#i think the meds are helping
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semiotomatics · 1 year ago
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:/
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stuckinapril · 11 months ago
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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blue-jos10 · 4 months ago
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‘wow dr minyard how are you so calm and patient even with the insane ones?’
‘i’ve had practice.’
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yuwuta · 7 months ago
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OMEGA SATORU????????????? RAAAAAAAHHHHWOLF ON HIS KNEES RIPPING OFF CLOTHES im normal about it please elaborate please
chuckles evilly…. satoru’s the kind of omega that knows that other people want him, knows that he could date or sleep with pretty much anybody he wants, but there’s only one person he wants and it’s you, and he’s stubborn and insufferable about it. you seem to be the only alpha in his life that’s immune to him and it drives him crazy—it doesn’t matter how much he flirts, how good he smells, how many times he pouts and blinks and calls you alpha, you just smile and ruffle his hair and it kills him. he doesn’t get it. even nanami has had to take a step away from him when he’s close his heat, but you’re not phased by him at all. 
it’s bordering on pathetic bc you’re not even mates, not even dating, not even close to being anything really—you’re friends and have been for a while, but that doesn’t stop satoru from throwing himself onto you, from pouting, and from proudly declaring that you’re His alpha. he brags and brags and brags to anyone who will listen about how he’s in the best pack in the world, how you’re the best alpha of them all, how he’s the luckiest omega ever, but every time he’s hit with the reality that he’s not yours, he gets unreasonably upset. sometimes, he even tries to take it out on you, gets himself sick or drunk or lets his pheromones run wild while he clings to you and slurs about how you’re supposed to be a good alpha, and take care of him. gets himself all worked up, pacing the floor and pouting and ranting incoherently about how he’s always been yours and it’s not fair that you’re not his and he’s being irrational and he’s definitely not sober, but still, all you have to do is call his name and barely nip at his wrist and it’s like his entire body resets. he freezes and goes slack and he’s scolding himself internally because he’s so weak to you and he can’t do anything to make you succumb to him. 
it’s not like he’d change that tho. it bothers him that he has no sway over you, but, truthfully, he loves the control that you have over him. he likes you can tame him, he likes belonging to you like that. he just wants to have you like that, too. and so yes he’s desperate, yes he’s pathetic, yes he’ll do anything for your attention, but he doesn’t care, satoru wants you and he will do whatever it takes to have you 
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kayvsworld · 4 months ago
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the people who stayed in avengers tower fandom are so smart. they all live together and its fine
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sp0o0kylights · 5 months ago
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Todays WIP that will go nowhere-- Eddie realizing Steve is a good person not through the Party, or anything that happens in S4, but by witnessing his weird ass interactions with Jonathan Byers.
The guy publicly decked him, "stole" (Eddie does not believe one can "steal" a person outside of kidnapping but that's how the rumor mill is phrasing it) Steve's girlfriend, and if Carol Perkins is to be believed, took creep-shot photos of him having sex and yet:
Eddie has now repeatedly witnessed the two of them not just making nice with each other, but outright beelining for each other.
Taking in harsh whispers, going places together, cars following each other, and half the time there's a bunch of kids with them instead of Nancy.
Jonathan is notorious for being a loner even by Eddie's standards and yet he reacts to Steve the same way one reacts to a trustworthy member of the family--with relief.
They're not even that nice with each other--Eddie's heard them trade insults.
(The whole school and likely half of Hawkins has heard them trade insults.)
Eddie's been involved in the wrong crowd long enough to recognize when two people have a sort of unshakable trust with each other, that "I hate you but I have your back" partner in crime vibe that his father always exploited, but with Steve and Jonathan it's real.
And that is what constantly makes Eddie look different at Steve.
