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basketsys · 8 months

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We're sick so I wrote a stand up comedy script about being a system called "Late night insomnia (and fever) driven system themed stand up comedy" or just "Dudes Inside Disorder"

[Sources from some jokes are in the bottom of the post, if you click any of the little numbers they will send you to the original Google document I used for writing]

Hello and welcome to this mess of a show, my legal name is unimportant since you are not the government to be concerned about it but you guys can call this sack of meat and bones “Basket” or “Basket System” if you want to quote on quote full name us. A little background about that name, it is supposed to be more like one of those baskets that you often find in farmer markets full of fruits and berries and stuff, but you can kinda also see it as a dirty laundry basket too because, to be fair, these clothes? They stink a bit now, you just can't smell from your chairs which is probably better for the sake of both of us.

You didn't need to know that but, oh well, I'm already over sharing tonight, what a little more to throw at the mix.

If you don't know what a system is, don't worry, I will explain, a system is a little silly thing the human brain does where it gives you silly guys to live with inside your brain alongside you. And if you're already thinking “I never met a system before nor heard about one ever” then it might be because of 1 out of 3 reasons: Either a. You must really live along with people without trauma or problems which, good for you, b. We only tell very close friends or partners about this kind of stuff so someone might not want to cause problems in the relationship or something along those lines, or c. Damn, you might be the problem. Like sincerely, you must be the reason why we don't talk about it so openly and only so secretly and we have to be like the LGBTQ community almost getting out of the closet and all that.

And honestly if you are the type of guy that heard about the people in your head stuff and immediately thought “Oh like that one movie, Shattered” then yes you are the problem so me and my other 50 friends are coming for you, except that when I mean my other 50 friends I really mean 1 body with 50 people in their frontal lobe.

Because really, get that movie out of the way, the people who did it are hated so much by thousands of people who actually suffer from this, including us. So let's clear up what a system really is like.

Being a system is more like living in a house with so many roommates you lost count and also almost never see and then one day you go to the fridge to get that one snack that you were saving for later, and then going to said fridge and not finding it and immediately screaming “WHO THE FUCK ATE MY SNACK?!” except you scream it internally and not out loud in front of your parents who are already disappointed in the fact that you either keep saying that you can't remember your childhood, which I'm sure they worked so fucking hard to give you a memorable one (/s, shaking head, dead stare), or the fact that you are a little too fruity for them and you don't want them to know so soon how mentally ill you actually are. And after that you just start planning murder and then suddenly and without any notice you just hear someone behind you saying “Calm down, it's fine, we can get it later, it's no worry” and you're just there mid planning going “When the fuck did you fucking appear? Like dude, at least make a little sound. Also this is my problem, it doesn't concern you.” and the guy just responds with “It does concern me because in fact you're planning on murdering my son. You're planning the murder of 6-year-old Timmy here over a snack.” and then you just don't know how to feel, either you feel like an asshole or you still keep going on with your plans because technically they can't put you in jail for beating the shit out of a child that resides inside your frontal lobe.

Yeah, just to be safe, never ask a system what crimes have been committed inside that brain, because in fact, it might be a lot. Some might even say arson and you'll be so glad that the fire 10-year-old Sarah did was in a safe space and not in a forest unlike a middle-aged singlet woman making a baby shower.

Oh, right yeah I haven't talked about how we call you guys, right. Systems refers to normal people as “singlets”, comes from the word “singular”. Yeah we have to pretend we are singlets a lot. Either it's school, a job, social media even, Thanksgiving, Christmas, for government papers like a birth certificate, imagine if the government creates a law for systems where we have to update the birth certificate everytime we get a new silly guy in the headband they just attach the list of names and date of splitting to the already 1 page long certificate using tape or staples, the list would be fucking endless and we would contribute a fucking lot to global warming. It's not like we even care about the headcount a lot, we also sometimes don't keep count of how many people are in this sack of bones and meat. Also it's hilarious when you start talking about introjects because you might as well be committing either illegal cloning or identity theft in the eyes of the government, so. Yeah better to not keep track of the infinite amounts of Wilbur Soot's in every system and how many each body has as well, they would end each shift like “How many Wilbur's did you count today?” “Today was a chill day, only 22. Like 5 different bodies, it was cool. One of them was trans I think.” like it's no longer ‘How much did they pay you this week?’ it's ‘How many times did you have to press ctrl+v this evening?’.

The government would be like “You wouldn't download a movie” or even “You wouldn't download a car”, well, guess what bitch, I fucking downloaded a car and his fucking name is Lighting McQueen.[1]

Honesty sometimes I feel like introjects are like Rule 34 even, if there's a character there's an introject, especially if there's a lot of attention on that media, oh boy. I'm just gonna say, the quantity of Marvel introjects I've seen, even worse than when DSMP was popularized. For you who are not zoomers, that's something off the internet which was basically a theater club to say the least, don't ask, you don't wanna know, you don't ask more questions about it nor say why did Dream actually needed to stay in jail forever because if you do you're gonna get doxxed. And it's not fun, look at us we change identity every random amount of time because of this exact same thing. Just kidding it is not because of that, it's because someone was mean to us at the ripe age of 8, so now we're fucked up mentally[2] (with an up-beat voice). Now, we're 15 fuckers in a trench coat with one goal, taking a nap, and also trying to figure out who ate the last of the fettuccine Alfredo. I'm looking at you, Alejandro. (looking at nothing) You could've just left a note. I won't be mad for eating my leftovers (nodding at audience while mouthing “Yes, I will” )

What's also fun about this (whisper: “it is not, not really”) is that, you don't only get DID, the “Dudes Inside” Disorder, you also get a fun little combo of other mental illnesses so you don't miss out on the offer, like a McDonald's promotion where you just pay $2 extra and get something else, the same here, you get a little bit more fucked up and you get a new guy and a mental disorder, like ADHD, autism, OCD, BPD, Bipolar, PTSD, anxiety, the whole DSM-5 diagnosis criteria. Like yeah they can come free with your new guy, even bundle up and the newbie could also be like “Oh my God, I wanna front and experience life like I have never been more alive” a then when they experience life and also with the several other disorders and even sometimes disabilities that the body can have they're just like “…I don't want to be here anymore, I wanna go home” and then there's the one alter who's been there for the last 5 years just looking from afar and saying “You must be new here, welcome to hell” like an old war veteran while they're just, what, 17?

