#im so sorry i didnt know how to end this lol
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blueberrygiggles · 2 years ago
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i love your smile, my dear
Fandom: Good Omens
Lee!Crowley and Ler!Aziraphale
a/n: dude i rewatched good omens for the millionth time and now i need to write about it. also i haven't read the book, so this is the tv show canon! this can be read as platonic or romantic.
ao3 mirror: XX
Crowley, when he could, enjoyed visiting the bookshop. It was peaceful, it was quiet, and most importantly it had decent company.
Aziraphale was almost always there when he visited, either reorganizing the books, taking notes, translating a book, or even on the rare occasion, seeing a customer who wished to sell their book to the shop.
Sometimes they didn't talk, other times they say together shared a few drinks, they've even tried to watch human tv shows. Anything Crowley could do to get his mind of whatever he was despairing over, they could do.
This time, however, he was sitting on the couch in the back room, his legs resting over Aziraphale's lap while the other rested a book on his legs. Crowley listened to his music, some of his favorite Queen songs while his companion read. It was peaceful in a way most demons didn't get to live through. And he loved it.
He couldn't tell how long they had been there, Crowley wouldn't be surprised if he fell asleep. He didn't want to check the time, nor did he need too. He craned his neck slightly to peak at Aziraphale, he has a small smile on his face, he had yet to brung it up, but he loves the stubble Aziraphale had started to grow.
Crowley leaned back down, content to take a nap while listening to the record in the background, the rustle of paper whenever Aziraphale turned a page, but he flinched.
He felt his lips curl, his stomach grew warm, and a flush traveled to his neck. He felt a tickle.
Nails were gliding up and down his thigh, slow and light. A giggle rose to his throat but he swallowed it down.
Aziraphale likely didn't know he was fidgeting, but Crowley sure did. He couldn't bring himself to let himself react to any of the tickles lest he interrupt his reading.
His hand went lower towards his knees, Crowley slapped his fist over his mouth to keep the laugh in. Aziraphale stopped his ministrations.
"Everything alright?"
Crowley gulped, "Yes, why?"
He shrugged, "Just wondering why you jumped?"
"Chills, Angel." He said.
Aziraphale took the answer and refocused on his book. Crowley was given several minutes of reprieve before he felt the same hands back on his knee.
A giggle escaped him before he could force it back down, he thought he could keep his composure, but the squeezing, broke him down bit by bit until he couldn't hold back the snort.
"Angehehehel?"
No response, but the squeezing got faster, Crowley covered his face with the crook of his arm.
"Azihihirahaphahahale! Stahahap!"
Aziraphale closed his book, turning to face him while moving his hands up to squeeze his thighs, "Stop what, Crowley? You look a bit giggly, is something funny?"
Crowley cackled, he let his arms cover his face to hide his smile. He couldn't make out a plea let alone a full sentence.
He could barely keep the smile off his face, "You know, if you told me what was so funny, I could help."
Of course that bastard knew what he was doing.
Crowley growled through his laughs, "Yohohou assshohoholehe!"
No response from Aziraphale, he just kept tickling his thighs, each second that passed the smile grew bigger in his face. Crowley turned his face into the couch pillow, Aziraphale tsked.
"You know I love your smile, my dear."
He could feel his face warm with a flush, his senses were in fire, but he couldn't bring himself to make Aziraphale stop, not when it was kind of fun.
A lot of fun.
Whatever, he wouldn't admit that, but he was content to not tell him to stop.
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mizzical · 3 months ago
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F it, im compiling all my dra sketches below because i kind of miss drawing dra stuff
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lena-in-a-red-dress · 2 months ago
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they just met why is kara always going on about how lena needs to give her more and more? maybe that should be the end, they had a nice time , we got nice smut and they parted ways. i get why kara doesn't see them working but idg what lena is seeing in kara long term beyond her being 'normal' i guess that's enough with her life, even when kara was told that those pictures were from before they even met she still judged her and made all about how lena hurt her feelings, lena will have tabloids saying shit about her always and kara is right that they won't work long term, they don't work even now when they should be in the honeymoon period
Yall I'm writing this on my phone, my thumbs dont have that kind of stamina.
