#discourse tw

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

to 'wanting to get disorders is okay' anon: that is, actually, probably a sign of some sort of mental distress, like the idea that if you "have something", your trauma, feelings, whatever, might then be validated, and it's possible that a person like that may actually have some kind of disorder, anyway, but even if they don't, it's really not okay to fake something, and a person who does so is likely also not okay and may need other supports. if you don't feel validated externally, i think you are still validated internally by virtue of just having those feelings, and if people make you feel like you need a label to justify your existence and your struggle, then fuck 'em. that is not necessary, you are justified by your existence alone. no one should "want to" get a disorder for any reason, and as someone with some, they don't "want" that. they want— no, they need to be validated and they likely think that having a reason would make people understand, but it doesn't work that way.

people will understand you or they won't, and you can't help that. it isn't your job to somehow make yourself worthy of that. the right people will listen and understand or, even if they don't quite get it, they will try.

in this sense, people who want to make an effort actually will. it isn't always easy, but if someone cares, i think they shouldn't make you feel like you want to have a disorder. to be disordered is to be outside of understanding, often, shouting for help in a place where no one hears you, wanting someone to just listen and—guess what!—validate your existence. so many people are struggling like that, and it is not bettered by having a disorder. it makes it unnecessarily harder, actually, and is a great misconception. it's just that—or so i think—the world exists in a way that many people feel this, and when you don't have a disorder, that can lead you to thinking that it will somehow "help", and i think a lot of that is used to pit people against eachother, like this absurd idea that people with disorders DO get help, ARE listened to, because they're "special" and have "special needs", which it sort of seems is somewhat true for everyone—and by that i mean, it seems that being a person is often having to deal with un-personing and invalidation, which happens to children and then is perpetuated and pushed onto children by adults who don't learn and go on to repeat the cycle.

the assumption that disabled people somehow have more is steeped in not only ableist rhetoric, but creates a lot of division when no one really seems to feel all that "whole", which causes us to seek external worth through money or what-have-you.

assuming the disabled get more benefits from that status just makes them seem like an enemy, or, if you're struggling and not finding any help, an aspirant thing—like maybe if you're this "special" (also dehumanizing, btw) thing, you can find support, but those things seem lacking for everyone. no one "needs" a reason, though.

no one "needs" validation. everything a person needs is already inside of them, and a label might help, but...? it isn't needed to be understood—pathology is also often a tool for dehumanization. no one needs that so people will pay attention, put in effort, care. you just need to see yourself through, care about you, and find people who will, too.

Yeah I think it's perfectly understandable to desire validation and support regardless of what you're struggling with, but it is an ableist myth that being disabled actually means being validated and supported, or that disabled people have it easier than abled people

[kinnsporsche]

i've never met a fandom as cruel and mean spirited as b*ddies before. insane how someone can rt a fanvid for a ship they despise, make fun of it relentlessly despite op asking them to leave them alone, bully op into going priv, and then treat it like it's some kind of victory. and all the other buddies dgaf or call it out they're just laughing like haha guys you cant take a joke. you people are obsessed with living out your high school bully fantasies and it's disgusting. there is darkness in your souls the likes of which have only ever been found at the bottom of the mariana trench, no light could ever possibly reach the depths at which you have fallen.

[actuallyverynormalbtw]

i dont like to talk about self-diagnosis because i dont enjoy people making assumptions about me, my illnesses, and my diagnostic status. but i will say:

i have self diagnosed and gone on to be medically validated with an official diagnosis. multiple times actually. i was never wrong about my self-diagnoses.

however, i have been misdiagnosed by professionals FIVE TIMES. and let me tell you, a professional diagnosis being wrong is far more harmful than a self-diagnosis being wrong.

if your self diagnosis is wrong, maybe you used the wrong language or put yourself in a box or now feel invalid and whatnot. but if your professional diagnosis is wrong, it can lead to abuse, medical trauma, panic attacks, issues with medication, even suicide.

i was misdiagnosed with BPD when i was 15 by a psychologist that i spoke to for hardly even 10 minutes. this diagnosis was based on my parent's description of my reactions to abuse, and the diagnosis was used to validate and excuse their abuse.

i was misdiagnosed with MDD when i was 12 and put through several different types of anti-depressants. we never found anything that worked, because it was actually ADHD and dissociation, but i did end up with panic attacks and insomnia all throughout middle/highschool!

when i self-diagnosed with autism however, it saved my life. it took me out of active suicidality because i was able to finally able to accept myself after years of feeling like i am just "being a person wrong". i had the knowledge to accomodate for myself and the language to advocate for myself. this was life changing. even if i was wrong, which i wasnt, i dont see how it couldve caused any harm.

my opinions on self-diagnoses arent black and white, and im not entirely settled on them either, but i do think this is important to understand. doctors and psychologists are not all knowing. we live in a time where we can access thousands of dollars worth of university level education on the internet, even the same exact resources medical students use. plenty of people are capable of interpreting themselves and that information to come to a conclusion about what they are experiencing and what might help.

sure, self-diagnosis might be biased. but a professional is most likely going to be just as biased, and possibly less aware of it. its just silly to use bias as a primary argument when it is an inescapable feature of human psychology. there is a reason ADHD is underdiagnosed in women. there is a reason anxiety disorders are underdiagnosed in men.

an incorrect self-diagnosis wont take away resources or your space in your comminities. but professional misdiagnosis can cause real damage.

(i am not trying to fear-monger about professional diagnosis, moreso responding to the fear-mongering surrounding self-diagnosis)

[darci-tbh]

crazy when people are just so blissfully and self righteously unaware of how much it is not sunshine and roses being a trans man. absolutely insane when people say "when has a trans man ever been shunned from a space" "when has a trans man ever had to walk on eggshells for fear of being made an example of" "when has a trans man ever been/had to fear being raped/abused/abandoned/belittled/denied personhood for their transness" ME! me RIGHT HERE in my fucking real life. many many many others too. just because we're constantly silenced and infantalized and erased from the public eye doesn't mean we're not out here suffering. I'm sure it's not the same as the transfem experience. I know for a fact there's a unique kind of suffering in being in the bigots' spotlight. but you can talk loudly and angrily and righteously and exclusively about the mtf experience without slipping in a sly disgusted comment at other trans people or implying that the abuse we go through completely undetected and unacknowledged cannot exist. genuinely. stop fucking generalizing us as all little uwu discord teens with no problems in sight

[anti-terf-posts]

i’m really curious as to what “tme/tma” users get out of using those terms. do they feel like they won some kind of oppression competition when they declare themselves as tma? do they feel like cis people like them more? and what is the PURPOSE of using those terms? like genuinely when is it useful outside of discourse? i’m really curious.

[nyancrimew]

anyways not doing any further label discourse on here, how u label urself and what a label means to u is entirely up to urself and no one else and anyone who tells u otherwise can shut the fuck up like its not that deep, words inherently just mean what meaning u give to them and theyre words FOR YOU and ABOUT YOU and only u decide what u are.

[ouchiemyspine]

'cop' is new tumblr buzzword. not everyone u disagree with is a cop. u cant make a 'terf' variation for every group that excludes anyone. words have meaning. the world doesnt revolve around u

[suuho]

the entire problem with this current generation’s mindset of “we don’t need or care for idols to sing live and would rather have a great performance” or a fantasy sold, is that people do not see any value in live singing and do not care about the sincerity of live singing. they do not understand that a live-sung performance can already be a great performance, and it doesn’t need any more than that to be a great performance. they say they would rather have a fantasy conveyed through performance when the entire medium idols are using to do that is song. lyrics set to music. that has to be sung by someone, who should be able to be at least decent at the very skill at the core of their craft. absolutely insane and detached to say there is no need for that in kpop, as if this entire empire is not built around concerts, music show performances, albums and singles.

and don’t get me started on the mindset that no one is allowed to criticize idols, who are doing a very public job, as if you are not allowed to expect someone to be at least passably good at their job? that they have trained for for years? if you are a singer who cannot sing, you are in the wrong profession, point blank. become a variety performer or a tv show host or a model, then. if you are a singer who cannot sing and you refuse to improve yourself, then you are in the wrong profession, and you should not be surprised if people call you out on it.

ten, twelve years ago, groups would have members that would have never been primarily considered as vocalists, and these members would go and put in the work to improve themselves, and learn how to sing. i mean, look at 2pm. they started as a group with a focus on their athletics (with a literal counterpart debuting that was a vocal group, like) and yet, all members have steadily worked to improve as performers, as vocalists. and the hard work has paid off; they literally performed 4 hour long concerts entirely live as recent as last year. because that is part of their job description, and they are aware of that. i would rather take an imperfect but dedicated singer than one who doesn’t try to improve at all. this laziness and coasting on visuals that kpop stans excuse and eat up these days is deteriorating an entire genre, and an insult to the hard work of performers of the past who have done all the work to even allow kpop to become as big as it is now.

[tic-loud-tic-proud]

People without tics/Tourette's stop using us as pawns in the physical vs mental disability and "who can reclaim the word cripple" discourse esp when you know nothing about our lives and experiences kthx

[peachyfnaf]

btw these 3 know about whats going on. and even they're disgusted. now, the VAs have all spoken out about the harassment this group has been receiving from Shattered-Sparks, Biased-TSAMS-confessions and their supporters. The fact that they had to speak out to start with is ridiculous.

Reed’s initial statement defending the victims:

[kissingarthurclaus]

Honestly I should probably keep my mouth shut on the matter but who gives a shit I'm in a bad mood. The proshipper argument of "fiction doesn't affect reality" is not only untrue, but even if it WAS I personally think it comes down to your PERSONAL morals. Yeah, it's fiction, and yeah I think there's SOME room for nuance in the discourse. but when I see incest/pedophilia on someone's blog my morals and my ethics tells ME that it's fucking wrong and gross to see that shit proudly posted on the internet.

And the fact that you DON'T, tells me we're morally incompatible and I don't want you interacting with me in any way. That's all I need to know about you.

[kinnsporsche]

im so sorry but twitter b*ddies will just be like "im not homophobic!!!" and then [echoes alt right sentiment] [spews a take that sounds like its come directly from the mouth of a proud boy] [regurgitates early 2000s homophobia]

[pedgito]

[sluttyfoxau]

"If you're transharmed and have any kind of ego you disgust me. You are subhuman, you want to be abused, you don't deserve any kind of opinion or standard."

Ren doesn't enjoy talking without using my preferred first person pronouns but for the sake of needing everyone to be able to read this in the simplest way possible, I'm going to regress to using I/Me.

If you are TransHarmful, or support Radqueer or Transids or really just interact with this community, and you *agree* with the statement first quoted at the top of this post. Don't fucking interact with me. I don't speak on behalf of all the TransHarmed people out there, but I advocate for myself and my Harmed friends when I say, fuck you. We're not subhuman for having an identity, we deserve to have our voices heard especially when it comes to transition, we deserve to pick and choose who we are around for said transition, and we ESPECIALLY get to choose who's helping us transition to being harmed.

We're allowed to have standards, we're allowed to have boundaries, and we're allowed to not consent to being harmed despite our identities.

Some of us consent to being harmed by strangers, some want to develop relationships with their abusers, every TransHarmed is different with how they want to transition. Me personally, I want to develop an equally obsessive abusive relationship between me and the person helping me transition.

Some of us, want multiple people to help transition, others only want one person to transition. I personally want one person to help me transition.

My points are, every TransHarmed is different in how they want to be treated, some agree with your view that they're pathetic or subhuman, others don't enjoy being viewed that way. Automatically seeing someone that way, BECAUSE they identify with something is a dick move.

[anti-terf-posts]

You're a minor but you're getting involved in adult business. The rights of women everywhere are being taken away and you're helping. You're an evil child.

I'm a feminist broski. also don't you think that maybe the literal adults in power are the ones taking away rights from women? not .... a child on the internet ?

[nyancrimew]

bi ‘lesbians’ aren’t real :3

what would u do if i threw rocks at you? 🥰🥰🥰