Not the kids, though he gives Dustin all the shit he can over his giant case of "Harrington Worship", but because he keeps thinking Steve is going to be shitty, has always assumed Steve was being shitty, and now that Steve has actually caught Eddie's eye its impossible to miss that he isn't/
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youngpettyqueen · 4 months ago
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I know the decision to have Julian's parents have him augmented was made on the fly but imo its pretty obvious from early on that Julian has Family Issues because he avoids talking about his family like the plague and I think they should've incorporated this into the Julian and Sisko dynamic right from early on because I think it would've made for some really compelling stories and moments and could've set up a REALLY interesting Julian and Jake dynamic which they kinda started to do but never fully went for
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#benjamin sisko#jake sisko#s1 Julian being so young and eager to prove himself and latching onto Sisko as this mentor figure to look up to#seeing Sisko with Jake and low-key seeking that fatherly figure connection which he won't even let himself think about#Sisko seeing this young brilliant doctor who's got all the makings to be something great and he's just GOTTA help him along#I think he would also catch on pretty quick that Julian's got Parental Issues#he tries to ask one day all casual like 'tell me about yourself :)' and Julian talks about nothing but Starfleet and med school#any attempts to ask about his family are met with awkward brief answers and redirections#and then theres the way Julian's eyes light up the first time Sisko invites him to watch a baseball game#like he Knows. he's a dad he Knows somethings up#but he doesnt pry#I also think it makes their dynamic more tragic towards the end of the series#where we have Sisko asking Julian to compromise his morals again and again#Julian's trust and respect for him gradually deteriorating#and then at the end of course Sisko is gone and they have no idea when he'll be back#which I think Julian would have a lot of complicated feelings about#but of course theres also Jake#I imagine they'd get closer#very brotherly dynamic#you know that scene in TNG where Wesley goes to Riker for girl advice and Riker and Guinan start flirting?#absolutely happens but with Jake asking Julian for girl advice and Julian wooing a girl at Quark's and Jake absolutely loses the plot#makes the events of ...Nor the Battle to the Strong more intense as well I think#also I like to think there'd be an episode where the B plot is Jake gets mad at Sisko and impulsively decides to move out#ends up at Julian's because he did not think this through#Julian is now very much caught in the middle of this family drama and he Fucking Hates It#also him and Jake are NOT compatible roommates but he's trying so so hard to be nice#eventually they have a talk and Julian cryptically hints at his own home life and tells Jake he's lucky he has a dad who cares so much#them being closer would work into what Alone Together sets up for them
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dapg-otmebytheballs · 5 months ago
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I get that this is something that happens v rarely etc and phil didn't want anyone to get scared off of colonoscopies and such because of this incident, but what's actually refusing to leave my head and scaring me is how often doctors will (and have done with me too) simply not go over certain possibilities of a procedure in full because it's rare/they don't want to scare you or whatever and so you end up not knowing to look out for anything going wrong with meds and treatments and procedures like this, like yea for sure create a positive outlook around scary sounding medical stuff but also I never like how doctors can and do just decide to simply not mention some possibilities yk? Because 'this happens rarely' still means it will happen to someone or the other and if they aren't prepared/aren't watching out for shit going wrong/not able to connect the dots it can get really bad, informed consent should be properly informed consent. Just had to get that off my chest lol
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desired-misery · 21 days ago
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*Leon, popping back around the corner after being gone for 10 minutes to rejoin Chris and Alpha Team*
Leon: Did you know there was a big BOW down that hallway?
Chris: Oh, shit, you need back up?
Leon: Was. I said 'was'.
Leon: But back up would have been nice about 7 minutes ago.
*Leon lifts his very obviously, disgustingly broken arm to show Chris*
Chris: holy shit Leon--
Leon: Don't worry, as long as we get out of here before the painkiller wears off I'm good
Chris: ... there wasn't exactly a right answer to ease my concerns, but that is actually a wrong answer
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pup-pee · 3 months ago
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he is the dirt under my fingernails
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fcaruana · 26 days ago
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as someone from argentina, can you please share how things are in your country with franco now in f1? and like how fast things have changed and the hype he got, the difference between f2 and f1 etc? i'm so curious to know, i assume he'll head back home after the brazil gp since there's a bit of a break and argentina is right there. i'm picturing pure chaos
oh it's INSANE the amount of support he gained in two months. he already was pretty well-known in argentina after fans pushed a campaign to get him sponsors for f2 last year. he wasn't going to be able to jump from f3 to f2 until argentinian fans came through and started making noise. when franco came there was a hundred people outside his hotel. bizarrap's dad saw the campaign and the rest is history
but while thousands of argentinians followed his f2 races, the vast majority of them already were motorsport fans. now, in f1, EVERYONE is supporting him, even people who hadn't watched a single f1 race before. right before the f1 announcement franco had 552k followers on instagram. now he has 3.2 million !!!!!
i've overheard people talking about him at the supermarket and the doctor's waiting room ??!&# which is crazy. i haven't seen something like this for an argentinian athlete in a long while. he said he hates the messi comparisons but i can see this worship getting near that level in the future if all goes well
they're planning a banderazo for interlagos so watch out for hundreds of argentinians flags. it's gonna be insane
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m1nts · 1 month ago
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Modern Capvers bags and inventory (I’ll polish it when i have the time)
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tazmiilly · 1 year ago
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i think he looks nice in pink.....
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moonkhao · 3 months ago
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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chaosgremlim · 1 year ago
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I’ll be completely honestly. I will judge you based on how you view Lottie Mathews. If you watch Yellowjackets and go calling her “psycho” “crazy” and judge her abhorent and manipulative for literally just having symptoms of her psychosis while UNMEDICATED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING WILDERNESS, I won’t trust you for shit.
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youngchronicpain · 3 months ago
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"it's okay to take your pain meds as prescribed when you need them" I sing to myself while taking 3/4 of a dose because even after all these years I'm terrified of being fully dependent on a medication that I know I need
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