And then you do the math and realize “Goddamn that 17-year-old was 12 when they appeared” and to that I say, and in complete honesty, the people that can appear can already come pre-traumatized like a pre-cooked meal that you just pop into the microwave. It's no longer “I can fix him” now it's “I will get him so he goes to therapy himself”.[3] I got that one off system Tumblr, it's fine the amnesia will make them forget they ever did that joke. Also, you're not even the one checking what's available in the alter market, the brain just looks and analyzes the world like a menu like “What do I need at this moment, a medium ugly half dead man? No, too fruity. Boy failure male wife wet cat? Too pathetic. An intergalactic teenager from another species, a completely different civilization with completely different culture, skin colour, inhumane features and an asshole personality? (Gasp) Yeah I'll get that. Excuse me, I'll get the Karkat Vantas, directly from Homestuck, don't do any of those fancy AU stuff, I'll get the original. Can I make that a combo? Yeah, give me the social anxiety, extra shake. Want this to get called a nervous system[4] instead of whatever name they made up for themselves, thanks”

Another thing that also changes a lot is how you consume content, either a song, a series, movie, you name it. You guys are just out there saying “I want to watch this movie” let's take Penguins of Madagascar as an example, and you just get through the movie, silly movie, funny even, you enjoyed it and then never think about it again until that one night you're scrolling Netflix, great. But as a system? Oh boy.

As a system, you have to pray to finish the movie sometimes. Either someone else wanted to see the movie too and can be a child or an adult so now either they kicked you or you're getting a friend to chat with during the movie, sometimes even babysit but everything cool, you finish the movie and mission accomplished, you survived.

Or also what can happen is a secret third thing which we all just sweat cold at night. If you get through the movie, amazing, you made it, now pray so Riko doesn't follow you home like a demon attached to you, don't matter which fucking God you have to pray to, even if it's the angel inside your brain you got from reading the fucking Bible back when you were on Sunday school or fucking Zeus, you just do. You're atheist? Not anymore, you need all celestial help you can get so he doesn't appear ever. You heard his voice? No you fucking didn't. Just keep walking. You don't wanna hear it from the host, or the system manager, asking when and how did we get an arsonist terrorist spy penguin that can puke bombs at will and also doesn't communicate very well. Anyways, just smile and wave…wait, NO.

One last thing I want to talk about is how diverse sometimes the alters in systems can get, they can be transgender, cisgender, human, non-human, straight up animals, demons, angels, a fucked up drawing you did when you were 12, anything. And also leaves the room for them to be part of the LGBTQ community and also form families and relationships in the same system.

For example, remember Timmy? The 7-year-old about to be murdered? And how this guy just said “That's my child?” yeah, we just, start saying shit like that, sometimes is because of the memories that they have before forming or it can be just because they saw a child and said “Yoink, now you're my son” like there's a 50/50. But a lot of systems consider each other family and that's actually very nice. Even internal dating happens, genuinely. Which yeah, it is already pretty fruity to have silly little guys inside you, now they're actually gay?[5] Damn, okay box of fruit loops, we get it, calm down. That's actually what one of our singlet friends told us when I explained my relationship with my fucking husband which lives with me in the same frontal lobe, and to be fair, he's right, if we actually bought each one of them their own pride flag we would be broke in no time, like. It was to pick a single struggle, not to grab a handful of them. It said it on the sign “Take one”.

Moving on, you know, hopefully I live long enough to see a system meeting expo-like event, I want to see the posting of the event saying something like "Thank you for coming to our meeting! We had a thousand attendees in this event" and then someone as an outsider just saw like 6 different bodies in front of a Starbucks.

Some references:

[1] Came with this one with a friend system

[2] Sysblr

[3] Sysblr

[4] Sysblr

[5] Close singlet friend

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echolaliaplayer · 9 months

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Long winding rant about bullshit under the cut, I warned you

what part of trans Tumblr am I even in. Every day I keep finding new [animal]girl[body part]s so I don't think it's that part of trans Tumblr. I refuse to post with any kind of seriousness so it probably isn't the theory girls as much as I appreciate them. I don't really hornypost much anymore although I'd like to change that. I guess it's largely up to how others see me. Why am I here?

I don't think I have the follower count to be clouted on here and frankly that seems hollow compared to the fun I had in just finding people (or people's accounts, as one such account pointed out to me) I could befriend or associate with to some degree. It's fun (? - wrong word but there's an enjoyability to it that makes it repeatable) to just care a little bit though I lack the proximity or resources for anything more than words with those people, so I get it might not be for everyone. I guess it's all I have in place of exchange of small trinkets with people met along travels I also don't have (although I do plan to exchange parcels or digital files with some of you and I'm looking forward to it). I'm worried there might be a critical mass at some point where I simply don't have time to meet new people because I have to keep up with old mutuals and balance real life friends and what not. If we're mutuals and you're reading this far and I haven't contacted you it's certainly nothing personal, you're recognisable to me most likely I just haven't had time/courage I probably think you're really cool.

So that also leads me to the question of my current Tumblr use pattern. This stuff is mental cigarettes for me. I'm on here hourly at least if I'm not completely preoccupied by, like, sleep, driving, sex, showering, random activities that require my full attention. Eating alone or shitting are not sacred frankly. Not sure that's very good for my cognitive health or just like. Life experience. How I relate to people IRL. That's had issues long before this account so it isn't the sole culprit but it's something to keep in mind. It reinforces a tendency for easy stimulation that I think can thwart conversational ability; it turns the other party's words into one-sided consumption with little consideration for reply (although my job does this as well, it's the whole point of it) and frames how you approach responses in a way that is less about a meaningful reply and more about. Idk. Generating something someone undefined approves of - no that's wrong. I just no longer feel in the moment in a lot of conversations, absorbed to a degree by time with another. I desperately want that back. This isn't really about Tumblr at all is it. This is about the very short loop that my brain goes through that prevents me from acquiescence to a moment. Nothing feels lived. It hasn't in a long time and I'm only getting flickers of it with HRT. Clearly dysphoria hasn't been my only problem for a long time but how would I know? My hormones haven't been right and

It's such a tough loop to even approach. Probing it mentally causes nausea. I was acutely aware of it the last time I was on psychedelics and I spent the whole time feeling ill. During it I could occasionally lose myself in something and then I would be dragged out by physically disgusting feelings in my gut and just anxiousness about it. But I notice "seed thoughts" for it now. I feel it before anything physical. It's odd. The thought is leaving my head now and I'm tipsy after day drinking. Where was I? "Love you all, talk soon", I think. Seems nice to end this on that.

