#im sure you didnt mean this in a mean way

[paper-mario-wiki]

i hope this alright to ask and i’m trying to phrase it as politely as possible: i’ve seen you reblog/commission art that portrays you in a few really different ways. (and draw yourself in a few different ways.) do you like being drawn as a skinny anime girl/do you prefer being drawn that way? generally i see people say skinny-fying anybody in fanart of them is rude. i’m curious about your thoughts on it, bc you’ve very well spoken and i’m sure you’ve thought about it before

whenever i come across as overly skinny in a commission, it's usually not because i told them to make me skinny, but because i didnt go out of my way to ask them to draw me large.

while it's not something im ashamed of, it is something i often feel trapped in. to be clear, i dont mean how fat i am, i mean how Large i am. im 6'1" with a big head and a broad chest, and those are things that will remain true about me until i die-- not only because dramatic cosmetic skeletal surgeries like that dont exist, but also because even if they did i'd have to cut out parts of myself to fit into a smaller vessel, and that feels wrong.

there's a sort of existential dysphoria i have about my body. i dont think it's an ugly or bad body-- in fact i think ive gotten pretty hot in the past 2 years. i just dont like that it's my only choice forever. imagine if you were in a perfectly comfortable position on the couch, but then someone came along and forced you to hold that position for 82 years, and then encased your body in concrete to be sure you cant move. that's kinda how it feels.

most of the skinniest versions of me (most of the anime ones, like the typing one i posted last night and the one i use for the visual novel posts) specifically come from Skeb, where you can only contact the artist a single time and then you have to wait for your commission without contact. in that limited frame, i like to put across the parts of myself that i actively enjoy, rather than the parts of myself that i am typically obligated to present.

do i feel bad about this omission of facts? yeah, i guess i kind of do. it makes me feel like im betraying my fellow beautiful big bitches out there. but i think that if i were to agonize over what a piece of art im commissioning of myself and for myself might mean to other people before i start to spend my money on it, i think i'd rather just never post them.

[forgottenporkbun]

Oh… I apologize, sorry if I request the Clark and Marie one. I’ll request better one, I like Tim Masky as cool gothic with long hair instead? I felt embarrassed by requesting uncomfortable things. I think Tim Masky as cool and gothic is better.

Oh- you're the person who had that previous request! I probably should've responded to it rather than delete it. I'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding with that- the wag it was worded was just kinda odd and it sounded like it was a suggestive request (im sorry if you didnt mean it that way- its just how it came across). Anyway, sure as hell i can draw Tim/Masky as a goth. This was a lot of fun to draw- thanks for this request!!

Rules for requests are here

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

they just met why is kara always going on about how lena needs to give her more and more? maybe that should be the end, they had a nice time , we got nice smut and they parted ways. i get why kara doesn't see them working but idg what lena is seeing in kara long term beyond her being 'normal' i guess that's enough with her life, even when kara was told that those pictures were from before they even met she still judged her and made all about how lena hurt her feelings, lena will have tabloids saying shit about her always and kara is right that they won't work long term, they don't work even now when they should be in the honeymoon period

Yall I'm writing this on my phone, my thumbs dont have that kind of stamina.

Also, as for what Lena sees in Kara... tbh I'm relying pre-exisiting chemistry that y'all know is there, even if I'm not the best at showing it here. I might embellish when I move it to ao3, but I might not.

But also part of things is that Kara doesn't really have room to shine, because Lena sucks all the air from the room. And with based looooooosely on the anne hathaway movie that sees them reuniting in like five years, I had to have them split in a relatively timely manner.

And also tbh, in case the "writing this in my phone notes" didn't convey this strongly enough-- I am pantsing this thing to the maxxxxxx. Not a single outline or bullet point in sight. Total stream of consciousness. As a rule, one can expect my tumblr stuff to be considered a stream of consciousness more than anything else. Do NOT expect it to be polished or free of plot holes.

Also also... it's a free story with our fave peeps? Didn't think it needed to be much deeper on this here tumblr dot com...

[boygirlctommy]

i love the bit from oct 17 2020 when tommy and quackity trapped wilbur in a cobblestone box to keep him from pressing the button... wilbur punching through the blocks with his bare hand to try to get to the button... tommy frantically replacing the block in front of him yelling for quackity to do something... the moment when tommy stops, blocks the exit, and tells wilbur to do it. press the button. but then theyd die with him. quackitys like "wait, wait-" but tommy holds his ground and wilbur. ohh wilbur. "why'd you have to make it so hard?"

[goldengrecha]

That's all I have for you today guys.

[canonkiller]

do you consider your self made?

