#i hid everything!!! emotions are Bad To Show!!!
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whiskey-tango-matcha · 4 months ago
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not to brag, but my therapist told me today that i did incredible during our emdr session, which means i get an A for the day in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve 🙂‍↕️😌
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realisticjupiter · 9 months ago
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haihaii!! your profile has been like.... THERAPY to me bc the aib fixation is back AND ITS STRONG ESPECIALLY TOWARDS CHISHIYA 💔💔💔 i love the way u write as well !!
so with this could i request a touch starved chishiya... like a chishiya that needs readers attention so bad but is too embarrassed to downright tell them "I WANT CUDDLES" or smth... still he does everything in his power to get readers attention atp the only thing left is to just BEG
also could i be 🎶 anon ? i picture myself being very active here from now on... have a nice day!!
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Summary: Chishiya can't sleep without you.
Genre: Fluffy
Pairing: Chishiya x gn!reader
Warnings: None! :)
Word count: 784
a/n: Aghhhh i hope this is okay!!!!! That is actually so sweet of you, I'm so glad you've liked my account!!!<3 And ofc you can claim an emoji, hello 🎶!!
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Chishiya tried everything to get you into bed with him. He tried seducing you, gaslighting you, and of course his manipulation tactics didn't work either.
All you were focused on was trying to fix the phone from last night's game. It was still on, so you thought it would be easier to get into before it powered off.
Every time he'd call your name, you'd brush him off. Mostly because he always used a certain tone of voice you've become far too familiar with when he tries to get what he wants.
All he wanted to do was kneel at your feet to tell you exactly what he wanted. To tell you he just wanted you to hold him, to tell you all he needed was your attention.
But he couldn't. He never has been able to ask for help, or ask for anything without feeling vulnerable for that matter. He was closed off, that's what people knew about him; that he didn't show those types of emotions in fear of being belittled.
Chishiya could feel his eyelids getting heavy and his eyes burning from keeping them open, but he knew no matter how hard he would toss and turn; he wouldn't be able to sleep without you.
It was pathetic, he'd admit that. It was a loop he found himself getting stuck into, and found there was no way out of it. He hid it pretty well, though. Through late nights where you'd fall asleep alone and wake up to him beside you. You truly had no idea he struggled so much.
He was so tired. He'd do anything if you'd just stop and sleep already.
And he found his last option, the one thing he dreaded the most.
"Y/n?" Chishiya whispered, his voice husky as he climbed out of bed and walked towards you with slow steps.
"What?" You hummed in response, never peeling your eyes away from the task at hand.
"Please," He spoke underneath his breath in an almost incoherent whisper as he stopped to stand beside the chair you sat in.
"I don't know what you want, Chishiya. No one is keeping you awake." You sighed, watching from the corner of your eye as he stood by your side, rubbing his eyes with his palms.
"You're keeping me awake." He murmured, watching your hands as they played around with the device's motherboard.
"How?" You said in defeat, finally turning your attention to him. You looked up at him with your hands thrown in your lap, clearly waiting for his response.
He let out a huff as he looked around the room; avoiding eye contact. When he finally looked at you, his eyes were soft and glassed over.
His next sentence was incoherent.
"What?"
[inaudible]
"Chishiya. Speak up, please." Your words were soft as you stood up from your seat, placing your hands on his upper arms.
"I can't sleep without you." He finally spoke, his words finally registering in your mind.
When he realized you had finally heard him, he felt like he could say anything. And with his new found confidence he continued to speak.
"Why is it so hard to ask you to touch me?" He breathed, letting his head fall onto your shoulder.
You smiled at his soft demeanour. You knew how hard it must've been for him to admit something so close to himself, especially since it was about you. You've found a new side of Chishiya you haven't seen before.
You brought a hand to comb through his hair as the other scratched up and down his bare back, "I'm sorry, Chishiya. I should've just read your mind." You whispered against his shoulder as you held him close to your body.
Your words were an obvious tease, trying to humor the situation at hand. Which did make Chishiya snicker.
"You should have. You've always been able to." He muttered, wrapping his arms lazily around you.
You smiled warmly as he spoke, pulling away to drag his hand towards the bed. You climbed in with him closely behind you. He waited for you to get comfortable, before he joined you under the covers to tangle his limbs with yours.
"I'm proud of you, Chishiya." Your sultry breath hit his forehead as you mumbled against his skin.
He stared down at the way your bodies fit together, processing your words with a smile he knew you couldn't see.
"Now go to sleep, 'm here." You spoke once more into his skin, kissing his forehead and massaging your fingers into his scalp.
His cold fingers danced around your bare skin, trying to bring himself impossibly closer to you before his body fell limp into a night's sleep.
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reposts and comments are appreciated <3
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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 4 months ago
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Chapter 23: Extreme Makeover Backyard Edition
Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV
Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter twenty three of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)
Word Count: 9.1K
Warnings: I'm going to label this one 18+ because it handles some heavy subjects!  Angst, Cursing, Nudity, Mentions of Abuse (sort of- it's more the reader being used without knowledge of it and I'm not sure what to call that), Numbness, Depression, Mental Health, Brief mentions of graphic death, Brief mentions of graphic torture, Mention of gore, Mention of death, Mentions of character going through some HEAVY EMOTIONS and INTERNAL TRAUMA, Fluff, Sexual References, Family Problems. Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.
Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
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Reader POV
You fall on your hands and knees in the soft grass of Legend's front yard, falling from the sky like a comet as it's glow fades and burns for the last time before striking the earth. You don't remember how you left Stan's apartment, don't remember flying here, don't feel anything, not the humidity that comes with the rising sun, not the cold kiss of dew against your skin, all you feel is the cold creeping numbness that trickles through your veins.
The memories of what you did come in flashes, but they do nothing. They do not evoke remorse nor pain, they haunt you, but do not bring tears to your eyes.
You open and close your hands, letting the blades of grass crush beneath your fingertips, but you don’t completely comprehend where you are, or how the hell you got here. All you feel is weakness tugging at your every muscle, threatening to drag you under the rising tide. You felt electrified, but so tied at the same time, everything and nothing. What happened seemed centuries ago and also seconds ago.
There was no anger, no remorse, no pain, no horror, no shock, there was nothing, only the chill that clung to your skin on the warm summer morning. You could see Stan’s death in your mind, watch his body collapse in on itself under your power and yet it did nothing to you.
You're not sure of anything anymore. Who you are, who Rosemary is- everything you knew is gone and you're not sure what's left behind, not sure what will come crawling out of the shell you were now. You knew you should be afraid, but another voice in your ear whispered so should they.
Someone grabs you by the shoulders, hauls you up off the ground, raising your gaze from the wet grass.
Ben looks furious, mind you, he always seemed to be angry when it came to you. You wondered if that was because he loved you or if it was because the two of you were fated to kill each other one day.
Or maybe it's a healthy combination of both.
He's wearing his jeans again, his dark hair falling forward into his eyes that burn with the force of his rage, but as soon as he sees the dried blood coating your cheeks, hair, and body, you watch worry begin to spark behind his glowing green eyes.
You register that deep down his anger and worry comes from a place that he'd hidden from you for eighty years, his love for you, the love that he was no longer hiding. But the chill still rose in your chest like the first frost of winter.
"Fuck." Ben mutters, moving his hands along your body, boldly looking for injuries, but he doesn't find any. "What the fuck happened? Why did you leave?"
You don't answer him, instead you take in a shallow breath, filled with the smell of fresh cut grass and Ben's musk. You're trying to find your voice, but it's difficult for you.
"Y/n are you alright?" He asks it, firmly gripping you by the shoulders, trying to shake you back into reality. You can hear the way the anger in his voice has shifted to something else.
"It's not mine Ben." Your voice is no more than a whisper as you stare blankly at him.
"Whose is it?"
You can't answer him, the only thing in your mind is Stan's words to you, the secrets he kept for forty years coming to light, the terrible things that he and Vogelbaum did. You want to tell him, tell him about what you know, but you can't find the words, can't find the thoughts to follow them.
"Sweetheart?" Ben furrows his eyebrows together, tilting your face to look at him. His hand softly strokes against your cheeks not understanding why you’re acting like this. “Are you alright?” 
His voices sound like you’re underwater, a murmur, a buzz, just a shadow of the deep rumble you love so much, the voice you thought you'd never hear every again.
Ben says your name again, with such urgency that it snaps you out of it for only a moment. The smoke clears, but what’s left barely has the strength to cling to him as you collapse into his chest. Your body shakes uncontrollably, tears soaking through his thin t-shirt, unable to do anything else, but clutch him tighter against you.
"He's our son Ben. They stole my-" You can't find the words, can't find your voice, it sounds hollow. "Stan he and Vogel-." But your voice breaks again and you shudder against Ben's chest, the numbness coming back to drag you under.
Ben doesn't hesitate, he picks you up as if you weigh nothing, tucking your head under his chin as he goes and turns back towards the house. You barely register his picking you up, can’t seem to focus on anything, breath coming in shallow gasps, body still shaking. Ben tightens his arms around you as if trying to comfort you as he walks through the front doors.
“Is she alright?” Rosemary’s voice is close, but you don't raise your head from Ben's body.
“Fuck, there’s so much blood.“ Hughie adds and you can imagine him standing beside her, his eyes wide.
Guess that means he survived Mindstorm.
Your only hope was that Lou was already in bed, that she wasn't watching Ben carry you soaked in blood through Legend's house.
“It’s not hers.” Ben replies gruffly, still moving towards the staircase. He wasn't stopping and you were thankful for that, you didn’t want to talk to anyone and didn’t want to have it out with Rosemary. You were so tired, tired of fighting and of trying. You didn’t want to yell at her, didn’t want her to yell at you, all you wanted was to slip deeper into the darkness.
"Shit, she's just as fucking unhinged as Soldier Boy is." Butcher mutters under his breath wherever it is he's standing.
“Wait mom talk to me-“ Rosemary tries again.
“No.” You murmur into Ben’s neck. Stan’s revelation rings in your ears once more, betrayal momentarily clawing its way from the pit before the cold feeling comes back to drag you under.
Because it felt like she had betrayed you. All these years you thought that Vought left the two of you alone, but no, it was a lie. And if she'd done that, what else had she done to ensure your freedom?
“Please-“ She sounds broken, and it strikes something inside, because she's never sounded like that before. Rosemary was strong, stronger than you ever were.
But then the word makes the memory of Stan’s body snapping and twisting beneath your control come roaring back, his pleas for the mercy he didn’t deserve exhaled on his dying breath, as you turned him into nothing more than a lump of flesh.
You gasp, another shudder shaking through your body and you don’t answer and don't raise your head.
"Wait Ben-" She says his name, but Ben doesn't stop.
"She doesn't want to talk right now." Ben's tone is controlled, but you can hear the trickle of his rage just on the edge of his inflection. "And I'm not going to make her." He continues walking down the stairs and Rosemary does not follow.
Ben doesn’t put you down on the bed, instead he takes you to the adjoining bathroom. It’s bigger than your bedroom back at your apartment with a walk in shower big enough for five people to stand in, a giant vanity with two sinks, a jacuzzi, and a bathtub big enough for three. Legend never spared any expense when it came to that sort of thing.
Ben slowly places you on the vanity but when he pulls back you grab the front of his shirt. “No.” You breathe suddenly terrified. The terror of Ben leaving cuts through it all, followed by a wave of horror and fear.
If he leaves they’ll come for me again. They’ll come take me or Lou.
You were afraid to be alone, didn’t want him to go, not after everything that happened.
“Shhh.” Ben soothes you, brushing your hair back, “It’s alright sweetheart I’m just getting a washcloth.”
You relent, hand unfurling from his shirt, and he comes back with it, wetting it with warm water before he begins to drag it over your face as gently as possible. His eyebrows are furrowed with concentration, but you don’t move, you only stare at a point over his left shoulder not really comprehending what’s happening.
What happened to Stan comes back in flashes, black and white photographs followed by the bits of conversation that unmade you, the revelations that would haunt you for the rest of your life.
Ben sighs. “Well. I don’t think this is helping at all.” He throws the washcloth into the sink and gently cups your chin, turning your gaze on him.
You blink a few times to focus your eyes.
“Look sweetheart I know you don’t want me to leave, but you gotta get in the shower. I can’t get it all with this washcloth and the last thing I want is to put you in bed covered in blood.” He searches your gaze trying to make you understand what he was asking but you don’t respond.
He leans his forehead against yours. “Honey please you gotta say something. You’re scaring me.” Ben’s eyes meet yours, wide and for the first time in years you see genuine fear.
You let out a shallow breath, but don’t say anything. You can’t find your voice. Instead you gently touch his chest just over his heart. It’s a small gesture, but it’s enough for Ben.
Ben closes his eyes for a minute as if trying to make sense of it all. “Okay.” He breathes, opening his eyes again to look at you, care and concern charging the air between the two of you. “Can I take off your clothes?”
You nod once, eyes still focused on the white tiled wall behind him.
“Okay.” Ben gently pushes the leather jacket back from your body. It falls back on the counter in a bloody heap, staining the white countertops with flecks of dried reddish-black blood. “I need you to stand up for me sweetheart.” Ben says, holding you firmly by the waist and pulling you off the counter.
You stand there for a moment, unsteady on your feet, staring blankly ahead of you.
“Arms up.” Ben whispers.
You raise them above you head and Ben removes your shirt and bra before moving to your pants. “Hold on to me.” He places your arms around his shoulders as you step out of your shoes, pants, and panties.
If you’d been in your right mind maybe you would have worried about this moment, worried about Ben seeing you naked again after all these years. He’d only ever seen you the one time, but somewhere deep down registered that this was different. It wasn’t sexual. There weren't any expectations and there was nothing to be embarrassed about. This was Ben keeping his promise and taking care of you the way that he always had.
He steps over to the bathtub, running his hand under the stream of water to check the temperature.
"Come on.” Ben gently leads you over, your small hand in his and helps you step over the side of the tub and into the warm water.
Steam rises around your body, but the water feels lukewarm. Your gaze levels at the water that streams from the spout on the edge of the tub, not looking up at Ben as he switches the water to the handheld shower head.
"Tilt your head back for me honey." Ben murmurs, touching your chin with your free hand to tilt it back. "Eyes closed."
You do as he says and feel the water trickle through your hair and down your back, followed by the gentle scrub of Ben beginning to work shampoo through the strands. He works quietly, catching the suds that threaten to fall into your eyes. Your hands are folded in your lap, eyes still closed, feeling the steady way he cleans your hair and then your face.
As you sit there the memory of everything that happened with Stan begins to trickle in, causing an uncontrollable shudder to shake through your body. Ben's ministrations were doing little to make the cold feeling dissipate, if anything you could feel it sinking into your bones.
"It's alright sweetheart, I'm almost done." Ben says, and you feel his thumb stroke against your cheek for a moment before he continues to wash your hair.
"Sit here for a second. I'm going to go get you some clean clothes."
You open your eyes and watch him go. The water in the tub is red now, the last remnants of Stan's blood scrubbed clean from your body.
The fire would destroy any evidence that you'd been there and washing the clothes that you killed him in should take care of any other problems.
When you're dried off and in your own clothes, you stand in the bathroom and catch a glance of yourself in the mirror. You look hollow, broken, eyes miles away, skin a little paler than normal. You don't look like yourself, but you also don't feel like yourself.
"Come on, let's get you to bed." Ben says and you feel him pick you up again, carrying you to the bed as if you weigh nothing.
You mechanically go through the motions of getting under the covers, pulling them up almost over your head as you curl in on yourself, making yourself as small as possible. You shut your eyes to try and make the images of what happened go away, but you can't fight the ebbing darkness that comes to welcome you home. It's familiar. The same one that you fell into when Ben broke your heart and you thought he died. The pit was opening beneath your feet once again, and you wondered if you'd be able to pull yourself out this time.
Ben changes into a pair of faded sweatpants, before he crawls into the bed behind you under the covers, putting his arm up over your waist to pull you into him. You turn in his arms so that you're chest to chest and can bury your face into his shirt, inhaling the familiar scent, trying to rid yourself of the images and of the things you learned a few hours ago.
"It's alright Sweetheart, I'm right here." You can feel the rumble of Ben's voice in the palms of your hands where they curl against his soft shirt. The weight of his arm over your waist is familiar as is the heat of his body, the warmth you expected to wipe away the cold feeling that crept along your spine drowning everything else out of your head.
It's quiet for a few moments. Ben's hand is gently trailing up and down your spine, but sleep is miles away for you.
"I'm trying real hard not to be mad at you Sweetheart, especially when you're like this but-" Ben sighs, rubbing his hand up and down your back. "You lied to me. What were you thinking going off alone and-" His tone has shifted into more of a growl, the one he gets when he's about to yell at you.
If he had yelled at you, you wouldn't have reacted, you were just so tired of everything, couldn't focus on anything.
Ben's body tenses. It was as If he was physically trying to hold himself back from being upset, but you couldn't answer him. It had seemed like a good idea when you went, seemed right, but now you weren't sure.
What you had learned changed you, and you weren't sure if you'd ever be able to go back to the way you were.
He's quiet for a minute, before finally he presses a kiss to your forehead, and you bury yourself further into his chest. "I love you." He murmurs. "I promise I'm not going to go anywhere."
But you barely hear him, the only thing you hear is the low buzz of fluorescent lights and Vogelbaum's voice telling his staff to keep you quiet.
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Soldier Boy POV
He didn’t know what to do. In all the years he’d known you, Ben had never seen you like this. He’d seen you upset, angry, sad, but never this.
It had been three days since you came back covered in blood, three days of you laying in bed refusing to speak, curled up into his chest.
Ben had tried to get you to eat something, but when you wouldn’t do it by yourself he had to spoon feed it to you, as if you couldn’t remember how to eat.
It scared him.
Ben hadn’t ever felt fear like this before in his entire life, but now, seeing you so distant and cold, he was terrified. He worried that you’d never come back.
Mindstorm had told him the truth about Homelander and as angry as Ben was about that, he couldn’t understand how Homelander was also your son. He’d never heard you say anything about them taking something from you for genetic testing, never spoken about willingly giving up your genetic material.
So then how the fuck did they get it?
There was something sinister that danced on the edge of his mind, something that seemed too horrible to consider, something that meant that Ben had failed to protect you, had failed to keep the promise he made eighty years ago.
But deep down Ben wondered if it was true, because as much as he knew you hated killing people, this seemed different than you usual reaction.
He held you closer to him, curving his body around your back as you slept soundlessly. You were holding on to his hand while you did, fingers entwined with his, holding it against your chest while you found some peace.
Ben was honestly waiting for another nightmare. Each time you’d fallen asleep over the past three days you’d woken up gasping for air, shaking uncontrollably, with tears rolling down your cheeks. Ben did what he could, brought you into his lap and held you tight, reassuring you that it was okay, that it was only a dream.
He was trying not to be angry, but he was. He was furious when he got back to Legend’s two days ago and discovered that you were gone, that you’d left to go off and do God knows what with Homelander flying around. Rosemary refused to tell him where you were only told him that you left but that you’d be back. Ben hated that you made him wait around like a fucking woman waiting for her husband to come home.
He had intended on yelling at you, at making sure you knew how pissed off he was that you did the one thing he told you not to do, but then he saw you land in Legend’s front yard looking like you had taken a shower in someone’s blood and he couldn’t. Not when he feared that the blood was yours and not when he saw how broken you were.
Ben had loved you for a long time, understood you, saw how strong you were, saw that you always spoke your mind no matter what, and to see you like this was… petrifying. He didn’t know what had happened, didn’t understand how something you learned could effect you this much.
He too was still reeling from the revelation that Homelander was his son, felt an even greater sense of betrayal because Vought should have let him give the team to his son, pass it off like a king giving up his throne. And after the night that he had spent with you all those years ago, Ben was ready to give it up, to walk away and give you the life that you always wanted away from the spotlight.
Ben figured that Stan had told you Homelander was your son, and maybe that’s what this was. Ben had been dreading the conversation with you when he got back to Legends, the conversation in which he was going to have to tell you that Homelander was your son too. He didn’t want to hurt you all over again with news like that.