#this should have veen like 4-5 separate posts but this is how my brain is. get a sense of the dialogue and the flow of topics #especially if weve talked before #should be illuminating #wcs.txt #been* inability to edit tags on the app is so silly #no obligation to read or respond to any of this btw

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elytrafemme · 2 years

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i’m gonna be real with you, i’ve saw like maybe two or three origins streams ;-; ooo, i would like to hear about them whenever if you’d like!! and if you don’t want them to to public or anything, you can always dm if you want to! gosh, i love headcanons, feel free to come to me and tell me about them anytime you wanna :D

poetry is so nice. i used to write poetry sometimes when i was in really bad moments of mental health stuff, so most of my poetry is really triggering probably. i totally understand you with feeling like characters are living and breathing people, i feel that so much. i had an oc who i adored some years ago and haven’t touched on her since those years ago. unfortunate, i miss her so much (her name is june btw). i miss writing, it’s one of the only things i’ve ever truly shared and created because i used to be good at it, but now i think i’ve lost a lot of that. the last thing i wrote was a short c!ranboo poem that i posted a few months ago (i think). and i completely get you, makes total sense. i think writing in that way is really nice

oh? that’s cool then! i don’t know if you remember, but someone asked you a bit ago what names you’d pick for cs!tubbo if his name wasn’t tubbo, and i can’t remember if that was on anon or not (i think it was, and that was me actually. so we have cs!tubbo and cs!ranboo, haha. mhm, i get you, but i wanted to! because the fic is genuinely so fucking incredible and i wanted to add to the lovely community for it, but turns out it was a guy in my brain. i haven’t seen her in a while…. she’s incredibly mentally ill so she’s weary of being around. but if i see them anytime soon, i’ll let him know you said that. i’m sure they would appreciate that. oh no, she’s fine with it. one of the names he goes by actually is mare, because of you, so i’m very positive they’re comfortable with being associated with you and everything? also please let me know if her using a name of yours makes you uncomfortable, he wouldn’t like to make you uncomfortable :]

HELLO I AM SO SORRY I AM REPLYING SO LATE hope you are well <3

i don't have all the energy atm to explain my full headcanons but basically i had a fic AU set in a modern, non-fantastical universe where the osmp cast lived in this smaller quaint town and eventually o!Ranboo left to move into the city after a natural disaster event happened in the other town and caused her some trauma. her relationships are generally strained but are better with some people than others but inevitably she is able to find her way home. there's more to it than that but that was my idea hehe

poetry is so so so fucking healing seriously, and honestly like! any kind of writing is so important to keep regardless of whether it fits on this metric of "good/bad", like. it's coming from the heart and your experiences and these characters that you connect to (june sounds lovely by the way, <3) and that's what's most important. i've had to give myself a lot of grace with cough syrup about whether or not i was writing it perfectly because, yeah, the first couple of chapters are objectively on the shittier end compared to the rest of the fic. but what matters is that it conveyed what i wanted it to, and it gave me a way to spend that summer, and it meant a lot to me.

i hope this isn't uncomfortable to say but the fact that your csranboo uses the name mare because of me makes me like, tear up a little. and yes, i remember that anon! i find it so interesting how many people have asked me about alternate names i'd give the characters for purposes of fictives because to be entirely honest i am so ungodly shitty with names that every time i flounder LMAO, but it's very sweet that people ask me haha . also tell your cstubbo i say hello as well , there are many brain guys in this community too and i think that's realy neat honestly

#nightmare.ask #nightmare.fave #honestly i used to have issues with people having the same first name as me like. it'd freak me out #but like i feel like in this case that's not really paranoia inducing that's just really sweet #i hope fellow mare is doing well/better

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heraldtim · 2 years

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ADHD

So, as has happened every time I try to start a journal, diary, blog, whatever... I write one or two posts, and then I disappear for a long time. Here I am, back from the disappearing. I am trying quite deliberately to not disappear any more.

My bio-kids both have ADHD-- diagnosed and under treatment. (My step-kids probably have it too.) A couple of months ago, my 16-year-old said, "Dad, I think you have ADHD too," and he rattled off the many, many traits and habits I have which point in that direction. I think he was right.

I already had an appointment for neuro-psych testing planned, and we included ADHD stuff. That was 7 hours of tests which I took across two days this past week, and totally brain-frying. I don't have "official" results yet, but it seems clear that I'm checking all of the right boxes for ADHD. There are habits and traits that I've had since childhoood. There are some things that I see now were coping mechanisms for manifestations of ADHD. I was very outgoing up through kindergarten, but then I specifically became much more introverted, because my father would become angry if I was "acting out" or being too loud, or inappropriate in whatever other way he felt was applicable. I never had the "hyperactive" part of ADHD, because I was madly suppressing it for my own survival.

That was the 1980s. As I am rapidly learning, the medical profession's understanding of ADHD is alarmingly thin. Back then, it was just ADD, which is sort of ironic, because the definiting characteristic was: (mostly) boys who were out-of-control hyperactive. Until the mid 1990s (what??) many physicians still stated publicly that ADHD did not exist and was simply an excuse for poor parenting and bad behavior. Until the 90s? WTF???

Since my son "diagnosed" me, things have been incredibly difficult in ways that are almost comically typical ADHD manifestations. All the stuff with which ADHD patients often struggle over the course of their lives, I seem to have piling up on me in the last few weeks (in addition to recovering from surgery, and trying to homeschool one chronically ill child who is current sleepint 12-16 hours a day and only has half a brain the rest of the time).

Trying to rearrange my office-- rearranging furniture has always made me happy, and it turns out ADHD brains really like those kind of changes (as long as they are forewarned). Where did i put the power cord for this, that, and the other thing when I took them all off the desk to move it? Why won't the damned computer recognize this stupid monitor instead of that one? I should never have started this, the project is too big and I'm too week/crazy/disorganized/full-of-back-pain/depresed/etc. I literally had the old "I can't even do this simple thing. See how useless I am? Everyone would be better off if I were dead" thought this afternoon.

I am going to a massage-- it's a luxury that I'm going to have to quit, or at least cut down on, with a quarter of my income gone. I'm counting down the days until I no longer have to pay alimony. Unfortunately, that will be right about the time that my bio-kids turn 18, finish high school, and head out on their own (if they want to... I mean, I'm not going to kick them out, at least not immediately). So... I'll have the money to do all the things I always wanted to do with them, right when they leave me. That's another train of thought that's leading me to the "better off dead" station.

I really have been very non-depressed over the last few months. My therapist actually suggested we "discharge" me from her care, since I was doing so well. What changed? Why is everything suddenly so hard?

I will write more soon. I know this is just a rambling mess. The purpose is just to get all of the (crazy ADHD) thoughts out of my head and written down so my kids, and hopefully their kids and so on, can maybe find something useful or helpful in it. So maybe when I die, I can leave behind a little something.