[daily-hanamura]

[moeblob]

You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

not to brag, but my therapist told me today that i did incredible during our emdr session, which means i get an A for the day in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve 🙂‍↕️😌

[floralovebot]

i know there are only like five of us but i feel like garth stans really don't talk enough about how left out he feels with the titans. dick and wally are Best Friends. donna and roy are on and off again. dick and donna are too much to explain. on average, roy is close with at least one of dick's siblings. dick donna and wally all go on to be in the new teen titans. garth isn't Close with any other titans but the originals

and it's this thing where,,, it's not his Fault yknow? he's not mean or spiteful or creepy or anything that would warrant them not liking him as much. he joins in on their jokes, he risks his life, he shares his feelings, he does everything that he knows friends do. but just the virtue of him being atlantean and them being land dwellers ruins everything. he Can't spend more time with them, he doesn't understand their culture, he will always choose atlantis.

they'll always be his friends but he can never truly be with them or form deeper bonds. he'll always be the last one to know what's going on, the last one they call, a complete shadow and afterthought.

and sure there's a part of him that knows this, that feels bitter and lonely. but he can't even be that mad at them because he does the same thing. the titans are never his first thought, he never calls them first, he doesn't reach out and ask if they're okay, they're always the last ones to know what happened to him. the titans are such a huge part of his life but they're barely in it.

there's just something so inherently lonely about garth that i feel most dc writers don't understand. they just don't get it. they don't get what it's like for this boy who was all alone, never had parents or a family, suddenly being taken in and having to act like he knows how to be a son, a friend, a partner. meeting kids his own age and wanting to bond with them so bad, having to watch as they all get closer to each other and leave him behind, not being able to do anything about it. never being taken seriously, always the last choice... garth man.....

[senseiwu]

I just can't believe the FSM being a bad person, or parent, like so many seem to think.

Mystaké spoke highly of him, and the only reason Firstbourne let him ride her was because she sensed the goodness in his heart.

And in the scenes we've seen of him, he's been patient and caring with his sons. I'm still shook that he didn't get angry at them fighting on the boat. He just chuckled and gave them advice.

And apparently they had campfires, and Wu and Garmadon did okay on their journey as teens, so they probably went camping too??

I will fight for trying-his-best-good-dad FSM.

Bro had no parents, people coming after him since he was a kid... he probably had no idea what a regular childhood was like. But I strongly do believe that he tried his best with Wu and Garmadon.

[canarydarity]

having a normal one watching Bdubs lim life tonight and thinking about how when Bdubs betrayed Tango in last life, Skizz told Tango that for the sake of team best he had to go and forgive him.

But when Bdubs boogey kills Skizz in lim life before team ties is even really formed, Skizz is allowed to have it out for Bdubs for almost the entire first half of the season, even when the clockers ally with them and it would've been easier to let sleeping dogs lie.

Tango, the perpetually extraneous and undervalued member of his alliances...the too often shoved aside and betrayed...being told it was his duty to the team to forgive bdubs and move on....

But no one—especially not Tango—tried to tell Skizz to let it go.

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

[ratatatastic]

wait what was the media storm during game 7?

media storm as in after going up 3 and dropping the ball the next 3 there was a lot of headlines/media attention that was bandwagoning on edm and calling the cats the worst sports meltdown in history because of the possibility of a reverse sweep when in their opinion the cats shouldve closed this out long before and pauls talked about it right after winning the cup especially the whole TURN THE TVS OFF episode

and montys mentioned walking in on game 7 and seeing the tvs still on when they were supposed to be off (presumably because of said media from what we know of because of what paul said)

lets not even mention how pro-edm a lot of the tnt panel was even during the series and spittin chiclets was notoriously very pro-edm its why during the cam&strick podcast when they bring up the whole "do you pay attention to media? do you know whos on your side?" to ekky (especially considering how much pressure they were under the whole finals) that ekky brings up the spittin chiclets podcast like "i saw all those spittin chiclets guys all over edms bandwagon" and then proceeds to try not elaborate too much about it

[puppyeared]

adhd comix

[hirazuki]

Hira's year in medical review:

Me, August 2023: *experiencing extreme fatigue, fainting spells, mood swings, sudden and drastic increase of suicidal thoughts, and intense hair loss*

P.A: let's do blood work

Me: ok!

Bloodwork: *normal except for prolactin*

Doctor: sometimes that's a fluke so let's retest

Me: ok

Bloodwork: *exactly the same*

Doctor: your values are higher than normal range, but not high enough to be in range for a pituitary gland tumor.

(P.A: go see an endocrinologist and get an MRI, that might be indicative of a pituitary gland tumor.) <- bless this person and only this person in particular

Endocrinologist, seen earliest available which was January 2024: *wants to retest blood work instead of ordering an MRI*

Me: ... ok

Bloodwork: *the same*

Me: can we please do an MRI now?

Endocrinologist: Well. Your values are above the normal limit, but it's highly unlikely that's it's a pituitary gland tumor because they are not high enough for that. Let's retest blood work in four months.

Me: ...................... ok

Bloodwork, May 2024: *THE SAME*

Endocrinologist: hmm, I recommend an MRI

Me: *gesturing angrily*

MRI, June 2024: 🎉 pituitary gland tumor 🎉

Doctor, when I went in for something else: I doubt your endocrinologist will want to treat that, we typically don't treat adenomas that small

Endocrinologist, who took 3 weeks to review my results: I recommend just monitoring. It's highly unlikely that this is causing your symptoms, it's too small for that.

Me, July 2024: