#im so bad with anything that goes on too long
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I was physically healthier in grade school, but I had a lot going on emotionally. I had ppl calling me trans n lesbian before it was acceptable. Im cisgender n thought I was straight at the time. (I turned out to be very asexual). I started missing school because the emotional torment was too much.
The principal n teachers thought I was hearing voices - because I could not identify the harassers. They were in a younger grade, they harassed me for years in another school before they were old enough to attend this one. I didn’t know their names. I could pick out what they looked like if I’d seen them, but they would whisper it and run away.
I have never heard voices or seen things except when I was on some bad meds for depression that really didn’t agree. Never before or after. This particular incident was long after I’d been off those meds, n hadn’t been hearing voices at all. Never heard anything at home, on the high street. Also, this was before cell phones were a thing, so I couldn’t just snap a picture of them in the hall n b like here - these ruddy bastards did it.
I nearly quit school because of it. It still triggers things to this day. This is also why I’m extreme sensitive to being misgendered. It goes far beyond JUST being proud to b who u r n whatnot. The backstory is emotionally painful. Luckily, I was able to get home schooling after a real fight for it with the district. I probably fought for that shite more than most did for an education. I then went on to get 2 degrees, n help others get theirs.
The point is -
People need to listen. Actually listen. Don’t make arrogant assumptions. Instead of snide remarks n accusations, ask questions, try to help find solutions, try to better understand the situation. That kid who is in pain n missing school, or that kid who is traumatised by school probably has a reason. They’ve been ignored n shot down so many times, they’re probably afraid to speak up. Don’t add to that. Be the difference. Believe me, it can affect them later. You can honestly b part of the problem or part of the solution. You may be able to help more than one person, n it doesn’t take much.
Sadly though, people treat older folks the way they do kids. Have the same approach - and understand that writing them off is offensive for a reason. Just like a kid wants to genuinely be heard, so do we older folks. We have life experience. You don’t want to be insulted, talked down to, patronised, n made of? Neither do we. How do u avoid this? Don’t do it. Learn to communicate better, appropriately. You want to be valued too? U won’t be by treating others like shite. And for the younger lot - one day, u will get older. You might b in a position where u r mistreated by younger folks. Just remember that.
When I say “school should be disability accessible”, I don’t just mean we need handicap rails and EAs. Kids should be able to miss a day without failing out of school. You shouldn’t be dismissed from clubs because your attendance record is “spotty” (true story). I once missed an entire week of school because of a terrible, unending migraine. I was expected to keep up with my studies despite the blinding pain that came with working on my computer. When I heard my teachers say that you couldn’t miss exams, I asked what I would have to do to be excused from them. Their response? “Either get a doctor’s note an hour before the exam or death of an immediate family member.”
I cannot express how rigid this expectation was. First of all, with my condition, I wouldn’t have enough warning about my sickness to go to the doctor and request a note. For many people, this is exceptionally difficult, especially with the current shortage of medical professionals. Next, it ignores the fact that my schedule may not line with theirs because of my medical needs. Once, I had to visit a hospital a province away (which I was on the waiting list of for over a year) on the same day as an exam. I begged my mother not to take me because I was so nervous that I would be marked as an automatic fail. I was lucky enough to make it work, but that’s only because of my spectacular support system consisting of family members and wonderful doctors.
Disabilities aren’t always about needing a bus that can accommodate wheelchairs. It’s already difficult enough for many of us to maintain school attendance without the harsh punishments involved for skipping a day. We need to be able to miss school without being punished. Only than can you claim that the school is “accessible”
#disability#chronic pain#chronic illness#crip punk#cripple punk#accessibility#social justice#angry cripple
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E4haJHYUJw
sorry can s.omeone please helpme please and quicker this time its worse sorry thankyou justneed it to stop fast please, i am quite afraid its fucking fireworks isnt even thesaem thing that happened to me,and itsnot real why does ithurt that s so pointless im sick of it im nevergoing to be able to be a person again if i have a panic ove r eveyrthing i nwant to go home soon now
pleasmake it turn off fast thank you love you help im scared
supposed to be strong this isso stupid hahaha. ow ow ow ow
cananyone haer me. pleas em ake it turn off cant do this one forso long its makingme panic every time oneofthem goes off haha it doesnt even soundthe same it was muchlouder when iitreally happened
what if the asteroid goes into a star a sun and idont die because im not allowed ever and i ahve to beo nfire forever!! that would be bad i don t want that . oh my god what the fuck am i talking about. maybe i shoudl just scream really loud and then jimmy will come and maybe he'll hit me hard enough to make itstop
no hah okay nope im not goingt o do that . thatss not a good plam at all! then iwould probably cry and he owudl hitme more!! cheers!!!!!!!! hahaha
are any of you there i want it to stop fast please. please can the time delay things not work this time idont want to wait that long .