#depression #adhd brain #dad stuff

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thoradvice · 4 years

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so many self-care posts on tumblr just tell you to eat chocolate and watch movies, but that’s not gonna help much if you’re in a depressive episode, or something worse. sure, that can help if you have a bad day, but if you’re struggling with a mental illness, it’ll just make things worse. so i created this list for other mentally ill people who are sick of seeing those posts and need some real tips.

hygiene. it’s really hard to feel better when you’re greasy and you haven’t changed your underwear in two weeks. if you can, shower. that’s gonna be the best thing - by far - that you can do. but if you can’t? i get it, it can seem like a lot. spray some dry shampoo in your hair and brush it through; change your underwear and your socks, even if you put your same clothes back on; brush your teeth, or at least swill some mouthwash around your mouth; rinse your face with some warm water and dry it; put on some deodorant.

eat something. forgetting to eat is so common, but is one of the first steps to dragging yourself out of a depressive episode. eating anything will help, but preparing something nutritious will go a long way. it’s okay if all you can manage is a granola bar or some cereal, if that’s the case, grab a piece of fruit or some veggies too. your body and your brain will thank you. drinking is also so important. grab your biggest glass or bottle and fill her up with some cold water, and drink the whole thing. fill it up again and take it to your room. i keep a full water bottle in my room, along with some relatively healthy snacks, so that this step takes minimal effort.

environment. struggling with your mental health often leads to your bedroom or home becoming messy. it’s okay ! it happens to most of us. but cleaning it up will really help. it’s okay if you can only manage one room, or one section of one room. start with your bedroom. crack open a window. take out all the cups and plates. put away any clothes - even if you just stuff them in your closet. pack away any stuff you won’t need for the rest of today - school supplies, books, etc. you’re probably spending most of your time in bed, right? change the sheets, if you can. if not, pick up your blanket and shake off any crumbs, and turn your pillow(s) over.

exercise. before you skip this section, you absolutely do not have to go the gym or go on a five mile jog. you absolutely do not ! you just need to move your body for a lil bit. taking a walk is something that really helps me. go out in the fresh air for a bit, don’t go on your phone, look at pretty flowers, and clear your head. yoga is also supposed to be very useful, though i’ve never tried it. if this seems too much, at least stretch your limbs and wrists/ankles, especially if you’ve been sat in the same position for a while.

reach out. letting someone know what’s going on and how you’re struggling will help more than you know. having someone there, to distract you or to just talk it out, will be the thing that helps you the most when you feel like this. this person can be anyone you trust - a friend, a parent, a sibling, grandma, literally anyone you can rely on. if you do only one of these, please choose this one.

relax. make sure this is the last one you do, if you choose to do multiple of these. now you’ve taken care of all the stupid things that humans need to stay alive, you can take it easy. this is the time for the cutesy tumblr brand self-care - watch a movie, listen to music, eat some candy, whatever you want to do that will make you smile.

be kind to yourself. i know it’s hard, but you’re trying. that’s all that matters. i’m so proud of you for hanging on and pulling yourself out of this spiral. please know that you’re loved, cared about and needed. you’re going to be okay, and things will be brighter soon, i promise.

#self-care #self-help #mental illness tips #recovery #thor speaks

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ronalddear · 3 years

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Bathroom.

hi again! This is another drabble/missing moment set during dh after the wedding. Again this is only my second time writing any fic so it's very amateur.

This was requested by @nuttybeardetective , and was inspired by this post of mine. Ron is vaguely prudish in this but seeing as this is only my second time writing, I don't think I'm ready to write full-on smut yet. hope you enjoy <3

WARNING: none except for language, because it's Ron ;)

WORDS: 1515

The dim cold ambience of Grimmauld Place did nothing to soothe the uneasiness of the wedding attack and Ron was utterly fed up. One week after their untimely arrival at the grim house enticed them to try and settle into their temporary 'home'. At least physically anyway, Harry was now occupying Sirius' room in reserved isolation and after another night of sleeping adjacent in the drawing-room, he and Hermione had wordlessly agreed upon sleeping in their respective rooms that they'd occupied during the summer before 5th year, with some unannounced hesitation on his part.

The minuscule amount of clothes he carried was unpacked, his worn toothbrush now stood in the cup designated on the 2nd story bathroom, opposite his bedroom. The kitchen table was now draped in Hermione's lists and notes of all sorts, a map of the Ministry adorning the centre. Yet Ron felt as if mentally he was still at the Burrow, packing the extra healing supplies from the bathroom cupboard or stood in the stuffy kitchen, duplicating his mother's kitchenware to stuff into his rucksack.

The immediate thought of the burrow made his stomach drop and his head spin. The forced confinement made him feel ill. It felt as if he was in deep quarantine and had no knowledge of the world outside. This scared him so intensely that his paranoia was at an all-time high after a week without family communication. Surely the whole Horcrux-hunting fiasco would last longer than a week? A couple months maybe? Could he go that long without his serene home, the sunny hillside near the refreshing pond, and his family, who were at risk of being imprisoned or killed because of their non-prejudiced beliefs?

His stomach dropped again and his shoulders sagged under the scorching heat of the water flowing across his frame. He discovered that hot water was helpful for him to relax, only temporarily of course but it was much better than the frigid water in the small shower the burrow housed or the short-lived heating charm that made him feel as if he was showering in lukewarm tea rather than a proper hot shower.

His only downside was that his creamy skin was almost brick red, yet somehow his freckles showed through like a common childhood disease that Hermione had mentioned getting in her early years. He could not remember the name. His hair laid flat on his head, a darker red when wet but now longer than a quiff, he ran his gangly fingers through it, sweeping it back but failing to contain a few stray pieces, which dangled near the curve of his cheek and tickled his ears.

Goosebumps spread across flesh the instant his heels touched the cool tile. The sudden temperature change brought about a shock and he scrambled for his towel to aid his chill. After hastily wrapping it around his waist, he clumsily aimed for his vest to wear until he got to the room so at least he wouldn't freeze to death. Vest in hand, the metal toothbrush cup clanged off the side of the counter, making a ruckus in its wake.

Vest now over his head and arms, bunched just under his chest. the cup was replaced to its original spot and a good few swears had escaped his breath. He bent across the counter to clear the mirror of the steam that emanated from the shower when he felt the slightest brush against his bareback.

"Shit!"

"Sorry!'

His hand frantically searched for his wand to provide defence but unless towels came with pockets then he was out of luck. Hermione's alarmed voice stabbed through the bathroom and the echo lingered for a bit, just enough until he processed that she was in front of him. Her eyebrows were raised and her mahogany eyes were wide after she jumped away from him suddenly.

"Um..Hi.” she started with a great inhale.

