#im comfortable talking about my experiences now
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bluem1lls · 2 days ago
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hii, could you write a one-shot where se-mi fucks fem reader after an argument/angry? like including really rough sex, degradation, hair pulling, a strap, etc, anything you feel comfortable with. im sorry if this is too horny this is my ovulation week 💔
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✧₊⁺ but you belong to me
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se-mi x fem!reader
authors note: so clearly, this is very much headcanon shdjdjj i tried mixing both together and this came out! thank you so much to both for the request and i hope u like it!
✦ synopsis: you're so in love with your best friend that is not really a surprise when you two fight because she wants to hookup with a random girl.
but as she sees you sitting next to nam-gyu, talking so close, she needs to show you who you belong to.
content: minors dni, best friends to lovers, jealous se-mi (AAAA), smut, strap on, dom!se-mi x sub! reader, bathroom sex, fingering/oral (r!receiving), slight choking and degradation, hair pulling
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i can't believe my anger lead me to this pathetic path.
sitting here, with nam-gyu. that's like... as low as you can get.
"why are you here, doll?" he says, staring at me. "like, don't get me wrong, i'm happy that you decided i'm the best option to hang out but... don't you have a little bodyguard that you're always with?"
i frown as i stare at a blank point. "she decided it's best to go fuck a random girl than staying with her best friend"
se-mi and i have been best friends since senior year from high school. we did everything together, that even lead to eachother being our first kiss for example, but we always said it was a way to experiment, for when the real time comes.
of course, that didn't stopped me from falling for my best friend.
so when we met this new waitress at our usual coffee shop that couldn't stop poiting "how pretty se-mi's piercings are", i didn't liked her.
i was hugging se-mi, feeling cold and confused as she broke our hug to chat with a random girl. random! girl!
that's was so mean of her.
i mean, she has no idea of the feelings i have for her but... she can't be that blind?
right?
so, that lead to us fighting at se-mi's house afterwards, where we were having the last hangout of the year with our group and a few others.
the 'fight' being me telling her how much i didn't liked this new girl as she replied by scoffing and rolling her eyes.
like always.
that brings me to present time. where, the party has already started. i can see se-mi talking and laughing with this girl (she even invited her, i can't believe it!) while im sitting next to nam-gyu, a boy who i know she really fucking hates but just got used to his presence because we're in the same friend group.
"i think the word you're looking for is jealous" he keeps with the conversation. he chuckles as i stare at him like he was insane.
"don't say that. i'm not jealous. i just think it's stupid that i tell her 'oh hey don't hook up with her, she gives me bad vibes' and she still goes for it!" i tell him gesturing with my hands, getting angry all over again.
"you're too pretty to be jealous, doll" nam-gyu says, staring at me.
"maybe not more than a random blonde" i mumble, covering my face.
"hey listen. we might not get along great, but" he says, removing my hands out of my face, making me stare him. "you're the most gorgeous girl in this trashy party" we both chuckle.
i smile, thankful. he's actually making me feel better.
"thanks, i can't believe i'm saying this but... you're actually a decent person" i spoke, smiling.
he grins as one of his hands goes to grab a strand of my hair, tucking it behind my ear.
as he was getting close, a hand grabs the neck of his shirt from behind and pulls him away.
"what the fuck do you think you're doing?" se-mi says to him, her face twisted in anger and betray. her stare now focus on me as she frowns. "were you going to kiss him? for real?" she scoffs as she lets nam-gyu free of her hold and sarcastically chuckles.
i stare at her, confusion all over my face.
what was she talking about?
getting up from the couch, i stand in front of her.
"i don't get it. if i get in between your hookup i'm a bitch but you interrumpt a conversation and you're a heroe?" i say close to her face. we're standing a few inches apart. i can feel her breath on my face. i know she's mad. she has the same harsh look everytime thanos or nam-gyu say something that she doesn't like, before punching them.
but i'm not used to her staring at me that way.
"this is ridiculous. we're all having a good time. we'll talk about this later" i say turning around, heading to the bathroom.
i can hear her loud steps following me as i enter to the bathroom. she pushes the door before i can close it and enters, closing the door behind her.
she walks towards me, taking a deep breath as she stares my features. annoyance is clear on her face.
"what the fuck? nam-gyu? that's who you choose to go for, out of all the people here?" her expression growing with irritation.
"oh i'm sorry, i thought you were too busy with the blondie to notice my presence!"
