him.

"It's alright." The response borders on hollow, your voice ringing flat in your own ears. You press your lips together. So Aemond beat your family to Lord Borros. That's...That means very little in the grand scheme of things. You and your brother came here to present an offer, not to begin a war. "You are here as a messenger, not a warrior."

He nods once, eyes still trained on your uncle. Even though Luke's in front of you, his stiffness is reminiscent of a time in which a conflict with Aemond meant running to you, meant attempting to hide behind you until you could either tell him off or call for your mother.

Aemond takes a measured step forward. "Really? Is that what you're calling your attempts to steal my brother's throne?"

There's a muted sharpness in Aemond's voice that feels distinct to anything you've seen from him before. This is not a burst of fury fueled by petulant indignation, this is a flash of a rage sustained by an all engulfing flame.

Your fingers press into Luke's shoulder. The sooner he's returned to the sky, the better. "I was only offering an explanation."

"The ever honest princess." Another step. "I have had enough of your brand of honesty."

Your lips briefly part before pressing together again. There is no worthy response, not with the way Aemond's watching you, expression too unforgiving to be about today. Something small and familiar attempts to dislodge itself from your throat, an echo of the apology that failed to salvage any friendship between the two of you years ago.

There's a beat of nothingness that serves as a form of recognition. Aemond straightens. "While I am accustomed to your self righteousness and defense of Lord Strong, even you cannot think you'll get to walk away after what you both attempted."

At that, Luke straightens, shoulders lifting in a way that encourages you to release him. "Leave my sister out of this." He steps forward, planting himself firmly between you and Aemond.

"Luke."

He doesn't look back at you, but your tone does seem to remind him of the importance of deescalation. "I am not going to fight you."

"No. That would be no challenge." Your fingers curl into your palm with such tension you can already feel your nails imprinting your skin. Aemond raises an arm, hand moving to pull off the patch that covers his lost eye. "I want you to pluck out your eye as payment for mine."

Luke shuffles back, head snapping in your direction. His eyes only find yours for a brief moment before he's straightening to face Aemond again, but it's enough for you to see the dread tinging his put together demeanor. His lips parted, his brows furrowed. That same little boy that always trusted you to know how to stop a game from going too far.

You squeeze Luke's arm, a silent promise, a guarantee that you'll--that you'll what? That you'll return him to Arrax unscathed? That you'll find a way to save him? This isn't the same as the faults that were dismissed as an unfortunate yet dismissible consequence of childhood roughhousing.

Blood has been divided, the rightful succession questioned. The children of rightful heirs have faced worse than what Aemond is attempting. Political divide changes things. Standing on the brink of war, you have no defense. There is no predetermined safe territory for you to rush Luke to, and yet...

"You are not taking my brother's eye." The authority bleeding into your voice provides a lifeline. You have nothing to stand on, not here, and yet the firmness of your statement manages to pulse through you.

Aemond presses his lips together, a sharp smile that's too cruel to be reduced to something as simple as sarcastic briefly taking over his expression. "Sister. Brother." He lets out a breath, radiating an assurance that turns your stomach. Aemond turns his head, his full attention falling onto you. "Surely you've seen your own reflection."

The jab should fall flat. As the only one of your mother's children to be born with features that reflect a more traditionally valyrian appearance, snide comments implying that your brothers aren't truly your brothers are far from new. Even if they're right, it wouldn't matter. Your brothers came from your mother, same as you, and even that isn't the only reason you care for them. They're your family. However, Aemond's smugness makes the comment hard to bear. He's indulging in the power he has over the two of you.

"Call him what you'd like," you say, "You're not going to touch him."

Aemond tilts his chin downwards to make it easier to watch Luke. "Do you always need your sister to defend you?"

Luke lifts his chin slightly, shifting his body forward. "There is nothing to defend. We're leaving."

The excuse to end this interaction offers you a wary sense of relief. You're not convinced that Aemond will be willing to let the two of you pass so easily, but Luke's presented an excuse to allow everyone to walk away before tensions can rise further.

Luke steps away from you, making a point to walks towards the left. Once he's a few paces away from you, you start to walk away as well. You keep your eyes trained on the back of Luke's head, as if that will keep the window from closing.

"I am owed a debt."

You turn on your heels. Luke's farther away from Aemond now, a fact you're grateful for, but now you're practically directly in front of him. The proximity throws you more than it should. The last time you were next to Aemond, the two of you were still friends. He's--you're not sure you've ever noted how tall he's gotten.

You press your lips together, dismissing the feeling. If anything, his height is just another reminder that no part of the boy that used to read with you in the library remains in him. "It will not be paid with my brother's blood."

The silence between the three of you is heavy. A part of you thinks the safest course of action might be grabbing Luke and making a run for it. An escape attempt that hasty comes with its own risks. Aemond is more determined than you've ever seen him. And you can't even truly blame him for his anger, for his hatred.

Aemond has to bear the consequences of a moment's mistake for the rest of his life. Luke took his eye, and when you defended him, you stole his trust. But allowing him to hurt Luke is the kind of cruel justice that resolves nothing.

"Aemond, I'm sorry," the genuineness of the statement knots your stomach, "About what happened." You pause, not completely sure where you're going with this. "You didn't deserve it, but that doesn't change the fact that you're taking advantage of a situation. This isn't justice it is...abuse."

He's quiet, and for a long moment you start to think that you've tugged at the wrong thread and now everything's going to unravel.

Aemond steps forward. You force yourself to stay in place. Luke's a few steps away from Aemond, and if things change that might--that might mean something. "How virtuous." His focus weighs on you enough to force the air out of your lungs. "Then tell me, my princess, how do you suggest the debt be paid?" Aemond takes another step towards you. He's so close now that you have to tilt your chin upwards to hold his gaze. "I wonder how noble you'd be if you yourself were on the line."

The meaning of his words take their time to sink in. Something hard lodges itself in your throat. You swallow in an attempt to dislodge the feeling. "My-My eye?"

"No, little good would come from it." He studies your features with such an openness you have to resist the urge to shrink in on yourself. All you have is your ability to stand firm. "You're worth more unscared." Aemond lets out a breath. "Maybe a wedding is what this family needs."

"What?"

If Aemond thinks anything of your shock, he gives no indication of it. "Marrying Rhaenyra's daughter will only strengthen my family's claim to the throne." The accuracy of the statement turns your stomach.

Noble women are regularly married off as solutions for these kinds of conflicts. It's a way of unifying dividing lines. You do not desire war, nor do you think a hypothetical marriage between you and Aemond would truly fix anything. However, the thought of being used as a political pawn to aid your mother's usurper, makes you want to crawl out of your skin.

Aemond also detests you. Marriage is more often than not about duty. Your mother has never kept that from you. The only thing she's ever assured you of is that when the time came for you to be wed, your match would be compatible. A happy marriage does not begin with love, it begins with respect and an understanding of your duty.

Anything Aemond's trying to force you into wouldn't be that. This is about vengeance, about hurting you and your family even if he has to bind himself to you to do so.

The two of you are trapped. You have no allies, no significant weapons unless you count the two dragons that stand no chance against Vhagar, and you are standing in front of someone demanding to hurt your brother. If this is the only way to guarantee your brother's safe passage back to your mother...

"If I--if I agree...you'll forgive my brother of any debt owed?" The question makes something in your chest ache. "You'll let him go?"

There's a beat in which Aemond's eyebrows seem to draw together, but he returns to neutrality so quickly you're not sure if you've imagined it or not. "You have my word."