nooo no it's fine i mean cmon the only reason that it took so long last time's because oft hhe dleays and then all the good videos came at once and it was good theyll . theyre not going to ignore me its okay that will not happen. oh god but i cant wait that long not again pleasecan you break the itme delya this time i dont want to i dont want to do this anymore
i migth start screming by accdint . i dont want to do that i t will make anya upset and jhimmy wuill be angyr and. i dont want him to be angry he might . be agnry. whyis eveyrone angyr with me all thetime i dont try to be frustrating i dont i reallydont . i dont want to be by myself anymore can you please. the rescueline disconnceted and no one can do anything to helpme please acn soemhone help me befroe i make it worse and scream haha oh mygod no i was wrong its the same its the same the sound is different but the way the colors burst across youreyelids when you shut themisthe same and tehn you cant shut them anymore and it hurts it hurts andeverything is white and then its red and youcant even scream youcant move and its just burnign and it takestoo long to pass out why did it take so long i felt evyrting it ev en when iw asnt awake i oculd feel it burnign
and i think i think he left me in there on purpose i think hewanted to make sure i coldnt get better i think he wanted to hurt me i htink he was angyr stilll about the firing an waht i sadi in the cockpit afterhis eval i think maybe thats why he hates me now i didnt i didnt know jimmy i wouldnthave said that if iknew why are you angry i wanted. to help why would you hurther jim she didnt do anytihng to you why would you why would you hurt her why would you hurt me wgy do you keep hurting me. idont ressist anymore so youdont have to push so hard dont have to reach sofar why do you . you want to hurt me yeah? you want to and itsnot because ofanything but you and me. jimmy anya soembdoy cann you make the fireworks go away for me please i will be better
please can aynoe hear me im sc ared im so scared i dont want to beon fire agian it hurt so much and wheni. woke up i couldnt stop screaming . i ocudnt stop im going tos cream aagain and hes going to hit me but nope he wont kill me he wont knock me out because i have to feel it i have to feel veyrthing all the time i cant even sleep!!! that woudl be too peaceful and i dont get to have it peaceful no no no!!!!!!! not allowed for curlly to hvave peaceful i have to be feleing all of it
i onyl had two days i only had two days iwanted to help but i was scared ishouldntmake excuses im sorry nevermind nevermind im sorry anyaimsory shoudnthave been you never you never anybody else i shoudlvedonesomething i shoudlve let us both die whenwe werekids ojgod no no i cantwant him todie hewas. my firned no no no he hurtssherbieng selfish why did i tell them why did i let her tell him why did i let him go in there why did i go in there
i wish it had killed me then it woudlnt stil hurt its been so so so so long forever humanbody isnt supposed to fele this way for so long icant do it anymore iwish they ddint all ahte me s omuch i dindt crash thesip i didnt do it i didnt i neverwouldve done it whyd theybleve you so easilyi am i thiat easy to, did anyoen ever likeme or did they all feel the same as you jimmy is that why. deado pixels everywehr theye all dead pixels and i ahve to bealive its not fair no no haha it is fair this is this is what happens when you dont do anythign now you dont get to!!!!!!cant fix anythuing no matere how muchyou want toooo
cant do anything ever and iut always hurts and shes aways crying andhe doesnt smile anymore and i dont seehim naymore hes drinnkinghismelf to death and none fo them aluagh they used to laugh i miss mmy parents i miss closing my eyes i miss when thinsgs were soft andpeople hugged me evenif it was just pretend and they didnt care i could believe it sometimes and it didnthurt
i wanna go home
i wnana go to sleep
im reallyscared that im going to scream soon not onpurpose
can anybody hear or amitalkingto nothing . can anyeone hear me? icanrt. see anything exceot, the
hah ha am i tlaking too much . i think i am . why would you give this to me. youknow it would hurt me . why does eveyrone liek to hurt me am i that awful or is it that fun . ah hahaha. it jus. it kepe s on going. ahahahaahaha. and anotheranotther anohter another another!!!! is htis because i c omplaiend about the fireare youmad at me because iwouldnt stop saying it overand over wouldnt shut up god it's so annoyign haha right thats it yeah? youask ove and over and nothing chagnes so you have to stop before you get hurt because therse a reaseono they dont listen and if you keep asking againanda again and again forever theyll make you pay.
im soryr ill. be quiet
youdont have to make it go away this time , i can. deal with itthis time until it ends if you dont do it agian. could we make that deal, is that all right can we
amibeing punished
i think i am
or maybe not . only persons get punished im not a perosn im a toy i think . thats it thats all it is anymore and hwen a toy breaks you break it moreandmoreandmore and thneyou throw itawya into the incinerator to burn forever yeah?
everyneos going to go away. whoeven cares right? got thier own lives. own worlds other worlds better worlds. better world where im gone!!! got real friends haha got reaaal families real sons. and the firworks keeo going and eveyrone goes away!!! boom boom boom thats anotehr oen gone. jsut me just me all by mysefl in th empty
oh no no no
no no nonoonnononononono im cryingnow i need to stop no ones in here and if he hears me he might
please imsorry if anyones still there please hlep i acnt stop hes going to hear me pleaseimscared
#mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#curlyposting#'hey so why did you do this' i dont even know. it happened. now its here.#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing
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bad day
feat. corporateboyfriend!gojo
gojo x gn!reader when gojo has a bad day at work </3
hurt/comfort, no warnings (i think)
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corporateboyfriend!gojo who comes home after a bad day. i mean, every day at the office is a bad day, but today was particularly shitty. hes exhausted and hungry, and all he wants is some peace, quiet, and rest. he comes home, his body feeling heavy, dragging himself through the door. he doesn’t even feel like going through his usual routine. he kicks his shoes off, not bothering to align them with the rest of the shoes like he usually does. he walks over to the counter and drops off his stuff. he can smell something cooking, but hed rather sleep right now more than anything. but, he feels it would be courteous to say hi to you before he goes to bed.
