#im crying at this point.
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the shift i just had….. literally an episode of fucking looney tunes😭
#it’s finals week and i work at the testing accommodation center so it’s sooo crowded and then im delivering tests going all over campus and#getting the paperwork mixed up THEN im hungry bc i missed breakfast this morning (also pissed me off) so I DoorDash food right.#well. he gets here as im delivering tests so i have to walk back tests in hand to get my food#then the guy can’t find me at all and passes where i said to go#THEN i text him except here’s the kicker guys he is Turkish and doesn’t speak english.#im crying at this point.#so then im standing outside sweaty as hell bc it’s also extremely humid out trying to explain to this guy how to get to my complex#im hot. stressed bc i should be at work. hungry. AND now im back and my shift ends in like 5 minutes#so the rest of those tests are nawt my problem bye#WHAT THE FUCKICURHDKSJDJ#*personal
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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Exercises for all the homies who want to have a long career drawing.
The true problem with being an artist and drawing all day (as I wanted my whole life) is that human backs are not designed to hold that position, so it is very common for artists and designers to have really stiff shoulder blades, creating a chain of muscle strain towards the arm AND the back... and a lot of pain.
These are some physical exercises for artists and honestly anyone who works at a desk.
(all credit to my physiotherapist)
#artist on tumblr#you would think exercise helps but tbh im pass that point. im half a jock and yet here i am#epicondilitis got me crying more than once#all the i want to draw more new year resolutions are worrying me
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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )
#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEM🙏😩💘#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision later🤷 LMFAO#so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFER🤺🤺🤺#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celeste🥹🥹#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hphl#choccyart#also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING#THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAW😭😭#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD#i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste#esp since she looks so much like clora😭😭#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!😃👍#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: ���Sebastian hesitated; if this was Clora’s last gift to him he wasn’t sure he wanted it.”#😭😭😭ITS SO GOOD UGHHHHH😭 TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESE💖IM SO TOUCHEDDD💖💖
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itafushi nation how r we Feeling!!!!!!!!!!!
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP FOUGHT MY DYING PEN PRESSURE FR THIS#TH MEGUMI DROUGHT. OVER. CROPS WATERED with yuuji's tears#im a wreck im a gd WRECK#megumi nation itfs nation whatever happens from now on know tht tonight was a Victory#god there r more redraws i want 2 do . i need to like. calm down tho#im so emotional im shaking and my pen is on its last legs i dont think more is good for it#or for my hand#i feel her protesting GHGSD i did paint a lot of leaves today#YA SPEAKING OF . WENT FROM LA DI DA RELAXING SUMMER LIGHT ITFS IN2 THE MOST DEVASTATING/pos CH OF MY LIFE#what a day what a time to be alive#times like this make me so grateful i can draw what wld i do except scream otherwise#i have no words and i must Draw#anyway i dont have anything valuable or coherent to add just know that i am the human embodiment of a whole bunch of exclamation points#my brain is like bzzzzt my heart is like wowwww
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not to be a pervert or anything but thinking about yuuta whining out, “i-i don’t want to cum anymore!” when you overstimulate him to the point where he is squirming away from you with tears streaming down his flushed face
#mello.thirsts#yuuta thirsts <3#tw dubcon#just in case <-#just wanna make him cry to the point where he is basically desperately trying to scramble away from your cruel touch#ok sadist side popping out 😔 im ovulating#i feel bad for yuuta tho man all my sadist thoughts just turn to him#it’s the big ole puppy dog eyes that make me want to see him cry#sorry
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atla modern au where suki & zuko are life guards for the summer and sokka just keeps drowning
#i have the feeling sm already though of this bfr but i just had this idea & i LOVEIT#atla#zuko#sokka#suki#zukki#sukka#zukka#zuki#sm PLS write that im begging and crying#i just love the idea of these 3 being so fucking stupid#sokka faking the hell out of it and zuko is almost tired of his bullshit#keyword almost#sukis just having fun with all this#at some point theyll start taking turns to save him
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"I wanted to forget him, and yet it seemed I thought of him always." Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire s2 - May 12th on AMC/AMC+
#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtvedit#iwtv spoilers#loustat#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#jacob anderson#sam reid#armand iwtv#assad zaman#iwtv s2#interview with the vampire amc#*iwtv#mine#my gifs#im so excited for season 2 !!#no one does pain and sorrow as well as Jacob <3 I will be crying
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Four trying to fight for his life making excuses as to why he never split like:
Four: LISTEN THERE WERE ALREADY 9 OF US. you wanted an extra 3?? YOU WANT 12 LINKS IN THE GROUP? Time has enough grey hairs as it is!