"No," Luke's voice is right in your ear. It's his turn to grab your arm. "You can't have her."

"Luke..." His fingers wrap around your forearm, his hold on you growing more desperate. "Luke--listen to me."

He shakes his head. "No." Luke straightens his shoulders, something determined flashing behind his eyes. "No, I can't let you do this."

You turn, placing your free hand over his arm. "I will not risk your safety." He begins to protest again, but you stop him, "Go home and explain the situation to Mother." Luke places a hand over yours, a final attempt at convincing you to try anything else.

"Yes," Aemond echoes, "Go and tell your mother that the girl you consider a sister has to pay for your debts."

Luke turns his head. Despite no longer being able to see his expression, you can feel his anger. "Luke." His stillness is not enough to distract from the fight behind his eyes. "Do you trust me?" It takes him a moment to look away from Aemond, but once he does he nods. "Then I need you to go."

He doesn't exactly relax, but he does let out a breath. You pull your hands away from his before enveloping him in a hug. "It's going to be alright." It takes him a moment to think to place his arms against your back. Luke squeezes you in a way he hasn't in years, holding onto you like you're his entire world. "I will see you again."

You carefully shift back. Luke follows your lead, letting his arms fall to his side. "Yes," he says, eyes briefly shifting back to Aemond, "I will."

"Okay." The word feels fragile. "Go back, be safe."

Luke's eyes are glossy as he nods. If things were normal, he'd playfully scoff at your warnings. "I will see you again."

You nod, and Luke finally turns. He walks away, towards Arrax, towards safety. Whatever was keeping you steady seems to leave with him.

You're allowed a brief moment of silence, of grief, before Aemond speaks. "We'll ride back before the storm begins." In your panic, you had not noticed the clouds overtaking the sky. You think of Luke, riding back alone in the rain. Aemond sighs. "Your sacrifice has not been in vain, it will be some time before the skies make a turn for the worse."

Aemond's ability to read you digs at the back of your mind. It'd bother you more if his reassurance was less needed. You're not sure you can trust your voice, so you nod blankly.

He begins to walk forward. You cannot will yourself to move until Aemond's already ahead of you.

The sight of your dragon quells the loneliness hollowing your chest. Your family is far from you, but Starfyre is still by your side.

Not only are you glad for Starfyre's comfort, you're also thankful for the control of being able to ride on your own. A small part of you is also relieved for the excuse to avoid Vhagar.

You've loved dragons for as long as you can remember, and you've been wary of the larger ones for just as long. It's not exactly a fear, you've just always felt the need to admire them from afar. Even as a child, before Aemond had been able to claim Vhagar, you only wanted to observe her from a safe distance.

No one's comments have ever been able to make you wish that Starfyre was different. Her smaller frame makes you feel more in control when you fly, the two of you melding into one as you approach the skies. She's swift, too, her size allowing her soar through the sky like an arrow that never misses its target.

"I'm sure you'll find a way to keep up on that...runt of yours."

How dare he? He knows what Starfyre is capable of more than most. As a child, her speed fascinated him. A knee-jerk reaction is forced past your lips, "The last thing about this arrangement that should concern you is wether or not Starfyre can keep up."

Aemond pauses, turning to face you. Instead of attempting to insult Starfyre again, he asks, "And what should concern me?"

His words are tinged with a cruel sharpness, a silent warning to watch yourself, to not make threats you cannot follow through on. "You should be concerned that you are full of such spite, that you are willingly entering a union with someone that you have detested since--"

Aemond takes a step forward. You shift towards Starfyre, placing a hand against her side. "Since the day I lost my eye?" Another step. "Since the moment you lied to my father to protect Lucerys after what he did?"

The reality of what happened that day hits you in the chest with enough force to knock the air out of your lungs. Your vision begins to blur. "He's my brother, Aemond."

"And I was your friend." The words come out hard and fast, his voice nearly breaking on the final syllable.

The honesty cracks something in your chest. Helaena, who you loved, often left you in favor of a world that you couldn't always follow her to. The other boys, who had once let you run around with them, outgrew you. But Aemond--Aemond was always yours.

Aemond scoffs. "You cannot pretend that what you did was enough to make me loathe you. I wrote to you." The letter, one detailing his new reality and desire to speak with you, has been a secret of yours for years. You've kept it tucked between the pages of your favorite book, only taking it out to reread in the middle of the night, with the rest of your family fast asleep. "And you never wrote back."

You blink in an attempt to clear your vision. "I did." The confession burns as it crawls up your throat. "But I couldn't bring myself to send you a raven."

"Because this--" Aemond moves forward in long strides. He's directly in front of you before you can think to move. He turns his head, making it impossible for you to not see his scar in its entirety. "I repulse you."

Is that what he thinks? You remain unflinching, allowing yourself to take in his scar and the appearance of his sapphire eye openly. "No." There has to be some way to put it into words. "I-I couldn't bring myself to speak to you. After the way we left things--After what I had done--I was repulsed by myself." You cut yourself off with a shaky breath. "Accepting your friendship after what I had done felt--cruel."

Aemond straightens. For a brief moment, there is only you, him, and the wound that lies between you. Then his expression's fiery edge morphs into something made of stone. "Ever the martyr."

The insult lacks any significant bite. You let your thumb brush against Starfyre's side, relishing in the comfort of her presence. "Better a martyr than someone so desperate for gratification, they are willing to hurt themselves in the process of earning it."

Ranting at him feels hollow, a motion you're going through for the sake of doing something. Aemond seems to sense some lack of fight in your phrasing, or maybe he's growing tired of this. "We should go," Aemond turns away from you, "The weather's changing."

Even though he's no longer watching you, you nod before returning your attention to Starfyre.

----

a/n this was really fun to write, but it was getting long so i decided to break it up, if you're interested in a part 2/would like to be tagged pls lmk :)

also!! if u have any hotd thoughts in general pls feel free to send me them <3

[umeji-writes]

Okay, but let's talk about Balam's hair for a hot second

(Yes, it may have become one of my fixations) You know, the guy not only cut it radically - and we know it's because of Iruma - he also let it grow back, and now he grooms it much better than before. Why? While my wishful thinking headcanon is that Kalego offered to brush it after they declared their feelings for each other (they are definitely introduced as best friends, but c'mon, look at them here)

...I also recognize this is not canon, so it can't be the actual reason. So I was wondering: why this difference? IMO it signifies personal growth, but what caused it, if Iruma led to the haircut? And then it hit me. Meeting Iruma, again - but in a deeper way than I thought at first. According to Balam's own words, he decided to cut his hair to appear more approachable. But why not brush it and style it as he's doing now? Everything we know about Balam's past points to him being treated like a weirdo and marginalized, not only because he likes picture books, he was also hyperfixated with the existence of humans.

This went on all his life, from bullies at school to his own students. He was likely wounded, full of self doubt and possibly shame, so he withdrew into himself, and his hair was messy because why bother if people avoid you anyway. So imagine finally having tangible proof that you were right all along. That's life changing, not only because of the discovery itself - it can make you reevaluate your whole story, and yourself. A radical cut was a logical thing to do, to break with the past. But why letting the hair grow back then? I speculate that Balam is most comfortable with long hair after all, and he feels more like himself this way (I mean, he had medium-to-long hair in all flashbacks). I like to think that his personal grooming is a metaphor for his newly found self confidence and self love: he can be himself to the fullest, he likes the demon he is, and he's not afraid of showing it to everyone else now, by making his hair prettier. He was right all along, and everybody else can shut it.

