colossrat

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whats your take on kleptomaniac billy batson/captain marvel 🧐

Freddy has called Billy a klepto on more than one occasion. He’d never known what it meant and brushed it off until he finally gave in and asked.

Freddy: “It means you steal a lot.”

Billy: “Wha- I don’t steal a lot.”

Freddy: “Yeah, yeah you do.”

Billy: “No I don’t.”

Freddy: “Billy, somehow, during this interaction, you successfully whisked away one of my crutches and are now holding it.”

Billy: “Oh.” *stares at it for a solid second before handing it back* “My bad.”

Freddy: “I bet.”

It’s because of this conversation that Billy noticed how much stealing he actually did. He then came to the realization that he didn’t just do this as Billy. Honestly, he’s just surprised none of the JL hadn’t said anything about it yet.

Marvel and Hawkgirl: *talking*

Hawkgirl: *places her mace down nearby*

Marvel: *gets a notification on his comm* “Ah… Sorry Ms. Hawkgirl ma’am, Supes needs me for something.”

Hawkgirl: “Alright then. See you.” *waves*

Marvel: “See you!” *waves back and leaves the room, not before nabbing her mace*

Hawkgirl: “Alright… Maybe I should go ask Diana if she wants to hang out.” *looks around for her lace so she can grab it and leave only to see the mace obviously isn’t there* “Where’d by mace go??” *looks around the room more*

Marvel: *walks back in with an extremely awkward smile and hands her mace back* “Sorry.”

Hawkgirl: *stares a little dumbfounded and watches him go*

He’d actually done something similar to this only with Aquaman’s trident. Though, instead of staring at him as he left, the man simply laughed it off.

or

Marvel and GL: *talking and laughing*

Marvel: *doesn’t even notice he steals Lantern’s ring and continues chatting*

GL: *does notice, puts his hand out for the ring and also continues chatting*

Marvel: *puts the ring in his hand, again, without even realizing*

He’s done this so many times, to so many different Green Lanterns. Not even just the ones from Earth. It’s also not even just the Green Lanterns too, he does it to the entire color spectrum.

or

Supes and Marvel: *chatting and stopping to go their separate ways*

Marvel: *gives Supes a pat on the shoulder and somehow steals the cape without the Kryptonian noticing*

Supes: *walks off*

Marvel: *realizes what he did and is just left standing there thinking he fucked up*

Jon: *rounds a corner, looking for his dad and spots Marvel* “Is that my dad’s cape?”

Marvel: “Hmm? Uh…” *looks at the cape in his hands before looking back to Jon* “Yeah.”

Jon: “Why do you have it?”

Marvel: “I uh… stole it.”

Jon: “Oh.”

*silence*

Jon: “Can I have it so I can give it back?”

Marvel: “Sure?” *hands it back to him*

All the kid heroes were gossiping after this because they wanted to know the true reason Marvel had it. After all, Marvel wasn’t the type to steal, right? And if he was, why would he just admit it?

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Okay so we all know the Cap doesn't swear at all, even if it's the tiniest swear word not even 9yr olds bother censoring

So...what would happen if he met Nightwing, aka. Richard *Dick* Grayson

Imagine the cap knowing his identity, maybe even considering themselves friends, and still absolutely refusing to call Dick by his nickname

Cap: so, Richard, how did the mission go?

Dick: cap, you know you can just call me Dick, we're pals!

Cap: *sweating profusely* I like Richard though.. ��

Dick: but it just feels so formal, not even B calls me that! -even Alfred uses the endearment nickname!!-

Cap: you know I don't mean it in a formal way!

Dick: then just call me what everyone calls me!

Cap: Richard.. 🥲🥲🥲

In the end he just ends up Calling him Rick. Nightwing tried everything to change the R for a D but the cap can be incredibly stubborn

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Respect

Captain Marvel is a marvelous hero. He was one of the first. He was a a brilliant man who helped all over the country, not just his hometown of Fawcett. And although this went for about every other hero that churned out of Fawcett as well, This man helped with construction, the wars, the people. He was revered. He was respected. He was powerful. But most importantly, he was kind. That was what won over a majority of the American peoples soon after his debut. That was what made him the hero of that time. That’s why when he and the other Fawcett heroes suddenly disappeared, the people were distraught. There was memorial after memorial for them all. Most were for the Captain though.