I guess I don’t have to.
Ben thinks to himself listening to the soft beat of your heart, pushing his face further into your hair where it hangs over your shoulders. But he's not sure that this is better.
When he wakes the bed is empty.
“Sweetheart?” Ben says looking around the bedroom. He strains his hearing to see if you’re in the bathroom or upstairs but he doesn’t hear you. Fear grips his heart.
Fuck. Where did she go?
Thunder shakes the house, rattling the windows as Ben looks around the room, brief flashes of lightning illuminates the vintage furniture, but you aren't sitting on anything. The sliding glass doors on the back wall of the bedroom are open, allowing rain to sweep through onto the carpets, water flooding towards your now cold side of the bed.
Shit.
Ben all but jumps out of the bed and rushes to the sliding glass doors, looking beyond into the darkness of Legend’s backyard. Lightning skates across the night flashing bright white, and catching where you stand in the grass. You’re looking up at the sky, soaked to the bone, but seemingly unnerved by the weather.
“Sweetheart?” Ben shouts over the sound of the thunder, but you don’t move. “Are you okay? Did you have another nightmare?”
“It’s not a nightmare.” You murmur into the storm, your eyes still focused on the sky, looking up at something that he can't see.
“What do you mean?” Ben gets closer to you, his feet sinking into the wet grass, rain saturating his clothes every second he stands out there with you. Ben was trying to understand, was trying his best to do what you needed, but he was worried that he was failing, that maybe he needed to take you to a hospital. He wasn't sure how to explain that to anyone if he did take you to one.
If anything he thought that you'd want to talk things out with Rosemary, but you hadn't wanted anything to do with her at all. That was the most surprising, that you didn't want to speak to her, didn't want her around. She had tried to come down to the bedroom, but you hadn't looked at her, you'd only clung tighter to Ben and said no. He wanted to know why, what Stan had told you to make you not want anything to do with her.
He was happy that Lou hadn't come down with her, he didn't want Lou to see you like this, didn't want it to haunt her the same way it was haunting him. He had heard Lou ask about you when he was laying in the basement beside you, and she had found him in the kitchen getting you something to eat and had hugged him tight and asked where you were. There were tears in her eyes when she did so and Ben told her that you weren't feeling well, but that he was taking care of you. There was a hand-drawn card on your bedside table from her filled with a picture of Lou holding out a bouquet of lavender to you that she asked him to give you.
“It really happened.” You close your eyes, head tilted up at the sky.
Lightning crackles across it, striking close to where you're standing, but you don't move an inch.
Ben stops mid-step. Your words sink into his soul, burn against his ribcage, anger surging up to replace the chill of the rain that clings to his skin. Because it meant he failed. It meant that the promise Ben made to you all those years ago was worthless, that he'd failed to protect you.
He thinks about all the time he wasted with other women, chasing after them, ignoring you. He thinks about all the moments he should have spent with you instead.
Maybe I would have figured it out if I wasn't so damn selfish. If I hadn't fucking cared about those stupid movies, or commercials, or the shitty interviews. I failed because I didn't put her first and I allowed this to happen.
“Stan told me.” You continue. "I wasn’t supposed to remember, but my mind knew. It was trying to tell me all these years but I just ignored it. Fucking pushed it away because I thought my mind was messed up from living this long. But it really happened."
“When?”
“I don’t know. All I know is that he said they did it when you were on location shooting a film. That they were too afraid to take me when you were still there.”  You're still not quite looking at him.
Ben felt the words like a punch to the gut. Why did I ever shoot any of those stupid films? Why didn't I take her with me? Why didn't I make up some stupid reason why I needed her there with me? Why didn't I tell her sooner how much she meant to me?
Ben remembered the first time you had the nightmare in front of him, he had just gotten back from shooting a film overseas, one that he could barely remember only that he literally had sand in every crevice of his body after each day of shooting. He remembered how happy he was to see you when you answered the door of your small apartment, how you smiled at him, but you seemed more tired than usual. Ben had missed you more than he knew, he had tried to call while he was away, but you hadn't picked up. He remember thinking that was odd. You always picked up the phone or at least always called him back, but you hadn't.
“They knew I’d say no. Knew that I wouldn’t want to raise a child under Vought’s watchful eye and instead of respecting that, they-" You stop mid sentence, your body has begun to glow bright purple, not just your eyes, there's a thin film of purple radiating out from your body, tracing your outline with a heavy hand, glowing brighter than the lightning that flashes across the sky. "Stan wasn't even ashamed. He was proud of what they made. Proud of what they did to our son."
As soon as you utter the word 'son', the ground begins to shake under Ben's feet, grass shreds in the air all around him, and the storm grows worse by the second. There's a terrible cracking sound and the trees on the edge of Legend's property snap, loosing their limbs to flashes of purple energy that wash away into the darkness with the force of your power.
Ben could feel the same power trying to push him back from you, push him inside the house, but he fought it, continuing to take more steps towards you.
“After all these years he wasn’t afraid of me. He was afraid that you would show up and make him pay.” Ben can see your body shake. “Everyone was always just afraid of you. All those years I worked so hard to make sure you didn’t kill anyone and for what? So they could take advantage of me?”
Your body begins to rise off the ground, glowing brighter and brighter. Until Ben almost has to look away, his body still being forced backwards. In all his years of watching you use your powers, he's never seen you do anything remotely like this. This didn't seem like just telekinesis and Ben wondered who else had killed you over the years, if it had happened before and you just hadn't cared to tell him, or if it had happened in the years he'd been away.
"Sweetheart please." Ben tries to say again, but it's swallowed up in the howling of the wind.
"All those years I gave Vought everything. I let them dress me, tell me what to say, inject me with that shit. I was everything they wanted me to be, and they used me just like I was a fucking doll for them to play with!" Ben can hear your teeth clenching together in rage, your powers spiking again so that now there is shredded earth, grass, and trees, whirling around the two of you swirling together in a vortex that flashes with purple energy. "But no more. They're all going to pay."
"Y/n-"
You were still rising off the ground getting further and further from Ben's reach and he was scared. He'd never seen you like this before, never seen you lose control or seen you this angry. Sure he pissed you off and you'd occasionally throw a couch around the room, but this was almost insane.
Fuck I should stop pissing her off.
Ben could feel his own rage surging in his chest when he understood exactly what Vought took away from you, when he understood exactly what Vogelbaum had done. But at the same time he was ashamed that he hadn't been there for you, that he hadn't been able to protect you from them, and that he hadn't known the first time you had that fucking nightmare and woke up screaming when he was in bed beside you.
"Sweetheart!" Ben finally shouts, grabbing your hand. As soon as his skin touches yours he feels like he's stuck his finger in an electrical socket,  as if the energy from your body jumping into his is almost painful, but he doesn't let go. He couldn't lose you to this, whatever the hell this was, wouldn't allow himself to lose you again.
Your glowing purple eyes flick to his. "Are you going to tell me that I shouldn't do that?" Your voice is cold. "That my revenge isn't as important as yours?"
"No." Ben shakes his head. "It's important. It's justified. I hate that they did that to you, that I wasn't there to stop them. That I didn't understand until now."
"It's not your fault what happened to me." You shout back, eyes flashing bright purple. "This isn't about you. This isn't your fight!" The vortex swirls faster around the two of you now, blurring everything beyond. "This is about what I need to do!"
"Yes it is!" His hand tightens in yours. "It is my fight if it involves you. I love you and that's what it means. It means us working together-"
"I don't need you to protect me! I am strong enough to do this on my own. I am so sick of people underestimating me and what I can do."
"Y/n please, listen to me!" Ben pleads. He could feel you slipping away and it scared him more than anything he'd been through in his entire life. He wasn't afraid to admit that. The look on your face and the display of power was so different than the person he knew.
You watch him silently, body glowing brightly in the night, floating off the ground as you stare down at him.
"I don't want you to do this alone." Ben says. The storm was still raging, thunder shaking the ground, lightning surging all around him. "I'm asking you to let me help you. Please."
"What?"
"You say that I hide what I'm really feeling, but you do too. You still hide things away from me. You think that you have to be perfect, controlled, some version of yourself that has everything together all the time, but you don't." Ben gently tries to pull you down an inch from the sky. "You've done that since we were kids, always done what you think is expected of you. That's why you almost married that asshole, because you were afraid to just let it go. So I'm asking you to do that now, to let go of all of it, because I promise that I will be right here for through every step of it."
"But-"
"I know I made promises when you chose me, and I'm sorry I let you down, I'm sorry that I let this happen, that I wasn't able to protect you from them." Ben's voice breaks and for a moment he sees a flash of the two of you in your bedroom the night that he asked you to come with him, how young and innocent you were, how much you cared for him reflected in your eyes. "So I'm promising you this now. That I will protect you, that I won't let anything happen to you and that you never have to be alone ever again. Because I love you. So please, just let go and let me in.
The whirlwind slows around the two of you, still ripping up the ground and the grass in the backyard.
"I have to be in control." You say in almost whisper.
"Why?" Ben asks.
"Because if I'm not I don't know what will happen!" You snap. "Someone dies, or you leave again, or they come to take Rosie or Lou away and I can't-" You shake your head, the glow on your body fading for a moment. "I'm not strong enough-"
"Sweetheart, you don't have to be." Ben says, and this time he pulls you from the air so that your bare feet swish in the grass again. His hand falls under your chin to raise your face to his. "That's why I'm here. You don't have to do this alone anymore, you don't have to carry this all on your shoulders. I am here and I am not going anywhere."
"But-"
"Please. I'm asking you to give me your pain, your anger, your burdens, your sorrows. Give me all of you. It's not going to scare me away." Ben whispers, taking your face between his hands. "I know that in the past I haven't been as dependable, but nothing is going to scare me away. I love all of you, even the pieces of yourself you keep from me, that you think you have to, to keep me here with you."
Fuck I sound like a pussy, but it's true. She's all I have and all I've ever wanted. And why shouldn't I say this to her? It's what she says to me. It's what she tells me and I believe her. I believe her when she says that I can rely on her, that I don't have to be strong all the time, that I can break.
He searches your face, brushes his thumbs across your rain soaked cheeks. I just want her to know that she can too and trust that I'll be here for her.
The vortex stops, the pieces of earth, trees, and grass falling to earth, the purple fading from your eyes as they do. You're no longer glowing, no longer a beacon in the night, you're just you, the woman that Ben loves more than life itself, and the woman that he thought he would never have ever again.
"I love you too." You whisper leaning into him, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to lean your forehead against his.
He can feel the curves of your body against him, your wet clothes sticking like a second skin, hair stuck to your head, but you're just as beautiful as you always have been. And Ben understands that this time, he's not going anywhere, that he's going to stay with you for the rest of his life, and nothing can keep him away.
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Reader POV
"Mindstorm told me." Ben says dragging his hand up your arm. You were laying on his chest in the bedroom, hair still wet, but now wearing dry clothes.
The residual thrum from your use of power was still charging through your cells, but lessened. Honestly you didn't remember going outside, didn’t remember standing in the storm, didn't know how long you were out there before Ben came out.
You were glad he did. You weren't in your right mind when you were out there, and if he hadn't come out you were sure that you were going to charge Vought yourself, tear it down and send it to hell where it belonged. You still wanted to, but you wanted Ben to do it with you. He was right, you didn't have to do it alone, and you didn't want to.
You nestled further into him, remembering what he shouted outside, remember how he held your face with the storm raging around him. He looked so afraid. You had only seen him look scared a handful of times in your life, but out there in the storm was different. It shocked you back into reality, brought you back from the pit, made you feel like you again for the first time in days.
And what he said hauled you further out of the darkness. You had said it to him countless times since he came back, that he didn't have to hide away what he was feeling from you, but for him to say it to you meant that he was listening. To you, Ben saying that made all of this more real, that he really wanted every part of you, that he loved you as much as he said.
The storm still raged outside, thunder occasionally shaking the windows, and lightning flashing behind the closed curtains, but you stayed curled up against Ben. Your head was tucked under his chin, arm wrapped over his bare chest. He hadn't put a shirt back on after the two of you changed, but you weren't complaining about that, there wasn't anything to complain about when it came to that. He was just so wonderfully warm, that you didn’t think you would get used to it. You also hoped that you didn't turn radioactive because of him, but you being here with him, laying on his warm chest made it worth it.
"Did he know about what Vogelbaum did?" You whisper.
Ben's muscles tense beneath your body when you ask that question. You knew that it hurt him, that it made him feel like he'd failed to protect you, but you didn't blame him for that. Even if he had been around, you knew that Vogelbaum would have figured out a way to do it, to get around him. And you didn't like it when Ben felt like he failed, it made you think about all the terrible things that his father used to yell at him when he was a kid. Ben had told you bits and pieces, over the years, and it was enough to make you want to travel back in time and kill his father yourself.
Honestly, you thought about killing him all the time when you weren't a supe as well.
"No. He didn't know that. All he knew was that Homelander was our son." When Ben says the word son he hesitates as if it's difficult for him.
It was also difficult for you, understanding that you had another kid and one that you didn't have anything to do with for forty years was hard. You suddenly understood how Ben felt about Rosemary.
"I should have known." You mutter into his chest.
"What do you mean?"
You sigh loudly. "At the premiere, Vogelbaum was pushing for me to come to the lab, said he was working on raising the "next generation of heroes" or whatever. And then Stan tried to come by and get me to do the same thing after you died, but I broke his nose."
"I remember." Ben mutters.
"What do you mean you remember?" You sit up to stare at him.
Ben raises an eyebrow. "I might have been there with Countess, but do you really think I wasn't listening to everything that was happening around you? He was dancing with you, I was making sure that everything was okay." Ben clears his throat awkwardly. "I mean I know that there was a lot happening that night, but I still wanted to make sure that you were okay."
"I wasn't."
"Yeah I-um- I know." His eyes flick away in shame.
"Ben?"
"Yeah?" He murmurs.
You gently turn his face back to look at you, fingertips under his chin. His green eyes are downcast, brows furrowed, lips pulled down into a frown. You knew how much he was still beating himself up for everything that happened in the past, and it was difficult for you to pretend that you didn't still feel the sting. But you knew he wasn't going to do it again, you believed that.
"It's okay. We're starting over. Just you and me." You brush your thumb over his bearded cheek. "No one else. This time what we're doing, it's different, it all feels different. Don't you think so? I mean I still love you just as much as I always have, but I-" You could feel yourself blush just a little, you weren't sure if Ben could feel that too.
"I know. It does." Ben whispers gazing at you. His fingers push back the strands of your hair that have fallen forward into your face. The way he's looking at you is the same way he did the morning you woke up on his chest after you slept together for the firs time. "I love you too Sweetheart." His lips find yours, gently pulling you up further on his chest so he can kiss you deeply, show you how much you mean to him, and you can’t help but smile into his mouth, feeling warm and happy for the first time in ages. His love dragging you out of the darkness that loomed over you and consumed your heart when Stan told you the truth about Homelander's heritage. 
You sit up, folding your legs beneath you, pulling Ben's right hand into your lap, gently tracing the lines with a finger tip, noting the rough callouses that he'd developed over the years. You weren't really sure what to say next.
Ben sits up so that he's leaning towards you. "Are you feeling better?"
"A little." You continue to trace the lines. His hands were so much bigger than yours, everything about Ben was big, but you liked his hands, mostly because how small yours were when you held his. "I think destroying Legend's backyard was just the right amount of therapy."
"That was a little much, but I'm glad you're feeling better. I was-" Ben swallows. "I was really worried about you."
"I know." You whisper. "It's never been that bad before. The last time I got close was-" You stop mid-sentence.
"Forty years ago?" Ben asks quietly.
You nod.
"I figured." Ben scoots closer towards you so that his thigh is brushing against yours. "I'm-"
"No." You squeeze his cheeks, eyes narrowing. "No more saying sorry. Not again."
"Okay." Ben's gaze is still apologetic. He waits for a minute, watching you in the silence. "What are we going to do about Homelander?"
"I don't know."
It was the truth, you had no idea what to do with your supposed son. You had seen the coldness in his eyes, heard about the horrible things that he was doing to other people, the horrible things he had threatened to do, and you'd seen the way he didn’t seem to care about human life.
Then again maybe I can't judge him, not after what I did to Stan. You think, your frown deepening. Stan deserved what I did to him and my only wish is that Vogelbaum somehow survived getting his head fucking blown off so I can make him pay.
"Do you think we should try to talk to him?" Ben asks.
"I don't think that's possible."
"Why not? He's our son, somewhere deep down he's got to be willing to do that." Ben's voice rumbles up through his chest. "Maybe they brainwashed him into the person we saw at Herogasm, maybe he's just being controlled and told what to do just like we were."
"I don't think that’s possible."
"Why not?" There's an urgency in his eyes that is unfamiliar to you, almost as if he's pleading for you to understand.
But why? Yes he's our son by blood but we don't know anything about him. We haven’t been in his life for forty years, we don't have any connections to him.
"You saw how he was at Herogasm. How he was almost happy to kill Butcher, how he was happy when he tried to kill you and me. I don't know what kind of person is okay with that. I mean you and I have killed people and we feel remorse after, or there's some kind of justification, but there was something in his eyes, it's almost not human. It's predatory, it's-" You shake your head trying to comprehend it. "I don't know what the fuck Vogelbaum did to him, but there's something inside Homelander that's not able to be saved."
"You don't know that."
"Ben, do you think that I want to believe that? To believe that our son is not a good person?" You drop his hand from your lap. "It's taking everything I am not to go to him, not to try and work this out. I keep trying to tell myself that maybe all he needs is family, but I don't know."
"My old man said that blood mattered. That it was the only thing that defined family-"
"Now you want to listen to your dad?" You sigh looking at Ben who is frowning at you. "We both know that he's not exactly the best role model."
"Well neither am I okay?" Ben snaps, his eyes flashing. "Maybe he just needed someone and there was no one there. I mean I wasn't there for Rosemary, but she had you and she turned out fine!"
"That's not your fault Ben. It's not your fault that you weren't there. You can't forget that they sent you to Russia to replace you with him."
"I'm not forgetting I'm just saying that they did the same fucking thing to me!"
Your next thought fizzes to a stop in your brain. What is he talking about?
"What are you talking about?" You try to reach for him, but he pulls back from your touch.
"They force fed him all that shit about what it was to be an American, they made him a supe, they brainwashed him with all my old fucking films." He spits. "But in the lab when we got the serum the first time, they did the same thing to me. They told me that I was going to be a god, that I was going to be the symbol that America needed to get through the war, that I was everything that would save America from destruction."
"Ben." You say again, this time taking his hands and he doesn't pull away. "Ben listen to me. You were older when you became a supe, we both were. You knew what reality was, you knew what the world was like when the scientists started spouting all their crap. You were old enough to understand. Homelander was raised in a lab, he didn't have a family, he didn't have friends. He was told that he was a god every day and he's not. He was raised to believe that he was something more than human, something unbeatable."
"But-"
"They told me that too." You push his hair back out of his eyes, trailing your fingers against his forehead. "That I was a god, that everyone would want me, would look at me and understand that I was beyond human. And at the beginning maybe I believed it for a few years, but that doesn't make him anything like you or like me. He's twisted, his mind is gone, any semblance of humanity he had has been warped away into something dark. He never had any light to begin with."
"You don't know that."
"I do. I can see it in his eyes. I saw it when I fought him at the Herogasm. There's nothing left to save. He's done terrible things."
"I have too." Ben mutters.
"No. You lost control, we all do. It's unrealistic to think that it won't happen, especially not for people like us who have lived this long, but him? He did those things of his own volition, because he believed that he should or maybe it was because he believed that no one could stop him." You cup his cheek, pulling his face forward into the space between the two of you. "The things you've done you feel remorse for. I was there for you every time you messed up. I saw what it did to you, saw how broken you were when you hurt someone."
"Because I'm a hero." Ben sighs. 
"Messing up once or twice does not make you less of a hero Ben, it makes you human." You lean your forehead against his, cupping his cheeks with your palms, feeling the way his beard tickles against your skin. "But Homelander, I don't think that there's anything human left."