next thing satoru knows, hes sitting at the dining table nearly dozing off while you cook. you’re complaining to him and hes just sitting around because he doesnt want to cut you off. but also he's too tired to communicate that he needs some space right now and desperately needs to sleep. you notice his uncharacteristic silence and ask him what’s wrong. satoru, already being as frustrated as he was with his low energy and hunger, just gets really upset. hes had a very long day: his team isnt doing their jobs, his manager wont stop nagging, and his project is due in three days.
you watch as he unbuttons the top few buttons of his shirt and loosens his tie. he holds his head in one of his hands, deeply sighing. you furrow your brows because something isnt right. you turn down the stove and approach him with worry. you open your mouth to speak your concerns again before you suddenly hear him say, “god, could you be quiet? please?”
stumbling back in shock, you immediately shut your mouth and back away from him. it was clear he didnt want to be talked to, but his words felt like a stab through your body. you look at him again and see his eyes blown wide, regret immediately covering his face. you and satoru never really fought over frivolous things, so this was an absolute first, leaving the both of you in surprise and confusion.
you meekly utter an apology, and turn to walk away. forgetting his previous exhaust, satoru jumps up. “wait, please. i’m sorry i didn’t mean it” you sigh. “its ok, youre tired i get it.” you reply, you back still facing him. you feel as his arms wrap around your waist and his body envelopes yours. “i know that i had a really shitty work day today, but that doesnt mean i get to disrespect you like that. im sorry.” you smile and lean back into his embrace, knowing he was already forgiven. “its okay, really satoru. if you want to make it up to me, why dont you eat dinner with me tonight? arent you hungry?”
you feel his face nuzzle into your neck. “again, im sorry, i really do love you… whats for dinner?”
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HES MY FAVORITE!!!! and he's real guys... i swear...
#jjk drabbles#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#gojo angst#gojo hurt/comfort#jjk angst#jjk hurt/comfort#corporateboyfriend!gojo#.⊹˖ star's works
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Love the way you write Luka , So im requesting a fanfiction about him waking up because of having an asthma attack in the middle of the night and we comfort him until his asthma stops and he goes back to sleep ( I want to play with his hair so bad , I hc that he loves having someone play with his hair and it makes him feel relaxed and sleepy ) . Thank you
wahh ofc !!! I'd love to take your req!! ────୨ৎ──── Luka x gn! reader Tw: mentions of the feeling of suffocation, Thanatophobia (fear of death), anxiety / panic attack, medical trauma, alien owners/ownership Luka + reader are in a established relationship !
wahh ofc !!! I'd love to take your req!! ────୨ৎ──── Luka x gn! reader Tw: mentions of the feeling of suffocation, Thanatophobia (fear of death), anxiety / panic attack, medical trauma, alien owners/ownership Luka + reader are in a established relationship !
wahh ofc !!! I'd love to take your req!! ────୨ৎ──── Luka x gn! reader Tw: mentions of the feeling of suffocation, Thanatophobia (fear of death), anxiety / panic attack, medical trauma, alien owners/ownership Luka + reader are in a established relationship !
wahh ofc !!! I'd love to take your req!! ────୨ৎ──── Luka x gn! reader Tw: mentions of the feeling of suffocation, Thanatophobia (fear of death), anxiety / panic attack, medical trauma, alien owners/ownership Luka + reader are in a established relationship !
wahh ofc !!! I'd love to take your req!! ────୨ৎ──── Luka x gn! reader Tw: mentions of the feeling of suffocation, mentions of needles/pointy things, Thanatophobia (fear of death), anxiety / panic attack, medical trauma, alien owners/ownership Luka + reader are in a established relationship ! (very angsty but I promise it's comforting cuteness at the end <3) ────୨ৎ──── Fear. That was all Luka felt in that moment. His eyes flew open, chest feeling tight. He sat up, sheets pooling around his waist. Instinctively, he glanced to you, who slept beside him. (you'd always refused to sleep in any room where he wasn't present. despite the fact that it's gotten you into way too much trouble.) Luka glanced down at the makeshift bed, then around his private room, then down at his purple-tipped fingers. His chest felt tight. Every time he tried to inhale, his throat squeezed and his chest ached. His breathing sounded wheezy and felt like needles going down his throat. Instinctively, he reached up and cupped his throat. His pulse skyrocketed with concern. Asthma attack. The realization nearly knocked the air out of his already-weak lungs. Luka gasped for air, clawing at his throat and chest. He knew he needed his inhaler, but how could he get it? He was supposed to be perfect; perfect creatures didn't need medicine or inhalers to live. His alien owner had long confiscated that. He felt you shift in your sleep beside him. Luka didn't want to spend his last moments with you right beside him; what if he put you in danger? What if he was actually contagiously sick and you got it, too? yet you woke up, and your eyes widened in the dark at the sight of him struggling to breathe. "Luka?" You quickly sat up, speech slurred with exhaustion yet all your focus was set on him, and him alone. "What - what happened? What is it?" Yet Luka couldn't reply. He gasped for air, eyes wide. You could tell almost immediately what was going on. Frantically you whip your head around, searching for anything that could help him breathe. "I-I'll go get a guard," you eventually speak up, rising to your feet. "someone has to help. I-I promise, I'll be super quick, okay?" You nearly trip over the blankets trying to reach the door. You bang on the doors and walls until someone finally comes. A guard, who seemed unbothered by the stressful situation, eventually came and helped Luka. HIs breathing went back to normal. He seemed to calm down, his pulse - once through the roof - now a steady pulse. Luka rested his head on your shoulder, tracing mindless patterns along the back of your hand. ".. hi." he mumbled softly. Pressing a kiss to the top of his head, a soft smile pulling on his lips. "Hi, baby." Luka snuggled closer, stealing a kiss to your shoulder. "I'm sorry if I scared you." "No, that's okay. I'm just glad you're okay." Wrapping your arms around your boyfriend, you pull him snug into your arms, his head right against your beating heart. Luka closed his eyes, long lashes casting shadows along his cheeks. "I love you," he mumbled. "don't forget that, okay, y/n?" "I won't," you gently run your fingers through his hair; the ends curl around your fingertips. "I won't ever forget it, love. I love you, too." Luka snuggled up closer, tucking his legs between yours to get comfy. Your hearts strike in sync, chest pressed together. In your arms, Luka felt the safest. ────୨ৎ──── I love writing cute fluffy lovey dovey stuff ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ i hope you enjoyed anon!! have an awesome day/night !!
