#mostly screaming my thoughts into the void honestly

[shikishake]

so I’m largely writing this because I feel like I have to, for closure, y’know? I’ve been posting bits about most of the really impactful episodes of the second season of this show so it wouldn’t feel right not talking about the ending at all.

I’ve seen criticism floating around that the ending was rushed. I agree with that criticism, but I also don’t find myself really caring. could the ending have been better paced? sure. is the narrative conclusion to EVERYTHING perfect? nope. but I’m not left feeling that weird hollow feeling you get when you really enjoy a show and then it ends in a shitshow, largely because the parts that I wanted to happen mostly happened. the series as a whole doesn’t feel lesser for the flaws of the ending, and the things the ending DOES do right make up for it, in my opinion.

getting the obvious out of the way: they didn’t pussy out. the ending isn’t vaguely tragic and open-ended, and they didn’t pull a “and they were best friends forever :)” with sulemio. they’re married. they didn’t KISS or anything, but that’s not really necessary, even if a small part of me kinda wanted to see it anyway. they’re happy and safe and together. mission accomplished.

moving on, nika faced consequences. I was REALLY happy to see that. she was a small part of it, in the grand scheme of things, but she DID play a role in getting a lot of innocent people killed. it’s good that there were consequences for that. shaddiq faced consequences. again, awesome. shaddiq was a lot more directly responsible for a lot more death and misery, and I’m pretty sure the implication is that shaddiq will be spending the rest of his life in jail. I’m not actually a super big fan of life sentences, as I feel like prison should be about rehabilitation rather than punishment, but it would’ve felt a lot more hollow if shaddiq got away with a slap on the wrist. he did bad things. he should take responsibility for that. it’s good that he, and the show as a whole, recognizes that, even if “spend the rest of your life in prison” isn’t actually the conclusion I would have reached. I’m not sure what conclusion I WOULD have liked, but the crux of the issue is that there ARE consequences.

all of that makes the fact that prospera faces NO consequences... weird. I get it, crippled old lady with no direct evidence linking her to her crimes, but it feels EXCEEDINGLY frustrating to know that, after what she did at quinharbor especially, prospera’s ending is... getting to sit with her family in a nice field. it feels like she should have taken responsibility to SOME extent, if not legally than in some other way. that being said, I can forgive the show for this. not really because I agree with it, but because I think that suletta deserves a happy ending without strings attached, and even though I don’t think prospera is a very good mother or a very good person, suletta clearly loves her. if prospera being in her life is part of her happy ending, I think I can forgive it.

I have no idea if delling faced consequences. I like to think he did? but also I like to think miorine had a chance to... not reconnect, because I think that bridge has been burned even if their relationship has improved slightly over the course of the show, but find closure with her father. I also like to think he actually apologized and owned up to the FUCKTON of abuse he put miorine through but I’m well aware that I’m chasing a fantasy there.

um. permet ghosts. they don’t quite make sense in-universe, honestly, but I don’t really care. they were a very nice way to tie-up the narrative themes and character arcs of the people they affected, and I’ve always been the kind of person that can value thematic and symbolic parts of a narrative above the strictly logical side. I don’t really need to know how and why permet ghosts exist beyond what was explained in like, a single line, because it felt satisfying and thematically appropriate to have them. they did what they needed to do, and I can suspend my disbelief enough to quiet the part of me that questions the “how”.

I KNEW there was some shit up with elan prime. then again, I also thought it was a lot more “oh shit I just realized how in over my head I am, that’s a lot of people that are gonna be murdered and it’s overpowering my learned habit of reducing human life to numbers on a sheet of paper, this might be a bad idea”, and not as much “ya’ll are boring and I’m tired of you, see you in hell, peace out”. but I’m not sure how in-character the former would’ve been, so *shrug*.

eri in a keychain is JUST funny enough for me to forget that she killed people. well actually that’s a lie, it’s just that there’s very little ways that eri’s story could have wrapped up, really. either she dies in a heroic sacrifice to redeem her sins, which I never really like for a multitude of reasons and also feels really cruel to a child that has spent most of her life trapped in a giant robot after her family, her life and her future were robbed from her by corporate assholes, or she lives in some kind of weirdo in-between life, like she has been doing as aerial for like 17 years (or more?) but hopefully a little less awful. I like the latter better. I don’t think in-universe lore can justify giving her a new body, which I would’ve REALLY liked purely because even if she’s done some bad shit I think eri deserves to live as herself, with full freedom. but this is okay too.

suletta getting to fulfill her dream of opening up a school is *chef’s kiss*. miorine getting to be a girlboss for a cause that she believes in is also *chef’s kiss*. them being a happy couple is *chef’s kiss* squared.

all in all, I’d say the ending was a 7/10. I’m satisfied, even if it’s not perfect. that being said, the entire show as a whole remains at a 9/10 for me. is good. lesbians in space becomes political drama becomes high-stakes war tragedy becomes family drama becomes lesbians in space again. time well spent.

[flashdrivegarbage]

I just saw a post of someone talking about how like proud their younger self would be of them and like i didn’t want to add this to their post because uhhh this is very much opposite vibes and honestly mught be really depressing. I just kinda need to write iit out and ttell SOMEONE and i recently realized that i dont actually have any friends like at all and all the people i thought were my friends… just arent. Thats a whole pther story and not the point of this post, I just mean i literally dont have anyone else i can talk about this to and i just want to get this out of my head so i can stop thinking about it.

But like… i think if i had the chance to talk to my younger self… i think they’d be disappointed in me. I’ve grown up in a like super mega religious household and now im not religious at all and im nonbinary and im asexual and im on the aromantic spectrum and im bi. Like. Everything that i didnt want to be when i was a kid. Ill never be able to have the epic love story i wanted as a kid, ill never be able go find the romanticized ‘one for me’, which is still something im struggling to come to terms with because of how much wanting that was a part of me for so long before i realized i was on the aro spectrum. Im never going to be able to have kids in a way that my parents will approve of because the idea of having sex disgusts me. I might end up deciding that my life partner is a woman or another nonbinary person, and even then it still wont be a romantic fall-in-love hallmark style life partner. Ive given up on god and all that shit. And even beyond all of that, ive given up on my dreams in a big way. I want to be a pharmacist now, but for my entire life i always wanted to be an author and one day i just kinda realized i wasnt going to ever be one. I write fanfic now, which i really love and gives me a ton of fulfillment, but im never going to be a published author, i dont think. I have no desire to create my own characters or worlds. But i know that my you ger self would be devastated by this. And, like i said earlier, i have literally no friends. I have people who im kinda friendly with at school. I have people i thought i was friends with. But i honestly dont have any friends. I just… i cant help but feel like if i ever talked to my younger self they would hate that they turned into me. They’d be disappointed that im their future. I dont really know what that says about me.

[lieutenantfloyd]

My Red Thread - Gambit x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Summary: After being sent to the Void alongside your chaotic companions Deadpool and Logan, the very last thing on your mind is the rarity of a soulmate bond. That is, until yours snaps into place. (Soulmate! AU)

Warnings: Fluff, mutant! Reader (undefined powers), a bit of romantic tension, attempts at humor, Wade Wilson ruining The Moment™️

Authors Note: For some reason editing this took way longer than actually writing it did. I’m still getting a feel for the characters, so I apologize if anything is kinda ooc! :)

Read on AO3

Laying with your back against a mostly broken couch, you have a view of the full room, including a set of stairs that allow streams of sunlight to cascade in. Your eyes shift lazily between Logan—who's taking the opportunity to drink himself into oblivion— and Deadpool—who's closing out his second straight hour of snooping through drawers and cabinets.

When the three of you awoke in this new location hours ago, you almost instantly flew into a fit of arguing. First about how and why you were here, then about who would be the first to go up the stairs. After a much heated debate, the consensus became that an unknown person—agreed to be either the ghost of Johnny coming back to avenge himself or the vengeful, forgotten sister from earlier—brought you here for reasons that probably didn't end with any of you walking out of here alive.

Whoever it was most likely got the drop on you first, seeing as how you decided to try your luck at hitchhiking through the void instead of sitting around and watching your two companions tear each other, along with your only ride, to shreds. As for the situation with the stairs, a rare moment of agreement was shared when you decided to stand and fight whatever possible threat was lurking. Once that was decided you all assumed the positions you currently found yourselves in.

With each tick of the dusty clock on the wall, you were growing more and more impatient, You'd been fighting for your life, quite literally, from the moment Wade got you sent to the void. Now your adrenaline had all but crashed, leaving your body to scream in agony over being brought to the brink of death more times over the last twenty four hours than you’d ever care to count. It was at the point now that you honestly began to wish that whoever had brought you here would muster up the cajones and come finish you off for good.

As if on cue, you and Logan sat upright as you sensed movement outside. You rolled off the couch and joined Wade in the middle of the room, taking up fighting stances while Logan simply sat back in his chair and continued nursing the bottle of whiskey he found without a care in the world.

