#im still going to do it but jesus christ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

parelmoer · 8 months ago

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#working or trying to find work in the cultural sector is not for the faint of heart #insane that i have to basically beg museums to let me work for them as a full time intern and they only have to pay me half #of the belgian minimum wage #and they market it as some kind of big opportunity #im still going to do it but jesus christ #no wonder most of the museums and other cultural institutions ive come into contact w have no people w immigration background working there

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spaciebabie · 3 months ago

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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!

#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little #''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL #thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them #they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie #i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING #bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit #staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after #this shit sucks dude. it sucks #at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades #im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there #so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone #ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time #i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate #how many days have i been alive #7930 #lightwork #lets keep it goin #vent #trauma tw #trauma mention #wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier #before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced #i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people

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xxplastic-cubexx · 15 days ago

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That Erik sketch is his reaction to everyone(including me) in anon wanting to rail/impregnate his husband/ex-husband. He’s gonna kill us all and honestly it was a pleasure to serve with you fellow horny for Charles Anons o7

(Also why did he have his helmet on in the shower???? Was he afraid Charles would read his thoughts in the shower? What was he thinking about 🤔)

he can't even take a shower without some tom tittery happenin and everyone wantin to shag his ambiguous husband he gotta investigate 😔 got the helmet on so charles cant hear his murderous thoughts.... or what overly complicated scheme hes gonna pull just to have a date night with charles depends on the day really

#nsft #snap chats #i thought you said anon waiting room and im crying at the idea of a waiting room for people tryna bang charles thats FOUL #he DO got his helmet on in the shower. highkey i just think thats always a funny gag vjALKEJV YK WHAT I MEAN #like where a chara has a mask/helmet and they just. never take it off. classic mags to me... not allowed to see his face/hair..#charles cant be privy to erik's shower thoughts .... what do you guys think he thinks bout in the shower actually--#i dont think charles thinks in the shower i think hes too busy singing to do that. or brooding depends on the day. ig thats thinking.#charles is a bathtub man tho ... fair nuff ... you could still do that in the bath ... cozied up an shit THIS IS NOT ABOUT HIM #wait you know whats a cute detail i like now that i just reminded myself of it. to go back to the mags and his helmet JVAAELKJA #i like how in rivals his classic skin has an added shadow. like it obviously doesnt black out his face entirely but its still a cute touch.#his regular skin doesnt have that it's normal .. lol ...#anyway im sick ! im blaming my grandma. im in hell.#WAIT IM CRYING MY DAD JUST TEXTED MY SIBS GROUP CHAT LIKE 'im 61 im scared if i go in an antique store they wont let me out'#old man has no right being so funny 😭😭 so funny im opening the group chat to react for once lol ... anyways..#i gotta end this post jesus christ

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blueskittlesart · 10 months ago

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this may be the most insane finals season yet. why do i do this to myself

#42 page sequential art project + mini comic thats looking to be about 10 pages + 25 page junior thesis comic + 8 page art history zine #PLUS jane austen essay. jesus H christ #to be fair the 42 page project is done. so that's fine i just need to scan it. but still. LMFAO #if i go completely off the grid for the next 3 weeks this is why btw. im in the trenches again #ykw i havent given myself permanent nerve damage or cried in class yet so im still doing better than fall semester freshman year #i <3 art school

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miiiwu · 1 day ago

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can we not do fucking tme vs tma discourse about trumps ‘protecting women from gender ideology thing’ holy shit. shut the fuck up and go outside.

#jesus christ get your fucking priorities straight #discourse tw #like you do realizing they mean cis women AND trans masca they perceive to be women right #*trans masc ppl #like yes they r implying trans women r predatory but they r also implying trans men r confused girls who need to be protected too #they do not see trans men as men!!!#both are harmful!!!#i really don’t want to talk about the transandrophobia discourse on this blog bc i don’t wanna alienate my mutuals who may have opposing #views to me and i don’t wanna sacrifice potential friendship over trans infighting but at some point it gets to a boiling point #where i wonder if y’all are actually engaging with the reality of how transphobes view us #transphobes do not see trans women as women or trans men as men. sorry that transphobes aren’t transphobic in a way that affirms ur gender #no. trans men do not suddenly receive Male Privilege the second we start going by he/him #some of us still are perceived as girls by society at large and experience misogyny #sorry im rambling now and im sorry to any mutuals who r put off by my spiel but. its kind of hard to avoid talking about it on my main bc #it gets rlly annoying to see my experiences invalidated by my own so called community #can we stop making the gender binary but woke every like 5 years. it’s getting old #discourse cw #ignore this #uspol #us politics #shut up miiiwu/

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itsalwaysforyou · 9 months ago

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jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesn’t want to do anything coach might disagree with…….

