#otherwise i just kinda hope everyone else doesnt hate me

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

Feeling something about growing up afab and experiencing misogyny my whole life and sharing that with other afab people and women (trans and cis ones) and then realizing I’m genderfluid and Sometimes A Boy and learning very quickly I can’t share that with anyone.

Because now I’M the problem. Now I’M the misogynistic, violent, disgusting, scary, evil masculine person that women and non-binary people (yes, even the queer ones) don’t want around for those reasons. The misogyny I experienced my entire life (side by side with them!) doesn’t matter anymore even when I still experience it!! And cis men don’t want me either, because I’m “not a real man.” And the people that still want me around usually say it’s because I’m “not a real man.” And terfs love to say I have “internalized misogyny.”

And so where do I fit? What group wants a Sometimes Guy or just any transmasculine person? And looking back at times I’ve come out to myself and others and very quickly realized it was a mistake and gone right back in the closet. Or I’ll be out to them but have to claim to never identify as masculine because doing so is Just Not Acceptable and they make that very clear. She/they or they/them if cool but the second I’m a she/they/he or a he/they we have a problem. “Oh, you’re genderfluid? That’s cool. You’re not like, a guy, right?” “Non-binary? At least you’re not a boy! Men are just the WORST.”

And I’m tired of squishing and crushing and destroying this piece of myself so people accept me in queer spaces or as their friend I’m tired of coming out to partners and getting dumped because it’s fine if I’m feminine or non-binary but not fine if I’m masculine, I’m tired of hearing maybe it’s okay if I’m transmasc if I only wanna bind and pack but oops never mind it’s not okay if I wanna start T. I’m tired of being taught to hate myself or that masculinity is inherently evil and I’m

Tired. Just. Tired.

[livecharliereaction]

Bye tsumihoroboshi

thats all for tsumihoroboshi chapter ZAMN. omfg i did cry i cant lie at that big battle on the rooftop i did i did i did.. It just hits a litte close to home friendship and all that... I love my friends so mach i get everything theyre feeling u know... AND the delusions of rena what a crazy writing style i dont think ill get over it like ever. urgh. Well the final tip almost wanted me to consider that "ooh maybe she was right!" but honestly my takeaways from it are juts 1. disaster happens regardless no matter how the events go otherwise 2. rika was murdered? Thats pretty weird 3. BUT theres hope liek she said BECAUSE: keiichi rememberd something from "another world" (i know a timeloop when i see one. its def a timeloop. Hells yeah) 4. the scrapbooks do hvae some evil spell or something takano i am onto you its weird anyway she shows up at such times and all.. Idk if shes the #MAIN VILLAIN DEMON OMG but shes Something.

Rena i love you thank you for solidifying your place as my favorite good time. argh every chapter so far is better than the one before it goes for this one too it does it does... Which is amazing implications for next ones... Lets hope they keep it up...

And keiichi i cant lie i do love you. I love you i love you i love you. Ughh. If i was still 16 hed have a big chance at going to that kinlist. But hes so gross so i wouldnt actually have added him then either!!! im unable to kin these days because EVERY GOOD CHARACTER EVER has Some Traits I Can Relate To Myself becuase i dont know something something human emotion something i am just like everyone else and everyone is just like me in the end and i love it. But yeah keiichi love the guy hes so #Power of Friendship #Protagonist. Im mentioning this cos i loved the girls from the start and still do but keiichi had to prove himself a little...

Yeah im curious about satoko now too i dont think i paid her enough mind i sort of ended up assuming shes #Normal but just super close to rika obviously but that one line about her being older. I couldnt tell yet if its Haha satokos body is older and rikas being funny! OR Omg satoko some immortal or something too woww! but yeah. I wouldnt think she is it doesnt seem that way at all BUT u never know w this fuckass series..ou ou ou ou ou

Mion i love you the girl that you are. Rena you are everything and more. Rika how have you managed to stay mysterious ive been here for like over 30 hours total for sure maybe even 40. But hmm

if its a timeloop i still cant tell what its about. id say rikas in charge (wants to keep giving this world a chance) n takano is with the antagonistic forces But how does it work exactly? If rikas the one "looping the time" directly it doesnt really compute unless she can do it from the afterlife. I dont konw.

And Omfg i hate this series because i STILL believe satoshi will show up one day. Even though it seems impossible now. But i liked him n shion so much dude i love shion so satoshi HAS TO come back for her. Urgh urgh urgh

But yeah i fr didnt think keiichi would be able to break renas delusion even for such a long moment But he pulled it off. Shes really cool i love her. I love her i love her i love her. UGHHH. Everything and more. and i said it alr but ill say it again the portrayal of her delusional state is SO personal to me i get her i get her i DO so good... Urghh. Ok. Thank u charhigurashi6 i have to check how many games the bundle i bought still has hmm

ok these 3 i own but havent installed lets see The first one here is um well i dont know that girl i havent seen her which is concerning! I feel like i mightve seen a sprite (in the og style that i read with) but thats kinda it. I recall seeing a name somewhere too shes a furude i think but not too sure Im always frustrated when i see a spoiler like that but then it never makes me any more knowledgeable about anything so so far its fine #LOL. proably has to do with the demon stuff tho...

takano in the middle one right takano you are so weird and offputting. Damn maybe she IS the big bad afterall

last one aww rika But yeah thats. I dont know its at least 5 hrs each but i think i spent like 10+ hrs on meakashi so it could possibly be up to like what. 15 even 20? per game. At least 15 hours left though.. Idt theres anything outside of the bundle after this its either higu anime time or umineko time ill see what kinda time i have then (i can probably watch the anime while multitasking i dont really care so much but umineko i want to be TUNED. IN.)

yay exciting ok thank u charhigurashi6 best chapter so far loved it love u rena love u everyone ok gn

[shady-shrub]

i dunno if these are sins but...

zane and pizal are just friends. i hate how pixal was just girl robot so robot guy can also have a love interest ALSO ZANE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?? bro has watched romantic movies AND LAUGHED. the only love he KNOWS is platonic??

let's talk about songs. THEYRE SO GOOD. ive listened to all of the music SO MUCH. ITS SO FUN TO DANCE TO. but. the only song i have to skip is the whipmas. THE CHRISTMAS WHIP IS GARBAGE AAAAAAA. its just the dungeon whip with jingle bells and quieter vocals hrnrngngn. yeah otherwise definitely suggest "After the Blackout" and ""Miracle Whip" ABSOLUTE BANGERS!!!!!

LOSTSHIPPING. enough glacier and lava. (i love them still so much. but.) LOOK AT HOW THEY LOOK AT EACHOTHER. BROS HAVE FALLEN. "i still need you" OR WHATEVER COLE SAYS TO GEO!!! its pretty telling. they have kids guys. 3 OF THEM. okay okay okay, especially in DR when arin and lloyd get to the raft of islanders and one of peeps have a GAY SYMBOL!?? yeah this show knows what its doing

i am lying. this show does not know what it is doing half the time. THIS SHOW HAS not awful but NOT GREAT WRITING. and not to compare but.

GO WATCH MONKIE KID RIGHT NOW PLSLSPSL

monkie kid and ninjago ARE SO GOOD!!! but monkie kid has better writing because of a few key factors. MAINLY because they have clear direction to take the story. they leave little to no loose ends (still waiting for sandy to go crazy again like in that one episode ehdhe)

IM SO NORMAL AAAAAA YOU GUYS LITTERALY IN THE THEME SONG IT PICTURES HIM BEING AN ABOSULTE UNIT!?!? sorry.

the point im getting at is the consistency in writing is there, but in ninjago? its finicky. especially in early seasons. i LOVE the shenanigans that go on BUT. you can see the writers taking different turns with the story so much that some doesn't make sense??

like zanes 6th sense?? his visions that doesn't count as dreams?? what about falcon. THAT BIRD NEEDS TO COMMIT TO THE RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE IT KEEP FLYING AWAY. how many beginning before time had a name are there. like now we got sorce dragons but what about firstborn!?? did everyone doing DR forgor dragons and the oni exist?? i hope they explain it OR ELSE IM GOING TO IMPLODE also. season 6. i still don't know who's jays REAL parents are. LIKE IS IT FRITZ??? OR IS IT ED AND EDNA!?? that was not communicated well to my brain which might just be a me thing but. all of this this is about me and my thoughts so.

AND ANOTHER THING. WHAT ABOUT ZANES POWERSOURCE?!?? did we all forget he GAVE IT TO PIXAL!?¿ what is it zane. WHAT ARE YOU MADE FROM.

i could go farther in on this I WILL IF ANYONE WANTS. JUST LET ME KNOW

I HATE MISAKO. more like miSUCKo hehehe. yeah, movie her is EPIC but. she just kinda abandoned her kid at the school??

i really dont like dareth or ronin. i know ronin is souposed to be awful but some thing about him hrjfnng. AND DARETH??? his voice just.

alrighty. in DR there's a lack of. stuff. what stuff? glad you asked. CROSSOVERS. HELLO CHIMA!?!?? ALSO WHERE THR NEVERREALM!??? HRNRNGN so many cool things could have happened.

i do still hope they happen. PLEASE. HRNRNGNGNNGNG

i do think nya should have stayed dead. the impact of her death was AWESOME. jay being depressed. wished for more emotion from kai but oh well.

the only thing that would have made it good was if her coming back WAS EMOTIONAL. BUT IT WASNT. everyone was just. :D oh cool you're back haha. definitely no lasting trauma wooooo NO GUYS THEYRE STILL HUMAN LET THEM SOB AND WEEP.

loved zane turning off his emotions tho. kinda wish more had come from it because. bro has TRAUMA. no one mentions how he EVAPORATED HUNDREDS OF LIVES from existence.

okay, let's talk zane. I LOVE ZANE.

LET HIM BE EVIL. LET HIM GO INSANE!?? evil kai and zane forever <3 <3

actually tho BECAUSE THE OTHERS ARE SO MEAN TO HIM and HES NOT IN THE GROUP!?? like no one cares. no one has a personal connection to him?? i read someone else's post about this and yeah. i dunno who you are BUT YOURE RIGHT. only pixal was close with him AND THEN SHE GONE. good for her but my man is sad.

let him be PINK

i think im done now. i have so many thoughts. WOOOOO I LOVE NINJAGO!!! ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS despite its flaws i will still insist people watch it BECAUSE. ITS SO FUN TO TALK ABOUT.

all the awful quips and punchlines. i love.

cole should have stayed a ghost

Confess to me your Ninjago Sins.

I know you have them.

I'll start. My biggest Ninjago Sin is that I genuinely don't like Morro.

