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Xie Lian meeting his soon to be new puppy 🤲🏻

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one of the funniest things you can do is vagueblog about a book you hated and what you specifically found objectionable and inevitably someone will be like “op you should read [the very book you’re complaining about], it handles this soooo well” no lad it does not

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Just started devil venerable and Yin Hanjiang is uh. He's something

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Get mentored asshole!

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"All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed." - Richard Adams, Watership Down

A fictional cover for Matoba's Book of Enemies, the spin-off that lives in my head forever

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just going to use @qserasera's tag-prompt as image description:

#anyways. would love for matoba to find natori staring out disconsolately into the snow   #maybe not really crying; pretending like it's melting snowflakes   #and then. matoba holds up his umbrella over him (x)

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far from prudish but just got blazed porn of someone's pussy spread out so hard and up close like it's a map of the polish-lithuanian commonwealth and I'm king and grand duke sigismund II augustus inspecting his lands to plot defense against the swedes

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friend!!!! if you are so kind to be taking prompts, either matoba and natori engaging in funny power couple mean girls behavior at an exorcist gathering, OR something to do with matoba and natori and the prompt of 'protection' in some way. or if you want a silly prompt, both of them flirting (badly) and nanase-san is just there like 'really? right in front of my salad??'

hello!! i've never watched mean girls (sorry!!), but re: protection --

so idk how fandom took this volume 29 scene where nyanko-sensei asks about the charm on the back of natori's neck, and natori says it's just for insurance (whiiiich does sound ominous rather than implying protection, whoops, and the kanji means to cut or to end...)

but anyway my reaction was "wait… so who helped to write that………" and my answer is: matoba

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what if you homoerotically pulled a sword out of your coworker’s torso. what then.

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It’s been A Day so I think we’re due some levity. Here’s a roleswap AU.

Matoba:

-still in danger of losing his eye

- looks like he works at a sleazy host club

- nanase is his long suffering manager

Natori:

- stalked by a gecko-shaped shadow (maybe the one on him acts as a beacon)

- tired (tm）

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second of a two-part fill for a delightful prompt (thanks @reittu!) that i'll continue to quote as the image description:

"Then one day (many sleepless nights later) he musters courage to ask Natori about it (why does Matoba-san have a life-sized cardboard cutout of you?? How about we stop talking for a little while) and now it's Natori's turn to go What The Fuck and sleep even less than he usually does (he thinks Matoba's been cursing him. Bless his heart.)"

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teenage exorcists: culture festival edition (continued from the brilliant original response to the post by @epiphenomenal - particularly the tags about a light disappointment natori’s class didn’t do a maid/butler cafe!)

can you believe this man will grow up to be paid for acting?! UR face shuuichi!

[id: teenage matoba seated at a cafe table at school festival, asking what’s on the menu. teenage natori in a butler outfit points to the exit sign]

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my favorite horrible exorcists 😘💓🫶

inspired by this post, thank you very much @defeateddetectives :3c

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@epiphenomenal i had to

can you even believe one of them grows up to be an actor of all things!! ur face shuuchi.

Teenage exorcists edition: matoba oh so casually showing up at culture festival at natori’s school!

[image description: confused-looking natori, in a japanese ghost costume, opens a classroom door; outside, matoba smiles, a crepe in hand]

(the crepe is not for natori)

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first of a two-part fill for a delightful prompt (thanks anon!!) that i'm just going to quote as the image description:

"what about Matoba's indecently-sized collection of Natori merch? For example what if Natsume wandered into his room while trying to get out of that Matoba mansion only to see it being basically a Natori temple and goes What The Fuck……."

[to be continued]

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now we don't have time to unpack all that