Ron's heart rate hadn't returned to normal and his mouth was agape at the sight of her so suddenly appearing in the bathroom. Where he was. Alone. Until she came in of course. So now it was just him and her. Alone. He suddenly became very aware that he had just come out of the shower and was revealing a particular amount of torso, which was probably solid red now with a litter of freckles that he didn't fancy too much himself.

"Uh hey?" he started, completely at a loss of how to conduct the situation, while he sheepishly smoothed down the vest along his stomach. She couldn't have come in here to discuss Horcruxes right? Actually, he wouldn't put it past her to do just that, to be honest.

"I uh.. well I came to shower and I realised that you were still in here, still are in here so.. but yeah your vest was rolled up a bit sorry, just wanted to.. uh fix it, yeah, sorry." she stumbled over her words a lot, something he'd never heard from Hermione but she seemed to speak extremely fast yet agonisingly slow and deliberate at the same time.

She was breathing in deeply again and his eyes fell to the stray tight curls that graced the nape of her neck which her haphazard-looking ponytail exposed. The bathroom was quite dim and the yellow glow from the dingy lights fell just barely on her dark skin. Skin. His eyes travelled a little further to see she was wearing a vest herself, no a camisole, he didn't know what it was but his gaze was hooked on the space between her shoulder and collarbone. He had the urge to touch it with his lips.

He quickly averted his eyes as to not embarrass himself but they glanced over her bare legs in moderately short cotton shorts and he sucked his breath in so hard he was now bent at a slight curve, stomach clenched and breath hitched. He was quickly overwhelmed at the intimacy the situation opposed. Hell, he couldn't believe he was describing an interaction with Hermione as intimate. His ears were on fire surely, he'd need an Aquamenti to put them out if he survived.

"Oh", his voice heightened toward the end and he internally cringed so hard he thought he was going to combust.

"Yeah", she whispered, her eyes were on his arms, his brain scars were fully displayed and swirled across his recently filled out arms.

"I thought you were using the bathroom near your room?" he spoke softly and slowly, drinking in the sight of her lips, which she was toying with impatiently, now flushed.

There was an urge to cover his arms but he resisted and tried to focus on a chipped tile near the door. He failed as soon as she spoke once more, her voice clearer this time and with, almost, determination?

"I think I like this one more." she spoke, referring to the bathroom seemingly but her eyes were nowhere but him.

She intentionally made eye contact and his heart dropped to his lower stomach, his chest unnaturally warm. Wasn't this room cold as shit before? He was smart enough to know that bathroom was the last bloody thing she was talking about but words failed and he was more than happy to let her steer the conversation.

"Can I ask why?', he managed, his mouth was dry and he was sure he's never wanted anything more than for her to touch him, anywhere, she could slap him if she wanted and he would relish her skin on his.

Their breaths were erratic now, you'd swear they'd run a marathon twice over. Her chest was rising and falling agonisingly slow. He was still bent a bit so he was leaning towards her and she seemed to have gotten closer since she jumped back earlier. When did that happen?

"It's a bit more spacious I think, prettier interior as well", she whispered, swallowing halfway in between and added in the last bit staring so far into his eyes that he swore she was probably seeing through his head.

Pretty. Did she just say pretty? He was pretty sure she said pretty. No one had called him that before and if she had just called him fucking pretty he was going to die on the spot. Her words kept repeating in his head, soft and intentional. His entire body was frozen and he knew that the ground wasn't cold enough to make his legs tremble the way they were now. She gazed up at him and he swore he saw a glint of satisfaction after his reaction.

"Right, well, I'll let you have it then..Enjoy.", he applauded himself in restaining his voice from wavering at the end.

She gave a small thanks and he started to walk towards the door, her to the shower. Her bare shoulder touched his elbow at the exact moment her eucalyptus shampoo wafted towards his nose and he swore he almost whimpered. Their eye contact was only broken by the door closing and Ron almost collapsing on the other side.

PLEASE REVIEW! <3

#my fic #fic rec #harry potter headcanon #hermone granger #ron weasley #ron weasley fanfiction #ron weasley defence squad #ron weasley appreciation #romione #romione fanfiction #romione fanfic #ron x hermione #hermione granger headcanon #the golden trio #this is really long again sorry I just love details #hope you enjoy

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m-feys · 4 years

Text

OK NEURODIVERGENT GAANG TIME BC I WANNA

these hcs are kinda halfway set in a modern au bc thats my context for this ! (gonna split it up so its not as long bc i drafted the original and it was LONG) water tribe siblings first !!!

Sokka

adhd/autism king 😌

[ID: a screenshot of Sokka standing on a raised stone platform with a map of the Fire nation hanging behind him. He’s holding his arms stiffly by his side with a wide-eyed look on his face, brows raised as he has his mouth open, saying something. End ID.]

- schedules to survive, he likes to know what hes getting into and if you try to change plans on him without warning he’ll be very resistant

- smart kid who doesnt study, oh he tries, oh boy does he try, he ends up reading the same sentence over and over until he gets distracted by drawing something, working on the blueprint for his latest invention, or with researching something completely unrelated to what he’s mean to be studying. then he tosses and turns all night because he’s stressed by not having studied, but when he actually takes the test he makes a 105, despite there not even being a bonus question, he just answered the essay question so well the teacher gave him an extra 5 points

- special interests?? we got em!!! classic weaponry (think swords, boomerangs, but also, like canons and catapults and shit) engineering/physics, art/drawing, strategy games. he tends to hyperfocus within his special interests, so like for a week he was hellbent on building his own full sized trebuchet, much to the dismay of Gran Gran who just wanted to grow her tomatoes without them being crushed by said full size trebuchet

- (also he plays all types of games probably, but he def plays those ones where you take over the world, like the ones online and azula also plays them too and they end up being rivals, while not actually knowing who the other is outside of their usernames)

- he also talks a lot in his classes/is like the ‘class clown’ and ppl think this is him not focusing but engaging this way actually helps him focus way more than sitting silently, a lot of teachers dont understand it but the ones who do are actually paying attention and realize that he’s generally talking/joking about their current topic

- some observations (this shit is all canon babey!!!) - sokka is great at being a leader and communicating in groups he’s in but he really really struggles in front of crowds, one-on-one and sokka can talk well, joke and stuff but as soon as he’s separate from other people and everyone is just listening he clams up (solar eclipse pt 1). he also loves to joke and make people laugh, and a lot of the time he misinterprets stuff because he’s autistic but he also will realize this and do it anyway because he thinks it’s funny and he likes laughing with his friends (idk if this happens in canon but i do this and sokka does too bc i said so :^). He also takes up the protector/comforting role but despite his best intentions he can sometimes say insensitive stuff and not even realize what he’s done to upset people (when he happily told aang ‘the whole world thinks your dead!’) works best when he feels needed, if he feels unnecessary or like something doesnt matter he struggles to complete it (i feel like the beginning of sokka’s master rlly demonstrates what i mean here), and this goes both ways, he will put too much value into certain things that he cares about and can get his priorities mixed if he’s focused too much on what he believes matters more than what might be most pressing (zuko destroyed his suki sculpture, oh right bc he was attacking aang)

Katara

she also has adhd/autism, (so do both Hakoda and Kya 💙)

[ID: a screenshot of Katara, Hakoda, Sokka, and Bato. Hakoda has his hand on Katara’s shoulder as they both look at Bato who is saying something, she has curious look on her face with her brows raised, while Hakoda looks exasperated. Sokka beside him his also looking curiously up at Bato, with one brow raised and the other furrowed. Bato has a neutral expression on his face as he speaks. End ID.]

- palms sweaty thoughts spaghetti, she tries to be practical bc she thinks someone needs to be but really her brain is like a runaway train, she sees something that needs doing and is like, guess ill do that now! and drops whatever she was doing first. she can get very anxious because of this because all the thing that need doing start to pile up because theyre all in her brain at once. that and as much as she tries to be practical she’s very impulsive, getting help from other people really helps alleviate this stuff

- interacting w ppl, when she was only part of her own smaller community she had a lot less toll on her, bc she knew everyone and was used to them, as she meets more people she gets really frustrated with how many people seem to refuse to say what they really mean. Katara is very straightforward herself and she says what she means, so even tho she gets more and more perceptive when interacting with new people, she resents how much she has to work just to decipher what people really mean half the time.

- caring for ppl, with people she cares about communicating is much easier bc she knows them, so she’s very open about her feelings around these people, and she can be hyper empathetic at times, but then sometimes she will say SUPER insensitive stuff off the cuff because she’s just very impulsive and she might regret it after the fact but she really struggles with apologizing because being wrong makes her feel like ppl are going to reject her

- perceptions, she knows what’s expected of her by the world, but she really rejects the idea that she has to stay in her role. still, she has internalized a lot of these expectations and tries to perform them, even when she sometimes struggles. beyond herself, she’s very certain about what she knows is wrong and has a strong moral code, she sees something wrong and she wants to fix it.

- she’s awful in school, not because she’s not smart, but she’s smart in ways that society does not appreciate. she doesnt care at all about all the worksheets and math she’s never gonna use, and all the history that got distorted, she’s much better at learning stuff on her own and she will go on deep dives of subjects she cares about and is super knowledgeable abt them.

also:

[ID: A cropped screenshot of Sokka with his arms extended outwards, palms flat as he gestures. He has a slight grin on his face with his mouth open to speak, eyebrows raised and looking at the viewer calmly. He’s wearing his usual blue tunic with the Earth Rumble XI belt along with his earth kingdom bag hanging across his chest. The text on the image says, “This post made by ADHD Sokka gang. End ID.]

[ID: a cropped screenshot of Hakoda, he has a serious expression on his face as he looks ahead. The text on the post reads, “This post made by ADHD Hakoda gang.” End ID.]

from this post (part of what inspired me to write these out) @meteor-sword now just katara needs one 😄

adhd aang next, i will finally live up to my url (will edit with a link when i post)

#a:tla #atla #katara #sokka #avatar the last airbender #avatar: the last airbender #hakoda #adhd headcanon #autistic headcanon #water siblings #image described

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latulasbian-1 · 4 years

Note

what are your thoughts on kankri? personally i never understood the appeal and im interested to hear your take since he Was on the b tier of your list

OK! Sorry for lateness but I only noticed your question at like 2:00 AM and needed a full tank of brain-gas to be able to convey my thoughts even semi-coherently.

So Kankri’s a weird one, probably one of the most convoluted and self-contradictory characters in Homestuck. Its fitting given he’s pretty much a one note joke and hussie’s one-note joke characters actually wind up being either his most oddly complex (see: equius and feferi for instance) or most sympathetic (see: Nepeta). Kankri’s a bit of both imo, though I wouldn’t call him a favorite for me.

Kankri’s characterization is built almost entirely on one fuckin’ note: “LOL AIN’T TUMBLR SJWs FUNNY AND ANNOYING!?!?!?”. If you disagree with this then I don’t even know what to tell you, bc everything from his style of long-winded monologues (that wind up running up on Hussie Ableism Moments bc in-narrative his infodumping is supposed to be annoying???) to his inability to take social cues to his supposed-to-be-interpreted-as-excessive use of trigger warnings to his unapologetic killjoy attitude to his supposed hypocrisy/”privilege” are literally all just a fucking layer cake of anti-SJW stereotypes. This is where the issue of how the fandom interprets Kankri kicks in, as people’s opinions on him (aside from a few diehards) tend to scale from “DAWWW CUTE WIDDLE UPPITY BEANBOY” to “fucking annoying neoliberal”. For the matter, neither of these are intended by Hussie, while he did design him to be cute he wasn’t meant to be hateable for leftist homestuck fans as a (neo-)liberal or faux leftist. Hussie just designed him after everyone hussie found annoying in the social justice community primarily on tumblr. Even his political monologues, though not WITHOUT hypocrisy and bullshit, tend to actually skew towards “pretty fucking reasonable hussie just thinks people being upset by bad stuff is stupid”.

Now, people cite Kankri being ableist in his criticism of certain other dancestors for ~conforming to stereotypes~, which yes from an in context scenario is pretty fucking bad. If someone IRL is dealing with their disability in a way you think seems pretty stereotypical keep that thought to yourself. HOWEVER, AS ONE OF THE MOST CRUCIAL POINTS TOWARDS KANKRI BEING GENERALLY SYMPATHETIC, WE GET THE META ELEMENT. Hussie, in writing a hypocritical mansplainer who goes on and on and on about everything thats politically incorrect about the people around him, practically beat-for-beat replicates talking points PEOPLE HAVE USED TO CRITICIZE HOMESTUCK ITSELF. YES! MITUNA’S PRESENTATION AS A CHARACTER IS 100% UNAMBIGUOUSLY AWFUL IN ITS PORTRAYAL OF PEOPLE WITH BRAIN INJURIES AND MENTAL DISORDERS. DAMARA IS A RACIST STEREOTYPE SO BAD HUSSIE SHOULD GET THROWN IN JAIL. INCEST IS BAD. If ANYONE in homestuck should’ve pulled the meta knowledge shit in post-canon, kankri would’ve been a WAYYYYYY better candidate than dirk for it, especially since kankri seems halfway to realizing he’s fictional just by political analysis of the story he’s in! Kankri seems to exist at the apex of Hussie’s confusion about fandom, given he’s baffled enough by people being obsessed with his work yet so intensely negative that he can only seem to think of them as obsessive manchild wierdos with no sense of rational thought. As someone who myself unironically loves Homestuck and yet have an entire third of my brain dedicated to ripping it apart on an ethical level, I can see some of myself in that turtleneck’d contrarian. Just because someone is a fan of something doesn’t mean they will or should unthinkingly defend it from all recourse. This is something homestuck as a whole struggles with, I think back to the aspect or extended zodiac quiz where one of the questions amounted to “someone is talking shit about a show you like, how do you respond” and there wasn’t even an answer for “actually listen to what they’re trying to say and consider if they could be right”. Kankri is a symbol of sorts for those critical enjoy-ers, in a way. A stupid silly not-that-meaningful way, but a way. I think people should reclaim him.