So yes, it’s been established already that he’s had a big impact on America, but one could argue it’s way deeper than that. He was, and still is the blueprint for how a hero should act or look like. When the hero Superman first made his debut, people, especially older people liked the similarities they shared. When Flash debuted he was also well liked among older people for his similar costume to the Captain. When Americans found out Wonder Woman was related to the Greek Gods, she was liked too because the Cheese got his powers from the Gods.

Old Man: “You’re the daughter of Zues?”

Old Lady: “Wasn’t Captain Marvel the son of Zeus?”

Old Man: “No, no, he just got his powers from him. At least I think so. It was in the newspaper some many years ago.”

Wondy: “Who’s this… Captain Marvel?”

Old Lady: “One of the best men to come from this country.”

Old Man: “That doesn’t explain anything, Gertie. He was a wonderful hero from when we were children. He disappeared in about ‘62 last I recall.”

Wondy: “A hero that drew power from Zeus… How could he have disappeared?”

Old Lady: “No one knows.” *shrugs* “One day, he and the other Fawcett heroes up and disappeared along with the city itself.”

His impact wasn’t just on heroing of course. This extended to multiple other things. Middle schoolers have a history unit dedicated to the Fawcett heroes. He was honest to God, the beauty standard for men during a resurgence in the 90s. There are posters and photos in a multitude of places from the Whitehouse to a random Ihop in Los Angeles. There are schools named after him and other Fawcett heroes.

Couple: *looking around the lobby of an ihop and spots a photo on a bulletin board* “Is that Captain Marvel…?”

Hostess: “Yes! He came here in 1959. He apparently got some breakfast with some of his hero buddies and took the photo with the owner. Your table will be this way.”

Couple: “Gosh, I used to think he was so cool as a kid.” *follow after the hostess*

When the time bubble finally popped, the entire country was blindsided by the fact that their hero was back in the flesh. He looked exactly the same, acted exactly the same, and still had that exact warm smile.

Marvel: “It’s wonderful to meet you, Mr. Superman Sir.” *puts hand out for a handshake*

Supes: *inner fangirlling because oh my Rao, this guy is practically his idol and he just called Clark both Mister and Sir* “It’s wonderful to meet you too.” *shakes his hand*

The hero worship wasn’t exclusive to just heroes who were kids. No, no, kids, teens, adults, elderly, most heroes think he’s absolutely amazing. Even Batman! They look up to this guy just as much as the regular elderly civilian who was alive before Marvel had been caught in Suspendium.

The most interesting part about all of this in some people’s opinions are that it was like the Cheese had never even left. He still unknowingly evokes respect whenever he walks into a room. He could still make kids smile with a glance. His power had certainly never waned either during the time he was gone. He was still just a marvelous hero.

.

.

.

Meanwhile during all of this, Billy is internally confused at everything in the modern world and is just trying to handle it the way he normally would. It seems to be working.

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Marvel making familiars for his loved ones

So I was thinking about Tawky Tawny (again). The thing about him is that he got so many different backstories or explanations on what he might be, but a common enough theme that we see is that he is a stuffed toy when he wants to be.

So here me out.

Tawky Tawny is Billy’s familiar and helps him adjust to his magic when he wants to use it in his small form. He was originally a toy given to Billy by his parents and later given life by The Wizard.

It came with more benefits. Tawny would eat his nightmares, be able to teleport to Billy’s location so that he could never get stolen or lost, protect Billy by going into his tiger form and all around be a constant warmth on his life.

So imagine Billy doing the same as The Wizard.

A lot of his friends aren’t magic users and don’t have the same magical protection he does, so maybe he gives them some enchanted clothing or pendants. A semi familiar (because without magic you can’t make a magical familiar pact with a living animal) where he just makes them familiars.

He would create stuffed animals, and weave in some magic to make them sentient. Maybe it would start with younger heroes, but when he realises his coworkers in the JL need the help as well, he absolutely would make some for them. They, like Tawny prefer to stay in stuffed toy mode, but will sometimes would want to stretch their paws and go into animal form once they feel like they are in a suitable environment.

Just picture it.

It all started with Raven, and the constant stress she might feel with having to constantly guard over Trigon. She can’t have a familiar because most creatures would suffer if give a link to her because her magic is not compatible like that. Captain Marvel decided to make her a companion. He makes her a little leopard wearing an elegant pink suit with a little top hat.

Raven: Is that a plush?

Cap: I heard you have trouble sleeping, so I got you a friend. I haven’t given them a name or pronouns, so that’s up to you.

Raven: … why

Cap: Trust me, they are for nightmares! Tawny *holds up his tiger plush* tells me they are fun to hunt and makes quite the sweet treat.