[strssed-out]

theory with the two protagonists (tommy and ranboo)

with enough theories and tweets by the audience of the dsmp roleplay, i think its safe to assume that both c!tommy and c!ranboo are the protagonists of the storyline. both being somehow affected by dream. but, that's the only thing connecting those two characters together. there is barely any evidence and ideas out there that are able to somehow connect ranboo and tommy without making shit up. (/lh), and having barely or any proper evidence to support that idea. as well, the two protagonists aren't that close. most of their interactions relying on tubbo. the only time we really see/saw them together is right before the exile arc. otherwise, its all kinda nonsense from there. might i also add, they are protagonists on opposite sides of the spectrum. ranboo being a reticent and polite character. he is half endermen and half some other piece of shit (lmao). as shown through many streams, ranboo seems to be filling in for c!tommy. (i just wanted to clarify that this is all role-play, and i am talking about CHARACTER tommy!) living w/ techno and phil like tommy used to, and also having a strong bond w/ tubbo. the thing is, he CANT replace tommy in the story. how? one, the audience will not like that. and he doesnt have that same bad(ass) troublemaker personality. tommy is this loud obnoxious person, that likes to cause havoc on the server. so far, all we know is that he is human and ONLY human. thats it. no powers, no nothing. just a normal human being. he is hated by almost everyone on the server, and severely traumatized. though, they both intertwine things of the lore in different ways. a tale of two cities is connected to the lore because of ranboo.(ranboo is then connected by dream) mostly everything else is because of tommy. right now, i feel like the reason why we aren't getting the best interaction is because of tubbo. the duo before ranboo was there was tubbo and tommy. it would be a bit weird and random to suddenly thow tubbo out of the spotlight. as we saw in tubbos latest lore stream, he starts to open up about his trauma and execution. i may be wrong, but what i think is gonna happen is tubbo is going to be the one to find help first. in order to bring ranboo and tommy on the same path, tubbo needs to move a bit, which is clearly progressing. tubbo is now healing, having a family, and being with the one he loves. now im not sure what exactly is going to happen, since it seemed like tubbo is going to be apart of some type of las nevadas shit. if tubbos streams are more like this, and him being busy with it, this can leave ranboo and tommy together. not hundred percent sure how or what will happen to bring the two together. maybe dream hurts tubbo? they both have an insanely strong connection with the boy, and i wouldnt be surprised if thats the reason they get closer.

now, what else could also be happening is the complete opposite with what i jus stated here. instead of taking him out, they bring tubbo more in the spotlight. since quackity is here, something or someone has to connect him with the big and main plot idea. maybe tubbo is going to connect it? who knows. all i can say is that the dsmp story line is quite confusing, and i'm pretty sure wilbur and dream have an idea where to go with this. i just hope it isn't anything awkward and random. though, my next question is what micheal is going to be apart of the dsmp story line. but with that, we need to see a lore stream with him in it.

going back to the topic, i can definitely tell that tommy and ranboo are going to end up having a closer bond, and work with each other more commonly (this is also me trying to lie to myself that we will be getting allium duo content because i need it). having them interact already and so close on the first day when tommy gave the tour could have to do with something. the flower, and the instant connection that both ranboo and tommy have for eachother. even though tommys took some time, you can clearly tell that it is there, and will only get stronger from here :]

[sarasapen]

Batfamily Playing Among Us

This was in my notes so I figured why not. I have a lot of ideas for this that I could turn into a mini series. Hope you guys like this

Headcanons of how the bat family play among us

how the best detective family in the world plays a randomly generated detective game

they’re super competitive and its a life or death situation in their minds, trying to one up each other and prove who the best detective is

anyone who thinks that relationships have nearly been broken over this are absolutely correct because they’re,, so,,,, petty,,,,,,,,,,,

Dick, Dark Blue

vv trusting of Damian

Is heartbroken when Damian stabs him in the very first game

No matter how many times Damian kills him, or how suspicious he is, Dick chalks it up to ‘coincidence’

With Bruce, on the other hand, if he was so much as on the same side of the map as the body, Dick was voting him out

He gives away when he’s imposter with Damian because he gets really happy.

likes to team up with babs to troll sometimes

Jason, Red

he smirks when he kills

Swears when he is killed

Uses the ‘I’ve died before so you should keep me alive now’ tactic

Also exacts revenge

When he’s imposter, people die in the order of who killed Jason in previous games, but he can still have vv good arguments

Surprisingly good team of Imposters with Bruce.

(he pretends to hate it but he gets vv fuzzy inside whenever Bruce mentions teaming up with Jay-lad is his favourite)

(Jason likes to be B's partner, and B likes to be J's partner no one can convince me otherwise)

Tim, Orange

half asleep most of the time so barely manages to say anything, but when he’s the slightest bit awake, he’s no. 1 target because he finds the imposter in like a minute flat

Scary when imposter

has lost only his first game as imposter

he has a perfect plan and his partners usually just run around and don’t interfere

The only thing scarier that Tim being imposter is Tim being imposter with Damian.

the two of them are kings of double kill

those fuckers get everyone before people realise they're dead

how do they do it?

no one knows

Damian, Lime

rage when he’s crew mate

rage when imposter

will always vote for Tim no matter what

Even when they’re both imposters, he has to keep up the illusion

The pair of them are brutal, with Tim manning the traps and sabotages, and Damian being the ultimate master of venting

The pair have yet to lose a game.

Damian ironically hates being imposters with Bruce and Dick

Dick is always hovering, and Daddy dearest usually doesnt know how to press two buttons at the same time

(that moment when Dick kills him and Bruce was there and did nothing because he was also imposter has nothing to do with his vendetta against them)

Barbara, Cyan

poker face, vv good imposter

Queen of electrical

She’s always somehow near electrical

Someone died in the reactor? I was near electrical

 Lights go off? Dw guys babs got it

She’s always the one that finds bodies in the electrical

Always

And when she’s imposter, you bet she’ll use electrical to stack kill and pin it on Dick.

works extremely well with Alfred

they usually convince Steph of their innocence and she third imposters for them

you’d think she’d learn

Stephanie, Purple

snorts every time she kills Bruce/Tim or finds their dead bodies

Usually humming, and is the person that swears as a body is reported because she was in the middle of a task

When she’s imposter, she immediately goes for reactor, kills the first person there, and then self reports as soon as someone else walks in

also the person that will call emergency meeting on someone else, and panic, and get kicked out bcz she's just. like that,,

Cassandra, Yellow

Quiet, speaks only when necessary, either to defend herself or to report a body

good in both tasks and killing

Usually when she’s imposter she can survive without suspicion until about half the crew is dead

Plays best imposter with Duke, who plays in a very similar manner to her

When the team can’t tell if it’s her or Duke, odds are that it’s both of them

Unlike Duke, however, Cass is never seen

This drew suspicions the first few games, before they realised she was just avoiding everyone to avoid being killed

is rarely killed by imposters because of this

kinda weird though, because with everyone playing, you’d think someone would see her around at least once

Duke, White

king of being precisely where he needs to be when he needs to be

Happens to see Jason walk out of a room where Bruce’s dead body is

Happens to be near a vent when Steph pops out

he just happens to be everywhere

and everyone can vouch for him?

It’s rather unnerving.

rlly scary when he plays imposter with Cass because everyone can say Duke is innocent and no one can say Cass is guilty

Alfred, Dark green

on the rare occasions that he plays, no one suspects him ever

Vv quiet, doesn’t participate in discussion and never needs to

not even to defend himself

they just dont vote for him even if it is him?

Bruce, Black

the first few games everyone just kicks him for fun

doesn’t realise ghost tasks are a thing

doesn’t realise venting is a thing either

He actually goes ‘how do I vent like Jason did?’ 

And gets a book thrown at his head

Very competent as Imposter, however, once he figures out how to play

Not the best, but no one (save Damian) is upset if they’re imposters with Bruce

(Bruce likes being imposters with Jason because the pair of them have an unspoken routine that is very nostalgic for the old man.)

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

[calocera]

SPOILERS FOR CATS 2019, here’s my hot takes and opinions

be warned, THIS IS LOOOONG

First off my overall opinion, i LITERALLY cannot say whether it was good or bad, like lots of critics say it just...is beyond that. It’s VERY fun and that’s all I can bring myself to say, I have LOTS of problems with it but I can’t even say that they make the movie bad. It is definitely worth watching

OPINIONS ON CHARACTERS:

Victoria: she’s good! I appreciate that they kinda left her personality blank other than her innocence since that’s pretty much how she always was, still not super thrilled with her as a main character but franchesca did the best she could

Munkustrap: I loved him! he was more of a main character than I would have expected, but they STILL cut all the charm from his lines... why do I love him then? Robbie fairchild did AMAZING background acting, whenever he was in frame he was always doing something SUPER munkustrap-y and making cute dad faces. he was dealt bad lines but he worked around it best he could. Also his legs were normal so...epic fail

Mistoffelees: 😒😒😒😒😒🤢🤢🤮 disappointed but not at all surprised...he was just a Woobie, a softboy uwu nice guy. I felt like I was seeing fanon 2013 loki in cat form. THEY MADE HIS SONG A SADBOY PITY PARTY SONG...WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE 11 O’CLOCK NUMBER SLOW AND SAD???? Where is the smug little shit who’s vague and aloof yet confident and joyous? He was murdered by his evil homophobic shadow clone. I’m not even gunna indulge the fact that him and Victoria were a thing, I’ll go over that later. He also just constantly looked like the crying cat meme his eyes were so red and watery it was horrifying, yet somehow he wasn’t the worst character , that leads us too.....

tugger: what.the.fuck.did.you.do.to.this.boy. HE GOT THE TREATMENT I EXPECTED FOR MUNKUSTRAP! HE WAS DEMOTED TO BACKGROUND CHARACTER! not only did he not sing mr. mistoffelees, he literally did nothing other than his song, he never interacted with ANY characters besides jenny in 1 scene. I know cats has no set main characters but he’s undoubtedly one of the most important characters and he’s like...the least important named character in the movie. ALSO Jason Derulo was not sexy at all. There was NO hip thrusting NO sexy meowing NO glamrock, he was just an asshole and if I hadn’t already seen the original I would have either completely forgotten about his character or though he was the worst character. I’m so fucking angy I cannot express.

Girzzabella: ngl I expected better. Her acting was great but with the horrible effects I couldnt get invested but I’ll touch on the effects later. Her singing was good, but I expected it to carry the movie and it wasn’t at all the best song in the movie, I’d say she’s about as good as I expected she’d be but the movie itself was more enjoyable than I expected so she was less significant

Old d: she was fine, she LOOKED the part definitely, she didn’t have as large a presence as ken page but I wouldnt expect that of her. Her singing wasn’t the greatest though, her voice is fine by it’s just NOT suited to old d’s songs. I would have preferred she play a female gus bc her voice is very sweet and frail, not at all built for belting like her songs required.

Macavity: he’s just...eh. He’s basically a comic relief villain which sucks. He does practically nothing besides kidnap people, say a cheesy line, and act like a caricature of a 90s cartoon villain (and not one of the fun ones) like theres a scene where he poofs away and when he does it he goes, MACAvityyyyyyy and fades away its so unintentionally funny but it just makes him so lame as a villain. not to mention he doesnt even die at the end or get any satisfying conclusion he just gets stuck on top of a statue and his powers suddenly stop working (for some reason??)

Bombalurina: fuck that, I am simultaneously glad she only was in the macavity number bc fuck off Taylor Swift but also disappointed bc she deserved so much better.

Bustopher: 😟 never in my darkest nightmares did I think I’d see bustopher Jones deepthroat multiple crayfish but here we are. Somehow THIS was the most sexual song, I cannot begin to name the fetishes checked off by this performance bc itd hit word limit. Let me just say that I said multiple times out loud, “damn bustopher kinda a freak with it 😏😏” like I CANNOT stress how weirdly sexual it gets. And ofc its all otherwise just haha funney fat guy eat food and burp and fall down. He also breaks the fourth wall a few times which like, fuck you

Jenny: exactly what was shown in the trailer. Unfunny fat jokes and slapstick humor. Also they focused WAY too many shots on her cat pussy and I wish I was making that up. Also of note is that the cgi on the rats and cockroaches are drastically worse than the rest of the movie, like not just bad designs the effects are BAD. also they translated they whole gumbie cat fur-shedding as her wearing fake skin over her outfit which would be fine but UHH the fake fur is skin tight??? so it literally looks like shes ripping off her skin and she does it multiple times its fucking terrifying

Mungojerrie and rumpelteazer: meh, they are fine as characters, not quite as energetic as I would have liked but they didn’t massively fuck anything up? The song was horrible, they went against the beat for...some reason? Like it’s a song with a very distinct rhythm and they split up the lyrics so weirdly. I liked that they followed through with the lore of them working for macavity

Skimbleshanks: YES YESSSSSSSSSS HOLY FUCKING SHIT 💗💕💖💞💜😳😳😳😳😳😳😳💜💛🧡💚💖❤️💗 i absolutely CANNOT express how good skimbleshanks made me feel. He looks like a leather daddy with his chains and suspenders and hat and stache, I hate that I’m saying this but uh...mr skimbleshanks sir😳 we were actually screaming it was so fucking good. Watching this movie was worth it just for skimble. Unironically. I’m listening to the song as we speak. It was kinda weird that they moved the tap dancing to this song but that’s more of a detractor from Jennie’s and a plus side to skimbles since it’s good tap

Gus: good! Ian did a good job of course, no one doubted that he would.