Prepping for yet another fight, you were left feeling as dumbfounded as Deadpool looked when Elektra descended into the room. Your hands stayed raised but your mind began to run with possibilities. Wade began a refreshed round of incessant rambling, not missing a beat as Blade followed Elektra into the room only seconds later.

Your eyes shoot over to Logan in an effort to ensure that someone a bit less prone to hallucinations than you and Deadpool were seeing this too. His eyes flash confirmingly to yours. You swallow hard, having a brief internal battle with the childhood version of you who apparently thinks that now is the best time to start fangirling.

Tuning out Wade's awkward banter, you try and piece together the situation unfolding in front of you together. You were well aware of how people got sent to the void, but you realized then that you never thought any deeper about who exactly you could run into during your stay.

With fatigue setting deeper into your bones, you lean your hip onto the dusty wood table beside you. You fall halfway out of your defensive stance and let Wade command the room as usual, tuning back into the conversation just in time to hear him make an oddly pointed quip about some man named Ben Affleck.

Picking up on more movement from above, your attention shifts across the room. Your eyes lock on the stairs as if glued there. You to watch on silently as a shimmery purple card floats into the room and a man follows closely behind. You barely have enough time to register the flashes of purple dancing away from his hands before a force you have never felt before—and have absolutely no interest in feeling again—slams so solidly into your chest that it sends you flying over the table you were leaning against.

"Fuck!" "Merde!"

You yell out in unison. Instinct has you pulling yourself up off the floor as soon as you hit it, albeit slowly, as you try to call the air back into your lungs. Using the table for support, you manage to raise up on shaking feet. The once busy room has now fallen deadly silent. Quiet in a way you hadn't experienced since joining up with Deadpool several months ago. You suck in a few intentional breaths before letting your head rise up from its hanging position.

"What the hell was tha-" you start, only to fall silent as you take notice of everyone's eyes flashing between you and a man who looks just as confused and winded as you do.

Time seems to slow as your eyes lock with his. A smaller blow hits you somewhere deep beneath your ribs, though this time you only stumble.

"Ho-ly shit!" Wade gasps, bringing his gloved hands up to his face and flicking his head back and forth dramatically between the both of you, no doubt starting to pick up on what's happening.

A second thrumming blooms in your chest then. It's equal parts similar and different from your own. Your mind nearly starts to panic, but it's silenced by something buried in your chemical makeup coming alive.

Wade drops his hands from his face, only to end up pointing at you like an old Spiderman meme.

"You two are-"

"Soulmates," you breathe out.

Absentmindedly, your hand rises to your chest. The feel of your soulmates' heart beating in time with yours is oddly comforting, in a way not unlike finally coming home after a long, difficult mission.

Soulmates were a rare but well documented phenomenon back in your reality. Most people would go their entire lives without meeting someone who was lucky enough to bond, let alone experience it themselves. You silently cursed all of those articles and accounts you read as a hopeful tween for failing to mention just how sudden and violently the bond snapped into place.

"Say something! Suck each other's faces off! Maybe even-"

"That's enough," Logan hisses, slapping a large hand down onto Deadpool's shoulder.

You laugh awkwardly at the absurdity of this entire situation. Unsure of what to say or how to go about any of this. Bonded or not, you and the upsettingly handsome man in front of you were still strangers.

"I've been lookin' for you a long time, mon amour." He drawls. And fuck if his sultry cajun drawl isn't something you'd be happy to hear for the rest of your lifetime.

'Well, It's good to finally meet you, um..." you stammer out, only to remember that you hadn't even learned his name yet.

"Remy!" Elektra whispers to you excitedly.

You repeat his name under your breath, somehow feeling like you miss it as the syllables roll off of your tongue.

"It's lovely to finally meet you, Remy," you try again.

Logan takes the opportunity to introduce you like Elektra did for Remy. He sends you a soft smile as he learns your name, though it shines so bright and warm that you can't decide if you want to fall back against the table or leap into his arms.

You step towards him, happy to feel both of your heartbeats pumping in your chest as you both move to close the distance between you. When you're only a mere inches away from each other, his hand rises into view, silently asking permission to caress your cheek. You wait with bated breath to feel his touch, only for it to fall short when a certain red and black clad anti-hero steps between you—acting as if your entire world wasn't just flipped on its axis.

"Sorry to interrupt this precious little love session you two have going on, but I feel that I must remind you of the very pressing matters still at hand," Wade says with a look that is anything but sorry.

You look to Remy, whose face says only that he's ready to explode Deadpool with his mind and reach around Wade to place a gentle hand on his shoulder. You smile up at Remy, and watch as an unmistakable look of complete adoration flashes across his eyes.

You use your powers to send the mercenary flying backward through the air, leaving him screaming as you finally close the gap between you and Remy.

He brings you into his arms without hesitation. A stray tear slips from your eye as you realize just how right his touch feels against your skin. His nimble fingers wipe away the tear that fell onto your cheek, already coming into tune with the thousands of different emotions flowing through you.

"Don't cry chéri, Gambit's gotcha."

His words bring a fresh new crop of tears to your eyes. You savor the contact for several long moments before reluctantly pulling away. You waste no time in reaching over to interlock your hands, pulling him back a few steps.

A chorus of stifled laughter sounds throughout the room as you spot Wade stumbling back onto his feet. You squeeze Remy's hand when you hear him mutter "couyon," disapprovingly, something that earns another round of poorly dampened laughter from the group.

"Wade,” You call over to him, "Are you done being an asshole for the time being?"

"Never!”

"Can you idiots focus for five seconds?" Logan asks from the corner while taking a swig of whiskey. The rebuttal you’d prepared for Wade does in your throat, but you still give him a disapproving eye roll. Deadpool, unable to have someone speak up before him, pushes his way past Logan.

"Yeah, like I know the writer needs to hit their word count and all, but we've still got a baldheaded bitch to kill."

Getting out of the void has always been your top priority, but with your newfound bond, it felt all the more pressing.

Stepping aside to let Wade through, he begins to command the room as always. Ideas intertwine with his usual self deprecating jokes. You and Remy stand next to each other on the sidelines, as tensions begin to lower.

As the night drug on, the conversation began to buzz with urgent anticipation. Everyone takes a shot at pitching an idea or strategy that plays to some of their strengths. Logan had retreated outside while Blade, Electra, and Wade stood and paced around the room, focused on the task at hand.

With guards lowered and tensions gone, you and Remy retreated to a nearby couch. You both gave out the occasional opinion or bit of intel, but your minds never strayed far from each other.

The conversation slows, and you felt Gambit's hand brush against yours. You reach out and intertwine your fingers with his before he can back away. His fingers tighten against yours gently before letting up. You mirror his squeeze instantly, a thousand words passing in the silence hanging between you. You lift your eyes and meet his gaze, giving him a soft, barely perceptible nod. You can the low kinetic current coursing through his touch. It serves as yet another reminder of how strong your bond already feels.

Your head drops onto his shoulder, earning a low hum. Just above a whisper, and with a smile playing on your lips, you both promise that no matter what lies ahead, you are ready to face it—simply because you now have each other.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Dearest Fox Void, I am glad you have returned.

I need to tell you about my transfem!Ed Elric idea.

Mostly, it's that Ed has never thought about her gender, but as soon as anyone brings up she may be a girl her response is to think about it for a bit, then go "Oh! No wait that makes sense." And proceed to go all in about it.

Specifically, I'm thinking about Ed being on the run with Greed and the others and needing a disguise. What better disguise when the country is on the lookout for a short loud blond boy alchemist than a fairly normal height blond girl? Ed transmutes his coat into a dress, keeps his hair down, adds a bit more heel to his boots and speaks quietly or not at all and Boom! that's just a shy girl.

After a little bit of doing this, with Ed seemingly not having any issues with the act, Greed tries to poke at Ed a little bit.

Greed: So, you seem to be playing a girl so well, what if you actually are one? (Expecting Ed to blow up about being a man and not into girly things, etc.)

Ed: [shrugs] It's not like it's a big deal, cross-dressing is fun, everyone enjoys it a little bit.

The Chimeras: ... no, no they don't.

Ed: ... What?

Darius: Honestly, kid, i'm not sure how you do it all the time. I think if I tried it I would feel uncomfortable even if I *could* pull it off.

Heinkel: Yeah, and you seem to... enjoy being seen as a girl more than as a boy.

Ed: ...

Greed is now expecting panic and loud, fervent denials, but Ed remains quiet. It's, like, half an hour before he comes back and is like, "no, yeah, turns out I'm actually a girl. Huh."

Greed: What??? Just like that??? No angst or anything???

Ed: [shrugs] it's not like it's anything bad. I just never thought about it.

Heinkel: [deciding that he's gonna roll with it to screw with Greed] so, are you gonna change your name? Edward is pretty masculine.

Ed: [oblivious to Heinkel's game and Greedlings internal screaming] Well, I want to keep being Ed, but I never really liked Edward much anyway. Maybe Eden?

Darius: [picked up on Heinkel's wavelength] sounds good to me.

So, yeah, now Ed is going by Eden and she/her pronouns. Every time Ed meets up with someone who really knows her (Al. Winry, Pinako, Izumi and Sig) and tells them, the general reaction is "no, yeah, that tracks" and Greedling is so *so* frustrated at the nonchalance. (Hohenheim is surprised, but his general demeanor makes him incapable of expressing it to the degree Greed wants.)

After the final battle, Ling leaves Ed with a cute outfit (think that one emo anime-girl pic that was everywhere. Or any hot-topic teenage girl. The red plaid miniskirt with the chains is required) and Ed loves it, and hates that she loves it, and is mildly weirded out by the fact that it is tailored to her. But, the important thing is that she wears it to Team Mustangs room to quit the military, which is how she comes out to all of them.

See I read this and all I can think is "where's the fic, anon?" because yes please and thank you????

[cc-writes-stuff]

writeblr intro

hello writing community! i'm cc, an aspiring writer who is attempting to get back into writing original fiction again after around ~4 or so years of fanfic writing.

i've interacted with the community before and this is not my first writeblr intro, but i really started to stop both doing original writing and interacting with other writers on tumblr after covid hit, but i'm feeling a burst of inspiration, so i figured why not take a second shot at this. hopefully talking about my wips online will give me the motivation to keep working on them

about me

18+ and no i will not specify my age, but little to no sexual stuff (i do like angst though)

she/her

biromantic but currently feeling like a useless lesbian

also ace

virgo

psych major, writing minor

took four years of japanese

mostly fantasy and urban fantasy writing, dabbling in regional gothic, and whump writing

favorite book series is six of crows by leigh bardugo - it's actually what inspired me to become a writer

queer & neurodivergent friendly space

attempting to work on not being as socially anxious

u.s. american. unfortunately. at least i can vote now

also a big dnd, genshin impact, atla, pokemon and fma fan

have a cat and a dog

my wips

current

away from hallowed ground (working title)

genre: dark fantasy

premise: false prophet of a cult gets betrayed and ends up on the most buckwild road trip to find and either become a god or kill a god

status: 1st draft, writing and planning

planning/thinking

the town at the edge of the void

genre: debating whether i want to go more serious fantasy or more silly cozy slice of life

premise: a young witch lives in a town near the edge of the void. magical bullshit happens here. also, there's a nameless stranger in town who is very mysterious but she's also very pretty

status: thinking & plotting

in the backburner

a traitor's return

genre: urban fantasy

if you've been here long enough or are an old follower of mine, you may have heard of this one with some of my first two ocs ever created, cary and jordie

status: honestly currently considering a major overhaul now that i've gotten more experience in writing. but that's also too much thinking

unnamed costal gothic wip

no plot, just vibes involving a desolate light house, possibly ghosts and either magic, murder or both. also lesbians

but it's had me in a chokehold for at least a year

status: screaming crying throwing up (refuses to be plotted)

The Blorbo Repository

Wanna know more about my ocs? Find stuff here!

A result of me having too many thoughts and not enough time

links

ao3: cc_writes_stuff (fanfiction account)

pintrest: cc_writes_stuff

i'm a little socially anxious but it's something i've been working on in real life, and i hope it translates to tumblr, too, so if you're interested in connecting with a fellow writer, it'd be greatly appreciated, and i'll attempt to do the same. best, cc!

[mister-mykal]

9-1-1 8x06 Thoughts on the Buck, Eddie, and Tommy of it all

Okay I have like almost no followers, which makes sense because I usually only normally lurk here. I'm also sure none of my followers are into 9-1-1 here, but I just need to scream into the void on the off chance someone sees this. None of my friends watch this show so I really just hope even just one person reads this and makes me feel a little less foolish because a lot of the discourse here is so "us vs them" and black-and-white. This is gonna be obnoxiously long, so I don't expect anyone to read all this, if any of it, but I'll put a TL;DR at the end. I will not be bashing Tommy or Eddie in this post! Also I'm typing while it's late for me and my ADHD makes me a horrible proofreader, so sorry for typos and the such.

I hate fandom drama, I cannot care less about whatever beef bucktommy stans and buddie stans have I've been trying to mostly ignore it. I'm just upset if this ends up being sloppy writing on the 9-1-1 team's part. I'm gonna try to be nuanced about how I felt about 8x06 because I feel like there is a way to do this and not completely screw the writing for either Tommy or Eddie.

Tommy does not have to be endgame, that is fine. I think Eddie is definitely more popular with the fans and plenty of people love a good slow burn. Their chemistry is also undeniable. But plenty of people enjoy Tommy too, despite his cavalcade of haters. And to have thrown away what seemed like a character arc in the making for him seems like a waste if this is the last we see of him? I hear he's going to be in at least one more episode, so I hope they do that justice. I don't need them back together, I just need this to make better sense.

I know people really hate Lou and Tommy, but I'm pretty neutral about him. (Idk how true the very little things I've see about Lou is because I keep hearing he's homophobic, misogynistic, racist, etc. but I have not be able to find any receipts. If it is true, that sucks and I get why they would try to write someone like that out of the show. However, just I'm gonna focus on it from purely a story perspective right now.) I enjoy seeing Buck happy after all the shit he's gone through in his past relationships. I was cautiously optimistic from the interviews that said he was finally "getting of the hamster wheel". But yet again, Buck loves with his whole heart and has his hopes dashed. It would have been one thing if Buck was the one who ended things, but really? This again? He doesn't need his heart broken AGAIN. I don't care who Buck ends up with, I just want him to be happy and secure with whatever partner he chooses.

Why bring back a previously established character who has some growing to do and then throw them away again? Boooo, if they wanted Buck and Eddie's queer awakening arcs to happen separately, and weren't interested in expanding Tommy's character, they should have just set up Buck with random throwaway guy. Otherwise it's just drama for the sake of drama instead of something that's in greater service to the narrative or character writing. Tommy becoming Eddie's friend first especially feels too intentional. Tommy already having established relationships with Hen, Chim, and Bobby feels too intentional.

Tommy's insecure feelings over Buck eventually choosing someone else, likely Eddie, over him is incredibly real and make sense. He's never felt like he's had a place to belong in general. He's jealous of the 118, he's jealous and threatened by Eddie's relationship with Buck. Honestly, I also wouldn't be surprised if Eddie was the one who caught his eye at first because it's not that hard to clock Eddie if we're being honest. It's pretty clear Tommy was baffled that Buck was fighting to get his attention over Eddie's. Why set up this arc and end it before it's even started? If there's a ever a starting point for Tommy to grow, it's right here and now. Otherwise it makes no sense.

At the same time, Eddie's character writing makes ZERO sense if he isn't a deeply closeted gay man (or at least asexual, but that's unlikely, especially with the way they've been positioning Buck and Eddie for the longest, and especially the way they position Eddie and the Hot That whole interaction with the hot priest and the mustache, beard, fruit juice, plenty of metaphor we all picked up on that. Never has an actual straight character said "no offense, I'm straight" like that within the context of the surrounding narrative. Like come on? Denying yourself FRUIT JUICE? Denying yourself joy?? which gay used to be a synonym for? Girl, please. And even with Josh's speech a bit? I think it's obvious enough that it could also be extended to Eddie, even though he's closer to Buck's age. Growing up Catholic is pretty rough for queer people.

On top of the fact that there are plenty of other hints while he did/does have love for Shannon, it was almost always in the context of that she is the mother of his child. He literally had a panic attack over someone mistaking Ana for his wife, and over their relationship starting to get serious. Ana is a lovely lady that most men that are attracted to women would be happy to have... so what's the issue, really? And then he only thinks about staying with her simply because she could be the new mother to his child. Be so for real.

And Eddie honestly has been pretty awful to the women he has dated, and you can either choose to read that as him being a chauvinistic, exploitative pig (doesn't really align with the rest of his character), or someone deeply in the closet who doesn't really want to be with a woman. (yeah, that's sounds more accurate.)

We can reconcile all of this though. Buck more than likely has romantic feelings for Eddie, I think it'd be silly to think otherwise, but even though Buck has figured out who he is, it doesn't mean Eddie has yet. He's made progress, but he has at least a little ways to go left. As far as Buck knows, Eddie is straight in this moment. He's never hesitated to write him off as his "best friend", while Eddie... well, he'll realize he's in love with Buck soon enough.