-venus
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one of my friends posted a shirtless pic of laois in the chat yesterday so last night i started reading dungeon meshi its not too long and i actually got through a whole volume already :0
and im enjoying it so far, i really REALLY like the cooking in it i didnt know it was gonna be that detail with the food aspect haha like the meals they come up with is enough to keep me reading tbh
#thats not the only reason i started reading of course lol#but it kinda triggered a whole discussion and my friends were praising it a lot and sending pics of the characters#so yea#i havent read any mangas in long time#i havent really watched any anime in a long while either#so its kinda nice dipping my toes back into this medium#i wasnt really expecting to get into dungeon meshi#like i saw ppl talking about it but i wasnt really that curious#but here i am now ig#im glad its around 100 chapters#its something i can actually finish#im so bad with anything that goes on too long#i always get distracted by something else or just forget about it
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thinkign about how alone and unloved morty was for all his life and rick was the first time anyobdy ever put such an amount of intense attention and dependency onto him . and rick had a whole new family and losing them made him stop seeing the value in other people as a whole and morty was the one and first thing that woke him up
#really long Tag rant down there#one of the most Things Ever about them to me is how morty barely even understands just how much rick loves him. more than anything#and its something ricks done on purpose hes made sure of it#because hes so weak he cant handle it#them being together is agony in avsolutely every way and sense but also theyre the best part of eachothers lives#morty because nobodys payed attention to him quite like rick has and all the exciting space adventures and rick just cause. he literally#just likes him thats it. and he never knew it#also i was thinking of this earlier. one of the reasons season 1 is soooo good to me is cuz you get to see morty grow on rick in real time#stuff like that moment where morty walks through the door and rick is instantly at the sight of him SUPER excited and he goes hey!!! but#then he clears his throat and goes Hey trying to pretend like this dumb scaredy kid isnt becoming his favourite thing hes ever known day af#er day#and goddamn night shaym aliens. in that moment where he realised morty had been fake the whole time i rlly wonder what he was thinking and#how he felt. like. oh man this is messing with me way too much this is Bad#and then he got drunk over it and yknow. that . is it post credits. i think. that scene#n literally At the Very beginning he was tired n drunk n stupid thinking like man fuck this im gonna blow this place up and do what prime#did to me. But he brought morty with him Even just at that point it flashed in his mind and he absolutely could not bear to let morty die#Breathes in#im rewatching in October bc anniversary month. i literally can’t wait im so actually impatient i considered just doing it today So hard#odiespeak
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#bro why is everyone growing up and away and trying to figure out their lives and careers and loves#and im just sitting here missing them?#like sure im trying to figure out mine too we're all that age so I don't resent them for it#but why don't they miss me? why don't they feel empty when they haven't talked to me in a long time?#like. didn't they feel very light and happy after talking to me like i did with them don't they have a bad day and think that oh ill#talk to me and it will all feel okay even if it isn't just for a minute?#oh ny god i feel so pathetic asking this but like why am i suddenly crying now???#like my bestf. she's so busy in her new internship in mumbai that she can't be bothered to text me back#a simple yes no question for days. like i understand you have cool new office and work and friends and your stupid fucking ex#that you couldn't stop crying about to me living in that city with you but what about me? what about us?? what about you saying#that you're my first bestfriend i haven't told this to anyone else this is forever everyone else judges me but you're the best#like i just feel like if you're going to leave me then don't fucking say shit like that to me??#okay oh my god this is so irrational but i literally can't stop crying and it's definitely pms like i checked#she's not even leaving she's just suddenly busy and adjusting it's only been like a month#but i hate this stupid fucking knife like fear that as soon as someone is a little busy or seems like they're pulling away a little my#brain is like okay they hate me they're going to leave me so pack your bags we're leaving first#like i know a better solution would be to just tell her that hey dude i fucking miss you and i saw this show and remember how you used to#love peter kavinsky because he was adorable and i want to sit and watch it with you and just why aren't we back in school#where we are basically forced to hang out for like 7 hours because im so sick of only seeing you like once in 2 months for a few hours#like i know it's not your fault and we're just growing up and in different directions but just please like five more minutes can you stay#i don't even have the confidence to say anything to her lol she's my only friend like if even she gets mad and leaves#but i know that's not how healthy relationships work. and ugh my sister is so fucking far away i can feel it everyday#in the 5 and a half hour time difference. i hate this i hate everyone everyone has to go so far away#i hate living in this empty fucking house and being responsible for my own emotions fuck this isse accha toh living with dad hi hai#atleast when im there there are only 2 emotions anxiety and boredom. now i have a whole house to myself to cry whenever I need#for however long i need in a locked room. really looking forward to adulting haha i can see just see myself succeeding so well🙄#man this is crazy im gonna go do jumping jacks or something so this comes and goes faster#umm#dni