Ben's hand comes up to hold on to your left wrist. "Then what do we do?"
"I don't know." You sigh. "I wish I did. If you really want to try to talk to him, we can, but I don't think that it's a good idea."
"He's still our son."
"He's our blood, but I don't think that makes him our son." You murmur.
You really didn't know how to deal with any of this. You wanted to believe that there was some semblance of humanity left in Homelander, but you didn't think that there was. You hated that Ben believed that he was like his son. Maybe that was some weird misogynist thing and Ben kept thinking like father like son in his head, but there wasn't any way that Homelander could be anything like Ben. Ben wasn't around for him, wasn't in his life, but maybe.
Ben pulls you back down on his chest once more, and you nestle into him once more, your head directly over his heart, the warmth of his skin comforting against your cheek.
"I think Noir knew." You breathe, tracing your hand over Ben's right pec.
"Really?"
"Yeah. Stan kinda hinted that he did, said that Noir was obsessed with me after I saved his life-"
"When did you save his- oh." Ben sighs.
"I think I should have seen that coming, given how much he kept showing up to my sparring sessions, the interviews, even some of the commercial shoots I had he seemed to always be around." You frown with a sigh. "I can't believe that I didn't know he was stalking me."
"What?"
"Stan said he kept breaking in to my apartment when I wasn't there, that he stole my necklace, you know? The one my dad got me for my birthday-"
Ben sits back so he can look you in the eye. "You're shitting me right?"
"No. That's what Stan said." You shrug. "Might have been just Stan trying to take some of the heat off, but that's what he said."
"That piece of shit." Ben almost growls. You can see the flash of jealousy and possession in his eyes that makes your heart thud a little faster in your chest. He clears his throat. "You-um- you never liked him right?"
"What?"
"The two of you were never that close?"
"Why are you asking me that?"
"Well you did save his life."
"Ben I've saved plenty of people from your temper. But no, I never liked him that way. Irving was sweet, but he was always so eager to prove himself to Stan it was just sad."
"Good."
"Why?" You sit up further, smirking at him. "Does that make you jealous? For you to think that Noir and I were together?"
Ben's eyes darken. "Watch it Sweetheart."
"Watch what?" You bat your eyes innocently. "I'm just asking a simple question."
"You keep poking the bear and you're not gonna like what happens."
"Poking the bear?" You snort sitting up and poke him in the ribs. "Are you the bear in that scenario?" You poke him again with a wicked smirk.
"Yes."
"Hmm. Well I think you're all talk. Because I have definitely poked you several-"
You're on your back in a second with Ben hovering over you, his green eyes shining as he flashes a roughish grin at you. One of his hands is pressed into the pillow next to your head, the other is at your waist, slipping beneath your t-shirt to rub circles over your hip bone with his thumb. "You were saying?" His voice is the low rumble that makes it hard for you to think.
You clear your throat. "I was saying that," You thread your hands behind the back of his head, working your fingers into his hair. "You have nothing to be jealous about."
"Really?"
"Mhhmm." You smile sheepishly. "Because it's always been you. No one else. Not Howard, Not Noir, just you." His hair is soft between your fingertips, his gaze unbreakable.
Ben returns your smile and collapses on top of you. You gasp out a breath, in a loud 'oof' sound as he does. His arms go around your waist and he buries his head in your chest breathing deeply. "I like it when you say that." He murmurs, turning his head so he can look up at you from your chest, with a smile that catches you in your heart.
"I know." You continue to scratch your fingertips through his hair.
"Sweetheart?"
"Yeah?" You breathe as you close your eyes, comforted by the weight of his body on top of yours. It was familiar, almost like he was a weighted blanket that took all your anxiety away. You felt safe with his arms wrapped around your waist, as if no one could touch you. You needed that now, needed that after you learned that without Ben someone had taken you from your home.
"I know that I can't say that there hasn't been anyone else." He whispers. "But you're the only one who mattered. You're the only woman that I've ever loved, and I swear that as long as I live I'll never love anyone else. You are all I've ever wanted and everything I thought I'd never have."
"You have me Ben." You whisper, beginning to fall asleep. "You always have, you always will."
And with those words you drift into the first fulfilling sleep you'd had in days, wrapped in the warm cocoon of Ben's love, allowing it to send you under into oblivion.
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A/N: I know this one was mostly fluff and talking, but I thought that the reader deserved that after everything with Stan, and also after she well -you know- made a tornado in Legend's backyard. We're going to pretend that no one else heard it. 😂
As always thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to my taglist please let me know :)
And if you'd like to read something a little more bantery then try my series: Take A Chance On Me
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stormz369 · 2 months ago
Text
☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 10
Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader
A/N: whaaaat? 2 chapters in 2 days? What can I say; everyone's reactions have kept my attention right here (where it belongs!) Thank you all for the incredible feedback! 😍
written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!
warnings: angst, unofficial therapy, previous attempted assault and other violence mentioned briefly (non-descriptively), Jason has trouble with his feelings
wc: 2.1k
Chapter Selection
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Jason plopped onto the couch beside me, offering me a plate stacked high with steak, mashed potatoes, and grilled asparagus.
 “Thanks baby! What do you want to watch tonight?”
He hummed softly, considering, and named one of the shows I was introducing him to. I queued up the next episode and tucked my toes under his leg. He chuckled, wrapping a blanket around my feet. “God, you're always cold, aren't you?”
“Just my feet.” I shrugged, eating happily.
We sat quietly together, watching our show while we ate, and I reveled in the casual domesticity of it. Everything felt so right about this… Jason's hand brushed against mine as he took my empty plate and set it on the table for me. His eyes slowly met mine before glancing back down at my lips.
“... Doll?” His voice was barely a whisper. I paused the show, worried I'd miss whatever he said next. “... You said … we would talk about things? … We'd figure this out together, yeah?”
I nodded, leaning forward a bit. “Yeah, is there something you want to talk about?”
Jason nodded slowly, looking down at his lap. “... Yeah, but … I don't know how to say this … it's awkward…”
I nodded slowly, offering him my hand. He shakily took it, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. “Do you … I want … fuck, I should have prepared something…”
His knees came up to his chest as he chewed on his lower lip. Humming softly, I lead his hand to my lips, kissing his knuckles. “Just breathe, Jay. There's no judgment here, take your time. … Do you think you can give me the topic?”
He shivered a bit, watching me. I took slow, deliberate breaths and he eventually matched his breathing to mine. “... Topic, right … um … intimacy…?”
I nodded, smiling gently, and placed another kiss to his hand. “Good topic; are we talking physical? Emotional? Something else?”
“... Both? … Mostly physical?”
I nodded again. “Ok. … Is this ok?” I gestured to his hand in mine, held against my cheek. He nodded quickly, a nervous look flashing through his eyes.
“Yes! Yes, that's good, I … this isn't a bad thing, I … It's just …”
“An awkward and uncomfortable conversation?” He nodded again. “That’s ok. We can do hard things. … Just to be clear; is there anything we've done already that wasn't good, or that you want to stop doing?”
He shook his head quickly; “no! No, everything has been incredible. I … god, you are so patient, I just …” he took a deep breath, shutting his eyes tightly; “I-wanna-do-more-but-I-don’t-know-how-much-more-exactly-and-I’m-worried-I’m-gonna-mess-it-up!” 
I blinked a bit and giggled softly, stroking his hand gently. “O- ok. I think I caught that. … It sounds like the boundaries of your comfort zone have shifted?” he nodded. “And you'd like to figure out where they are now?” Another nod. “Ok. How would you like to proceed?”
A panicked look crossed his face before he hid against his knees. “... I was … kinda hoping you could tell me how to do this …”
I nodded slowly. “Ok … well, normally I might suggest we just try things and see what works, but-” he whined softly. “I'm guessing you'd rather have some idea of where the lines are before I touch you any more than this?”
He slowly nodded, grumbling into his thighs. “... God, what the fuck is wrong with me???” He groaned, thudding his forehead against his knees. “This is not that hard! Why can't I just-”
I gently squeezed his hand between both of mine. “Jay, no baby. Listen to me; … do you remember that week where you were in Blüdhaven and your phone broke?”
He nodded. “And then we had our first date.”
“Right. And you took me home after. … No rational woman would allow a man she has met once to take her home after a first date. Not in this city. You know why I did? … Because I didn't want to take the bus home in the dark the night after I was almost attacked on my way home from work. I was afraid, and it makes perfect sense that I was afraid. Right?”
He nodded, frowning, and pulled me into a hug. “... I wish I could have done more … I … I'm so sorry…”
My arms wrapped around his shoulders, and one hand made its way into his hair. “I'm ok now. Nothing happened; Red Hood saw to that. … I'm telling you this because if it makes sense that I had trouble taking the bus after that, even though taking the bus is not hard, doesn't it also make sense that you would have trouble with this?”
Jason's arms tightened around me; “... why does it make sense?”
“You’ve said that your childhood was … less than ideal. When a person's key development years are plagued with pain and fear, it makes perfect sense for new situations to be extra scary, even when they know that it's a good new situation. … I know we haven't talked about too many details, but I can guess at some of it, and if any of my guesses are even partially correct then of course this is a lot for you. … We're walking blindly into the dark, of course you don't want to run full speed ahead straight into a wall.”
He chuckled softly, slowly nodding. “... We've just gotta find the light switch?”
“Exactly!” I grinned. “And until we do, we'll inch around the room with our hands held out.”
Jay nodded, hugging me close. “Ok … how do we do that?”
“Well, I have some ideas … they're probably gonna seem really silly though.”
“Silly is fine.”
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The paper in my hands was a mess of red and orange. We had printed out some of those body outlines they use in therapy; color coding them to correspond to where we were ok with being touched. Red for no, orange for not yet but I want to get ok with this sooner rather than later, yellow for ask first, and green for yes. Jason took a few home to think about overnight.
I'd come to his place so we could give them to each other. We'd sat on the couch, having tea to settle Jason's nerves before going over them. He went to the bathroom and I got up to throw out my tea bag. I hadn't meant to snoop through his trash; it was just there, crumpled up on top.
I felt him behind me, frozen in the doorway. I slowly turned, looking up at him, and smiled gently. “... Jay?”
He flinched, stepping back toward the bathroom. “... Um … that isn't … I … changed my mind?”
I nodded slowly, holding out my hand for him. He shakily stepped toward me, staring at the floor. We inched toward the couch; Jason's breathing was ragged like he'd been for a long run. “... Jay, can I see the one you were going to give me?”
He slowly looked over at the pristine paper he'd placed face down on the table. After a moment he flipped it over. The head and neck were green, the arms were green, the torso was yellow, the legs were orange, and the crotch was orange. I smoothed out the crumpled paper in my hands, laying them side by side. Green head, green hands, and red everywhere else.
“... Baby? What happened?”
He stared at them, frowning deeply. “... I just changed my mind, princess. Promise.”
“... Jay, … no. … The facts of your life are facts whether I know them or not. You feel the way you feel, whether you tell me about it or not. You don't have to tell me anything you aren't ready to tell me, but I cannot act in your best interest based off of lies. So please, do not lie to try to make me more comfortable. Not ever.”
He clenched his jaw, squeezing his eyes shut. “... I … this is where I want to be,” he pointed to the new one. “... But realistically, … I'm probably closer to this…” he moved his hand toward the crumpled one.
I nodded; “... Can I hug you?”
Jason looked over at me and slowly nodded. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, stroking his hair gently. “... Jay, it's ok that you're not where you'd like to be. I will do whatever you need to help you get there. But I can't help if you're pushing past your comfort zone like that. … I don't want to hurt you, baby.”
He sniffled softly, hugging me tight, and we sat like that for a long while. Eventually he pulled back, not looking up at me. “Got another one of those?”
I nodded, kissing his forehead, and found him one of the spares we'd printed. “Want me to give you a few minutes alone?” He nodded slowly, staring at it. “Ok, I'm gonna walk down to the corner store, I'll get us some snacks, and you think about where you realistically are with this. Ok?”
Jason nodded again, gently squeezing my hands as he hesitantly looked up into my eyes; there was so much emotion swirling on his face - fear, and adoration, and a desperate need pooled in his eyes as he whispered; “... I … I love you…”
My heart swelled and cracked open. He looked so delicate, looking up at me like that, and all I wanted was to hold him in my arms and take care of him. I gently cupped his unmarred cheek, remembering how he would flinch when I reached toward the scarred side, and slid my thumb over his soft skin. “I love you too, Jason. With all my heart, I love you.”
His eyes darted across my face, drinking me in. A soft smile slowly slid in place, and I thought that might be hope filling his eyes. He kissed my palm before releasing me, and I leaned back, getting ready to go so he could think about the paper.
Jason texted me when he was done, and I returned to the apartment with several large bags of snack foods and drinks. He looked up at me slowly when I opened the door, smiling weakly. “Hey sweetie, what are you thinking over there?”
“... I really hate this, but it's accurate.”
I nodded, sitting next to him. I laid out the snacks and drinks I'd brought so he could take what he liked. “Can I see it?”
His hand trembled as he passed it to me. Green head - except for a yellow patch on his scarred cheek-, green hands, yellow lower arms, orange upper arms, red from the chest to thighs, yellow calves, green feet. I nodded, smiling softly. “I'm so proud of you, Jay.”
“... You're … what?” he frowned, confused.
“I'm proud of you. Introspection is difficult, but you did it anyway. And now we have something to work with.” He looked flabbergasted, staring at me like I'd grown another head. I chuckled softly and offered him my drawing; significantly more green than his, but I of course had my own ‘no’ ‘no, but maybe soon?’ and ‘ask first’ areas.
Jason looked over mine, nodding a bit. “... So … it looks like this area is green for both of us,” he pointed to the face on my drawing; “... Maybe we could … do something about that?”
I chuckled softly, gently cupping his cheek. “Jay, is that your way of asking without asking if you can kiss me?”
He blushed brightly, looking away a bit. “... If it is?”
“Then you're adorable~”
He slowly looked at my lips again, taking my hand that wasn't on his face and bringing it to his other cheek. I was almost afraid to breathe; he had never let me touch this scar before. Said it was from a particularly bad day, and he didn't really want to talk about it. Now it was under my hand…
Jason's eyes finally met mine, he looked so vulnerable and needy. I took a deep breath, gently stroking his cheeks with my thumbs, and he sighed softly. “... That ok?”
He nodded, whispering; “yeah, that's good … can … can I?”
I nodded. “You saw my colors, you know where you can touch.”
He nodded again, gently cupping my cheeks, and slowly pulled me forward. Our lips barely grazed each other before he stopped; his hands were trembling against me. I gently guided him toward me, pressing a little more firmly into the kiss. He slowly relaxed into it, but continued to let me lead. Eventually I pulled back to breathe, reveling in the soft, whiny moan that poured from his lips as we parted.
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Next ->
Divider by: @saradika-graphics
Taglist (open):
@jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona @mystic60 @iwannabealocalcryptid @morstuavitamea-a @frosty--giants @arisa191 @prized-jules
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yoursweetwife · 1 year ago
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how would Ratio comfort a crying sad reader? reason why reader is cryingis up to you (or just not include it thats fine too!)
Warning: comfort, fluff, soft Ratio., female reader, sad reader, bad english
Synopsis: Ratio expected to see anything but the way you cry.
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The first thing that Ratio thought about after he went home to your shared apartment was you. He heard from colleagues when he came to check on you in the office that you had left because of an incident, it confused him. You usually warned him in advance, but today you didn't even send a message. However, no one has been able to explain what happened.
Ratio was not good at showing his emotions, and other people might think that he was completely indifferent to you, but this is far from the truth. Meeting you is the best thing that happened to him.
You could easily have improved his mood with your conversations (he really likes talking to you about everything in the world), he realized this right now while walking home, annoyed with today. Fortunately, his plaster head hid his disappointment from prying eyes. At the sight of your house, a weight seemed to fall off his shoulders.
Approaching the door, he is surprised to find it unlocked. Ratio grunted and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"[name], I told you to lock the door."
After opening the door, he quickly went inside and called your name. The apartment was too dark and quiet, since you started living instead, such a thing as "silence" has practically disappeared from his life. It was filled with sounds of activity, teamwork, and love, even when you were angry at each other and not talking.
His shoes were left standing next to yours. As if feeling it, Veritas started walking towards your shared bedroom. Concern showed on his face as sobbing-like sounds began to come from inside.
He watched in horror as your tears stained the sheets. However, besides the bed, you were in a mess. Your hair and clothes were in terrible condition, and quiet hoarse screams came from your mouth, as if you had been doing this for hours. From his angle, he could see you trying to wipe away tears with your hands.
If another person were crying in front of him, there would be little he could do in such a situation, but in order to keep a smile on your beautiful face, the scientist is ready to do anything. Unconsciously, Ratio headed towards you. Strong arms pressed you to his chest, and your face was buried in soft hair. His brows furrowed when he felt you flinch.
"V-veritas? - Your tired voice filled the dark room. - I'm sorry, I didn't keep track of the time. You shouldn't have seen this."
You started frantically wiping your face. Veritas felt anger at the realization that you wanted to hide something so important from him. Do you really think he's going to laugh at you? This conversation can be left for later.
He took your hands and stopped them and turned you to face him. Ratio smiled gently. His hands gently wiped away the wet traces of tears and you could feel that you were ready to cry again, just from this one gesture. After today's incident, you felt very bad, and the presence of Veritas brings you an inexplicable sense of calm.
"It's okay, - Ratio pulled you closer to him, you nuzzled his shoulder. - Calm down, I don't like to see you crying alone."
The gentleness in Ratio's voice scared even him. He stroked your hair soothingly. Gradually, you stopped hearing his words, and the world around you plunged into darkness. But you could still feel his touch.
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m3hgumi · 1 year ago
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— when you have period cramps
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a/n: me at any minor inconvenience: omg more content 😍😍 cramps are hurting so bad and i was thinking about them … ooo the voices THE FUCKING VOICES
i’ll also be splitting the hcs into two parts with other characters so it’s easier to post
pairings: itadori yuji x f!reader, fushiguro megumi x f!reader, gojo satoru x f!reader
genres: fluff, hurt/comfort
word count: 853
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itadori yuji
baby was so scared and terrified and confused at first
he’s never had to deal with something like this before, having no female family members or relatives
so to say the least he was stumped
you tried to brush it off saying you were okay and the pain would pass until another wave of sharp stabbing pain hit your side
that’s when you told him to get the pain killers cause this was gonna be a Very Long Week
once you explained to him the horrors of being a woman with a functioning uterus, he didn’t hesitate to grab (steal) a heating pad from nobara’s room (which almost led to disaster, thankfully you had stepped in and no damage was done)
he hates seeing you in pain and tries so hard to make sure you’re comfortable
he’ll have you laying your head in his lap, sprawling the rest of you body on the sofa or bed of your dorm, and ruffle your hair as the two of you watch your favorite show or movie
when you’re napping, he’ll try to cook you something to keep your energy up and endure the pain
i bet he tries to look up recipes for meals that help with period cramps
and tries to cook them for you 🥹
even if he’s not the greatest cook, you appreciate those meals better than any craving you’ve had for the rest of the week
megumi fushiguro
he’s gone through this many times with tsumiki before so he knows exactly what to do
prepare a heating pad, stock up on pain meds, get her usual cravings and everything would be fine
though her cramps weren’t as painful (or so he thought, she just hid how painful they were from him) as he found yours to be, so he had to do a little bit more to help you alleviate the pain
including routine cuddles, plenty of kisses, many many blankets, and the occasional peace and quiet for your naps
he has your period tracker synced to his phone so he knows in advance when to stock up on any supplies you’ll need to get through the hellish time of shark week
he’d cancel any plans he may have had with nobara and yuji to stay with you (mad respect 🙏)
he’ll also summon his demon dogs for emotional support, even if it’s not allowed in the dorms (he’s such a real one 😭☝️)
he also has his phone notifications off so all of his attention is focused on getting you through this hellish week (ok but mans needs to catch a break too)
he’ll let you play with his hair as a distraction from the pain
if you ask for cuddles his face will get super red but he’ll oblige after
eventually he’d stop you from consuming all of chocolate and chips that is your cravings and get you to eat an actual meal
he won’t mind if you start complaining or yelling at him about something insignificant (like the temperature in the room being too low) because he knows it’s just the pain talking
instead he’ll pull you even further to his touch, soothing you and hopefully getting your mind farther away from your uterus twisting itself
gojo satoru
for ONCE his sweets stash under his bed is finally useful for someone other than him 🔥
i can imagine teen gojo first seeing you in pain and laughing (geto probably smacked him real good after that)
“wowww women have it SOOO hard 🙄” “OF COURSE YOU WOULDNT KNOW YOU ASSH-“
he has everything stocked up and ready for that time of the month: from pads to heating pads to pain meds (lots of them) and most importantly SO MANY SWEETS
he definitely uses this time of the month as an excuse to go out and buy an exorbitant amount of candy that will most definitely leave the two of you with diabetes
he’ll also bail out on any meetings or missions (except the ones with his students, he can’t leave them) so he could stay with you
if for any reason he can’t be physically be there, he’ll be on speed dial or he’ll get nanami or shoko to keep you company
you tell him not to worry and don’t bother staying since the pain will pass on its own and isn’t really anything to worry about, but he insists anyways
when he’s not busy he’s either cuddling you or having you wrapped around his arms, passing the time by watching his shitty collection of movies or any of your favorite shows
he’s definitely gonna feed you the giant chocolate cake he bought from the bakery down the street (and feed himself some ofc)
since gojo is just a giant pillow anyways, falling asleep on him isn’t much of a problem, even if your insides are attacking you with the worst pain ever
i’ve mentioned this in hcs before but he ABSOLUTELY has a whole album of pics where you’re sleeping on his shoulder or lap, cuddles are not excluded
(ok this is getting too long i should stop)
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kamisatomay018 · 1 year ago
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Family is Forever
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Father Neuvillette- you both have a daughter. Slight angst with lots of comfort. Very fluff, lots of family love!