Growltiger and griddlebone: not racist but still absolutely horrifying. One of the worst parts of the movie, I actually got squeamish looking at griddlebone a few times that’s how bad she looks

Everyone else: not that good. I couldn’t tell who was who, all their personalities were annoying, I’m on imdb as we speak trying to figure out who even was supposed to be who. Demeter is completely butchered and jemima just isn’t there, doesn’t sing her part, it all sucked man.

Tech talk:

CGI: okay so here’s the thing, the effects are good. GREAT even, the issue is how fucking horrible the designs are. The lack of cat nose, mouth, and hairy cheeks makes them all look disgusting. Also the feet. Holy fuck why do they have feet. THERES A FUCKING SCENE WHERE TUGGER GRABS VICTORIAS FOOT AND SNIFFS IT. IT LASTS LIKE 5 SECONDS. Old Deuteronomy, Gus, and Cassandra (bc she was already bald) are the only characters I’d say look anywhere close to decent, grizabella looks okay in profile but head on it’s all horrible again. its really such a shame bc the sets are gorgeous! i really hope this movie gets some form of recognition for its sets.

the editing and directing was DOGSHITTTTTTT there are SO many scenes where characters just teleport or parts where people are singing and no ones mouths are moving its really distracting

Other things:

it’s OBVIOUS that the critics calling this movie horny have never seen the original. I’d definitely say the movie is LESS HORNY than the play. It IS however waaaaaaay more uncomfortable with its hornieness, so I’d say in that regard YES, the horny stuff is much more gratuitous and off putting despite there being an overall smaller amount than the play. ie everything bustopher jones does

They changed a BUNCH of lyrics for some reason?? Like they cut verses which I understand but there are like a handful of lyrics in almost every song they just...change. like...okay? All changing lyrics is gunna do is make people who knew the songs frustrated when they can’t sing along

the dancing was incredible! shame the cg just fucking invalidates all of it bc your mind doesnt register it as real people doing real moves

OKAY THE FUCKING CATNIP SCENE so when taylor swift showers everyone in catnip they all just fucking start moaning and go FULL HORNY its TOO MUCH like misto full on does an o face like eyes rolled back mouth open  and munkustrap is like ass up panting i still havent processed it im fucking terrified to encounter it again. they cut the orgy? yet added THIS??? k

WHY did they take 2 of the most iconic characters who FREQUENTLY interact and just

a. Never even have them make eye contact

b. Make 1 a background character

c. Completely change the personality of the other one

On the topic of Victoria/misto: I am just still at a loss as to why they thought it’d be a good idea? They completely removed Plato and for what? This? Pathetic. It’s worth noting the weirdly munkustrap has WAYYY more chemistry with both Victoria AND mistoffelees then they did with each other (there’s a part where it looks like misto and munk are about to kiss for some reason?? munk ALSO gets all touchy feely with skimbleshanks???) anyways munkustrap king moments

tldr; its worth watching, the best parts were the sets, the dancing, skimbleshanks, and munkustrp fucking CARRIES the weight of the world with his face acting. the worst things were a big fat tie between bustopher, tugger,misto,jenny,growltiger and griddlebone, and the godawful design choices

[macklives]

session 81 end

wow, okay, first things first

AC!!!!!

shes so fucking cute holy shit i love her so much i dont even know where to begin??

i mean i guess its because im so used to troll snark and the way they just? banter constantly? seeing someone who is a literal ray of sunshine is so refreshing and wholesome and pure. god she’s great. shes a cat, she knows her stuff. she’s strong and theres also this guys???? who shes scared of?? and tells her what to do??? yeah no, idk who it is but let her make her own decisions lol

maybe its just over exaggeration or whatnot, and hes not bad but first impressions do a lot to me and right now the only thing i know about this guy is that AC needs his approval for everything. i guess ill see where that takes us. hopefully nowhere bad. but AC seems like she can take care of herself and knows how to be a good decent troll and i love her for that. wow it literally took me one dialogue to like her. damn, that was fast. jesus.

you know who else is great?

terezi.

yeah i know right. and that whole trial thing, which yeah i guess half the time i was confused by what the fuck is going on since i still cant grasp the idea of how alternia works, but i enjoyed myself with lemonsnout and how terezi roleplays and how much she gets into it. seeing a character that passionate about something is so sweet and nice.

god this was just a nice overall session

which i say, while i completely forgot about the banter TA and karkat got into

right, that happened. oh my god. they both literally stomped all over each other, dissed one another, still made up in the end because apparently thats their friendship and i guess it just works like that. depends on the friends you have, i guess.

its funny though, not gonna lie

and karkat as of now is just being a prick and honestly? 

like more than usual, which i guess is weird to say but i mean from present time to beginning of hivebent karkat. not that its uncommon for him to be a prick, he is, but seeing him go through the non-linear pattern with john is mmmmh interesting to say the least. though we havent seen his first trolling, just him constantly going “oh god what did i say, i was dumb” u know, not in those words but thats basically what he means. 

ooh im gonna analyze, i feel like analyzing right now my fingers have already typed so much as it is MIGHT AS WELL

and our candidate will be *drum rollll* karkat wow predictable (its below the cut because this is literally irrelevant now to the session)

okay, lets lay out the shit we have already. as i said before, the way he talks presently to john (meaning in the future) is so different than how he speaks to everyone now. of course the “i hate the world” personality is still there, and hes still just regular karkat, but karkat talking with john is patient to some extent and tells him what he needs to know for the game, lowkey kinda chills out once they started talking about movies or growing up as huh, didnt he say larvae or smth?

okay that whole grub thing makes sense now as i just wrote that but i am still confused as to what the FUCK that is implying because i dont think it crossed my mind this much, im repressing it for now until it comes up later. 

anyways, back to what i was saying. he was so DIFFERENT than the way he’s acting now which is bitch and moan and like? stfu karkat lmfao. i mean, its not THAT big of a difference in character, because i know he’s still his grumpy old self, and theres a lot of potential.. for growth? not sure if we’ll get it but i like to assume we will get character growth from these characters with fucking 8000 pages talking about them. but a story needs that growth and with karkat being just a straight up angry dude, in MY EYES, he should.. have growth, no? idk HOW he will grow, but im basically just taking what i have right now which isnt much but i analyze things for fun sometimes so let me be.

that being said, because its so early on, im not sure where homestuck is gonna go and i dont have much to go on but being in the psychology course shit happens when you have limited information and you gotta pin point what makes a person a person and how do they cope with things to grow further into life. many of my assignments involve limited info so honestly, not that hard.

but it is something that ive noticed, the way karkat is different as he grows which possibly means the whole veil thing happens later later on in his life and we havent yet seen that small growth become patience and not whining every time he doesnt get what he wants. but growth is common and it mostly likely happens to everyone, so its not like wow this is a surprise and a plot twist, more of something that i just wanna write for the sake of writing it. i hope that makes sense? i dont exactly know where im going with this. i just mean that im basically going to analyse karkat a tiny bit so idk how to otherwise explain it but you’ll get where im going with this as i type more lmao. 

anyways, so karkat literally said “pretend i dont think highly of my friend’s talents” as if he’s visibly trying to force himself from all emotions and bash on those who do (reference: “stop being sensitive, its repugnant” or whatever tf he said while TA replied with “hypocrite”) i take that as a key word. so honestly, while that was the smallest thing ive gotten from this session, its the thing im most curious about actually and i actually havent mentioned lol. because what ive learned in psych, which this is just common knowledge but i did an assignment on it so like?? could be useful?? is that people who hold off their emotions tend to hold off others as well, so there is no chance of mirroring each other. in other words, if someone is happy and starts to laugh and goof around with another, the emotions will mirror that other person subconsciously. like an addictive laugh. theres also another way to show mirroring, which is to mimic another person's actions, allowing another to establish a sense of empathy and thus begin to understand another person's emotions. in this case, im using TA and karkat as example. people who suppress emotions tend to see emotions as a bad sign and if somebody else portrayed any sign of it as well, they’ll basically say “gross what are you doing” because theyre so used to concealing it away, that they dont want others to think theyre into the whole mushy shit. so they pretend to hate it, pretend to not even be slightly affected by general sensitivity..

which basically means karkat is a softie, and even if he’s a prick right now, meeee thinks john, from earlier convos, is growing on him because john himself knows how emotions work and while i dont think troll culture does know much about it, considering the BLOOD AND CARNAGE thing, he is in fact growing and even if thats obvious, and you all know it, i am new to homestuck and am trying to see that for myself. its noticeable to some degree. he may always still be a jerk, but i am waiting to see how he slowly starts to accept things around him and to finally show what hes hiding inside. even if its just going up by a few percentages, i see its there and im hoping VERY HOPING he has the biggest character growth!

in other words, why else do i think this?? well nobody who watches romcoms can be that fucking aggressive. you need some sap in you to like it.

on that note, ill probably analyze alternia’s system and rules in another post later throughout these next few sessions because i feel it needs to be talked about and the way everything just.. is so different and doesnt seem right, you know?

thats it for now goodnight

[y01te-moved]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

i almost cant even count how many this is but im doing every single one anyways and you cant stop me despite the fact that this obviously took me ages to actually answer

1: if ur reading this ur legally obligated to follow max (sender of this ask) Right Now. Just Do It.

2: i think more ppl with my sense of humor should watch Spider Riders bc listen..  if somewhere along the line that show suddenly gained more popularity again in this fine year of 2019 id be both actually funny for once but also revolutionary. by all technicalities some of my hcs are fucking great but i dont think i could say a lot of them and even be comprehensible outside of orientation based ones that are just rlly controversial. granted im not even sure i could or would actually recommend the show to people cause its kinda dumb a lot of the time and also fairly long at least to my standards so its harder to finish unless ur like really invested in it :pensive:

3: also on that note the next time a horny person even THINKS about Corona im Going to break into their home and then break their knees. i hate that she has so much fanart thats basically just fetish art or otherwise managing to be nsfw in some way shes like 15 at best fuck off!! its rlly only a problem on like. deviantart but it still makes me die inside.

4: character development is hard i never actually keep my ideas and what i have written down on like.  my actual bios for everyone on the same pace so its a confusing mess and i wish i was better at combating that

5: anon and kanon r such good loids i wish people used them more but i think a part of the problem is that i dont always look That hard for things that use them ahdbsadgashdj

6: alex is the best sdv bachelor and im not accepting criticism on that notion. 2nd best would probably be like..  sam except i havent tried hard enough to be friends with him yet which i feel bad abt bc he seems nice

7: i miss the cracking open a cold one with the boys meme that was still one of my favorites

8: (goes BACK to thinking about SR shdfjds) the anime had no right having like so many characters base their ideals off of how brade used to be in the past and all those good takes on like not necessarily Having to resort to violence as the ultimate solution and all that good stuff just to be like, “surprise!! he actually IS still around! but also he’s going to be minimally helpful at all until the last few episodes and otherwise we’re going to make a ton of gags about him trying to hit on the like 2 girls in the team who are also like 15 while he ignores practically everyone else because thats funny!” im still so mad about it. he is the absolute worst and he has no rights. there was also so much potential they seemed like they could have used and were trying to hint at using in terms of further developing more important details about the history of the inner world or at least some of the things that had been going on well before hunter ever showed up and then they didn’t do anything but hint at the idea of brade having known hunter’s grandfather. but even that wasn’t 100% confirmed bc they dodged around it the one time they had hunter ask. its a mess.

9: my taste is so fucking weird and i hate it bc its mostly just, “oh yeah i heard abt this thing and it seems cool im hoping to start getting into it soon!” for most things that are actually cool or popular or all that and never actually get into it, but then i see smth dumb as shit that i know would probably make me look like an absolute fool for liking and im like, “oh yeah yknow what i can do this one” and then i do like it but i cant say much about it either cause i dont wanna look like.   a fool.

10: these have been depressing as fuck so im gonna lighten the mood and say that himbo is a fucking hilarious word and i love it

11: also axel (kh) is a himbo. why? he just is.

12: im also bad at character design i think bc i always worry that my characters look too similar in terms of hair style like all the time and idk if its rlly that bad or not jfhgkf.  that and like. so many of my characters just wear jeans and boots in terms of the lower half of their body its so unoriginal but it always works so well…

13: still disappointed in myself for having never 100%’d even 1 tlodw game. lunatic mode.. Difficult

14: i dont keep up with ace attorney fans but i hope everyone out there agrees that miles has peak vampire energies based on the way he dresses alone

15: re:zero fans have no rights only bc i only ever see ppl talking abt rem and ram like. wh..   was no one ever going to tell me about reinhard or was i just supposed to watch him get introduced in the first few eps and then fall in love w/him immediately before even finding out hes supposed to be a knight which makes him 20x better

16: leon and/or leonhart is like genuinely a good name idk why it just sounds rlly nice

17: ive had like so many technical difficulties with this site since trying to answer this i hate tumblr

18: im pretty sure im like. genuinely just gonna go mute or some shit one day cause honestly ive mostly only ever gotten worse and worse about not actually being able to say things even when i know exactly what thought im trying to say, both physically and like. online. its so weird i feel like i just cant say things. it may just be being self conscious but i restrict myself soo heavily and its WEIRD….  its like being trapped in ur thoughts and it sucks.  probably doesnt even actually mean all that much but it still makes it hard for me to accomplish anything ever which i hate.

19: despite all the titles like ssbu and all that existing for the switch i think id only want one to play the new(er) inside system games i havent had the chance to yet like the spinoff card game and rudymical and also brave dungeon but w/neville and klinsy and whoever else was dlc on that game cause obviously i own the 3ds port but also neville..  good…  i wanna see how she plays..

20: i miss when i could be passionate abt cave story it just makes me feel tired seeing it sometimes at this point but it also still holds a great significance to me so its just confusing and im not sure how i feel abt it

21: the SR novels were cowards only on account of not giving us any official design for petra but also for writing igneous like.  That.  novelverse igneous is just too bitter in general and like i get it but they couldve done a lot more with him even though he is still somewhat respectable in the end, granted its hard cause like holy shit hes so fucking mean to hunter literally who asked for that. im just glad the anime let him be somewhat more idk..  i guess sociable while still keeping a lot of the inherently essential aspects his personality had like his almost over the top loyalty to the prince and taking things like training/combat in general very seriously. its just good and animeverse igneous is so good id die for him thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[jambud-universe]

The description is related to the drawing but you dont have to read it if you just want to enjoy the piece. 💜

If you remember sometime last year, I made a similar drawing to this and I vented about the same topic, I got too personal and I wanted to redeem myself and try again.

If you don’t know, I believe Steven and Connie are heterosexual,(hence the black and white which resembles heterosexuality. I love black and white and like to think of it as a yin-yang thing) they’re in a straight relationship and I don’t see a reason for them to change or be with anyone else, it’d kinda ruin what they stand for: simple and strong young love.

Due to my mental instability i get angry often and I wan’t to apologize if i hurt anyone’s feelings if you read it. It is very hard for me to find interest in something, and like it for long. Connverse is a rare exception. I love simple childhood friendship/romances, and its very hard to find one thats well made and not forced. I myself, am straight so I find a male/female relationship more relatable, comfortable and more attracting personally. It’s a rare sanctuary I have in an otherwise chaotic world all around. It makes me happy, which is rare for me.

To be clear, I have nothing against the gay community, I’ve no reason to. I don’t really make friends easily but I do put personality first, sexuality, and background arent the thing i search for primarily.  However, everyday on this site I am faced with heterophobia (yes, its a thing. i experience it) and straight people getting picked at for no apparent reason, or just speaking out. I just find labels pointless if they just divide people. I know the gay community has gone through a lot of shit, but I’m speaking through my side, that doesnt have a voice because we get laughed at for existing on this site basically. I just think if you want acceptance, you should accept people, even if they think something else. because we’re all people, our only difference is labels. Everyone hates the idea of heterosexual appreciation (i’ve looked it up, it was all mocking and abusive relationship stereotypes). So i can’t do shit. I’d at least like an alliance day, where we are informed and celebrated for who we are. I’ve heard of the straight-gay alliance, i’m all for it, i just wish i saw more of it. Whenever I go on any tags for things I like (particularly straight pairings) , i get shoved with people trying to make it queer, it’s not a problem but whats the point?

I love that steven and connie are straight, i think it’s what we need. we have a lot of talk of including gay characters (and there are gay couples in modern cartoons, which is great)  but that doesn’t mean we should make straight people into stereotypes. allow kids to see examples of healthy straight relationships, they’re more than real. whether they are gay, straight or whatever they shouldnt be raised to see all straight people are abusive and don’t feel real love in cartoons. It’d lead to fear and discomfort of someone if they’re straight, and they may feel insecure if they are straight themselves. Straight and Gay people are exactly the same, and equal. we should have both of them showing love out there!

Anyways, theres my thoughts. I hope I did better this time and that I seemed more in-tact. Thank you so much for reading, please be safe and remember that you are loved. 

💜💜

[the-rxven-king]

@the anon i just got 

im not gonna post your ask because it feels like a private thing especially since you were on anon so i have no better way to say this to you and you trusted me enough to tell me what you did and im glad you had the courage to actually tell someone that kinda thing, even if it was just me, and i didnt want it to go without a response so... yea. this post is for you and p much only you so you can read under the cut and hopefully no one else will... since you were on anon this is the best i can do

first things first anon ill just go ahead and say thank you for having the courage to speak up and trust me? i mean im.... honestly not the best person to go to for this because as far as im aware im just a random dude on the internet to you idk if i know you at all but that you said anything at all to anyone takes guts and im glad you said something. keeping quiet is a hell i know well.

second thing: im sorry you feel the way you do. no one deserves to feel like theyre worthless. you have worth, i know you do, and thinking you are is really shitty. its a harsh thing to label yourself as, though. hopefully this doesnt sound preachy, but everyone has worth. you have worth. sometimes the problem is just not seeing it, not being able to reach it or find it. it feels like youre not worth anything, but you are. no matter how long it takes you to find out you have worth, you have so much. its there. in times like the ones youre going through it seems like thats impossible but youre worth something. if you hold on long enough youll find it. 

i dont want you to be killed, i know that for sure. you have worth to me, if that helps at all. im sure there are plenty of people who wouldnt want you to be gone, and before you can tell yourself otherwise, its true. there are people who care for you, there are. i promise you there are people who would hate to see you gone (again, not sure how much this helps, but i am one of those people).

i dont know if this is possible for you, because i dont fully know your current situation, or if you already have access to these things and im unaware because asks are small and you didnt give me this information, but if youre able please look into seeing a therapist. it could be beneficial to you and give you someone to talk to about these kinds of things aside from a teenage boy on the internet.... my inbox and pms are always open, of course, but it would be much better to go to a professional who can help you work through these feelings you have than just me. if this is something youve tried before and it didnt work, i encourage you to give it another shot, with someone new a fresh mindset. 

its not good to feel this way as im sure you know. its a dark, dark place to be, and i really hope you can pull your way out of it. youve got a whole life ahead of you to live, and no matter how long it takes, i hope it improves and you can find your worth and live life freely. life is like a roller coaster, not the best roller coaster since its kinda slow, but its a roller coaster for sure. roller coasters have their ups and downs, twists and turns, loops and falls, and right now your car is at a low point. at some point its going to go back up, but itll take time. it wont happen over night, it might seem like itll never happen, but ive never been on a roller coaster that never came back up. youll be ok, and everything will be ok. you arent worthless, and you are cared for, and youll be ok.

i wish there was more i could do for you, and i hope none of this came off wrong or preachy in any sense.... if it did, i apologize. i really do hope you feel better soon, anon, and please take care of yourself. you are important. sending you all my love and support through the internet along with a hug because it seems like you need one, and i wish i could give you one. and thank you again for trusting me with that. its hard to talk about those things.

[yvvaine]

I was wondering if any [past or present] Jonerys, Pro-Daenerys fans like myself feel this way.....?

Firstly Id say please be nice i just enjoy analyzing the shit out of fandoms I like, (im a history/polysci major ((with an emphasis on Peace Justice and & Conflict Studies)) all i do is analyze and try to be diplomatic lmao) but considering all they petty drama between both ships as well as pro/anti Daenerys stans ON BOTH SIDES I’m going to be “That Person” and at least ask for people to be respectful/civil, I want to hear from everyone and their metas/what they think which is why i tagged like, all the tags, no matter if you love her/the ship or cant stand it, as long as everyone can keep civil So firstly I’ve loved Dany both books and show from the beginning. She’s gorgeous, wants to be the best person she can be, and her hair/fashion style game is always ON POINT.  That being said, somewhere around season 5 i think i’ve found my opinion on her cooling a little bit, ep after ep, till now. Like I still like her bc she was my first character love on the show but I’ve def soured in my opinion on her. Maybe it’s because I love learning about the subject that im more baised (im hoping thats the case) but she just seemed to have no interest in actual governance, just the reputation (esp of being the ‘rebel queen’)/the awe/the power/the thrill of the adoration that went along with it to the point where I feel like though she still wants to be a ‘good queen’ or at least wants to be seen that way, she doesnt want to do much work for the title. Like yeah she freed all the slaves and that was a def progressive and awesome move on her part (major props! slavery is sin and im glad someone recognized that who had the power to do something about it) but she didnt handle that aftermath or ensuing problems well at all nor really mulled heavily on the subject to find the best solution. She just got fustrated with pretty basic/common (albeit complex in themselves) issues of standard governance and kind of went agh! fuck this! (obv not actual quotes but that was the vibe I got). And then ESPECIALLY after season 7 her character has kind of nagged at me in the back of brain which i hate but its inherent like its just a feeling i cant help it?? I just dont know why to be honest that Im feeling so negative towards this character i used to love.  The whole ‘ bEnD thE knEe ‘ thing w/ Jon and yet pinning it on Jon’s pride not equally on his and her own was more than a little hypocritical, when hon they can discuss it later like at that point they have two common enemies the WW and Cersei they both want to do away with, and then again with the Bend the Knee or Die bit w/ the Lannister soldiers. In fact the whole sequence before that point felt kind of villinous I dearsay, I mean  deliberately burning the harvest that most of westeros needs for the winter or even strategically not willing to try, and well, nOOt intentionally burn the food considering its winter, the harvest is over (so likely not much is gonna grow in the time being) when she has a G I A N T ass army of her own to think of feeding???? Like i get it is war shit happens soldiers die but the F O O D ? Was that an impuslive in the moment mistake or did she just not give a fuck? And back to the aftermath scene/Bend the Knee 2.0, her speech was again quite hypocritical...and burning dickon?????? not willing to keep prisoners???? either bend or die??? I actually am glad she did away with Papa Tarly bc he was an awful human, but dickon????? a young idealistic man about to loose his father??? the heir to a major ally/house???? And honestly that bend or die strategy is soooooo dumb bc now she cant trust any of them like theyre only bending the knee out of self preservation homie, no one wants to die. they bend  the knee to survive and now they all of the sudden think youre their queen? Nah fam, prisoners were better, all you got are spies in your camps or people willing to backstab you at the smallest promise of coin. And i dont want that for my girl