"what are you talking about?" she says like i'm insane. "why does she makes you so angry? you never aprove of anyone i try to hookup." she says, scoffing.
"well, im just looking out for you"
"bullshit." se-mi replies, her expression growing angrier "you push me away, you flirt with nam-gyu-"
"flirt with nam-gyu?" i say, stopping her mid-sentence, confused. "what are you talking about? i wasn't flirting with him!"
"you were. you literally let him get close to you, touch your hair"
"you do that, my friends sometimes do that, i thought it was friendly" i shrugged. was he really flirting with me? "i didn't noticed. i promise"
she gazes into my eyes and looks for any sign of a lie in my face. her stare softens once she sees that i'm not lying to her. she steps closer to me, her body still tense.
"it made me so angry seeing you with him" she said, avoiding my eyes. "i thought you were trying to make me jealous on purpose and.." she stops and pins me against the wall. "it was driving me crazy"
my heart beats like crazy, i feel my cheeks heating up from how close she's standing to me.
"wh-why did it drive you crazy?"
her eyes becoming darker, filled with possessiveness. her raw voice, talks in a low tone.
"why do you think? i want you. all the times i hate seeing someone else get too close to you? i knew i was a little too much overprotective over you but," she stops, lifting my chin so i can stare into her eyes. "tonight? you ignoring me and talking to him instead? made my blood boil. i wanted to bend you against the table and fuck you right then and there so everyone can see who owns you."
i felt a heat set on my lower stomach, my panties becoming soaked for her words. i bit my lip as my stare drops to her lips.
her breath hitches. she swallows hard while closing the distance between us, trapping me against her and the wall. her lips capture mine with a kiss, her hands roaming all through my body as she settles on my throat, squeezing to remove air from my lungs. my hand wraps around her bicep, squeezing it one the choking becomes too much.
the kiss turning into a hungry, desesperate one. deepening as her tongue enters my mouth.
"you have no idea how much i want you" i moan in between kisses as her hands lower to my waist.
"if you keep saying things like that, i'll fuck you here, no time to take you to the bedroom" she says, eyes darkened with desire.
i nod as her kisses go lower to my neck, bitting, licking and leaving hickeys as i whimper.
"when i finish fucking you stupid, you're gonna go show him your hickeys and tell him who left them there" she says in a growl.
i nod, completely at her mercy.
she kneels, her hands slowly going under my skirt as she pulls it up, making me hold it.
"you and this miniskirt have been driving me insane all night" she says, her fingers teasing my folds over my panties. "look at you baby, you're soaked. you ruined this pretty pair of undies. being my whore made you this wet?" she says, her fingers still softly tracing my cunt, feeling the wetness.
"all for you, all for you. please se-mi" i beg whimpering, my puffy clit needy for stimulation.
"please what baby? use your words like the grown girl you are" she says, her eyes dark and feral, staring at the wet patch growing on my underwear.
"please fuck me."
her eyes graze all over my face as a smirk forms in her lips. i whimper as her fingers grab the elastic band of my panties. her face so close i can feel her breath against my cunt, making me clench to nothing. her tongue can't help but swipe across.
i moan, one hand holding to my skirt as the other one heads to grab her hair to pull her closer. she chuckles at my desperation, giving another flick of her tongue.
finally, she slowly begins to pull my panties down, removing them.
cold air hitting my clit, making me squeeze my thighs. her breathing getting heavier as she parts my legs, seeing the wetness covering my inner thighs.
she grabs my leg and places it on top of her shoulder, getting closer to where i need her the most. her fingers slowly teasing my clit as i give her a choked moan.
her tongue meets my clit, giving kitten licks as her fingers lower to tease my entrance. i yank her hair, trying to pull her even closer, making her stop. my eyes become watery.
"n-no wait, wh-why did you stop" i whimper, so needy.
"you're such a brat. you tease all night, you make me angry and you want me to take it to your pace?" she says, two of her fingers enter without warning in my soppy cunt, making me moan loudly. "you'll do as i say when i say it, you're my slut" she stares at me, as my eyes threaten to shut close from pleasure. i nod, making sure she knew i understood.
"lets fuck the attitude out of you, hm?" she says, her tongue meeting my clit once again as her two fingers curl inside of me with no mercy.
her tongue flicks on all the right places, fingers never leaving my inside as she thrust deeper and harder, making me clench.