Raven: *holding the handmade gift* thank you 🥺

Cue shenanigans where she thinks he’s just trying to be a great den mother, and is a tad naive thinking stuffed animals actually work. Not that she isn’t holding little Ebony Darkness every night and is getting the best sleep she has in years.

Another thing to add is that insomnia and PTSD is a common sight within the caped community. And of course Billy notices that. So, after seeing more and more positive results of his plushies, he makes more and more. It becomes a trend. Younger heroes receive a small teddy of an animal and proceed to get attached to it almost immediately.

Nightwing almost cried when he got an elephant wearing a bow tie . Cap said that he seemed like the type to like them. Now Dick has given Zitka a little sibling to sleep at night with. But then that plush becomes fond of Zitka and gave the og elephant plush sentience.

Starfire absolutely adores her shrimp plush. Said something about being able to see colours together. Wally doesn’t know what to think about getting a turtle, but quickly gets attached, even putting little designs in the shell.

Jason also likes to put in patterns in his sting-ray, which Roy doesn’t get cause he thinks his jelly fish is perfect just the way she is. Lian gets a smaller jellyfish, which makes her happy because all the Outlaws get a sea animal.

All the members of YJ, even the retired ones, get a reindeer. They suspect he knows.

It gets back to the JL that Caps giving stuffed toys to their protoges.

Flash: Hey, Cap, how come we don’t get any stuffed animals?

Captain, exited his work is wanted: You want one!!!

Flash, can’t say no to that face: … yes I do

He gets all exited and makes plushies for all of his coworkers, that he pours a bit of extra magic in his work.

CM, fidgeting infringe if the door:

Batman: what is it Captain

CM: I made you something but then I realised that you wouldn’t really want it but then it could be cool if you did and I didn’t want to overthink-

Batman, stopping Billy’s rant: go ahead

CM, hands him a plush snake wearing spectacles: I thought you would like them. I haven’t named them so that’s up to you

Batman, not knowing where to go from here: … is the name important

CM, offended: It’s the MOST important

Batman sighs and keeps the snake. Naturally he does a billion different tests but finds it’s a snake plush. One that’s handmade. That must have taken a lot of time and effort. Batman keeps George Snaking. No he will not admit that having the snake wrapped around his shoulders is soothing.

And it just spirals from there. Hal gets a Sparrow in a poncho, Plastic man gets a kangaroo wearing the nicest boots, Wonder Woman gets a duck in a fancy dress, Aquaman gets a penguin in swim shorts, J’onn gets a lion in a toga … Guy gets a clown fish.

It has no rhyme or reason. The only common thread is that it’s an animal with some sort of clothing. Cap just says that of course they have clothing, they are distinguished and perfectly civilised individuals.

It all come to a head when the League faces some threat, and they are weakened, only for their plushies to fucking teleport and turn into massive version of their respective animals and saves the day.

Hawkwoman, starring at her bear: I- Mrs Snuggles?

Mrs Snuggles: *shrugs*

Shayera: … I could have been getting bear hugs this whole time

Guy: *looks down* Flippers?

Flippers: *flops on the floor*

Guy: ….

Guy: how come the others get bigger version of their animals

The League of Superpets aren’t that worried about competition. They tried to recruit the plush’s, but turns out they are just lazy. Like, they will beat a butch if necessary, but won’t actively go looking for crime to solve. They act more of a home défense.

The only ones who knew about the sentient plushies where Ma and Pa Kent (their Octopus is extent helpful around the farm), Alfred Pennyworth (he’s the one who actually requested hamsters to help keep the manor clean and keep an eye on his family) and Damian who’s instinct immediacy told him his fennec fox is alive.

Oracle got a capybara. The Capybara is the most powerful one Billy has made, second to Tawny. I don’t make the rules.

Constantine is the only one who never got one. Billy is still salty about him trying to steal his powers. Plus he would prolly sell it.

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He helps the local baseball team when he finds the time.

Photo by Martha Kent

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Clark absolutely plays it up when he meets little kids dressed like Batman in Metropolis, referring to them as his old friend and making them ecstatic. He also has a habit of helping any little Robins he finds do flips.

Batman runs into little Supermans in Gotham and sends Clark photos of them from his lenses captioned with things like, "On the job for six years and already better than you" or answering questions about Supes like "Yes I am his boss."

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Anyone interested in the superficial lives of Gotham's socialites knows what a chicken Bruce Wayne is. This is a persona that Bruce puts a lot of effort into as no one would think that a playboy like him would be Batman, he's too busy kissing and making bad jokes with hot people.

That said, he is careful not to repeat the people he spends a night with. He makes mental notes to only be seen in public with this person again after a semester maybe

But one day, he finds himself forced to attend a party alone. The women he planned to flirt with and appear in front of the paparazzi just did not show up and he finds himself needing to pull someone to his side. He watches every corner of the room intently, looking for people he hasn't hung out with in the last six months, only for his eyes to be reluctantly locked on an oddly familiar, yet unfamiliar man.

This would be Clark Kent aka Superman, disguised as a high society figure looking for information from Lex Luthor and perhaps some gossip for the daily planet. Changing his posture, clothes, a fake earring and wig he SURPRISINGLY passes off very well as a shy playboy who has a lot of money but little attitude.

Outcome? After Bruce stares at Clark for 20 minutes mentally cursing himself while trying to remember WHERE he could know that guy, his mind suddenly wanders to memories of another strong man with a jaw as sharp as his, and he subtly finds himself thinking, "He kind of looks like Superman...?" and then once again “I never got with him? Strange” because IN FACT he has already effectively flirted with all the gay bi pan or any men from Gotham's high society who would subtly remind him of his co-worker.

Clark, breaking into a cold sweat (not really) thinking that Bruce Wayne was suspicious of him because of his farm boy attitude, begins to sweat even colder (not really) when the prince of Gotham approaches with a charismatic smile  and an extra drink, sticking to himself for the rest of the night with stupidly bad but very effective flirting. He finds himself laughing awkwardly as Bruce eats him with his eyes from head to toe.

But no matter how much Wayne flirted with that guy, making him blush, laughing like an idiot with those hands without knowing where to stop, he couldn't get ONE PHOTO. Clark was just very good at turning his face away at the right time, or covering up, hiding like a little mouse. Bruce thought it was strangely cute, but MY GOD, what's the harm in letting yourself be part of a little gossip? He needed an alibi that he was at that party before going around like Batman beating up some bad guys, but Kent wasn't cooperating at all. None of his photos would be in any gossip magazine if they weren't newsworthy like “Bruce Wayne caught swapping spit with mysterious playboy from Gotham”

Normally it wouldn't be that difficult for him, normally it wouldn't be difficult at all. This made him strangely motivated and curious about his new friend. However, he was never really able to find out more, as Clark left the party in the blink of an eye when he heard some crimes nearby.

In the end, Bruce had to cause a scene by pretending to be drunk to get the flashes in his direction. Nothing that showing your underwear while taking a shower in a decorative fountain won't solve.

This happened and months passed, to this day Bruce feels stupid for not having gotten that man's contact, also wondering how he disappeared from the face of Gotham since he never saw him again. But he wasn't a villain or informant since nothing happened in any way related to that party after that. So he wasn't a bad guy? Who was he???

Sometimes he thinks about it before going to sleep, losing the will and going to spend three hours in the Batcave researching the socialites who have already set foot in Gotham and trying to find this handsome man that he couldn't figure out.

im sleepy so maybe this is messy

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;) + :D

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Connie is so cute and Reiner likes smol cutie

Instagram

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Superman thinking him and Batman are courting, while Batman thinks they are bitter rivals.

Superman drops off some pretty flowers for Batman one day ‘To Batman xox Superman’ (he’s so brave - very proud of himself). Bruce immediately googles all the flowers in it to try and work out the meaning.

“Gazania’s represent wealth and Richness.. It has moon flowers in it. Moon… it’s currently a waning moon… *GASP* he knows I’m Bruce Wayne.”

“Sir maybe he just liked the look of the flowers-“

“BEGONIA’S MEAN BEWARE ALFRED! He knows my identity and he is BLACKMAILING me!”

“What about the note, sir. He signed it x o x ”

“It’s one of those ‘emoticons’ Alfred! Two x’s for dead eyes and the o is the surprised mouth. My god he’s going to kill me and he thinks I’ll never see it coming.”

Superman is leaving every encounter kicking his feet and writing Clark Batman Kent in his diary, while Batman is updating his will and preparing to wage a war against a god.