IDK the whole “im gonna BREAK THE WHEEL,,,,,,,,yet im stating my claim mainly on my housename (aka the predominant force of said wheel for a literal dynasty) and the fact that i can scare people who otherwise are unconvinced bc lets be real westeros has had a bad run of rulers a lot of which were Targs in the past couple decades, into submission bc ill burn you otherwise???” doesnt sit well with me nor does it feel like the character ive been rooting for the past five-ish seasons. She just doesnt seem to put into effort on understanding Westeros, why things go wrong, being self-critical or sharing the blame,thinking on what a “good” ruler would do.... anyone else feeling this way and if so do you think this is just shitty writing? D&D butchering her character? or a new arc for her? perhaps the way shes always been? She just seems like a tantruming child bratty and entitled idk (a beautiful child but still)  As for jonerys...... im not gonna go into it much but how are other shippers happy????????? I honestly dont understand. I was SO looking forward to this season/this ship. like so much! But it felt so forced? And i know a lot of people claim its cause its rushed but tbh we’ve had a lot of romances in a similar time frame that felt like A C T U A L romances.....even Talisa/Robb who the Northerners will prob compare any of this too were so much better. THIS WAS MY EPIC SHIP DUDE. I feel the dany side of things (took a while but theres def heart eyes) and yet Jon???? He felt hollow. Still does even after sex. Im so disapointed but more than that I cant see the romance or the chemistry. He looks constipated. Hes never smiled like with his teeth around her the way hes done w others he cares deepily about (ygritte, toramund, sansa, even fkin gendry in the first scene they had together). He never reveals anything about himself. And between the “my queen” ep (and remember he was look warm when discussing her to toramund throughout it) and the previous the only thing that changed was that he saw the actual difference dragons made against WW. You could argue she saved them all too but that doesnt make you fall in love w someone out of the blue and also people have saved his ass before and??? Sansa w the vale anyone??? (Not an argument for jonsa js its happened) (though ill admit ive transitioned to loathing jonerys and loving jonsa more as a potential couple in the space of seven eps where if you asked me I wouldve been like PSH u cray. I never thought it would happen in a mill years but D&D ruined my ship and here i am! Shipping aside tho since its best too look at these things as neutral as possible).  Anyways the sigh of his after she left and when he pretended to be asleep.... idk. The only scene that felt genuine and where Jon smiled and it didnt look like a full on grimace and they actually kinda joked around was really nice and at the pit at the finale and if they do a LOT more of basic romance stuff like that I could ship it again but. It was followed by boatsex and boy.  I was hoping boatsex might rekindle my like for the two together. I could see the chemistry the passion. I was hoping the passion would overwhelm me and make up for the rest. But instead......like there was no foreplay, it lasted 2 seconds, and it was overplayed by brans voice and a reminder of future conflict or at the very least major angst b/w the two. i didnt see the parallel between regear and lyanna playing alongside their scene as anything romantic or that it should be taken as such. and the look they shared.... I was hoping jon would bring it bc Dany’s look in her eyes is like soooo smitten and adorable and say what you will I still have a space in my heart for her and still dont want her to suffer, but again Jon looks like oh shit/constipated. And not in a good oh shit way either.  There is a bunch more too but Imma stop there bc Im just tired at this point.  So many things were just....off this season. And it cant all be blamed on the “rushed” time frame. I’ve read the undercover lover theory and hon it makes the most sense (not perfect sense but still, more than what we’ve been poorly spoon fed) but im not willing to believe it just yet. Still, maybe D&D are just butchering a lot of things like making the romance believable and stuff for the sake of time that could be true i guess. But they like to go AHA GOT U so  Idk I dont find a lot of meta in the jonerys tag bc honestly (((((i think its bc the tag and ship are more popular and theirs more people both good and bad)))) it doesnt seem like snowballing theories is something all fans take really well in the tag at all. But whatever. I really want to know, is there any meta or theories im missing to either validate the icky feeling Im haveing about D or her “romance” or on the flipside anything that might make me change my mind about it? Theories, meta people! I just want to reiderate im not trying to hate on anyone or any point of view and I will flag any comment anti one ship or person or another if its plain hateful or rude. I just want to understand it and see what Im missing, esp because of how much I was looking forward to her arc and jonerys’ dynamic and how much the words “falling short” dont seem to cover it. And to see if im not the only one to either have critique on the ship or her character [or even actually change ships] Also i apologize for how much ive said “IDK” i just..... I DONT KNOW 

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE FOUR

“ ‘something will be unleashed’ are u gonna start KILLING PEOPLE??” - saira

HOH: Nick UPSIDE DOWN: Emma & Kiki NOMINEES: Monty & Saira POV: Jev FINAL NOMINEES: Monty & Saira EVICTED: Saira (1-0)

JOSH C

well, we just voted out GINA and i'm feeling some kind of way about it. i feel like the push to save emma was VERY quick and i think there are a lot of alliances going on that i'm not involved in which is FINE but it's just something i need to watch out for. i know i talk with almost everyone constantly so i think i'll be okay for this week, but i'm just worried about the people that i enjoy.

a lot of people have said they don't talk to saira or brianna so i wouldn't be shocked to see them both go up, which is FINE i guess but i enjoy both. i don't want saira to leave at all but i don't think she has as GOOD of a social standing as brianna does. which is worrisome because i know this is her first game so she doesn't have any pre-existing relationships to save her which is.. not ideal.

i'm finding things a BIT frustrating because i have to navigate not ONLY game thoughts but people's pre-game relationships. not that i'm knocking anyone for them but almost everyone i've talked to says they don't talk to monty but they wouldn't want to see him nominated. i just don't FULLY understand why we can't nominate him but they're friends with him so he's a bit UNTOUCHABLE. i might push it anyways because he's the only person i don't really talk to anymore. WHO KNOWS.

i've felt like a deflated balloon for most of today so maybe i'll just go with the flow on this but i need to make sure i'm not just voting out all the people who will be votes for me later on. 

ARIA

Im small, bitter, and very angry...but spite is the best motivator and im going to use it to win this season. Anyways i miss saira im SICK of trusting nicks, i see a nick i FLOOR IT!!! I refuse to have a nick fuck me over in a game again i am so over it. But hehe anyways lets get into the info spilling section real fast and then i can analyze because my position has drastically changed from last time-

also sorry for repeated info but sometimes i forget things or people say it again so..

-nathan leaked "all" his alliances to me (Screensht is cut weird i think theres one he cut off)

-Jacob found out my gina connection

-perfect voting record is dead (told jacob i voted out gina tho idk why hehe)

-kiki-joey connection 

-emma knows about bri's backups because jake leaked it to her before he left

-josh c IS EVERYWHERE

-nick says they havent talked to bri

-nick likes jev

-nick wants (more so wants others) to take a shot at kiki/nash

-nick said nathan is a wildcard 

-joshua nommed monty and nash

-STOP UNDERESTIMATING JOSHUA

-told josha jacob is protecting him

-joey exposed saira's deal to me and bri

-joey wants a larger alliance

-bri said they like nick,,,but that conflicts earlier info so im thinking peer pressure or just bri is too sweet for this cast and i adore her-

-bri told nathan her noms

-nathan hates bri and for wHAT??

-jacob has a dpov and used it to cement a f2,, AND DID THE SAME THING WITH BRI FFS 

-jacob scared of nick and jev

-kiki and nash tell everything to jacob

-jacob said emma and joey have a connection??

-jacob thinks nick is gonna join the emma jev joey side (his words)

-jacob thinks monty is a threat

-jacob ranked the players in tiers as follows: 

A kiki jev bri

B joey joshua nathan

d: nash saira monty

-bri talks a lot with kiki and josh c

-told bri about the trio between jacob kiki and nash

-joey told me yesterday he wants to win,,,but then just said to take him out

-planting seeds against joey to bri

-jacob wants to bring dpov up with alliance at f10

-joshua and jacob were shook saira was evicted

-told jacob that joey asked to throw

-jev and jacob are getting closish

-jacob is so threaten by nick

-jacob told bri that nathan doesnt like her

-

and thats where im at currently. Lots of options and lots of interconnections I have to navigate but i think im gonna be fine for the time being which makes it super easy to just be complacent and float my way to jury BUT!!! I want to try setting myself up well where i dont get clocked at f9/10 and wabam im out. Im trying to set people against each other subtly but honestly i think im overestimating myself here but at least i know im safe. I mean for now im trying to set up this side of jev emma joshua to at least form together as a group but im STRUGGLING i might just have to settle for them keeping each other safe without a solid alliance ig. At the same time I think i really have two actives pieces of info im working with which is emma knowing about bri's backups and then me and bri knowing about jacob's dpov.

So i think what I want to happen is that Jacob wants to dpov nick out at f10 so i'll let that happen probably which puts a huge target on jacobs back, idk if its anon but if it is ill make sure bri leaks it kinda framing it in a "if you leak it and i pretend to not know i can analyze how other people respond so we'll know what everyone thinks" and once jacob leaves emma can leak the bri's angels (which should be weaker at this point since jacob is the glue that holds it together a bit) which #1 makes a bunch of good players house targets and then forces those people to solidly stick together as well. Not sure how im gonna play both sides but,,,,if i can play it off kinda like i did in pasio somehow maybe i'll be fine but who knows. Either way im here to have fun (and hopefully win for gina/saira)

WELL WELL!!! just did a vc with jacob, he decided to take matters into his own hands and be totally cracked and now thinks nick/monty/nathan are a side,,,,which,,,,idk yall nathan did show me all of his alliances and none of them were that but who am i to stop jacob from making himself a target by leading this charge against them uwu. I do need to be more proactive about leaking tho but im not sure how im gonna work that. Also im not sure if i want nick/monty/nathan all gone, i can live with monty gone bc they probably think i nommed them and might want revenge but also nick and nathan are kinda cute numbers for me,,, 

I mean idk because at this point i have a game relationship with mostly everyone left in this game and im just not sure which path i need to take to get to the end yet and its kindaaa stressing me out a little bit. I can feel myself starting to drop in peoples trust rankings a little bit and god its kinda annoying how jacob has this game wrapped around his finger, however i dont need to be in a dominant position this entire game i believe in myself!! I got this easy peasy!!! 

JEV

My reverse psychology paid off and I won the veto so I'm loving that for me, I'm not going to be using it because I'd preferably like to see Monty leave because I just... never see them and I think Saira is much more deserving of her place here than Monty is. It's frustrating that Monty is cruising through this game so easily because we haven't spoken to eachother since day one, and they haven't even bothered to come and speak to me to campaign for me to use the veto. Like, do you want to be here or not?