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#my posts#you know how this usually goes#i make an amount of tags so that if you read this its bc you've clicked and its not bc i am just posting it like whatever lmao#... unsure if i should even post it tho but what else do i do just leave it in my brain? idk maybe its the same maybe its better#maybe its worse? .... why have i been feeling kind of like this and at this kind of intensity for like about 2 weeks or more#2 weeks is how long ive been properly aware so i think its more but like. man.#like maybe its been like a month and i just havent been keeping track of time bc january is way too long to even try lmao#. but. idk. i just wish i could be kinda.. stable. like i cant feel good lmao#like it truly doesn't matter nothing is good enough in general#what i do isnt good enough#what goes on around me doesnt help trying to ignore the constant.. dread?#and like all things considered i should be doing good currently#or at least not this bad#but here i am constantly trying to not let myself feel too bad until im alone bc man.#so... yeah it just doesnt feel like anything is truly worth it not me as a person nor the things i do nor the things i experience lmao#also lately ive been just feeling more..... disconnected to others... like i dont understand them and they dont understand me#but like.. more than usual#and i guess its me? that it's kind of a me problem#idk I'm just tired. i need to sleep. i want to let face down on some sort of big water body or do something that will make my life worse#or they i will regret lmao#i. wont do any of those#also when i mean face down in some sort of bldy of water or whatever i dont necessarily mean like die#not against it but its not the only option#just lay there and float..... also not against it#i just want something that i cant have i guess bc im not sure what it is#like i just know what i want is to not constantly feel like this but idk how lmao#... u would sleep if i can bc man also I'm so tired#.... adding tags its a bit worse than I assumed lmao im also thinking about wether i deserve stuff or not lmao#like it got windy and cooler and i was like 'a blanket by my legs would be nice' only to be like 'no you don't deserve that ' like ah yeah#its kinda worse than i thought lmao
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:/
#hate staying awake long enough for the Bad Thoughts to start#so annoying#and i was feeling so good earlier too#i stg its just the time of day#tho like. to be fair. i didnt really eat today#just couldnt bring myself to#i snacked a bit#idk sometimes i think when i feel ''good'' im actually just Distracted From The Bad#and then as soon as the distraction goes away the bad comes flooding back in#and nighttime is a time when there is very little distraction#/sigh#i do feel better tho#in some ways at least#i think the meds are helping#and my first therapy appt is this sat#hopefully that. helps#does something#does ANYTHING#need#to#sleeeeeeeep#this has been an original post#personal spewage
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#personal#so like ive been thinking about why i have this strange uncaring feeling about family during this vacation#i hate spending time with them i find them annoying and just not enjoyable to be around extended family is like having a customer talk to m#and bc of that i am the most insufferable person to be around. i dont have it in me to care about looking happy or being my best#i just exist i am here i am here with you and thats all it is to me. if i had a choice i would not be here.#they get mad with the way i am they dont like my indifference about everything we do but i am just LIKE that im honest about my feelings#it shows on my face and my voice. but i would never say anything bad outloud. so why does my body language matter anyways#i still think they should be happy im physically with them even if my heart is not so it should be enough...#i dont know when i stopped being happy around them#i think ive been this way for so long that i just have no room to really grow too much#and my friends and partners have a side of me that will never be shown to my family.#i feel two faced. but its not a bad thing#i wouldnt abandon them i respect what theyve done for me#but that doesnt erase the past.#... i understand it more. we have to live with our demons and the ghosts thay haunt us#but learning to not hold on to the hate and dread. not letting it kill you#thats. the hardest. part. because it comes back and it goes and its back and its gone#mmm#sometimes i do wish i could forget.#i would maybe be nicer.
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Simon gets a message from reader while he’s on base. It’s a video. The thumbnail looks like a blurred image of a store isle
Once he has a moment to himself, he’s able to sit back and finally check out what you had sent.
The camera pans down to show yours and simon’s two year old daughter. She has half a mini chocolate muffin clutched in her little baby fist and chocolate smudges on her nose and bright pink cheeks. She’s standing, staring at something out of frame.
The camera is a bit shaky and Simon can hear you trying desperately to hide your laughter.
“Baby,” you say, “baby, look at me.” You bend down to bring the camera closer to your daughter, who only turns to look at you for a second before going back to staring at the same spot out of frame.
“Who is that?”
Your daughter raised one of her chocolate covered hands to point towards whatever it was that had been captivating her the entire video. “Daddy.”
Simon here’s more of your pained stifled laughter and the camera follows your daughter’s gaze, revealing a cheaply made Halloween grim reaper statue, with dusty purple robes, a plastic scythe, and a hilariously misshapen skull face.
He reads the accompanying texts that had followed the video.
[She just started saying “daddy daddy” over and over and it took me forever to figure out what she was talking about]
[for a second I thought, “oh is he here?”]
[Im so dense lol]
[she really misses you ]
[I miss you too]
The next text was a picture of your daughter fast asleep in her car seat. Now cleaned of chocolate, she had replaced her muffin with a giant plastic rat that she hugged to her chest like a teddy bear.
[she refused to leave without it]
Simon smiles. It had been a long time since he had a family. People who loved waiting for him to come home.
Your texts had been sent hours ago, and he felt bad about not responding all day.