#‘coach trusts me…’ like what if i cried #man i wish they made more of a thing of jay being TEAM CAPTAIN #<- i’ve made a post before abt how easily he gives it up & jay not liking positions of power etc etc #but i do think he treats the role like it could be taken away at any moment #coach TRUSTS him. holy shit coach trusts him #the first positive adult figure in his life trusts him to take care of the team #train them and critique them and lead them to victory #and coach probably wouldn’t have cared abt lonnie being on the team #but jay is sooooo hesitant to ask #coming from the ‘if you want it take it and if you can’t take it break it’ guy #like this is the one thing he doesn’t want to risk breaking…….#and then obviously he gives it up!!!!!#he gives up the thing coach TRUSTED HIM WITH bc it was the only way to let lonnie on the team #& mr ‘my only dislike is women being unhappy’ was like I CANNOT REST UNTIL LONNIE IS ON THE TEAM #it’s suchhhhh a sweet gesture not only from a hashtag feminism standpoint #but also character wise for jay #like this precious thing that coach has trusted him with but didn’t really want that much anyway…..#it’s going to mean more to lonnie if she had it. even though it means everything to jay #oh it makes me crazy #damn my mum was right. i think too deeply about things #im like i analyse things a normal amount and then i’m writing essays about 1 line from descendants 2 #I AM UNWELL #anyway. jesus christ #descendants #jay son of jafar #EDIT i’m not finished actually #do you think jay fears the repercussions? what would happen if he went against coach’s word?#bc sure. he knows coach is nice. he knows auradon isn’t like the isle #but. ‘you don’t want to be at my house at dinner time’…….#he is still scared of his dad. you know. he can never get the lamp he can never do anything right

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scattered-winter · 7 months ago

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every day i kick a rock and bash my head into the wall because i'll never get to go on a big space adventure and become tightly close-knit with my new found family up there <//3

#re lrb..........#i mean realistically if i was in the voltron/quintenary stars universe chances are i would probably NOT be one of the people #going on the space adventure.#i'd be roped into the plot when the aliens invade and earth almost gets destroyed. spoilers for arc 2 btw sorry #but man. child soldierism aside i wish that were me so so so bad #sadly kicks a rock when will EYE have a deep and mystical connection with a giant ancient cat :(#its not even that i want to interact with the main cast bc i dont really i just. wanna be in their position man #i think one of the reasons why voltron grabbed me so hard (among MANY) is how badly i wanted to do what the main characters did #i remember when i was first watching it while it was coming out i would CONSISTENTLY daydream about being launched into space #with a handful of other people and having to fight a war and grow up far away from home and all the suffocating stuff that came with it #and then coming back years later already solidly knowing who i am and being confident in that #so i'd actually be brave enough to be unapologetic about it. and i'd be found family with the people i went to space with also #that parts important #idk man just. i dont like saying i was abused when i was younger because i really dont think it was like that and it isnt even close to #what how people who have really been abused have had to go through #but sometimes i really do wonder. like now that im (mostly) out and able to review everything with an outside perspective #not even getting into the cult survivorism stuff this is JUST family dynamics im talking about here #bc that shit is a whole other can of worms #i think my parents were genuinely doing the best they could with the cards they were dealt but. jesus christ.#i would have given ANYTHING to be able to run away from all that. and throw magic cats into the equation? brother im GONE #anyway this tags ramble has derailed in a MAJOR way. tldr i wanted to be a paladin sooooo fuckign bad bro #like it actually makes me SICK how much i want a lion. red you are my forever girl even if only in my heart <///3 #i still do want to do all that out of principle but its not as desperate now i just really love space and really want a big kitty friend #winter speaks

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flugame-mp3 · 9 months ago

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what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.