Thinking about it more, I'm super happy I won the power of veto. I managed to ensure myself and those I'm closest to in this game weren't going to be named as renom and kept Monty up there as a final nom, which I'm worried otherwise wouldn't happen during this game since people seem either threatened by Monty OR a little over-eager to keep him around in this game, which annoys me but whatever. I just hope whoever wins HOH has the balls to make the right decision, better to get him gone now rather than later.

JEV

So I think I've had a little bit of a brainwave/breakthrough. This is gonna be longwinded so hear me out.

Apparently from what I've heard, the nominations this week were revealed in order of who recieved the least to the most nominations from every

one. This is extremely interesting to me, as I've taken note that Nick, Aria, Jacob & Brianna were 10th-8th in the rankings of votes respectively.

First of all, I haven't made secret that I think something is going on with the Pasio alumni. This was highlighted when I was asking around for what people were doing for nominees, and from everyone I heard Saira/Monty, but from two people I heard Saira, Nash, Joey & Monty -- with Monty strategically placed last in the ranking, to give the illusion his name was the least uttered. Funnily enough, the two people I heard this format of the names were Nick and Aria who just happen to be Pasio alumni... interesting, right?

So looking at the ranking, I'm thinking "okay so they obviously didn't do eachother, and with Nash/Joey in 3rd and 4th respectively, they must've not expected so many votes on Monty and didn't plan accordingly, and so split the votes too much and didn't have enough to put up Nash or Joey over Monty. So I'm thinking, I know there's a connection between Jacob and Monty because I used to play orgs with them on Skype. Jacob used the veto on Brianna last week, this has brought me to the conclusion that Monty, Nick, Brianna, Jacob & Aria are working together with the possibility that Josh C is either playing both sides or is fully with them too, hence why he recieved the least votes.

That places Myself, Emma, Kiki, Nash, Joshua, Joey & Saira on the outside, and Nathan too as I'm guessing he's strayed from their alliance and/or wishing to work with them, hence why he recieved 5th most votes. 

I'd love to make an alliance with this group of people, but it's still only pre-jury and I don't want to be seen as playing too hard too soon.

(cont.) So I initially wasn't going to go for this HOH, but I feel like I need to because I can't trust anybody else to make the move to take Monty out, and I'd rather see their numbers thinned sooner rather than later. It would paint me as their #1 target for next week probably, but if someone I trusted won HOH next week then I could go to the upside down and not have to worry about it.

JEV

Yes again I'm so sorry, another thing that was interesting to me was that I mentioned to Aria that I was close with Emma, and she asked for an alliance with the 3 of us almost immediately after, stating that she was also "very interested" in working with Emma too. This tells me she's the mole and wanted the alliance to try and get intel from us, I don't believe for a second she did Saira/Monty along with me and Emma at all, which is why myself and Emma are hesitant to say too much in that alliance chat. So I like Aria, but I don't trust her as far as I can throw her.

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL__dyRaq2E&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=5&t=0s

[comicteaparty]

March 4th-March 10th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from March 4th, 2019 to March 10th, 2019.  The chat focused on O Sarilho by shizamura.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on O Sarilho by shizamura~! (http://sarilho.net/en/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until March 10th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. What do you think happened to the ancient people who left their satellites and other lost technology behind? Will the people of the present be able to recover this technology as they strive to do? Alternatively, are they going to find out secrets better left forgotten?

Capitania do Azar

Howdy everyone! I'm Shizamura and I'm the creator of O Sarilho and I'm very excited

varethane

I love all the scenes with the augur

it's such a creepy concept but the way they all handle it as being totally mundane and normal is gr8

Kaldra

agreed ^

varethane

also, the initial scene with the alien waking up, as the eyes light up and then gradually focus before the thing starts moving-- chilling. I love it.

Capitania do Azar

Augur is just a regular job for these guys, he

March 5, 2019

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Who or what are Argon and Xenon, the gods in the comic’s world? What do you think their original purpose was? Why do you think only Augur’s can deal with them?

RebelVampire

1) the scene where nikita realizes mikhail is, umm, not going to be joining him for anymore adventures. i liked this scene for two reasons. a-the framing was really great because it was fairly normal. like hes injured, of course hed be resting and of course nikita would have to shake him. no reason to suggest anything is off at first until it was all off. b- the pacing was also great. like everything was pretty speedy and then just wham, its like everything got halted for that beautiful moment of horrible realization. A+ adventure retirement scene. 2) I think the ancient people did what all dumb humans do: war against each other until they destroyed themselves. partly cause that be what humans do, partly cause the sense of war in the story seems very ancient and ingrained and i just get the feeling this has existed for longer than anyone can remember. i think eventually they will recover a lot of tech, but i also think theyre going to find out the true price that tech kind of comes at. and that the universe is more than their brains are ready to accept or comprehend.

3) Franquelim. I find him interesting and just in general I like his portrayal. Like you don't even need to know his job to take one look at him and go "this is the weird employee who doesnt fit in and is potentially hated by his superiors despite probably being good at his job." and to me, that makes him a lot of fun. i think he also adds some shenanigans to an otherwise serious and grounded group. and everyone needs some shenanigans in their life. 4) I want to assume Argon and Xenon are AI's that were created in order to advocate for the prosperity of humanity. Granted, probably damaged AIs or incomplete ones since they don't know everything there is to know. As for why only Augurs, I assume its as it was implied: only they can understand them. Which want to go on a limb and say maybe no because magic? It might just be Augurs got the right studying. Like they learned how to read C++ while everyone else only got taught Ruby.

Capitania do Azar

Ah @RebelVampire , these are all very interesting guesses!

varethane

....Franquelim is my favourite too LOL(edited)

Capitania do Azar

He's apparently a fan favourite I suppose it makes sense, he does have a strong personality!

varethane

he stands out in all the scenes he's in

Capitania do Azar

he loves the camera

stealing the show

snuffysam

I'm on team Franquelim as well

like he's just chillin

plus he's one of the few who (rationally) wanted to avoid getting ambushed by the lusitanians

daria is also a fav of mine too though

just, cuz... look at her. every scene she's in she's got the stage presence of someone who just tied a teammate's shoes together

RebelVampire

yeah i have to agree part of the reason i like franquelim is despite his shenanigans, he also is kind of the most grounded in the way. the dude who is like "maybe we shouldnt get ambushed." the dude whos like "hey maybe we should call for backup given the circumstances." he is the beautiful voice of reason in a world gone mad.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. How do you think Nikita came to be a “slave” of the Empire, and what else happened that makes him so sensitive about the topic of his past? Will Nikita be able to overcome this obstacle of his life?

5) http://sarilho.net/en/arquivo/comic/ch03p06 This page in its entirety. The contrast here is fantastic between the clean and normal art and the chaotic presence of the piece of god. It's also a fantastic demonstration of pushing the page and website capabilities to bring about a specific feeling, in this case uneasiness and horror. I also like this illustration because it's very well suited to the dialogue. Franquelim is trying to express his ardent belief they need help and this is beyond them. And this sort of illustration really helps connect you to his concerns because you can see with the imagery why he is freaked out. Thus, emotionally it connects you stronger with his emotional state in this moment and scream "YES YES GET THE HELP GET THE HELP." So all in all, I think this illustration has great contrast, pushes the envelope, and does what I think an illustration should do in a comic: make itself so both the story and illustration are needed together to create the full effect.

Capitania do Azar

Frank has had his share of battles and he's not keen to get into newer ones

Steffano knows that if they are caught (or bring an army in), war is bound to happen (again) and he's got his own selfish reasons for not wanting that. He's also not a particularly experienced leader and has trouble making these kind of decisions

The rest of the team kinda reflects what the empire thinks of itself, as Mikhail puts it "we're better trained, we have better resources and we're more talented". That attitude gotta interfere with decision-making as well

RebelVampire

at least mikhail is "retired" now and can no longer preach that sort of thinking? XD

Capitania do Azar

LOOK WHERE THAT SORT OF THINKING TOOK HIM

They're army kids, it's not like they ever had any change of thinking in other terms

Doesn't change the fact that MISTAKES WERE MADE

RebelVampire

6) Maybe some sort of empire betrayal? Like their dad got found guilty of a bad crime or something. As for his sensitivity, I honestly just think it stems from the fact he wants to move on and create his own path and life. And it doesn't help when everyone keeps reminding you and asking questions. That and if he doesnt talk about it, he doesnt have to face the reality himself. As for overcoming the obstacle, I don't feel it'll be solved in a tangible way? More I just feel like the bigger fish that need frying are going to dominant and more and more ppl will just stop caring. Cause again, bigger fish.

Capitania do Azar

ahha I guess people do remind him of that fact a LOT, I never really looked at it that way

what the other soldiers say about Nikita is right for the most part: he does keep a lot to himself and the part where he clearly can't control a lot of things in his life is a point of stress he'd rather ignore(edited)

(I hope I can bring up in the following chapter just how much he internalized his own social situation to the point that he almost forgets that other people can quit their jobs if they so desire)

mangalho

QUESTION wapy can you do a corno/not-corno alignment chart with your cast?

Capitania do Azar

didn't I do that already rsrsr

mangalho

did you????

Capitania do Azar

wait

keep up mango https://twitter.com/Shizamura/status/1096141513514536960

capitania dos azares (@Shizamura)

@Ulisaypo

mangalho

finally

Delphina

Gahhhh, just finished reading, such a good comic! I really liked Shizuka, even though she stayed behind (which turned out to be a SUPER GOOD CALL BECAUSE HOLY DANG). She seems fun, though!

mangalho

How the FUCK is Pimenta in the Corno area @Delphina SAME shizuka is good and also really relatable

Delphina

Daria's scene around the car (http://sarilho.net/en/arquivo/comic/p032) is my favorite fun scene because I love her whole-hearted quest to torment Timoteo. My favorite serious scene is where Mikhail gets his arm shot off because it was such a shocking transition between "here's a squad of kids making jokes and bickering" to "oh shit oh shit oh shit they are in so much trouble for so many reasons" (http://sarilho.net/en/arquivo/comic/ch02p29)

Capitania do Azar

Daria takes self-assigned clown job very seriously!

snuffysam

5) my favorite illustrations in the comic so far have been this page: http://sarilho.net/en/arquivo/comic/oh-nao and the page following it. not necessarily because of the drawing quality itself (these are good, but there's a couple better), but because of how the emotions are conveyed through the pages literally falling apart.

RebelVampire

the page was too strong and murdered my comp with lag XD

i really liked that page too tho

especially the angle

i think the angle really helps express like a sort of feeling of distance

like in the sense youre no longer connected with a person

Capitania do Azar

OMG maybe I should drop the resolution a bit hehe

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What do you think happened in Franquelim’s past that has him so terrified of being captured by the Lusitanians “again?” How might this affect his judgement in whatever situations are to come?

ShaRose49

Gah I didn’t realize this had started already I only barely got past the prologue! Really nice art and lots of character profiles

Delphina

The character profiles are SO HELPFUL, I also appreciate the role call at the end of the last two chapters.

Capitania do Azar

eheh I really like coming up with silly descriptions for characters, so figures it's a good idea to add them

ShaRose49

I just made my first character profile sheet a couple days ago and it’s not as in-depth as this one

Capitania do Azar

It's not that hard! I make most of my characters by making up a number of random facts, which eventually become the text

The stats are mostly out of comparison like this character is more talented than this one, but also slower..and so on

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserve attention?

QUESTION 10. What is the strange entity that Nikita and company discover, and what do you think its purpose is? Also, is it really a piece of God somehow? What implications do you think that has for the story in general, especially given Lusitanian involvement?