Neuvillette x female reader
This one is also gonna be a little long haha
“Mama, why is papa not home?” Your 6 year old daughter asked with a big pout, her beautiful big eyes filled with tears. She was a spitting image of your husband, with the same white locks and lavender eyes. Your heart broke listening to those words. Being the Chief Justice of Fontaine was not an easy task, and recently criminal activity had increased a lot in Fontaine for some unknown reason. This resulted in Neuvillette returning home very late for the past 4 months.
He was an amazing husband and father, and he loved his two blossoms- that’s what he loved to call you both- endlessly. You still remembered the way his eyes had teared up in happiness when he first held his newborn daughter in his arms. His happiness knew no bounds, he loved you both more than anything. But his duties had now caused a distance to grow between him and his daughter, which hurt him deeply. He would have to leave early, and come back home very late. Of course by then your little daughter would be fast asleep, and she missed her father dearly. It was safe to say that she was way more attached to her papa than you, and that fact made your heart very happy.
Now faced with this sudden question, you gently picked her up, sitting her on your lap and cooed her sweetly. “Sweetheart, papa has a lot of work, that’s why he gets late..”
“But..but I miss papa..I want him to sing lullaby for me, please?” She said, pearl like tears now falling from her eyes. You hugged her close, feeling helpless. No one was at fault here because you knew Neuvillette was trying so hard to come back home early. You had seen the way he would come back home and go to his sleeping daughter, his eyes filled with sadness as the rain poured outside. He would kiss her forehead, whispering softly telling her he loved her and how sorry he was. Almost every night you would stay awake to comfort him, and at times he would cry because of the guilt he felt. In his eyes he was being a bad husband and father, missing out on his little blossom’s childhood.
“Don’t cry my little flower, papa loves you so much, always remember that..”
“But mama…am I the reason papa isn’t here?” Your eyes widened, and heart shattered at those words. You immediately shook your head, cuddling her so close. “No sweetie, of course not! Don’t say that, you are papa’s little blossom, he loves you so much..”
She looked up at you with her big teary eyes, the amount of innocent sadness in her eyes wounded you. “Really mama? I miss papa, I want him..”
Before you could reply, you heard loud thunder as rain poured like anything. Your eyes widened and you immediately looked back; watching a silhouette hurriedly disappear into the hallways. Your worst fear had come true, neuvillette had come home early after so long, only to hear all this. You couldn’t even imagine how hurt he must be, and the heavy rain outside was only a fragment of his emotions. You stayed with your daughter for a while, quickly making her sleepy and gently tucked her in bed, and immediately made your way to your bedroom.
Making your way inside, you found your husband sitting on the bed, tears falling down his cheeks. Your heart ached at the sight, the father and daughter really were alike. You got in bed too, gently making him lay down as he immediately hid himself in your arms, soaking your tshirt with his tears. On the outside, he was always stoic and composed, never showing emotion. But you knew that his heart was so soft and sensitive, and when it came to you and your daughter, he was never afraid of expressing his emotions.
“Neuvi, breathe love, it’s okay..everything is gonna be okay, I promise..” You felt him shaking his head, and for the first time you heard his voice be so weak and sad. “No..I failed..I’m such a bad father, I made my blossom cry..I made her feel unloved..What kind of a papa am I? I don’t deserve her, I don’t deserve you…” and then came even more sobs. The rain only grew stronger and you felt your heart break.
“No Neuvi, you’re an amazing father..please don’t say that, she loves you so much..She’s young, she doesn’t understand right? She loves her papa so much..I know it’s not your fault love, I know how tired you’ve been, how much you have been missing her..”
He looked up at you, just the way your daughter had done a while ago ��but I made her cry Mon Ange…she..she thought I didn’t love her..” You gently wiped his tears, placing soft kisses on his cheeks and forehead. He closed his eyes, letting himself feel your warmth and your tender love.
“She’s only a child Neuvi, and she cannot understand the complexity of our situation right? She’s saying that only because the change in these 4 months has been too sudden for her. Earlier you would tuck her in bed, sing her lullabies and drop her off to school, but now because of the situation you can’t..And I understand that, but she can’t right?”
He nodded at your words, still feeling so sad as he pouted in a manner so similar to his daughter, mumbling softly “but I love you both so much..I love my blossoms more than anything..” You gave him a sweet smile, gently kissing his lips “we love you so much too my love..everything will be okay, she knows you love her. This was a simple misunderstanding honey..we are family right? Family is forever, and our love is forever.”
You felt him ease at your words, the rain slowing down as he nodded at your words. “Yes, you’re right Mon Ange..” he then glanced at the seating in your big room, where two big bags were placed and sighed softly “I bought her favourite chocolates and a few toys while coming back home today as a little apology..” You smiled again, kissing his cheeks. “I’m sure she’ll love them Neuvi” he stayed silent now, just basking in your warmth which he had missed. Work had snatched away his family time, and that angered him. He was more than determined to end this series of criminal activities now. All these months he had been working tirelessly, connecting clues and organising investigations. Tomorrow was a big hearing, and if everything worked according to plan, then he would be free from the shackles of his endless work for a long time.
“I love you so much Mon Ange..thank you for being so patient and understanding, and thank you for marrying me..” he spoke softly, his words being so genuine as he kissed your wedding ring delicately. You chuckled softly, kissing his forehead while caressing his long hair, gently untying the bow to let him relax. “I love you more than anything Neuvi, marrying you was the best decision of my life. You and our little blossom are my everything..”
Neuvillette felt himself relax and calm down even more, your soft caresses and warmth doing magic. The rain stopped, as your dragon felt sleepy in your embrace after a long day. “Sleep my love, you’re tired. We’ll make everything work okay?” He nodded with a soft smile, and you two let the slumber take over.
The next day came by, your daughter’s school had just ended, and she was still sad. Her friend’s father had come to pick her up, and that just made her miss her papa even more. While waiting for you to pick her up, she heard a familiar voice that she had missed so much.
“Is that my little blossom I see?” She gasped loudly, turning around and had the biggest smile ever, her tiny frame running towards her father. “Papa!!” Neuvillette had the biggest smile as he picked his daughter up, hugging her close as he felt his heart smile. “Papa you’re here!!” Her excited voice spoke, as he looked at his little blossom, who was just like him. “Yes my blossom, papa is here..”
Meanwhile you hurried towards your daughter’s school to pick her up, your work had kept you a little busy, and you hoped she wasn’t scared alone. But what you saw just made your heart burst with happiness, your husband and your daughter together, as she clung onto him like anything, refusing to let her father go. The sun shone brightly, as the smile on Neuvillette’s face never left. People around were shocked to see the Chief Justice so happy and smiley, but he did not care. He was finally with his family, his blossom. You approached the two, having the biggest smile ever.
“Seems like no one missed mama huh!” You teased with a sweet smile, seeing your daughter look at you again, giggling cutely. “Mama look! Papa is here to pick me up!!” You saw your husband’s eyes tear up, perhaps with both happiness yet a little guilt, as you joined the hug, kissing her cheeks. “Aawww yes sweetie, look papa surprised you!” “It’s the best surprise ever! I love you papa!” She looked at her father, who was so dear to her. He smiled even more, a tear falling down his cheek which he quickly blinked away, kissing his blossom’s forehead. “Papa loves you so much my little blossom, he’s so sorry for being a bad papa..”
“You’re not a bad papa! You’re my hero! Papa is the best! But can you please stay home with me and mama? I miss your lullabies..” she looked at him with big puppy eyes, making neuvillette chuckle. “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart, papa has taken a long holiday! No more work, only family time now!” Your daughter squealed in excitement, hugging her father even more. “You promise papa?” “Yes blossom, I promise..”
You looked at your husband with slight worry in your eyes, whispering softly “Neuvi, what about the trials..?” “It’s over Mon Ange, the criminals have been caught, Fontaine is once again at peace. Furina was very generous and gave me a whole month off, saying I only need to come to work if any major trials are there, and that she’ll handle the rest.” You smiled so happily, hugging him sweetly. “See? I told you everything would be okay!”
He laughed softly, feeling bliss. He was now home, in the arms of his two precious angels. He couldn’t ask for anything more. “Yes my love, and as always, you’re absolutely right. Now how about we go home? Im gonna make my blossoms’ favourite food today!” You laughed seeing your daughter clap excitedly, your mind now being at peace as they both were so happy.
Family was forever, and it was everything to you and Neuvillette. You just knew he was going to spoil his daughter rotten this month.
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hunters-vigil · 1 month ago
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The Archon's Baby - Chapter 6 - Sisters
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request from ao3: Make one where they have a child but the female character doesn't tell Mavuika that she is expecting a child and distances herself from Mavuika please 🙏🙏
Fic under the cut, don't repost my stuff on other platforms, i have ao3. Reader is not the traveller. Reader's adoptive sisters are Chasca and Chuychu.
warnings: warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, empty threats about castration, implied trans!Mavuika, arguments, a lot of crying.
Chasca raised an eyebrow, while Chuychu passed you the vitamins you needed to take, reminding you very much of the good sister bad sister routine your sisters would use when you were all younger.
"The mother of my child." You stated, folding your arms as your sisters moved to stand up, "She's long gone, so you can't try cutting any balls off, Chasca."
"You heard me when I said that?" Chasca's face fell at the defensive look on yours, "you know I wouldn't. I was angry about your... condition and upset that you didn't trust me or Chuychu enough to tell us you were in a relationship."
"It wasn't about trust. I trust you both with my life, you're my sisters and I love you. But my relationship... it's complicated. We kept it from everyone until I was ready, and she was okay with that, because the moment people find out, everything changes..." you trailed off, fighting the urge to run your hand over your belly. Lucky for you, you were not showing yet.
"Why would everything change? Only the elders might be bothered that you two aren't married-" Chasca frowned but Chuychu kicked her in the shin to quieten her, watching you carefully as you took your vitamins.
"Chasca... think about it. A pyro user, and everything would change the moment people found out she was courting one of her people, let alone impregnated her."
"Chuychu, did you have to word it like that?" your face burned with enough heat that you could have had a pyro vision.
"Wait, what are you saying- oh, archons..." Chasca paused, looking between Chuychu, then you, as her eyes widened in realisation. "You're with our archon."
"Shush! Please! Please..." you begged, your voice cracking as your sisters figured out everything.
"I need to prepare for the Pilgrimage." Chasca stood up to leave, not looking back as she held back her emotions.
"Chasca!" you held back your sobs, remembering momentarily that you three were in public, but your hormones and emotions threw that out the window, "Chuychu?"
"She just needs to blow off steam. I'm going to check on her so she doesn't take it out on some innocent civillian, or you. You don't need that stress, okay?" Chuychu moved to stand up, leaning in to kiss your forehead, "I'm not mad at you, I can see why you hid this, and I will admit that it hurts but, I love you, little one. I'll come find you once I know our older sister has calmed down, and not tried to castrate the archon..."
Chuychu said the last bit more to herself than to you, following in Chasca's footsteps as you sat at the table with your head in your hands.
"I don't think I've seen you three have a fight like that in years." The sound of heels on the floor approached you, but you couldn't remove your hands from your face, trying to hide your tears but clearly failing.
Xilonen let out a soft sigh, her hand gently rubbing your trembling back, "whatever you three fought over... you'll resolve it between yourselves, you know that, right sweetheart?"
A wet laugh made the ancient name forger's ears twitch, "I doubt it. They're really mad... Chasca's supposed to be a peacekeeper but when it comes to family... our parents are going to be mad too when they find out everything."
"It's that bad that talking to them won't work?" Xilonen frowned, thinking to herself for a moment, "how about I get us some xocoatl and you can gather your thoughts? Or maybe some tatacos?"
"Ugh, archons no, just thinking of shrimp makes me want to vomit!" you held back a gag, much to Xilonen's confusion.
"I thought you loved tatacos, your sisters used to bribe you with them as a kid?"
"Um, it's complicated," feeling your face burn and eyes water at having to try explain, "but I can't eat fish or shrimp anyway now so... just xocoatl please. I can give you some mora-"
"I've got it sweetheart, don't worry about it." Xilonen dismissed you, not seeing how your nose crinkled up at the pet name, reminding you of your parents, who you had yet to tell about Mavuika or your pregnancy. Although, they may have suspected something, with how that family dinner went the day that you found out your results...
Your hands trembled as you cradled the mug of xocoatl between them, avoiding Xilonen's gaze but the woman didn't seem to be so bothered by your lack of talking. In fact, she looked like all she wanted was a nap, especially the level of alertness in her eyes or lack thereof suggesting it.
"Are... you okay?" you whispered, bringing the mug up to your lips to sip on.
"I probably should be asking you that," the smith passed you a serviette for a tissue, "but that would probably make you cry again, so I'd rather not. Me though? I'm alright, just wondering about the potted plant on my porch. It died again, I was watering it every day but, I guess that was too much?"
"Probably. Plants can be temperamental, too much water, too little water, too much sunlight, too little sunlight." You shrugged, not admitting that a saurian that Chasca had been fostering at Ifa's had eaten your plants so you gave up growing any a while back. Instead, your focus was on the life growing inside of you.
"Ugh, I guess gardening requires quite a bit of luck." Xilonen grumbled, folding her arms, leaning back in her chair in thought.
"Be right back..." you mumbled, hurrying off to go to the bathroom, much to Xilonen's momentary confusion.
"Sorry, sorry... I'm back!" you chewed your lip as you returned to your seat, hoping that you wouldn't need to pee again during your conversation, "um, so the Pilgrimage is this week, are you looking forward to it?"
Xilonen let out a yawn, "I can't wait for it to be over and people stop trying to ask me for last minute commissions." The smith's ears perked up as she looked at you properly, "speaking of comissions. How was that weapon I made for you?"
Your eyes widened at the unexpected question, stumbling over your thoughts as you tried to come up with an answer. How could you tell her that your sisters had confiscated it not long after finding out you were pregnant? Chasca had been helping you train with it, and Mavuika had tried, being somewhat successful, but the two of you often ended up too distracted by each other...
"Okay, what happened to it?"
"My sisters took it. They stopped my training sessions after finding out about... my condition." You hesitated before finally telling the ancient name bearer the truth, or well, a vague version of it. Chuychu still wasn't back yet, was she still trying to calm Chasca down?
"Your condition? Right?" Xilonen hummed, not entirely sure what you were taking about, "is it serious? Do you need anything from me?"
"It's too early to commission you to help with a nurs-anything, help with anything, so just, thank you for the offer!" you caught your slip up, but Xilonen did too as her ears twitched, taking a moment to realise.
"Oh, uh, well, you know where to find me when you do, okay, sweetheart? I should get going, I have a meeting with the archon, it's probably about her needing another set of sunglasses forging... again!" Xilonen gently petted your head as she hurried away, leaving you to frown slightly.
"Why does everyone keep petting my head?"
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kabishkat19 · 1 month ago
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Hot Take : Cassandra🖤
(Normally I don’t make posts like this but I need this off my chest)
My roommates and myself just rewatched season 1 of “Tangled series” and all the raged emotions just came flooding back; as much as this show did have it’s fun, sweet and good moments overall can not enjoy this show.
Despite the many things I could point out *cough cough* Eugene being a secret prince bullshit *cough* the big thing I can’t stand is the Cas plot line. I know I’m gonna get angry people coming after me but I just don’t care, I couldn’t stand Cas’s plot in this whole series! Season one she was fine the set up was good, even if she was trying to convince Rapunzel she couldn’t trust Eugene;
The one guy who saved her life! The first person she ever met you died for her!
She was still just introduced and was having development with trusting others and being nicer to Rapunzel. Everything was fine it could’ve been great but then the moonstone plot line happened and I just couldn’t anymore…
First off all it took was for her to find out her mother was gothel (why!? I also didn’t like that but another time) for her to suddenly forget that gothel kidnapped Rapunzel and hid her way for 18 years; before she knew of Gothel as her mother she heard the stories from Rapunzel no doubt how Gothel was ready to kill Rapunzel if it came down to it, then has the audacity to tell Rapunzel “you’re a princess you’ll never understand me, you’ve been given everything” Seriously! 18 years trapped and manipulated by a woman who abandoned you and Rapunzel is suddenly the bad guy!?
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Like seriously! You knew!
Then she has a whole song about “I’ve been denied, no is on my side” when literally the first season is the other guards helping her prove herself to her dad who by the way never really stopped her just wanted her think things through; for god’s sake he trusted her over all the other guards to lead the army on Varian! Rapunzel herself was always on her side and did everything in her power to help! ‘I’m the luckless’ bitch! You are actually the luckiest person only ever got support and friendship from everyone, trained by a father who cared and believed in you, hell Gothel ain’t that person and she saw that! None of those flash backs in the mirrors gave off nurturing, in fact Cas was miserable in all of them!
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When Cas! When! Only one who was very condescending is that relationship was you!
And before anyone comes at me with the whole “she was being controlled” she wasn’t though, she may have had a little whisper following her around but she was full body and mind when she grabbed that stone. And for it all to end with everything just forgiving her! Bull!
I was with Eugene trying to convince Rapunzel to deal with the fact that Cas betrayed them. I may the only person who feels this way but Cas was one of the least favourite characters in a show that just did my head in.
Such potential. Wasted.
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ninii-winchester · 3 months ago
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Behind Closed Doors (Part 6)
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Pairing: Boss!Dean Winchester X Assistant!Reader
Word count : 1.7k
Warnings: angst, foul language, not proofread.
A/n: I hate Mary more than I hate John🥰
I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.
After Castiel had left, Dean was left alone with his thoughts. He mustered up the courage to finally tell Y/n everything. He would tell her everything. He was overwhelmed, all his emotions came crashing into him at once. He was angry at his parents, ashamed in front of his lover, and ashamed at his own dilemma. With an uneasy feeling inside his chest, he called her inside.
Y/n stepped inside the room looking completely unbothered but Dean knew better, he knew she was keeping up a facade of being fine and he wanted nothing more than to take away all her pain.
"Yes, Mr.Winchester?" She said, her tone void of any adoration he was used to.