"i-if you keep going i'll cum...i'm gonna cum please" i moan loudly as her pace seems to go even faster.
my head against the wall, feeling completely overwhelmed by how good she's fucking me. i can hear the squelching sounds of my pussy as she keeps thrusting, hitting that spot that makes me wanna crumble for her.
she keeps eating me, soft moans leaving her mouth, turning me on even more.
then suddenly, when i'm about to hit the climax, everything stops.
i open my eyes wide as i see her smirking playfully in between my legs.
"you're ready to take my cock princess?" her voice dripping in lust as she stood up. she grabs my hips and bites my pouty lips, kissing me once again.
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she pounds with no mercy into me with her fake cock, my eyes rolling back from pleasure as i feel her hand squeeze my throat, choking me as she thrusts harder.
"you like it baby? you like my cock?" she says, heavy breathing as i mumble something that sounds like "yeah..yes..yeah"
she keeps slamming into me as her fingers leave my throath and go straight to my aching clit. she circles as i clench, showing i'm getting closer and closer to my release.
my moans get louder as she goes deeper and faster.
"you're gonna cum for me princess? i wanna feel you tight around my cock" she says, her moves never stopping.
i nod, desesperate. "se-mi.. baby i love-i love you so much.. so so much-" i cry out as my mouth opens in a "o" shape.
heat positions in my lower stomach, expanding more and more with each thrust, until it snaps.
i pull her by the neck, kissing her deeply to shut my loud moan as i cum. my cunt pulsating around her cock as she never stops moving, making my orgasm last even longer, while she hungrily returns the kiss. her hand leaving my clit and settling on my throat, choking me while she bites and pulls my lower lip.
"i love you so much princess" she says, slowly pausing her thrusts.
as she pulls away her cock leaves my insides, making me whine as i let my body go numb against the bed. my eyes closing as i feel her move from on top of me to sit besides me
her hands position behind my head, pulling me up to drink some water.
i open my eyes to see her hair sticking to her face, cheeks flustered and her eyes dilatated.
as i stop drinking and slowly sit myself in bed, she kisses me once again, her tongue exploring once again my mouth. the feeling that i'll never get tired of this sits on my chest.
"you didn't think this was all, right baby?" she smirks, breaking the kiss and grabbing my hips.
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"you're such a good slut, you like this huh? being a whore for your best friend? this' what you wanted?" she teases me as her cock slams into me from behind, spanking me, leaving a red mark of her hand.
tears running my cheeks from pleasure and humiliation. the moans that came from my mouth chanting her name sounded almost pornographic.
"poor baby, all she ever wanted was to go dumb on my cock. you're taking it so good, my little slut"
she had me on all fours, rutting into me, making me take her whole lenght.
her black strap hitting places that made me scream from pleasure. my face against her pillow trying to quiet the moans she took out of me by fucking me ruthless.
"you only wanted me to fuck you dumb, fuck that bratty attitude out of you. look at you now" she said, spanking me as she went harder. "pathetic whiny baby"
one of her hands on my hips, helping her slam deeply into me, while her other hand threads my hair and pulls it, making me lift my face from the pillow with a moan.
"i dont hear you screaming princess, and neither can the idiots downstairs. i bet they want you like this, but you're all mine" she whispers in my ear bringing me closer to her chest without removing her cock, who fucks into me while my slick is covering it entirely.
she keeps pulling my hair harder and tighter. her moves becoming sloppier as her hand sneaks to play with my clit.
the circles over it and her cock thrusting non stop to my squelching cunt made me clench, the release feeling so close again.
"se-mi..se-mi i'm coming again" i cried as she kept slamming and pulling my hair so i couldn't fall against the pillow. my moans becoming louder with each thrust.
the pleasure taking all over my body, i cried as i felt myself reach the climax. she kept going with her moves, but started to slow down, softly grabbing my body to prevent me from falling hard onto the matress.
she pulled away, the feeling of nothing filling me left me whining. my body lays in bed as my breathing tries to become normal. i felt like i was passing out.
she lays besides me, moving my body to be almost resting on top of her as she kisses my head.
"i never wanted anyone else. and you're dumb for not telling me about your feelings. we could've done this sooner" she chuckles as i nod, tired.
"i wasn't flirting with nam-gyu. i always wanted you" i said with my eyes close, almost falling asleep.
"i know baby. but tomorrow he'll see the hickeys and i'll be happier" she mumbles, closing her eyes to doze off.
i hear a few knocks on the door as we both open our eyes.
