#i do feel better tho
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i have conquered the evil wet box
i hate the evil wet box
i feel like i need a treat now
#i do feel better tho#i keep needing to tell myself that the new shower gel i have doesnt make my skin feel like dry old crusty newspapers#and altho i feel like i need to dunk myself in a vat of moisturiser cream still#its no where as comparibly bad as previous showergels#sanex 0% pink one btw#i have baby ass sensitive skin and also the autism sensory issues#eczema#some soaps left me with a thin coating of soap residue#never mind how much i scrubbed post shower gel#hated that too#actually autistic#i used to legit feel horrendous 3-7 days on average post shower#itchy and dry no matter what cream i used#now thats down to maybe an hour (depending how bad the eczema is)#i hate it when the “how often do you shower” polls and posts come around bc im well aware i should be showering more but like#i hate it so much for so many different reasons
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Because I haven’t been as active this month due to burnout/work stress I’m going to spend these next few days focused on Black History Month before returning to ACOTAR posting in March
#I do feel better tho#For people who’ve been wondering I had my first patient die and I’ve struggled with it#He was hospice so I knew it was coming but it didn’t hurt any less#That on top of the usual workload just sent me careening into a state of burnout#Exhaustion and grief for several weeks but Im getting better now :)#Bookish rambles#Nursing things
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:/
#hate staying awake long enough for the Bad Thoughts to start#so annoying#and i was feeling so good earlier too#i stg its just the time of day#tho like. to be fair. i didnt really eat today#just couldnt bring myself to#i snacked a bit#idk sometimes i think when i feel ''good'' im actually just Distracted From The Bad#and then as soon as the distraction goes away the bad comes flooding back in#and nighttime is a time when there is very little distraction#/sigh#i do feel better tho#in some ways at least#i think the meds are helping#and my first therapy appt is this sat#hopefully that. helps#does something#does ANYTHING#need#to#sleeeeeeeep#this has been an original post#personal spewage
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I am not sure how to describe the relationship between me and my best friend, but this is close: I've had a bad day in my head and she decided that to make me feel better she'd send me a picture of her topless in burger & fries pasties while eating a burger & fries.
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since i can’t shut up about chimps till i talk abt them online ..(tw r@pe mention tw abuse tw horrid animal do horrid thing tw feces)
idk the tw kinda explains but BRO CHIMPS AHHH FFS - they will harass female chimps and beat them with sticks, they’ll gang rape them, they’ll eat their babies and other males, they fucking throw YHEIRR SHIT AND MAKE OTHER CHIMPS EAT IT———— b r uhhhh nah nah fuck that bro whatthefuck mmmm they crazy frr (@/my abusers ur all chimps /hj u fkn weird asses)
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i did not write to make myself feel better
#i do feel better tho#bub n ollie made me giggle a ton#and now i’m trying to find cute stationery stores to visit tomorrow#bc i want cute pens!#might go to muji bc i want more notebooks#sayu speaks
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(+part 2)
#a tale told in three frames…#to everyone who said that other flavours are better should know that i had monster energy like once in my life#and i only did so cause it was the cool thing to do in the alt sphere#but thats all history#im neurodivergent tho so i ended feeling super sleepy afterwards#original art#fanart#digital art#digital illustration#laios dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi laios#dunmeshi#senshi dungeon meshi#senshi dunmeshi#senshi delicious in dungeon#marcille donato#marcille dungeon meshi#marcille dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon marcille#chilchuck#why does chilchuck only have 1 tag??? 😭😭😭😭#procreate#fan comic#+part2?? isnt that the name of the starving artist game??/j
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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bunch of portraits
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#megumi fushiguro#gojo satoru#nanami kento#choso kamo#nobara kugisaki#yuta okkotsu#fanart#crying im so tired....#busts aren't hard on their own but 8 of them ???#i should have stuck at 6 if i knew what was good fr me#but lucky fr choso n yuuta enjoyers i dont know whats good fr me and tacked on the extra 2 last minute#i did a bust piece waaay back in 2020 early jjk days and it was this crowd minus choso/yuuta so i wanted to like. do a kind of redraw#im happy choso n yuuta made the cut tho they r fun they look as tired as i feel#i've been having a lot of fun w the more semirealistic skin render so i wanted to stretch those muscles a bit more#took the better part of 3 days but u know i'm pretty happy w these i dont think i have a hard least favourite#fun game guess my favourite characters based on how i draw them it is Glaringly obvious 2 me#ik i said i dont have a least favourite but i certainly have A Favourite#uhhhh misc notes i tried rly hard to make sukuna's face look like yuuji's and only rly change the expression#i think i was successful??? i hope?????? like i didnt want to make him look like his own person as bad as that sounds#he is Wearing Yuuji that is Yuuji's Face#also i rly . wish there were more women . but as much as i like maki as a character i fr some reason don't find drawing her very fun ?#so nobara out here pulling her weight fr the girls my goat my queen <333