Time, hearing four explain they could've been 12 links:
(art is @/linkeduniverse hdgdjdhd)
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shes playing ::)
#outer wilds#solanum#god the t#the piano#losing it everytime completely when the solid piano finally starts playing at the campfire#and all those barely touched keys playing in the background of ruins just pucnh you in the guts#finally.#finally their song is heard as it meant to knew we them alive#uhh maybe the wording is cheesy sorry im sleepy the point is#CRYING HARD#outer wilds spoilers
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Me before completing the forest temple: okay I get that ocarina of time is fun and nostalgic for people but it’s a bit of a stretch to call it one of the greatest video games of all time
Me after completing the forest temple: By revealing that Link is not a Kokiri, but a Hylian, the game effectively strips him of his humble origins amongst a group of people that already fail to recognize him in his adult form. Thus, kokiri village instantly becomes a location that is no longer Link’s home in any sense, exacerbated by the fact that the game now loads up in the temple of time instead of Link’s bedroom— he is a stranger in the only place that has ever been familiar to him and he is depressingly reduced to his destiny alone. However, the subsequent introduction of the time travel mechanic, which allows the player to travel from the horrific apocalyptic future back to the idyllic past of Link’s childhood, gives new meaning to the idea of this “destiny”. In effect, Link is not a stock “chosen one”, but a protagonist who consciously decides to fight onwards. Link’s dual existence as a child who knows the grim future and as an adult who was powerless to stop disaster gives a sort of desperation to his character, because while it brings the player relief to revisit the Castle Town that is populated by cheerful villagers instead of lurking zombies, the story can only be progressed through the acknowledgement of reality — the decision to make those seven years pass again. Therefore, both the player and Link as a character must be proactive in their heroism and make the conscious choice to struggle onwards despite the darkness that permeates—
#veesaysthings#ocarina of time#fantasy story: yeah the protagonist can never go home again. Me: OH MY GOD THEY CAN NEVER GO HOME AGAIN#Im dearly sorry for all the Zelda posts#I’m getting my shit rocked by ocarina for real#(no spoilers I literally JUST got to this point in the game)#thank you so much to my friend who is forcing me to play this#I will cry at all the temples though bc I am so awful at puzzles pls I am so dumb
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i drew this like a month ago and i am TERRIFIED to post anything on here but ive been convinced
#joshua graham#edward sallow#sallowgraham#im so fucking scared to post man i think i might actually cry#fallout new vegas#fallout#fnv#caesar fnv#fucking wild this thing has become my magnum opus.#im miserable#everyday i rethink the actions ive taken that have lead me to the point i am in life now#i feel like this is to blame for most of the bad things that have happened to me in the past few months#my legacy is nikocado sallowgraham#and i dont think i can ever recover from that.#my life is ruined. i am an artist forever haunted by his past.#anyway i still let out a giggle everytime i see someone reblog this again#i take it back i NO LONGER giggle whenever i see someone reblog this.#i hate it. this thing is a MONSTER.
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actually sometimes being neurodivergent is great bc you have a particular kind of Silly Mode that just . manifests glory. harmless fun is my precious side quest & i have a high score in whimsy. like okay if i gotta be the first dork in the dance pit it's gonna be me and this random toddler and we're gonna avril-style rock ouuuuttt
#i also like starting applause i'm really good at it and have a high score in it#i make entire groups cheer a lot. my friends are used to it . i am bolstered by so many of them being theatre kids#im like. let's celebrate! :) a guy did a thing well!!! :)#once we helped someone parallel park and it was SUCH a hard road to do it on#this is in boston. so death be upon drivers. also it was during st. anthony's feast. in the north end. iykyk#and we helped her get in there (one of my friends tbh stood in traffic for her)#and we cheered when she finally parked. she got out and she was crying and laughing and was like#''that was the hardest thing ive ever done ur so sweet''' and meanwhile we were PARTYING#just stone cold sober but like YEAH GIRL YOU DID THE HARD THING FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!#i've been bullied for so much lol i am immune to most insults at this point bc im like#girl when i was 12 i'd already heard every insult and good lord were they specific. just plain ''crazy'' aint it
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looking up “chaos sonic” in 2023
#sonic prime spoilers#sonic prime#chaos sonic#chaos#chaos 0#lmao these tags im gonna cry#chaos the guy and chao the things was already confusing enough#chazart#spider man pointing meme#hall of fame
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not to demon post but like. sometimes i think about the "friends" label and the fact that it's a little bit of a haha in-joke but also... i mean. when dan said he didnt have a best friend for the first 18 years of his life he meant it yknow. like i do think that out of all the possible labels he's used, soulmates husbands arch enemies furniture who the fuck knows, best friends is amongst the most meaningful... if you never had a best friend and then met him and he stayed in that spot for fifteen years the fact that he's also the love of your life can maybe be just a bit of a bonus.
#dnp#dan and phil#phan#my point with this is that like. growing up not having a best friend is so devastating and isolating#not dating is whatever. not everyone dates. but it's expected that you have friends! it's expected that in 18 years you connect enough -#- with someone to call them Your Best Friend!#so idk. i think for dan to go 18 years without that. and then to click with phil so perfectly. sometimes i do think the best friend label -#- is actually the most meaningful out of the bunch. For Him.#i just think he's very very happy that the love of his life is his best friend and that his best friend is the love of his life.#anyways im gonna make myself cry. whatever LOSERS. whatever SOULMATES. WHO CARES. not me!!!!
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I have come to spread the good word. Have you heard the news?
A character study on Sunday's Philosphies using a poorly-made powerpoint. As all characters who hit it big in the mentally ill awards deserve. And because I ended up relating and resonating with him and the main point of Penacony's Message... more than I should have and wished to share because I love 2.2's story and need people to see my vision.
Of course heavy 2.2 Star Rail Spoilers Ahead so BEWARE!!!
#sunday hsr#sunday#star rail#honkai star rail#i wont lie with you i tried posting this twice on mobile i almost gave up#but i made big numbers on this on another website and people said it helped them see points they didnt consider before and i thought#i can deal with the mortifying ordeal of being seen#IM THE NUMBER ONE SUNDAY APOLOGIST#HE MADE ME CRY. THINKING ABOUT THIS MADE ME CRY!!!
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