#my irls often have me help plan stuff like this bc im good at planning if its not for myself

[storm-of-feathers]

I maintain that stress sickness is a stupid maladaptive response like oooohhh the numbers in my bank account aren't big enough so now my body is cooking itself. bruh.

[tiredestsleepiestgirl]

vent.

my partner and i r long distance. when we were getting to know each other online neither one of us wanted to be in any relationship ever but were doing like casual non monogamy irl.

we met in person and he got real weird about me talking about ppl id been regularly hooking up with and after i got back home and we made our relatinship official we also agreed to be basically monogamous. the exception being i wanted to be able to makeout with ppl drunk just 4 funsies, and even this had a lotta strings attached bc he was uncomfortable with it, i laid out that it could only be in public spaces and thered b no handsy stuff.

i wasnt a huge fan of the idea of being monogamous but i was willing to do it 4 him. i also said at the same time that i wouldnt mind if he did want to screw around a bit but he said he doubted thatd happen. cut to a like six months later and he's out clubbing and asks if im alright for him to go home with someone. i say yes thats fine and he goes home with a couple. later i say ive changed my mind and imbalance actually does make me uncomfortable and i dont want it to happen again and he says he's been thinking that he actually would be alright with me sleeping with other people while we're long distance.

now during the last six months since ive been back home we've been calling for multiple hours almost daily, first couple of months it was daily and then when i started working more itd be whenever i wasnt working so at least four days a week and on days i was working we'd still try to get in a short call. and i knew he'd get angsty when he couldnt talk to me over the weekend or if i was busy so id try not to make plans in the evenings too often. and ive been sick for like the last month so havent been able to spend time with ppl in real life. and he's been out more and more with this couple he's befriended.

and im happy for him bc he has trouble maintaining stable friendships and is often so lonely. and i was always the one that felt overwhelmed by calling so often when id had a long day at work or whatever. but now i feel. jarringly alone. and also like the only reason im allowed to sleep around now is bc he's find someone he wants to fuck and the second that changes itll b back to monogamy.

i care for him so much i want to hold him and protect him and i want him to be able to find friendship and community but god it sucks that im just stuck here in bed or at working just waiting for when he'll be able to give me attention again. im happy he's making friends and spending time with them i really want that for him. everything he's doing is stuff i want for him.

but also im out here working 5-7 shifts a week. to help pay for his visit in august. and our future visa costs. and waiting on him. and when would i even find time to sleep around. sunday night i was lying in bed after working my least favourite shift on the week on three hours of sleep and my chest rattling from my stupid chest infection and i knew he was out with his new friends so i didnt bother him.

monday another shift but he was barely replying to my messages all day even whenni said i was worried and didnt know if he was okay and then find out the next day that ofc he slept over on sunday night and spent monday with them. weve talked about that and he said hell tell me when he has plans but even that makes me feel so desperate and needy that's not my usual vibe. im just. ugh.

anyway he's just asked if he can spend the day hanging out with them today, my freeest day to talk of the week. and im a cool girl. i said im so glad ur having such a good time. im so glad u have friends and r working out (theyre going climbing), i hope ull be back in the evening for me? yesyes probably maybe? probably i will have him back with me tonight. coolcoolcoolcool. im gonna be working the next three days str8. the weekends r so busy for me. 4 shifts in 3 days baby. ill miss u ill miss u.

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕��💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[thecasinowolf]

A character that could be very important to Undertronic

Hello Tumblrtronic My name is Aaron, a native american male from th oneida tribe (or, adopted into it at least) And you may know me as that mf who constantly says shit like “i hate white ppl” and “seris is native change my mind” And you know, you might be thinking “Aaron If Seris, or ANY UT character is native, how would we POSSIBLY know??” Thank u for asking Today I’m going to be talking abt how the idea of a native character could be applied to Undertronic See, in most media When we’re introduced to a native american character, we often see shit like this

“Now, Aaron, how can we possibly subtly hint that an Undertronic character would be native? I mean, no one’s race is specified why does it matter??” Thank u for asking Well first of all Calling attention to the Akshemhat boys for a second, We see that certain cultures can very easily be snuck into our beloved webcomic First, let’s talk about the way u can make a native character in a modern setting w/ out doing this:

So before we get into the futuristic look of Undertronic, let’s talk abt doing things w more present day designs When I design characters, I tend to add little subtle signs to their character designs Some examples, My oc Theo, he looks black, but he’s actually mixed. To hint this, I gave him a few traditional face tattoos and a dream catcher necklace For my danganronpa OC Barrett, I added the Iroquois confederacy flag to the back of his hoodie (this is the symbol for reference)

For my MyStreet persona, Aaron, he often wears native print clothing and native accessories, like these

“BUT Aaron” I hear you cry “Undertronic characters would not wear these things, HOW would you implement these things into ut character designs??” I am Glad u asked But stop interrupting me god The simple answer is: I don’t think any main characters could wear something like this in the undertronic setting So I propose a more minor character that could tie into some things Tumblrtronic, I present to you:

Chief Atu:nyote Ala:sek, or Chief Eagle Elderberry He’s an eagle :> much like how Thanos and Hypnos are owls Hez a birb!! I could not find any good greek god names for him but we have Xephyr and Hex theres not no gods named tht shit ANYWAYS He’s a chief Where does that fit in to the Undertronic universe? Simple. We have Cerberus, a high hangu Triton, Hypnos, and Thanos, who are hangus And then we can have chiefs, below the power of hangus, but still rule over their tribes Tribes aren’t separate factions on their own, they’re under the rule of hangus and reside in those respective factions For this example, let’s say Atu is the Chief of the Ohnakʌhsa̲’ tribe in whatever the fuck triton’s place is called i forgot Its like aquarian or smth Anyways I think a character like Atu could be discreetly placed somewhere minor into the story and still be obvious tht theres a culture behind him and characters in relation to him “But Aaron,” You cry once more “What about OTHER cultures? What about OTHER races and ethnicities?? What about THEM Aaron?? Ur not SPECIAL” Wow tht was very rude, But, I hear your cries. Let me offer some other things. I’ve made some places that are based on irl places Much like how Akhsemhat and its residents r based on egypt and egyptian culture Chochin - A place based on japan Daeyang - Korea based Huopo - china based Afortunado - mexico based and you know thats as far as ive gotten in terms of planning LISTEN these are literally concepts i made in my head on the way to walmart u think this shit is fleshed out BUT BASICALLY I think adding places like these and concepts such as chiefs could help Undertronic avoid pulling a Homestuck and making the characters “aracial” or “racially ambiguous” bc Shara is the ONLY white person i trust and im not letting her fall victim 2 tht shit i actually dont know what race shara is so in case shes not yt tht was a joke queen ur not white ily But yea these are some ut concepts i came up w for fun i might make more but yea also to clarify me saying rude stuff to and about white ppl is all a joke i dont hate anyone no matter what race unless theyre a shit person then fuk u thank u for coming 2 my ted talk gnight my lovelies

[augujerdeer]

Can you share some random facts about yourselves? :3

Huh, sure! So I thought maybe everyone can type out their own thing besides us writing for them, so it’ll be fun! If it takes a while to answer now you know why - Peter

Peter

I’m a big fan of iron man I GUESS but that might be obvious??

I can’t help but call people Miss or Mister and it just feels super wrong not to unless they tell me they really don’t want me doing that (so I kind of slip up at front...)

I actually have a Benjamin in my name- I don’t know if that’s different from my source?

I like doodling! Even if it’s not great

Apparently, an IRL friend told us that they know it’s me at front because my voice is more boyish and I move my hands a lot when I’m discussing something Im really into! (math or science!)

Post-endgame :^(

In charge of the math n science parts of school!!!!!

Kris

Described as “talks like a surfer dude sometimes”

I NEVER stop talking like- I’m sure every1 calls me annying GSGGSDHDJJ. Like if ur gnna b my friend get rdy 4 me 2 y’all a LOT.....,,,

Ab- abandonment issues lol

I’m so gay (bi) im yeARNiNg

When the sys needs 2 b physclly active or social my “job” is 2 come out- but I’m not forced 2 ! I just get laaazeeey

In charge of the art classes n PE UWU

I’m also sometimes called plan B but I don’t like being that HSGSHE (see Sal)

I like learning ASL!! Except I don’t live in America SO I’m also trying 2 study FSL (Filipino sign language) n it seems so FUN N FAST AAAA

I wanted 2 study ASL bc som1 suggested 2 me that mayb I cld learn sign language bc b4, I used 2 h8 talking, n I was super shy n very NONVERBAL like, a lot

Chara

They have a very strict aura, described by friends- it’s a dark presence or aura, especially because of their posture and how they talk (which is exactly how they type!)

We’re not sure why, but because of how they formally talk, they start slipping into a sort of formal-British-accent while speaking sometimes even if they don’t have one inspace

Gatekeeper n protector! Butvthey cna exhaust themselves sm that fun factvthey collapse or fall face first in2 the floor n pass out inspace

They have a few negative fronting triggers but 1 of them is rlly sad n INSTANT like, we do not have a choice, but e can’t stop it, if that trigger appears, Chara w/o fail comes out :^( (luckily it’s never happened often but we r worried abt ppl pulling pranks n doing this bc it’s a common prank 2 do)

Sal

He has a hard time walking outsoace unless he focuses rlly hard or wear heels

Which also means when he front his vision is slightly impaired?? He is missing an eye so I g the body dissociates enough 2 ALMOST simul8 that???? He has crashed in 2 so many poles or stopped walking bc he think hes gnna crash in2 smth but turns out it’s rlly far away

He age slides from 15-22! He’s not canon dIvergent— I think none on us r actlly

In charge of art classes part 2

Some of us call Sal Plan B bc if he whole main circle is not ok, he’s the person in the main circle who takes up “temporary host” (so if me n Chara or peter aren’t arnd - Kris)

Is rlly self conscious abt his face even when in the body but he’s working on it!! He’d rather not eat in public bc is wld mean removing the face mask he will wear 2 school

We cosplayed as him 4 Halloween 2 school n he was out all day n had fun :^)

Crowley

He has a flat inspace but we’re not allwd 2 c it?? We don’t kno where itbis but we WNNA find it

He’s POST good omens so he has memories of stuff that happened after the show ended (the brain likes writing edgy fanfics :^( ) (it’s a sensitive subject for him but when he talks abt it he tries 2 and chill when he’s not)

Adopted peter n he hates admitting it but he’s 1 of peters dads now n even calls peter son by acc

When he fronts he used 2 gave a strong accent that the body makes t and like a RLLY bad copy of an English acc Jbshsbsnbssbjssh butbhes gotten better!!

Toriel

Her fronting trigger turns it 2 b caring 4 ppl outside! She c’s every1 as younger than her so she aitomaticlly adopts them

She’s mid-Undertale! She’s NOT my canonmate (I’m kris Deltarune) she’s litrlly Chara’s canonmate but from an earlier period (Chara is post post post post infinity Undertale genocide on a loop)

Spinel

She actlly RLLY does have 2-3 forms (happy Spinel, and angry Spinel- when she’s in the middles she’s in angry form but like not yelling sgafgssg) her happy Spinel form/mode is her w the heart hair from the pat n her angry form is her in the ending w the crying mascara n stuff

She’s post-movie so she has vague memories of being in home world w the diamonds

Jamie

is sometimes just her furry inspace,,,, is uslly her fursona inspace,,,,

Jade

Apparently she’s from 2014??????????????????????

She has a past life n her bro actlly came a month after she “came back from dormancy”

It’s rlly weird n even she dsnt understand

Toby

Rlly strong English accent when fronting :^( has never done it more than once but inspace his accent is very baby and very strong

Aco

We dk y but he considers himself a protector 2 where he even comes out when he thinks we r in specific types of danger :^(

He’s nonverbal in front but talkative inside!!! He has a face plush which is a webkinz!

[euphoriecs]

11/11/11 tag !!!

thank u sm for tagging me @yikescomma​, @buckaroowrites​ nd @yikeskimi​ !!!

rules: answer 11 questions, write your own 11, tag 11 people !

under the cut bc its a Lotta questions KSKSKSHK

yikescomma’s questions!!

1. what’s your favourite place to write?

oh this is ?? kind of a tough one bc i feel like i never Branched out in my spaces when it comes 2 being productive,, like a lot of my work is done in my bedroom just bc my desk is there and it’s the most convenient,,,, honestly im jus gonna say my favorite place to write would be from . my desk . bc it faces the window :-)

2. which character(s) from your wip(s) is your favourite?

since i only have wtsf confidently worked out ,, i’ll use those ocs !! but i think , quite Honestlie ,,, that wendy is my favorite character !! im rly in love with how she progresses as a person nd also she’s jsut . she gets it u know .

3. what are some inspirations for your wip(s)?

I TALKED ABT THIS BEFORE but b/ts’ hyyh series, my neighborhood, spring day by b/ts are a few inspirations for wtsf !!! 

4. how did you start writing?

my dad got me hooked on reading when i was really really young !! and being able to read abt all these huge worlds nd being given an opportunity 2 fall in love w them rly inspired me to want to write worlds of my own . plus , i watch a lot of different shows nd animes that feed into my daydreams nd sometimes im like ‘yo,,, that was a good daydream,,,,, time 2 story it’ .

5. which of your ocs is most difficult to write?

uHGHHGHGS ARTHUR ...... trying to capture this like . enigmatic feeling while keeping close 2 his reasons for acting That way is actually ,, rly hard?? hes a tough cookie 2 crack but i will crack it .

6. what aesthetic do you associate with your wip(s)?

for wtsf ,,, quiet towns , lonely beaches , sunset nd sunrise ,,, running through the streets ?? 

7. do you like planning?

YEA !! i see it more as like . being able to explore ur wip and what directions it can take nd its also jsut rly helpful to have a solid foundation .

8. what is your favourite quote from your wip(s)?

i pulled this from my drabbles but: “Slow down.” Wendy grabbed Arthur’s wrist, pulling him down to sit on the sand. “This world can’t keep up with you.”

9. do you like to listen to music while you write?

yes and no ?? im very particular to the kind of music im listening to nd more often than not, i write in complete silence ,,, but sometimes i’ll find a song that i feel rly fits the vibe of what im writing nd i just put it on repeat HGSHJK

10. what do you like most about your own writing?

i think i like the descriptive aspects of it ?? like how i describe places nd feelings ,,,, :-) !