I’ve touched on it a bit before, but the last main sympathizing aspect of kankri for me (aside from personality things like his frankly unearned patience with a friend group that entirely fucking hates his guts) is a trait share by almost all the dancestors: Hussie’s fucking disturbing use of mental illness & psychiatric disorders with them. Between Kankri’s unwillingness to observe common social cues, his overtly poised and practiced manner of speaking, his obsession with using trigger warnings to warn off confrontation in leu of not just speaking his mind with everything, his tendency to cling to certain articles of clothing for long periods of time, his implied difficulty taking care of himself physically, and the fucking insulting “mom-friend useless-manchild-who-needs-nannying” dynamic he has with Porrim, he comes off (intentionally or no) as a beat-for-beat embodiment of an autistic person as seen through Hussie’s tropey and horribly ableist worldview. This is a common trait he shares with both Aranea and Mituna, as well as many of the other dancestors to lesser degrees (many of them, like Mituna, also have OTHER mental disorders flat-out-stated in such a way that makes their depiction just fucking confused and bad). For me, and for at least SOME other people, it makes unbiased critical reactions to them damn near impossible. They deserve better than how hussie can write them. In a lot of ways I have friends like Kankri, and Hussie’d almost fucking certainly find them just as embarrassing and annoying as he meant for Kankri to be.

So yeah, Kankri isn’t my favorite by any means but i don’t feel like i can or should condemn him. He’s fun. I’d watch his video essays.

And this isn’t even BEGINNING to touch on how much I loathe Porrim as an example of “good cool fun feminists that hussie can sexualize!” And her more open bisexuality than other trolls being both a tool for fetishization by Hussie and a fucking skin-crawling thing to use as a contrast for Kanaya’s status as either “the only confirmed lesbian in homestuck (until postcanon showed rose was a lesbian too)” or “the only lesbian troll in existence ever bc thats totally how sexuality would work with aliens” (sorry if you ascribe to the “all trolls are bisexual bc they’re supposedly binormative as a get-out-of-jail-free card for hussie’s hetero-ass ship tease shit” then. well get better soon)

(seriously though everyone who pulls the “kanaya is the only lesbian alternian” shit owes every lesbian 100 dollars)

#homestuck #kankri #longpost #discourse #Anonymous

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iamrealbuilder · 4 years

Text

Bill Buchalter interview

Bill Buchalter was a level designer for Sunstorm Interactive. He’s worked on 3 official add-on of Build Engine games: Cryptic Passage for Blood, Suckin’ Grits On Route 66 for Redneck Rampage, Caribbean Life for Duke Nukem 3D. Interview, November 2020: Corentin: Can you introduce yourself?

Bill Buchalter: My name is Bill Buchalter. I’m an avid gamer of all kinds – video games, board games, and especially tabletop RPGs. I’m currently a freelance writer for AAW Games (Adventure A Week Games) writing mini adventures for Dungeons & Dragons 5E. I live outside Indianapolis, IN with my wife Jane, our three kids, and our dog Roxi. When I’m not gaming, I also enjoy music, playing guitar, hiking, and camping.

C: With Sunstorm Interactive, you're credited for level design on Cryptic Passage, Caribbean Life and Route 66. How did you start working with Sunstorm and what do you remember from that time?

BB: In the mid 90’s, maybe around 1995 or 96, I was very into playing Duke Nukem 3D. Like most PC gamers at the time, I had played Castle Wolfenstein and Doom, and Duke Nukem just blew me away. Back in those days, when we played online, we would use a 3rd party program called KALI. You dialed up on your modem, logged onto the internet, and then used KALI as a portal to chat with other gamers and find someone to play with. The KALI software would then allow you to network together over the internet and play PVP matches. It was crude, and the lag could be horrible, but we didn’t know any better at the time and we loved it!

I remember I was in a B. Dalton bookstore in the mall one day (another relic of the 90’s that is long gone!) when I found a book called the “Duke Nukem 3D Level Design Handbook”. I was intrigued, and as I flipped through the pages it talked about a program on the Duke Nukem CD called Build, which allowed you to create your own levels. I had no idea Build existed, let alone how to use it. I bought the book and spent the next couple weeks diving into learning how to use Build. I was hooked!

Making my own maps quickly became an obsession. I would share them with my friends on KALI and I quickly earned a reputation for making user maps. I remember there was a map building competition, but I don’t recall who sponsored it. A guy named Robert Travis won the competition. When I saw his maps, I was blown away! His designs were so much more advanced than mine. He was using tricks I had never thought of to get lighting effects and set moods. I had to reach out to him to pick his brain.

Robert responded and we began talking and quickly figured out that we both lived in Indianapolis. He was working for Sunstorm at the time and invited me to come to their office to discuss level design. I met him there one evening, and he showed me some of the stuff he was working on. We ended up playing Duke all night on Sunstorm’s network with some of the other guys in the office. I was in heaven!

Robert introduced me to Anthony Campiti, the lead producer on Sunstorm’s next project – Cryptic Passage, an add-on for a Build engine game called Blood. They invited me to design some levels for the game and I jumped at the chance. Robert assigned me to design an opera house level and immediately I got pictures in my head of the theater scenes from Interview with a Vampire. I went home and worked furiously on designing the level. I was still rough, but with Robert’s help I tweaked things here and there and slowly learned his techniques. In the end I was really pleased with the level I’d designed. Robert and Anthony were happy too and asked me to design a second map specifically for deathmatch.

The next project Sunstorm was working on was Suckin’ Grits on Route 66, an add-on for another Build engine game called Redneck Rampage. Robert again asked if I’d like to be a part of that team and assigned me to build a truck stop level. Using a lot of the things I’d learned on Cryptic Passage, and the campy feel of the Redneck Rampage game, I had a lot of fun designing that level.