Still, I feel like it's a bit disingenuous to say that Buck doesn't care about Tommy at all, he is clearly hurt by the break up. At the very least, even if they don't get back together at all, they need to talk this out like adults and have Tommy explain himself better, because it's obvious Tommy has walls from from past experiences. Doesn't make it okay that he did Buck like that, but no one on this show has been perfect so... 🙄 At the very least we should get that one episode from that "See you around, Buck" (Ouch, Tommy. Though I feel like that was more so Tommy distancing himself to Buck to protect himself more than to hurt Buck.) Though just as easily, we might only ever see him here and there again on calls that require air support so who knows. 🤷🏾

There were some pretty obvious parallels set up between Abby and Tommy this episode. Abby and Tommy were both firsts for Buck, they're both around the same, older age. Both of them are experienced and life and deeply lonely, so how could they possibly turn away someone who has as much love to give as Buck does? Both of them are, seemingly, just stepping stones on Buck's way to self discovery. Buck even says it himself, he calls their relationships "transformative", but obviously because the experiences Tommy has had as an older queer man, he's probably not a stranger to beings someone's flyover until they get to their actual destination. I understand why he would want to protect himself like that.

Even if that's the case, I don't think Buck would want to leave things like this. I know in one of the interviews Oliver says Buck is be heavily considering if he wants to fight for this or not, but at the very least I hope they've shown his growth and showcase his emotional intelligence by calling out Tommy that it's not fair to him to sorta decide how he feels, even if it is Buck's first relationship with a man.

It's far from Buck's first relationship and idk, it feels a little icky to tell the bi person to go fool around a be a slut when he's said that he's tired of sleeping around and wants to settle down. That can just be a character flaw with Tommy (I've met plenty of biphobic monosexual queer people), but at the very least can't Buck call him out on it? Let them have a more mature, complete conversation and let Tommy say the quiet part aloud. At the very least, I get Tommy's intention, he doesn't want Buck to have any regrets, but I don't think he knows just how much he's hurt him and how many times he's been through the situation.

Something really upsetting, even though Tommy has had his problems and hasn't been the greatest person, really sad about any closeted queer person who's been nasty, but much of it came from circumstance, not getting a chance to grow after they literally set that up with the script. Well, you do you I guess. At the very least if Tommy is nothing more than a plot device, couldn't you have let Buck come to conclusion they should break up and give him even an ounce of power in his romantic pursuits for once? Instead of the one loving too hard and too fast and hurting from it? The interview where (I don't remember who exactly) said we wont be seeing much more of Tommy, if at all really annoys me because if this is it? Ugh. That break up didn't feel conclusive at at all.

TL;DR: Wasting a previously established character as a plot device after setting up what seemed like some sort of character arc for him even if he wasn't Buck's endgame seems like really sloppy writing if you decide to discard him back into the obscurity for the rest of the series. It feels like a cheap way to add extra drama and the implications and situations you could create from at least dragging this out a little bit more could create a more satisfying resolution to this at the very least. Why retread old ground again when you said that you wouldn't and waste all the potential you were setting this up with this scenario? It still seems unresolved, so hopefully this tie this up, regardless of who Buck ends with in the end (because the focus really should be on Buck finally getting the love and care that he deserves in a romantic relationship, or at least getting to end one amicably.)

Anyway tear me apart, ignore me, whatever. IDC anymore.

[lizaluvsthis]

What If (BR AU): SMG4 lost all of his vision during the arc?

Title: Helping Onwards, Putting Entries Living Each Soul's Sympathy

HOPELESS

Tags: Fluff/Angst/Comfort

Previous Chapter...

Summary: Four with his permanent loss of vision, it's been too difficult for him to manage. But with a help of his crew and someone in particular helped him reach up and discover something new. PART 2/2 COMPLETE

"I'm sorry..." 

Tears streamed down from his face, hiding the soft and quick breaths. This strong and emotional feeling... it was... it wasn't just nothing...

This was something...

A 'thing' he couldn't quite define it.  

But that doesn't matter either way, what matters right now is HIS condition.

"Three?" SMG4 lifted his head, in the feet of shivering from a warm heart inside. His tender for the man gave back a sad look that he could not describe.

It must be so sad... losing visions and not even knowing what Three is giving that face right now...

With no such response, Four's arms leaned forward. Letting go of Three's hand, leisurely reaching for his face. He could feel a light touch of water from his gloves with his right hand caressing Three's cheek.

"You're- are you- are you- crying?" "N-no I'm not you idiot! I wasn't crying! Just- just- something got in my eye..." 

Liar...

SMG4 thought, three wouldn't make up any excuses for that. He was Mostly bad at lying and would call him the "not-so-good-liar" whenever he lied back right in front of his face.

This was different, but he knows how Three acts this way. Even though his eyes are covered with an empty black void of nothingness, he knows SMG3 very well. 

Sure, being linked with the other guardian's emotions was something. But it got him feeling slightly confused about how Three had a blasting fill with mixed emotions when he was with Four.

He doesn't quite get the number on this, why would Three cry? Why would he tho? Honestly, I'm thinking of which. He'd barely even see the man cry at other moments of his life with him.

Not just because of something stupid like- games, or- magazines of Justin Bieber thrown out¿ his other memes lik-

Wait a minute.

"OH- SH-T!" SMG4 Screamed, with his voice bouncing back from the sound of echoes in the room were heard.

"I'M SO SORRY FOR FORGETTING ABOUT TERRANCE- I know how much it hurts losing someone you meant to, a lot."

SMG3 gasped, getting himself pulled out from the chair and held tight from Four's arms hugging him in an uncomfortable position.

Into the front where SMG4 hugged him, Three placed both hands to the sides. Keeping his position stable. "You and Terrance seem so close..." 

The tears had taken him aback, sure Terrance was his assistant. He was like a son to him. But it wasn't the reason that mattered just for it.

"He was my closest child than any other dead memes I've taken care of. Besides with any other children of mine that you killed..." 

SMG3 glared down at the memory Four had done. 

"It's... from the past... I've moved on already like I said." He dropped the subject, in mentions of Terrance. He couldn't bear to remember such painful memories and the fun times he and Terrance made.

But he couldn't blame SMG4 even tho he hated the man so much. "Do you... still hate me?" Four's hands shook, upset with the actions he'd done. 

A long pause holds within the air, contemplating to himself if he would want to tell the truth, but he'd rather shove that marker up his ass if he would too.

SMG4 had been waiting for his response, holding his patience. 

"SMG3?" 

.

..

...

"I don't know." 

When three tried to respond, he couldn't answer straight away. It felt like the words were choking his throat.

Unable to answer the most obvious things...

"What do you-" The man in white and blue spoke that us when suddenly abrupted their conversation.

A nerve-wracking scream from an Italian, barged into the room with a Mario Kart destroying the door.

With Three taking him on the cover, Four hugged himself. He didn't know how to react and if he did, what should he express? In what words will he put?

Four just stayed put, this is all enough for today. Everything that is happening puts a spiral on his head.

How could he- SMG3- protect his rival even tho they aren't enemies anymore? 

Even tho they both hate each other, the nerve of wanting to kill one another, the HATE they both keep gaining. 

But still, these actions that four had caused. Were still permanent from the things that he'd done to damage three.

How- why would SMG3 still help SMG4 after everything…?

“The door was locked.” The fat Italian hopped out of his broken kart, walking towards SMG4. SMG3 lets go of Four before Mario can even react. With each step the man’s footsteps took, Four listened to the sound of how it synched from the heart beating in his chest.

SMG3 took a step back but immediately tugged in hugging them both by Mario himself. “Mario’s-a-glad you both did it! But S-M-G-4…?” He shared glances between the two guardians, then to SMG4. He cupped his glove to Four’s right cheek, looking closer to see those grey eyes reflecting light from the ceiling. 

“I’m alright Mario, you don't have to be worried.” “BUT MARIO SHOULD WORRY!” Smg3 eyed the fat Italian, he was four’s closest friend. A dearest one. When will he ever stop thinking about this jealousy that happens whenever Mario is near him when they’ve been both PRACTICALLY TOGETHER in some ways in a fight?

He didn’t want to keep on pressing buttons. He’ll just play the role that he’ll put through.

As a Meme Guardian with a bond to one another.

“Mario has been worried about you! Thinking if you barely even made it alive but you are! He thinks you could’ve died!” He screamed “MAMA” feeling the words bounce back from the thick walls. “MARIO THINKS YOU DIED AFTER GIVING EVERYTHING FROM YOUR POWER TO SAVE YOUR GAY FRIEND!” He started whining like a baby with his tears bursting out in the corner of his eyes.

Both of the meme guardians winced at Mario’s comment when the mention of ‘gay’ was heard.

“THE HELL? I’M NOT GAY FOR HIM YOU ASS!” SMG3 smacked off Mario’s head making it form into a completely flat folded face, he sat right beside SMG4. He didn’t know what he was doing at all. He never stopped and kept on doing so. (not just because to make sure he was there. It’s to keep him safe, and to remind that he’s already got his back.)

SMG3 covered his chest with both arms, his legs tilted on the other side where he could give foursome space of his own.

Mario is a good person. In some ways when it’s for his friends, he has a kind heart and a soft one when it’s with the ones he loves the most. But he couldn’t handle pain like how Three had dealt it with his way. It pities him.

“I’m okay now Mario like I said, I just lost my vision-” “Just lost? JUST LOST?” He threw out a “MOMA F-CKER” and ranted about what could’ve gotten worse than losing both eyes for sightseeing.

“Alright, red that's enough! Cut SMG4 some slack will you?” Meggy yanked off Mario’s back overall. “He doesn’t want to!!! He needs to be on his friend’s side! AAAA!!!!!” Mario tried to resist but ended up getting pulled out of the room. 

…

And it’s just that. Once again the silence covered the room with thicker ones, both of the boys were far more speechless.

“What- what just happened…” SMG4 asked looking nowhere but upfront, SMG3 sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. “Mario is being the typical again.” SMG3 said with a slight kick of his right foot from the air.

But anyhow. Smg4 is lucky to have a friend like Mario, he knows it’s not much for the red man that could offer any good benefits but does come by very much to hang around with Four. What he’s worst at? No one knows.

If SMG3 were to think after Four has been fully recovered he can go back to the Peach’s castle and probably teach himself how to walk with a stick.

Now that’s a bit improper.

SMG3 thought, if he were to leave four right now they both are going to have such huge complications with each other or more than that- HIS PARTNER IS BLIND. So maybe the option of leaving right after is more of what a d-ckhead would do for a living, he may be a bastard for ruining and destroying Four’s life again and again. But now that he’d changed after giving up? He didn’t even care wherever four goes.

He thought he moved on already but some part of his guts pulled him close to his link. The connection he and his ex-rival shared was a bit of a match and the future’s destiny for them both to protect the universe. How would they both still use their meme energy powers even tho one is blind?

What’s worse? Leaving Four solves all of his problems now that he’s blind? Or literally, stay with him for the rest of his life?

It was an exception for him that he couldn’t even decide with his own choices. How could he, the Hero, be the one who risked his own life to save his mortal enemy?

“It hurts…”

“It hurts…”

“It hurts…”

“It hurts…”

“It hurts…”

“It hurts…”

It hurt him. How could he…? It wasn’t fair at all.

“You could’ve…” SMG3 turned his head to him. “Huh?” SMG4 never quite caught the attention of what Three ever wanted from his life, but now that he has done all that. Saving his eye, almost the result of his dying is a tragic way to think of now that you’d want to consider leaving the blind guy to deal with his own.

“You could’ve just left me out there…”

Four could’ve left three out there, back when Niles almost took out three’s right eye.

“And I didn’t, I saved you.” SMG4 calmly replied, brushing his fingers against the edge of the sheets. “I didn’t want to lose a friend of mine you know? That’s why I had to act it all out.”

“Do you still hate me?” 

He recalled his words.

Despite everything, there were no words left to say in a sentence.

“Three…?” SMG4 wanted to look three in the eyes, but he couldn’t. The man didn’t answer.

“What was the reason?”

—-

SMG3 didn’t think through, he didn't know what words he could say to the man. Why must it be so hard for him to come up with the answer rather than just saying one word? Sure he hated the man for about so long now, but the problem of him is…. 

What exactly was the problem at this point?

Why does he still hate Four? Does he? Yes? No? What is taking him so long to respond?

He doesn’t know, of course,7 he doesn’t know. What else would be a better way to tell him?

“Three, the truth. Now.”

“I-” “I need to know if you still- please…” SMG3 stared at his faded white eyes, something about it made his body tingle in such a sensitive feeling that it wouldn’t let him look away.

Staring back at the man’s eyes just made him shiver, feel guilt, and feel the bottom of his pit hit him the most. 

“Three….?” “I don’t know!” SMG3 cried out loud, both his knees now dropped down fully to the ground. Sobbing relentlessly waiting for what's going to happen next.

SMG4 stayed quiet, he didn’t know what words he could say to him but listened. 

Three moved towards Four while both of his knees were down on the floor, now holding both of Four’s hands.

“I- I hated you since before…. When we were enemies, back when I tried to steal away your videos, back before this happened, and even taking it back from the past. I’m not even sure what to think about it anymore. If I still do or not.”

SMG4 is easy to hate on, his stupid antics, his stupid sh-ts that were tossed again and again, he was just as miserable as Three is. They could never understand each of their signals. It already messed them both up one time, it could have gotten even worse if Four pushed more buttons and double-jointed his trick up his sleeve. 

He can’t blame SMG4 after assuming he’d be doing something wrong during his uprising popularity. He was the bad guy, always has. Why else would Three expect that things are okay now between him and Four even after the stupid cruel things he did to him?

“You were an -sshole, I was a f-cking disaster… I don’t even have any idea what made you still stay close here with me after the things I did…” He spat out the words from his throat, he couldn’t believe the words he was saying out loud in front of him.

Three felt the tears from his eyes wouldn’t go away. He tried to stop this heartbreaking, tried to hold it inside of him yet he failed once again. “But I-I don’t hate you anymore…” Four looked at the man in worry. “I gave up on being evil like I said, I couldn’t blame you for assuming… You still see me the way how you always do.”

“I’ll… never be… good enough…”

Four brushed the tears away with two thumbs softly pressing to his cheeks. “You’re already good enough, to me… To everyone in here isn’t that already enough for you?” He leaned closer, bumping his forehead onto his partner. 

“I may have been a b-tch to you and everything that I did. It was my fault too, not yours only so don’t blame yourself.” he ran both of his arms through his back slowly feeling each other’s breath. 

Three spotted his lips, staring, gazing, and slowly… started to get closer finding an opportunity to kiss his lips. SMG4 could feel his soft lips touching his, the burning sensation, hearts now collided together. The fluttering feeling from his stomach and his heart hammering. Four closed his eyes, seeing imaginative colors whirling yellow, blue, purple, and red  

The combination of blue and Purple made an amazing explosion pulsing of Indigo. 

He loved this feeling, he needed this feeling, they both carved their names to each other’s souls knowing that they belonged together. They finally pulled each other apart after that kiss, it was magical, it was emotional, breathtaking…

Three covered his mouth in shock at what he had just done, it started with making sure the guy was safe then kissing his lips. Does it even matter anymore? What is this strange feeling that wrapped him around? Is this the meaning of love? Did he do it after 8 years of his rivalry with the most important and loving person right in front of him?

To experience the feeling of Love?

Four was too stunned to speak with his mouth open, his eyes were in shock. His cheeks were tinted red, therefore started questioning his life between SMG3 He never thought much of it but now that he does, he was left with so many thoughts about it. 

He never thought falling in love with his arch nemesis was soon to discover each of their tainted mistakes.

“I- I’m sorry- I-I- didn’t know what came over me- Four I can-” SMG4 quirked up his cheeky grin and started giggling, by a low sound of his giggle grew louder. He started tearing up in tears of laughter. “Why are you laughing dumb-ass?!” furrowed eyebrows formed from the man in purple, the confusion on his face says it all. 

Mixed Feelings sent signals to his brain, he now wasn’t sure if Four was even joking around or laughing at him. “Are you making fun of me?” “N-no!” SMG4 flicked a tear from the corner of his eye.

“I was laughing because I never thought you’d also feel the same, it took us more than five more years just to understand…” “Understand what?” SMG3’s body stiffened after four rested both hands on his biceps. “This that we had a falling… both of us falling in love with each other at the worst moments to start.” Four smiled at Three now finally understanding what the man meant.

Three joined in, and both waves of laughter escaped out of the room’s atmosphere. They both are different, but love is always here. Unconditionally giving them strength, growing stronger day by day without even realizing it.

Love may be blind but it couldn’t be hidden. When push came to shove, his heart landed on the Blue man, and he did as well. SMG3 started hugging Four even more tightly. “Thank you…” SMG4 lowered his hand going down to place it to the man’s waist. “I’ll be here, always…. I’ll watch over you, I’ll take care of everything…” 

“Woah now, didn’t expect you had this soft side honestly I wouldn’t mind… wait- taking care of me?” SMG3 placed his hand on the man’s shoulder. “SMG1 told me I should look out and watch over you more often now. I don’t know why or what he meant about that, I wouldn’t mind honestly. At least I get to check up on you.”

SMG4 smiled weakly, he knew something that Three didn’t. 

What images he could describe when SMG1 told Four about what his arm looked like, even when Three is around now that he checks up on Four? He’ll surely know about this sooner or later.

In other ways, he won’t tell him about this just yet. 

“So, does this mean we’re both- uhh… you know?” SMG4 asked while holding Three’s hand. Three smiled back at him. “Yes, we are, unless… You don’t want to?” Three smirked making four roll his eyes now both of them flirting.

“Alright-alright we’re alright now, stop playing with my feelings.” 

-- THE END --

[hyena-honeybadger]

This is my first post, I will mostly do cod smut and fics, if you have any suggestions I’d greatly appreciate it.