11. what are/were/would be your ocs favourite subjects in school?

everyone except piper in wtsf is graduated from high school but ,, wendy liked english class the best bc it was fun nd she got good grades !! rafael definitely loved psychology nd took it at an ap level ,, arthur liked math nd chemistry .. chemistry he liked More bc he got 2 blow stuff up SKKSKSEH and piper likes world history!! tho shes not good at it . but she likes it!!

buckaroowrites’ questions!!

what is your favorite subgenre to write? to read?

i lov urban fantasy and low fantasy JGHDSHGJKS like its my favorite to write nd read bc like .. o heck ?? ghosts nd ghouls nd just overall supernatural stuff irl ?? that’s the way 2 go

if you had to be trapped on a desert island with any of your ocs, who would it be and why?

if i had 2 be trapped on a desert island ...... i’d probably choose rafael . honestlie he just seems like he always knows what’s up nd my chances of survival would increase w him JHGJKSJKS

what is your favorite medium to write?

definitely novels !! its a format i’ve pretty much grown up w and im more comfortable w this medium than any others GHSHJKS but i’d love to explore like ,, screenplays nd see where that takes me

who was your first oc?

HYLLY SHITTTT THIS BRINGS ME BACK SJHJHJGJKS i used to draw a lot back when i was younger nd so i had this oc JHJS his name was ian and he was meant for the maximum ride universe but he was a dumb dude who was 2% cat . nd he had an adopted sister ,, i forgot her name but she was part bird .

what was your first wip about?

world end club is supposed 2 be abt a group of teens who work together 2 take down a corporation that wants 2 essentially control the artificial island they live on thru engineered soldiers . ITS A CONCEPT ,, nd it requires a little Too Much for my one brain cell to think abt

thoughts on shakespeare?

uhhh no thots bc i never read his work in high school i jus know macbeth is cursed .... wow i rly dont know anything abt shakespeare huh .

poetry or prose?

o this is TOUGH i rly adore both .......... im gonna . im gonna go w prose . i lvoe poetry so much sometimes there are lines that just rly fucken punch u in the face but im gonna go w prose bc its familiar !!

would you ever co-write a story?

nO ..... i wouldnt b able 2 compromise i’d jus b like oH ACTUALLY SKSKKS MY IDEA’S DUMB LETS JUST DO URS 

write what you want to write or write what you want to read/watch?

oh . fuc .... i feel like its important to have a good balance of both but . honestlie im very partial to what i want to read/watch ..

do you like to write violence?

i dont Like 2 write it but its In My Wips !

what is your favorite trope?

oH ,, probably ‘fire forged friends’ or like . mutual pining ... i have too many favorite tropes nd somehow im gonna incorporate them all .

yikeskimi’s questions!!

Tell us about the main character(s) in your current WIP!

oKAY SO im gonna try to not make this too long SJKHJGS !! wendy is a very like . prickly character . shes like a cactus . nd she’s not too fond of letting ppl get close, but the ppl who do manage to get close to her are happie 2 learn she would actually die for them . loyalty is a Huge Huge part of her character, and she cares very deeply abt the people she calls family . shes also v sarcastic nd like . ‘open ur eyes dummy’ .

arthur is a kind of person who lives heavily on false pretenses . like he projects this image bc its an image that he can control nd he jsut Rolls w it , but hes actually someone who likes 2 tease his friends nd be friendly to them ,, hes got Issuez nd is very much the type of person to be like ‘o lol im ok :-)...’ nd prioritize the needs of others 

rafael is , in all honesty , just babey . he studied a lot during high school nd rly pushed himself beyond his limits bc he wants to be able 2 go 2 a good college on scholarship nd get a job 2 support his family , nd hes just ?? very responsible nd sweet but that can also manifest into him taking on more than he should nd burning out . 

piper is a very ,, honestlie kinda sad character kjHGJSJ she spends a lot of time just trying 2 appeal to other ppl bc she knows her interest in the supernatural make her a ‘weird’ person nd she wants to be able 2 have real friends ,, but when she learns 2 let go of this she’s very silly nd always making jokes During The Right time ..

Do you have an all time favorite OC? Tell us about them!

hMMMM i dont think i do ??? my memory of my ocs is rly bad JHSJ so more often than not i just ,, rip i dont remember them </3

If you could be best friends with one of your OCs, who would it be and why?

ms piper chaiyathan !!!! shes a very open nd kind individual nd i feel like our humor nd joking style would match V v v well !!!

Last line you’ve written in your WIP?

Wendy, unlike her brothers Adam and Nate, had inherited her father’s rough touch, and that made them both unwanted in the high stakes setting of a diner kitchen.

If you have a chosen title for your WIP, were there any titles you considered before it? And if not, what are some titles you’re thinking of?

when the sun falls went through SO many titles nd i actually have them all here: where the sun goes / fever dreams / above the sun / where the sun follows / the drowned sun ... as u can see the sun was smth i Needed .

What is an important element in the world your WIP takes place in?

uHHHH the supernatural element is . Very important but i cant be too specific about it but i will tell u it involves a dead tree on the beach .

Tell us an out of context spoiler.

arthur gets a cool new set of eyes.

Any power couples/ships in your WIP?

wendy nd arthur babey ,,,,,, bat nd molotov cocktail duo ,,,, last name central until the important moment nd THEN they use each other’s first names ..

Any music you like listening to while you write?

uHHHH specifically for wtsf i listen 2 a lot of hozier, lorde, conan gray, khalid nd halsey :-)

What would your main character(s) favorite song be?

oH okay i got this in the BAG ... wendy’s favorite song would Absolutely be work place by hozier or more than sorrow by a-lin ,,, arthur would definitely b listening 2 like . free spirit by khalid .. piper, since she p much spent all of middle school nd 2 years of high school in thailand ,, i think she’

Which character in your WIP could you relate to the most?

honestly? all of them !!! a lot of the characters in wtsf have little bits nd pieces of me bc thats how all my ocs come into existence nd theres no One character thats like “oh,,, das me”

and here are my 11 questions !!

Which one of your OCs do you think could survive a zombie apocalypse? Why?

What’s something you’ve been itching to write about?

Share the last paragraph you wrote!

Do you prefer coming up with plots or characters? Why?

Do you have any abandoned WIPs? Tell us about them!

What are some favorite themes/tropes to write about?

How do you get into the zone for writing?

Tell us a random fact for any of your OCs !!!

Are you someone who needs a visual for your WIPs?

What are some influences to your writing style?

If you had to be a character in one of your WIPs, which WIP would it be and what role would you play?

i’m gonna tag @babyreeds @holotones @alejandroistyping @noloumna @faerisms @omniawrites @aslanwrites @ashesconstellation @thegrievingyoung @glittcrpeach @syposium !!! no pressure to do it if u dont want to tho <3

[mikiruma]

okay i'm snapping what the hell is saints row about. who's the dude with the giant titties you keep thirsting over and who's the mcdonalds emo. i need some answers bc i don't know shit.

ill edit this w a readmore bc it got Very wordy and im on mobile but i promise you. this series is a mess, i live for it, i could go ON abt it for days but this response was long enough fhwkfhejhfnd

1) so basically the premise in most of the games is like. you are a member (leader as of sr2) of a street gang (the third street saints!) and though the story is tweaked slightly for each installment, the overall goal is the same- control different neighborhoods in your city, squash the other gangs, be badass. i *call* it a grand theft auto clone but tbh i havent played gta, the gameplay's similar enough though. the first two games are more uhh... grounded? than the later 3? the plotlines are darker, deaths & events are more fucked up in a heavier/moral sense, etc etc. but the last 3 are way more silly i think. the entire series is kinda packed with crude/sexual humour and essentially responding to a punch with a flamethrower, but it goes over the top in the newer games which is.. why i always liked em lol.

but its just funny in general to think of the plot progression. oh i witness a gang war so im recruited in a gang whose current leader... wants to end gang violence. oh that leader tried to kill me and arrested/killed everyone else so i am going to go apeshit on this city until i find him and kill him back. oh somehow we are international celebrities and do crime as publicity stunts, i am gonna ask mayor burt reynolds to help us with this zombie invasion. oh now i am president of the united states, time to get the earth blown up by an alien warlord and do it with whats left of my gang every survivor plus an ai in a ball.

ive seen Some Shit abt the general timeline but tbh ive always tried to piece it together like. ok these games take place in/around whatever year they were released. besides sr4 which would be... 2019 if my math is correct? i just felt like mentioning that bc i am not touching any canon timeline

OH ALSO the main reason i even got into the series. i literally bought sr3 because of the character customization. the body mods could.... use a lot of work imo but what you can do for your protags face is BANANAS... and changing voice pitch in sr4 was fun too bc male 1 was ok for my boss but having it just a teensy bit higher REALLY made it

tldr; i cant help you there i am just along for this ride

2) im assuming you mean johnny gat not bc theres any competition but like. theres so many dudes like that in this game

his role is actually pretty consistent in that he stays a lieutenant, and hes one of the rare characters (besides. the protag i think?) who's been in every single game. he's the designated badass of the saints and is really good at coming up with plans that involve lots of guns or blowing stuff up. if i typed everything i liked abt him right now this post would be a mile long but trust me he is an excellent man, even tho he might be the scariest motherfucker ever and i probably would be afraid of him irl, he fully deserves that. hes loyal to the saints and his boss which i absolutely respect. still bitter abt sr3 "killing" him bc cmon. he cannot die. does that count in the spoiler? its the literal first mission after u customize your character so i dont think so// whatever ive been posting untagged spoilers for the other games bc theyve been out for a decade

3) IM STILL LOSING MY MIND OVER THAT SJSDHADDHSI mcdonalds emo.... thats his legal name now....

but seriously matt miller is like. one of my fav characters from sr3. he's the leader of one of the rival gangs, the deckers, and they specialize in hacking & money laundering and stuff like that. matt specifically is 16 in his debut game which is really funny to learn bc imagine being a ballsy ass kid repeatedly nae naeing the us government because you can.

anyway i like him bc instead of killing the other gang leaders like usual, u just fight him in a vr world and ur both sick ass dragons and he decides "actually i dont wanna go brain dead. ill give u either weapons or car discounts" then he fucks off back to england. then it lets him come back for sr4 and yall are friends now :D yes yall tried to kill each other but whats past is past. i would be his friend irl honestly hes great. also im still firm on the autistic matt train bc of how often he shares his love for nyte blayde & im WEAK over the boss eventually getting into it as well

[gg-astrology]

Could you do a post on Aries sun + Aquarius moon? Only if you want to though! - ✨

Hey there!!! 💕💕💕💕 Aaaah yes I want to!! 💕💕 Thank u for waiting!! 💕💕

[Below Cut: Aries Sun - Aquarius Moon 🌅 ]

They’re so dynamic internally, like phew! and it shows outside sometimes as well

Lots of mental energy that’s characteristic in them. They often have a clear sight-vision and that Aries helps narrow the mental energy into tunnel, push out that bzzz bzzz into a direction to move forward with/get going!

Lots of practicality but like--- grounded in the material world you know? They’re the type of person who would be good at writing directions on wikihow if they ever find a purpose in it for them 

Trying to relate to them through creativity/vague stuff is impossible, although they’re highly imaginative-- most of that is centered around the material world/things they can think/see and not in complete fantasy. 

One of those people who seems (to others) that they are aware of their resources, their senses and their action directs/impacts the context of the situation directly (great sense-of self) 

These people in life generally has more executive functions than most others do, although they can rarely appreciate this because they’re them. Others look to them with lots of admiration and also a slight bit of intimidation bc they can seem so flawless irl. 

Since they can have little to no problem putting their brain to work (figure things out) and then using that to get actual results/function properly-- that’s the power they hold that others don’t (surprise?!) and it’s something they’re not consciously aware of as a gift/blessing to them because--- well, they don’t know what it’s like to be fully internal/emotionally sometimes. 

They don’t do things carelessly, or rather they won’t start on it until their brain works out everything you know?

Like that’s their gate-way, that’s their pre-caution. ‘Aquarius bzzz bzzzz’ is the main energy these people tends to exude. Especially since after ‘Aquarius bzzz bzzz’ works itself out, Aries takes action (according to plan, all the heavy-loading is in Aquarius– Aries just supports it)

However, this lends itself to you being a bit tunnel-visioned and on occasion, your Aquarius serves as part of your anxiety (because Aries is just waiting for a command) 

Your Aquarius is like your ‘center’ now– so everything that comes out of it can take some time waiting for you. To figure it out yourself (exhausting, fatigue, you need to rest too because you’re putting so much dependence on Aquarius and it can’t DO everything for you)

You’re so speedy because of this, but at the same time things that are ‘backed up’ or in the ‘cue’ to get figured out takes longer because of your– y know, normal bodily needs as well (such as rest, wait, time, things you can’t control/direct yourself)

You have great sense of intuition though, this isn’t ‘felt’ so much like the water signs. But it’s ‘given to you’ for you to use because of your Aries/Aquarius combination

It helps as part of your ‘resources’– like an advice from friend, you’re quite decisive and may not like going back on yourself. But this would also mean you may lack a lil flexibility because your brain gets a whiplash trying to flow back to what you did/how you got there and why you made said decisions sometimes (hard time remember the experience/process you went through, kinda like water trying to flow up instead of down) 

Mmm because you’re very ‘forward’ vision and movement tho, it makes other people see you as straight-forward. Very focused and trail blazing too. 

When I say trail blazing i mean it like—-you like exploring/making your own path to an extent, but it has to have a purpose for it. Like something that you have to do and this is how you figure it out so you just do it. And then you only realized ‘oh it’s different from the norm’ later.

It’s unexpected even for yourself, but you generally tend to not dwell too much on it. Looking for other things you can do/explore instead.

You can also get kinda moody, just because Aries is waiting for commands doesn’t mean it doesn’t get impatient. Sometimes you’re moody at yourself, not at others for taking so long to do something. (The pace you normally go it is fast, so this frustration is like— you’re not keeping to the usual tempo/pattern and it frustrates you)

Sometimes you’re moody at others, mostly because they’re not ‘doing it right/taking action/looking out for themselves’

Especially those who has a harder time ‘doing things in general’ (im thinking about Pisces or Virgo) sometimes you just want to grab their hands and just use it for them to show them how. Because you think ‘oh if it’s just doing then why not?’ and want to sometimes do it for them (even if you generally don’t try to bc they ‘have to learn it themselves’) 

The thing with ‘pace/tempo’ however, is that it compromises you a lot. Not just personally but like– with others as well.

You might notice that you don’t like things being ‘out of tempo/pace’ and you tend to get emotionally frustrated because of it. Learn– how to ‘listen’ to others and accept them.