"Don't do that." Dean begged. "Please." Y/n stared at him blankly and he cleared his throat, standing up from his chair. She waited for him to speak with her arms crossed across her chest. He stopped in front of her. "There's something you need to know." He said softly and she scoffed.
"Isn't it a bit too early?" She asked sarcastically. "I thought you might want to wait until your wedding." She sneered. Dean knew he deserved everything she threw at him but he wouldn't deny that he felt a bit of anger and frustration build up, she's not even letting him explain.
"Will you let me talk, please?" Dean replied softly but she could tell there was an edge to his voice. She nodded reluctantly. He led her to couch placed in his office and sat down beside her. Taking in a deep breath, Dean spilled it all. He told her how his parents are forcing him to marry Rachel, he stood against it and his father threatened to kick him off his position, he even tried telling them that he has someone in his life but they wouldn't budge. Y/n listened to him intently, a soft gasp leaving her lips at the mention of Dean losing his position as CEO. She could tell he was conflicted, she felt bad for treating him the way she did but then again he hid it from her when she asked so its not completely her fault.
"Why did you lie to me when I asked you what happened at your parents'?" She asked softly, now something understanding the situation better.
"I thought I'd deal with it without you knowing, I didn't want you to worry, but then Rachel showed up and it all went to shit." Dean said remorseful. She nodded her head indicating she understood. She was quiet for a while and it killing Dean on the inside, he really wanted to know what she was thinking. "Please say something." He pleaded, when she didn’t speak he added. “Look at me.” He placed his fingers underneath her chin and made her look at him. “I love you, and I’ll talk to my parents again. It’s true I don’t want to choose between you and this job but if it comes down to it, I’ll choose you.” Dean said sincerely.
“I know.” She spoke airily, giving him a gentle smile she added, “but I don’t want you to.” Dean opened his mouth to speak but she shook her head. “If this this position would’ve been given to you just because it’s your father’s company, if I didn’t know how hard you’ve worked to get here. I would’ve asked you to choose me.” She said placing her hand over his cheek. “I can let you go knowing you love me with everything you have than have you resent me a few years down the line for making you miserable.”
“No, it won’t ever happen. This isn’t important. You are. You make me happy.” Dean argued and she smiled sadly at his at his attempt to convince her.
“Right now—yes.” She concluded. “A few years later, maybe not. Dean you’ve worked hard for this. This is your dream and I can’t take that away from you.”
“I don’t wanna lose you, please.” Tears pooled at his eyes at the thought of losing the one person he loves more than anything in the entire world. “I need you in my life.”
“You won’t. I’m right here.” She chuckled through her tears, gesturing to her workspace outside his office. He shook his head again. “I’m not going anywhere Dean.” The moment hung in the air, heavy with the weight of words exchanged. His eyes turned dark and intense and she felt her heart stutter in her chest.
The moment lingered, fragile and bittersweet, as they sat facing each other, the weight of what was to come pressing down on them. His eyes were soft, filled with a sadness she had never seen before, as if he were memorizing every detail of her face. Time seemed to still as he reached for her, his rough hand cupping her cheek, thumb brushing lightly against her skin. She leaned into the touch, his lips crashed into hers and it was as if the world fell away.
When his lips met hers, it was slow, achingly tender. There was no rush, no desperation—just a quiet sorrow that settled between them like a final farewell. His lips brushed against hers with a softness that made her heart ache, as though he was trying to pour every unspoken word, every unfulfilled promise, into that one moment. Their moment was broken when the door slammed open and a loud gasp was heard. They both quickly pulled apart and saw Rachel standing in the doorway. She looked upset at first but then her faced twisted in to a condescending smirk.
“Now I understand why men approach you, they know a skank when they see one.” Rachel sneered folding her arms across her chest. Dean stood from his place and walked closer to her.
“Apologise. RIGHT NOW.!” He growled menacingly and Rachel flinched a bit. Y/n quickly rushed to Dean’s side and placed a hand over his arm to calm him down.
“Get away from him you-“
“I swear to God, Rachel if you said anything to her, I will make sure you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.” Dean threatened making the woman gulp in fear.
“Why the hell are you behaving like this? I’m your soon to be wife!” She yelled.
“No you’re not. You’re just some girl who I went to school with. I’ve never loved you and I never will.” Dean yelled back.
“I’ll make you fall for me once we’re married.” She replied.
“You’re delusional.” Dean snarked. “I love Y/n and only her. I’ll love her until my last breath.” With a huff and a nasty glare to towards Y/n, she left stomping her feet but not before adding,
“We’ll see about that.”
Dean turned to Y/n, holding her arms. “You okay, baby?” He caressed her skin, calming her. She nodded but Dean knew she was still shook up from what Rachel had said. He hates that woman so much. “Hey, I’ll talk to Dad. We’ll figure this out. I promise.” Dean knew if he went to his Dad he might be able to get out of this arrangement. His mother is kind of a control freak and he hates it. It was only Sam’s luck that he had crush on Jess even before Mary arranged them. There’s a possibility John might listen to him if Mary’s not present.
The rest of the day passed rather quickly, and Y/n back home. While Dean drove to his parent’s house. He had asked Sam to keep Mary away from home for a while, so Sam made up lie about Jess needing help with wedding preparations, that would keep her occupied for a few hours at-least.
“Dad.” Dean said entering the house and finding his father lounging on the couch. The old man wasn’t too happy to see his eldest son after the scene he’d created a few days prior.
“Dean.” He greeted back tersely.
“Dad, I need to talk to you.” The green eyed man stated, staring down at his father, and the latter raised his brow with curiosity. He gestured his son to sit and talk. “ I can’t marry Rachel. You have to understand. Mom wants me to settle down, fine! I will. But not with Rachel. Like I said that day, I have someone in my life.” Dean poured his heart to his dad and John was surprised to say the least.
“I thought you just it to get out of the arrangement.” John commented.
“Dad, I’m your son. I don’t just say things.” Dean sighed defeatedly. “I do have someone.” He added.
“You love her, son?” John questioned.
“More than anything, Dad. We’ve been together to three years and I proposed a few weeks back. She said yes. I came here to tell you about us and then mom dropped that bomb on me.” John was astonished at the revelation of Dean being engaged. He knew his son was a private person but he never expected him to keep his relationship a secret from his family.
“I didn’t know that.” John said, he didn’t wait for his son to reply and added, “I don’t know who she is but the question still stands though, Her or the company.”
“Her.” Dean declared without a second thought. There’s nothing he would choose over her. He’d been a fool to not realise it earlier but the more he comes closer to losing her—the more he realises he needs her more than anything. John smirked at his son, it was a test. It definitely was and he passed. If there’s anything John respects and adores most is true love. After all he went through all the sort of hurdles to marry his love, Mary.
“I’ll talk to your mother.” Was all John said but it was all Dean needed to hear. Even though the Winchester men were not the most emotional ones out there, in this moment Dean couldn’t help but hug his father. John patted his son’s back and Dean felt like he could finally breathe.
Tags:
@spnfamily-j2 @galway-girlatwork @deangirl96 @queensilber
@s0urw00lf @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @deans-baby-momma @fullbelieverheart
@riah1606 @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @hobby27
@starkleila @suckitands33 @m3ntally-unstable @kanekilovelove-blog @candy-coated-misery0731
@blackcherrywhiskey @ladysparkles78 @goest-and-fuckest-thyself-blog @graywrites5567
@thelittlelightinthedarkess @enamoredwithbella @winchesterwild78 @myuhh8
@10ava01
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aritsukemo · 3 months ago
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What it's like with an Mitsuri Kanroji!partner | Akatsuki Members
Characters: Itachi Uchiha, Sasori, Hidan, and Konan
Warnings: Hidan. That said, vulgarity and threats ahead. Reader is heavily implied to be female/fem-bodied!
A/N: Been rewatching Naruto lately ( with my bsf who's watching Naruto for the first time ) and soon plan to rewatch Naruto Shippuden. ( Never finished it.. ) That said, I got the inspo to make this after Itachi and Kisame got introduced! This wasn't meant to exactly be romantic, but you can see these as whatever makes you comfortable! 🙈
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Itachi Uchiha
↪ He found you odd, but in a good way.
↪ Being apart of the Akatsuki, he's met and collabrated with some of the most sick in the head and heartless people across the nations and he himself is far from a saint. That said, he was surprised, and quite suspicious, when he first met you.
↪ You were everything the Akatsuki wasn't; as bright and as cheery the sun with a transparent air of innocence to around you to boot.
↪ Everything about you from your smooth, clean, and supple skin to your wide, glossy smile told him that you had yet to see even the smallest slither of the terrors of this world..so why were you here before him squealing and blushing like a little kid?
↪ At first, he thought you were a spy like Orochimaru and were trying to steal information on the Akatsuki or get to him and his eyes, but it didn't take long for his suspicions to be dispelled.
↪ Your first mission together was a test. One that was to prove your loyalty and dependablity to the Akatsuki and during your entire walk, you talked. You never stopped and eagerly hopped to different topics and by the time you reached the village that hid away the Four-Tails, he had learned just about your entire life that you had left behind; how many siblings you had, your two bunnys and three cats you had as a child and their names, and your strange reason for becoming a rogue ninja; to find someone suitable to marry you.
↪ Futhermore, he was able to get the front row show of your abilities. Your Kekkei Genkai was nothing too eye-widening as it simply allowed you to manipulate metal, yet the way you went about using it was nothing he expected. Never did he think someone would use a Kekkei Genkai such as yours to manipulate a whip-like sword nor did he anticipate the utter destruction a weapon like that would cause.
↪ With all that said, your inexperience shone through here and there. You made simple, avoidable mistakes but your sheer power, flexibility—your flexibility especially—and your agility helped you escape majority of what would've been life-threatening injuries.
↪ Then again, you did tell him that you left your village on a whim and basically everything other than your Kekkei Genkai was self-crafted and taught..
↪ Anyways, after your mission was over and done with, you took him out to celebrate! ..And what I mean by that is that you took him to a run-down ramen shop in the middle of nowhere.
↪ It was then that he learned something new about you; that you held the appetite larger than the tailed beast you just killed. You were embarrassed about it, but seeing as Itachi didn't mind, you let yourself run wild and bought two or three ( or was it four? ) of every kind of dish the little shack had to offer! ( It was a rather humorous sight when your meals were set down and your food towered over your head and completely covered your face and body while as Itachi was able to hold his meal—a singlaur dango stick—in his hand )
↪ After that day, his suspicions were pretty much nonexistent. He also deduced that you wore every emotion of yours on your cloud patterned sleeves for the world to see and poured your golden soul onto everyone you met whether it be friend or foe. You were naively open about everything and overall just easy to read, not that he necessarily saw that as a bad thing.
↪ He eventually told you about his past. How he slaughtered his own people and even admitted the true reason behind it. That said, you were sullen for a while after that, having realized that your reason for becoming a dangerous criminal was rather silly and kind of disrespectful in certain ways. Itachi told you that your reason for walking down this path was just as serious/valid as his even if it's not filled with guts, blood, and pain. In a way, he felt like that made you even more fit for this path. ( Because who in their right mind decides to go rogue just to find someone that would be so insanely out of their mind and strong that they'd see you—who has the raw strength to potientally manhandle the nine tails itself and features flashier/brighter than it—as a normal woman?? )
↪ He quickly got used to your fangirling and rants about the others. Although some of them, including himself, he found odd to have you raving about like a lovesick, diehard fan, he took it as one of the many odd things that makes you the person you are. It does make him worry whenever you do it on the battlefield though. ( Times like those tend to end with him swooping you out of danger like some prince charming while gently scolding you which makes you even more flustered and squealy. )
↪ Most of the others view your partnership like a parent looking after their little kid because of how much more mature Itachi is compared to you and how much he ultimately looks after you despite the two of you being around the same age.
↪ Whenever you would throw off your cloak, revealing your embarrassingly revealing outfit underneath, he's quick to grab it—ready to drape it back over you whenever the fight is done and over with.
↪ Doesn't mind your touchiness! After a battle, no matter how simple or difficult, you had a tendency of running over and crashing into him, wrapping your arms around him and giving him a tight hug and he lets you without complaint. Sadly he never reciprocates it, simply patting your head or not touching you at all, deciding to ask you about your wellbeing instead.
↪ Overall, he respects you as a comrade and as a person in general. He commends your resilience and your determination, because never once has he ever met someone who treads a path such as this one do it with a genuine, beaming, sinless smile. Never once has he met someone in this profession shed tears for the ones they strike down and apologize to the cities they ruthlessly trample and mean it with their entire being. Never once has he met someone who's guilt for their actions were just as strong as their conviction..but he can understand it. He can sympathize with you. And he will, though, he wishes that you'll achieve your goal and leave this life behind before it breaks you down, taints your soul, and ultimately kills everything he admires about you.
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Sasori ( of the Red Sand )
↪ He thought of you as a complete idiot.
↪ He honestly thought Pain was trying to play some elaborate prank on him at first, that's how much he couldn't believe it.
↪ You were..nothing the Akatsuki stood for and after the first conversation with you, ( that lasted ages by the way ) he went straight to Pain and questioned his decisions only for Pain to simply smirk and say with utmost confidence, "Just wait, you'll see her true worth in due time, Sasori. You simply have to be patient."
↪ And like the loyal dog he was, he did. Despite his impatience, he waited until your first mission was given and you two were sent to retrieve the One-Tail Beast.
↪ During your walk, you never stopped talking. You attempted to get to know your new partner, but as he was rather tight-lipped, the conversation became all about you. Your upbringing, your small, unknown clan, and even more unimportant things that he didn't care for like your siblings and their names, your pets, and your favorite sweets. That in itself was irritating, but what really got to him was how much of a klutz you were. You were rather animated and as you two passed various places to get to Sunagakure, you would often trip or slip, slowing your travels..
↪ There were various moments were he wanted to just impale you on Hiruko's tail and be done with you, but as Pain and his own curiosity insisted, he refrained and patiently awaited the time to witness your true power. And, when he was finally able to witness you completely in the zone, he was completely blown!
↪ He watched from afar, but he was able to see everything from the very moment you whipped out your peculiar sword to the moment you had the Kazekage in your grasp and were escaping.
↪ He was dumbfounded. Your power completely defied any kind of logic he once knew. Your Kekkei Genkai was nothing to gawk at, but the idea of using it to make and manipulate a flacid sword that can cut through and completely destroy even something like sand was as astonishing as it was illogical. He couldn't wrap his head around how it worked nor how you manage to wield such a high-maintenance weapon with such ease.
↪ He was also taken aback by your unique body composition. There was a moment where you miscalculated and were hit with a head on attacks from shinobi—many of which could exploded and should've completely obliterated you—but you came out of the attack completely fine and intact save for some burn marks.
↪ It was then that he was finally able to see what Pain saw in you. It was also the moment he saw you in a different light. He saw you as an actual comrade and not just some hinderance like Tobi.
↪ As you walked back together, Kankuro attacked you after having tailed you for some time. You were ready for the battle, as moved as you were by Kankuro's actions to save his little brother, but Sasori had other plans. Whether watching you fight had fired him up or there was some other reason, he told you to stand down but stay put as it was his turn to 'show off his art to you'.
↪ He went on to destroy Kankuro's puppets and immobilize him, feeling a sense of pride in the way you squealed and eagerly complimented him and his puppet.
↪ On the venture back to the hideout, he was much more open to conversation. After listening to your odd speech about how bad you felt about what you were doing, he asked about your view on what you believe is true art.
↪ "True art? Hm...well I suppose it'd be love!" And you went on to explain that whether platonic or romantic, you believed the art of love was the truest form of art there was as it was completely honest, showed a person's true character, and made people see others in a breathtaking light. That led to your confession behind your reason of joining the Akatsuki; to find someone who shared your views, someone who'd believed in love and all of its aspects and would accept someone as abnormal as you and take you as their bride.
↪ It was honestly laughable how stupid you sounded to him. Nevertheless, your acceptance of others views—no matter how illogical or flat out wrong they were—was something you two shared in common, and to that, he decided not to express his thoughts aloud for once.
↪ You didn't know Sasori for long as he died to the hands of that pink-haired kunoichi and his grandmother some time after you parted to fight the Nine-Tails Jinchuriki and his sensei, Kakashi Hatake, but even in that short of a time, you had left quite the impression on Sasori.
↪ You were immature, innocent, bubbly, and capable of sympathizing with the ones you brought misfortunate to. You were a complete enigma to him in many ways despite how willing you were to tell him everything he wished to know about you and, in a way, he liked that. It added to your charm, as dumb as that sounded coming from him.
↪ Huh, you truly were a work of art in your own right. It's a shame that he had to bite the bullet before you. He's sure that if it were the other way around and he was able to preserve your beauty in wood and silk and turn you into one of his puppets, you would've became his favorite work of art yet.
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Hidan
↪ He found you hot as hell.
↪ He didn't care about anything regarding you, the only thing he could think in that moment was how you would look butt ass naked and bouncing on his—
↪ Anyways, he could care less for you pass that, but he was overjoyed that you two were partnered together because that meant he'd have the best view of your tits at all times. How Jashin has blessed him!
↪ Speaking of tits, that's the nickname he chose to refer to you as. It was fitting in his opinion since you always kept your cloak open and the outfit you had on under..well, let's just say that it left little to the imagination. ( Which he loves more than anything because, again, the view it gives him is fantastic! )
↪ On your first mission together, it was realized very quickly that you two were polar opposites and pretty much a complete mismatch for each other in both personality and fighting wise. For reference, Hidan was like a ruthless machine gun that only cared about the rush of the sight of his opponents blood filling his vision and you were like sunflower who brightened everyone day and shed it's petals for all but people like Hidan.
↪ Safe to say that you weren't a big fan of him. Nevertheless, Pain had paired you two together and you couldn't bring yourself to bother him over something like this. ( Especially not after how you embarrassed yourself the first couple times you talked to him! >.< )
↪ Despite your many differences, you did share your story with him as well as your reasons for joining the Akatsuki. And at the face of your heartfelt story, Hidan laughed in your face and insulted you, calling you every name in the book.
↪ He also didn't believe half of what you said. I mean..you? So strong that even the kage of your village couldn't take you? Oh, please! He's sure he can beat your ass in five seconds flat! ( And he stands by that even after watching you manhandle a tailed beast )
↪ He found your worrying annoying. Whenever he would perform rituals, you would whine about him stabbing himself, worried about both him and the soil beneath him that was being mercilessly soiled by his blood. In times like those, he'll yell at you to be quiet 'lest you want to face the wrath of Jashin and yada yada.
↪ Over time, Hidan became more manageable as a partner ( or maybe you simply got so used to him that meany became an incorrect word to describe him as when brought up in conversations ) and from the jump, he wasn't all bad. For example, he didn't care for your big appetite or bright appearance! ( Though, of course, his reasons behind not caring was as vulgar as ever )
↪ He also had moments that showed that he wasn't completely heartless. There was once a time where your opponents caught you off guard and you took a big attack head on. One would think Hidan would laugh at the sight or insult you for getting taken by surprise, but instead, panic coursed through his veins and he frantically called your name and even went as far as yanking you out of danger when the smoke cleared and he realized that the attack knocked you out.
↪ He has also attempted to recruit you to Jashin on occasion. When he first saw you in action, for example. You declined every time, telling him that you had no interest in becoming apart of a religion that would allow someone as cruel and as heartless as him to join. ( He berated you for that one by the way, even went as far as to attempt to slice your head off )
↪ Speaking of which, just because he finds you attractive does not save you from his short temper! He has attacked you on various occasions and once or twice during a battle and no amount of time together will make him like you nearly enough not to attempt to kill you when you even slightly tick him off.
↪ Overall, Hidan was a tough partner to deal with. Nevertheless, you found yourself shedding tears during your escape after finding out he, despite his immortality, died. You didn't hope that his soul would be carried onto the heavens. You didn't say, "Good riddance," and say rot in hell. You didn't even pray that he'd get reborn into this world as a better person. You simply cried. After all, as horrible of a person he was, you'd be lying if you were to say that your dear partner didn't leave little marks of fondness on your heart after a while.. ( And he was just starting to warm up to you too.. :( )
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Konan
↪ She found you cute, but peculiar.