{I very much recommend listening to change by deftones during reading this as that was a huge inspo to my writing style}

CW: Smut, angst, mean/abusive price, child abuse, blood, manipulation, kinda dub-con, kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, torture, mental torture.

Katz und Maus

- Every day seemed the same when you’re were a ghost, it blended together, not living but merely haunting. You’ve never been off base, you live the life of a soldier but never go on missions… price wouldn’t allow it, your his daughter but barely, your no t related, and he never treats you like one. You believed at some point he loved you, you thought that at some point he actually like the idea of having a little girl, a princess he could spoil, somebody he could dress up, raise. Now he doesn’t know how he could ever think that, he had a job and nobody to look after you, he soon saw his ‘daughter’ as a pest in his own home. He’d be gone for weeks on missions, he’d come back hands bloodied, the lingering scent of blood and the cigar he’d smoke. He’d just sit on the couch in silence. You never knew when was the turning point of the house becoming oh so quiet, as years past and you grew up you both had had the mutual understanding of just living with each other. He now never talked of you, it was never “my daughter.” It was “Y/N.” The most you’d usually talked was when he’d make a cutting comment, and as much as he tried to care, try to find the dream of having a daughter you were never that. So he’d just say things, with well honesty “you should workout more.” “Your really gonna eat that?” “Have a great time dressing like that with a base full of men.” You hated it, but all do did was nod in hopes that one time one of his comments would be one of praise… but honestly all you’ve ever wanted was a father …or somebody… anybody… yet you didn’t try to talk to anyone on base, they have gotten used to you not talking that it would be odd if you did… you didn’t find much of a point of anything, your mind constantly tormented by imagery you had wished your sorry mind had repressed and forgotten about but was instead instead another tool used by life to torture you. Break your will. How did I get here… why am I here…

- Blood dripped down your nose as a reminder of your existence, that your not yet a ghost. It was so quiet… so cold… the night was almost a void you wandered in lost in your own empty sorrowful mind, not knowing how far you’ve gone from base. Things that you knew didn’t exist stung in your mind, it festered… it got worse, blood, the knife… your mothers scream… and something new… leaves crunched behind you. “Schatz~” your whole body stings in shook, legs buckle yet you don’t fall. It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real. You echo in your mind and yet the footsteps get louder, to frozen to move, you let this entity approach. “Your ways away from your base aren’t you maus?” You shudder not being able to wander haunted by this voice, your body refuses to turn around, not wanting to know what horrible imagery your mind would come up with to torment you, you tightly close your eyes…drip... Once again that blood reminds you your alive… I’m real… the thing behind me isn’t… yet your were so utterly mistaken. Your eyes flash open and you feel a tight hand over your mouth, you try to scream out but your voice is trapped in your throat, you thrash around, but he was stronger. Your eyes immediately glaze over in fear. Something pricked you and your neck stung but only for a minute before collapsing, your weak body caught by him. Your consciousness slipping, you tasted blood in your mouth from your nose… this is real… he is real…you slump unto the ground gradually your body lying against his legs, a quiet laugh echos and your in the void…

KONIG POV…

I had been watching the 141 base for a while, I was staked out on the outskirts of the base I had access to there cameras and just waited, if there were an opportunity I wouldn’t be shy to seize it. As a watched over i saw the court yard,few soldiers grouped up, smoking, laughing… i flipped around the other cameras nothing notable. eventually I circled back around to the one of the courtyard… the group seemed to be looking at something out of the vision of the camera, one tall guy points to it and seemingly waved it over, yet there expression wasn’t one of humour or playfulness instead, a darker look, a glare to whoever this was. They said something. A girl wearily walked into sight of the camera shakily, she sharply glanced around if as she didn’t know what was going on and how she got there, confusion and innocent fear plastered on her face. The group radiated aggression, one walked up to her and grabbed her wrist to which she pulled away. Poor maus… His hand whipped across her face, she fell, face darkened on the camera with blood… she was then collapsed on the ground, shaking like a cold kitten, the man standing menacingly above her yelling something. The rest of the group laughing behind them. I watched this go on for a few minutes, yelling, laughing, shaking. At some point the group must’ve gotten bored and had left the poor maus alone, to which she sat, hands covering her face, shaking.

I hope you enjoyed this, I'm fully new to posting, so I might be inconsistent at first. I know it's not that much smut, but stay tuned!

Stay tuned for part. two !

- By Hyena -

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

Superfluous writing update

Calling this superfluous because it's about a story I've decided not to publish, but it's a writing update nevertheless and while I'm deeply dissatisfied with the result, I can still use it for my YOI canon/post-canon series.

The (first) draft of my Vitya backstory, which I've started writing during my Easter holiday, is finally finished. A part of me kept hoping that I might change my mind because it had some highlights like the origin of the bondage lilac fairy, but unless I invest an unholy amount of my time in the revision, it's not going to become a story that anyone would be interested in reading because for all I know, it doesn't match people's expectations about Viktor's past at all. In addition to that is this draft a big construction site.

Here's what imho makes the story unappealing and/or screams at me to be fixed:

Baby Vitya obsessing over a late famous Russian ballet dancer, who I thought would be an amazing idol for him and inspire him to become the kind of skater we see in YOI - no actual story here, just a loosely connected series of events.

Early teenage Vitya still obsessing over his ballet dancer and experimenting with feminine styles and being very stubborn about it despite everyone criticising him - still no actual story here, though, and his arguing with Yakov is becoming repetitive.

A very lenghty part about his first love that was mostly self-indulgent because I knew I had to end it eventually - actual story here for once, but let's be frank: who does even want to read 8 chapters about Viktor/OC?

A first Olympics that very likely is not at all like what Sayo and Mitsurou had in mind for the movie because my Vitya is still trying to get over his heartbreak. Note that I never aimed for that because this project is the result of smaller details I've invented for my series, but the result is far from what I had in mind and although that's part of a natural writing process, the result is extremely dissatisfying.

No drama revolving Viktor's decision to cut his hair because I believe that it was just him getting tired of his long hair and reinventing himself/crafting a new persona.

Poorly fleshed out programmes (there were just too many and I was too busy jotting the story down).

Appearences of real-life figure skaters who competed at that time because I was too lazy to invent OCs for anyone who is not Stéphane Lambiel.

Poorly researched Russian culture (I was too preoccupied with turning post-Soviet Russia into a country that is compatible with the world of YOI than looking into such details).

No teenage Viktor meets teenage Yuuri because during the time the story is set, they never skated in the same category due to their age gap: when Yuuri discovered Viktor, he was 12 and Viktor on the verge of entering seniors, and by the time the story ends, Yuuri has just reached the minimum age to enter seniors.

Honestly, I don't see the appeal in any of this, even if I fix the issues, shorten the lenghty parts and connect the scenes in the first half to an actual plot. It will take months until I will have time for such an endeavour and it will take even more months to turn this clusterfuck of a draft into something readworthy, and by then here will already be dozens, if not hundreds of Young Vitya stories written by people who will likely do a much better job at it than I could ever do.

Why is that even important to me? My stories are very dear to me and posting into the void just hurts. So far, I didn't have any luck with stories that are basically Viktor without Yuuri. This one was especially precious to me because it's a coming-of-age/coming-out story. Since the movie was cancelled, I also feel that expectations for this kind of story have skyrocketed because YOI fans crave to get their Ice Ado in one or the other way. Last but not least, this draft needs an unholy amount of work, and given all the reasons I've just listed, it just doesn't feel worth the effort at all.

So yeah, I wrote a story I've been burning to write since I had the idea back in January, and for the first time in 15 years of writing fanfiction (and 10 more years of writing), I've fucked it up. I now have 115k of backstory I can use in my ADTLTBA-series to flesh out Viktor, which is ridculously much for a backstory. On the pro-side, I now can rest assured that this story will never be abused to hate on animation studios and I'm just emerging from two very intense weeks of writing, which I haven't had since last NaNoWriMo.

[peridotporygon]

redoing my pinned because uhh i wanted to ^_^

tldr; my name is pory, i go by he/him and this is a blog where i scream into the void about my intrests and ramble about my ocs :)

+ check out my pokefarm!

pronouns.cc (more info on how to refer to me)

also note: this post will probably be updated a lot as my intrests change, also because i love editing my pinned lololol

▷ hello !! you can call me porygon or peridot or any other iteration of my url ^_^ !! i'm still trying to figure out a name for myself so it might change at some point, but porygon is fine for now!!

▷ !!!i am a minor!!! please be normal about that!!

▷ please try and use he/him and masculine terms for me !!! i also use xe/xem and a handful of other prns but i prefer he/him!!

▷ i am very socially anxious but i love making mutuals!! just ask me :>

▷ i'm transmasc and aroace, and i also collect a ton of xenos!!

▷ i'm otherhearted and relate a ton to nonhuman creatures (especially aliens and cats!!) call me a CREATURE. i am an ANOMALY!!!