"why do we get all the cleaning and you two get the sex? that's so unfair" thanos said, knocking again on the door.
we could hear him and nam-gyu mumbling as thanos laughed at him.
"a chance? "thanos snorts, teasing nam-gyu. "you're stupid if you thought se-mi would let you get an inch close to her" he says as the other guy shushed him.
se-mi scoffs as she hugs me, forcing me to close my eyes and doze off.
who knew falling for your best friend could end this good?
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brett-is-afraid · 2 years ago
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I love when people hit me with the "well how would you feel if people wrote rpf about YOU?" argument because its like. Oh baby. You're asking the wrong fucking one 😂
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worstloki · 11 months ago
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love the idea of the Avengers adding new members but being stingy about rooms so the OG Avengers each get their own but Bucky and Loki are forced to share one under the guise of it being 'healthy interaction'
#Bucky and Loki being friends but in a weird way and now Thor is concerned like 'i don't recognise my brother anymore T-T'#and Steve is grimacing and sighing like 'my chemical romance isn't that bad Thor you just have to acquire the taste'#Bucky and Loki bunking in a room together and people just forgot to give them a second bed but it's ok because they both sleep on the floor#they wake each other up from nightmares and when it's done/conscious they look at each other in slight alarm and just give '👍❓❗' '👍👍❓'#aggressive thumbs up before returning to bed still communicating with thumbs up like 'all good??' 'all good??' 'all good!' 'go sleep?!?'#they both are convinced that oily hair is a way to keep it healthy and dandruff free and like they're not WRONG bc it works for them#but people also hate listening to them corroborate such experiences with each other#like you can't deny their hair is healthy and silky when they wash up and get dressed for something. BUT. STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.#they talk about how the bath they share is so comfortable for two people and it's driving people up a wall#Natasha opens the door and sees Bucky in the dark propped against a wall looking half dead with earphones in#(he is watching a nature documentary Loki recommended)#they bond over times they were being controlled and/or suicidal in Tony's lab and Tony who was working nods along absently long used to it#Tony: ah yeah I have PTSD but im managing it okay for now with meds#Bucky and Loki: *making faces* boo 👎
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thatsgonnaleaveamark · 6 months ago
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booked a hotel and got the concert ticket aghhhh
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this-should-do · 3 months ago
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me when i meet with my colleges first out trans teacher who is like a celebrity with me after one of my teachers puts me in contact with her again (i had interviewed said trans teacher 4 years prior and hadnt met with her since) and she tells me tjat my teacher had so many positive things to say about me, about how i was one of her brightest most well spoken students and that she (within like 5 minutes of having been talking) immediately sees exactly what my professor had been talking about and so many super implied positives about me that i would never had known about and i dod everything in my power to avoid prying for more details but even what i heard was soso nicies
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#iwillspeakincessantly#god it felt so nice to meet with her again#talking woth someone whos been so influential at my school and the whole state as far as transgender and queer policy making and has#so many connections amd experience and is also trans and historically a teacher bfor she retired#genuinely makes me feel so much better about my life and where im going#and less worried about if ill ever be able to live a peaceful life as a trans twacher when she personally knows#multiple other transmen tbats shes taught who are now teaching IN MY STATE#safely and happily#ough#we said wed meet more in the future and she encouraged me to join the cities pride group that she had founded and is the head of#and maybe tjis time ill actjally go#she even gifted me a book that she had had that she thinks would give me solace and comfort in my life#tbat was also written by a trans man sinxe she thinks im easily intelligent enough to get the humor and referwnces in#god she said i was well spoken and articulated even tho i feel so stupid and inarticulate sometimes#since i ramble a lot and lose my thoughts and i feel like my speaking vocabulary is so lowbrow and cheap often#no matter how many times other peope say i always sound so intelligent when i speak#ARGH#been super steessed about a lot of things in my life and if ill make it out alive but just this short hour and a half convo over a food#has made me feel so mich better and happier and hopeful#argh argh ougj i love finding out that people talk immense amount of positive things about me#god#i was rlaking about how often i struggle woth socializing amd making friends and she aas like really? ive been having a wondefful time#walkimg with you youre so intelligent and well spoken and its like thank you my issues ckme from group settings#and unclear un familiar subjects and ettiqutes of my fellow youths#but it made me feel so good about myself#im gonna implode :333333 positive
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tanicus-caesareth · 8 months ago
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guarana drama, damage control
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i-write-sin-not-tragedy · 19 days ago
