#im comfortable talking about my experiences now

[brett-is-afraid]

I love when people hit me with the "well how would you feel if people wrote rpf about YOU?" argument because its like. Oh baby. You're asking the wrong fucking one 😂

[worstloki]

love the idea of the Avengers adding new members but being stingy about rooms so the OG Avengers each get their own but Bucky and Loki are forced to share one under the guise of it being 'healthy interaction'

[nabaath-areng]

im having the worst body day in a good while in terms of pain but i refuse to lay down. for there lies the road to the devil (mental health spiraling with nothing to distract from it). i SHOULD cook. but im not sure ill be able to with the pain. especially since the pain is because it feels like literally nothing is sticking together, like im much more bendy and hypermobile and useless than normal, which severely affects both motor skills and body strength. not to mention that this is causing a bad jaw day where so chewing is pain cause i already cant keep it in place and keep my mouth properly closed. i keep complaining but like, holy fuck i want off this illness ride

[thatsgonnaleaveamark]

booked a hotel and got the concert ticket aghhhh

[this-should-do]

me when i meet with my colleges first out trans teacher who is like a celebrity with me after one of my teachers puts me in contact with her again (i had interviewed said trans teacher 4 years prior and hadnt met with her since) and she tells me tjat my teacher had so many positive things to say about me, about how i was one of her brightest most well spoken students and that she (within like 5 minutes of having been talking) immediately sees exactly what my professor had been talking about and so many super implied positives about me that i would never had known about and i dod everything in my power to avoid prying for more details but even what i heard was soso nicies

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[i-write-sin-not-tragedy]

Wait ain't you aromantic

I coulda sworn it was in your bio but i could be wrong its gone now

1. Its not there anymore bc its nobodies business.

2. You will not like my answers to any questions about it, trust me.

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up

[epicdogymoment]

gender and sexuality labels are so fucking hard how am i supposed to know how what i experience (already hard to pin down) compares to what "normal people" experience (completely unknown to me)

[mcheung]

i love cantonese it's so comforting

[quietwingsinthesky]

thinks about child-but-growing-fast amara and lucifer in the same room and gets ill.

[cuntstable]

i read them as a teen and was obsessed but as an adult the song of ice and fire books are so nothing to me. EXCEPT. for brienne of tarth…… grr martin got criticized for misogony crimes in the first book so he read feminism 101 and immediately went ”oh ok. ill write an extremely emphathetic story about growing up and existing as a physically ugly gender nonconforming woman in a violently patriarchical world and describe from her pov the way in which it traumatizes you and haunts you and how you will forever feel like a failure and a monster for being unable to match the idealized standard of beauty for women and for being undesirable to men around you. youll feel like you belong nowhere and your formative years will be an endless tirade of mockery and humilition simply for existing as you are. and with time youll find people who accept you and love you and youll find reasons to keep going etc etc like theres joy in your life too. but youll still have to carry that pain with you” and like thinking about it still makes me want to sob even years later. very cool.

[moxymaxing]

(guy ignoring all of his problems voice) holy shit. im so mentally healthy

[pepprs]

hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

Feeling something about growing up afab and experiencing misogyny my whole life and sharing that with other afab people and women (trans and cis ones) and then realizing I’m genderfluid and Sometimes A Boy and learning very quickly I can’t share that with anyone.

Because now I’M the problem. Now I’M the misogynistic, violent, disgusting, scary, evil masculine person that women and non-binary people (yes, even the queer ones) don’t want around for those reasons. The misogyny I experienced my entire life (side by side with them!) doesn’t matter anymore even when I still experience it!! And cis men don’t want me either, because I’m “not a real man.” And the people that still want me around usually say it’s because I’m “not a real man.” And terfs love to say I have “internalized misogyny.”

And so where do I fit? What group wants a Sometimes Guy or just any transmasculine person? And looking back at times I’ve come out to myself and others and very quickly realized it was a mistake and gone right back in the closet. Or I’ll be out to them but have to claim to never identify as masculine because doing so is Just Not Acceptable and they make that very clear. She/they or they/them if cool but the second I’m a she/they/he or a he/they we have a problem. “Oh, you’re genderfluid? That’s cool. You’re not like, a guy, right?” “Non-binary? At least you’re not a boy! Men are just the WORST.”

And I’m tired of squishing and crushing and destroying this piece of myself so people accept me in queer spaces or as their friend I’m tired of coming out to partners and getting dumped because it’s fine if I’m feminine or non-binary but not fine if I’m masculine, I’m tired of hearing maybe it’s okay if I’m transmasc if I only wanna bind and pack but oops never mind it’s not okay if I wanna start T. I’m tired of being taught to hate myself or that masculinity is inherently evil and I’m

Tired. Just. Tired.

[ctommyisnt]

It is cruel of me to be jealous of your place in life when I know full well it is the cruelness of the world and horrifying twist of fate that brought you through this life. I know full well you are who you are because of the trials and tribulations you have gone through. It has not made you better, no, but it made a version of yourself that I long for. I will never be you because the world has been kind to me. It has caused me pain and torment but cupped me in its hands as it brought me to where I am and I am no better for it. I long for a purpose, a belonging, perhaps even love. But I’ll never be as deserving of these as your are; and therefore I shall watch in the shadows as you shine through the worlds pitfalls and I am left to wither in the darkness that I have brought about myself.