▷ i have audhd (professionally diagnosed adhd and kind of?? diagnosed autism,) as well as diagnosed OCD. i might be slightly awkward or unnatural in conversations, please be patient with me!! :D

▷ i'm very prone to derealization and paranoia, please do your best to not directly mention triggering topics around me as they trigger really bad intrusive thoughts

what i'll post about !

▷ mostly fandom related stuff

▷ general art stuff

▷ my ocs!

▷ aus ive created

▷ random rambling about things

tagging guide & sideblogs !

#pory.pdf — me talking about whatever i want, usually related to fandom stuff or just me getting autistically excited™️

#arts.exe — my art tag!

#tw vent — me venting, block this tag if needed (i honestly just need to scream into the void, you aren't obligated to offer support)

#crystalmon — a steven universe x pokemon au i made, although i mostly stopped updating for now

#pmdau — a steven universe x pokemon mystery dungeon au, this one is slightly more active

#oc tag: [x] — specific ocs

#pory gaming hours — usually me liveblogging my pokemon nuzlocke experiences or whenever i start a new game

#poryblog — random life events, literally me just blogging :p

@pixelsgifs — gif and web resources blog, i also make stamps and userboxes there

@cosmic-message — alterhuman blog (if you know me irl please ignore this one)

pokemon irl / rotomblr blogs ! (note: all rotomblr stuff is currently on hiatus due to school + mental health, and i'm working on redoing their stories :p )

@nells-universe — a cryptid and alien investigator who always seems to have unexplainable things happen to her... at the cost of her own health. [most active]

@poke-dexter — nell's older brother, and a former evil team member who's trying to navigate the world without the "supports' of the team.

@team-ethereal-official — an extremely annoying rich kid with a plan to exterminate the galar region of all "ugly" pokemon. totally doesn't have a crush on lysandre :3

intrests !

☆ pokemon (special interest)

☆ steven universe (hyperfixation)

☆ the scp foundation

☆ pokemon mystery dungeon

☆ competitive pokemon (mostly on showdown)

☆ aliens and cryptids

☆ meow wolf (THoER and omega mart)

☆ cats & animals

☆ gravity falls

☆ liminal spaces

☆ analog & digital horror

☆ i saw the tv glow

☆ warrior cats

☆ sonic the hedgehog (mostly the idw comics)

☆ ok k.o

☆ rocks and minerals

☆ inanimate insanity

music !!

☆ will wood !!!

☆ alex g

☆ jack stauber

☆ roar

☆ phoebe bridgers / boygenius

☆ mitski

☆ adrienne lenker

☆ sign crushes motorist

characters !

peridot is currently THE character that occupies my brain right now. she's my blorbo. my skrunkly. the creature EVER.

other sillies include:

▷ clemont (pokemon xy)

▷ liko (pokemon horizons)

▷ lapis (steven universe)

▷ tangle the lemur (sonic)

▷ blaze the cat (sonic)

▷ dendy (ok k.o)

▷ eli / bones (scp 2721)

▷ GOOSEFEATHER😭 (wc)

▷ mapleshade (wc)

BYF / boundaries !

> i don't have a dni for fandoms or anything, as long as you don't directly support problematic creators (as in buying merchandise, concert tickets, etc.) i honestly couldn't care less about what you enjoy, because it's what YOU like!!

> on another note: if you actively hate on people's intrests, this isn't the place for you lol

> aspec people are literally queer. sorry. end of story. if you're going to deny that you should just..... leave

> don't make any romantic or sexual remarks towards me, even if it's a joke. i also dislike sexual jokes (especially if you're a stranger, it's just really weird)

> don't talk about anything existential or relating to human existence, it will literally cause me to go into a spiral

> in general, just be a nice person. don't be discriminatory on here, this is a safe place

> i'm not intrested in contact with people outside of tumblr, so please don't ask for any of my socials or contact information.

thank you for listening to me and respecting my boundaries!!!

[ashcoveredtraveler]

Pure Vessel/The Hollow Knight things, designs or head cannons I might use for them(or are already using).

- They are very blunt. They haven't been taught the whole song and dance about jokes and haven't been taught social norms among nobles. If they aren't afraid of whoever they are speaking to or if they respect the bug, then they would be honest regardless of how rude it could come off as. They think honestly should be above all else based on what they went through.

-They aged and physically looked older after their Sealing. I was mostly inspired by this work by @atlantic-grave . The artwork makes the PV look older than most artworks of them. White Lady and the Pale King don't really look old, but they look mature and not young. So I feel like PV looked younger than their parents when they were fully grown, and then time in the Black Egg along with the trauma they endure made them age to a point where they can look their parents age or even older depending on if they are going through a rough patch. I am still considering making them look older but I am unsure how to make them look older as their face is shell and it's harder for them to emote.

-In my rambling on what the hk would do after escaping the Black Egg, a lot of the options I gave were that they tried to have a "normal life". Whether that be getting an education, learning a trade, or ruling over what's left of Hallownest. I feel like they wouldn't "retire" and just try to be a normal bug as much as their injuries allow them to be so.

-While PV isn't hollow, it is hard for them to make attachments to anyone or anything. They weren't taught to cherish trinkets and were only taught to use tools and their skills. So I bet you they would only accept gifts they could use. Even though they cared for the Pale King, I would think that it was more of respect and worship and not actual attachment. So once out of the Black Egg, they would probably think nothing of the death of The King and move on easier. They learn to make more attachments when recovering.

- PV had vision issues after the sealing before and after their sealing. I'd imagine they would be super photophobic cause of their void nature, the future blindness from their mother and the past blindness from their father. I also saw a fic called The Shenanigans of a Blind Vessel, and in that PKs light blinds them when they are ascending. Another thought I had was that all vessels are blind but they are super sensitive to everything else. Regardless PV has vision issues and their sealing makes it even worse.

-The Radiance carved out vocal cords for hk during their sealing. She was so she could hear them scream outside of the dream. When they were released they had the ability to talk, but that took a lot of time and healing. Even then they talked in a quiet raspy voice. However the way that The Radiance carved out vocal cords the way that moth vocal cords are formed, so they knew the syllables then they could speak better Lightling(moth language) then common Hallownest.

[totallyjustabunchofhocuspocus]

So, bit personal, but a few months ago I ended up taking one of my students and their little sibling in as foster kids. My state lets teachers count as kinship guardians so I didn't go through any classes or licensing. We found out that my student was going to be placed in another city, separate from their sibling and I just couldn't let it happen. Literally went from "can I get an emergency foster license" to "you now have a preteen and a preschooler in your house" in like a week. And it's been weird, kinda awkward, and mostly wonderful. Today we had court and they were returned to their parent's custody. And, 100%, I support that. Their parent has done the work to be safe for them again (it's been about a year-long process...I was an actual emergency placement). Their caseworker feels good about it, their GAL feels good about it, I feel good about it. Reunification was always the goal and I'm so happy for them. But I'm also really fucking sad that they won't be here anymore. I dunno, it's been such a mixed emotion day. I've always thought that I might like to be a foster parent, but if it's this hard when it was a completely positive outcome, I don't know if I could handle it if it was a harder situation.

Just screaming into the void, honestly. I'm totally sure it was the right thing for all involved, but I'm going to miss them SO much.

[woahg-i-am-thoroughly-confused]

it’s so weird to think even once I do get over them, even once we part ways and I never see them again, they’ll always be apart of me. Like, they were my first serious relationship that I wholeheartedly thought would last. I thought that we would last.

so even after I never see them again, even 20 years from now, I’ll still think about them. They’ll still be apart of my memory, like, forever. They’ve made me laugh and cry and they’be made me feel like I’m the only person that mattered and then like I don’t matter. And I loved them? I still do. Of course, I know they don’t like me and never will, that’s okay. I would rather them be happy with someone else. Because even if they are exactly want I wanted, I am not what they need. And that’s okay. It wasn’t supposed to happen. and I have to learn to be okay with that. They’ve been honest, they’ve told how they feel, and now it’s my turn to get over it.

I am so pathetically in love with them though. Not a single day has passed since they broke up with did I not think about them. Even now, when they text me I jump and my heart stops because ‘hey, this could be it’. Because I’m dumb, and I’m not over them. Honestly, all I really want is to see them with someone they need, someone they love, and someone that loves them. It sounds stupid and overdone but it’s true. I would rather have them hate me if it meant they would meet their person. And I have a feeling they will because they are so incredible.

idk why I made this I’m mostly just screaming into the void. but yeah morals: I REALLY have got to get over this person.