#theo.txt #spn #charlie #spn spoilers #spn 10x21 #almost none of the women who've gotten fridged on this show have deserved it but still #good god this one made me especially angry #why do you use this character for a plot point and then ship her off somewhere. to oz or to the afterlife. so often?#she was such a cool character with a good story that i enjoyed and related to and THIS is what they did with her?? and from my perusing she #doesn't even really come back like bobby occasionally does?? and his death. while devastating to me as somebody who really liked him. still #felt WAY better than this #sorry i ended that episode with my jaw on the fucking FLOOR oh my god. /neg #what did she have to die for? where is that post about female characters dying so male characters can feel sad but it's a gifset of all the #bullshit ass deaths of women on supernatural #i love the show fucking obviously but jesus h christ.#but also you know what. having the context that i have. still a fucked up thing to say but i see why dean says That to sam now during #charlie's funeral. it IS an interesting look into how they respond to the other one violating their wishes/freedoms and into their larger #dynamic actually! but thats not what this post is really about #wow. i am actually livid. poor fucking charlie.#if she was like a sister to the winchesters how about you bring her back huh? how about you revive her? jesus christ #i wonder what her heaven is like. i hope its dnd and movie night with the girls #i took a little break mid-typing this to see if i was just being insane and angry but no the super wiki has a whole section about the fan #outrage at charlie's death and the discussions it furthered about the show's misogynistic tendencies #and you know what? good!#ok anyway. im going to go browse charlie art and feel abnormal now.#supernatural #charlie bradbury

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eldritchqueerture · 5 months ago

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youtube

Fantasy Music || Spark of Life

hi hello everyone. expect more soon 👀

#youtube #niki.music #i fr dont know what my music tag was #an ee way pspsps go follow?#im still thinking of spotify but lets try this for now #we'll see how it goes #fantasy music #dnd #jesus christ i hate self advertising. its good music sir trust me #I THINK.#what else do i put here #like and subscribe #blah blah blah

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storm-of-feathers · 6 months ago

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I maintain that stress sickness is a stupid maladaptive response like oooohhh the numbers in my bank account aren't big enough so now my body is cooking itself. bruh.

#my financial situation isnt like dire or a crisis (yet) but its not what i would like it to be.#too many expenses all at once kinda fucked me over.#im hoping itll even out but god its stressful.#dgmw ive always been smart about savings and stuff and we have like. enough for rent and whatnot.#as well as emergency money for... yk whatever.#but still i dont like using my savings (even tho thats what theyre for)#and its still stressful to go over numbers #esp bc we have so many weddings this year.#i rlly think joe and i made the right call to elope #i love weddings and the celebration of love. but i think us going to city hall and doing it there #might have been the right move. bc holy jesus fucking shit christ. planning weddings is soooo stress #my irls often have me help plan stuff like this bc im good at planning if its not for myself #and im also as my brother puts it ''good at nutting up and shutting others up'' on the day of #bc i can herd ppl. yk. good skill ig.#but also holy fucking shit even a small wedding is ludicrously expensive.#id like to have a wedding celebration with joe one day of course #but also. idk man planning it looks like HELL

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popponn · 1 year ago

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if i speak honestly how many people still want to stay my friend

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junkissed · 2 months ago

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😶‍🌫️

#have yall forgotten how to use tumblr or.#i hate hate HATE complaining but out of 500 notes there are three reblogs with tags like am i going crazy why does nobody say anything #did yall hate the fic or what. bc thats the vibe im getting #im not gonna leave tumblr but i really see why ppl do bc its so disheartening #genuinely i am talking to a brick wall #it really makes me want to not put in the effort to write anymore if no one is gonna say anything to my face #sorry for the vent post but im just frustrated #idk if its my fault or tumblrs fault or no ones fault but #like idk what else to do other than beg ppl to interact. and its not just readers i am fully shaming other authors bc you KNOW how bad it is #and you still refuse to read your friends work #how can you call urself mutuals if you never fucking reblog from each other #its so fake and toxic and im sick of it sorry #im not here to cause drama and i know i sound like a whiny bitch but jesus christ you guys

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widevibratobitch · 9 months ago

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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time #and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again #have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind #ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her #that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right #to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel #that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week #and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes #'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like #i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying #a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again #because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it #i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao #oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour #pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA

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lewyn-martell · 24 days ago

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#interview with the vampire #i just found and watched a video on youtube that is a lestat hate and rant about his fans and it was so SO cathartic #i dont even agree with everything said and was naturally at first skeptic of a youtuber's opinion #but finally FINALLY there is a louder voice of someone who can see things about this show from another point of view #even if it's a pov that's more strict than the one i use to analyze media myself #i thought i was going crazy when seeing the fan opinions surrounding this show. mostly out there but sometimes here too #like yeah with how popular loustat is i knew there would be plenty of bias for the angle that flatters it #but the things ive seen lestat & loustat fans say.... the longing for eye bleach was real #but finally someone is there to underline that hey. that very present very intentional racial and power dynamics are in fact very real.#do in fact influence the characters accordingly. and does not come out of thin air or just 'the circumstances'#it's valid to explore the other side of the coin in louis' character of course. but it doesnt mean that it's not there #mind you. all of that shit louis described? is while insisting he was not 'an abused person'#and its so satisfying to see how someone can pass all the bullshit and have the serenity of heart to recognize that #regardless of everything else. there is a reason why louis felt like lestat was a predator and he was being preyed on #that is because he largely was. lestat *was* a vampire on the hunt. an emotional vampire to boost along with the more literal sense #he might disagree to be doing that on a conscious level and he might have clear reasons to have the instincts he does. he still did that #thank you for also calling bullshit on the reunion scene dialogue and parts of the trial in how it was trying to frame certain things #its the main reason why s2 didnt fully work for me. like jesus christ.#that man literally was part of a ploy to murder their daughter. BE SERIOUS. and im supposed to be mad about armand's involvement??#i also felt so seen when he talked about how dickmatized penis delirious to the point of frustration louis is #there is so much to be grateful for. in highlighting the weight of lestat's involvement vs armand's #in talking about louis' family's side of things. expressing how people for some reason love to call armand a mastermind lying manipulator #when the first culprit of that is the blonde bitch??#honestly the irritation i feel towards many of the fans of this show and the major opinions was such #that i was feeling bad just be seeing iwtv content around and i dont wanna feel like that. i like the show so much.#this was soul clearing in a way. even if. again. i dont fully agree with everything #love how its so clear how so many people try to invoke the books when trying to dissuade him from thinking ill of lestat #because thats exactly my experience too LMAO. talk about a weak limpdick argument #and people who try to invoke unreliable narrator are not much better #and the whole story is made up from the writer's head and nothing matters! see i can do this too

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broke-on-books · 2 months ago

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Days since last cried in class: 0

#my bilingualism class is fine and good and great and easy whatever until we get to exams in which case it is hell on earth and the most #stressful thing ever and i break down #its not even that i do bad i got a 100 on the last exam and have a 100 in the class but it is just the most stressful experience ever #this time was less bad then before bc i didnt have a girl coughing in my ear and everyone talking DURING THE EXAM but it was still hell #she brought in earplugs and i took a pair of those but jesus christ #i just hate the way she writes them its confusing and shell ask for small details from fucking forever ago #like literally “what does this word mean” in a language i dont fucking speak. ok it was a spanish creole language and that was one of the #examples when we learned abt it but i got my dates mixed up and didnt study that unit and FUCK!!!!!#just supreme talent to make me feel stressed and terrible. and i think she thinks im a stressed test taker now which is not true lol im #great at tests. i only start crying when i dont know the answer lol or feel stupid #which is crazy bc i do good on her tests. just think she has the unconscious talent of writing a test that makes you feel like youre #not doing it right and are going to do horribly as you do incredibly well #or maybe im just crazy #or maybe she needs to stop fucking scheduling her exams the same day as my fucking portuguese exams theres literally 2 of them how did she #go 2 for 2 because it turns my entire morning into a study craze with pockets of exam taking and crying #and once i start im raw all day so i end up crying like 3 times before noon #anyways need to get off tumblr im burning time to cram for my port exam in 2hrs hate you all goodnight

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watery-melon-baller · 7 months ago

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once again i am frustrated because i cannot understand this when it is not at all that difficult I wanna understand it so bad please please please

#physics is kicking my ass hnggggggg #idk if this would be any easier if I had taken gen physics before this (like I was supposed to)#or if I would still be struggling #worst part is that there's nowhere I can go and ask for help #I can ask a few friends but usually they're all busy and don't have Time and also none of them live near me so it's all over text #I just don't understand like. How to set it up. And if im interpreting the word problem correctly #I've been trying to do this one problem for like. 30 minutes and I have no idea where to even begin #i am so stressed mann #im trying to watch videos and stuff that explain it but i just cannot concentrate at all today and I don't know whyyy #i am just frustrated at myself. i want to do this my brain just does not fucking wanna cooperate with me #i dunno im just bitching ig. idk wtf to do #worst part is that it's like. You use answer A to solev answer B to solve answer C and so forth #so if u fuck up somewhere then it messes up your entire thing #and like. I don't even know how to set up the fucking problem so #im just annoyed. And stressed. And bitchy #this is my only hmwk problem left and then im done #I wish my brain would work with me for five fucking minutes Jesus christ #doesn't help that I barely understood the first unit so now I'm just clueless on the second one #lilac post

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