Listening doesn’t mean constantly thinking/comparing it to yourself and a checkbox of ‘nah that’s not me it doesn’t apply/cant relate’ – listening means being open, tolerant and just as equal as others when it comes to learning about their experience.

You may pride yourself in being humanitarian, but you should also learn how to be open-hearted and not just open-mind. Being open-hearted will actually teach you how to not be bias, and will help you grow into a more compassionate and maybe less detached/autonomous person.

Aaaah you might also realize you’re very very individualistic. Like you need that space, to work and do things for yourself. This is amazing and good! because you do work at a faster pace/can get productive things done without others. 

But it’ll weigh on your social skills and interpersonal behaviour– since you’d put yourself first before others sometimes (like with personal relationships/close friends— sometimes you gotta listen to them/be there for them first instead of letting your own excitement/emotionality slide onto them/weigh them down in the relationship y know. Equalize, the give and taking. Not just what you ‘can give’ to them– but learn how to be there for them in the way that they are too. You can adapt, you just gotta change your mindset a lil)

If you ever get grumpy/angry —you might notice that your anger goes away pretty quickly while your grumpy does not. The thing between these two is balance. While your anger my go away, it doesn’t solve the long term problem of it flaring up pretty quickly and making you ‘explode’ sometimes (*depends on the person if it does) try to understand it and resolve the issue. Like whether it’s you personally or the situation/others. If it’s in the others/context, you might want to evaluate and think about a different perspective in yourself.

Grumpy emotion is mostly (like I said) your Aquarius Moon feeling blocked. So try to find some friends to help smooth that over, or maybe other air friends who can help you resolve it. You just gotta need to balance, and try not to be so focused on pacing yourself (to make up for your ‘unpredictability’ outward persona as well, try not to keep ‘constrains’ on yourself on which side does what (external/internal) because then— it becomes your ‘ultimatum’ and that’s the whole cause of your moods and explosion/inflexibility internally/emotionally)   

I hope u enjoy??;; 💕💕💕 thanks for dropping by!!! 💕💕💕

[omnirush]

— — R E M N A N T

An RP blog for Rush Sykes of The Last Remnant, but adapted for the FFXIV world!

Brief guidelines:

hewwo!! call me termi (25+, any pronouns)

am a filthy multishipper hehehe

also jk watch this be a multimuse blog for all the tlr characters i can convert to ffxiv

not spoiler free, will try to tag ew spoilers where necessary!

i am v bad at rmbering all ffxiv lore but i will do my best ljaflksjf

i tag 'trigger tw' for any sensitive content!

i have a busy irl and other commitments! bc of this is i am naturally very slow and will take random hiatus’!

main rp partner is @echobled​ so replies to their muses tend to be prioritized!

feel free to turn any prompt u sent into a thread!

pls don’t rush me into replying to things or remind me in any way ;w ; this is a hobby for me and i tend to withdraw and get slower if i feel stressed fjlkdjsg

i do drop threads quite a lot; this is just to keep drafts from getting bloated. the reasons range from not knowing how to respond, not having the muse for it, it was a casual thread, or feeling like our muses’ relationship has progressed past that in other threads! it’s nothing personal at all, and i’m always happy to initiate new stuff!!

^ that being said, i tend to keep drafts if its the only one we have between our muses and/or we have anything planned for it!

NEW FOLLOWERS: unfortunately im reaching the limit on the threads/rp partners i can take T__T i can do small things (like one-liners to paras) and send prompts/meme in etc., though! I also follow bc i like meeting new ppl, sending in hc questions, and learning more about their ocs so if there’s a lack of ic interaction on my end, its bc of this >< i’m very sorry!

Biography:

Age: appears mid-20s Gender: male Orientation: biromantic, demisexual Eye colour: brown Hair colour: black Skin colour: fair Height: 183cm (6′) Notable features: Green markings under his left eye, a deep scar from a stab just left of his chest (shy of his heart), jagged scars on his upper back, a few scars on his left outer thigh. Job: Paladin (abilities similar up to lvl 80) Alignment: neutral good

Brief history:

Amnesiac and lost and far from his homeland, Rush was taken under the wings of Marina and John Sykes, a pair of hyuran researchers based in Sharlayan.

A few years later, Marina had Irina Sykes, a young girl gifted with the power of the Echo, discovered at age 10.

Knowing the bare minimal amount of the Echo, Marina and John decide to join the Students of Baldesion, dedicating their research efforts to help their daughter, but in doing so neglect them both.

The disappearance of the Isle of Val brought Irina and Rush closer together in fear of having lost their parents.

Rush and Irina struggle for a while. Rush takes on odd jobs and eventually takes up the gladiator class and does his best to master it, carrying on to become a free paladin.

Later, they find out more about why the Isle of Val falls. Their parents unfortunately perished during such events.

Irina decides to remain in Old Sharlayan to carry on their parents' research where it left off. She works on becoming knowledgeable about aether and the Echo, and becoming proficient with her blade. She’s given the mark of an Archon shortly into Shadowbringers, She later joins the Scions of the Seventh Dawn just at the beginning of Endwalker.

Rush decides to explore and help those in need. He is often found at major battles, trying to save and help as many people as possible.

Stormblood onwards:

These events are liable to be a bad ending :))) Mostly bc Rush's canon in TLR is tragic and i love angst lkjaklsjf. happy to discuss this stuff further as a plot owowo i wont force this on any rp partner tho if tragedy is not ur jam!

Reeling from the loss of his parents, Rush doesn’t take kindly to Krile, a close family friend, being kidnapped by Garleans. He... basically tries to run in there recklessly and stupidly to try rescue her but ends up getting experimented on with the Resonant. However, his very nature rejects it and as a result he almost dies from it.

Volunteered with the Ala Mhigan Resistance with the Masks. However was later betrayed by 'The Griffin', wherein many of his friends were sacrificed to bring forth Shinryu. Was only saved from this because he was stationed elsewhere like a handful of others. Stayed for a long time afterwards to aiding any civilians caught in the crossfire.

Aided in the Bozjan Resistance and was recruited into Gunnhildr's Blades for his high combat skills as a paladin and leadership aptitude. After Misija's betrayal, Rush sought to save her, having considered her a dear comrade. He ultimately fails but is spared. After, he is too injured and distraught to aid with Misija's capture.

He joins Ilsabard's Contingent to travel to Garlemald. As an experienced soldier, his rank allows him his own squadron, with which he is ordered to help any Garlean refugees and lend aid where possible. He aids in the effort of transporting the group of refugees to use the lunar teleporter by request of Fourchenault. He meets his end by the monsters that attack them, valiantly attempting to save the refugees under his care.

... Or is he ded :eyes:

In line with his TLR canon, he'll probably come back in some way, but if he does then he will come back wrong in some way. That just remains to be seen owowowo

Nothing is completely fixed, though. Happy to change things up for plot-related stuff :D ty for reading this far ajsflsalkfj

OTHER:

Irina Sykes

Age: 24 Gender: female Orientation: bisexual Eye colour: brown Hair colour: brown Skin colour: fair Height: 163cm (5′3) Notable Features: tattoo just under her left ear Job: Samurai (abilities similar up to lvl 80), Sage (lvl 70) — progresses during msq

Smol notes about her:

acquires her Archon tattoo during Shadowbringers

joins the Scions of the Seventh Dawn at the start of Endwalker

often seen around Old Sharlayan’s library as a dedicated scholar carrying on her parents’ work

Kratos (the Ancient Rush is a shard of!)

Gender: cis male Orientation: pansexual Eye colour: pale emerald Hair colour: black/very dark green Skin colour: brown Job: PLD (DRG secondary)

Smol notes about him:

younger brother of Hermes (default; i won’t force this on any hermes rpers tho!)

a serious type; duty before love. rather callous. headstrong and stubborn. workaholic.

worked under Pashtarot in some. well-respected leadership position who knows lkjasklfj

OTHER BLOGS: @fxrtunas, @chacss​​

[threeracha]

in honor of earth day tomorrow, who are your top 10 closest human friends (both irl and mutuals combined) and how have they inspired you??? 🌎💕🤧

IN HONOR OF EARTH DAY LDFMSOF OMG thank u for sending this ;_____;

hHH ok ok ok i totally got emo during this but like ig im more emo than i thought 🤑✊🏻im literally that one dude crying but posing still 😩

1. my IRL BEST FRIEND is my fav person ever she’s like the only irl i have that actually wants to keep in contact w me like forever 😩 legit in 7th grade she told me she had a dream she died and was crying bc she wasn’t sure if we’d be in the afterlife together LFMAOFOAOOFO we have out entire lives planned like if our s/o’s don’t comply they’re canned, no exceptions :// i think she inspires me to be me bc she’s the only person im comfortable being myself w :( but she also inspires me to not get into a relationship bc she’s super soft and doesn’t know how to take a firm stand on anything LMFAOOO im Boutta save her from The Monster that is her bf dwdwdw *sideeyes* jk im also weak how do i handle This

2. ariane : one of my longest w1 mutuals

3. rissa : she’s so nice and says good morning Everyday even tho i die off for literal Weeks ;;;; idk what i did to deserve a sunshine even tho im the only person she ever roasts it’s?? totally fine she inspires me to be nice n cherish friends n roast them w love :(

3. tina : like one of my og wives 💓💞💖💕tina is super soft like SUPER soft n inspires me to be down-to-earth, she definitely is one to emphasize self-care nd i rlly like that ✨

4. mae ; other half of the og wives😩 mae is so strong :( like she may deal w the Biggest problems in her everyday life but is still? always being a sunshine :((((((( if only i could not cry as often abt deffo less traumatic experiences LFMODSF

5. aurora : my coldhearted mother that actually is super tsun :( she’s super blunt and straight to hte point like a very No Bullshit Zone w aurora which is scary but also admirable in terms of getting things to be done the way i want,,, i just gotta channel my inner aurora :””””)

6. one of my closest friends in school (bc my bff and i live like an hr away from each other :/) is my rIDE OR DIE nd my school bff!! ;; she deffo has like Everything in life stacked against her but she works so hard in school and like actual work which i could Never do nd it’s super inspiring for me to think about all she has to do keep up in life whereas i don’t have to and still complain abt stuff a lot ;;; SLDFJLSKJF wow im getting emo abt my friends rn tbh LAHAHHAHHA

7. idek if this is lameass but my mother is one of my best friends? LFMAOFOOA she and i spend one day a week together w/ just the two of us nd sometimes im like :/// abt it but ik she just wants the best for me by taking a break from school nd all that and like tbh i dont think i’ll be a mom when i’m older but she’s a gr8 mom and is prob the biggest reason for me to want to work w kids when im older :”””)

8. karen!!!! y’all prob alr kno how much i love karen :( i’ve honestly never met ANYBODY so nice like karen cares so much about people i really wanna be like her one day like :(((((((((((((( i’m really reserved honestly so i have a hard time approaching ppl but i love how karen wants to get to know ppl nd to make sure they’re doing well  ;;;

9. allison is like one of my longest mutuals ever ;;;;; nd like even tho allison seemingly denies my Love :( she’s one of my fav ppl ever ;;n;; she always helps me out bc im literally so dumb nd i want to be as accomplished n intelligent one day 😩

10. omfg i want to include like every mutual i’ve ever talked to like i probably have died from our convo but trUST ME LSKDJFLKSDF D IF WE”VE ACTUALLY TALKED THEN IM totally comfortable n feel close to u alr ;;; ✨💌😌💗💘💞💓💒like honestly i have such a hard time getting clsoe to ppl but the face that anyone approaches me makes me Greet w the openest of open arms,,,,

[marihadalittleann]

Tagged by @mercymm what a pal, what a friend, what a cool goose

Rules: Answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (i wont be tagging that many lmaooo)

— What was your last…

1. Drink: Bottle of water

2. Phone call: I think I Hayden, a frand and QP

3. Text message: Me boyfriend, to update him on my cats shenanigans 

4. Song you listened to: Don’t Forget Me by Way Out West

5. Time you cried: uhhhh couple days ago over school I think. 

6. Dated someone twice: ye

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: also ye

8. Been cheated on: yeah it sucks

9. Lost someone special: yeah, but not  super recently.

10. Been depressed: woo boy howdy 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah too much red wine and me are enemies

— Fave colours

12. Navy Blue

13. Periwinkle 

14. Mint Green

— In the last year have you��

15. Made new friends: yep

16. Fallen out of love: nop

17. Laughed until you cried: so many times

18. Found out someone was talking about you: nah

19. Met someone who changed you: yeah, for the better

20. Found out who your friends are: i be knowin that shit

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: yee

— General

22. How many your Facebook friends do you know irl: I generally only friend people I know IRL bc unless prompted I don’t use facebook that often

23. Do you have any pets: Yeah, A maltipoo named Max that lives with my mom, and my cat Merlin. We briefly had another cat recently but he had to be put down bc health reasons.

24. Do you want to change your name: nah

25. What did you do for your last birthday: Went on a cruise B)

26. What time did you wake up today: 7am, I had lecture

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping or reading some yoi daddy kink shit bc im tharsty

28. What is something you can’t wait for: The job I applied for to come through, and summer break.

29. 29th question??? where ya be

30. What are you listening to right now: Kill Our Way to Heaven by Michl

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Mom’s boyfriend’s name is Tommy. 

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: How dirty my room is rn, and my lack of motivation to do anything about it

33. Most visited website: Tunglr, ao3, university class shit, and amzon for prom planning. I’m buying a 3 lb box of moss. 

34. Hair colour: Brown

35. Long or short hair: Pretty short, but I need my sides clipped.

36. Do you have a crush on someone: probably?? 

37. What do you like about yourself: I make good food sometimes, and I’m very passionate about safe sex.

38. Want any piercings: I want my cartilage pierced at some point but probably after nursing school.

39. Blood type: A+

40. Nicknames: Mari, Merm, meme, Nurse McMurse, Nurse McMurder when I’m peeved, and Nurse McHearse (i resent that one).

41. Relationship status: In relationship

42. Sign: Gemini 

43. Pronouns: She/her, they/them, he/him I don’t have a preference.

44. Fave tv show: Grey’s Anatomy or Broad City when I’m not being weeby

45. Tattoos: None, but I have a list of ones I want after nursing school. 

46. Right or left handed: Right

47. Ever had surgery: Tonsils and wisdom teeth removed

48. Piercings: My ear lobes and my septum 

49. Sport: Used to play softball, used to march flute, now I bike some when I can.

50. Vacation: I went on a cruise to the keys and Mexico around my birthday last year in May. It was super fun!

51. Trainers: what does this mean? I wear vans a lot?

— More General

52. Eating: I just ate a BBQ plate from cookout. Good stuff.

53. Drinking: Water with my meal, but now sparkling raspberry water. Luv that carbonation. 

54. I’m about watch: Grey’s Anatomy. I’m rewatching for like the 3rd time bc it’s my feel good show.

55. Waiting for: My roommate to come back with ice cream

56. Want: a job pls im so poor

57. Get married: Maybe? I’m neutral when it comes to marriage. 

58. Career: Nursing, most likely specializing as an OBGYN or in midwifery. All about that reproduction and sex education. 