Also, as for what Lena sees in Kara... tbh I'm relying pre-exisiting chemistry that y'all know is there, even if I'm not the best at showing it here. I might embellish when I move it to ao3, but I might not.
But also part of things is that Kara doesn't really have room to shine, because Lena sucks all the air from the room. And with based looooooosely on the anne hathaway movie that sees them reuniting in like five years, I had to have them split in a relatively timely manner.
And also tbh, in case the "writing this in my phone notes" didn't convey this strongly enough-- I am pantsing this thing to the maxxxxxx. Not a single outline or bullet point in sight. Total stream of consciousness. As a rule, one can expect my tumblr stuff to be considered a stream of consciousness more than anything else. Do NOT expect it to be polished or free of plot holes.
Also also... it's a free story with our fave peeps? Didn't think it needed to be much deeper on this here tumblr dot com...
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ywpd-translations · 1 year ago
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Ride 742: Sudden death match!!
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Pag 1
1: Woah, Danchiku, oh-
And Sugimoto-san too!?
2: They passed us so quickly!! Such high pace!!
Huh!?
They're doing some sort of serious race!?
3: I get it
4: I can feel it
5: This guy....!!
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Pag 2
1: He's not giving up at all!!
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Pag 3
3: Earlier, at the line, I thought I had won this race
I thought he was far behind me and would cross the line with his head hanging down
4: And yet....
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Pag 4
1: He caught up to me....!!
2: The preliminary of this race was already done on the “second day”!!
3: That time, the result
5: was a draw!!
6: So it would be better to have a more precise result, wouldn't it
We'll decide it with this lap!! The rules are simple: the starting point line is 4km from here, the one who crosses it first wins!!
7: And then the loser shouldn't “surpass” the winner anymore!! Sugimoto-san!!
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Pag 5
1: Imaizumi-san too!!
2: …. yeah
It's better to make it clear with a proper race like this
3: So you have no regrets....!!
4: Let's go!!
5: Crush him, Danchiku!!
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Pag 6
2: At the same time....!!
Ah.... “at the same time” again!?
3: Seriously!?
Are you being for real, Sadatoki!?
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Pag 7
1: You're just seeing things as you wish they were,since he's your brother!!
Oon!! No that's not it, on!!
It's true, Kaburagi, I saw it too
2: They arrived at the same time, Sugimoto stretched at the last moment
3: Kawada!!
It's “san”!!
4: Are you an accomplice too!!
What are you talkin abut
5: A- amazing, Sugimoto-kun
6: Amazing!!
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Pag 8
1: “Amazing”, huh, Onoda
2: Imaizumi-kun....
Pfui
3: You thought Sugimoto would win? ….This race
Huh
4: You didn't think he would, that's why when we heard the results you could say “amazing”
Ah!!
5: I'm- I'm sorry Sugimoto-kun!! I didn't believe in you, even though you worked so hard....!!
Who are you yelling at
6: Me too
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Pag 9
2: During these past four days.... Sugimoto worked hard, but, after their race on the second day and after seeing how remarkably stronger Danchiku has gotten
3: When they decided to do another race, I thought Sugimoto would definitely lose
4: Then, when the time came
5: If you lose, you feel better if you gave it your all, so
6: “So you have no regrets”
7: I said that
But
8: He turned it around
Sugimoto really is amazing
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Pag 10
1: Even with no one believing in him, with only his own strength, he snatched a “draw” against Danchiku!!
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Pag 11
1: Keep going!! Let's keep going with the race, Danchiku!!
2: Even though he's having such an hard time, he's still following me!!
3: Since earlier I've increased the pace many times
4: Garuaaa
Even if I tear him off
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Pag 12
1: Every time
2: While saying
3: “Kuaa kuaa”
“Kuaa kuaa”
5: Kuaaa-
6: Kuaaaaaaa
He catches up to me
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Pag 13
2: You keep following me....
3: No....
4: You're the one who said “please follow me”, Danchiku
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Pag 14
1: Garuaaa!!
2: Ahhhh
Don't make fun of me, there's no way!!
3: Aaaaaaaa
4: Hiigaruaaaa!!
There's no way I'll lose!!