[that’s unfair. My mask is made of much better materials]
[I miss you both too. If everything goes right I should be home by Monday]
[and don’t call yourself dense]
Simon thinks for a moment, something eating at him about that video
[I wish she didn’t know about the mask. I don’t want her to see me that way]
You respond quickly, making Simon feel worse about his delayed reply
[Dont worry about that honey. She’s only two, and I think she only saw you wear in mask once once or twice. She’ll forget in a month.]
[She doesn’t see you as anything other than her daddy]
[her daddy and her jungle gym]
[lol yes that too]
[Im sorry I don’t have a lot of time. I’ll try and call you tomorrow]
[ok Im heading to bed now anyway]
[goodnight I love you ❤️]
[goodnight I love you too ❤️]
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weird how this year like basically every fiction thing ive been into has been mystery crime sort of stuff
#there was yuumorri riverrs of london ace atorneh and crime i punishment#which isnt very many things for a whole half a year#theres been a few other things ive watched and read as well i suppose#but ive been getting into new stuff way less than i used to#useless loser reading too much bloody fanfiction i didnt used to do that#i know its not tumblr cause i did used to do that#though also like since i started uni i suppose thats not really a reason but the second part of last calender year was similar#though now im just confused what was when its not that confusing is it#anyway im not sure im really more busy now im at uni#i mean i spend so much time doing nothing just on my phone or whatever#and a lot less hours objectively#not even sure ive got that much more going on probably less#like i do remember being at least a bit busy with a levels at school even though i didnt have a life then either#ive had the habbit of obsessing over things to cope with not having a life and not wanting to have to think about doing stuff i have to#ive been doing that for ages but as time goes on i do think ive become more dispassionate or something#not that thats really got anything to do with it#but i can at least say that a year living alone with like responsibilities or something like whatever not like i really did much#i seem just to be becoming lazier and lazier if i cant even be bothered to read or watch tv much what the fuck#like i genuinly dont think theres been that much pressure than school#like there was lots academically back then and also i didnt know what i was going to do after#i do think not talking to people has a bad overall effect in the long term in a lot of aspects but i dont know how exactly that relates#to whatever im talking about or how to explain it to prove it
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Tw vent etcetc mom doesn't let me go out bc of me being a fatass and my boyfriend told me to shut the fuck up while I was in tears bc of period cramps. I may need to fucking k myself or smth yea
#tw vent#tw sui ideation#hes not cis btw#he was mad i wasnt doing “anything about it”#like. I had no meds for the pain. bc my parents dont fucking let me have it and they monitorize all that shit so i do not fucking take shit#he knows that#still he was mad at me bc i should have an alternative instead of just whining#maybe hes right man fuck it#n yeah ive tried talking about this w him btw but he always answers w something like yeah yeah n inmediatelly goes back to telling me about#his next new kuromi figurines#he probably just doesn't see it like a bad thing so I may be exaggerating too idk#but well mom did fuck me up#hell#sorry long rant#im tired#nate rambles
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Reader sleeping on the couch after an argument w/Dorm leaders? How they would react w/happy endings?
this got super long so i decided to change up the post layout so longer stuff would look nicer. But im also posting from a new device so if this goes up and theres any formatting fumbles then uhm. you didnt see anything
𐙚 Riddle Rosehearts
Despite how hotheaded and stubborn he is, it’s actually really rare for you two to really argue. He values your opinions on everything, and he’d hate for you to feel like he doesn’t hear you or care about your feelings. The last thing he wants is to make you feel like doesn’t care.
That, however, is something he’s still learning. It’s not very easy to let go of the habits he developed growing up— Especially if he thinks what he’s doing is best for you. He doesn’t know how to convince people, so he ends up coming off forceful and inconsiderate. It might even happen without him noticing he messed up, if you’re not extra straightforward about it.
So he knew you weren’t happy with him, but really didn’t think it was that bad, seeing you asleep on the couch is the last thing he was expecting. Even more if it’s the first time it happens, it makes him freeze go into panic mode.
You’re woken up to a really shaken looking Riddle, asking you what you’re doing on the couch at this time in very genuine confusion. He might not even have considered it was because of the argument, too focused on trying to figure out what’s up with you. And it’s hard to stay upset at him when he so readily listens to whatever you have to say, apologizing profusely and making a promise to not do it again that he’ll always keep. His intention from the start was to do what’s best for you, after all— So if he turns out to be wrong, the first thing he wants to do is to correct it.
𐙚 Leona Kingscholar
Arguing with Leona is… definitely a situation. It might have you wondering if it even counts as an argument at all. Sometimes he just doesn’t seem to even react to what you have to say, sometimes he straight up states he can’t be bothered to argue. He’s not as stubborn towards people he really likes, but he’s still very proud.
He can actually tell that he messed up very quickly, pretty much in the middle of whatever interaction went wrong, but can’t bring himself to actually back down and admit it. He doesn’t even bother trying to convince himself that he’s right or anything, he’s just that allergic to saying the word “sorry”.
When he walks past you, his first thought is that he should just “let you sulk”. It’s probably not the first time it happens to him in a relationship— And the same routine plays out every time. He wants to walk away, but he can’t. He eventually does, then he comes back and stares for minutes. Regret starts to really sink in then.
You have a blanket draped over you the day after, and Leona just so happens to be around to ask, much more tentatively than usual, if you’re coming with him to get breakfast. It’s his version of an apology, kind of. He’ll actually say it out loud if the subject of the argument was more serious, but that’s rare. He’s not very good at this and the both of you are aware of that, but he still cares, and he’ll get there eventually. Maybe.