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after joking around with @revenyance we had the idea of the gnarpians in regretevator being able to converse by illuminating their whiskers in different patterns for when they’re out of earshot or in he prescence of ‘lesser’ species and I couldn’t help myself from making it with some basic examples
#I want to tag yeuc-c in this but. im nervous#im not insane enough to do every possible construct and combination feel free to do that yourself if you want tho#regretevator#roblox regretevator#regretevator gnarpy#gnarpy regretevator#the joke in question was abt sebastian being like ‘awww the space cat likes when I flick the lamp on and off’#whereas to gnarpy it’s like ‘I don’t know why thiz guy wantz to zet Poland on fire but yk what I’ve got nothing better to do thiz afternoon
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and i got eyes on the back of my head, i got eyes everywhere so i know where you go
#yrdnzz art#blue lock#blue lock fanart#isagi yoichi#isagi#bllk#artists on tumblr#hey#been a minute.... sorry fazgang#I FEEL LIKE IM ALWAYS APOLOGIZING IN THE TAGS my fault#ill do better mb yall i just graduated this month and ive been just chilling doing fuck all bc ive been artblocked AYE EFF#big thank u to jamie for talking me thru this piece even tho its sooo simple#just having someone to talk to about how i feel abt my art was very helpful bc i was definitely stuck on how to start drawing again#what graduating with a bs in comp sci does to a mf i guess#anyways hope yall like this one LOVE U ALL MWAH
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Im sad so I drew cute itafushi to cheer myself up ;)
#itadori yuji#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#my art#like…so many bad things happen to me lately and i feel really helpless cuz i cant do anything about it#its like everything in my life got fuked up all at once#i cried a lot and i feel useless but yeah at least i can still draw something cute#i hope its cute tho#and i hope this art can make someone’s day better as well
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i have been gifted with a big gas station burrito and caffeine and i no longer wish to die
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What do you mean I’m a bit late for Janus’ big day? Of course not, how could you say such a thing! I definitely didn’t forget all about it in my absence and only get reminded in the incorrect quotes video live chat; that’s not like me at all ;]
Anyways I decided to dress our sassy snake in some different outfits I think he’d like. He seems like the type to get all dolled up on his birthday and it goes with Thomas posting pics in outfits inspired by the sides on their appreciation days!
@thatsthat24
#sanders sides#janus sanders#ts janus#thomas sanders#sanders sides fanart#my hoard#I’ve returned!#the newest asides came out and I remembered how much I love it#so I’m hyperfixated again and I’ve not now peace since#it is nice to actually finish something again tho#I’ve been pretty busy working lately and now I’m starting to pack to move into my first apartment!#so not much time to really sit down and draw#and when I do have time I can’t get the motivation to actually draw anything#I want to get better about posting stuff on here#(even though it feels like I’m just dreaming into the void a lot)#even just silly little things or rough sketches I’ll never finish#I hope it’ll help me continue to draw and make things again#I forgot how nice it is#anyways if you’ve read this far thanks#have a cookie :] 🍪
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ryomina demons are winning
#does anyone here like them idk. theyre funny#putting off finishing p3re to draw these so i don't have to be sad just yet#cat’s art#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#makoto yuki#minato arisato#p3#persona 3#p3re#p3 reload#sorry for traditional sketch stuff... idk i just feel like i do better on paper even tho its literally the same style#like i can just get the lines better on paper. i think my brush is probably too thick digitally if i'm having this problem lol#makoto makes me so emo u guys have no idea. i didn't quite get this guy in the beginning but now...#full force understanding of a character. hes. he :( (incoherent sobbing)#tag ramble again SORRY I UEBRO4Y39NRMFMT#oh yeah the period thing going around is so funny. PERSONA 3 PERIOD SIMULATOR
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worm and salmon woodburning :))) 🪱
eerrrm .. finally woodburning this piece... that i had sitting in my closet for 2 years... also uhhhmmm *dies* i almost died when i didnt take my meds for the last 3 days never fucking do that it was HORRIBLE but im glad to be back on them things feel better
#eerrmm well tbh i do feel like my depression has been getting worse :(#i honestly didnt take them on purpose so i could spiral and hopefully go through with some plans#but i ended up just feeling really really physically sick this morning#so i gave up#i have not told anyone this but i will be telling my doctor and therapist bc i really do feel worse#doing all my coping skills tho! and handling ppl interactions alot better#artists on tumblr#art#my art#oc#oc art#artist on tumblr#salmon#salmon art#salmons#sockeye#fish#fish art#mixed media#traditional art#traditional drawing#furry#furry artist#furry art#monster oc#original character#artist#my oc#animal#animal art
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