Such a small detail in the grand scheme of things, yet enormous for the single character. I love this manga so much ♡

[broomsick]

Hi,

I was wondering if you have any advice for learning to believe that the gods care about us as individuals?

When I see people saying that the gods really don’t care about us in the grand scheme of things, I find that easier to believe than to believe they care about us, which kinda feels .. shit. Although maybe it’s true, I’m not sure.

I honour Loki, but because I find it hard to believe that they care about me at all (especially given I can’t communicate with him – so he can’t tell me if he does or not, and I don’t want to assume), I feel like it puts distance between us on my end.

I apologise if this is a bit heavy or difficult to answer, don’t stress if you can’t, you’re fine to delete it! But if you have any advice, I’d greatly appreciate it.

Hi there! I definitely understand the way you feel, and from time to time, I experience this very same sentiment as well. I think asking oneself this sort of question comes naturally to many of us, because pragmatic thinking could have us believe the divine is somehow too great to care about us measly earthlings.

But let’s break down this idea that’s being spread around pagan social media platforms, according to which the Gods are too busy, too grand, or too powerful to care about their followers. I’ve never been a fan of this sort of over-the-top cynical rhetoric. Still, I think there’s no better way to tackle pragmatic thinking than in a pragmatic way. The way I see it, this perception of the divine stems from a will to fully detach oneself from common monotheistic concepts. The fact is that a lot of neo-pagans, including popular pagan content creators, come from a Christian background. Some of these creators, whether polytheistic, animistic, both, or else, seem very keen on rejecting any spiritual concept or practice deemed monotheistic in nature, such as the idea that the divine can love us. Neo-paganism entails new ideas, and therefore, any perception of the divine that’s akin to that of the big monotheistic religions is either naive, or shows remnants of monotheistic thinking. However, there’s nothing naive about believing that the divine can care about us. I can believe this, just like I can believe that this or that deity presides over this or that matter in life. Belief systems work in a way that allow for specific ideas of the divine to form, and to vary from person to person. And after all,—just as an aside—, if an entity is powerful enough to be considered divine, then they are powerful enough to know about each of their followers, regardless of how many there are. Now, I don’t think there’s any need to specify that polytheism is inherently spiritual. This means that its very foundations are built upon personal gnosis, and belief in concepts that cannot be proven. No such thing as logic regulates matters of spirituality. So why should we, as theists whose beliefs aren’t commanded by any sort of authority or rule set, be so rigidly pragmatic in this case?

In the end, it all comes down to what we personally believe, and what we’ve personally experienced. Who’s to prove that the Gods don’t love us? And if I saw some stranger on social media tell me “hey um, your God doesn’t care about you by the way”, I would think that 1. Me and this person probably don’t even perceive the divine in the same manner at all; 2. Nothing and nobody dictates belief but the believer themselves; and 3. My experience has proven to me that the Gods care for us, and it’s proof enough. But let me elaborate on that matter further.

In most pagan paths, deities embody different natural phenomena and elements of human life. That’s the way the very first forms of polytheism developed. And to me at least, that’s also the way we as pagans experience their presence firsthand. The Gods are all around us: we can see them because we can see forests, seas, storms, fire, rain… And when you see it that way, they are infinitely closer to us than some cynical social media accounts would have us believe. They don’t sit on golden thrones above the clouds, far away from the human condition. Their presence is tightly intertwined with the earth. So why should “the forest, seas, storms” etc etc care for us? Well my friend, have you ever spent time by a river, and felt that it had a soul of its own? Have you ever felt a bond with a specific tree, or got the sense that the storm was alive somehow? That is something I worship as a pagan. And in my personal experience, the God’s burning, all encompassing love can be felt in these sorts of moments. I don’t need for them to tell me directly. It’s like looking into a loved one’s eyes and feeling that they love you, even though not a single word was spoken. I know how difficult it can be to put one’s faith in such a thing, when it’s already hard for us to even communicate with the Gods. That’s why we keep an eye out for signs from them. And even so, we might never truly grasp their thoughts. If anything, that’s something we know for sure about the divine. If you want my opinion, believing that the Gods love us is a perfectly sound choice to make. They send us their blessings in too many ways to count, sometimes in the form of well-needed change, reassurance, comfort… And if you believe that a certain blessing was sent by the Gods, doesn’t that already showcase a certain care? Even for those who see deity worship as purely transactional (an offering for a blessing and vice-versa), the very idea that a deity would send a blessing implies care for the followers who make the offering. And since me, along with innumerable other pagans, have received blessings without necessarily having to ask or perform some sort of huge offering ritual, I’ve naturally decided that the Gods love their followers. Everybody else can feel free to believe what they will, but my faith, intuition and experience have told me so.

Don’t let your mood be undermined by what people say on the internet, but more importantly, don’t let other people dictate what’s true and what’s false about your experience of spirituality. Let yourself believe what you want to believe, there’s nothing wrong with that at all. You don’t owe anybody proof of what you have faith in.

[godsfavoritescientist]

Drabble request: post-canon "happy" ending for Bill & Ford, but find some way to imply that something super fucked up is going on just beneath the surface. Mind control, dream bubble fantasy, idk, dealer's choice, just something messed up.

Fragments of what was once Earth drift through the empty vacuum of space. They sit together on a summoned-up couch, watching it all float by. Ford fidgets with his brand new eye-shaped gold cufflinks. His ornately-embroidered sleeves are drenched in blood.

The henchmaniacs are busy elsewhere, expanding their reign of benevolent terror to the outer reaches of the galaxy. This mostly entails eating space rocks and crashing planets into eachother. For the first time since Ford accepted Bill’s offer, they’ve had time to really sit down and chat.

Bill throws an arm over Ford’s shoulder. “Lemme tell you something, Sixer. It doesn’t really matter how necessary it was–and believe me, it was necessary! What matters more is that it was the most fun you’ll ever have! Now that you’re immortal, I won’t sugarcoat it: Earth’s entire existence is a blip in the grand scheme of things. It was like a really dry log: destined to be burned!” He pats Ford on the back. “So don’t let me catch you moping about it.”

“I’m not moping,” Ford bristles, leaning away from Bill’s touch. “I’m contemplating.”

“Hah! Contemplating! You hear this guy?” Bill asks an imaginary audience, gesturing at Ford with his thumb. “Well contemplate this: we’ve got ultimate power over the entire multiverse. You might as well be a god. You can spend an eternity studying everything that ever was and ever will be. This is a sweet deal no matter how you spin it!”

Ford makes a noncommital sound. “That very well may be true, and I am grateful to you, but… human emotion is not so easy to logic away, I’m afraid. I want to move on as easily as you did, but…” he shrugs helplessly. “It’s just hard to believe it’s gone.”

Bill pats him on the back. “A little bit of shock is normal! Took me a few weeks to work through. Of course, I was brand new to the third dimension too, so it shouldn’t take quite that long for you. But humans are more emotional than shapes, so I’ll be patient! Don’t say I never did anything for ‘ya.”

Ford doesn’t meet his eyes. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. Now! You know what helps me when I’m like this? A good distraction! There’s bound to be dozens of my enemies tracking us down right now–it’s not exactly hard to miss a whole planet blowing up. So we’d better get a head start on things, attack first before any of them can put us on the defensiv-” Bill squints at something approaching from the distance. “Hey, what’s that?”