↪ You were the first person she ever recruited. When Tobi described you to her, she had some thoughts in mind in terms of the type of person you'd be. You were the princess of a clan unknown to the majority of the world. With that in mind, she thought you'd be rather down to earth, possibly a bit arrogant.
↪ It turns out she was way off. Firstly, you were much more..ebullient, than she expected. Not only that, but your appearance was much bolder than she anticipated..
↪ She wasn't expecting your eager acceptance either. While you did exchange blows initially, you immediately ceased your attacking once you heard more about the Akatsuki—specifically the part about having strong comrades.
↪ On the way back, she quickly realized how talkative you were. In the span of the day it took to get back to the hideout, she had learned virtually everything about you. Not only that, but you were unashamed in complimenting her appearance and jutsu. ( She did find it odd, though, that you grew all flustered when she politely returned the favor. )
↪ She didn't become your partner per say, but you did travel with her many times. Your unique fighting style and overall power and disposition earned you special tasks from Pain, and since the Akatsuki wasn't one to travel by themselves ( and with you two being the only females ), he sent Konan with you on those special missions.
↪ She wasn't one to become comfortable around those she wasn't especially close with, but you made it really hard not to. You were such a warm person that she naturally gravitated towards you which ultimately resulted in the two of you spending a lot time together.
↪ It was sometime during your first or second mission together that you confessed your reason behind joining. You had been feeling guilty after learning the overall goal of the Akatsuki and felt the need to apologize to Konan for joining with the sole intent on using the Akatsuki to lure in capable shinobi and rogues alike who would be crazy enough to take a woman like yourself as a bride.
↪ To your surprise, she didn't scold you nor did she laugh. She simply told you that she didn't mind your reason for joining as long as you would remain loyal to Pain and his ambitions.
↪ She found you rather silly for someone your age. Every once in a while, your mind would fill with these puerile thoughts and you'd go to the extremes acting on them.
↪ For example, there was a time where you grew weak for a while due to your attempts at hiding your appetite. You really liked Konan and thought she was cool ( Same with a lot of the others in the Akatsuki! ) and you feared that you'd put her off or that she'd consider you a risk factor or something and kick you out of the organization.
↪ Konan found out that your sudden lack of strength was due to starvation and when she confronted you about it, you tearfully confessed your fears to which she sighed. ( Because did you honestly think her or Pain would discard you over something like that? ) Not only did she not kick you, but she also took you out to eat, pushing you to order whatever and however much you'd like.
↪ Safe to say that she severely underestimated just how much you could eat. ( You had a mountain of giant bowls and plates that took up the whole entire table the two of you sat at )
↪ There was another time where you two were walking to your next mission and you were noticeably glum and silent the entire way there. She noticed that you refrained from your usual cheery rambling and during the entirety of your mission, you held this weird, scrunched expression.
↪ When questioned why after everything was over and done with, you told her the most surprising reason ever; that you were trying to seem mature and overall more like her.
↪ That was the first time you ever heard her laugh.
↪ She couldn't help it. The whole situation was incredulous to her. I mean, you want to be like her? She can maybe see your reason, but at the same time..why in the world would you do that?
↪ That said, she told you that she prefers you acting like your normal bilthesome self and was more fond of the sight of your face covered in a wide smile. She's flattered that you look up to her so much, but going so far wasn't necessary as it wasn't considered a bother or hindrance to her, Pain, or anyone else.
↪ She honestly did love how passionate you were about everything you did/believed in. Your emotional sensitivity to the people and things around you was something she admired and respected as she had overall grown to have a heart of stone over the years.
↪ She also found your unique fighting style beautiful and fitting for you. To her, it completely encapsulates your style and being, and she has mentally commended you on being able to take such a simple Kekkei Genkai such as Metal Manipulation and mold it into something like this; a weapon that no other could wield even if they had a similar power which is not an easy feat!
↪ When you're not on a mission, you two have spent time once or twice at a hot springs. Konan herself isn't one for such leisure activities, but she couldn't resist you whenever you asked. ( Plus, you managed to find one secluded that had zero knowledge on the Akatsuki and ultimately let you two in without batting an eye to your appearance ) She'll admit that it grew to be a seldom, but enjoyable pass time to partake in with you.
↪ Speaking of which, during one of those rare pass times, she saw the tattoo on your collarbone for the first time. She found it beautiful and when asked, you were more than happy to tell her all she wanted to know. ( Apparently the tattoo grants you unimaginable power and even amongst the people of your clan, it is rare to obtain. It comes with it's costs, but whether it was because of your sheer determination or some other reason, you were able to live long past the twenty-five age limit unlike the others who were granted it. )
↪ Slowly, she watched as her sunflower companion started to shrivel up. With each Akatsuki member that was killed off, you bawled your pretty little eyes out. The more it happened, the more it seem a piece of your heart cracked away. Thankfully, your rapturous personality didn't cease to exist, but Konan could see how each death that occured got to you little by little. She did her best to comfort you each time, but she could only grant you little relief.
↪ You did do something surprising, however, promising to her that you'd be her and Pain's knight and shining armor and keep them protected and alive. It was a tall order, but she humored you for the chance to see you revert back to normal.
↪ Alas, it seems that tall order was even taller in reality. Pain—or, I guess it would be better to call him by his actual name, Nagato—died, albeit of his own volition.
↪ Konan told you not to blame yourself, but you found yourself doing it anyway. Lately it seemed that all you've managed to do is get in the way and get others hurt trying to save you..and Konan could tell from a mile a day that you were thinking that.
↪ And so, after calling a truce with Naruto, she invited you to come with her back to Amegakure and work as her second in command which you ended up accepting, wanting to at least do the bare minimum of protecting her.
↪ During that small time of peace, it was nice. Amegakure saw you as the Angel's spear and praised your beauty and strength. Even then, your guilt didn't settle, if anything it ate away at you for relaxing/doing menial task while the others who passed fought long, hard battles and died fighting for what they stood for.
↪ In the end, you were finally given relief as you were soon killed by Tobi. You fought as best you could and lost half of your limbs doing your best to protect Konan and the secret of where Nagato's corpse's laid. You didn't want to go so soon, especially so quickly after the battle had begun, but your senses were dulling at a rapid rate and your blood was pooling out of you from various angles.
↪ Not everything was bad though. You died in the arms of the one who's comforted you the most throughout the years; Konan. And, even at that point, despite your uselessness, she smiled and thanked you for everything you had done and told you to rest.
↪ You didn't feel as though you deserved such kindness from her, but you didn't have the strength to fight her at that point and ended up passing away with tears rolling down your bloody, wet face..
↪ Konan loved everything about you. To her, you were the true angel, shielding everyone with your golden wings even when they began to wear down and tear. You were the light that illuminated the darkness that was the Akatsuki—her world—and she's forever grateful to fate that led you two together.
↪ You were pure—purer than the life you led. She hopes that in the next you'll have better, even if that meant she wouldn't be reborn alongside you to see it.
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Dividers were made by me, pictures used are from Pinterest, post formatting is inspired by @xxsabitoxx
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panxramic · 9 months ago
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Was just talking about this with a friend but I adore Tallulah’s hat options and how she’s started using them to reflect her emotions/how she’s feeling. I think it’s such good story telling for her because she’s very much an egg that wears her emotions on her sleeve. Before she would just tell people how she’s feeling, communicate it fully with those around her to show that.
This is Minecraft roleplay thus we do not have facial expressions or complete body moments with the egg models so having the hats adds that layer. I’ve always seen Tallulah as the kid who you can read her face like a book. When she’s frustrated and angry she puffs out her cheeks and crosses her arms. When she’s happy she wears a smile so happy and wide and when she’s sad you can physically see it on her face. How her eyebrows down turn and her frown lays there like a permanent mark. Tallulah’s emotions pour out of her like a river into the sea. She feels everything and anything, it’s also how she’s able to somewhat communicate with her dead siblings.
I think the hat thing is good for Tallulah too in general, just so she doesn’t have to talk when she doesn’t feel like it. It helps q!Phil (and others) catch on to how she’s feeling quicker. She uses them for comedic effect as well, which exemplifies how her emotions on her face range so widely. She’ll over dramatize her sadness and anger to get a laugh out of q!Phil, and the hats add that extra layer of drama. It exemplifies who she is as a kid.
I’d also like to talk about Chayanne in this regard because same friend (hi Kash ily Kash) brought up that for him it would be SOO beneficial for him to have som sort of way to display how he is feeling as an aid sort of? With Tallulah I see it more as her physically features changing or her acting a certain way but with Chayanne it’s a physical object he has that tells others how he is feeling. Both of them having a similar gimmick but used/come off in different ways because they’re different kids.
Chayanne is a kid that always has trouble wording things and speaking his mind. He’s quiet and his emotions are locked away. Some things you can notice, like how he moves slower or zones out more when he’s sad. But he never speaks up about it until he can’t hold it in anymore. Not only would it benefit him but it would benefit q!Phil as well.
q!Phil CANNOT tell when Chayanne is sad unless there is a specific or drastic change in his character, and there usually isn’t. It’s easier for him to tell with Tallulah, he’s usually good at understanding when she’s sad or off but that’s also because Tallulah is much more expressive. So when she’s quiet even for 5 minutes, he knows something is off. You can’t follow that logic with Chayanne.
And it’s not that q!Phil doesn’t care, let’s make that clear. In fact, he’s beaten himself up over it, he’s felt horrible in the past for not being able to tell when his son was feeling bad. And it’s exemplified by how for the first time Tallulah hid her feelings from q!Phil too and that’s the only time he couldn’t tell something was wrong.
q!Phil’s emotional intelligence is not high, he struggles a lot with understanding how someone else might feel. He goes off of assumptions (which can be very dangerous) or what he’s told.
So, with Chayanne, having a little symbol or object that shows when he’s sad or angry or scared, it would benefit them both. Chayanne who doesn’t know how to say how he’s feeling and q!Phil who can’t grasp emotions that well unless told directly.
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yanderes-galore · 5 months ago
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Can you do something for Koutaro Amon from Tokyo ghoul with a ghoul! darling please?
Sure! This uses info from mostly Seasons 1 of the anime, so human Amon for extra conflict.
Yandere! Koutarou Amon with Ghoul! Darling
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Angst, Violence, Blood, Ghouls eating people, Dark themes, Stalking, Fear of loss, Murder of darling, Kidnapping, Imprisonment, Restraints, Consensual relationship turned forced relationship.
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When it comes to Amon, a ghoul obsession would definitely cause... conflict.
Due to his beliefs, you being a ghoul would make him question everything.
Amon has always wanted to change the world.
He blames ghouls for making the world the way it is.
He feels the only way to fix things is to eradicate ghouls.
Then people can stop losing loved ones....
In the show his beliefs falter when he meets and fights Kaneki.
However, for this concept, what if he also met you?
Ghouls have been shown to be able to act human several times in the show.
What if you were a ghoul who was friends with Amon, but hid such a heinous truth.
Such a bond would only cause more conflict once Amon learns what you are.
Before he learns what you are, Amon's really kind.
He genuinely cares about you as a companion.
So much so he's actually scared to lose you like he lost so many others.
You two often go out to talk while he unwinds from his job.
All the while you play human, pretending to eat and making up cover stories.
I like to think you genuinely care for Amon.
He's an investigator, a dove, yet you still care.
He may hunt ghouls but you can't seem to leave him.
You hope you're different, you hope you can be there for him without having to hurt him.
Imagine if you are secretly a ghoul he's been investigating lately.
There's rumors of ghoul attacks, all attempts at you trying to survive.
To you, Amon is the only human exception.
You wouldn't eat his flesh even if you were forced.
You almost feel bad knowing your human companion is hunting you in secret.
It's better he doesn't know, really.
While Amon continues his job, he finds himself more and more attached to you.
Far as he knows, you're human.
A human he cares for... someone he's fond of...
Blissfully unaware of the fact the very ghoul he's hunting is the one he's in love with.
In fact, Amon may even begin dating you before he even knows the truth.
He calls you over once day before grabbing your hands, admitting he never wants to lose you...
He loves you...
More than anything.
You play your act well.
At night, you hunt as any ghoul does, mask and all.
In the day, your with Amon for dinners and little dates.
Amon adores you.
Some nights you force yourself to give up a meal to attend to Amon at night.
You play your double life because you don't wish to hurt him.
In fact, after your dating it's harder to resist nipping sometimes...
But you keep your promises.
The life of both of you comes crumbling once Amon catches you feeding one night.
You had told him you were tired, that you were going to bed early in your apartment.
Amon believed you and went to work, only to catch a masked ghoul in an alley.
He goes to fight, yet he catches the ghoul hesitate.
Too enraged by the sight of blood trickling down the ghoul's mouth and the carcass under them, he aims for the face...
He cuts the mask with a swipe of his weapon, the ghoul moving just in time...
Only to see you staring back at him.
Many emotions course through him... betrayal, denial, fear, sadness...
He hesitates long enough for you to push him away and escape.
You jump across the rooftops, leaving Amon there all alone in shock.
After that encounter, he doesn't see you again.
As if in disbelief he even checks your apartment... you aren't there.
This is where Amon's obsession really starts.
He loved you, yet you're a ghoul.
You're a monster who played him, aren't you?
Amon never wanted to lose or hurt you.
Even now... he finds himself still resisting the thought.
Amon's obsession becomes him focused on hunting you down.
He isn't even entirely sure why he wants to.
Does he want to kill you? Does he want answers?
Is he still scared to lose you?
Because you two were involved, he feels conflicted.
Conflicted to the point it nearly drives him insane.
To learn his partner was a ghoul... what a thought.
Amon isn't just obsessed with catching you, he's obsessed with you.
He'd rather deal with you himself rather than let another dove do it.
You're his responsibility.
His obsession only gets worse as you run from him.
You never like to fight him, you always run.
Amon could probably deal with his obsession in one of two ways if they're a ghoul.
He could kill you.
In some twisted version of "If I can't have you, no one can", Amon tries to reason with himself to put you down.
He's tired of you running from him.
You can't keep eating people.
He doesn't want to kill you, he doesn't want to lose you.
Yet eventually he vows he'll make it painless, before fighting you.
When you're dying, he lightly kisses your lips.
He promises he's always loved you despite what you are... He'll never love another.
Then he does the final blow to put you out of your misery.
It doesn't matter how strong your kagune is, Amon will keep it with him as his quinque.
It's a brutal fate, something that no doubt wears Amon's psyche down more than it already is.
He rarely uses it in battle, preferring to keep it safe with him as some sort of charm.
There's times he even strokes the weapon, naming it after you.
Now you'll always be with him... forever.
The alternative is this;
Amon imprisons you.
Amon knows he can't have you roam the streets any longer.
He also knows he can't kill you... He can't bring himself to do it.
So, instead, Amon resorts to imprisonment.
As he restrains you, he promises to take care of you.
The CCG no doubt has tech that can render a ghoul helpless somewhere.
I can see Amon using such tech to restrain you in his home, perhaps locking you in his basement to keep to himself.
You want to be let go, but he can't lose you again.
If you need to eat, he'll research ways to stunt your appetite.
That, or, he'll treat you with pieces of himself.
He's careful not to give much... but perhaps Amon loves you enough to allow you to taste his flesh... even if you hate the fact you enjoy the taste.
Or he's just insane.
Amon prefers to keep your appetite light.
It's almost like he's attempting to rehabilitate you, as if being a ghoul can be managed.
I wouldn't doubt Amon interrogating other ghouls on ways to satiate you.
Eventually he'll even give you coffee with sugar cubes, putting aside his hate for other ghouls to care for you.
You and Kaneki are the ones who make him change his beliefs more.
He loves you... and when he stops your hunts, you're just like how he remembered.
Albeit chained to his basement... like some sort of wild animal salivating over human flesh.
You may be a ghoul... but Amon still adores your kisses and hold.
Although he has to be careful as you may be more... snappy.
Amon loves you even now...
Even if he has to treat you like a monstrous pet in his basement...
He'll never let you go again.
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woncon · 3 months ago
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part three: sex on the beach
pairing: poly!stray kids x gn!reader
A day at the beach with your eight chaotic boyfriends.
genre: mini-series, fluff, suggestive, crack/humor, summer fic, established relationship, polyamory, a day on the beach
warnings: minho finally gets sex on the beach, making out as a problem-solving technique, more kisses, jeongin likes to ask questions today
word count: 5K
a/n: yay! it's done! thanks for @honeytwo for her committed work, and of course, thanks to all of you for reading this summer fic! <3
[part 1] / [part 2]
summer go loco / stray kids mlist
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While you were sliding into the water, Hyunjin attacked Chan not far away.
"Ah! Hyunne, no!" spat the older man, gasping. "I'm drowning in your spaghetti hair!"
"Oh, no!" giggled Hyunjin as he swung away with his tines flapping like mops. "If you really want to drown, drown in my love for you!"
Chan made a suffering sound and hid his face in his palms.
"Chan is weak when it comes to compliments," Seungmin stated in a whisper, having been given the humble role of Jeongin's pusher. "He's weak at other times too. Like when I loaded his barbell. He couldn't lift it because he's old."
Jeongin couldn't take it anymore, he asked.
"Do you really have a granddaddy kink?"
"No, I just like to tease Chan. Who told you that?"
“Hyunjin.”
"I'm gonna fuck his gossipy ass."
"You'd have to get him to talk to you first, wouldn't you?"
As if sensing that the conversation was about him - and his butt - Hyunjin glanced towards them. He smiled affectionately at Jeongin, but looked gloomily at Seungmin, and then took his gaze away. 
Jeongin patted Seungmin on the shoulder.
"Shall I throw you in the water?"
Jeongin immediately withdrew his hand. "Why?"
"Maybe that would cheer me up." Seungmin made a thoughtful, questioning face.
"I'd rather climb off the mat willingly then." Jeongin did so. When he felt safe, he added, "Asshole."
"Now I'm an asshole?" asked Seungmin, looking shocked. "I wasn't an asshole this morning. Then you called me a-"
"You didn't want to throw me in the water this morning to make yourself feel better." Jeongin was pushing the Monster can again. "Did you learn nothing from what happened between you and Hyunjin hyung?"
"You're right, Innie-ah. It was a stupid idea." He pushed the mattress in the boy's direction. "You can climb back in."
Jeongin grimaced.
"I don't trust you."
"At least let me make it up to you... with a kiss?"
"Isn't the point of atonement to get me something I want?" Jeongin lazily tossed the Monster can into the air, then caught it.
"You don't want my kiss, huh?" The other didn't answer that. Seungmin crept closer to him. "Am I really such a bad kisser that you'd rather throw yourself on the pebbles?" He made a curious face, showing no other emotion.
"It's not about that. I hate it when you come at me in groups."
"And now?" Seungmin bit his lip and swam even closer to him with the mattress like a cargo merman. "We're on our own. Just you and me. Do you want it now?"
Jeongin looked up at the clear blue sky as if the answer was written there.
"Maybe."
"Maybe? What does it take to get the answer to be yes?"
"Answer a simple question."
Seungmin nodded in agreement.
"Are you quite sure you're not interested in grandfathers?"
Seungmin laughed incredulously. And swimming just a short distance away from them was a grandmother and grandfather duo with two grandchildren.
"I swear to you. I like my own age group... And Chan hyung... Okay, maybe I'm interested. But only in Chan hyung."
"Last night for some reason you didn't mention how old he is... When you bit his abs... Several times. And everything."
Seungmin narrowed his eyes. "You said not to talk about last night."
Jeongin shrugged, a small smile hiding at the corner of his mouth.
"Give me my kiss."
"Did I also say you'd get it now?"
"I should have pushed you into the w-"
Jeongin grabbed the back of Seungmin's head, kissed him hard, then let go.
"Here's your kiss."
Then he swam away. Seungmin watched his receding figure. Two canoeists passed him, and even Chan was asking if he was okay when he regained consciousness. "Fuck," he muttered.