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Pag 15
1: To Sugimoto-san!!
4: I was careless – I was careless and that's why he caught up to me!! The second time too!!
I won't be careless this time!!
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Pag 16
1: Ill take a plunge firmly, throw my handles, and cross the line
2: At full throttle!!
The last curve!!
3: He's not following me anymore!! He's....
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Pag 17
1: He's here!!
Cough cough
2: Kuaaaa
We're entering the final sprint!!
3: Dammit, this guy is gonna stretch from here!!
4: Hiigaruaaaaa!!
Take a plunge!!
5: Take a plunge!!
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Pag 18
1: Throw your handles!!
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Pag 19
1: Wooooah!!
No... wait, even now....
2: It's a draw!!
Ya!!
On!!
Woah
3: Dammit, what happened, Danchiku what are you doin!!
You should be much stronger..... should....
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Pag 20
1: Don't tell me.... that Sugimoto-san.... is strong too!?
2: You.... you mean it's a draw for the third time!!
How long will they keep going, at this pace it won't ever end!!
3: …. no
5: It's a shame, but there's no time left...
6: This lap is the last
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liquidstar · 8 months ago
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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hayaku14 · 2 months ago
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hello why is kaishin more popular than shinkai or what i mean is why bottom shinichi is like the most widely believed one? lol not really in the fandom just vaguely familiar with the anime from childhood it's just my mutuals likes this ship. i'd thought shinichi being the top would be more popular given his personality.
anon sorry for the late answer!!
imma be real honest with you, anon, i've loved the kidco dynamic since i was conan-sized but i only realized kaishin should be making out around 2021 so i don't know if i'm the best person to answer this question LOL BUT, i'll give you an answer!
tbh, i think for fandom shipping in general, the main character more often than not is the chosen bottom and whoever else is the other party is topping them. in japanese media especially, the ship names are mostly born from putting the kanji of their names together wherein the order of which indicates the seme and uke. since this happens early on, we kinda get stuck with that as the popular ship name whether you prefer the other way later on.
perhaps kaishin is more popular but not entirely by a lot compared to other ships where it's completely skewed to one side. i see a lot of shinkai too. ofc there are people who prefer one way over the other exclusively and that's completely fine!
personally, i think confining them into seme and uke or top and bottom does a great disservice to the kaishin dynamic because to me we should be looking at their sub-dom dynamic more and why they're actually peak switch sub and dom!!!!
that's fucking right kaishin is actually peak switch and i will die on this fucking hill!!!!!!!!!!
when you say shinichi would be the "obvious top," i'd like to assume in your heart you actually meant "the obvious dom" (LOL) but i think that could also apply to kaito.
i think the appeal of kaishin is the push and pull between them. the give and take. they're always trying to one-up each other. sometimes one pushes and the other gives way, sometimes it's the other way around.
i will be honest, perhaps switch pairings might just be my preference but I have never encountered a pairing that felt this completely equal in the switch department more than kaishin. like for other ships i'd sometimes be like, "yeah they switch but A is 70% more dom than B." But for kaishin I'm like, "oKAY THEY'RE 50/50 THEY'RE EQUALS THEY'RE PERFECT HALVES RAAAAAHHHH"
now how does this answer your question? well, i have no proof and im going off of vibes and like i said im no veteran in this ship fandom but, i think a lot of people do enjoy the other way around as you think it would've been. it's just that...it's something that can just be filed under the kaishin tag too. because it's basically the same sometimes. the only different thing is who's topping and bottoming. like sometimes i'm scrolling through twitter and i'd see art that's giving shinkai but it's tagged as kaishin and vice versa lol.
also personally i prefer calling them kaishin because i love the letter k and i associate the name shinkai more with makoto shinkai so every time i see people refer to kaishin as shinkai, my mind just conjures up an image of kaito, shinichi, and makoto shinkai together and i know that's fucking hilariously weird but it sometimes happens!!!! LMAO so even if i'm thinking about shinkai stuff, i still prefer using the name kaishin lol.
(but having the kaishin/shinkai distinction is definitely still useful especially for people who want to filter through one way or the other so fuck yeah to the ship name shinkai you're here to stay!!!)
anyway in conclusion, top shinichi is popular too dw lol, or maybe i should say bottom kaito is popular too lol i see yalls
also sorry that this answer is not only late but also a whole essay that doesn't even straightforwardly answer your question lol my bad anon
#replies#dc prattles#anon if you're out there.....im sorry this is late af lol it was hard to gather my thoughts#ALSO KAISHIN PEAK SWITCH BABEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#also didnt mean to dunk on seme uke and top bottom but like im tireeeeed of it!!!!! like yeah it's fun dont get me wrong and sometimes it's#easier to just put characters into easy boxes like these#but!!!!!!!!!!!!#kaishin is much too complex for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#their very appeal is how they're both opposites but similar!!!!#they are not a linear contrast they are a juxtaposition in a loop!!!!!! i love them too much to not explore their nuances and intricacies!!#also i wanted to say another thing about the main character being the bottom frequently but i have no facts to back it up just vibes LOL#but i think since main characters are mostly designed for us to like them#we do end up liking them so much so that we just want to sometimes hug and comfort them#and idk i feel like being taken care of and comforted is mostly associated with people who bottom#(which btw i rly think sometimes people mean sub when they say bottom lol)#ANYWAYS i have no proof of that tho just vibes so take it with a grain of salt#also anon.....when you ask why the majority prefers a specific character to bottom.....sometimes there's no deep reason ngl like#sometimes they just want their faves to get fucked and that's okay too LMAO#btw guys i do enjoy shinkai i just like calling it kaishin anyways lmaooooo im sorry i know im ruining the archiving of kaishin but i just!#makoto shinkai existed in my mind before gay thief and detective kissing each other im sorry!!!!!!#5cm per second destroyed me okay!!!!!!#yeah also im not tagging this with ksn/snk i dont want to be perceived that much by people who will disagree lol i said i'd fight yall#for peak switch kaishin but like who tf cares honestly as long ur having fun with whatever version of kaishin you want kaishin to be then#you're good to go#anon
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gibbearish · 3 months ago
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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alxclaremont · 4 months ago
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there are two wolves inside of you: one feels impending doom at the thought of tomorrow’s race. the other feels immensely hopeful that oscar will get his first win tomorrow or at the very least a mclaren 1-2. you are a formula one fan.
#i’m literally about to fucking throw up#this race doesnt even start for another 8 hours but i feel actually sick#like this is keeping me up#(yes i have a TOTALLY normal and healthy relationship with this sport)#you guys literally dont even understand the ways of which i need oscar to get his first win tomorrow#like i can literally feel it in my bones i just KNOW he can do it#like i know he can and i really feel like tomorrow is the day for it#however i am very very scared that the more i keep thinking about it and saying it the more i am jinxing it#like i’m literally imagining everything that could possibly go wrong#but i’m also beautifully imagining the way that oscar is going to get a perfect start and overtake lando (so sorry lando)#and build a big enough gap to where he can win the race#i need the mclaren pitwall to lock the fuck in today like i am nowhere near joking when i say i will start hysterically sobbing#if they fuck it up#alternatively i will start hysterically sobbing if oscar/lando wins so really theres no winning for me in that sense#but also i cannot even imagine the amount of pressure that both lando and oscar must be under right now#like i do not know how they do it because imagining it is further making me sick#me when i develop an anxious attachment style to two drivers and also an entire sport#lol#didnt have that on my 2024 bingo#anyway so im lraying to fucking god that the race goes okay because otherwise im killing myself#and i think i am perfectly valid in saying that#im also getting lunch with my two other friends who watch f1 a few hours after the race tomorrow#so regardless the race is going to be talked about but it will very much vary oh whether or not its good or bad#anyway im going to stop talking about this now because ive been doing nothing but talking about it all day#and i like genuinely need to shut the fuck up#SO i am going to hopefully go to sleep#we’ll see how this ends up going for me#lacey talks
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malkaviian · 2 years ago
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im home earlier than i thought
#i can actually work on things yay. at least one of them#for the mav and samael story i will rewrite the first chapter#bc i think starting with mav having One of Those breakdowns bc of what happened with zachary its not the best way#i think its better to start the story showing his Unconventional Desires and Fantasies about being murdered as violently as possible#and then explain whats the reason behind them later; when the readers have an idea of who he is. and maybe wonder why hes like that#or if hes weird just because something is wrong with his brain (i mean something is def wrong with him either way.#but did something happened for him to end this way or it just happened without something being a direct cause?)#at least i didnt even got to the midpoint; i only had ~800 words. which is kind of a win for me tbh i havent write shit in months#let alone this thing is out of my comfort zone for a lot of reasons; starting with the fact its not a fanfic and everything belongs to me#and i havent touched a subject this sensitive like a p4r4philia before. of course i did my research but tbf there isnt a lot on this one#so im trying not to sound completely uninformed; just that i couldnt really find a whole lot of research on this#bc it doesnt exist on the first place. the closest is lopatka's clase; which i've read what i could find about already; its not a whole lot#anyway i am afraid of getting hate comments. something something i am romanticizing a serious subject#something something i am portraying this as a love story (im not; if the characters think so its another thing) so i must be fucked up irl#something something 'this is fucked up and doesnt cater to my direct tastes; therefore is bad and you are bad too'#of course i will put warnings but you know how people are. and if they report the story wattpad could actually take it down#a bummer but. whatever. i always have ao3 but i will have to do an extra step and translate it to english#alongside having 0 audience there. well shit just happens ig lol#this turned into a rant sorry#iván whispers
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nomairuins · 12 days ago
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aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .
#did not realize how many of my journal posts r just vents and it all looks so silly now RJRBJFBFNG aw hun. its so funny that i was#complaining abt my mom treating me like a therapist in 2017. <- his ass did notttt know. its like watching a guy standing on the train#tracks and complaining about a car driving past.#sry . i ended up on quotev just 2 look. ive never actually looked at my like activity feed very much whenever i go back but its funny bc it#rly is a more accurate glimpse into whateve was going on for miss kami (my quotev nickname).... like yasss. you hate your dads girlfriend#and her kids that is a nice problem to have#its also embarassing bc like my ex gf is just all around in here . i made a vent post like I get it im not enough and i dont matter and im#just a tool for you to use 😡😡😡 and she commented “yesss tell the world”. SO FUNNY?#and i found her being excited abt our 5 month anniversary#delightfully 12 year old activity. i do not like her very much at all and idt i ever actualy loved her#not in a bitchy way in a like. i literally questioned if i was aroace the entire time we were dating#she asked me out with a little note passed in class like circle y/n and i literally thought to myself Hm well i guess i dont have anything#going on. and circled yes. which is so funny. hun?#anyways. that all imploded bc we were 11 its whatever.#sigh. its just nice to remember the little problems i had. like obviously all this is after my dad choked me out in public and threw my dog#and etc but its still technically the beforetimes. yk. and ik the zoo isnt rly the most pressing of my things that have happened to me#anymore but its still like. Big. yk. even if i mostly just have to Be fine about it now or else everyone will think im being an awful piec#of shit asshole for still being upset. Ok sorry#also when i call my 12 yesr old self snnoying i mean it in an loving way like. its only right to be kind of annoying when youre 12 yk...#and also 12 year old kamille is Not here rn so i can be a little playfully mean to her. bc shes such a 12 year old#idk i just struggle a lot bc i am so like. far removed from everything that happened atp were on like 4th or 5th generation post that#and i struggle to put myself in That kamilles shoes and remember she was a kid yk. like obviously ik i was a kid ik i didnt deserve that#but when i try to like. put myself back in the situation and try to force myself to remember that exact day (dont do this btw . it does not#go well LOL) but i always like. i try to rebuild the events from the ground up but im not Kamille age 12 im me. witnessing everything#i wont ever be able to remember it How it acrually was i couldnt even fully remember it like a week after the fact yk. itis what itis#sorry i should prolly tag this i rambleddddd#a2t#child abuse#implied but we#animal abuse
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avallands-basement · 2 months ago