Ford looks up sharply. It takes a few seconds to spot it, but as it gets closer, it’s unmistakable: a steely-gray entirely flat object, no more than two feet wide and long, flying towards them.

Once it’s right between them, it slows to a stop. From above, it’s clearly shaped like a 2D spacecraft, except that all four walls are enclosed, not just the perimeter.

A stick-thin door opens up, and out floats a dozen multicolored geometric shapes, all with skin covering their bodies from above and below, not just around their perimeter.

For the first time in eons, Bill is too stunned to speak a single word.

The leader of the group, a irregularly-shaped silver isoceles triangle, speaks first. “It’s you! It’s really you! We were starting to think you died in the aftermath of our dimension’s death. But the energy signals we’ve been following over the past week… we knew it couldn’t be anyone else.”

Bill’s voice is very quiet, and much less echoey than usual, as he says, “I thought you all died. I made sure you all died.”

The little silver triangle laughs. “Nope! The cleverest of us were able to escape. Your destruction only took the lives of those unwilling to change, unwilling to adapt to the higher dimensions. And the lives we’ve led since then have been so much better than anything our homeworld could have ever offered to us. We owe you a great deal.”

As he listens to this, Bill glows brighter and brighter and brighter, until he’s glowing the brightest that he’s ever been. “I knew it! I knew the worthy ones would live, I knew there was a way out for ones like you!”

He turns to Ford with a brilliant gleam in his eye. “Ford, these are survivors from my home dimension! Do you know how long it’s been? At least a trillion years! These guys are persistent. More than worthy of joining the gang, right Ford?”

Ford looks just as overjoyed as Bill. “Absolutely—but this is incredible! Liberating my dimension didn’t just give me an eternity at your side, but it’s also allowed these shapes to finally find you!” He shakes his head in wonder. “This whole time, you were right, Bill. You were right about everything. If our first act as joint-rulers of the multiverse can accomplish something of this scope, then there’s nothing we can’t accomplish together.”

Bill embraces Ford in a hug that sends them both twirling through outerspace. “Isn’t it exhilirating? Being free from all those stupid little ties to a planet that’ll be dead and gone in the blink of an eye?”

Ford nods wholeheartedly. “There’s a whole multiverse out there for the taking. You’ve finally made me see that.”

He lets go of Bill, and looks back at the handful of shapes floating nearby. “You must have so many questions. I know I do. But I’ll let you catch up with Bill, first.”

Bill zooms back to face the shapes. “Boy do I ever!!! How long do you guys live now that you’ve adapted yourselves to a three-dimensional world, because we’re gonna be here for a while.”

The group settles in for a very long chat, exchanging stories and ideas and many cups of tea. And way off in the distance, far out of Bill’s line of sight, his little world’s edge glimmers with the iridescence of a soap bubble.

[phillipfancypants]

I wish I knew people irl who like Stormlight so i shall submit you all to my ramblings instead.

This song is so Kaladin coded and I feel like people more creative than me need to be aware of its existence.

My personal interpretation of the lyrics below the cut:

“There’s a voice that pulls me stumbling through a symphony // and the less of it I need the more I get” (the calling of honor and his need to do the right thing, even when it always ends up with him worse off than he started)

“Till I’m swept up by the shape of all the centuries // like an echo in the chambers of my chest” (his connection to the history of Roshar as a Knight Radiant)

“I think she fears I’ll be a servant to my history” (the “she” in this song reads very much as Syl to me. This is referring to every time Kal goes into a dark place when he thinks of all the people he’s lost)

���Or worse a slave to someone else’s misplaced doubts” (he’s often feeling he has to prove himself as worthy)

“And so I try to hard to kill what’s out to kill me// until I’m blind and hiding in the lion’s mouth” (he’s often blinded by his duty to protect himself and his companions that he ends up in over his head. This reads very much like book 1 to me with the bridge maneuvers)

“And the words she aches to hear pour through my canyon//and they’re singing in the caverns of my limbs” (the words are the ideals, also caverns makes me think of the chasms )

“And though I do my best to try to understand them // they only follow me like vultures in the end” (most of book 3&4 have Kaladin struggling to find and speak the fourth ideal. Also the symbolism of vultures being animals that prey on the dead. Kaldin’s 4th ideal is that there will be those he cannot protect, and the words follow him like vultures, surrounding those he’s lost)

“I once read that I should write something worth reading // or I should do something worth writing about” (these feel like the influence of Lirin and Dalinar on his life, Lirin wanting him to help people through the study of medicine and Dalinar encouraging him to join him in battles)

“As my ears they buzz like bees upon the ceiling//I start to pour a little more than I’m allowed” (all the feelings of what people want him to be and what he himself wants to be are overwhelming)

“I said our hearts know deeper seasons than our memories//she said this harvest might sustain us for a year” (this one is weird but I think it’s saying that the gut feelings of why you make the choices you do are more important that the logical reasons. Kaladin nearly breaks his oaths a couple of times doing what’s right, and Syl is telling him that this way of living isn’t sustainable for either of them)

“And of all the thousand ways the world could tempt me//I’ve never met a better fighter than her fear” (the world seems to be designed to make Kaladin give up, which is Syl’s biggest fear)

“So as I try to breathe the air that she is breathing//and we dance a lightless dance upon my floor” (idk I haven’t found a way to connect this yet other than that air and dance are often associated with Syl)

“I am yearning to tell her she’s all I’m needing//but I’m drowned out by all the noise outside the door” (the noise outside the door being all the directions Kal is being pulled in between his family, his squires, all of urithuru, his own depression, and everything else that I’m forgetting)

“Carried by the current of the morning//miles below the surface of the dawn” (Kaladin’s depression is like night, and the dawn is the light of being able to move on. Being miles below the surface, he knows a better world is up there, but it seems impossibly far)

“This is not the place that I was born in//that doesn’t mean it’s not the place where I belong” (he was raised a dark-eyed surgeon’s son and now is a soldier and a symbol of hope to his country. I love that the song ends with him coming to terms with his place in the grand scheme of things, and knowing that he is enough and he can protect those he loves)

[barleyalive101]

Re8 is kind of better than Re4R in my opinion, it has better puzzles ( more puzzles than re4 ) , not as action oriented, kind of scarier , better graphics even though it came before it , the only problem re8 got that unfortunately makes re4r better than it at the grand scheme of things , is the plot.

Capcom aren’t know for their amazing plots but they aren’t bad generally, they deliver some good plot for a horror game , it keeps you engaged, without any plot holes ( it’s an action game , you gotta kiss some logics goodbye same thing as in action movies) (p:s haven’t played re6 yet or re 5 , have played re3r , re2r , re1 , re7 , re8 , revelation 1&2)

Resident evil 8 plot has some plot holes that can’t be ignored, main problem is in Chris Redfield himself, it made no sense that Chris couldn’t see mother Miranda not dying with a few bullets , like he saw Wesker get barbecued, yet still live , he has fought a tyrant as I know in CV but he’s shocked that mother Miranda didn’t die immediately? 30 something years of experience people 30 yrs of seeing things not die immediately as they should plus what kind of shit ass protection is the BSAA got for not being able to protect Ethan , you’re telling me these are the best of the best ? , Chris not telling Ethan that Mia isn’t Mia was kind of given a reason , while chris was talking to one of his team members, he says that he didn’t want mother Miranda to know his plans , fearing she was eavesdropping somehow , then that gets erased as in the last chris cameo when his team tells him why he didn’t tell Ethan he goes , I should have told him….? you actually gave a good reason in the beginning that should have been explained more but go off I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️ . Capcom is really sitting here telling me that Chris couldn’t carry scrawny Ethan on his shoulder like a potato sack and run , that man is built like a machine , he punches boulders in re5 , Capcom should have kept the 3 way fight ( Chris vs werewolves vs BSAA zombie soldiers) have him get some injury to make it more believable that he couldn’t carry Ethan to safety , ( they can’t get the helicopter near Ethan’s location cause of the trees as we see the trees attacking the other BSAA helicopters so that idea is crossed off ) the other alpha team members, idk they were protecting the copter as it’s their only way of getting out but they couldn’t spare one member !? To come aid Chris , as we don’t see him fighting anyone on the way back so most enemies were gone , one carries baby rose while Chris carries Ethan boom problem solved . It felt like Capcom wanted to kill Ethan so bad , they didn’t care to make it believable , it was sad and emotional but not believable. It didn’t make sense. So it ruins the experience for me

It would have been way better if another BSAA member attacked and kidnapped the winters family , lying and saying it was Chris’s orders to relocate them to a temporary safe location ( putting the shock factor of WTH Chris ) while Chris was hooked up in another assignment that he couldn’t postpone or put on the side , only finding out after coming back to check on the winters family , and seeing the house in a ruin , this way explaining why Chris kinda felt late in re8 , Ethan was to be killed but lives due to the fungus or escapes , mia and rose are taken to mother Miranda, later on revealing that BSAA or some other organization agreed to helping Miranda or worked with her and they were the ones that sent the soldiers and they lied and used Chris’s name in order to gain the winter’s family trust to go with them.

My baby boy Chris doesn’t deserve the hate he’s getting from the newer fans who played re8 first/only

[shikishake]

so I’m largely writing this because I feel like I have to, for closure, y’know? I’ve been posting bits about most of the really impactful episodes of the second season of this show so it wouldn’t feel right not talking about the ending at all.

I’ve seen criticism floating around that the ending was rushed. I agree with that criticism, but I also don’t find myself really caring. could the ending have been better paced? sure. is the narrative conclusion to EVERYTHING perfect? nope. but I’m not left feeling that weird hollow feeling you get when you really enjoy a show and then it ends in a shitshow, largely because the parts that I wanted to happen mostly happened. the series as a whole doesn’t feel lesser for the flaws of the ending, and the things the ending DOES do right make up for it, in my opinion.

getting the obvious out of the way: they didn’t pussy out. the ending isn’t vaguely tragic and open-ended, and they didn’t pull a “and they were best friends forever :)” with sulemio. they’re married. they didn’t KISS or anything, but that’s not really necessary, even if a small part of me kinda wanted to see it anyway. they’re happy and safe and together. mission accomplished.

moving on, nika faced consequences. I was REALLY happy to see that. she was a small part of it, in the grand scheme of things, but she DID play a role in getting a lot of innocent people killed. it’s good that there were consequences for that. shaddiq faced consequences. again, awesome. shaddiq was a lot more directly responsible for a lot more death and misery, and I’m pretty sure the implication is that shaddiq will be spending the rest of his life in jail. I’m not actually a super big fan of life sentences, as I feel like prison should be about rehabilitation rather than punishment, but it would’ve felt a lot more hollow if shaddiq got away with a slap on the wrist. he did bad things. he should take responsibility for that. it’s good that he, and the show as a whole, recognizes that, even if “spend the rest of your life in prison” isn’t actually the conclusion I would have reached. I’m not sure what conclusion I WOULD have liked, but the crux of the issue is that there ARE consequences.

all of that makes the fact that prospera faces NO consequences... weird. I get it, crippled old lady with no direct evidence linking her to her crimes, but it feels EXCEEDINGLY frustrating to know that, after what she did at quinharbor especially, prospera’s ending is... getting to sit with her family in a nice field. it feels like she should have taken responsibility to SOME extent, if not legally than in some other way. that being said, I can forgive the show for this. not really because I agree with it, but because I think that suletta deserves a happy ending without strings attached, and even though I don’t think prospera is a very good mother or a very good person, suletta clearly loves her. if prospera being in her life is part of her happy ending, I think I can forgive it.

I have no idea if delling faced consequences. I like to think he did? but also I like to think miorine had a chance to... not reconnect, because I think that bridge has been burned even if their relationship has improved slightly over the course of the show, but find closure with her father. I also like to think he actually apologized and owned up to the FUCKTON of abuse he put miorine through but I’m well aware that I’m chasing a fantasy there.

um. permet ghosts. they don’t quite make sense in-universe, honestly, but I don’t really care. they were a very nice way to tie-up the narrative themes and character arcs of the people they affected, and I’ve always been the kind of person that can value thematic and symbolic parts of a narrative above the strictly logical side. I don’t really need to know how and why permet ghosts exist beyond what was explained in like, a single line, because it felt satisfying and thematically appropriate to have them. they did what they needed to do, and I can suspend my disbelief enough to quiet the part of me that questions the “how”.

I KNEW there was some shit up with elan prime. then again, I also thought it was a lot more “oh shit I just realized how in over my head I am, that’s a lot of people that are gonna be murdered and it’s overpowering my learned habit of reducing human life to numbers on a sheet of paper, this might be a bad idea”, and not as much “ya’ll are boring and I’m tired of you, see you in hell, peace out”. but I’m not sure how in-character the former would’ve been, so *shrug*.

eri in a keychain is JUST funny enough for me to forget that she killed people. well actually that’s a lie, it’s just that there’s very little ways that eri’s story could have wrapped up, really. either she dies in a heroic sacrifice to redeem her sins, which I never really like for a multitude of reasons and also feels really cruel to a child that has spent most of her life trapped in a giant robot after her family, her life and her future were robbed from her by corporate assholes, or she lives in some kind of weirdo in-between life, like she has been doing as aerial for like 17 years (or more?) but hopefully a little less awful. I like the latter better. I don’t think in-universe lore can justify giving her a new body, which I would’ve REALLY liked purely because even if she’s done some bad shit I think eri deserves to live as herself, with full freedom. but this is okay too.

suletta getting to fulfill her dream of opening up a school is *chef’s kiss*. miorine getting to be a girlboss for a cause that she believes in is also *chef’s kiss*. them being a happy couple is *chef’s kiss* squared.

all in all, I’d say the ending was a 7/10. I’m satisfied, even if it’s not perfect. that being said, the entire show as a whole remains at a 9/10 for me. is good. lesbians in space becomes political drama becomes high-stakes war tragedy becomes family drama becomes lesbians in space again. time well spent.

[brandwhorestarscream]

Cryptoid Seeker SS courting Megatron by bringing him his enemies (injured from capture, not dead. Still fun to hunt).

I imagine seekers having a specific ritual for non-seeker mates. Maybe zooming around, doing general Arial feats, bring their mates the injured enemies as an offering (similar but dulled down version of the seeker to seeker wing offering)?

Btw, the zooming and offering thing is found in Falcons. That, or they bring them Shiney things. But eh.

I also feel like cybermorphs courting would be super stupid. Like a wasps. Like, sitting on the ground, staring right at their desired mate, making a very specific buzzing sound kind of stupid. That, or maybe something like a white pufferfish (who draws weird geometric patterns in the sand to attract a mate). Imagine both. Megs draws a circle thing, sits in the middle, and stares at SS. That'd be hilarious.