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Wait ain't you aromantic
I coulda sworn it was in your bio but i could be wrong its gone now
1. Its not there anymore bc its nobodies business.
2. You will not like my answers to any questions about it, trust me.
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arolesbianism · 4 months ago
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Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up
#rat rambles#stars posting#like I have a vague idea of some of the like themes I imagine being present late game but it doesnt change the fact that act 5 isnt very#duo looper au friendly especially in this case with most of the ideas I have#I rly want it to be both a breaking point for them as individuals and a breaking point for their relationship but idk how to go about that#fully taking the rest of the party into account especially since Im not even sure if I wanna give odile her own friendquests#like I Could but I also think it'd be fun for many reasons to not#and even if I Did itd be hard to justify having both be able to happen and go wrong in one loop#and theres not rly a good solution to that I think so my best bet is probably to just leave odile friendquestless#but Id rly like to still have odile quarrel with the rest of the party in a significant way#idk maybe it can be the scene where sif comes back to the lighthouse or smth?#like he comes back and odile just completely lashes out at him or smth and the others get rly upset with her#but then theres also the whole walk through the house that I have to figure out and Im also not set on how that should go#maybe it can be like reality almost splitting as they both try to use timecraft at the same time?#not sure how Id go about portraying that in story though since the rest of the party cant rly experience that I think#Im sure theres some way you could pull that off tho Im just too tired to have any good ideas atm#and then the biggest bastard comes in. mal moments.#like I cant just put them both there! that's not how that works!#and I dont wanna just leave them mostly vanilla thats boringgggg#but Id probably have to. alas.#afterwards is also a bit fuzzy but I have rhe general idea down#me and the bestie when we both made the same wish but dont know that and have both been falling into a spiral over it#(we dont even realize that the part of the wish that was the exact same was the core of the wish)#(we both just thought that we accidentally trapped the other with us in this hell)#(we also have been actively getting worse at communicating for months now so by the time the wishcraft stuff came up we were both deep in#the no feelings talky talk zone)#(we probably should have known smth was up when everyone started consistently thinking that we had a fight every loop)#(maybe we did but we just didnt want to admit they were right)#god I wish I was more confident with writing odile dialogue I wanna draw scenes from this au so bad#it doesnt help that I got too comfortable being into a media that had like 3 fans and now ppl might actually look at what I create
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epicdogymoment · 1 year ago
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gender and sexuality labels are so fucking hard how am i supposed to know how what i experience (already hard to pin down) compares to what "normal people" experience (completely unknown to me)
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mcheung · 2 months ago
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i love cantonese it's so comforting
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walnutcookie · 6 months ago
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still kind of ticked abt how my trans friends get all the respect in the world and my parents are putting in effort to use the right pronouns and gendered words and then when it comes to me i get "you wont be a boy unless you cut your hair short" yelled at me at the dinner table
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quietwingsinthesky · 10 months ago
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thinks about child-but-growing-fast amara and lucifer in the same room and gets ill.
#im gonna get called a homestuck again im SORRY its a good trope#she’s not his mom but she is. older than him and older than god and a being he helped imprison.#and the effects of that. here and now. are that she is so weak she has to relearn how to exist.#that she has to eat souls. tear them out one by one. you have to imagine that lucifer once saw her devour whole galaxies on a whim.#back when everything was moving in constant flux between destruction and creation. you have to imagine.#what is it to see her like this. is it pitiable. awful. comforting because she can’t hurt him right now and if he struck first maybe she#never could?#would he think about this moment this experience later when he’s made human. when he experiences a similar powerlessness.#anyway. lucifer gets out of the cage and trashes crowley’s place to kidnap his aunt-who-is-baby-right-now#u know me i love when characters go on the run together. what a weird little bond they’d form.#how do you overcome the anger at someone who helped cage you for eternity? does it help to know he didn’t escape your fate just because he#helped seal it when it was you? do you think they trade cage stories.#do you think lucifer tells her about how michael is still trapped in there and when he goes quiet. it’s not him who says he’s glad michael#knows what it’s like. it’s amara who says it. with an anger older than time. bitter enough to sting.#arms curled around herself because she’s hungry now. always hungry. tries not to think about what lucifer would taste like. (powerful)#sitting on a bench together watching people (souls. meals.) walk by. talking about prisons. talking about justice. maybe. or revenge. same#thing. and amara is leaning against him coiled tight through every muscle in her body and so so hungry. and when she says she’s glad michael#is suffering she isn’t really talking about him. but when she says it. lucifer lets out a breath. and says. me too.#and then he goes to find her something(one) to eat.#u see my vision. u do.
