#immortal alfred pennyworth

[redpumps]

au where everyone except batman cass and robin tim (and alfred ofc because i fully believe he's immortal and lwky an enabler) die and they're crazy possessive & codependent as they learn how to navigate living without the others xP

[kbirbpods]

Original Work: Immortality (means you get both death and taxes) by blueyeti

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Jason Todd, Gotham City & Alfred Pennyworth

Tags: Immortal Alfred Pennyworth, Sentient Gotham City, Eldritch Gotham City, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Jason thinks he's special, He's not, pfff like being undead is unusual, this IS gotham, Paperwork for Coming Back From the Dead, Alfred is a Victorian Gentleman's Gentleman, Paperwork, Gotham has forms for everythingI bet their insurance premiums are also insane, Temporary Character Death, Immortal Jason Todd

Audio Length: 29 minutes, 39 seconds

Summary:

Alfred Pennyworth is who you want on your side when dealing with how to legally come back from the dead. Luckily, Gotham has forms for this.

Notes: This podfic was a treat for @godoflaundrybaskets for Pod-O-Ween 2023! It also fit with the bonus tricks of "eldritch" and "damned"

[lady-ofliterature]

Do you ever just think, Batman passed the bat paranoia down to his children. Like, the Teen Titans will be chilling and Beast Boy asks what Robin would do if he turned evil and Robin just has a detailed file on each of them, counting all possible outcomes on how to take him down and their weaknesses. Jon asks Damian the same question and Damian has the most detailed contingency plan Jon’s ever seen, plus eight backups. The JL makes the mistake of mentioning it to Batman and he spends hours walking them all through what to do if he goes evil. Everyone is both impressed and concerned with the level of craziness and paranoia in that family. Clark will just walk in to the Batcave and see Bruce buried under a forest’s worth of papers full of what to do in any circumstance ever. Someone asks what to do if Alfred goes evil and every single bat pops up at the same time and says, “run” in the most serious voice possible.

[d-1hater]

honestly one of the main reasons I like dc is that they can’t keep a storyline straight for shit. anything I don’t like is just *not real*. that’s different storyline babes what are you talking about???

like at this point I can consider shit like wfa and hell even well written fanfics as canon bc who knows what’s going on with those funky little people?? certainly not the dc writers

[ktkat99]

Slightly Crack Batfam AU

Duke, shortly after being adopted, finds an old demon summoning circle burned into the floor under a rug in one of the rooms.

That, combined with some of the literature he finds laying around, leads him to conclude that someone in his new family is secretly a demon and he starts trying to figure out who.

Could it be Bruce, the literal demon of the night?

Dick, who bends and flips effortlessly in ways no normal human could?

Jason seems the most likely, as he climbed out of his own grave, but to be fair, he'd never actually seen Tim sleep.

And then there was Damian.

He never would have guessed that the demon is actually Alfred, summoned by a desperate, distraught Bruce the night of his parents' deaths.

Originally, their deal was just for Alfred to help Bruce get his revenge.

The reason he stuck around, though?

He realized he needed to make sure that Bruce and his collection of equally crazy orphans stayed OUT of the afterlife (and therefore AWAY from the throne of hell, which he has no doubt someone would eventually take) and decided to stay on as their oddly perfect butler.

[violent138]

Alfred totally picks up on more of the batkids' slang and Bruce is utterly bewildered when Alfred says slay when Steph debuts her upgraded bright purple suit.

[dragonraptyr]

Batman AU: Bruce has an adoption problem. It started several centuries ago with his first forays into the multiverse, and his first encounters with bad dad batmen. Now more than half of Gotham's population is various versions of the batfam.

He's got like, 160 Alfreds, two suburbs of stephanies, a district of Damians... etc.

Clark is mildly concerned. He had the good sense to incorporate the Kent farm as a township, not take over a city.

[kk-cats]

Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.

It's a running joke, really.

And it helps. It really does. Because Alfred is a constant, and the thought of losing him is a terrifying thing, isn't it?

Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.

It's a running joke, really.

When Bruce's hairs start going grey. When his bones ache just a little more than they normally do. Alfred's still there. And so they laugh over it, just a little. They joke that he's going to outlive them.

Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.

Isn't that a good thing, this little joke?

He's got contingencies, after all. Preparations. So the family can take care of themselves when he's gone. Notes and books. Reminders. He worries, after all. What they'll do when he's gone.

Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.

Isn't that a good thing?

Generations after generations of Waynes. And he'll be there. To watch over the children. To be a steady constant.

Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.

But Bruce Wayne is not.

What does it mean to outgrow your young charge? To watch him go into danger. To watch him don a suit and fight.

No parent should watch their child die of old age.

But you do anyway.

Alfred Pennyworth is immortal.

But none of his children are.

[frappegoddess]

--------------------------------------

Brucie: You're the best

Alfred: Clearly.

------------------------------------

Whatever Bruce is paying Alfred, it will never be enough. Give this man a vacation and give his son some competency regarding sleep lmao.

[batfam-fanfics]

Robins Eternal by Bekbek

11/? Chapters - 41941 words

Tim couldn’t die.

That sounded a little silly when said in plain letters like that. But he couldn’t. The first time he heard that sentence Tim was four years old and clinging to the hem of his mothers dress. In a rare showing of maternal instinct she’d crouched down to brush his hair back from his forehead. Her fingers left stinging red lines in their wake against his pale skin. She’d smiled at him with their shared frigid eyes and cooed- for his hearing only- ‘you can’t die Timothy. You’re not allowed.’

To bad his newfound obsession with Batman and Robin was so bad for his health.

[oneofgothamsinsane]

tell me why(ain’t nothing but a heartache) i just watched bruce wayne pout at his butler(Alfred, the immortal and maybe God of a person) bc we told him that he exceeded the legal amount of coffee we could give him in one day?

[theblobmaster]

alfred pennyworth is the dc equivalent of wolverine to me, in the way i am convinced no matter what timeline or what time period you'll pop into he's there.

[lady-ofliterature]

5 minutes into Batman the animated series and I’m already loving Alfred.

[ktkat99]

Bruce didn't inherit his playboy habits from his parents. He inherited them from Alfred.

[superklutzkent]

alfred is actually just some eldritch being that was watching over humanity for years and years. he took on a human appearance to blend in, he found the wayne's by chance - staying with them to study and learn more about the way people acted, but when thomas and martha were killed he decided to stay amongst humans solely for the reason of looking after, protecting, and raising bruce. because he'd grown rather fond of people, well most people. maybe just bruce.

bruce never suspects anything. not even when alfred's been in situations where he should've died, he doesn't question it, he's just glad he's alright. none of the batkids ever suspect it either, to them alfred is just alfred and they love him all the same. they don't even think that he probably should be getting a bit old throughout the years, bruce never even wonders why he looks the same as he did twenty years ago. maybe he ponders it a little, but whatever, he can think about it later.

alfred is just happy to be with his family, even if they're a little oblivious at times.