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: Hugs, but forehead kisses are bomb af

60. Lips or eyes: Lips.

61. Taller or shorter: No preference.

62. Older or younger: Around the same or older.

63. Nice arms or stomach: don’t care.

64. Hookups or relationships: Relationships.

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: both somehow, I’m a shit lord and mom friend at the same time. 

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: Yep

67. Drank hard liquor: Also yep

68. Turned someone down: Yes sir

69. Sex on first date: Nope

70. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t know, but probably not?

71. Had your heart broken: A little

72. Been arrested: Nope

73. Cried when someone died: yeah, i’m a crier 

74. Fallen for a friend: many

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: I try

76. Miracles: Yeah, healthcare makes me want to at least

77. Love at first sight: Nah, I’m probably demi romantic though? Haven’t sorted that one out yet lmao.

78. Santa Claus: There’s probably someone named Santa Claus on this very earth.

79. Angels: Yeah

— Misc

80. Eye colour: brown, with some weird black spot things

81. Best friend’s name: Me squad is full of best frands

82. Favorite movie: Oh fuck I don’t know, Probably Batman: Under the Red Hood, but also maybe Kill Your Darlings. 

83. Favorite actor: I don’t really have a favorite, but speaking of Kill Your Darlings, Dane Dehaan has a cool aesthetic going on.

84. Favorite cartoon: Voltron: Legendary Defender. 

85. Favorite teacher’s name: My high school choir director/piano teacher. She helped me a lot with confidence issues, and is one of the best people I know really. She was kinda like a school mom, I love her a lot. 

I’ll tag @dukecitrus, @spicyboifriend, @cookiesandcas, @lupcult, @elegaicsongstress, @baffledapple, or anyone else who’s just itching to do this.

[briteboy]

yelling @ santi, i’m evil again (what else is new), SOME REALLY REALLY OLD ASKS, one GoT spoiler at the very bottom (beware)

*angrily slaps santi* GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER YAH POOP HEAD

Lou and Fiona deserve happiness pls let it happen ty

they do ;-; it will happen, don’t worry, no one suffers forever <3 i’ve actually been planning out lou’s story and i’m excited to actualize it hehe

I just read all of Santis story. Dear god, it is amazing. I cannot begin to describe how much I love it. I have been really sick lately and have such a hard time concentrating on anything for more than one second but I have not been able to look away from this story, not even when I re-read it for the third time. You are an amazing writer and I have fallen in love with every charachter you have introduced. I teared up so many times and my heart began beating fast, it was really an experience.

OH MY GOD ;___________; YOU READ IT THREE TIMES WHAATDOSOIGODFSKL holy shit thank you so much, i don’t even know what to say right now lmao ;-; i’m just kinda in awe that i was able to grab your attention like that and that you enjoyed it so much and just askjdjfsd THANK YOU i can’t say anything else but just thank you, people like you make this all worth it <3 

A case of the novembers is the kinda story you read and you just know its going to stick with you for awhile. Like ones day, you'll be long gone in the future, doing something totally different, older wiser, all that bullshit, and you'll just randomly remember what a bittersweet story it was.

OMFG ;___; holy heck asjdjnfkdkjs this really got me right in the heart lmao. that’s the kind of story it’s always been for me and seeing other people interpret it that way as well is just mind boggling, thank you <3 

You are evil. My poor heart hurts. ;______________;

you've ruined my life

Life hack: listen to the entire Hamilton soundtrack whilst working out at the gym. By the end of it, you'll have lost half your body weight due to sweating and crying at the same time (pls help this was such a bad decision)

OMG that’s me with grimes’ art angels lmao i go hord to kill v maim and venus fly

hamilton fans also go hord i respect it. learn more about history get swole killing two birds with one stone

Okay this is so fucking random but a while ago you did a post where you talked about perfect bby gianni saying that he spent a lot of time in introspection and like Thank you 'cause now I have a word to put on this thing I do when I try to figure why I feel certain things or what my relationship with people/random shit is and why and yeah I kind of understand myself a little better now so thx a lot!!! 😘😘😘 Also, you're great.

i think i was actually talking about santi (’cause that’s where we’re at right now, in that period of introspection for him heheh) but YES omg that makes me so happy ;-; it’s a good word lmao and i do the same thing, in fact i’m always trying to figure out my relationships with everything in order to understand myself more. that’s kinda why i’m so into astrology haha. i’m glad you finally got to pin down that feeling for yourself, it’s the best when that happens <3 YOU’RE GREAT TOO 💫

NOOOOOOOO MY FAVS THIS CAN'T... LOU.... SANTI PLS... THIS IS A RIOT 😭😭

let’s start protesting santi in the streets

Hi!! Umm I'm guessing you do but just in case, did you know there was a tear accessory? I think it's an eyeliner (cause you mentioned having to draw them yourself)

yeah i do! i mentioned the ones by s-club, i’ve used those a couple times. but i like drawing them myself because i feel like it’s weird to have the same single teardrop every time one of my characters cries (and we all know they’ve been crying a lot lately lmfao) if they didn’t cry often i probably wouldn’t feel compelled to draw the tears. but i don’t mind drawing them honestly, it’s kinda fun lmao. thanks for your consideration <3 

so im sitting here thinkin....... what if santi goes on this trip and coms back and lou is in a relationship!?!?!

👏santi👏get👏it👏together👏

HE’S TRYIN

i want to die

AAAH SOLE DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN CUTE DEVIL CHILD AND I ALMOST DIED TWICE TATOO MAN YES

I HAD TO READ THIS LIKE THREE TIMES TO UNDERSTAND IT LMFAOSDOJDKF BUT YES their relationship kills me the most ;__;

wait santi tried to kys :'(

WHERE U BEEN he did  :{

what font do u use in your histories?

arial!

hi u have a really pretty blog and I hope you have a good day

THIS IS SO SWEET I DON’T DESERVE IT ;-; I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO HONEYBEE 🌻

nyooooooom

I WENT M.I.A FOR A LITTLE AND I COME BACK TO READ UP ON THE STORY AND HOW DARE YOU ASHDDJFKL

@teishajenaie on instagram looks like Rooney to me, idk if you'd agree but ??

i see it!! definitely in the eyes and nose. also sorry i answered this literally like 3 months later lmao

gooey by glass animals gives me santi vibes :) ive been listening to it on repeat (bc im tht bitch) and it was making me think of you and his story! c: i hope you dont mind me over here lmao anyway, im excited to see where it goes and real excited for a back story for lou!! <3 lots of love

omg haha that’s actually funny because i used it in that one scene of him tripping, although it’s like completely a gianni song to me (at least personality-wise, it’s even on his playlist on my character page) and noooo i don’t mind, i love that song and i love when people recommend me songs!! i have a whole bunch of recommendations in my inbox that i need to acknowledge omg. anyway I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED, especially for lou’s story, it’s coming up reeeeeal soon <333

i feel so late to the party but i Just started reading your story like five minutes ago and im absolutely entranced by it already and i cant wait to catch up and finally understand what to heck is going on

this was sent literally forever ago when santi and molly were out there being wild in the desert lmao so i hope you caught up and everything. “entranced” omg that’s such a wonderful word i’m honored

i didnt think i could love you more but the fact that you watch arrested development makes me so happy. i cry. my boyfriend has a mr manager, bluths frozen bananas shirt thats literally my favorite thing ever.

OMGGG YES i watched it once forever ago and i need to re-watch it asap lmao. I’M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THAT SAME EXACT SHIRT FOR MY BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR

Just a biiig prank. Huge

this one is from so long ago i don’t remember the context but i laughed at loud when i read it. huge

i was playing with uncharted for the first time today and they said Navarro in it and i was like THATS MY BOI SANTIII

santi infiltrating everyone’s lives my bf played uncharted tho!! it looked cool. like indiana jones. i liked the marketplace part. a monkey stole his apple

Hi sunny! I really am in love with your story (even if it's tearing me apart at the moment) and just wanted to say you're cool Stay strong ma dude

HI THANK YOU <333 you’re also cool my dude and i’m sorry for tearing you apart (if it makes you feel any better this story tears me apart on a daily basis)

what packs and expansions do u have for ur game?

ummmmmm all of them except vintage glamour and fitness stuff. i wish i didn’t buy some of the stuff packs lmao but what can ya do i actually didn’t even get vampires or bowling or parenthood until like a month ago lmao i’m late to the party

Oh shit she's been dead hasn't she. Like this is all a drug or alcohol infused bender of mollys memory, she's probably never left. They're probably still at the hospital. I hope I fucking wrong but shit I also hope not. Poor santi

we’re so far past this but i just wanted to publish this anyway lmao it was a good theory! and this person was so sure of it it kinda made me wish it was true lol. sorry if that disappointed you but i’ll always remember this one in my sad sad heart 💔

how long did it take for you to make friends here? I started a simblr because I really like storytelling with my sims & I thought it'd be fun to meet people who enjoy that, too, especially since I don't have many friends irl...but I've been here for quite a few months now and it seems like no one even cares that I'm here....everyone I try to interact with pretty much ignores me after a message or two....I'm just feeling really discouraged about my presence here :/

I’M REALLY SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER THIS SOONER ASKJDKJFSDKA (i’m sure it didn’t help the fact that you feel ignored, i really really hope you see this) but okay uhhhhhhh i only had acquaintances from 2015 up until like this year? then i started really becoming close with people. so it took a while lol, but i think everyone starts off slow because it’s mostly about the actual game we’re playing at first and then making friends just happens through that. don’t get discouraged, like i said it took a while for me. you really just need to reach out to the people you’d like to become friends with, reply to their posts, give your genuine thoughts, say something that’ll make their day...people notice that no matter what they have going on, i promise. i hope you’re still here and hanging in there. don’t get caught up in who’s talking to you or not talking to you, just do your thing, enjoy what you do, and people will notice you. <3

3. Hi so I just wanted to say that I love your story, I'm here for every update. I'm an s3 player I play s4 every once in awhile but s3 has my soul. I love Santi and I know he will be happy in the end, whether it's with Lou or not(hopefully it is tho) I only want him to be happy. I go through so many emotions in one post, like this is a tv drama and I can’t wait for the next episode. This is the end of my cut and paste. Have a nice day.❤️

HI HELLO <3 this is so sweet and i can’t believe you actually care about my story lmao thank you i’m glad you have faith in his happy ending, i don’t want anyone to think i genuinely like making my characters suffer lmao. i only do it to make the happy ending more satisfying. asjdfjksd comparing my stuff to film or tv always makes me so giddy so THANK YOU ily <333

"Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes" (Beyonce) reminds me of Molly's situation soooo muchhhh aaaahhhhh

OMG YES what a good connection. good song good connection yaeeahhh better call molly with the good hair

Ummmm... hello! I just read through your whole story with Santi and I'm like... holy fuck. Not only is your story wonderful, your editing is so good. I'm surprised I didn't shove my eyes up against my computer screen. Please continue making wonderful things and being great. Signing off 12:31 in the morning, I hope you have as much fun as you want to

“as much fun as you want to” omfgasdkngjd why did that make me laugh so much. don’t have too much fun, have the responsible amount of fun anyway HELLO thank you soooooO much ;-; pls don’t shove ur eyes up against the screen i’m almost positive that’s not good for them. but i appreciate this so much thank YOU for being great <3 signing off at 2:18 in the morning after ignoring this message for months now (i’m sorryyyyyyy) but um ily

HELLO??? I JUST READ A SERIOUS CASE OF NOVEMBER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I'M LIKE CRYING???? y u do dis to me I hate you and love you at the same time

(I need to rant I'm sorry) My uncle is really positive towards the army and war and stuff like that and all day he's been going on about how it should be mandatory to serve in the military, especially for "little brat girls" like me? And it's stressing me out so much I want to cry :( The army and war is something that genuinely scares me and I don't want anything to do with it, but he's just going on and on! What should I do?

this is literally sooooooooo late and i feel so bad i’m sorry, i hope this still helps you out and i hope you see it tho okay. i’m pretty sure this was even before the trans military ban like whew idek what your uncle must think about that. tbh just ignore him, like i know it’s hurtful but like...what is his point in telling you this? i would’ve literally been like (sarcastically) “ok then sign me up” but i’m also a lil shit so that’s probably not the best thing to say. but really like the only thing he’s trying to do is feel powerful by means of expressing his militaristic (no pun intended) opinions to someone far younger than him. it’s so that he feels bigger and better than you (especially by calling you a brat). he’s a sad man and anyone who relies on the military, of all things, to shape a person probably doesn’t have a strong sense of self anyway. i love you okay, just ignore him, don’t let him stress you out <3

I'm a little high and it's late but I have a lot of courage now so I've been following you for a while and I just want to tell you how much I love your story! I have come across other places on tumblr who do this but none have captured me as this one did! You are amazing and I am in love with this story! Thanks fo being you! :)

ONMG YOU HAD TO BE HIGH TO SEND THIS LMAO that was me this weekend anyway thank you so much, it floors me every time anyone says these kinds of things to me and it never gets old ;-; you are so amazing ok <333

you can't possibly be offended by a homophobic joke in game of thrones, it's set in medieval times. they had several lgbt characters in it, it's not the show that's homophobic, it's the characters, which is accurate for that time period.

o i can and i will lmao i mean i get where you’re coming from but with that logic you could say it’s only accurate to put homophobic jokes in today’s media just because people are still homophobic in the time live in. i know it’s the characters, but you do understand that someone writes those characters, right? it’s bad writing. it’s lazy and pandering and because of that it’s offensive. idk if you know the exact dialogue i was referring to but it was so completely unnecessary lmfao. they could’ve made a million other jokes. regardless of how it offended me it was just BAD lmao

SPOILER BELOW OK DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA

@ I wanna watch GoT anon: don't. It's just so fucking bad. The definition of overhyped tbh (and btw, sunny, PLS HELP HE SCREWED HIS FUCKING AUNT WTH)

LMAO SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME? wow bless u. it is definitely overhyped, like it was good at first but it’s been riding that hype through these past couple of seasons to disguise the bad writing. i understand being entertained by it, but i’m always surprised when people think it’s actually well written at this point...it’s so cringey and now thanks to the season finale this fanbase will be justifying incest. great!