𐙚 Azul Ashengrotto
Surprisingly, or perhaps not, he might actually have the lowest argument rate out of all dorm leaders? He owes a lot of it to just being good with words, he pretty much always manages to bring up his disagreements in a really non-confrontational way, they’ll barely even register as disagreements at all. If he can’t find a way to seamlessly compromise, he often just keeps his thoughts to himself.
...Mostly because he gets too anxious at the possibility of you rejecting him. Even if it’s something small, it’ll stay inside his head and refuse to leave, getting dwelled on when life starts to get particularly stressful. If you two argue, the likelihood is that he actually started it, because some other minor issue came up and the pile he was mentally stacking ended up falling apart.
Things can get really messy in the moment. Everything sounds offensive to him when he’s freaking out, while at the same time he’s painfully aware that he’s being overly emotional and causing problems that didn’t exist before. He stops his rant suddenly when self control manages to return to him, but at that point things were already said, and you’re walking separate ways after he awkwardly suggests you two just take a moment to cool off.
He might not even see you on the couch, being too ashamed to leave his office, but Jade will let him know either way. Azul won’t disrupt your sleep, and he’ll even try to give you enough time in the morning to get through your usual routine, but as soon as it’s possible he’s looking for you to privately apologize. He takes care to clear up any misunderstandings before voicing any of his worries, even though it’s visible how nervous he is. It comforts him just to see you looking at him with fondness again, seriously relieved that he won’t be losing you over the situation.
𐙚 Kalim Al-Asim
Kalim is another one who doesn’t really argue, but that’s not to say he doesn’t voice his disagreements, because he does, and he does it very often. It happens as soon as the thought pops up in his mind, spoken all lightheartedly. Regardless of what the subject being talked about is.
…Which can very easily become a problem. He does take all your boundaries very seriously, but you need to be very straightforward about them. So if it happens that you two get into a topic he doesn’t know is touchy for you, he might say something that comes off insensitive. And yes, he will ask you as soon as he sees the change in your expression, but the lack of tact doesn’t mix well with you already being upset, and you end up just walking away.
Only then he stops talking, freezing up completely. He can tell, that you probably want some space now, and he’ll honor that— but the whole thing doesn’t leave his mind for hours. He has no clue of when he should go look for you to try to talk and apologize, no clue of how he should even word it all when he doesn’t know what he did wrong. His heart shatters when he sees you sleeping on the couch.
He probably asked Jamil for advice, then heard that he should really give you your space, but he just can’t take it. You get shaken awake and he’s tearing up while he apologizes, saying he really didn’t mean to make you upset, that he’ll do his best to be more careful if you tell him just what went wrong, but also that you don’t need to talk right now if you don’t want— He’s a little clumsy, and very emotional, but you know he means well, and that he loves you very much, which he’ll be sure remind you of over and over again.
𐙚 Vil Schoenheit
It’s no secret that he can really nag people, but Vil really doesn’t like to actually argue— He’ll say it every time a disagreement or misunderstanding starts to get tense. Partially a self-reminder, he’s aware that he doesn’t have nearly as much patience as he would like to. It can take a decent amount of effort to keep himself in check.
You two do successfully compromise very often, but sometimes even his suggestions can come off very harsh. It’s no secret to anyone who knows him. His peacemaking attempts are still pretty blunt, and his opinions are never held back. It can easily get upsetting, going as far as feeling like he’s judging you even though he’s not.
Vil actually takes a moment to tell that he might have said the wrong thing. He’s not so proud he’ll refuse to admit his own mistakes, but he’s just… used to upsetting people. You can outright leave mid conversation and it still won’t be his gut reaction, he always believes whatever he’s saying and only wants the best for you. It can take a good few moments until he realizes you’re not just “sulking” the way his underclassmen at the dorm do when he scolds them. Finding you asleep on the couch can honestly shock him.
He won’t wake you up right away— It’s still important for you to get your rest, and he wants to really think about what happened before he says anything— but there’s no way he’ll let you spend the night there. His voice is really soft when he calls your name, waiting for you to gather yourself before he tells you he’s sorry. Gently reassuring you in whatever you need while he explains himself, he’ll make sure everything is okay before he touches you at all, wrapping you up into a hug when everything is finally settled.
𐙚 Idia Shroud
He’s freaking out, full stop. He didn’t even think he’d ever get far enough with someone to be in this position. Since when does he even have the audacity to argue with a partner he never even believed he’d get? Whatever he did, he wholeheartedly believes he screwed up big time.
...And even though it’s his anxiety talking first, he might actually be right. He’s usually really passive, doesn’t even voice disagreements beyond maybe just whining about not wanting to go somewhere with a lot of people. And even then, he might be willing to try, just for you — So what went wrong? Probably a messy misunderstanding, where he said a lot of things he doesn’t mean…
He’s honestly just expecting it to be over. Believing that you’re going to block all his socials and never speak to him again. The second you walk away, the only thing in his mind is the absolute worst, so when he sees you on the couch he’s… relieved? But just for a second. It means there’s still hope for him! You would have just disappared if you wanted nothing to do with him, right? But he also recognizes the trope, he knows he’s going to need to work to be forgiven—
Idia is just standing there when you wake up. Pacing around the living room and losing his mind. He gets startled when he sees you’re awake, like he’s terrified of what will come next. At least he’s had (more than) enough time to think about what happened… the apology you get is very much sincere, even if it gets rambly at certain parts, ending with the two of you comforting each other.