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look i love making sae be the one who's so in love and showering hajun with so much love and affection but it's much more fun to think that HE fell harder than her
#it's the she fell first he fell harder thing. gooodd hjs have such common dynamic the frustrating and infuriating type#like look at first she have a crush on him right but as a model. that girl is literally a moth she gets attracted by those with light#though at first she admires him as a model and knew him through toma- her kamioshi. though i think... she just starts admiring him a lot?#she literally went through a 'highschool crush' phase but late since she was like. at college 😭#observed him... wow he's a lot similar to her than she thought. that guy puts up a smile in front of strangers and keep people at a distanc#he looked... strangely alone. why? even though he have friends too. she saw herself in hajun and... didnt want to be like him#will she keep putting up a face too? will she keep lying to herself? and would that make her alone in the end as well? she didnt want that.#so shes like yknow what? let's be shameless. her friends had been so loving of her unconditionally.#she thought that they'll leave after highschool and yet... and yet they stayed. they keep approaching her.#and come to think of it... they're always the ones giving effort for her right? when it comes to planning for hang outs-#they're always the one to reach out. never her. shouldnt she return the favor then? love them as much as they love her#pour all her heart out. she used to do it- she can do it again. love people unconditionally without expecting anything from them.#surely this time it'd be different. surely it wont drain her. even if there's a chance they'll leave her- it doesnt matter now.#she knows she gave her everything and that's enough for her. maybe she'll feel better if she had realized this when she was a child...#but that's okay now! so for now! lesson learned: dont be hajun#but also sae. just have a different view of hajun in her head 😭??? like she admits she didnt really know hajun before but actually meeting#him must be so complicated for her lol like this guy used to be her crush! and she got to talk to him but holy shit he's lowkey an asshole😭#not even lowkey but he really is a bitch lmfaaooo so like. damn 'i forgot i used to have a crush on this guy like i used to like him???'#'in what way??? (his looks dont even deny it sweetie)' i think her crush on him in the past made her more snappy towards him now lmfao#like 'gooooddd i used to have a crush on THIS GUY??? that's making me piiisseedd' LMAAAOOO 😭😭#i genuinely have NOOOOO idea how they started having this dynamic but it's just. them lowkey insulting each other? not really INSULT insult#but rather bickering masked by politeness? like 💢^^) (^^💢 selfish ohime-sama vs black hearted prince#but the one who's usually losing here would be sae ngl and hajun's mostly the one being playful tho tbf they CAN calmly talk to each other#sometimes they just become competitive? sae herself is a competitive one at first it would be 'oho~ let's see how long he can keep this up~#to 'give up already!!!! my social battery isn't gonna last long!!!!!!!!' and hajun's just watching her lose it every time 😭😭#ah.... my absolutely pathetic daughter im so sorry..... when it comes to him she gets unreasonably annoyed. just who does he think he is?#and yet she can't even feel arrogant around him. she knows bae are on a different league than her. that's why despite being very friendly a#expressing her admiration towards them she still puts up a barrier around them? it's not that deep she have her own close friends#yumeshipping — hajusae [prri]
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29121996 · 9 months ago
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nimomo-mo · 1 year ago
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Vent
#sorry lol didnt mean to rant about my health when youre suffering#i tried to make conversation but it ended up being just me complaining again#sorry babe#thank you for the help#youre amazing#and i almost instinctively said i love you because i always do when thanking someone#honestly i say it a lot to everyone but you#understandably#i hope you dont feel annoyed by me spamming you with my inferior issues compared to yours#you cant eat either and you throw it up#i just feel gross when eating. its absolutely not the same#i hope you dont have to suffer for much longer#i hope you get to taste things again#im so tired of being anxious around you because i keep doing things wrong. but youre so kind that i cant imagine you holding it against me#i love you#fuck you#i need a hug. you probably do too. i know theres no way well ever meet up but once we do im giving you the longest hug ever#i want to hug you so good my heart melts into yours. feel like a part of you#i want to give you the piece of me that wants to be yours so i can keep going on my own#youre clumsy with your words but youre wonderful. i love you. i dont want you to hurt. i cry thinking about how unfair it is sometimes#im so happy your shit is breakikg up.bi cried so hard and its extremely embarrassing that i did. its a bit intense of me to do that lmao#i