RebelVampire

7) Well I did enjoy seeing Nikita and Mikhail. I found their dynamic to be interesting due to the contrast. they were just both very different ppl who viewed themselves differently, viewed the empire sort of differently, viewed their place in the empire differently, etc. This kind of made their conversations really insightful into getting two diff perspectives on "the way things are." its too bad mikhail retired. 8) I assume torture at best, hardcore torture at worst. Though for him torture might have consisted of just keeping him eternally connected to god? cause thats be torturous info overload that probably wouldve hurt a lot. As for affecting his judgement, I def think he's the most likely to do something stupid based on it. Like do some drastic thing like set off a bomb just so he doesnt have to get caught again.

9) I want to say i really love the more rampant use of narrative boxes that specify the location in the most recent chapter. TBH, I really struggled to follow the second chapter because the transitions were hard to catch just cause matching uniforms. So in the third chapter this helped out immensely and i think its a detail that deserves to be appreciated. 10) If I stick with my Argon and Xenon are just AIs theory, then yeah, its probably a piece of god. A piece that got disconnected from the network but was original like some waypoint for vast interstellar communication. As for its purpose, I don't think it has one. I think it's gone bonkers cause being disconnected from teh core has made it unable to access primarydirective.exe. As for implications, I think it's going to spark a war at the rate things are devolving. even if nikita and then somehow disappear into the night, the lusitanians are clearly hiding something that cant stay hidden forever.

Capitania do Azar

Your theories are very interesting @RebelVampire!

Also I really appreciate that you enjoy Mikhail's and Nikita's relationship

Capitania do Azar

Mikhail's got a lot less pressure on him, so he gets to be more chill about some things (but not all the things, since he snapped at Dária anyways)

snuffysam

yeah i think you're spot on with the AI theory, rebel. if I may make a prediction - i'm thinking that once this specific incident is over, not only will a war break out, but nikita will be put into action against his will 'cause he never catches a break(edited)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What do you think the Lusitanian Eurico wants to talk to Nikita about (or is it a ruse to fight some more)? How might the subsequent events affect the mission further?

Delphina

I think Eurico's goal is probably just to get this squad out of their lands. I expect some level of "you don't know what you're dealing with trying to interact with this God-level technology, so leave now or you're seriously going to get hurt" conversation.

Delphina

Regarding strengths and unique points, O Sarilho's very good at establishing extremely human-feeling characters very quickly. I like the fact that I know Nikita likes astronomy. I like the fact that Daria, Pfeiffer, and Timoteo have a dynamic and history of teasing each other. I like that Franquelim relies on drugs and coffee because he's Seen Some Things. The details brings a lot of personal stakes and heart into what could otherwise be a very dry military post-apoc story, and that's hard to do with a cast this large. I'm looking forward to learning more about the characters! It feels like we're just at the tip of the iceberg for worldbuilding, but I can tell that a lot of thought and care has been put into how technology affects their lives through big things like religious views and small things like what kind of curse words they use. I'm also looking forward to learning about the power/class dynamics that are happening with the military and Houses like Steffano's and Daria's. The integration of web design and animation for impact is also extremely well-executed wherever it's used, but it's not overused to the point where the reader becomes used to it, which is important for giving those scenes emphasis.

snuffysam

For me, the strongest and most unique part of the comic is the visual aspect. Like, even putting the animated and panel-busting pages aside, the colors used are outstanding at conveying the proper emotions. Like even on this early page: http://sarilho.net/en/arquivo/comic/prologo-8 Franquelim's colors are brighter, they're bleeding off his body, and they give off this aesthetic that's the perfect mix of computer-y and mystical. Right off the bat something seems unusual about this comic's universe, yet the other characters barely glance at him. That's great visual conveyance.(edited)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Given everything that’s happened, how do you feel Nikita’s team will deal with the mission’s outcome so far? Also, will what has occurred affect the peace treaty with the Lusitanians in a negative way? Lastly, are more people doomed to die?

Capitania do Azar

Guys... You're too kind

RebelVampire

11) i agree with everyone else so far in that i think the comic's strengths are the usage of color and the use of animation and web design effects. every choice where these are concerned feels purposeful and really enhances the atmosphere of the moment. i feel they are what give a lot of the scenes their unique punch, as well as also add some visual context to characters' emotions where relevant. 12) Eurico just wants to have a tea party and needs to know if Nikita is game. But joke aside, he probably wants to tell Nikita some truths that Eurico thinks Nikita wasnt told. So that way maybe everyone can leave and nobody else has to die and no wars have to start. Which that last one is wishful thinking imo XD 13) I'm looking forward to more Franquelim doing his weirdo Augur things and everyone being like, "Sure my dude." But really, I just want to see more of that bundle of joy and fun. 14) I think the team is going to deal somewhat poorly. Cause not all of them seemed to take the mission all that serious and I think the hit of seriousness is gonna have some longterm PTSD affects. I mean I'm sure theyll play it off like theyre fine. But itll just be an army of Nikita's in that if they dont talk about it, they dont have to think or deal with it. XD As for the peace treaty, yes and no. I don't think Nikita and company will be responsible, but I think the piece of god might. And yes, yes more people are surely doomed to die. I'd even go so far as to say just assume everyone is gonna die by the end XD RIP

Capitania do Azar

ahaha oh no that is so bleak !!

I can't vouch that they won't die, but I hope they won't

Delphina

If you assume everyone is going to die, you'll be pleasantly surprised when some of them don't!

Capitania do Azar

WELL SOMEBODY'S GOTTA STAY ALIVE IF I WANT THE STORY TO KEEP GOING

(btw thank you for pointing out the big GIF files, I have changed their resolution so hopefully they won't kill more computers with lag )

varethane

Pls dont kill Franq plz plz plz

Capitania do Azar

>:)

Capitania do Azar

your theories are adding years to my life

Delphina

I gotta imagine the peace treaty is going to get affected, though. They're going to try to keep it quiet, but it's gonna get out somehow. Steffano's got a sinister aura around him, so maybe he'd spin the situation in a way that would benefit his political position.

(I could be wrong, but I adore it when people have ridiculously wrong theories about my comic so I'll just throw it out there.)

Also, was it Fausta that the "Foreigner" was trying to communicate through? I wonder if she's got some affinity for that and if she's going to be further used in that capacity

Capitania do Azar

Yes! Fausta is lusitanian-born, so she is naturally empathic and that's why the foreigner picked her out of the crew

snuffysam

it's interesting how the empath was affected rather than the augur. like, from my understanding, fausta's thing is reading people's emotions, while augurs can read the word of the gods/computers. so on the one hand, if the foreigner is communicating with fausta, does that mean the foreigner is human? but on the other hand, franq said that the foreigner's speech feels exactly like what connecting to the gods is like...

Capitania do Azar

I'm gonna throw ash into the fire and say that people tend to compare new things to things they already know ;D

It's past midnight for me, so I guess my time here is over!!

But thank you everyone who dropped by and had the care to read my comic and comment ;u; You make it all worthwhile

Delphina

Thank you for making an awesome comic!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about O Sarilho this week! Please also give a special thank you to shizamura for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked O Sarilho, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://sarilho.net/en/

shizamura’s Store: http://sarilho.net/en/loja

shizamura’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Shizamura

[unproduciblesmackdown]

sometimes the wild thing with depression is looking back and trying to figure out when it started and never really being able to draw a line for anything like "this was the earliest age it All Began(tm)," probably because there's not generally such an On-Off Switch type process to it. i know usually circa ten yrs old or later in the teens is usually what people point to but sometimes more of a period of exacerbation rather than origin, and who can say it's not also having the emotional and psychological capabilities and capacities that young children don't that bring a greater sense of perspective and awareness, idk anyways so i'm not sure if i was ever not-depressed or anything....i know i was always uncomfortable outside what was familiar and "shy" and i know that as soon as i was around other kids in a way more socially organized than running around together, namely preschool at 4 yrs old, i was aware of not feeling like i fit in and noticing i couldnt make friends like other people could. ive been good at bs-ing school from the start and happen to pick up things very quickly so even though i probably had the same habits as kids with the worst grades and had no particular ambitions re: academia (beyond avoiding parental wrath and later maintaining the identity that kinda protected me a bit in school) since i got really good grades and was quiet and pretty much just read in a corner when left to myself from kindergarten through middle school, i was probably considered a usually ideal student. i remember a couple of people who i felt i was genuinely friends with, a kid named michael who i think went to a different school after a couple of grades, and a kid named jacqueline in 2nd grade who was like me so quiet in retrospect i'm not sure if she knew much english but we played legos together and stuff but then we got in trouble for not paying attention during not even a lesson but i had to move seats b/c arbitrary Making An Example and since we were both so quiet we just didnt interact much anymore to avoid further attention. i made other friends technically but generally it took a long time to be comfortable with them and we were never close and in the meantime i dont think i ever much liked school. i remember one random sunday evening just getting upset about not wanting to go back the next day just because it was boring and meantime at home of course it sucked but i didnt quite realize it til i was older and it helped of course being young enough to be able to go outside for hours and be perfectly entertained playing in the dirt and trees and stuff. i read a lot at home too i remember having pretty skeptical thoughts about Life from earlyish on but, besides spending a crap ton of time just in my own head (reading, playing in dirt) i think i had ideas that life and the world was pretty amazing. like earlier on of course it was like "is magic real??" but then later its just stuff like reading in books about how kids had good friends and families and got to pursue their interests and do things and work out drama and have nice endings with a lot of hope for the future. for all i could tell the only thing keeping that from being my life was that i wasnt old enough, or probably i hoped that it was just a matter of time. it was less like i was extrapolating from my own limited observations of the worse aspects of life that life must be great and more like i was already noticing that my world was lacking and just hoping that it would grow out of it; not to mention being given the hint that stuff like abuse was my own fault and shortcomings i started getting more aware of being fed up with things / that they weren't inherently going to change around like late elementary school / middle school but it would take another year or two to really get the extent of it, and in the meantime by 14 or 15 at the latest i was consciously suicidal so like, moving fast there. i probably by that point had already caught on to the fact that my world had just been kind of shitty and that it wasnt going to change or seem better after a certain amount of time like i'd thought it would. and then add also having a better understanding of the rest of the world just by being older and getting more experience and realizing that its a lot more chaotic than initially taught to you and that being depressed and having developed few interests and zero ambitions and having antagonistic parents and very few friends doesnt do much to give you as much a cushion from that chaos as it could tangent: honestly i like programs that teach instructors how to recognize things that look like Behavior Issues as maybe more being signs of external issues. i wasnt the best at paying attention and i was often quiet in school whether in class or not and it mightve been a problem if i didnt get good grades but since i did i could just be in the background. i don't particularly resent this or anything because i know how teaching is and i myself didnt really understand i had serious problems at home until much later, but in retrospect i think i always had signs. i remember one particular incident when i was about 8 really shouldve been a bit of a warning sign. i know nobody can really do anything even if they know things are bad but considering i had to learn what abuse looked like by myself and i didnt feel supported by any adult and even when i knew what was going on when i was much older i still just didnt tell anyone in any position of authority because i had learned i had to protect myself by keeping personal things totally confidential and that if i exhibited any signs of struggling i would be blamed and chastised for it. wouldve been nice to at least be informed what was going on at an earlier time and maybe given some sense of confidence or at least a sense it wasn't completely my fault. turns out what gave me any ounce of confidence at all was being like 19 and being so blamed and maligned that it backfired and i started feeling like if i was as awful as i was made out to be then surely i didnt need to feel ashamed and responsible for everything that was being done to me. if i already deserved to be dead then what more could i bring on myself by daring to be so terrible as to feel i shouldnt be treated like i was! checkmate atheists anyhow, i feel like my Good Concepts About The World kind of evolved from "later on everyone has adventures" to "later on everyone goes to middle school / high school and makes friends and bonds with their family and follows their dreams" to something just more vaguely escapist with abstracted ideas about simply feeling comfortable and nice, with maybe general imagery, usually like summer sunsets or just some nice stars or something. i thought about it once and it made a lot of sense, thinking about stuff in terms of the concept of feeling ok and good things existing in the world and being able to sense it despite it also being at a distance or otherwise removed like dont get me wrong just because i wanna be dead i dont have some kind of notion that everyone else's experience of life is the same as mine i.e. that life and/or the world is inherently shit, i know its no more objectively bad than it is objectively good. i still like to think about the good side of all of it. i think its a total mistake to have the idea that if someone is suicidal or even just depressed that it necessarily has anything to do with what they think of the philosophy of the concept of Life, its more personal and immediate than that. honestly i hate all the advice about how you need to write a poem for your suicidal friend to teach them the magic of life or do some otherwise melodramatic bad y.a. novel shit that'll give them a New Perspective on the wonders of life literally overnight. not only is it always disgustingly patronizing and often counterproductively Tough Love-esque but also totally like unrelated to the root of the problem of "what if i'm worried about a friend making a suicide attempt." if you're personally wanting to do something i s2g literally just provide a distraction. talk about random shit or play online scrabble or go over and make midnight snacks, not like set a flower on fire while dropping a porcelain teapot on the floor and lecturing them about how this Doesnt Solve Any Problems or is a permanent solution to a temporary problem like no. just be a distraction jfc and dont insult anyone by generalizing their experience and guessing at what's probably an extremely complex and personal matter and turning it into empty clichés anyways: this was the longest way to get to the idea that isnt it wild when, like how you can Hear a sound in your head and despite recreating it decently its different from actually hearing it externally, you can sometimes remember what it was like to feel nice about the concept of life? i cant really summon earlier things but sometimes i can remember flashes of having those later sad-person-in-their-own-head moments of thinking of distant abstract concepts like seeing the sky as a medium for connection to the infinite experiences of humanity, and i can get like the equivalent of a visual image of a recreated feeling from back when i still had a few lingering overly-optimistic notions that things would be good soon. don't get me wrong, again im still aware of the good things in life and i still have good experiences and still feel good feelings. but i dont harbor expectations that the course of life must and will average itself out or lean towards improvement for any reason, like knowing that good things happening to you out of the blue is the same as how terrible things can happen for exactly the same reason—namely no reason at all. so i just dont have the same feelings i used to about my own personal life, and i dont feel the things i used to when i hoped it still could be Only A Matter Of Time. so its wild when for some reason i mentally stumble on the memory of having those feelings and theyre still recent enough that i get a moment of recreating the feeling like i do when i can picture something in my head, and its totally different and dissonant than what's currently true for me. it wasn't a more accurate perspective to think that life being bad meant it had to improve, but its obviously a nicer feeling. and it sounds like overused to the point of meaningless comparison but its like getting your head above water for a second in terms of the momentary contrast of sensation tldr its wild when you depressioning 24/7 and dead inside and have an instant of remembering What It Was Like To Feel Things