𐙚 Malleus Draconia
For obvious reasons, things can get tricky with Malleus. Whenever you feel like you’re really starting to understand him, something strange will happen again, it’s a real cycle. All the factors in his upbringing connect with each other to build a very specific kind of character. Even if it looks like you two are really similar, there’s going to be a minimum of a handful of details that just change everything.
He’s always careful with his words, with basically no exception, but sometimes he just doesn’t know what the “right” thing to say would be, or he doesn’t know what a certain cue could mean in the moment, or whatever he knows is something that doesn’t apply outside of specific context of the royal family he’s a part of— The possibilities are endless, but a lot of the time, it’s more likely that things will just chalk up to the fact you don’t understand each other’s perspectives.
He might notice something is off right away, he might think nothing wrong happened at all, it can be wildly different depending on the topic at hand. He’ll ask what’s wrong if he does notice, but even if you do try to explain to him why you’re hurt, it may not make sense inside his head right away. And even though he’s genuine and fast to apologize, it can feel cold when he clearly can’t tell what’s actually wrong.
When he walks by the couch you’re asleep on, it doesn’t even register as being related to the argument right away. He shakes you awake to tell you it’s not a good idea to sleep there because it gets really cold later in the night. Right now, he’s had enough time to process and understand the situation, quickly giving you a new, truly heartfelt apology. Even if in the whole thing, in retrospect, was a pretty minor issue — And if it isn’t, or you’re just not ready to forgive him yet for whatever reason, he doesn’t push it. The only thing he’ll insist on is having you sleep somewhere more comfortable, really.
if you like my work you can support me by commissioning me or tipping me on ko-fi ── ᵎᵎ ✦
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar#azul ashengrotto#kalim al asim#vil schoenheit#idia shroud#malleus draconia#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#kalim all asim x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#twst imagines#twst headcanons#lis writing
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mitski we're really in it now .
#im sure a friend has unfollowed me and i know we all agree that followint doesnt equal friendship but#ive been on the internet since i was six years old if im not followed by a friend im convinced they dont ever want to talk to me again#idk . idk ! i will never be able to be healthier about being online bc it's all i have so i cant take a break from it yknow#like if i didnt go on socials or youtube or anything id just be sitting in my bed Staring .#bc i cant read or listen to music without a billion things going on at once bc then ill Think n that's always bad#bc whenever i Think for too long i end up having to be hospitalized#so im just trapped in a cycle . n . idk man . i dont know .#i hate that i rely on ethan for my socializing. i shouldnt only ever talk to them but that's how it is#i try to talk to others but something always goes wrong or im too intense or im unable to make a complete connection bc im so scared of#being Wrong#idk. idk im just rambling. no ones gna read this so it doesn't matter
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That's it, after years of getting to know the league, they are finally revealing themselves (some of them at least), their true identity. they are all very mature and happy to know the faces and names of their friends. but them, there is Batman.
Many heroes are waiting with a sparkle in their eyes. It turns out that when they found out they were going to do this, some heroes decided it would be fun to make some bets on guesses about what they would be like. flash, green arrow, the lanters, captain marvel, aquaman, hawkgirl, cyborg, you know.
Diana didn't play, as she already knows most of their names and it wouldn't be fair, the same goes for J'onn, Superman, Batman etc
Batman takes a deep breath (not that anyone notices) and takes off his cowl.
they. went. deadly. silent.
he expected gaps, perhaps screams. "YOU'RE THAT BILLIONAIRE" type of thing. but no. he watches their faces turn to horror, minus Captain Marvel, who sports a shit-eating grin so big and bright it could compete with the sun.
Cap giggles, like a little devil. slowly, he looks that the companion is at his side. flash, or barry, is pale. Green Arrow's, aka oliver queen, jaw is on the floor. Aquaman also known as Arthur is looking like a dead fish, as if he had been out of the water for too long. and like that it goes.
Diana and Superman are suppressing their smiles. Maybe they know what it's about? I mean, Bruce knows it's about the stakes. but he didn't know all the details because he didn't want to get involved.
flash is the first to speak
Flash: i cant... oh my god. im broke.
he was so deadly serious it made bruce frown. just a little bit.
The captain's smile gets bigger and bigger and, like a good teammate, he explains:
Marvel: Everyone was betting that you were some kind of ex-war criminal, a super broke guy, a homeless guy who, when he's not beating up criminals, is sleeping in a trash can. you know the vibe. but not me, I knew you were a rich guy, with a lot of trauma.
Batman frowns even more.
Bruce: how?
Marvel: Remember when, 1 and a half years ago, we were hit by that villain that makes people laugh? Yes, I knew there. you have a rich guy laugh. there was no way anyone could manipulate it. I could hear the money in your tears... and the trauma...
Bruce: you knew I was rich and… traumatized… because of the way I laughed…? hmn. Very good, Marvel. I didn't expect such a deduction from you.
Marvel: nah, its not even such a big thing. what is big is my price! I don't even know how to pronounce how many I just won. When I said you were a playboy, they raised the stakes so much that I'll probably have to deny some things…
Flash: oh my god... the deed from where I live…
Aquaman: the deed from where you LIVE? my dude, I just lost my kingdom!
Little Billy will take the money, maybe, because he's not stupid or anything. but he's not going to leave his colleagues in such a bad situation, he's going to let them visit his houses from time to time!
#billy batson#shazam#dc#justice league#batman#i dont really know how to tag this#English is not my native language
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