Jeongin was not even within earshot, but you and Felix immediately approached him. For the time being, it looked like he would be safe here. Felix had never kissed his face or cooed at him, and you had never cooed at him as often as Hyunjin or Changbin. He obviously didn't know what interesting things were happening while he was chilling with the others. He probably had no idea that there would be a lot of kissing in the middle of the lake. Nor did it occur to him that you were largely planning how to make it the most super day for him.
Right after you met him halfway, Hyunjin arrived in a breaststroke. With a devilish half-smile on his face, by the way. When he spoke, Jeongin's potential security was shattered.
"Innie-ah? Can I ask you something?" Hyunjin leaned his head on the boy's shoulder. "Please don't take off your shirt. If you do, I'll cum right here."
"Oh, my God." Jeongin massaged the bridge of his nose. "Can we please not talk about sex all the time? Just a little?"
"We're sexually frustrated adults. Most of us are half naked and flirting. What did you expect?" asked Felix.
Jeongin mumbled something under his breath.
"Oh, Innie," you clung to him affectionately. "Your poor innocent soul... and your poor feet."
"Stop that. I'm not a little child."
"But you are a baby. Our baby." You kissed him all over his cheekbone. Maybe all of you took it a little too seriously when you had the opportunity to bathe Jeongin in love.
 "And you need to relax."
"I'm relaxed," he said, as he was like a log in your arms. Or a hot guy in the shape of a blown-up float.
"Come on!" Hyunjin poked his nose. That wasn't the switch on the slackness function, unfortunately. "Last time I saw you smile was when the fan was running."
"And when you groped me," you reported. "If that's what it takes to make you happy, I'm here."
Jeongin's Adam's apple did a wild dance.
"As I just alluded to, I don't want it to be all about sex."
"Sex? Who mentioned sex?" Hyunjin narrowed his eyes, then glanced over at your form. “Was it you?"
"I sure wasn't."
“Felix?”
"I don't even know what the word means."
"Get lost." Jeongin tried to shake you off, but you were like Chan in the morning. A real cuddly koala.
"Come on, Innie. You're living with Minho and you still think groping is exclusively sexual?" Felix ruffled the younger's hair. You were amazed at how eager Jeongin was to indulge in his touch, even while he was droning on and in the middle of a minor argument.
You recalled what you had said to Felix minutes earlier. Maybe there's someone who needs your kiss more than I do. Not exactly your kiss. More like something to cheer him up. When you're with him, he's usually happy.
He didn't need much convincing. He also wanted Jeongin to be happy on this sunny day with his wholesome partners.
"Whatever it is, I don't want to do it. And I don't want to hear about him or Chan's bite marks or Jisung's hip-"
"What was that?" interrupted Hyunjin.
"What was what?"
Your boyfriend grinned. "That's what you were doing with your hand," he pointed out the tiny, grabbing motion, "when you mentioned Sungie's hip."
"I'm sure I didn't," Jeongin denied.
"Three credible witnesses say so."
"Only two," you corrected Hyunjin, still clinging to Jeongin. "I haven't been sane since Lix's mouth touched me."
Felix caressed the back of your neck.
"Two witnesses then. The point is the same. You want all of this. Jisung, Chan, maybe everyone. You want it so bad you're about to explode. All this frustration is not good for you. Not for you, not for us. We're here to have fun, Innie. Why are you resisting?"
"What if he doesn't want to?"
"Who? Sungie? Pff." Hyunjin sneered. "He'd feel like heaven if you got close to him."
"Anyone would feel like that," you added.
"That's stupid."
"No. That's the truth," Felix assured him. He pressed a kiss to Jeongin's temple. "We're starving for you, baby."
"There's a difference between someone saying they want to kiss you and sitting on your lap and actually doing it. They're just words. And you're always messing with me and each other. When can I take it seriously?"
"Naive boy..." mumbled Felix. "We're not messing with you."
"Didn't you know? All offers are deathly serious," Hyunjin continued. "If you say yes, it's yours."
Jeongin really did stiffen in your arms this time. You were thinking of recalling in your mind all the offers he'd received in the last few days, maybe even specifically that day. It must have been quite a lot based on the fact that you had talked a lot about Jeongin, not only in person but virtually, and how much you adored him. You had your private fan club.
"Just think about it, okay?" Hyunjin pressed a soft kiss on the back of Jeongin's head.
You let go, so he could think about what was going on without any extra weight. You didn't expect him not to know the rules of the game. You all thought that he just liked to give you the unattainable, or that he just didn't desire your advances.
All of you swam back to the big mat like a couple of cooling fish, and got caught in the middle of a conversation.
"Your feet hurt, your back hurts," Minho listed to Jisung. "Doesn't your mouth get lonely, jagi? If so, I can help you with that, and I can take your mind off the other two. Just saying."
"Can we do it like they did?" He pointed in your and Felix’s direction.
"Oh, we can do better."
"Wanna bet?" Felix was really sexy as he challenged Minho. And Minho greeted him with a sexy smile. Jisung was sexy too, as he scratched his head and lay on the mattress like he was waiting for his dream make-out session. Everyone was sexy. You saw the world, or more accurately your boyfriends, through overly sexy lenses since Felix's mouth touched yours.
"Let’s bet."
After being flooded with mattress memories, you realized what was happening.
Oh my goodness, how many dishes you've washed and vacuumed dust bunnies for betting with Felix! If you were forced to bet, you'd bet with anyone else, even Hyunjin, who bets in vile values, just not Felix. The guy's a master, and you've learned that the hard way.
"Are you sure, hyung?" asked Hyunjin, putting the pink sunglasses back on, not just resting on the top of his head. "You already lost one today. You want to do two penalties in one day?"
"Don't worry about me, Hyunne. I'm unbeatable at kissing Sungie."
"You're not going to kiss Sungie this time," Felix indicated. "This time you're going to kiss like,” he said your name with an impish smile. “and me. Or so you want to. Can you do that?"
Minho licked his lips.
"What do you give when I do?"
"Okay, okay, stop it." Jeongin stepped between Minho, who was leaning against the mattress, and Felix. "What now? A summer mating battle? I don't know exactly what Felix and they did, but I'm sure it won't be repeated here."
"If you're playing Chan today, what will you give us to stop?" asked Jisung slyly, elbowing up. "Scrambled eggs for breakfast? A cuddle afternoon? Kisses?"
It was pretty clear that Chan was spoiling you.
"I can give kisses. To everyone," Jeongin said. He was tense, judging by the way he was playing with the squashed Monster box. 'First thing you'll do when you get out of here is throw away the metal and replace it with a hand. If you can't use your own, you can use someone else's. "Behind the willow tree on the beach."
Jeongin turned and headed for the stairs.
Silence. Even the seagull raiding the beach fell silent at Jeongin's offer. So did you. You restored Changbin's fallen chin, who then looked at you with sparkling eyes.
"Jeongin offered his mouth. All my dreams have come true."
"Wow," Jisung also acknowledged what had happened. "I need to get to shore as soon as possible. Can you push me out, jagi?"
"Sure," nodded Minho. He quickly forgot about the bet. "As fast as I can, no question."
"Let's go until he changes his mind," Felix nodded as well. "I'll go quickly and tell the others. Will you be alright?"
"Of course," you assured him. "I'll kiss Jeongin so hard that- Hey, Minho! Wait for me! I'm getting on!" The mattress was pushed that day, perhaps never before, with the vehemence that Minho and Changbin were pushing it.
It's a wonder they waited. Or maybe it was just a testament to how much they loved you that they were able to wait for you with the promise of an Innie kiss before them.
The willow tree Jeongin picked was huge. Chan could have fit twice its length behind it. It was shady and hidden from prying eyes. It was a feature that caught the eye of others, because in the grass was a suspicious resemblance to a used condom. Fortunately, when it was your turn to follow Minho and Changbin, you weren't concerned with what was down below.
Jeongin gently pushed you against the trunk of the tree. The rough surface peeked through your towel and pressed against your shoulder, but you didn't give a damn.
"Is that how you want it?" Jeongin hummed at your question. "With ants?"
The boy rested his hand next to your head. This gesture was cringe-worthy in many places. However, this time Jeongin did it. If he was going to do the same to Chan, you hoped the poor guy wouldn't get too dizzy.
"There are none. I just have questions."
"Questions? I thought you had kisses. For me."
"Just take a turn. Questions first, then kisses."
"Fine. What do you want to know?"
"How would you like it? Slow and gentle, like Binnie hyung? Or hard, like Minho hyung? Shall I bite your mouth?"
Oh, fuck.
"Whatever. Just keep your mouth on mine." You traced your fingers over the carotid artery, one of his sensitive spots, and with the same vigor he sucked in air sharply, he leaned in to take your mouth.
It's an established fact that he's got you on the edge. And he kissed you fantastically, just the way you like it. You wouldn't have minded ants dropping on you.
Jeongin gasped out your name in a breathy whimper, eyes clouded with haze. He leaned away from you, when you were in the middle of working to rip off his soaked T-shirt.
"Sorry. I just thought you might catch a cold. Besides, Hyunjin's not here to come in his pants if he sees you half naked."
"Don't bet on it. I think he's always watching." Jeongin grabbed your wrist and untucked it from his shirt. Then he surprised you by reaching back to pull it off himself.
Before you could fall like wow, Innie had just grabbed his shirt off you, his palm sliding down your side and settling on your waist. He gently pulled you to him.
"Happy now?"
You nodded enthusiastically.
You touched his bicep. "May I?"
"You may."
You touched every nook and cranny of his exposed skin. Jeongin watched softly, then nuzzled into your neck.
"You're just like us," you said.
"The most you've ever seen me pinching cheeks is in your dreams," he immediately countered.
"You hunger for intimacy as much as we do. You're just as completely in love. That's what I meant. Am I wrong?"
"You like it when you're right, yes?"
"Who doesn't?"
Jeongin, a confident, grown man, stuck his tongue out at you. You, also an adult, and often recorded as Felix's baby, stuck yours out too and smiled. Of course, when Jeongin wanted to kiss you again, you didn't resist. You pulled him close to you and enjoyed that he wanted you.
Finally, you stumbled out from behind the willow tree with a happy grin. Although it would be more accurate to use the term, dizzy out. You sat down on the blanket opposite the water. Everything about you, even your soul, tingled at Jeongin's nearness. You spread his wet shirt on the grass to dry. Sometimes you tilted your head as if you were looking at a trophy. When someone came close enough to you, you'd show it off.
The next eager volunteer behind the tree was Hyunjin, who spent a few seconds blinking exclusively as Jeongin remained half naked.
"What? Did you cum in your pants?" The younger one leaned against the tree.
"D’you want me to?"
"I want your kiss. Or would you rather have mine?"
"Then I'll kiss you all over." As Hyunjin eagerly stepped closer, Jeongin stepped back.
"That's not a fundamental right, hyung. Especially not today."
"You want me to beg for it?"
"Would you?" Jeongin smiled devilishly. "Would you beg for my kiss?"
"You little demon..." Hyunjin held out his hand in fascination, but the other didn't even let it touch his shoulder.
"Maybe you should beg to touch me first."
Hyunjin licked his lips.
"Please, muse. Let me touch you. That's all I want. Please let me. I promise I'll treat you well, and you'll enjoy it too."
"Close your eyes, hyung, and wait."
Hyunjin obeyed.
From the looks of it, Jeongin had indeed decided to become Chan for a while, taking some of the conflict management upon himself, because while Hyunjin closed his eyes and his full lips were ready to kiss the hell out of Jeongin, Jeongin led Seungmin in on the other side of the willow tree. Then he made him face Hyunjin. Seungmin made a puzzled face, but Jeongin persuaded him with nods and various hand gestures urging him to get closer. Seungmin finally stepped in front of Hyunjin and kissed him. Hyunjin threw himself into his neck and was determined to swallow the boy he thought was Jeongin.
He didn't realize the folly until Seungmin moaned into his mouth. Then he pulled away, blinking round-eyed at Seungmin and at Jeongin, who stood a few steps away, smiling contentedly.
"I'm sorry, Hyunne." Seungmin turned the older man's face towards himself. "I'd be Innie for you, if that's what you want."
"Don't be stupid." Hyunjin frowned.
"But I am your stupid."
"Don't embarrass yourself in public, Minnie." Hyunjin pressed one last kiss to Seungmin's lips and held his cheek in the palm of his hand. "I've already forgiven you. I'll wash my hair again tomorrow."
"I'd be happy to help you."
"Will you also help me get Jeongin's promised kiss?"
Seungmin grinned. "Of course."
As soon as the last of the satisfied men came out from behind the willow tree, Hyunjin and Jeongin went upstairs to buy cocktails. They argued that it was for Minho's betting punishment. They said no more. Jisung and Seungmin badgered Minho to tell them the secret, then gave up and took revenge by laying down on top of him. Chan and Felix played Uno. Changbin lounged beside you, and you watched the swans with their chicks as they swam among the stones. There were no bird feeders in the area, so you could only watch them.
"When you kissed Felix, it was very hot," Changbin noted.
"And you're just saying that out of the blue?"
"I can't think of anything else since."
"You're cute." You took the opportunity to pinch his chubby cheeks. It was a good thing he was so muscular. His body was a great pillow and his face was chubby, really chewy. "Who did you imagine yourself to be?"
"Is that a serious question?" he got embarrassed almost immediately.
"Both, then."
"Of course, both. There is no other answer that is correct."
"Actually... there may be. If you imagine yourself as a third party."
Changbin moaned and leaned back on the grass. "Don't do this to me! The way you torture me is unhealthy."
You smiled and followed his example, resting your head on his shoulder.
"I didn't say think about it."
"It's like the purple elephant. Once you say it, there's nothing to do but think about it."
"I'm sorry." You planned to gently pat his stomach as a sign of regret, then somehow your hand stayed. It stayed there, like the thought in your head of how nice it would be to kiss Changbin.
As usual, you promised yourself that you would change your kissing habits and become more resistant to the stimulus. Like Minho, or even Jeongin. Of course, that was easier said and promised than done. Especially under the circumstances: you have Seo Changbin lying half-naked next to you, and he's practically pouting as he tells you how sexy you were kissing Felix.
You looked around. As time went on, there were fewer and fewer people on the beach. A couple of fishermen farther away, young people were picking their beaching supplies, and you overheard snippets of conversations in which participants planned to stay and watch the sunset. Families with young children had already left, probably for dinner. The youths were lost in their own world, the others were preparing for the sunset, and the fisher uncles were hopefully waiting for the catch, not how long you have to feel Changbin's chest to elicit a groan. Brilliant.
You took the towel off your shoulders, then spread it over your head.
"What are you up to?"
"Well, you don't have to just think about it." You snuggled closer to him on the blanket, one leg draped over his hip. His warm palm immediately found your thigh.
"Uno!" shouted Felix.
"Lix, if you win this round, can you come here?" you asked.
"Sure. I'm not giving Chan a chance to fight back like last time... And I won!"
While Felix carried himself over to your blankets, Changbin showered you with kisses. Slow, sweet kisses. First on the tip of your nose, then on your forehead, temple and cheek.
"You really are sweet," you smiled.
"I'm not sweet, just weak. Weak for and from love."
You stroked his cheek. You didn't exaggerate with your words. He nuzzled into your palm and continued to watch you lovingly. He deserved that kiss.
"Are you holding a secret council?" joined Felix under your towel. Luckily, it was big enough to fit all three of you underneath. He nestled himself next to Changbin, resting his chin on the boy's shoulder. "What is there to talk about?"
"We don't want to talk, do we, Binnie?" you caressed his mouth, and his lips parted instantly.
"Oh. So that's why you've been hiding."
"Poor thing couldn’t get our kiss out of his head."
Changbin nodded. Felix ran his fingers through the other's hair, playing gently with it. "Is that what you want, Binnie? That kiss?"
"Y-yes. I liked it a lot."
"You know we can't say no when you're so desperate," Felix whispered. He kissed the sensitive skin behind the boy's ear, then glanced at you. You understood what he wanted. You didn't hesitate any longer. You cupped Changbin's chin to stop him moving and leaned into his mouth. You didn't kiss him yet, just took his bottom lip between your teeth, like Felix did with you. Then you licked his lips. Changbin moaned and trembled. He threw himself after your mouth, and that was a good thing, because when Felix grabbed his pecs, you were lucky that your mouth absorbed the passionate sound Changbin made.
He probably would have given himself to you right there and then if you'd wanted all he had. He always loved to give.
He grabbed your thigh and refused to let go. You didn't want to go either. Felix covered Changbin's neck with kisses. It was the last thing you noticed before you fell into the act of kissing with one of your boyfriends again that day.
By the time Jeongin and Hyunjin returned with four cocktails, the three of you were hugging and panting with numb mouths. As the ice cubes clinked softly in the glasses and straws danced along the lemon rims as the two boys prepared the ground for punishment, Jisung grinned and leaned over Felix.
"I'll be next, okay?"
"I never thought you'd like it so much when I kiss our lovers."
"There's something special about it." Jisung sat down next to you. "Ultimately, I'm glad Innie didn't let us bet. Don't tell jagi, but I think we would have lost."
"I think he knows," Changbin said, glancing toward Minho. You lifted your head from his chest to take a look for yourself at the aforementioned. He watched your little grouping with a penetrating glance. He was so hot-
No. Pull yourself together. Your lips can't take any more kisses.
Instead, you looked towards Hyunjin and Jeongin, who were fiddling with the glasses and for some reason pulled out Felix's sleeping mask. Whatever they were up to, Seungmin was smiling contentedly beside them like he was having a great time. Chan was unaware that the punishment was happening now because he had fallen asleep after the Uno party. He still had the cards under his head, but no one had the heart to wake him up and you just let him sleep. On the other hand, you couldn't be sure he wouldn't object to what the bet winners were planning to do.
The rest of you were slowly gathering around the events. Hyunjin handed Minho the sleeping mask.
"Are you going to poison me?"
"Just a little."
Minho grimaced in displeasure.
"Let me remind you that you invented this punishment. Take it." Hyunjin patted Minho's cheek, then retreated. As soon as Minho had the mask on properly, Jeongin and Hyunjin began to cavort. Soon the four different cocktails had turned into one glass of disgusting-coloured, mixed-up mess, and another glass of a clearer colour.
"Open your mouth, hyung!" Jeongin approached with the first glass. He did not hand it to him, but carefully poured a sip into his mouth. Minho spat.
"What the fuck is this?"
"Cocktail." The boy ran the juice around the side of the glass. "Bottoms up!"
"I hate my bets," he sighed irritably.
Finally he drank every disgusting drop. You wouldn't have wanted to be in his shoes. The first glass was empty, the second came. Hyunjin held it up to Minho's mouth. After the first sip, the boy grunted and moaned.
"It's-it's delicious. What did you mix?"
"It's just plain sex on the beach. Jeongin told me how much you wanted it. Don't tell us we tortured you the whole time."
Minho drank that in with more enthusiasm. The last sip rolled down to his Adam's apple.
"That's your punishment." Hyunjin lapped up the tiny drop, happily swallowing it. "You have fulfilled it."
You congratulated him. Jeongin collected the glasses, Seungmin put the sleeping mask away. You helped gather Jisung's dry clothes, because he was getting cold, and accompanied him to the dressing rooms. Finally, once you were there, you went in with him. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
"Anyway... Get ready."
You hung your towel on the rack and turned to the boy with a questioning look. Jisung grinned, and that only made you more curious.
"Huh? What for?"
"I'm going to kiss you so hard you won't want to do anything else for hours."
"Now?"
"I wish, but right now we barely have minutes. Sometime when you're not expecting it." When did Jisung's hand come to your side? "I want to hear the sound you made from Felix's mouth."
"That sounds good." You took the opportunity to touch his hip. "Maybe I can get you to make the sounds you make when you kiss Minho."
"Deal."
Then you quickly got dressed, knowing that Jeongin was in the next stall and would quickly put a stop to any inappropriate action as Chan's responsible deputy.