Maybe some hidden horror with some mantis like behaviors? But combined with some wasp behavior, resulting in a bite to the neck cables that numbs the mates senses, making them unaware enough not to hold back? That'd be fragged up.

Or even? Some hidden secret that only seekers get affected in a different way than most. Like, they end up with seeker eggs that hold the cybermorphs eggs inside? And when the eggs do the explody thing, the cybermorphs are the squishy inside, having already combined with the seekerling to make this super parasitic version that makes housing one 10x worse.

Sorry for the long rant. I love the cryptiods.

Do not ever apologize for going on long rants, they genuinely make my day so much better 💖 first of all I love everything you've put here, but BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE!

I need to know more about the seekerling-cybermorph crossover. Tell me everything. Like the inside of the eggs, I wanna know every little detail about it. When you say the explodey thing, do you mean the cryptid seekerlings rupturing from their egg sacs early and seeking host in nearby fuel tanks? Cuz that's not always what happens with them, and is in fact an emergency defense mechanism to maximize survival chance. Usually they just carefully break free of their shells when their development is complete. So, tell me about these eggs, squishy cybermorph filling, I need to know! Gimme every. Single. Detail 👀 cuz like. All my mind is envisioning is like. A two layer egg, whetein the baby cybermorph is the center, kinda like the yolk, and an individual baby seekerling is in the outermembrane, and. Obviously that's not what's happening 😅 but super parasitic babies that are 10 times worse? I need to know!!

Also just, hear me out 👀 I love all these courtship ideas, but I'd like to pitch something to make it even funnier. Cybermorphs are very recent development on Cybertron in the grand scheme of things, and have only been around for a handful of generations (probably less than 5). Megatron is from the very first gen, so consider: even he doesn't entirely understand courtship. It's entirely instinctual and the logical part of him doesn't understand these weird urges. Like... what about this weird vibration/frequency he's giving off is attractive? The weird geometry, why is that considered attractive? He's a stranger to his own biology--the entire planet is, really--and secretly he's rather frustrated and embarrassed about it. He tries to match Starscream's energy, but what can he do for someone that can cross the entire planet in only a few megacycles? He can't just leave his hive and go gallavanting around just to impress the potential sire of his future children. Maybe he turns to tactics and battlefield prowess to impress him; it's a good thing too, because Starscream loves some good bloodshed 🤭

I'm also super down for the numbing bite. Cryptid seekers already spit venom, and the cybermorph biology is largely underdeveloped, so honestly either of them could. Maybe Starscream is venomous, Megatron is poisonous XD maybe he produces some kind of intoxicating pheromone that dulls the senses or hypnotizes, as a queen variant 🤔 or maybe it's a toxic, addictive aphrodisiac? Maybe he can produce multiple varieties! Something that releases inhibitions and makes his partner go hard, fast, and uncaring, with fertilization being the only important thing

Regardless. Terrifying parasitic Megatron and Starscream being fuck buddies that coparent? I love it

[acourtofthought]

Since Sarah said the main plot of the spin off books is connected, how do you think it will play out over the next 2 books? I think Elucien’s book is next and while they free Vassa and the other girls Koschei is holding, they’ll free him, too. Then the next book will deal with a war against Koschei, like ACOWAR. And if Koschei dies in Elucien’s book, that leaves no villains for the next book since that whole plot is finished.

I do agree that Elucien's book will involve freeing Vassa and the others though I see some things somewhat different 😊 Since SJM had once mentioned that she knew who the first two books would be about but was unsure of the third, to me that means (if Elucien was meant to be the one to defeat Koschei, which I do think is the case since they need their own "villain" to take out and he's the one who harmed Lucien's friend), Koschei was never meant to last beyond book 2. We know Nesta was getting a book and she said she'd done research for Elain's book. So logically, they were books 1 and 2 of the spinoffs, leaving the third up in the air. If Elucien dealing with Koschei was meant to be the final (third) book, then why would she have commented that she was leaving the third open? The Bone Carver and the Weaver were supposed to be these scary intimidating figures but their deaths were fairly anticlimactic in the sense that it didn't take much to defeat them. Koschei is their brother. Yes, the Bone Carver was afraid of him but he was afraid of his sister (the Weaver) too and she was gone in an instant. And Lanthy's, a death god, was easily defeated by Nesta all on her own. So how big a bad is Koschie really? I think she always intended for the third and final spinoff to be about the next war and the human / fae armies on other sides of the continent are more than enough of a threat to Prythian than a single sorcerer. I think now that she's added the crossover into the mix, it's going to lead to an even bigger threat, with the possibilities of the bad guys from other worlds crossing over (especially beings like the Asteri, who we're told have been trying to find their way back to Prythian). So to me, book 2 would be about defeating Koschei. He's been the one sowing discord along with the human queens but even after his death, the war would still be a concern since there is now the quest for land to rule over and greedy people don't just forget that. I don't think book 2 was ever meant to be the actual war and if it was an Elucien book, that makes sense to me because Elucien aren't primarily warriors. They would heavily influence the turn of the political tides before the battle and I imagine their journey would take them away from the NC (so less Feysand and Nessian). But the politics need handled before the fighting. Plus, in my opinion Spring has now become the most important immediate plot point in the grand scheme of things. We've heard time and again how they need it up and running, that it's at risk for being taken over by enemies, but how Tamlin isn't getting better. And Spring is an Elucien issue to resolve. If a war were to take place in book 3, Gwynriel makes sense to me because their POV will feature a good bit of Nessian and Feysand as they belong to the same court and no war happens without major input from Feysand. And Gwyn and Az, as warriors, getting the POV during the actual battle seems logical enough to me. SJM has signed on for new books so maybe that has changed her plans but I do still think that Koschei (especially with the addition of the crossover), is a fluffy house cat at this point in terms of villains. With the introduction of time travel, there are way worse things in the multiverse that can crossover and I don't see Elucien running point on that.

[ultimateaclrecovery]

Went to a 1920s themed murder mystery party for my friends 30th birthday!

I had fun dressing up and vaguely attempting to play a character

I am a little disappointed in myself because he had a cool photo drop set up and I didn’t get a photo. I asked my BFF is he wanted one and he said he didn’t care, and instead of saying that I would like one (to which he almost certainly would’ve come and taken one with me) I just said okay. And know I don’t have a photo because I didn’t ask for one.

But I did have lots of fun putting the fringe on sequin dress to turn it into a flapper dress. And I got to drink more of my sparkly purple cocktail left over from my birthday which was great.

And then the next morning me and the boy went to see the little mermaid 😊 he had no interest in the movie but went because I wanted to see it. It was my favorite movie as a kid so it fun to relive the nostalgia and overall it was v cute, but I think I prefer the animated version. It was fun that they had new songs but they just weren’t as good as the originals. And flounder was quite frankly horrifying. But I still had a good time and I enjoyed the mermaids and all the scenes where they were exploring the island were really fun and delightful.

But then on the car ride back it was just really quite and when I would ask him things I would just get short or even one word answers and he wouldn’t ask me anything in return and just felt like trying to talk to a brick wall and it made me so sad. And then he collected his stuff my house and left and like as soon as I closed I burst into sobs. And just like full on cried for several minutes. And then found my self looking into trying to change my Japan flight, but I bought an un changeable flight so there’s nothing to do there. Because I was convinced that being that sad over nothing had to mean it was a sign that the relationship was over and completely doomed and that it was a sign that he no longer liked me.

And then several hours later I felt better about everything and back to day dreaming about how we’re going to be together. It’s so strange. Objectively everything is fine with the relationship. We hang out a couple of times a week, he’s super considerate and generally a really good boy friend, I still think he’s super attractive, wee still mostly have a good time together. It’s just sometimes a little quite. And he does leave the toilet seat up. But that’s it. That’s the list of complaints. But have had this nagging feeling sometimes that he likes me in spite of all of quirks (like he finds all the purple and glitter annoying instead of endearing) and not because of them. Like maybe maybe I’m just the hottest person he could get to date him so he’s settling for me. It doesn’t help that last fall I lost like ten pounds so when we started dating in January I was the smallest I’ve been in a while, and now I’ve very slowly gained back maybe three ish pounds. Which like in the grand scheme of things is nothing, but you can’t logic with insecurities.

Or maybe he’s just been super tired lately and I need to supportive and do more for him instead of him always doing things for me (he doesn’t legitamently Plan most of our dates, admittedly partly because he just cares way more about food places than I do). And that I should generally stop freaking out about nothing. But also if like half of our interactions make me cry that’s not a sign that things are working. Even if I can’t pinpoint exactly what, it’s not a good way to be.

Anyway the party was fun!

[homophyte]

thank you for the long & thought out response. while i do fully agree with you on stances like prison abolition & the myth of the stranger pedophile scapegoat, my question and discomfort with jimmy’s actions comes not so much from a political/philosophical standpoint but from a very human emphatic one. i put myself in the shoes of the girl he groomed and abused and imagine people listening to and enjoying the music of my abuser and it makes me sick to my stomach. so thats more where my guilt and discomfort comes from. that said i can’t say that their music doesn’t have an impact or isn’t enjoyable. i also agree with you that this mass outrage and very public renunciation and demand for punishment is very much a social mechanism and automatic reaction that quite simplifies a complex situation. however these mechanisms exist for a certain evolutionary purpose after all (sorry my background is psychology) but thats sort of besides the point because im also not a fan of how these things get handled with zero nuance. 

its also true what you said that me or you or anyone deciding to disengage with this band or their music changes nothing in the grand scheme of things, so doing it as some sort of Noble Cause against abuse is useless. so in this case i feel it’s up to personal preference and whether or not i can swallow the cognitive dissonance and discomfort this information arises in me whenever i listen to their music from now on. 

thanks again for the insightful response, i’m glad we can have this sort of discussion because i also think this topic is extremely important but people often shy away from it because it’s so heavy. 

im glad you asked me to share! like i said ive spent a lot of time thinking abt this specifically so its very much like years worth of mishmash thoughts kinda strung together only by me experiencing them over time in succession lol. but i agree its important to talk about it especially within a culture so ensnared in the logic of the prison and particularly how effectively thats been exported into like 'mob justice' for lack of a better word.

re: the emotive aspect im not sure i have much to say other than like Yeah its a very strong one and i dont think its a bad thing at all to have. i got the impression from ur ask--and idk how true this is--that you were wrestling between a desire to return to the music bc you enjoyed it and that response preventing you and feeling a sort of obligation to do one over the other n struggling with that. so i think i approached it as like 'heres ways you can reason w that emotional response and grapple w it if its smth ur agonizing over' or something like that. im also a firm believer in the ways politics shapes the ways we think n feel so my instinct was to tease out some of the structures that may be shaping ur thought processes--which of course i nor anyone but you can fully know. but i dont get that same sense from how u describe it here and either way i think whatever feeling ur having about it is like...i dont want to say its 'valid' but ur allowed to have that and do whatever you want pretty much lol. i cant and am not going to force anyone to engage w the band and theres probably more reasons than i could think to list why its not for everyone even without the sordidness of abuse hanging over it.

without getting into a much much broader discussion i would gently push back on the idea of a biologically innate reason for the existence of carceral/punitive logics (and frankly psychology more broadly), if only bc it does a lot of the work of justifying them. keep in mind that these are concepts ideas and patterns of thought that exist because they serve systems of power and particularly the state. we did not have to have a society which created them, we only happen to--which is to say theyre not innate in this way and i disagree that they have an 'evolutionary' purpose bc it fails to properly historicize them. but thats me coming from an antipsych position lol

[amewinterswriting]

Happy no pressure STS! How would your OCs approach the trolley problem?

For those unaware, the trolley problem is: a series of thought experiments in ethics and psychology, involving stylized ethical dilemmas of whether to sacrifice one person to save a larger number. It's usually represented as a trolley/tram/train on a track approaching a junction, and on each branch of the junction there are a number of people who would be hurt or killed by the trolley. The dilemma is whether or not to change the course of the trolley and change who would be hurt by the trolley. And of course, you can play with the specifics: how many people on track 'a' and how many people on track 'b', or someone on one of the tracks is morally 'worse' than the other track, if a person on one track is an organ donor so would actually be saving more lives with their death...etc. But essentially, the moral quandary is 'do nothing and let a lot of people die and it isn't really your fault' or 'do something and definitely kill one person by your own actions'.

Talli

Talli wants to know what a trolley is, first of all. (There used to be a tram service in Swansea, which stopped operating in 1937.) Once you explained that, she would want to know who the hell is trapping people on the lines and why. And whether they can be stopped. If you really pushed her for an answer, she would eventually reason out to hurt the fewest amount of people she could, even if she didn't like it much, because that just makes more sense, doesn't it?

Cerberus

Cerberus would need a little clarification that this is absolutely hypothetical, there isn't an actual trolley and actual people getting hurt. That it's just an ethics thought experiment. And he would hem and haw and avoid the question for as long as possible because deep down, he knows he would do nothing, close his eyes and try to tell himself there was never anything he could have done differently.

Eira

If Eira is asked, she'll simply sigh and respond: "Dychwelaf at fy nghoed." and she will fly off. No one knows if she means it literally or not. (Welsh note: There is a turn of phrase 'Dod yn ôl at fy nghoed' which is literally 'return to my trees' but figuratively means to relax/reflect and calm down - similar to how 'return to nature' in English carrying the intention of destressing and relaxing in addition to being in a natural space. Being a dove, Eira could mean either, or both.) (Additional Welsh note: I'm a rusty second language speaker, so my grammar definitely isn't perfect, please be kind about mistakes but I do welcome them being pointed out.)

Morgana

Morgana simply wouldn't care. In the grand scheme of things, they will all die eventually anyway, so why bother worrying if you hasten their deaths a little?

Myrddin

Myrddin wouldn't even think about it for a second longer than choosing the smallest amount of casualties. It's simple, ruthless logic, less death is better, end of story. The fact that he personally has the power to prevent the issue entirely wouldn't have ever crossed his mind.

[eight-freakin-gids]

After taking a break, I'm getting back into MTG Arena. I mostly played Alchemy before, but now I'm looking to try Standard. Moreover, I'm feeling a bit experimental, and I want to play something other than the most popular decks. So, I built Mono-White Midrange.

Ultimately, this deck is filled with the cards I'm most excited to play, and I could stop my justification there. Because I don't really know the first thing about midrange decks or this Standard metagame. That being said, I will try and document my thought process behind this deck, if only for my own benefit.

While I acknowledge Alchemy and Standard are pretty different formats (and I've missed a few expansions since I've last played), I will try to share my logic about cards that have performed well in the past and why I expect them to perform well again.