love you. of course i will cry my eyes out at the prospect of you surviving. you dont love me back so i get that i made u uncomfortable#ALSO STOP GIVING ME HOPE#“sexuality is a spectrum. who knows what will happen in the future” YOUVE NEVER FELT ROMANTIC LOVE AND IM CERTAINLY NOT THE ONE YOUD LOVE#fuck you stop giving me a sliver of hope and leading me on. i assume im an ego boost for you and thats why you keep it up but ARGH#i dont want to break my heart! im already in a perpetual pain! youre just poking fun at me by now lmao stop playing with me#“im going to tie you up and tell you all the good things about you” i would cry. i would legit cry. that might be the cruelest thing ever#it would feel like my soul getting beaten like an abused street dog. tje walls around my heart is fucking putty in your hands#i hate it. i dont want to be in love. i love you. youre sick and dont have time or energy to talk to me. i become annoying. i love you.#youre aro or at least extreeeeemely grey
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cielospeaks · 1 year ago
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ngl i kinda wish ganglot had a friend/friends who would have a dynamic w her like bill and ted + the grim reaper
#its a good dynamic! im writing a bit of heroesverse and i crave this#the closest would maybe be kukko but hes such a sofboi#maybe el? itd honestly be hilarious if kukko and el are both her buds and tormentors#like omg. she should lighten up. but i get why she doesnt bc everyone is horrible#but shes a cool grim reaper and i dig her. also maybe another idea would be the reaper in that woo parody thing bc that was cool too#gameblogging#insert comment abt how both ganglot and eitr become major players and i didnt intend to like them/initially like them#i love the archetype of 'serious guy w rivalry and the other guy is just a regular guy and doesnt care' and imo its a good twist on it#where the stubborn rival actually gets /killed/ by the 'regular guy' bc they take things too far/the regular guy has a not so nice side#it reminds me a little of jojo lol#and idk. eitr is cool too bc shes the archetype of 'horrible villain but you have an option to save them before they turn into an asshole'#its an interesting concept but usually i like villains too much LOL#or theyre just unsympathetic from start to end also lol#honestly unlikely but itd be super swag if we got a cool member of the curse directive for b5's story#i have /no/ hope for 5 (sorry i meant 6 before). like its gonna be bad i know it#but maybe faf and/or fallen faf would be good so /pray hands#i need the former for spack backstory. (side note fallen faf+ dlc horty would be great. i want them this yr but id settle for next yr)#(dream banner would be dead ursula fallen faf and dlc horty. but idk if thats even likely lol.)#oh and gunter too bc hes worth it (maybe revels the parents also? but their base forms are cool too)
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fairiily · 4 months ago
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I ALMOST SHIFTED AFTER 4 YEARS THANKS TO SHIFTBLR
i didnt think i would end up posting on this account but im too excited to not say anything about it.
so ive been apart of the shifting community on tiktok for about 4 years, but ive never had any success.
i just downloaded tumblr a couple weeks ago after deciding that shifttok was annoying LOL. i started to look at shifting here and take in some better info. i was focusing more on loa and myself rather than scavenging for some perfect “method” that was going to work.
ive been doing a lot of affirmations with loa and changing my mindset from “ugh this is so hard i cant do it” to “i have everything i want”
something felt different today, before my attempt i just knew i was going to do something and i kept telling myself how easy it is and how in control i am.
i laid down with no method in mind, just trusting my intention. i affirmed and visualized, occasionally drifiting off to sleep but never sleeping. i noticed i wasnt feeling my body much, and really tuned in to keep affirming.
i ended up seeing a bright light and then suddenly i felt like i was rising and falling and spinning all at the same time. i just *felt* something different like i was somewhere else. i kept affirming but the sudden onset of symptoms overwhelmed me bc its NEVER happened before. i ended up opening my eyes and i hadnt shifted, but i literally dont care because ive never been that close before. i just know i was so close and its because i had set intention and just knew how powerful my abilities are!
i realized ive been overcomplicating everything, theres no magic special method to make you shift, theres not one piece of advice that you havent found yet thats holding you back, all you need is you.
basically i love everyone on shiftblr fuck shifttok sorry this was so long
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evrytingbagel · 2 years ago
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reached a realization that my love for hong lu is an extension of my middle-school love for kuromaru tokisaka from uq holder
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