You yourself shed the slightly damp swimsuit and took a dry seat on a less damp corner of the blanket. Behind you on the air-scoughing mattresses, Changbin issuing instructions. In front of you, the water, bridged orange by the light of the setting sun and the lapping sound of the waves as they crashed against the stones.
Jeongin settled down beside you. He leaned his head on your shoulder.
 "Did you have a good time?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "It was pretty good after all." He smiled broadly. Cheerfully, sincerely, and before the sunset. Your heart beating feverishly, pride embraced you. "I had a good time today."
"I'm glad." You tilted your own on top of his head, and together you watched the sun go down. A tiny sliver was still visible on the horizon when Minho held out his hand.
"Come on. The day is over. Let's go home."
"Let's go home," you nodded, letting him pull you up off the ground, and then Jeongin. The others competently packed up your stuff so you could be rascally donkeys again on the way back. Chan would have fit right in as a sleeping rascal donkey. Hyunjin assured him that he would drive and Chan should sleep peacefully in the car. Chan smiled gratefully at him. Then he tried to kick Seungmin in the butt, who said something about the need for elderly people to sleep. Seungmin laughed and ran forward, only to suffer a slap on the back of the head from Felix.
You had two bags slung over your shoulders when Minho slapped you on the ass with a snap.
"Hurry up, we're being eaten by mosquitoes!" he smirked.
You laughed in disbelief, then followed him down the path. In revenge, you stuck your hand in his back pocket and didn't take it out until you reached the car.
It was a hot day. Really hot. A real heatwave day, when everyone turns into a walking ice cream cone. But a really exciting, good day to spend with your boyfriends, swimming in your own chaos, and in the water.
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stay taglist :: 💕@lemonn015
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delreyshit · 3 months ago
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As a surrender
Summary: Your relationship with Ghost is not the best. But feelings are undeniable for him. Everything changes when your life seems to be in danger. Note: Not very explicit but it does contain sexual scenes(oral sex). The perspective in which I wrote this is not what I'm used to, but I hope you like it.
Warning: the reader can identify with the character of “Lisa Muñoz”, this is just a name I use for the background of the story but if you still don't like the fact that the reader is not textually represented, I'm sorry.
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When you joined the task force, it was Ghost that caught your attention the most. A man with a suit that made him look even more corpulent than he already was and a mysterious mask, which hid his identity, caught your attention as soon as you met the lieutenant. You were delighted by Ghost's mysterious attractiveness, but, that vanished a few seconds after they spoke for the first time. You remember very well, the first time you met, you didn't talk at all, he was minding his own business and you just admired his masculine body and... Did I mention strapping? For someone not very tall like you, that man could be intimidating with his presence. The second time you bumped into each other, that's when the mutual contempt and hatred between you broke out.
“Lisa… Who the hell is Lisa Muñoz?” Ghost's irritated voice was heard, between the walls of the operating room.
The murmurs were not long in coming, people felt nervous, which made you feel reckless as you rose from your seat. His eyes rested on your weak figure. He folded his arms, waiting for you to approach him.
“Do you need something, Sir?” you asked, feeling the bile rise in your throat fearing to be the source of his bad mood.
“Yes, I need to know how on earth you were employed. Your report is awful, I've never read anything so terrible before.” He fanned the envelope in your face, cutting the few feet of distance between you.
“The report is thorough. I doubt there's anything important missing in there.” You replied, somewhat annoyed by his sadistic attitude.
He watched you, impressed that you confronted him instead of giving him some apologies for, as he saw it, a barely perfunctory job. He pushed the enclosed folder to your chest and with a tense jaw said, “Do it again, I want it ready by eight o'clock tomorrow. If you don't deliver something that meets my expectations, I'll make sure my superiors fire you.”
The jerk had you all night working up at least 3 different versions of an old mission report (just in case he didn't like any of them). The next day, when you turned in your very hard work, he didn't bother to tell you, “I guess that's what I can settle for. It could have been better…”
A total jerk, no doubt. Sometimes when you were in a good mood, you tried to empathize with him by being “nice.” You always failed because, to whatever it was, Ghost would respond rudely. He didn't like you and you didn't quite know why. The truth was far from what you thought, Ghost was captivated and even almost in love with you and your loving way of being. He hated himself for that, being close to you he was vulnerable and didn't like to experience emotions like that. In his eyes, from the first moment he saw you, you became the most exquisite woman he had ever seen. I mean, Ghost wasn't a virgin man or anything like that, God knows everything that man has done, but with such a complicated life he never thought about love. You were always good at doing your job and people love you, especially men and he always knew that. That's why every time he sought you out to belittle what you did, all he would say to you were poor excuses so he could talk to you and of course it was his jealousy showing through. He never knew how to handle his feelings, which is exactly why he thought it was best to be a bully to you.
His hateful attitude changed when you started accompanying him on missions, he often worried about your health and despite teasing you for feeling nervous. Although when the two of you started to suffer from the uncomfortable atmosphere, he could think of nothing better than to tell jokes. They were strange and boring, but you felt almost blessed that he wasn't treating you harshly for a few minutes. They used to distract you from the fear and started to help you and Ghost get along better, gradually you felt closer.
Neither of you imagined that the next mission you would be alone on would turn your relationship upside down.
“When can we rest?” you asked with a yawn. “I don't know… But you should have slept before we started the mission.” Ghost muttered, from the other radio.
“I'd like some coffee.” “Maybe, when you get caught you can ask the narcs for a couple of beans, surely they must have some.” “What do you mean, when they catch you?” You asked quizzically. “They won't have a hard time catching you, Lisa. You're sleepy and alone, plus you always screw something up.” “Fuck you. I'll still beat you to the package. “You whispered as you walked down a narrow hallway.
“We'll see about that, doll.” He mocked you back.
You stopped your steps when you reached the entrance to a large lighted hallway/balcony. You walked to the edge of the metal floor and peeked out, careful not to fall, taking a close look at the drug-filled tanks.
<<What the fuck is all this>> you thought.
“Apparently you were right, you got here before-” Ghost's sudden voice from behind you took you by surprise. You panicked and by instinct your body lurched as you spun around. Your feet slipped and you fell. The muffled cry that came from your lips, calling out to him, sent Ghost running to the shore.
“Shit, shit, shit…” shouted Ghost, frightened for you.
He didn't hesitate a second longer and jumped in your search, to your rescue. Your body plunged into a tank full of grams and like quicksand, the tons of dope pressed down on your body, drowning you quickly. Ghost fell with momentum into the same tank you were already in. The strength of his body helped him avoid being trapped. The lack of oxygen kept you asleep for quite a while, as Ghost struggled to pull you out. When he finally found you, his big arms grabbed your hips, pulling you close and pressing your body against his, keeping you from being separated by the pressure.
He swam to the outside and while he held your fragile body with one hand, he levered the edge of the tank with the other to get you out. He held you like a sack of potatoes as he walked across the rough floor. He stopped on a roofed place and, with great delicacy, supported you on the pavement. He sat on you while holding your jaw. He took off a glove and with two fingers searched your neck for any sign of a pulse.
<<She is unstable, fuck>> he thought as he sighed in anguish.
“Lisa.” He mumbled a couple of times. However, you didn't wake up.
He lifted his mask up to his nose and slowly bent down until he was level with your face. His hands moved to your nape and jaw, holding you firmly as he pressed his lips together, giving you oxygen.
You moaned in pleasure as Ghost's soft caresses spread over you, opening your eyes as you smiled. Ghost pulled away, embarrassed and confused.
“What the fuck?” “You fell for it, you fool. You thought I was dying and-”
He didn't listen to your taunts, he understood perfectly well that you had wanted to scare him, give him a bit of his comeuppance. Bravely, he leaned in to taste the flesh of your lips again. As soon as your mouths met, your tongues danced with each other playing foully. Ghost lay on top of your body as you both rubbed each other with need. When you separated for lack of oxygen, a thin line of saliva held you together. You regulated your breathing, dazed.
“I think we need to finish the mission…” you whispered, still unwilling to let go of Ghost.
“No way, the mission can wait.” He answered you.
You didn't notice when your thighs were pressing against Ghost's head.
“You taste fucking sweet.” He babbles drunkenly for you as his tongue sucks intensely at your hole.
Your fingernails scratch the hard cement of the floor and your back arches with each suck Ghost makes on your needy hole. His fingers move between your belly and your extremely sensitive clit, warming you with every mark he leaves in his wake.
“Come on, baby. Lubricate my face.”
His warm breath crashing into you, drooling as he urges you to cum makes you dizzy. He playfully digs his teeth into your swollen lips, making you moan incoherent sounds. You were so shattered when he thrust a thick finger into you, that with tears running down your cheeks you come hard into his mask and mouth.
No doubt it was going to be a very long night….
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Extra note: English is not my first language, so I apologize in case there are some mistakes, I try to get better every day. Also if you think I need to work on something, don't doubt to let me know.
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jennaajoseph · 8 months ago
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ㅤㅤㅤ ❛ Home. ❜ ⸻ Holden Worther x F!Reader.
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── ﹙౨ৎ ⋆。˚ MASTERLIST&INFO.﹚. ☆
౨ৎ ⋆。˚ SUMMARY. ⸻ Holden comes home after a long time at the mental hospital.
౨ৎ ⋆。˚ PAIRING. ⸻ holden worther x fem!reader.
౨ৎ ⋆。˚ CONTENTS. ⸻ fluff, kinda sad if you ask me, bf!holden, generally sensitive topics, mentions of: mental hospital, drinking, rehab, failed suicide attempt, female reader.
౨ৎ ⋆。˚ A/N. ⸻ an universe where Holden got help he deserved tbh. Can y'all write more fics for Holden pls??
This one has quite sensitive topics, feel free to correct me if it's needed! Thank you!
Also it took a longer time for me to upload smth cuz someone requested Holden and I wanted to post it first!
(also I think about doing a part two on that, we'll see.)
౨ৎ ⋆。˚ CREDITS. ⸻ photo - pinterest (cropped by me) , divider - @/cafekitsune.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ﹙©jennaajoseph﹚
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After a failed suicide attempt caused by Holden's drinking problem, he finally agrees to get proffesional help. You were happy that he finally went to the mental hospital, where he was slowly getting better, going to rehab and therapy. Even if that meant not seeing him a lot, you were still happy that he was willing to work to become a better version of himself.
When Holden was in the hospital, he wrote you a lot of different stories. Your desk was always filled with sheets of paper. As time passed, his stories began to be less dark than before, and you took that as a good sign.
Sometimes he wrote you letters, writing about how he's feeling, and asking how you are feeling, how much he missed you, or how much he finally wants to finally see you and "kiss your pretty face". From the letters, you also found out that he started to really enjoy crafting. He sent you his every work; drawings, origami or small paintings made with acrylic paint.
Your room was full of things from him, and every time he sent you something new, you missed him even more.
⭑⭒⭒
Finally, when it was time for Holden to come back home, you couldn't hold your excitement. You were willing to help him with everything he needed, and support him all the time.
You and his parents drove to the hospital to pick him up. Of course, you were way more excited than them, but you were still glad they helped Holden get the help he deserved. They didn't show much emotion to anyone anyway, even themselves.
All of you were in the waiting room. Your leg bounced anxiously as you bit your nails. A bad habit of yours. Holden's parents were reading a magazine, not really caring about the world around them.
"Here for Thomas Worther?" A doctor appeared in the room, looking at some papers. Your head immediately jolted up when you heard his voice. Holden's mom confirmed, the doctor nodded, disappearing from the room the second after.
You let out an anxious sigh, but also a small excitement washed over you, finally being able to see Holden after a long time was something you were looking forward to for a long time. You couldn't visit him because of the policy. Only family members were allowed to, which was also quite limited because of his condition.
The door of the waiting room opened again after a while, Holden and a nurse entered the room.
"Okay Holden, wish you luck!" She smiled at him, and he nodded. The nurse turned to his parents and gave them some papers to sign, also talking about his therapy and rehab that he's still supposed to attend.
Holden quickly dropped his bags on the floor when he saw you. "Oh God, y/n" he quickly rushed in your direction. You stood up from your seat, and he wrapped his arms around you squeezing you tightly. You hugged him back as he hid his face in the crook of your neck. "I missed you so fucking much."
"Oh, Holden." You tried to hold your tears back, it was the first time you held him in almost 4 months. "I missed you too." You whispered, running your hand in his hair.
"I was scared that you won't be here." He gave you a pleading look, and your heart broke even more.
"Holden, I've been waiting for all this time." You cupped his face with both hands.
"I wanna go home..." He whispered, pressing your hands on his face harder. "...with you."
"Okay, we are going home soon, I promise." You reassured him.
"Tom," You both turned your head towards his parents and a nurse. "I think it's time for us to go home."
He quickly nodded grabbing your hand, and picking up his bags, everyone was ready to leave when the nurse spoke again. "Take care of yourself, Holden." She looked at him, then at you. You smiled at her gently.
"I will." He responded softly.
The car ride was filled with Holden's stories from the hospital. He sat very close to you, tightly holding your hand the whole time. He told you everything. What was his routine, his doctor visits, how his therapy looked like, what he learned. You couldn't stop listening. You missed everything about him.
⭑⭒⭒
"Let me grab this." His father said, when Holden wanted to pick his bags up from the car.
"Thanks." He said quietly.
His father carried his stuff into the house. When Holden stepped inside he didn't quite know what he should do with himself now, so his eyes just wandered around the house.
"Do you need something, Tom?" His mom asked from behind.
"No, no, i don't need anything." He replied.
His mother quietly nodded. His father stood next to her and sighed, placing his hands on his hips. "If you need something, we will be downstairs." He said.
"Okay."
There was a quite long silence afterwards that was interrupted by you stepping into the house. "Let me help you with the bags, Holden." You grabbed his backpack.
"Oh, right." He grabbed the rest of his stuff and slowly headed upstairs.
You took the last look at his parents and smiled gently. They returned the smile.
You went upstairs, right after Holden. He placed his bags on the floor and looked around. You quietly placed his backpack in the same spot.
He said turned back to look at you as you stepped closer to him, cupping his face with both of your hands. He gave you a pleading look again, and went silent for a second. "Did you cheat on me when I was away?"
A shocked look appeared on your face. "What? Holden-"
"Please be honest with me, you don't need to lie." His voice was getting cracky as a few tears rolled down his cheeks
You furrowed your eyebrows in sadness. Your heart broke at his words. The thought of cheating on him didn't even cross your mind. "Holden I could never do that to you."
"Please just tell me if you did." He buried his face in the crook of your neck as he broke down crying.
You held him, gently caressing his back, holding back tears. "I swear to God, baby I didn't."
"I was away for almost 4 months, how could you not." He sobbed against your neck.
"Because I promised that I'll be here for you, and I love you with my whole heart." You grabbed his face gently to make him look at you. This time you gave him a pleading look. "You are my home."
His bottom lip quivered as he pulled you closer to him.
"I promise you, I would never do anything like that."
He nodded his head slightly. You two sat on the bed as you helped him calm down a little.
"You promise?" He whispered.
"I promise, my love." You kissed his lips gently, and he held you tightly by your waist.
"I can't express how much I love you." He said, his grip getting harder on you.
"Easy, Holden, you are gonna crush me." You chuckled quietly, wiping his tears.
"I'm sorry, I just need you really really close." He said in almost begging tone.
"We can cuddle for a bit, is that okay?" You brushed your thumbs against his cheeks. He nodded instantly.
You both cuddled on his bed, his face buried in your chest, his hands holding you around your waist, this time not that hard.
"Did you saw the gifts I sent you?" He changed the subject, looking up at you.
"Of course I did!" You smiled.
"Did you like them?"
"I love them, Holden." You caressed his cheek with one of your hands, and he blushed. "You are very talented, you know that?"
"Maybe..." He murmured against your chest.
You rolled your eyes playfully, and placed your head on top of his. "You are."
"Okay" He grinned slightly. "I have something I didn't send you."
"Really?" Your eyes widened.
"Do you want to see what is it?"
"Of course I do!" You sat on the bed excitedly.
He smiled and grabbed his backpack. "I made it in one of my art therapy classes."
"Show me, please."
His hand was searching in his bag, after a second he pulled out two colorful bracelets. "I hope you'll like them." He held them up for you to see.
"You made that?" You took the bracelets from him, smiling. "They look wonderful!"
"They have yours and my name on it." He pointed at the beads with letters.
"Oh, that's right!" Your smile got wider as you saw that one of the bracelets has "Holden" written on it and the second one "y/n". "That's the cutest thing I have ever seen."
"Really?"
"Yeah!" You said, sliding the bracelet on your wrist. "I'll keep the "Holden" one and you'll keep the "y/n" one." You slid the second bracelet on his wrist too. "Now we match!"
He smiled widely, and held your face to give you a kiss. You quickly returned it.
"I'm so lucky to have you." He mumbled between kisses.
You smiled into the kiss. "I love you, Holden."
"I love you too, y/n, so, so, so much."
You giggled as his kisses got all over your face. "Easy baby, I'm not going anywhere."
"I know I just, I missed you so damn much." He pulled you closer to him, panting slightly as he stopped kissing you.
"I missed you too." You gave him a soft smile.
"Do you think you can stay for the night?" He gave you a sad puppy look. Begging you to stay with him. "I know that you have work-" You quickly cut him off.
"I can stay for how long you need." You whispered kissing his forehead. "My home is right there, with you."
⭑⭒⭒
After two weeks, Holden got more comfortable being at home. You drove him to therapy once a week to help him with his mental illness, and after that he went to alcohol rehab, helping with his drinking problems. These days were the most busy, you just sat outside the room he was in, and waited for a couple hours, but it was worth seeing his big smile when it was time to go home.
He also needed to fix himself a new routine, which you helped him with. You always reminded him to take his meds every morning.
He also didn't quit his hobbies. Every day he did something new for you, a drawing, story, poem, painting, bracelet or small origami. You always were excited to see what he did, and he was always excited to give it to you.
Holden was basically glued to you all the time, from the moment you woke up, to the moment you went to sleep. On the days when you had work, he woke up at the same time as you, made you breakfast and helped you get ready. Sometimes, in the morning, you two took a shower together which usually led to heavy make out session before work, or even sex when you had more spare time.
He always told you how much he appreciates that you are still here for him after what happened, and he tried his best to make you feel loved and safe, showering you with kisses, hugs or literally any physical contact — his favourite way of showing affection.
His parents were also glad for your help, even though you didn't really talked to them, you knew they were happy with your presence. They didn't really mind you staying for that long, but to be honest, you wanted Holden to move into your apartment when he finds himself a job. Your money from working at Retail Rodeo wasn't much to cover up for you two, and for safety reasons you wanted Holden to stay with his parents a little longer.
⭑⭒⭒
You finished showering, and dressed in your pajamas, quickly went on tip toes to Holden's room.
"Okay I'm done, you can go now." You closed the door behind you and saw him lying on the bed, smiling sheepishly. "What?" You grinned at him.
"Come here." He opened his arms, suggesting for you to cuddle with him. You quickly jumped into his arms and he rolled you over so now he was straddling you.
You sighed with a smile. "We are not fucking."
"Who said that I want to fuck?" He grinned and started kissing your cheeks.
"I know you Holden, you are a very horny person." You giggled.
"It's hard not to be around you." He looked into your eyes. You gently ran one of your hands through his hair and smiled at him. He stared at you for a good couple minutes before finally speaking. "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."
You rolled your eyes platfully. "C'mon, I'm not that beautiful."
He rolled his eyes, mocking you. "Yes you are, at least for me."
You smiled softly and caressed his cheek. "You are very handsome to me too."
He grinned widely. "Thank you."
"For what? Complements?"
"For simply existing, you helped me a lot." He tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear. "I'm very happy it was you."
You couldn't help but smile. Holden appreciated literally everything you did for him, even if it was something small, he would be head over heels for you, and it's allways been like this. He would always return the favour with something bigger than you usually did for him.
You grabbed his face gently, and pulled him into a kiss. "I'm very happy it was you too." You mumbled into the kiss.
"I'm excited for our future together." He smiled sheepishly when the kiss ended.
"You have no idea how excited I am too."
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