OK MOVE ALONG NOW

[motiuational]

whether you’re down bc of burnout or stress or just generally feeling :// this is what i used when i had a little (read: quite large) blip last week. if some of these tips aren’t doable or helpful it’s still ok and you’re still ok!!!

1) Cut Yourself Some Slack if you’re feeling like this it’s probably for a reason and you need to do something to combat it. whether you’re sad bc of a mental illness or something that’s happened in your life or everything is just too much rn that’s ok and you’re ok and feeling like this is valid and can’t be ignored

so take a mental health day and sleep in, buy that thing you want, get yourself new stationary or high quality coffee. talk to people, either online (im always here for anything i don’t promise to understand but i will listen and advise) or irl (friends, family, therapist, your dog, whoever you want to) - after all “if you don’t get it off of your chest, you’ll never be able to breath”

catch up with that tv show, do your make up, use the fancy bath stuff and most importantly look after yourself. don’t let anyone push you further than you can handle, not even yourself. right now, focus on you.

2) Get Out of Bed this actually is really really hard if you feel terrible but it really is an important stage for your health and productivity you will honestly feel so much better

3) Eat & Drink Doesn’t have to be a fancy fully cooked english breakfast or pancakes or whatever you have wherever you are, sometimes it can literally be a piece of fruit or cereal and that’s ok you’re up and eating! go you! also please try and eat three meals in each day - microwave meals are the easiest tbh but eggs, avo on toast, soup, make some stuff that’s not time consuming or needs effort unless cooking if your thing and it’ll help you

for water i generally sleep with a glass by my bed and down it in the mornings as soon as i wake up. also if you wanna make yourself some tea or coffee or something now’s the time to enjoy that!! water is your primary aim though so try to keep a large bottle near you at all times (large so you don’t have to get up as often)

also take all vitamins and medicines you need to!!!!

4) Hygiene you’ve got this far you’re doing great! now you need to brush your teeth, try and get in the shower or wash your face, do all your clean routine stuff. Also get dressed! either comfy clothes or clean pj’s whatever you’re the best in rn (as i write this im in pj’s and a blanket cape so no judge) also i always find wearing shoes to make me more productive for some reason so if that works for you just slip on some reeeally comfy ones

5) Three Tasks for Today honestly having three tasks that you have set as your most important is really good for you!! tbh these can include having a shower or petting your pets bc these are very important to dos for your mental health and in genera. your pets will agree esp if they are cats. if you have no pets then there might be dogs in your local park or cats in your neighborhood or maybe a petting zoo??? make your goals easily achievable! even if they’re simple things they’ll make you feel productive and better in yourself - like today my to do’s are this post, shower, and to write a sentence of my coursework!! yesterday it was literally get up, pet cats, brush teeth

some recommended tasks: - shower! - eat a healthy breakfast! - get out of the house even if only round the corner and back - text someone (your parents? friends? significant other?) - if you wanna stay productive without working on your set work why don’t you do a short course on a website like memrise or learn the basics of a language on duolingo? i taught myself the basics of british sign language last week go me

6) If You’re Working… i) if one or more of your three tasks involves working then this is for you! make your working space clear even if you just shove everything under your bed that’s fine you can deal with it when you can. now you need to get out your pens, your laptop, your bujo and whatever you need to work. also if you have candles or fairy lights or something light them they’re so nice and calming!!

ii) find a playlist to listen to!! i have different ones for different moods but the ones i recommend are on spotify and are upbeat, a kinda classical one and the playlist for yuri! on ice tbh bc they’re all instrumental which i love but whatever you prefer to listen to is fine!

iii) do the easy stuff first like sending off emails or taking the bins out or stuff that can be finished in under 5 mins. bam!! already ticked stuff off your to do list go you!!

iv) now what i typically try and do is a “touch and go” thing for my work which tbh i originally got from @busystudyign as well as the two minute rule from @emmastudies. basically the touch and go is where you go like “ill only write 2 sentences of my intro” but generally once you’ve done that you keep going but if not then just keep coming back to “touch” it until it’s done. the two minute rule is similar, where you work on your intro for two minutes and then you either stop or if you’re in the groove then you keep at it!!

v) also break down everything you need to do! need to do that essay? ok! plan the outline! so like a sentence explaining what each paragraph is gonna be about. then go a bit more in depth paragraph by paragraph. then write the first one!!! you go you’re doing great!!!

tl;dr 

whatevers going on, however you’re feeling, whoever you are - just know it’s gonna be ok. you can do this. there are so many people willing to support you (inc me) and you’re gonna do wonderfully and succeed!!! maybe not rn but soon trust me life sucks but it’s gonna be better than this

[sambashua]

HOW SVT BE FAM

♥S-sa-say the name!!

So this is going to be the longest post in the history of mankind bc I go real deep w their personalities and stuff ahh also since I don’t personally know them ofc so this is all based on what I’ve seen from their shows and videos:)) THANKS FOR ASKING KAT I’M GONNA TURN YOU INTO A HARDCORE CARAT SOONER RATHER THAN LATER AHHH [sidenote i included my personal nicknames for them so u know who i’m talkin abt irl girl] I ALSO LINKED A BUNCH OF STUFF I RLLY WENT CRAZY

Choi Seungcheol aka S.coups (cheolie) - OKAY AH since he’s your bias I’ll write extra thingsssss!! The faithful general leader and rap boyyy scoops! So this lil bun I thought for a while when I first followed them like oh he’s probably the most normal like he’s level headed and stuff but NOPE NOPE NOPE! SEUNGCHEOL IS ACTUALLY THE BIGGEST CUTIE DORK IN THE WORLD he is afraid of like a lot of things which is too funny bc he’s acts all manly and all the members see him that way and I cannot believe~ like he’s afraid of killing fish and and fireworks and being in front of the camera alone and chopping firewood and doing something that doesn’t get a reaction?? Whenever he does any sort of charm he tells the members to be sure to have a good reaction and BOYY IF THEY DONT he goes off on them I stg… but in all seriousness he is so so so hardworking (he trained for 6 years oh my god) like he always tries to take pressure off his members and he cares for his babies so much and they even call him appa sometimes and they look up to him so much it is the cutest thing like they always rate him so high in looks and I cry love him plz. But he is an actual puppy like w his long eyelashes and pouty face like oh my god and he is getting cuter everyday???? Like actually tho he’s doing it on purpose and I can’t handle it?? When did he plan this I can’t believe how frickin cute he is being lately! He’s such a soft fluff and he’s always so strong for the other members and they look up to him so much and he is one of the best groups leaders I’ve ever seen just bc of how much they all respect and listen to him:)Yoon Jeonghan (hannie) - so this pos… jkjk (kinda) hannie is “svt’s angel” bc he was born on 1004 the pretty vocalist who everyone knows as the guy in seventeen w long hair SOOO the thing w hannie is he is like the most beautiful man in kpop like his face is so pretty and his features too like?? How?? He seems like he would be feminine but he is actually one of the most (if not the most) manly members of svt!! But he gets tired so fast tho he is rated #13 in stamina and they call him lying-jeonghan bc he’s always lying down lol. But oh my god he is such a piece of trash I cannot believeeeee on tumblr I have a tag dedicated to all the times hannie has been a piece of shit I’ll link it to you if you want but like he cheats and lies in EVERY GAME THEY HAVE EVER PLAYED NO JOKE and even if they’re not competing he is always the first to call someone out and he is just such a ho i die like he is not svt’s angel at all BUTTTTTTTT he is actually so hardworking like even if he’s tired they’ve said that he keeps practicing and ugh he’s good… he has dubbed himself mother of svt and generally everyone p much agrees w him! Hannie and seungcheol call the other members “kids” and it is the purest thingJoshua Hong/Hong Jisoo(kor) (shuaaa) - everyone kinda knows josh as the American gentleman w his sweet voice and sick English skills (side note whenever he speaks eng tho he always stutters and I’m like boy why but it’s super cute and ilh) and he can speak five languages (supposedly) he plays guitar and he’s rlly Christian too lol so he’s the resident ���church oppa” as the kids say these days and he has a cute cartilage piercing w a cross aw (he also recently got his tragus pierced and damn it looks good but anyway) Also his peach hair was such a good time like wow. Shua seems rlly quiet and I mean he is but oh my god he is so fucking extra LIKE I DONT UNDERSTAND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE BECAME SO EXTRA IDK WAS HE ALWAYS THIS WAY BUT I DIDNT SEE PAST HIS CAT EYES AND SWEET VOICE LIKE WHO KNOWSSSS but he does this pin drop dance thing way too often but it’s hilarious and the members are obsessed w it bc he always says he has a hard time w dance and choreo and this is his only dance move (but tbh he’s actually p good at dancing like i never rlly notice he falls behind or anything except that one time performing pretty u where he started his part too early but that actually created a new part of the choreo they ended up using for a bit fun fact)… that and his samba aka my url sambashua (technically he doesn’t actually samba tho I’m p sure he’s doing the merengue but it’s okay shua I still love u) He’s also a fricking nerd for anime which is great i love it. Josh and Vernon are rlly close bc English buds and they’re the memeist together also him and jeonghan are a true ship bc they came to pledis at the same time and they’re cute

Wen Junhui/Moon Junhui(kor) aka Jun - so jun is ½ of china line and ¼ foreign line. A dancing noodle from southeast China wow (I say noodle bc he is a skinny bean and also v flexible bc he does martial arts things wow) he did Kung Fu in china for a long as heck time and does a lot of kicky things and flips and he’s super cool ALSO FUN FACT: HIS NAME IS JUN AND HE WAS BORN IN JUNE WOOHOO a lot of people assume he’s like sly/greasy but that’s mostly him in like interviewy shows?? But in reality shows and vlives he is actually just such a cute sweet bean and he loves the members so much! He was a child actor in china and was p famous I think for a while?? But he learned Korean p well before he joined pledis (their label btw idk if you know or not lol) BUT EVEN FROM DEBUT HIS PRONUNCIATION HAS KEPT IMPROVING IM SO PROUD a lot of people cal him the true visual of svt (tbh I don’t like that bc they’re all beautiful don’t put anyone down ah) BUT HE IS SO HANDSOME LIKE DAMN BOY HE’S GOT SUCH NICE FEATURES AND HE IS THE CUTEST BEAN IN THE WORLD Alsoooo several of the members have dubbed him svt’s mother bc he’s super encouraging and “endless positivity jun” and he pays special attention to minghao they have the purest friendship!! (plz give him lines)Kwon Soonyoung aka Hoshi (HOSH) - DANCE MASTER AND PERF TEAM LEADER OF SEVENTEEN LIKE OKAY ALL OF PERF TEAM IS SO TALENTED I CAN’T BELIEVE BUT SOONYOUNG IS SO INCREDIBLE HE CAN CREATE DANCES ANYTIME ANYWHERE AND HE EXECUTES THEM SO WELL?? His stage name Hoshi means star in Japanese bc he shines in stage! And he knows Japanese pretty well I don’t think he’s fluent but he cute cute cute!! Anyway people rec him to go on hit the stage (WHICH I AM SO HERE FOR (but also let him rest he needs a break dear god they all do)) he creates all of svt’s dances wow (w help from perf team ofc) but he is actually the squishiest sweetest boy off stage but then on stage he completely transforms into whatever concept like he can take on anything?? I would not have assumed dark concept would work for him BUT BOY HOWDY IT DOES he turns from adorable hamster to sexy dance god in .2 seconds i don’t understand how people who bias him survive tbh… He is also SHINee’s biggest fan oh my god and the fact that he now stands on the same stages as them literally blows his mind he is such a fanboy i love♥ HE CARES FOR HIS MEMBERS SO MUCH (I realize I’ve said this abt everyone but hey hey they have a lot of love) he wrote HIGHLIGHT as his first time ever helping produce/write lyrics and I’m so proud:D AND HIS VOICE HIS SO GOOD he’s just so bouncy and good and so attractive??? He goes by 10:10 bc his eyes are like the hands of a clock at 10:10 wowie and EYE SMILES FOR DAYS~ just a sweet lil bab w a pure heart honestlyJeon Wonwoo (wonu aka the loml) - goddammit I hate jeon wonwoo JKJK OKAY SO JEON WONWOO IS MY ULT BIAS IMMA DO MY BEST TO KEEP THIS CONCISE BUT IDK HOW IT’S GONNA GO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY! jeon frickin wonwoo has the deepest voice in svt and is known for his deep, smooth rap style wow (his rap style is really unique like if you listen to it it sort of ebbs and flows w the music and he drags out notes sometimes it’s so nice fuck) he sings all the time it’s so great and the members always ask him to read things bc (he’s good at reading generally and) he has his nice deep voice ahh~ JEON FRICKIN WONWOO IS THE BIGGEST DORK IN THE WHOLE WORLD jeon wonwoo enjoys making bad puns and reading books (esp romance ones I hate him). The other members act like they hate his jokes but they always laugh at what he says and when he was gone (rip he was sick for a couple months from end of may ish to july ish) they mentioned that they missed his dumb jokes (and so did I). He considers himself to be the best looking (what a ho) and he is naturally skinny which a lot of the members are jealous of (but tbh this could be partially because he has a lot of health issues and allergies I just want to care for him and make him food and feed him forever so he gets fat and happy help me) On one fine day he was dubbed the garden fairy and also jeon wonwoo bag of luck oh my god I am so embarrassed by him (jk I love him w the entirety of my heart in case you couldn’t tell) Some of my favorite things abt wonwoo are his little nose crinkles when he smiles and his glasses that look just so cute on him and when he wears big sweaters and then he has sweater paws and he looks so cuddly and soft. He is also so boastful like he is always the first one to support himself it’s so funny but he doesn’t exactly brag it’s more confidence idk but he’s also rlly smart and good at acrostic poems bc he reads so much:) He also always cheers for other members when they want him to i.e. seungkwan when he cheers for himself. He seems shy when he’s on talk shows but I think he just wants to let other people talk but on vlives he always whispers to other members aND I JUST WANT HIM TO SPEAK UP! JEON WONU TELL US WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY but in conclusion I am in love with him and would def recommend anyone to bias him bc honestly he is a good bias just bc he is chill and pure and funny and beautiful (even tho sometimes he’s MIA and quiet as heck pshhh)Lee Jihoon aka Woozi - vocal team leader and producer of p much all their lit ass tunes!! 10/10 MOST HARDWORKING MEMBER OUT OF SVT I’M SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE BUT JIHOON WORKS SO HARD ALL THE TIME I’M SO WORRIED FOR HIM HE NEEDS A BREAK!! It’s so heartbreaking tho if you ever want to cry and cough up your lungs bc of sobs then watch SVT Project where he talks abt how he feels so much pressure and feels like their success or failure is riding on him bc he writes all their music and will determine if they will be any good:(((( BUT OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE A BIG HIT BC JIHOONIE IS SUPER TALENTED AND MAKES THE BEST UPBEAT FUNKY FRESH POP TUNES OF THE CENTURY~ he is one of (if not the) shortest male idols at the moment at a staggering 165cm/5'4"! But it’s so great bc he doesn’t try to hide his heigh and he is considered and “inspiration to short men” according to one fashion report. The members always say he is rlly manly but on camera he acts cute and 10/10 appreciate it bc he is the cutest ever but only subtly… like he embarrassingly/shyly covers his face so cutely and gets angry so adorably where he just glares aw (he has also confirmed that he considers himself to be more cute than scary) woozi is a abbreviation of “our jihoon” which is the cutest asjkdhskl. He is also seventeen’s grandpa bc he is rlly not too hip at all but they try to help him out anyway! He also winks 24/7 lol. His voice is rlly clear and piercing like he often sings parts of the chorus and his voice draws you in idk it’s nice:) he trained for the second longest amount after scoops (5 years) so they’re super close bc they were together longer than the other membersLee Seokmin aka Dokyeom/DK - an actual ray of sunshine w the most incredible vocals like wow! He is svt’s “happy virus” and boy does he own it!! He is always smiling and laughing and making jokes he is the cutest I stg… He also has a more built figure physically and it’s hot as heck tbh. He, seungkwannie and soonyoung make up the “booseoksoon” trio which is basically the extra/mc/always laughing squad and they are such close friends it’s the cutest ever boo and hosh think he’s the funniest person in the world I love it!! Seokmin also puts a lot of pressure on himself bc he’s main vocal and I feel like he’s super underrated???? But he went on King of Masked Singer and I think he made it through two or three rounds? Anyway he did rlly rlly good (even tho honestly think he has way more potential than what he showed) and I hope it boosted his confidence bc he is incredible!! The judges assumed he was from an older group bc his voice was so mature eeeee!! HE IS SO LOUD OH MY GOD one time they said that the CEO could hear him practicing from the 4th floor while he was in the basement I- He is always the first person to make fun of himself and he doesn’t mind being the brunt of a joke as long as he gets people to laugh it’s adorable:)) He always brings up the mood and helps out the members whenever there is awkwardness w being filmed and such JUST SUPPORT THIS SUNNY BOY HE HAS SO MUCH LOVE AND JOY IN HIS HEART!!Kim Mingyu - the tallest bean on the block and svt’s “visual tree” at a staggering 190cm/6'1" (correct me if I’m wrong I didn’t look this up) but I’m p sure he has grown recently bc he is getting taller everyday I swear? He’s got some good rap mhmm~ But he is such a clumsy pup and the members always make fun of him but it’s okay bc he can take it (he has the best reaction so that’s why they do it) He is dropping things and tripping 25/8 and it’s the cutest thing! But “housewife ming” can legit do anything like he is a true man of many talents damn i.e. cooking, hairstyling, acting, cleaning… But he is so so pretty like who the heck allowed him to be this attractive?? Gyu goes from super visual savior to fluffy pup on the daily and it’s too much to handle… Idk he seems like he might be super cool and chic when you first see him but he is actually just a giggly fool always having a hard time… Mingyu is the only one in svt that I would call the “visual” (only bc he is officially the visual i think they are literally gorgeous okay!!) but he is actually rlly insecure abt it and only calls himself “aspiring visual” and it’s mostly bc of his dark complexion WHICH IS COMPLETELY FLAWLESS AND SO BEAUTIFUL STOP WHITEWASHING KIM MINGYU PLZ but i rlly commend him for being visual despite common opinions/standards on skin color in korea. A lot of people (okay most people) ship him and wonwoo (aka meanie) and I do too, don’t get me wrong, but my all time favorite ship is mingyu and minghao (aka gyuhao) bc same age, they act like they hate each other but are actually super supportive (one of my fave tropes blah) and idk they’re both just confused pups help me and w that transition…