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Clark: *carring groceries in both hands*

Bruce: *reaches to help*

Clark: *switches all the groceries to one hand to hold Bruce's hand*

Bruce: That's not what I- Okay

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Hc on the first time Bruce clearly says I love you

(quick note : Bruce tends to show his love through actions that scream "I love you with all my soul" rather than saying it outright. But hey, let’s have some fun with this)

To Dick - He's 12. Him, Bruce and Alfred just came home from a day out. They spent the day at an amusement park for his bday. Dick has never been happier, so just before he runs back to his room, he turns abruptly to Bruce, almost tripping him and with the brightest smile, he says it. "That was sooo cool ! Thank you, I love you !". Bruce is taken aback but the smile is too blinding which pushes him to not overthink : "I love you too, Dick."

To Jason - After a long period of distancing himself, Jason is finally back with the Batfamily. The tension is still there, but Jason is more open to being around Bruce. One morning, Bruce is in the kitchen having breakfast when Jason walks in. For the first time in a long time, Jason opens the fridge and grabs something to eat. Bruce watches him, feeling moved by the casual domesticity. “Jason ?” He says softly. “Mmh?” “Thank you for being around. I love you." Bruce doesn't immediately realize that he said it, and when he does, Bruce practically runs away.

To Cass - She’s gotten into calligraphy and creates a “Love you” sign, which she slides under Bruce's bedroom door. The next morning, Bruce comes into the kitchen holding up the sign, looking preoccupied. Or is he choked up ? Anyway, “Who made this ?” he asks. Cass raises her hand with a shy smile. Without hesitation, Bruce strides over and pulls her into a hug. “I love you too, kiddo.”

To Clark - On the field, Clark has gone rogue due to red kryptonite. After a grueling battle, the League manages to subdue him and Batman uses kryptonite to neutralize him. This time, however, they're not sure Superman's going to snap out of it. Exhausted both physically and emotionally, Bruce drives the kryptonite into his chest and whispers, "I’m sorry, Clark. I... I love you. Please come back." (bonus points if it buys into the cliché and what makes Clark come back)

To Damian - He's having a particularly rough time, feeling inadequate, but also misunderstood because ultimately he's still a kid and doesn't know yet how to express himself. That night, he lashes out and pushes everyone away, isolating himself. Bruce's heart breaks when he realizes what's really happening and tells him through the locked door : “I want you to know something important: I love you, and I’m really proud of you, no matter what.” Damian swings the door open and clings onto his father with all his might that night.

To Alfred - Bruce is young and has been Batman for just a couple years. Earlier that night, he sees a father and son playing in the park. It's simple, but, through his whole night out, his mind is relentlessly thinking of them. When he arrives home, Alfred is waiting for him, ready to provide comfort. As always. Bruce is taking off his mask, and when he looks at Alfred, he sees a father. "Alfred. I don’t say it enough-- I don't say it at all but... I love you."

To Tim - Bruce is stuck on a case, and lacking on so many others. The past month has been extremely tough. The cases are piling on but he's burning out, he has his nose to the grindstone. Tim gets home after being away for a couple weeks. Immediately, he gets on the cases too and, because he has a clearer and fresher perspective, he points out a few crucial points. Bruce, dark-circled and unkempt, looks up abruptly : "Y--yes, that's right... How did I not-- Damnit finally ! I goddamn love you, Tim."

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Bruce wayne and Clark kent having a relationship kinda silly. Just small dates after interviews with lovely talks about anything, like weather or the people of gothan/metropolis. They can spend hours just yapping

And on the other side we have superman going feral when batman flirts with Clark

Superman: I-- HES DATING!!!

Batman: I still have a chance

Superman: No you-- WHAT?!

Batman: He already broke up with lois once. That new playboy is just a fase

Superman: He really likes that playboy!!

And batman fully knows that clark and supe are the same person. He likes to play with him and receive confirmation that he is a good man

Another day, Batman appears to save the night and finds Clark as Clark protecting some civilians, and he go very flirty mode, but Clark DONT fuck with that

Clark: Thank you for saving us, Batman. I am very happy that i can go back to my BOYFRIEND who is the PRETTIEST and SMARTEST of the WHOLE Gothan... Batman: You are welcome... Want me to take you home first?

And bat tries to pull a seductive smirk, only to make clark go red angry wanting to go back for his bf to talk shit about the bat even though they are friends

I would love to read a fic like that, idk if already exists

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found this alternate cover art on google and it’s making me feel things… the height difference, the way wade casually pulls the shade down… they’re getting FREAKYYY fs

credits to todd nauck 🙏 legend

[colossrat]

I wanted to start posting some hcs/fics in english, but reading in english is very different from writing and I'm afraid of using the translator and it will make the writing ugly help😭😭