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cuntstable · 1 year ago
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i read them as a teen and was obsessed but as an adult the song of ice and fire books are so nothing to me. EXCEPT. for brienne of tarth…… grr martin got criticized for misogony crimes in the first book so he read feminism 101 and immediately went ”oh ok. ill write an extremely emphathetic story about growing up and existing as a physically ugly gender nonconforming woman in a violently patriarchical world and describe from her pov the way in which it traumatizes you and haunts you and how you will forever feel like a failure and a monster for being unable to match the idealized standard of beauty for women and for being undesirable to men around you. youll feel like you belong nowhere and your formative years will be an endless tirade of mockery and humilition simply for existing as you are. and with time youll find people who accept you and love you and youll find reasons to keep going etc etc like theres joy in your life too. but youll still have to carry that pain with you” and like thinking about it still makes me want to sob even years later. very cool.
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moxymaxing · 1 year ago
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(guy ignoring all of his problems voice) holy shit. im so mentally healthy
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Feeling something about growing up afab and experiencing misogyny my whole life and sharing that with other afab people and women (trans and cis ones) and then realizing I’m genderfluid and Sometimes A Boy and learning very quickly I can’t share that with anyone.
Because now I’M the problem. Now I’M the misogynistic, violent, disgusting, scary, evil masculine person that women and non-binary people (yes, even the queer ones) don’t want around for those reasons. The misogyny I experienced my entire life (side by side with them!) doesn’t matter anymore even when I still experience it!! And cis men don’t want me either, because I’m “not a real man.” And the people that still want me around usually say it’s because I’m “not a real man.” And terfs love to say I have “internalized misogyny.”
And so where do I fit? What group wants a Sometimes Guy or just any transmasculine person? And looking back at times I’ve come out to myself and others and very quickly realized it was a mistake and gone right back in the closet. Or I’ll be out to them but have to claim to never identify as masculine because doing so is Just Not Acceptable and they make that very clear. She/they or they/them if cool but the second I’m a she/they/he or a he/they we have a problem. “Oh, you’re genderfluid? That’s cool. You’re not like, a guy, right?” “Non-binary? At least you’re not a boy! Men are just the WORST.”
And I’m tired of squishing and crushing and destroying this piece of myself so people accept me in queer spaces or as their friend I’m tired of coming out to partners and getting dumped because it’s fine if I’m feminine or non-binary but not fine if I’m masculine, I’m tired of hearing maybe it’s okay if I’m transmasc if I only wanna bind and pack but oops never mind it’s not okay if I wanna start T. I’m tired of being taught to hate myself or that masculinity is inherently evil and I’m
Tired. Just. Tired.
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nexttothelamp · 2 years ago
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bruh
#do i even know? probably not#god its taking so long to get healthy#also i just... cant fucking feel comfortable ranting in the tags on here because of a particular follower that makes me uncomfortable 🤣#cant unfollow them i know them in real life#but i makes me very uncomfy how they watch my blog 🤣#like i wanted to get in here and rant about the struggles me and bae are having (not with each other lmao)#and like my illnesses that are fucking keeping me foggy and sick#but im thinking about one person. who i never see and dont have to at all if i dont want to#and i have quite a few other followers from real life! and i am happy to see every single note!#but this particular person. is such a miserable experience for me#i refuse to be mean to them. it wouldnt be worth the psychic damage#but fuck they make me sad#they talk over everyone and are such a fucking know it all#like an old friend can try to ask me about the city that I currently live in? and have?? for nearly 6 years now?? and THEY answer over me??#like bruh#also i have personal issues with being disrespected or ignored when im speaking; namely due to that being the default of my existence#until around 22#i think about deleting my blog or renaming it but#i like nexttothelamp and i like this blog#idk maybe by the time im 30 ill have the guts to block them 😅#but yunno what? this felt better#yunno my therapist has told me this over and over and over#but lmao i guess it still bears repeating#externalise that internal struggle. even if the thoughts are small and petty and dont feel like thwyre worth your time#write it down#then read it. or burn it. rip it up or eat it it doesnt matter 🤣#damn this DID make me feel better#get that petty bs out of my body and let it dissipate into nothing~#lmao i wanna bitch more and get more specific but even they arent that clueless#id say delete later but i wont
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