To set some groundwork, I think Flying is really, really good in this particular metagame. Several decks run notable flying creatures. Phoenix Chick; Goddric, Cloaked Reveler; Harbin, Vanguard Aviator. Atraxa, Grand Unifier; Ledger Shredder; Faerie Mastermind; and Raffine, Scheming Seer are all centerpieces or key players in big name decks. Whatever your deck is doing, you can't ignore these creatures.

For my own Flying creatures, let's start with Phyrexian Vindicator. I love this card, and could probably gush about it for a whole post. But let me focus on the big stuff. Bottom line, it beats any flying creature. It beats any creature, really. This can attack and block freely in any board state, and that's a very valuable trait. However, this card is held back by the abundance of good removal in this Standard card pool. Additionally, while this can beat any of the Flying creatures mentioned above, those cards all come down 2-3 turns before Vindicator does. So while I think this is a valuable card to use, earlier options are needed.

This brings me to Steel Seraph. This card enables you to defend against enemy fliers, admittedly to mixed results. But what it really excels at is Flying offense. The ability to give your other creatures flying is very powerful. The only thing better than an Adeline, Resplendent Cathar is an Adeline with evasion. On top of all that, Steel Seraph is also immune to Go For the Throat and Cut Down, some of the most popular removal spells available to Black right now.

Archangel Elspeth accomplishes some similar things to Steel Serpah. It can give creatures flying, with the added bonus of being very nice on the defensive.

Alright, alright. You see I've got these 4-5 mana planeswalkers and big fliers, but they do me no good if I'm dead before I can use them.

For the early game, Thalia and Anointed Peacekeeper slow down my opponent's gameplan, Cathar Commando and Fateful Absence lets me interact with the board, and Lunarch Veteran gives me a buffer against aggro decks. Shoutout to Cathar Commando for being a good tool against counterspells, as Make Disappear is popular in any decks with Blue.

Throw in a few Eiganjos for extra removal and a few Skrelvs to protect my creatures or break through board stalls, and that's my deck. I've written this all before I've played the deck. This is all theory that needs to be put into practice, but I look forward to trying it out. 

I have a sideboard, since I want to play best of 3 rather than best of one. That being said, the sideboard is definitely what needs the most work. I don't see a lot of point in adding it here since it's likely going to change pretty drastically.

[skamiikaze]

200 Hour Polish Update

*Caveat: I had been studying Polish since around 2020 using mostly traditional methods. If you look, I’ve been in this server for a while so I, in my infinite stupidity, was lazy and didn’t start doing a lot of immersion until this year (despite being pretty obsessed with learning Polish… ik weird ass logic). Which so far, has been 200 hours. Realistically, I don’t know how many hours my total progress indicates but ehh. Before this year my study has mostly just been reading about grammar and reading from textbooks.

What has my immersion consisted of?

watching videos on YouTube (without subs)

listening to podcasts

How much a day / how do I track?

      200 minutes a day (3.3 hrs). At the start I did 60 minutes (1 hr), and then I moved up to 100 minutes (1.6 hrs)

      I track everything with a pen and small notebook. I think it’s more satisfying (and easier for me) to track this way. It boosted my motivation to see pages fill up. I much prefer physical tracking to digital. Personal preference, this is neither good nor efficient so don’t do this lol.

What I’m glad I did / progress I made.

      I started off this year already with a decent level. I could understand basic conversations but sometimes I would have a hard time catching words I knew just because I hardly did any listening. 200 hrs later, I have no trouble at all with that. I can follow more complex lines of thought and discussions. I will say though, I still struggle with stories. I think if I focus on that type of media that will sort itself out. My main focus was just to get good at the subjects I enjoy. I don’t like TV / Movies / fiction at all, so I mostly avoided it. I started off the year with watching My Life as a Teenage Robot, Hilda, and a little Kid Cosmic (never finished it) but I didn’t really want to continue that since I was getting bored. Once I switched to videos and podcasts about subjects I enjoy (history, religion, politics) I found it much easier to go on for long periods of time.

      I now find it much easier to write / think in Polish. My writing is not that great still, but I feel like I’ve made progress. I plan to focus on output more in the future, but I think that I will focus on improving my writing after I start reading more. I need to see good examples of the written word before making serious attempts to replicate it.

      I did no look ups (with some exceptions but for the most part it was exceedingly rare, and when I did it was monolingual). I’m glad I made that choice. Before one of my main barriers to immersion was all of the Anki fiddling and sentence mining / look ups. I am someone who has a hard time getting in the habit of doing things, and a lot of that was a huge barrier to entry for me. I said screw it, and just sat down and watched stuff. Nothing more, nothing less. I think this is one of the best choices I’ve ever made. Besides the executive function matter, I think overall this was more beneficial than If I had managed to do Anki and look ups. I know myself, I would’ve poured over the nuances of a certain word out of context in a dictionary entry. Which in the grand scheme of things, is a massive waste of time. That time is much better spent engaging with content. The word’s I’m „ready to learn” will come to me so to speak. I strongly recommend this strategy. It’s a little uncomfortable at first, but in the long run it’s worth it.

What do I regret?

      Not starting sooner (duh). Seriously though, the main lesson I Learned was to not be so slow to change. I am a very change resistant person, I really struggle to change my routine / try something different. This really has shown me that just getting started is very very worth it. Even if the first few days suck.

      Trying to read books too early. I don’t know why I tried to do this. I don’t particularly enjoy reading in English, so I’m not sure why I tried to force myself to read in Polish, which is obviously harder. My reading era in Polish shall come someday, but I’m not going to try it until I can get into it in English first. If It’s a chore to do I won’t bother with it right now. One of my goals is to read Sienkiewicz but that’s a far off goal. I will let you all know when I get there.

Previous and current level (self assessed, take with a grain of salt)

2C/3 in refold terms (current)

Level of Understanding (before) A2-B1

Level of Output (before) terrible, I shudder at the thought

Level of Understanding (current) B2

Level of Output (current) B1, needs work of course…

Statistics

Start: Sat. Jan 7th

End: Tue. Apr 11th

Jan: 2061 min / 34.4 hrs Feb: 2149 min / 35.9 hrs Mar: 5220 min / 87 hrs Apr: 2459 min / 41 hrs

What now?

      I am going to take a temporary break from Polish to focus on Czech. I will be moving to Prague in the fall so I want to get a bit of a head start (even though I will be learning Czech there anyway as part of my degree program but I plan to use English as little as possible when I get there.) I want to do about 100 hours in Czech and then return to Polish (rather, incorporate both into my routine). Partly because I want to get through the beginner stages of Czech as quickly as possible (with minimal Polish interference) and partly because I want to see how my Polish will fair after a break. Will it improve? Get worse? Stay the same? Remains to be seen. I will provide an update after I do said 100 hours in Czech. The nature of that update again, remains to be seen.

A few words of likely generic advice...

      Don’t be hard on yourself. I know this is almost a cliché at this point, but being overly critical of myself stunted my progress. I was afraid to challenge myself out of fear that I was not ready / I wasn’t good enough.

      Don’t try to optimize everything. It’s impossible. You wont be able to keep perfect records of everything, you wont be able to track every second, you won’t be able to exactly know where you’re at level wise. It doesn’t matter where you are right now, just keep moving forward. Even if you aren’t that far now, if you keep moving you’ll be a lot further along than if you hadn’t moved at all.

Dziękuję serdecznie za uwagę! Czołem ;-)