#im the batman

[jacocoon]

I forgive you Joker, U are a good boy

[everwalldigan]

Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?

Jason: *takes off his helmet*

Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?

Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*

Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???

[sageiii]

hc that every couple months jason texts tim like "hey r you going rogue yet?" "no" "alr lemme know if you change your mind" until one night tim gets this text while he's having an absolute shit week and goes yknow what? why not and suddenly the internet is filled with news that red hood teamed up with an unknown associate to cause chaos(stealing from corrupt billionaire type chaos, not mass murder of innocents type chaos) and said associate randomly shows up again every couple months

[transmasculinizing]

i honestly still think about this post daily

[frappegoddess]

Damian dyed Tim's hair Joker green and spray painted his suit because he called Jeremy the Turkey annoying, so as revenge Tim threatened to cook Jeremy, and left a pile of feathers and a perfectly golden brown Turkey on the counter in the kitchen. Because there's no other way to get back at your lil brother than emotionally manipulating him into thinking you tried to eat his pet.

Safe to say, Alfred and Bruce were not impressed, and the only way they got Tim to apologise to Damian was through Jason saying "Crazy you have beef with a twelve year old."

[goaheadandgetinthebog]

Several videos (independently) start circulating on the internet of the Waynes info dumping.

Bruce - the role of railways in westward expansion in the 1890s

Dick - clown eggs

Jason - tb and the New England vampires of the late 19th century, with reference to vampire literature

Cass - Paris sewer system

Tim - comparison of different camera lenses from different manufacturers, with model numbers

Duke - anti homeless architecture and how to remove it

Damian - cat declawing

After all this, a new meme forms.

'You must be this autistic to get adopted by Bruce Wayne.'

[theredcuyo]

Bruce tries to figure out why his kids tend to fall asleep when they're under his cape, because it's been happening since Dick was Robin and twice with Jason could be a coincidence, but it's still happening by the time Damian arrives, so there has to be something there

It's the weight? They do like they weighted blankets, but that doesn't seem to be it

He's doing experiments, anything but asking, really-

And it's not like they'd actually tell him that the real reason it's not the cape itself, but the fact that to be covered by it they're being carried by him

They're being hold by their dad, and can hide into the little darkness that it makes, making a little warm, safe, comfortable place because of the man who's wearing the cape

Most of the kids cried upon realizing this, they hadn't felt like that in a long time, or ever before

But since then, it was always a nice thing for them, no matter how big they got

Dick had tried to forget about it when he fought with Bruce, but the first time he had to be carried around after patrol together again, it was still there

Jason had almost actually forgotten when he came back, and by the time he was in good terms with B, he definitely was too big for it, right? Wrong, when they got attacked with fear gas and he was the last to be able to get out of it, he found himself in that same old warm place

Tim felt wrong about it at first, not his place, like everything, he remainded himself, but as time went on, he found himself craving for it sometimes, to an embarassing point where Bruce will just start opening his cape to him every. Night. Not that Tim will say no to it. Bruce does that to him, it's almost a routine by now

Cass and Damian have always liked to hide in there for "surprise factor" but if they stay in for longer, and Bruce knows they'll doze off, it's not a problem either

It gets a bit hard when it happens at the same time though

It was one of the first things they all did when Bruce was back from the time stream, a nice way to process the idea that he was back with them-

[smartshipfriday]

dc fans how we feeling

edit: IT WAS FAKE ANOTHER LEAK IS OUT IM SO SORRY GUYS

FINAL UPDATE (hopefully): he DID die but because of a ‘Lazarus Fluid’ was brought back to life real quick (as in by the end of the issue)

[arttuff]

it all depends on the lighting or something

[fruitfloats]

some of the habits different robins didnt realize came from Dick:

-Jason has kept the same stretching routine this whole time, even Dick has changed his, but Jason does the one that dick used to do in preparation for his circus act.

-When Tim taps his feet while writing out a report, he always taps out the same rhythm, the same one Dick used to do when he had to sit for long periods of time.

-Everytime Steph ties up her hair she uses a blue hair tie, they were the only ones around in the batcave when she needed one and then it became tradition for her. Dick used blue ones when he had longer hair because its his favorite color.

-Damian always rolls his right shoulder when hes standing around, he doesn't know why he does it or even notices that he does it. Dick injured his right shoulder years ago and it always needs to be stretched out or it gets stiff.

[ditzybat]

i love the headcannon that both tim and cass look scarily alike, to the point they could be twins.

like they both share the same general lithe build, they’re the same short height, cass has a short bob while tim has his baby mullet, their training is similar due to their backgrounds with lady shiva and the loa, and (depending on your headcanon) both waisan- so i can definitely see instances where they’re confused for each other or where they mess with everyone around them.

cass on patrol in red robin gear so tim can go on a date with bernard:

random thugs seconds away from being one hit k.o’d: yo since when did red robin start melting into the shadows like an eldritch horror?

jason: hey tim -

cass: wrong.

jason: no, im pretty sure you’re tim, i gave you that scar right there in your neck

cass: nu-uh, this is from cain

jason:

cass:

jason: well this got awkward…

steph hugging tim from behind: hey babe

tim: wrong wayne

steph: ew, i should’ve known, your ass isnt nearly as —

tim walking away with his fingers in his ears: lalalalala im not listening to you

damian: i think you’re the only one in this family i respect

tim who has been silently hanging out with him for the past 3 hours: aw thanks damian, i’ve come to love you like a brother too

damian: drake? i thought you were cassandra, my apologies, i retract my previous statement

tim: don’t care, you love me, don’t try to deny it

lady shiva hugging both tim and cass: my beautiful twins, such well trained weapons, unfortunate that you both ended up with cain

bruce pulling his children back: tim isnt yours…

shiva: well that cant be right, he’s s the spitting image of my sister carolyn, and that birth was far too painful to only produce one small child

tim: woah full circle, my drag-sona is called caroline, maybe you are my mom, i wouldn’t put it past janet drake to adopt

bruce: tim no, you’re not even the same type of asian

cass: too late, we’re blood

shiva: see!

[milesofstars]

dont worry about it jason...

[danidoodels]

They're twins your honor

[comics-centalx]

Dick and Jason's responses are the only correct ones

[arunneronthird]

did u know 9 year old damian was canonly exactly like this

[neptunezo]

The batkids are known for sharing clothes amongst each other, so imagine everyone’s surprise when Jason won’t let them borrow his hoodie. Upon further inspection they find out it’s Roy’s hoodie. This causes a chain reaction and now Dick won’t let anyone borrow his Wally hoodie, Tim won’t let anyone borrow his Kon hoodie, Damian with Jon’s clothes(which there was no need for because Damian’s clothes never fit anyways), Duke with Izzy’s, Cass with Steph, and so on. After this “civil war” they all reluctantly agree to end this and all clothes (their own or not) is up for grabs. (minus Damian and Jon, of course)

bonus is when their partners steal the batkids clothes only to find out later that it’s definitely not a wayne kids clothing item.

Roy: That’s my sweater?

Wally: Yeah well Kon’s wearing my pants so…

Izzy: I’m probably wearing one of your boxers, it’s for sure not Dukes

Kon: how do you know?

Izzy: Because Duke doesn’t own Minecraft boxers???

Steph: Oh yeah sorry, those are mine