[pearlrebs]

I guess i wasnt very clear. Easy to seem angry over the internet unintentionally. I mean to say; rebs url (a small thing) represented something to us. Xe left and we all really miss xer. Xe mattered to us and was a special part of tjlc. 1/8

In many peoples eyes this is an aggressive act. Im sure that you can see at least a little how we would see it that way. 2/8

I wasnt implying that you are not queer or that i hate queers. i was saying that, this is the internet, im not going to always believe everything everyone tells me. 3/8

Most queers i know, try and stick together despite our differences. And the fact that you seem very angry (could be reading into it) at a group of people who are predominately queer tells me that you COULD be something other than queer. 4/8

As you yourself said this is just a tv show...but its more than that isnt it? Why you spend so much thought throwing shade at rebs or the tjlcers or whoever, tells me that theres something else going on and that it is important. 5/8

banding together with like-minded people is the solution to the political shitfest we are in. I'd like to think that we could work thru our differences to reach our common goals assuming, we have common goals. (if im wrong, please let me know) 6/8

I dont see myself as a victim, im only sad. not in a pitying way. Its hard to describe. You were probably the victim of an angry tjlcer on here or witnessed the chaos and theres really no excuse for hatefullness (im admonishing my own camp here). 7/8

debate, yes, but never being mean just to be mean. That doesnt get anyone anywhere. I hope this makes sense and im not trying to offend you. I just think life is too short to hate. And its sad that there has been much on here. 8/8

I’m actually not angry, I think it’s all kinda funny. Though I do try my best to respond seriously to serious messages. The “go fuck yourself”s will always be met with a “sounds good,” but when someone takes the time to send a message like this, I tend to pay attention. Anyways...

First you say you’re not going to always believe everything everyone tells you, then you turn around and say that the tj//lc group is predominantly queer. Who’s telling you that? Hard evidence? Demographics data? A census taken by a neutral third party to determine age range and sexuality, and what direction they believe the show should go? As I answered someone before: anecdotal evidence is inadmissible in science and court for a reason. Of course since you’re a lesbian (a factoid gleaned from your profile, but if this is inaccurate, please inform me. But I could easily say you’re not, but I don’t, because when someone tells me they’re queer, I believe them, who the hell wants to be in a [most places on the globe] hated minority? [by “hated,” I mean high risk of murder, bullying, and homelessness, and possibly being a criminal act depending on where you live]), your experience is going to be skewed towards finding other queer people. You think the group is predominantly queer people, but from the outside looking in, even as a queer person, I’ve mostly seen a bunch of straight women geeking over two middle aged white dudes possibly touching dicks, and using “representation” as a mask. I haven’t mingled with your community — I’ve got my own, who are and aren’t queer all the same.

And again, I say that with full knowledge that it is anecdotal evidence from my viewpoint and experience. I could be wrong. But that doesn’t mean you’re right either. 

Moving on. Most queer people (I don’t like the term “queers” personally, but as a queer person, you can reclaim that word however you want) you know stick together despite the differences. Okay. But if our difference is that you don’t think I deserve rights, or that my life is somehow worth less than a straight person’s (voting Dump/Pence, specifically Mike Pence, who would rather a gay person go to a conversion camp — where the risk of suicide is nearly 70% — than be gay), then that’s not a “difference.” That’s almost a hate crime (and it actually is in some countries). 

I assume you and I have similar goals — stop the carney-handed mango. I assume all but the 14% of LGBT people who did vote for that cheeto in a wig, do. Hence why I make a point of saying I don’t hate Rebs as a person (although the fact that xer Patreon is still up, and xe’s still collecting money, despite the fact xe’s publicly declared xe has no intention on ever making videos again, and even taking the existing ones down, is a little less than the perfect angel everyone is insisting that xe is). 

Tbh, maybe I tend to befriend more queer people irl, but you know what else is important? Straight allies. To me, being LGBT+ is a description of where I put my genitals/my gender identity, and I don’t exactly bond with people over that. A shared struggle, yes, and if I see a queer person being bullied, I will step in. I can support a gay man’s rights, even if that gay man is going out there campaigning for the orangutan in a suit (and some did). I’ll say he should be allowed to get married to whoever he wants, and when his Nazi buddies turn on his ass, I’ll be helping him find a visa out of here, but dear Ahura Mazda, I wouldn’t be caught dead having a beer with him. In fact, they most criticism I’ve ever gotten for being trans, is from other trans people. Yes, they should have rights, but fuck them as individuals, holy shit, don’t tell me how to transition. You can be trans (or any LGBT+) and still be a shitty person. 

But like... about 10%-15% of people are queer. 10%-15% of people couldn’t have voted for our rights and won. Meaning we have a ton of straight people on our side. And that’s what we are: we’re people. I love Steven Universe and pizza. I’ll find people that love Steven Universe and pizza that didn’t vote for literally satan. 

I’ve personally never been wronged by a hateful tj//lcer. But as you pointed out, there was a lot of hatefulness that was slung around. I watched as people attacked Mark Gatiss for not making their ship canon, or call him straight (they really care about representation, don’t they? /s), attacked other queer ships, tags, bullied some other queer shippers into self-harm, etc. 

No, that wasn’t you doing any of that, and that wasn’t anything you participated in... This blog really isn’t about you, I don’t know why you’re so sad about it. This is about everyone’s actions that I’m starting to suspect we both found deplorable. Though I guess if you were a close follower of Rebs, you hated Mary from second one, which was really uncalled for (hate her for shooting Sherlock — I don’t, but it’s a reason — but that didn’t happen until we knew her for two whole episodes, half of a third, and she was just a lovely person until that exact moment). 

The thing is, it IS just a show to me. I’m just responding to hate until I get bored with it. But tj//lc it became so much more to a bunch of people, and that’s why it got so toxic. 

Again, THE PROBLEM is tj//lcers were demanding representation from a show, and writers, who were always honest that they weren’t going to give it. At least not in the way they wanted (and when it wasn’t in the way they wanted, they had tantrums, which is why I say: it was never about “representation” for some of them.). Rebs, even if it started as just a hobby, quickly became, and fed into this mass conspiracy that ultimately did end up hurting a lot of people. Possibly including xerself. That’s why I don’t feel bad taking your symbol: it is just a show, everyone had prior warning that jxhnlock wouldn’t happen, so the conspiracy was always just going to be fanfiction, and Rebs did some shitty things. 

The way people are freaking out... they need to get over it. Or if not, okay, soak in grief forever over a fictional ship, but there’s probably better ways of dealing with all this besides sending me hate. Because honestly, what does anyone hope to accomplish by sending me hate? Me to delete? Sure, let’s say I did that. Jxhnlock isn’t going to be any more canon, and Rebs isn’t going to be any less wrong, and all of the hate xe encouraged is still going to be out there. Oh, and I’ll keep responding, which really just makes it worse. 

Had people just ignored me — never sent any messages — there would be precisely one post on this blog, which was my original announcement that I had it.

Also — what have I said that’s “hateful?” Yeah, okay, I called rebs a “twat” for being a misogynist, I thought it was delightfully ironic, having a misogynistic slur juxtaposed next to that observation (like saying, “don’t fucking swear”), but no one got the joke, so I took it down. But otherwise? Saying John Watson is Straight is just a fact. Jxhnlock never happened, and since it didn’t, the insistence that he’s bisexual has no standing. He’s always said, “I’m not gay.” I never took that to mean he was saying, “I’m not gay, but I like men, I’m bisexual/pansexual.” Jeez, no, if he was part of the community at all, I imagine he’d let it pass, rather than get angry about the assumption (like Sherlock does, who is, said by the writers, to be neither gay nor straight. In fact, I’ve often heard that if you’re a good straight ally, it means not being upset if people assume you’re gay for standing up with them — so in some interpretation, he’s actually a bit homophobic). I’ve also pointed out that xe was wrong, which xe is. My banner is of Gatiss confirm jxhnlock wasn’t happening again — this is a thing that happened. Are facts “hateful” now? 

Also... “life is too short to hate.” I mean... I think I’ve got enough life left in me to hate the sentient tire fire that uses too much fake tan cream, and the apparent resurgence of Nazis in America. Don’t you? Shouldn’t you? 

tj//cers are definitely not on that level, but I don’t hate them, is the thing. I said this before: I hate no one in particular, just what the legacy produced.