[letyukisayfuck]

hey!! i really like your blog and all of your thoughts about haruhi the franchise are so interesting but what I'm curious about is how do you feel about koizumi in general? you speak about him very rarely but he's my fav character and you're my fav tumblr account so far so i wanna hear it if you have something to say about him ahah

aaaaaa thank you! i'm glad people like my particular brand of nonsense and screaming loudly into what i initially thought was a void. gotta say, being called someone's favorite tumblr is an honor i never thought i would receive from anyone

so yeah, i mostly talk about koizumi on here to give him shit, but honestly that's partially because i find it funny that after mikuru gets promoted from being nothing more than the universe's punching bag he basically takes her place in terms of 'character that suffers for comedy' (see: random numbers and seven wonders in particular), and partially because the text gives us very little of him seemingly being genuine without some level of bullshit attached to it.

like i said yesterday, i don't dislike any of the brigade; koizumi would probably be classed as my least favorite, but it's not so much because i dislike him and more because he never gets the narrative focus that would bring him up to the same level as mikuru

we never really get something that eqates to love at first sight or the melancholy of mikuru asahina for koizumi, and certainly nothing on the level of disappearance or intrigues (which i would argue are the yuki and mikuru spotlight novels, respectively)

(melancholy and surprise i would class as haruhi spotlights, one before and one after her character development; and sigh i would class as 'establishing material that is necessary but not exactly fun to sift through for the most part')

i like to think if we ever get another long-form book it'll be koizumi-centric, mostly because i'd like to see him actually get to be a major player! it's getting a little sad to watch kyon hear him go "maybe i wanted to time travel" and just go "i mean what could koizumi possibly want from me"

but really, the only koizumi spotlight we have is the tempo loss bishop exchange--which, notably, while i take it as canon (as it was authorized) was not by tanigawa; if i remember right, it was instead written by sou sagara

i read a fan translation, as there's never been an official release and my relationship with the official haruhi translations is reasonably antagonistic on a good day, and i think it's worth noting that for the first page and a half i didn't think there would be a plot. i thought it was just koizumi's philosophical bullshit, novelized.

that said, it was really fun to read something from his perspective (kind of like how editor in chief gives us insight into yuki and mikuru via their writing styles; but more direct)

so, before i get into my own thoughts (which i believe i've touched on before), it's worth noting that while the entire cast of haruhi can be easily read a variety of ways, koizumi is arguably the easiest to do this with because we get so little to work with in terms of "things we know to be true"

things we know for sure are true about koizumi: north high student (presumably a teenager), esper, works for a mysterious organization, considered attractive/popular (unless i'm misremembering something), has explicitly stated that he's always putting on an act but has never clarified how much and in exactly what way, earnestly offers advice but often contradicts himself, claims to be able to read haruhi's mood/emotions/something along those lines, and (in the later books) has made a hobby out of trying to convince kyon to deal with his very obvious romantic feelings for haruhi

my own reading of koizumi is biased by my readings of other characters and their relationships/dynamics; and it's also specifically the one i think is the funniest option: koizumi has a thing for both kyon and haruhi, is aware that neither of them views him the same way (with haruhi viewing him solely as a subordinate and only really paying attention when he's saying things she wants to hear, and kyon seemingly regarding him as a friend as well as a source of useful information, but hardly even willing to acknowledge that fact most of the time)

and, since he has accepted that neither of them like him that way but they do very obviously like each other, he's decided that they should get over themselves and get together. unfortunately, kyon's strategy when he hears things he doesn't want to is pretend no one's said anything at all, and so koizumi's words go ignored

[waywardstarfishkid]

Outragiously long and stupid rant incoming!

I like never make posts on here but I wanted to scream into the void about heartbreak high. Since s1 I've seen like really strange takes and half the time I'm like is it because people don't know how Australian school is different or is it a lack of critical thinking.

Like in s1 I only saw people either hating or loving spider and don't get me wrong either of those is valid but the way people were explaining it was strange to me.

For me I didn't like spider but not because he was some unrepeatable arsehole I actually think he was a great representation of a lot of Australian guys I knew growing up. Like he says dumb shit but then when things are serious he does the right thing like he helped malakai with the cop (then said fucking stupid things after) and he helped amerie at the festival, he wanted to help harper and let her in even though it would mean he and American would have to stop hooking up.

In comparison I swore people liking dusty who in my eyes was way worse than spider. He acted all woke like he said the right things and then did shitty things like shaming harper and deciding to frame jojo.

Like theyrr both shit but I would trust spider with my drink over but maybe not dusty.

Then ant I understand if you like ant and spider together but I think people maybe don't understand how touchy guys are with each other in Australia. Like gay straight bi whatever guy friends hang off each other and I think it's actually healthy to show that. I also saw someone complaining about spider and ant doing gay shit but only as a joke but I never saw that like I don't think any of it was a joke it just wasn't gay. Like spider calling him pet names them cuddling and stuff is just affection which is actually great especially for men who often don't know how to have affection that's not sexual.

Also can we agree that ant just doesn't care about the gender he's hooking up with like I don't think he's bi I think he's just into who he's into (is that pansexual? Sorry).

I was a bit disappointed with all the bisexual characters ending up in straight relationships but that's mostly because I really wanted an ant malakai and I liked Rowan Malaysia before it went to shit. But at the same time I dont like how people critiquing it often feels like Bi erasure. Like I'm a bi woman whos first gay relationship ended because my gf (lesbian) cheated on me with a lesbian because she constantly thought I was cheating on her with my guy friends and for a long time I just dated guys because I didnt know many bi women and lesbian girls kept being horrified that I would go near a dick (not all of them my ex was very understanding and actually encouraged me to embrace my sexualising when I was just a baby bi) but my point is I totally understand how having a straight relationship when bi can actually be more understanding (at least in mine and my friends experiences) and it's totally valid even though the relationship is straight.

Also people angry about not as much quinni (I agree more quinni she and cash are my loves) I'm actually happy they took a back-seat with her on the relationship front like her and Sasha were a big deal/quinnis first relationship and I think it wouldve really messed quinni up with how it ended. I also love that they're not just centring her storyline around being the gay girl you know like she I a multifaceted queen.

Also for the Sasha redemption, I get why people are calling for it but unlike spider and dusty like Sasha didn't really do anything wrong (except for how she treated quinni but they talked at the end of s1 and seem to be moving to a place of good friendahip) shes mostly just annoying and pretentious like the other idiots actually fuvked up. I don't really want a Sasha redemption I just want to see more of her character make her a bit less of a two dimensional hipster, which I honestly think they only didn't fo because they had a lot of characters to juggled Sasha had to take a back-seat so Missy could shine (and I love Missy so I'll allow it also her and malakais friendship means everything to me the indigenous representation that shows not just the aspects of country and family but also shows them as fully formed characters I LOVE)

Sorry for the obscenely long rant this is just all my thoughts from s1 and s2 so ignore it by all means and also if you disagree that's fine and you are probably right lol.

[curlyjoe7]

It’s easy to be mad, I sure am. But you need to channel your anger instead of running into shit blindly. Voting is fair (mostly, the electoral college is stupid though, if you ask me). If you voted, you did what you could. The problem doesn’t lie in such, the problem lies in the fact he was even allowed to run tbh. Which is… sad, infuriating, exhausting honestly. But. There is no need to absolutely lose your shit. Channel that rage, that emotional vulnerability. Use it to think rationally and make conscious decisions. If you care, that’s already a step in the right direction. Cause you should care. There is only one planet and it’s dying. At the end of the day, it needs us and we need each other more than anything right now. If you gotta scream, do it into the void. That’s okay, that’s healthy. Hell, scream therapy is a thing! So scream about all the harm you want to commit, don’t actually do it. Whilst you’re at it, cry like a baby about what’s making you sad. I don’t want light tears, I want you to cry so hard there is snot running down your face, your body shaking uncontrollably, and it’s so loud you’ll get a loud noise warning on your watch. Then get back up. And keep fighting. But no fighting fire with fire, because it only makes a bigger flame. So let’s be rational. And I don’t want to hear “Easy for you to say!” I’m a queer female, my rights are being threatened too and there might not be a planet for the kids I want so desperately. So, I’m fucking pissed too. I’m absolutely heartbroken. But y’know, I gotta think shit through before I do anything. Don’t want to cause more chaos. And everyone seemingly is. Literally everyone.

So here’s some tips:

Don’t engage in rage bait

Engage in thoughtful conversation

Help in your community

Vote in your local elections

Discourage violence

Encourage love

Protect what you stand for

Take care of yourself

Take care of the planet

Take care of each other

And mostly, think before you do. The world is already going to shit, do you want it to get worse?

Also, do some fun shit too. Watch the cat TikToks, buy that sweet treat, make that thing, buy the little guy trinket at the thrift store, put the eyelashes on your car, fuck around if you wanna (responsibly!), adopt a pet, chase that ‘stupid’ dream, go outside and play in the rain! Fucking live! They want us to just submit and essentially go away, don’t! Exist! Existing when everyone wants to erase your existence is the strongest thing you can do. Stay strong and remember, if no one else loves you, or cares about you, I do. Yeah, I don’t know you, you don’t know me either, but I do. Because you’re human. And that’s enough for me. Which is how it should be for everyone. Granted within reason. You ain’t gotta love bigots, k? Don’t forget that.

Just know, this is a safe space, always <3