Xu Minghao/Seo Myungho(kor) aka The8 (i never call him the8 ever srry b i don’t like it idk ah) - our “cool cutie” from northeast(i think) China with the most killer bboying skills i’ve ever seen in kpop! He now introduces himself as “The8 with infinite possibilities” and he has been growing more and more as an artist and a person I’m so proud of him!! He trained for the shortest amount of time (~1year+2months i believe) and he really struggled w Korean when he first started. Even after debut he was very quiet but he has been talking more and more lately and he has been doing so well!! Minghao is cute as heck but he is also (along w hannie) svt’s Resident Savage™ and the main usage of his Korean improvement has gone into calling out the other members w his incredible comebacks. Two of his favorite targets seem to be soonyoung and mingyu but he rlly doesn’t hold back on anyone (except maybe jun bc they are such good buddies bc china line and jun helps him w his korean asjkklfjls) But anyway he is an incredible dancer and singer and also rapper!! (give him more lines plz plz plz) vernon has been helping him w his korean rapping but he is already one lit mandarin rapper like damn… But minghao is the most supportive member of svt (hear me out) whenever they do broadcasts or radio shows minghao always gives thumbs ups/supportive smiles/high fives it is the purest thing and part of the reason I love him sm!!! He’s also super cuddly and is always touching/hugging the other members asjkltfasd. Sometimes he doesn’t quite understand a question and the other members help explain it to him it’s my favorite concept (it’s usually soonyoung or seungcheol but i’ve seen p much all of them do it) lately he has been getting more meme-y and idk how to feel but as long as he’s getting out of his comfort zone I am immensely proud of him:))

Boo Seungkwan (boo) - the other main vocal in svt and just generally the loudest and usually mc for the group. Boo has some of the most incredible vocals i’ve seen in my life and he sings probably my favorite cover duet of all time (the high note around 3:05 makes me emotional every time istg also their reactions are me) He’s so talented and his voice is so clear and nice and his RANGE! I could go on forever… To describe seungkwan in two words would be sweet and sassy… He is part of maknae/baby line but he’s always calling people out and bossing them around it’s hilarious. (he is generally hilarious tbh) Also he’s a huge volleyball program nerd it’s great (and possibly haikyuu!! but not confirmed) He’s commonly referred to as divaboo and the video just seungkwan things captures all his divaness perfectly 10/10 would rec! He’s also super english-y all the time probably bc he spends so much time w vernon which is great for us international fans whoop whoop. But back to him being sweet- even though he is definitely his own biggest fan (in the most adorable way omg) he is also svt’s biggest fan he always cheers on his members it’s so cute he’s so soft and good! He cares so much for the fans and he’s head of the Seventeen Fan Cafe (i think) and he’s great abt interacting w carats and all that fanservicey stuff:) He is also super underappreciated honestly support him bc he supports everyone else even tho he’s rlly insecure abt his looks and body even tho he is the most beautiful boo w THE BEST CHEEKBONES IN THE UNIVERSE HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE THINGS DAMN BOY

Hansol Vernon Chwe/Choi Hansol(kor) aka Vernon (bernonie) - One of the most well-known members of svt bc he’s half white and was also a child actor. He has some of the most lit raps tbh and i’m p sure every single one (or almost) has english in it lol. His mom is white and American and his dad is from Korea. Technically he was born in New York, USA BUT BUT BUT he moved to korea when he was five so he doesn’t remember it like at all and every host ever asks him abt it and he always has to say he is basically korean and JUST LET HIM LIVE but since his mom speaks english he is fluent in it (but he has said he is better at korean) He is super super visual and he gets more attractive every day like who the heckkk. Hansol is one of the more popular members so a lot of people would expect him to be outgoing (or even douchey bc he’s half white which is dumb yet it happens) but he is one of the quietest members and usually doesn’t speak up in interviews and such bc he’s kinda shy! BUT THIS DOES NOT I REPEAT DOES NOT MEAN HE IS NOT A MEME!! VERNON IS CONFIRMED THE MEMEIST MEMBER OF SVT ALONG W JOSHUA DON’T FIGHT ME. At this point he has even been dubbed “memesol” bc he makes the best reaction faces in recorded history dear god. He also finds literally everything so hilarious and definitely laughs the most whenever the other members do anything. But honestly he is a super cute, sweet pup who deserves a whole lotta love!! also kinda unrelated but one of my favorite posts of all time is dedicated to him i don’t even know…

Lee Chan aka Dino (MY SON) - I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START W THIS LIL BAB! Lee Chan is svt’s “small giant” maknae who is Michael Jackson’s #1 Fan™ and literal dancing machineeee! He has grown so much since debut i cannot believe and he is getting more confident MY BOY! Honestly his glow up should be some kinda world record bc oh my god it hasn’t even been two years?? AND HIS RAP HAS IMPROVED SO MUCH LIKE EVEN FROM JAM JAM TO OMG Vernon rapped most of jam jam but then in omg chan rapped all of it by himself!!!! ALSO EVEN FROM OMG TO HIGHLIGHT NOW HE TRANSITIONS FROM RAPPING STRAIGHT INTO SINGING WITH THE SAME BREATH I CANNOT BELIEVE!! But he is so creative and funny and full of energy!! He helps hoshi w most of the dances (i think he did most of the choreo for jam jam) and his stage name is dino bc when he steps on the stage he takes it over and becomes a big presence like a dinosaur which is so creative??? he also graduated high school a while back and then just too his entrance exams!! I’m so proud!! But he tries so hard to keep improving and he’s just so pure and has a complete heart of gold♥ He also aspires to be an mc and he works rlly hard to improve his skills on that front too! Chan is so incredibly talented, but again not a whole lot of people bias him which is crazy???? Bc he is so hansome and also my son?? also lowkey savage af But all the members love him a whole lot and he is their baby, even though he is now “an adult” but srry bun no one will probably ever stop calling him baby (esp jeonghan)

[paradox-oflife]

massive q and a post part 3 ignore this pls

1. If you could learn any language fluently what would it be? Um maybe latin because it sounds cool but for practical purposes probably spanish lol

2. What historical Figure would you love to see in 21st centuary life? Jesus, not because I’m Christian but I’m curious to see what he would say

3. As a kid were you ever frighted of a monster under the bed or in the cupboard? No because my bed didn’t have space underneath 

4. Do you like clowns? nope

5. Do you prefer BBC or ITV? Okay, this is clearly British but I’d go with BBC

6. Have you ever been surfing? Once. It didn’t go that well lol

7. Have you ever been snowboarding? Yeah, it’s pretty fun actually!

8. Who was better, the Beatles or Elvis Presley? uuuh the Beatles

9. Whats your favourite type of foreign food? By foreign I’m assuming non-American/British. But anything from Taiwan (except for pig’s blood ew) is soul food for me :)

10. Which Foreign country do you dislike the most? I... don’t know. North Korea I guess? But when it comes to most countries, it’s the government that makes it bad.

11. Do you like your music loud or easy listening? (What does this mean??) Depends on the mood

12. Whats your favourite animated or cartoon program? Adventure time :D

13. Do you sing in the shower? Errr, no.

14. Are you a clean or messy person? I try my best to be clean but it always ends up messy.

15. Whats your prefered playing piece in monopoly? I usually go with the cat :3

16. Can or Do you still play twister? God I haven’t played since 5th grade.

17. Can you play chess? Yeah, not really good at it though.

18. Do you know the dance steps to an annoying cheesey pop song? Haha no because I suck at dancing

19. Do you prefer straight or bendy straws? Bendy

20. Have you ever entered a talent contest? And did you win? No .-. I’m not the type to do that lol

21. Do you like poetry? Yeah. I’d say so.

22. Are you a sore loser? Nah, I’m pretty chill when it comes to that type of thing

23. Which would you choose? Jelly or Ice Cream? Ice Cream > Jelly

24. Whats your favourite type of Pie? New Zealand’s steak and cheese

25. Whats your most used phrase? Hm. Maybe “yeah nah”

26. Whats your most used word? Not sure. I talk a lot.

27. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Someone Asian of course, someone who has studied me well enough and understands me

28. What would your dream job be? Okay, I’m gonna be real. I wanted to be a vet but lowkey I’m too colorblind for it lol. I’m planning to study in Physical Therapy

29. Which song do you hate the most? I mainly just listen to the same albums nowadays but I guess i don’t really vibe with a lot of pop songs.

30. How long does it take you to get ready? Depends how tired I am. If I get pretty good sleep it takes maybe 10 minutes at most. 

31. What do you think the greatest invention has been? The printing press.

32. Whats your favourite feature on the opposite sex? Uuuh i dont really know. Forearms are nice i guess

33. Whats your least favourite feature on the opposite sex? Sometimes they’re just really oblivious to really obvious things

34. Who's your favourite Comedian? I don’t even listen to comedians really but Chelsea Peretti is pretty funny.

35. What's your favourite board game? Probably Monopoly. There’s no greater feeling than seeing the life drain from your friends’ eyes as you collect $5000 from them

36. Do you have any lucky items, objects or traditions? When I’m having a bad day I like to just read through my yearbooks and look at all the compliments people wrote. 

37. Do you have any superstitions? Not really.

38. Whats your favourite Movie quote? I have a lot. But maybe Manners Maketh Man.

39. Who would win in a fight? Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer? Chuck Norris.

40. Do you have much of an ego? I wish. I want to be more confident

41. Do you wear sunglasses indoors to look cool or stylish? No. Nothing against it though.

42. Are you a hat person? Nah

43. Whats your favourite supermarket chain? Costco

44. Whats your favourite fastfood chain? Smashburger or Inn n Out

45. Whats your first thought upon waking up? “Lord help me.”

46. What animal would you most like to have as a pet? I love dogs. And cats. 

47. Whats your favourite type of tree? Pine trees always remind me of home.

48. If you could bankrupt one person or company who would it be? Uuuh as much as I want to bankrupt someone like Jeff Bezos that’d be bad because a lot of people rely on Amazon

49. If you could steal one thing without consequence what would it be? I honestly don’t know. 

50. Who's your favourite celeb with the same first name or surname as you? I don’t know much celebrities with the same name as me.

51. If evil-doers invaded your country would you rush to the battlelines to defend the motherland or hide in a box? Um hide in a box I’m so tiny. Like I know a bit of martial arts but like??? I’m literally 5′1″ and i’m only 115 pounds. Someone could bench me easily.

52. Whats your favourite flower? I like lillies 

53. Do you believe in ghosts? Im really mixed about it. I believe demons exist though

54. Do you believe in the loch ness monster? Nay

55. Do you believe in Aliens? Eeeeh kind of but when i think about aliens i think about microorganisms. 

56. Do you believe the Governments hide technology and information from the public? Yes 100%

56. Which is your favourite pokemon? Growlithe uwu

57. What horror fiction character scares you the most?  Pennywise. No thanks.

58. Can you do 10 revolutions of a hula hoop? Yeah

59. Do you think Great Britain should have a National Day? n/a 60.Do you think Great Britain should be part of a United Europe?n/a 61. Would you want the Euro or keep the British Pound?n/a

62. Were you part of the Brownies/Cubs/Scouts/Guides etc? Nah

63. Have you ever invented a fairly unique meal or drink? No I’m not that good at cooking lol

64. Do you have any secret family recipes? My family only knows how to cook asian food and well, asian food is very freestyle

65. Do you have any family secrets? :o     uuuuuh well, it wouldn’t be a secret if I said it right?

66. Are you good at keeping secrets? Yeah! You can count on me.

67. Have you ever been up in a hot air balloon? Nopenopenopenope

68. Whats your favourite Sci-fi film/program etc? ugghhhh i have so much. I like the Martian tho?

69. When playing checkers or chess do you prefer to be black or white? Black

70. Which is better, a Pastie or Sausage Roll? Sausage roll

71. Do you prefer shopping on the high street or online? Irl, I’m pretty impatient man

72. Would you ever want to learn to fly? Like, fly an airplane? Or fly as in levitate. Cause if levitate, then YES

73. Do you often read your horoscope? Nah, as accurate as they can be sometimes, I don’t really believe in astrology 

74. Have you ever had a proper Tarot reading? Eeeee no. Personal opinion, tarot cards are hella sketchy. I don’t mess with that stuff.

75. Whats your favourite brand of newspaper? Honestly at this point I’ve given up on the news. I just read stuff off of reddit sometimes.

76. Have you ever milked a cow? No

77. Have you ever used the phrase "back in my time" to someone younger than you? HAHAH one time. I realized my friend’s younger brother had never seen an iPod before and I was so baffled he didn’t even know what it was.

78. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? Love them

79. Which was the greatest Empire? Maybe Macedonian. I want to say the Romans, but god, they had a lot of problems.

80. Whats your favorite word? Catharsis.  

81. Whats your favourite sportsware brand? Adidas or Nike I guess

82. Do you buy any weekly/monthly magazines? Nah

83. Who's your favourite Superhero? uuuuh Thor 

84. Who's your favourite Villain/Baddie? Doofensmirtz. He wasn’t even bad lmao. He thinks he’s a Chaotic Evil when in reality he’s a Chaotic Good.

85. What was the last Album you purchased? I don’t purchase a lot of music tbh bc I broke, but the last album I listened to was Hot Fuss.

86. What was the last DVD you purchased? A Daria DVD I found at Walmart for five dollars.

87. What was the last piece of clothing you purchased? Some jeans.

88. When pulling crackers does everyone get one each regardless or whoever gets the big ends keeps all the prizes? I’m assuming this is some British tradition so idk

89. Do you ever make your own greetings cards? Not really.

90. Do you have a swiss army knife? I used to then I lost it.

91.At what age did you twig onto the fact Santa wasnt real? My parents never did the whole Santa thing so I always knew it was false

92. Whats your favourite fruit? Watermelon

93. Have you ever done something really unbelivable, only to have no one around to see it? Um YEAH. I was 10th grade and I was in the Martial Arts club, which was a version of Aikido. I tripped on these stairs one time going down, then I did this glorious shoulder roll and got right up. No one saw but I was so proud of myself.

94. Do you buy from charity shops? Occasionally, if I can find some. 

95. Have you ever sold your services? No

96. Have you ever raised money for charity? Yeah, it was for a school club tho

97. Have you ever won a giant sized cuddly toy from a fair? Yes uwu

98. Is the glass half full or half empty? It’s half full

[haeroniel-doliet]

dwhos here for another raaaaaant (vent)? topic is friendships but lets see where thisll go! waheyy let us insert the read more. 

kayokay okay welcome youre gonna regret this; if you havent read through my shitty vents before prepare for ilegibility and thought trains going all over the place and references to things and people youll never know okay great you got off this train? cool gives me more power to crash it see ya. 

okay where do we even begin, oh lets go wild and push out a couple topics first. one is; how shit has improved being uni and how everything seems awful brighter now; why it hasnt actually improved and im lonely as ever; how lonely have i always been; but am i really lonely or just think i should have more bc expectations; why im like this and cannot form relationships

lets start with a bit of a history dive eh eh this is what youre here for, me oversharing my life to nobody thatll read it but come on anyway bc one of the reasons i even fucking do these is because; ironically enough; i have no friends to vent this to!! nobody who actually gives a shit!! and even if they did i have a lot more words and confused thoughts to write out here that would just be really mean to inflict on someone else. 

ok so, classically as a kid ive almost grown as an only child, obviously have a big bro of 7 yrs older that i never formed more of a bond to than the one we share by sharing a family. aka we barely talk. but like i know he doesnt hate me i guess? ok im not gonna go there. its a weird mess. but. all childhood was mostly me playin by myself bc our family friends had kids his age not mine, and we moved around a bunch too and people came in and out, i guess i made ‘best friends’ pretty easily, but none stuck around longer than a year maybe 2-3. bc thats how life was and as a child i guess it wasnt a bother bc hey, let me be friends with everyone! oh but protective parents also mean mostly on my own. thats cool. im totally mature to be sitting at the adults table (there was no kids table) well early at 6-7. mhmmm 

lemme return to finland and start being an early awkward preteen! oh ill be friends with everyone! oh. everyone already has their best friend or best friend group? oh i get left on the playground alone ‘playing the dog at home while they go shopping okay playground games were lame but whaddyou do’ aight cool im okay with this theyre all my friends and im gona draw you all to make friends and nobody like actually bullies me or thinks im weird i guess, anyway school work. oh okay ill make best friends w my neighbour bc were only 7 days apart in age and thats crazy!! i guess we also make friends with lil girls next door bc were 10- 12 and thats what u do. sure. i feel rather criticised by my so called bff bc. we are not on the same wavelength, i feel dumb, im never as funny even if they are hilarious to me, i do gross things w out thinking (imagine having to be told by your friend that you need to buy deodorant when you never thought abt it) and like a bunch of other stuff like not picking up on social cues they dont wanna hang out with me or they dont think looking at funny pictures on the phone is fun... oh okay i mean i guess theyre way better than me but were still friends right? uh yeah. 

okay lets take a gap and go to uk, oh wow, SHIT people actually miss me at home?? im making friends with all these kids in my neighbourhood! oh i can be like the movies where they go down the street and hang out and have movienights awesome! who this is the best! fucking halloween w other 13 yr olds?? having hobbies w them? walking to the bus together and home together?? mad. wild. friends. lets ignore the school consisting of pricks and the only time in my school career ive gotten bullied. like classic bullying. pens thrown at me, butt touched, skirt lifted, name called, teasing my ‘naivety’ (do you work at the dildo factory? haahah. are you frigid? would you have sex with me if i bought you a burger?) oh 13-14 yr olds....  ok no its a wild really good and really shit year combined into an okay year. let me just return home and promise to keep in touch and really very barely keep in touch with any of them. thanks instagram for enabling minimal contact and keeping up w each other. 

(also back then made my first post cryin to tumblr oh why cant i have tumblr besties like everyone else seems to, please someone be my internet buddy! lucky enough actually talked to Amelia a lot, though...... 14 yr old and abt 20 smth. but we played minecraft together and made two shit youtube videos of our competition participation like. you were a good friend to me. never pushed it too far and i really liked having a mature friend. such a shame you seem to have disappeared off the internet (anywehre i know how to reach you) bc hell, i would not have been opposed to meeting you finally irl at fuckin mcm like i always kinda wanted to bc i saw ppl online do, anyway i hope ur life is good and thanks) 

kay so, finally back home weve all moved past the best friend cliques okay okay my class is actually fuckin rad like whaddu you know i dont have to aggressively swear and avoid hugs anymore (self defence from that shitty year) but actually have all these wholesome friends, ofc there were stronger relationships between some people but! i was included. i felt good. it was good. i figured out this being everyones friend thing. im a proper teen now eh. oh but i still had my best friend (briefly moirail) maxx! talking everyday at least for least half an hour if not more, skype calls... watching movies together... sending shit to canada and that one mail i got from you and planning so hard a visit there, even if it felt unrealistic. maybe even spending too much time on you and not making as many connections to my class friends as i could have, u know. stuck on my phone to always be available to you. making you more important. dunno how often id talk thru a crisis in class or however late at night bc, i wanted to be there for you! i loved being needed and being an important piece in moving thru tough times. sure detrimental maybe irl but i was being too much online anyway which i still do but were not there yet. besides, that relationship has had a bit of a roller coaster in the past nearly4 yrs (is it more?) shit that started from an rp and then slowly talking more to being moirails to being the tightest best friends “momma” and all, to your irl friends breaking it up slowly, then a boyfriend really took oyur time and we didnt talk daily lt alone ever get to call bc... shit. okay but i was friends with your boyfriend and though i saw it wouldnt last i was okay with it, like right cool thats teh boyfriend and im the bestfriend. im still involved. yeah man. oh you broke up and now talk more to me! fuck yeah. ill take your side in this regardless. lets get close again even if its not quite the same. i try join your cosplay groups though i cant help feeling me joining killed them, and i followed some you were passionate on! drew all those rad characters of you and your friends to feel adequate and appreciated. then you ad your drama, hated this kid and i wasnt even rly involved. all of a sudden, tight friends, oh i get to be in a chat w you both and a rad other person i had a mild crush on! rad. hell yeah. ive never been in a groupchat like this! this is great i love it. and the vikings came up. and your new friend left bc i was a cis girl and he has problems and could not deal with me not agreeing with his shit argument. (about my countrys history!!)  anyway. they make their groupchat, groupchats die. oh. great i ruined it. okay. i no longer know whats in your life.... oh youre best friends now? i kind of have to bug you to even get added to your ‘friends page’ as dumb as it is. i get knocked right aside as hes the bff and the greatest sweetest person ever even though he still seems like a major dick and even your cool older friend agrees with me..... a load of bullshit and weve drawn apart to barely talking once a week and ive still sent you many gifts bc i think its great! until.  yeah i wasnt gonna send anymore till you promised to set me up with cosplay pieces for christmas and i freak out to send you smth in return (never got more than measurements from me, and due to shit timing i didnt even get to be there for you opening the presents which fuckin ruined it) but whats this? a year on im fucking coming to america and conviced my parents to also go to canada???? fucking insane. still we dont talk much, the plans werent like i expected but i met you and the cool older friend! amazing! it happened! youre real! i brought you more gifts and i got pictures with you and its, it doesnt feel real still. i keep the fucking bus ticket i took from toronto to guelph to remind me. sure i didnt like get much from you back and thats kay different monetary situations and all and yeah. wild. oh but we still barely talk after? no its ok i get it youre not that good with texting people anymore (even if you kept texting you bff while i was there.... like. maybe he was having a crisis i can understand but... please you barely talk to me anymore and now amazingly im there and. you still talk to him a lot. okay...)  ‘ew were not dating were just best friends!” a month later becomes ‘this is my boyfriend and bff i love him more than anything else in the world” ‘oh but hes absolutely a huge mean prick who is super self centered and manipulative,’ and i guess you needed to feel needed like i did and dedicated everything to this shitstorm of a human but. okay... weve drifted apart further, till i demanded thru to your discord (not even active anywhere else) and try damn hard to still talk to you. but its just not genuine. i wanna talk abt important shit to me and worries about myself, but life is difficult on you and i dont feel like you do the same to me so i cant. is it no longer part of our relationship? i guess) 

anyway chapter; who the fuck cares; why i feel i can open up to internet friends more than irl ones;;coming up, the other irl exploits after 9th grade. 

internet friends are based on talking over text and emotions that come up in the moment and contacting them whenever. with irl people, ive always set a sort of boundary that like. our quota of talking is irl. i might message you online but its strictly related to irl things or smth we discussed irl, u feel? even then i mostly never message anyone (thank the two friends in uni ive talked to more than anyone else) but still. theyre people i will unload burdens to IRL when im sitting with them for hours talking about our fucked up relationships with things and life and thats beautiful. but its not consistent through life? like rn all this shit. i cant just go and vent tto you (i guess i could but who knows if youre mad busy and needa be up early tomorrow or are already sleeping or have other shit on your mind, let alone would be offednede by me being so explicit abt me feelings w friendship u being my friend.) anyway, internet friends have broken that and sometimes i talk abt dumb shit ive seen that remind me of them or i wanna get a reaction from someone about and sometimes this bullshit. but more recently, (my discord has fuckin 3 ppl) i cant. i mean. idk if ever could and now theyre just being better w themselves but i cant? Ana tries being a friend and a good online friend but. i cant take it any deeper than like, look how cool this is! yeah that is cool bc theyre exhausted and dont wanna deal w others bullshit and dont want me to deal with theirs bc theyre online to avoid it. all of which i understand but. its kind of hard to deal with. like. youre currently only passionate about your gays in southpark. two things i dont care bout jack shit (actually hate south park idec) and then your response to me just like contemplating quizzes or the way i felt in the mirror at ballet or like smth that comes up to me when im talking abt normal shit, i get an ok, i dk how to respond or, i dont really care. and wildly i love the honesty, and glad to have lines drawn for me when i dont see them, but it always feels like a smack in the face regardless. having stepped out of line and not having realised and stopped before they had to tell me to stop. like it was w that old neighbour bff. i could never tell when she wanted me to leave her alone or smth bc i was having fun! but shed be tired of it and it just. always hurt realising i was too wrapped up in emotion and myself to realise i was annoying or overstepping boundaries and im still terribly self concious about it bc i feel terrible being a bad person like that! i wanna be the perfect friend.ugh. 

the other people on my discord are maxx and the cool older canadian dan, who still is rly cool and admirable. and i feel bad. bc when i first got the dumb thing i talked to him like adults! yea! talked abt maxx and a bit of college and a bit of life and like. it was good! he said good night friend <3 which is like!!! the most wild and exciting thing it fuckin exhilirates me to be called friend in converstion like please fuck validate me being your friend!!!! (god isnt that sad and basically gonna sum up this whole thing) anyway recently im sure things have been sad or busy or hes just that kinda person but my last 4? attempts for convo have gotten no response, even when hes online (supposedly when its ok to message him) and i no longer want to say anything unless its smth im sure id get a response to. bc then im just buggering and annoying the poor guy and become annoying. (even if hes said he doesnt mind and thinks im a great person. i hope) and maxx u know. i can message, and i do, and now more than in a rly long time i- oh my god i get responses!! still they cut short. theres no, hey sorry i dont care or, hey i gotta go, or hey i dont wanna talk abt this, just. no more responses. and i guess my conversational skills are rusty and i havent written anything thatd get an easy response from them! (but stilll, should talking to friends rly require you to formulate conversation starters and talk in a way that doesnt provoke too much but is just easy enough for them to respond briefly and with no investment to make talking to me easy as possible? idk even iguess? maybe im shit at having friends and thats why i have none. shush.)

okay lets head back to irl. high school was shitty weird thing, around 10 ppl in class and i only made friends w 3? got bullied for a good couple days on a trip by 1 and another class person. terrible trying to make friends and keep friendly with everyone in a tiny school but i managed and alls good, and even still, just made friends with the most compatible people, not sure if id have been friends with otherwise. one a nervous wreck of a boy that the teacher tried to like ‘ship us together with’ but while he had a girlfriend and we managed to keep conversation joking and chill (as it should be and i made good sure of it) it was fine, he still like i a very girlfriend oriented person and i guess doesnt chat much online w other girls? im cool with it, a couple snap updates on life here an there its whatever. youre an anxious person anyway and we dont always like. work as friends. another was from japan, who id decieded to make a friend if only to have a friend in japan to visit and to teach me a bit (and teach us to make food! okay im so glad we were friends) and at school it was great enough. helped her get confident in speaking english and correcting work and sitting together at lunch and hanging out outside of school on the rare occasion schedules lined up was fab! i actually am gonna miss her. even if we werent close. and i feel bad bc idk if she wants to keep in contact, and i really suppose i should just aim to write her like a text once a month or so to keep in touch thatd be good, cover that. keep up english and so on. maybe (ps old friends from childhood pop up every now and then on social media and have the rare chat which is quite nice actually! even if im not active or keep them updated, some realtionships i like to leave lukewarm and not hateful but smth thats easy to catch up with if opportunity comes up. i actually can do that quite a lot, make good conversation and feel friendly and make acquaintances. i just. have no idea how to push them to proper active friendships (it just happens sometimes by accident) and no absolute clue how to make htat into a very close “bff we share everything i can message you whenever” kinda relationship classic media like facebook portrays idk. do i need it? i guess not but i kinda wanna know what thats like bc relationships are not a thing for me. lets make that its own paragraph) oh but also on old school friends my frustration of a few days, just. a friend that is the easiest to keep in touch with bc they intitiate and have time and want to do things, but god its annoying and i dont like them. our humours dont align and i feel judged and criticised and like. idk. dont feel great w them. theres moments of like genuine “im glad i met you bc i would have switched schools otherwise” from her and a jar of reminders why were friends and some good memories, but its just. she drains me. and i dont wanna talk deep w her. and though to some other friend it seems like we are heckin dating in secret bc of how comfortable we are and how much we end up communicating to organise things, uhm were not. i wouldnt date her ever im sorry. struggling to stay friends and have it fade to the background amicably before i do or say smth wrong and fuck it up. anyway its just bugging me and i hate it bc i feel bad for her and bad for myself and its just a mess that i dont wanna deal with that mucheven if i talked my parents ear off about it.

ok intermission to parents. in a way no. no fuck they are not my friends. my mom will never be my best friend and i dont think they want that either,being classic parents and allbut i guess, sometimes when i get past the ugh youll never understand youre so god damn annoying!! teenage phase my brain still has, i do talk to them about a lot of things that upset me, bc unlike friends, they cant decide not to care about me or stop talking to me u know. i have vented about shit practices that have really tested my self worth and lack of emotions (remind sobbing like a bitch with a mud covered ass walking home from a terrible skating practice and falling in the rain) and mom comforting thru it. mind telling them all the pent up feelings abt flatmates and analysing them to her like”well shes rly nice and we talk abt this and this but i cant help but feel she doesnt really wanna talk to me and also they didnt wanna hang out and they keep leaving their dishes and told me to clean mine but they did this and that and....” i never talk about internet friends or a lot abt other things bc. not relevant and i dont think id hear what i wanna hear. but im kinda glad i still can do that and vent to them abt like real life things and things that upset me even if its not exhaustive and i cant do everything and they dont fill the gap of this “true best friend” i have emulated. but thats a point of why im not rly lonely. bc i have outlets to a lot of these needs that im not missing it all . just dont have it all in one person or even a small group of ppl.

wht next. oh remind me to come back to group things online. anyway lets give uni a try. so weve talked abt my two impressive friends irl who take the same course as me and kind of have dragged me thru and have gone to hobbies w me and hung out w me for hours and actually come to visist me in london an been cool? yeah theyre pretty rad people and very smart and im glad theyre in my life. even if w al the ranting im not comfortable messaging them all hours of the night to talk abt all my insecuritites and thoughts and problems u know. and one is dating and both have flatmate drama and other groups of friends and tho theyre friends between each other we dont like. make the ultimate trio which is why were not moving in together ( also reminder to being called the 3 musketeers w my high school two gals bc we were seein kinda doing everything together (in school) by me sticking us all together with my “i need to feel validated with friends” glue. that was quite nice.) 

but like in uni, ive said it to a lot of people. its amazing. ive never been happier knowing this many people. i dont make drama, i almost never get included in any drama so all i get are friends!!! and having flatmates, and flatmates friends, and class mates, and people ive just met , and hobby friends i just knew so many people thatd be friendly to me and even smile at me in passing it feels great man. having multiple group hobbies and socials to go to (even if i dont drink much and its not like were partying) it feels good man. i want more of this next term now that i have no”i dont know anyone there” excuses. god i love it. i love waving to people i know, i love getting a ride from someone to go hang out t another friends place and people knowing me by name and caring about my presence! (though not too much, like nobody would miss me i guess, but i still have more of a place to carve and i cant say for sure that they did not notice me missing) anyway archery has been terrbily wholesome and one of the best things ive invested time into and im sad some of the happy faces there are leaving this summer....... and sure none of these friends have gone even to proper hugging levels, let alone talking together without a group of people or god, messaging privately if not strictly club stuff (ok theres like, a couple, one that im delighted about and cant wait to hang w in finland even tho theyre cooler than me)  but u know, same problem w. hm were friends within this hobby group. were not like. actually friends outside of this and wouldnt hang outside of it. uh. yeah. dont rly have that many that kinda friends..... just 2 in fact. ill work on that.... 

side note, i try joining in online groups like mxrp discords, and an odd skype chat for homestuck cosplayers. but its kinda the worst. i dont mind observing and reading in and commenting in my head and rarely actually participating tho nobody knows who i am, but like. nobody knows who i am or cares if im there at all. and its kind of a not great feeling. im not needed or wanted here. they just dont mind me being there u know. idk wht to do with those feelings. i dont really wanna make myself obnoxiously present and make people remember and want to talk to me and actually become immersed in it, bc these dont seem like that great people idk. i guess im too  ‘mature’ to just go omg i love you an all that. 

anyway lets dive into hmmmmmm  why am i still lonely? funny question eh. its because i have no consistent close relationships with anyone. have i ever? maxx was closest but i guess nawh here we are. i can get close to u in a night of just talking for hours but. if it doesnt carry through consistently does it count? i have a couple people to message when im delighted abt smth (heck even post to snapchat to get those lukewarm friendships to be reminded of me) and i have my parents to be sad to about a certain category of things that i share w them (like hobby frustrations and friends theyve met frustrations, and some body upset) i have this hunk of friends in uni i can hang out and chill with and will continue making better friends with gladly. im not an isolated herrmit (all the time) nor do i think im socially despicable. im just. normal. online ive felt more and more as much as i spend my entire day online w all these things im not an internet person??im not always posting on social media, im not always talking to 10 ppl at once, im not writing or creating media, im not consuming other than youtube actually, (like i dont watch shows u knw) , all i do is rp when i muster the strength and hang out lukewarm on tumblr posting rants and reblogging pretty and fun things, not getting involved much. not a fan of anything, not obsessed w anything, not overtly gay ( i dont even know what i am but girls are pretty and sex and relationships get gross as soon as you add me into the picture) and not an exciting personality. hell. i currently fuckin like ballet and archery and like. thats about it. (also hahahhahh catch me going down the abc list of hobbies, aikido, archery, badminton (w archery ppl) ballet. what next. cricket? crochet... cooking? dance (ballet) fencing gaming (hah no), hockey? ice skating ( im already doing it) like look at me anyway shh) im not trans and i dont feel gay enough to fit in (what a rant that is, but im just ignoring it for now) im so boring. too reational, too uninvolved, too unopinionated/have an opinion but prefer to keep quiet and at peace. i guess this is what normal people are like off the internet. and ill just deal with it. but how normal people fill the gap are these ridiculously idealistic bff groups that i clearly dunno how to achieve, and uh. relationships.

so i can foresee a future where an imaginative foggy figure will care about me so much and want to hear all these rants and talk about all my wild thoughts with me and love me and remind me of it and be happy around me and think im funny and make me feel good and loved and better than i am and be someone i love being aorund constantly and wont have to feel self concious with or like i need to be putting on the front that is not gross and is a lovely sociable person. like i doubt they even exist. the kind im specifically thinking off thatll make life a sunset gold and unbelievably happy and good. ill save that sunset gold feeling to my dream future, one in which im happy with my body and personality and have that shadowy figure that makes me all whole and better than im alone and all these pets and animals that i love and love me and plants and color and art and whimsical decorations and yknow. i see it in my head. it feels real good. i kinda wanna see if itll actually happen. it just. it feels so fuzzy and warm and i would love for that actually be real and look back on this and be like. i have it. everythings complete. we can dream. i might get it when im grey and old and all alone but found smth that makes it that good. anyway im not discounting that there might be ‘the one’ in that future, the perfect one. but. i still doubt in the present when or if ill ever meet them let alone if i do htat anything would happen. ive never ever dated anyone or even come close to it. i dont understand how people just, end up in relationships or almost always have one, and i guess im not trying to bc idk if i want it-  idk if im ready for it, but its a weird one ill tell u. i feel with this perfect imaginary figures all these bad feelings would go away and i could talk about them and someone help me fix them and become more and better than my thoughts. but i dont wanna look for one. i dont wanna experiment in relationships so that im ready and wont fuck it up when the one comes bc, its horrendous and stressful and im gross! im not dating material. nah. and obviously nobodys tried to date me so were all on the same page. honestly once i sort out the other things wrong w me, i might just get to therapy for this shit. like. why are relationships such a shit concept to me and like why and how do i deal with it without just saying fuck it relationshipss are not for me. i have no doubt ill keep making connections and friends throughout my life in all different random places, but im actually... kinda afraid none will stick around. if i cant form consistent strong friendships theyre al gonna fade away and ill have nobody when i need someone. having that one solid person would really help bc theyre there thick and thin i guess aparently. i have myself, but considering what a mess i am idk if thats enough at all. i think i should change myself an awful lot though before a relationship could happen. like. nobody wants a barely showering fat chubby in an awkwardway terrible skinned messy sad blabbery person. like. just a gross one. i gotta become so much better before i can even consider letting someone past to get this close i guess. i guess. these feelings are really not settling here and i feel off the rocker. like unsettled and uneasy. also i need to pee which is rly not helping feel less gross. that and my hair is nasty greasy bc rather than take a shower at a reasonable time i did.... nothing. and then i started writing this an hour, two hours ago? more? idk. 

kay then, we have reflected briefly while i was away on how fat and ugly i am and how hopeless considering ive been trying to finish a knitting project for my baby cousin and start drawing again or even just playing my old pokemon game (yknow summer vacay) things in the past few days. nawh. havent. even more productively i should have done actual exercise to build my stamina and make faster improvements in ballet and actually try and tackle the fat and ugly feeling in 8 weeks (but that like... requires diet control... which is hard?) and like o u know. finishing my fucking university course ive lied to everyone abt? ok lets be real i have passed the year and can move into the next w the credits i have and passed all the mandatory classes. but. i want/ need to pass this class. and i already forked out 30 pounds hopefully correctly to apply for a resubmission (more like first submission) of all these projects and its hard. considering in my hirearchy of shit that needs to be done (easiest most necessary first)  i havent even reached the first ladder of like washing my nasty hair. the ladder includes all the above projects and at the end of it is like completing that course (needs to be done by the end of the month u kno bitchh. u dont know how long its gonna take you cannot leave it to the last few days. and this other bulshit course idk if ill even get credit for completing late and dont know if i care but i guess i gotta do it anyway 

basically i just wanna d ie. thatd be nice. id not have to feel fat and stupid and worthless and discomfrot in my own skin and just. nasty and numb but bad all over. okay im really not feeling great bout now. but thanks to all the above weve realised i have nobody to talk to whod talk me out of these feelings and comfort me (let alone if im capable as a person to accept that considering theyd have to be very convicing to get past me going “mhmmm but youre wrong” ) 

anyway this has been terribland i havent achieved anything but feelin kinda bad. we have covered that ive never had proper friendships and that might be detrimental to me ever forming the kind of close companionship i seem to be missing, however at least i can make easy friends briefly and as such know im not a terrible person thru and thru that people hate. i just dont know how to cross that nd not be horribly annoying or how to find those kind of people bc shit and bullshit. do i need it? no i guess ill be fine. would it make my life better and more worth it? probably. id hope so. i mean it seems pretty important in human existence for there to be so damn many songs and movies and aboslutely everything focused around it. 

anyway. i know nobodys gonna finish reading this and i kinda hope i dont read back on this either. my cringey diary moments hidden under a readmore on tumblr. whats sadder.... tsk who wants to figure out how many words this all is? 

mhmmmm mmm 7 pages on word and 6059 words. damn gurl. no FUCKIN WONDer nobody wants to talk to me about my thoughts and feelings when they just erupt. bc even by erupt i mean a mild discomfort that im trying to pin down to a cause and an actual feeling so and so unsuccessfully.