The last project I worked on for Sunstorm was Duke Nukem Caribbean Vacation. By this time Duke’s popularity was beginning to wane, and Quake was taking over. Robert was already starting to experiment and learn how to use the Quake engine. I was a new dad at the time (my first daughter had just been born) so unfortunately, I didn’t have the spare time to devote to learning a new engine. I barely had the time to design my level for Duke Caribbean, but I did manage to finish the casino level for that project. I do recall that Robert ended up going through in the end and changing a lot of the aspects of my level to fit the theme they had in mind. I remember being a bit disappointed and not really feeling like the level was “mine” because of so many of the changes. It was the last project I worked on for Sunstorm.

I kept in touch with Robert and Anthony for a while after that. They were branching out, working on other projects, and even trying to develop their own FPS game that I don’t think ever really got off the ground. Sunstorm was having the most success with their Deer Hunter line of games that at the time were selling well in Wal-Mart. Sadly, I eventually just lost touch with those guys.

I’m sure this is WAY more information than you were wanting (I’m a writer… I can’t help but go off the deep end!) but you dusted off some fond, old memories for me, so I apologize for walking so far down memory lane!

C: I see that you're still making maps, different kind of maps! This makes me wonder if maybe you were involved with W!Zone (a pack of maps for Warcraft 2 released by Sunstorm). Can you tell us a bit about that if possible?

BB: I didn’t have any hand in the W!Zone project for Sunstorm, but I loved the Warcraft series. As was common for many video gamers like me, who had roots in fantasy games like D&D, I played a lot of Warcraft and eventually got sucked into the world of MMOs with Ultima Online, Everquest, and World of Warcraft! If only I had back the time I sunk into those games!

These days I’m exclusively writing and designing for Dungeons and Dragons. I started about ten years ago writing for D&D Organized Play in a campaign called Living Forgotten Realms. I co-authored two adventures for that with my good friend, Michael Pearman, and authored a third adventure on my own. As you know from tracking me down via AAW Games, I’ve now authored six adventures for them, five of which are already published and one that is still in the works but should be released soon.

When I do manage to find time for video games, Diablo III is my game of choice these days. I’m looking forward to Season 22 starting here shortly, and like many others, I’m really hoping for something great with Diablo IV. I’ve been a huge fan of the series since the beginning, and even wrote an entire campaign for D&D 5E that translated the story of Diablo III into Dungeons and Dragons for the players in my home game! Thanks again for the opportunity to share some of this history. It was fun putting it all down and reliving those days!

C: There are two signatures in the Truck Stop level for Route 66. Do you remember anything about that ? There also several levels with no known credit : Fun Park, House of ill Repute, Mystery Dino Cave, Bigfoot Convention.

The signature on the truck stop is Route 66 was a joke! I was the only designer on that one. I just signed it "Billy Joe Jim Bob Buchalter" as a joke for bad redneck name. I wasn't the kind of guy that had to sign my maps the EXACT same way every time. :)

Other than the truck stop, I don't recall designing any other maps for Route 66. I pretty sure none of those you listed below were mine, but I don't recall whose they were.

Finally, here are some final comments Bill made after reading through some forum posts:

Wow, I am really quite humbled that you guys looked so deeply into my work! The fact that you could recognize my build style is pretty cool - I didn't even know I had a style! LOL. The truth be told, the reason you probably had so much trouble telling my levels from Robert's is because he was a big influence on me. I learned a lot from him and incorporated a lot of that into the stuff I built.

Its funny how reading through that thread you linked brought back memories... I remember now that my biggest disappointment from Duke Caribbean was that my only level in the game ended up being a secret level - that some people wouldn't even find it or ever play it. I was actually pretty excited about that level. I was the one that suggested a casino because my folks had retired to Vegas, so I'd been in a lot of the casinos there and had some great ideas for the map. I'd forgotten all about the restaurant I worked into it, and the big fish tanks.

There seems to be some debate about Robert. From what I remember, he was a really good guy. Maybe a bit tough to work for, but only because he really strived for our designs to be the best they could be, and he demanded that of both himself and the other designers. As I said before, I learned early on to accept criticism and critique and not take it personally. It was just Robert doing his job. I'll be the first to admit that I designed better levels thanks to the stuff I learned from Robert.

Someone on the message board made a very astute comment, basically to the effect that "Bill had to have other work out there. Sunstorm wouldn't hire an unproven guy off the street." But truth be told, that's exactly what they did! I hadn't done a single thing before working there. But I think a few things played in my favor. First, I lived in Indy, just 15 minutes from their office, so it was easy for me to go in and work directly with Robert. Second, while I didn't have anything officially published, I did have a disk full of the maps I'd designed on my own, and Robert thought I showed promise. I would design at home a lot, then go into the office a couple times a week and sit with Robert while he critiqued my work and offered advice on how to improve it.

I'll be honest - I'm blown away at the number of people STILL playing these old maps we made so many years ago. I watched a couple YouTube videos of a guy playing and reviewing Duke Caribbean and Blood Cryptic Passage. His high praise of both Full House and the Opera House really made my day. It's nice to know that people enjoyed my work.

_____________________________

Thanks a lot to Bill Buchalter for taking the time to answer these questions! Thanks also for sharing... “Big City” !

A Duke Nukem 3D map he created back in the day before joining with Sunstorm Interactive which was never released before! Screenshot:

Map download:

https://msdn.duke4.net/bigcity.zip

______

External link: Duke4 forum blog megathread: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/11471-blog-interviews-of-build-engine-video-games-developers/page__pid__353013#entry353013 The forum posts Bill read, mentionned above, can be found here: https://forums.duke4.net/topic/9418-duke-caribbean-multiplayer-levels/

#build #build-engine #blood #duke nukem #redneck-rampage #duke #nukem #duke nukem 3D #video games #route 66 #caribbean life #cryptic passage

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erekiosuncreativeideas · 4 years

Text

Reliving An Old Nightmare - Chapter 16

<= Chapter 15

Summary : Snatcher and Hat Kid's search for the Time Piece begins. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/22337299/chapters/57711178

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New chapter ! Since I was able to start writing the 19th chapter, which has been very hard to begin, I decided to post the 16th chapter. I hope you'll like it ! Don't hesitate to leave a comment if you did ! You have no idea how much it helps me writing !

Also, just wanted to announce that I commissioned something for the 18th chapter! And it's not a drawing. I sure wonder what it might be :)) I can't wait to post it with said chapter !

Happy reading !!

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Chapter 16

Just like Snatcher had expected, eating food even under his ghostly form was not an enjoyable experience. It was still better because he didn’t get to feel textures as much as when he was as a human. Though, the sense of touch still lingered a little bit. Normally, the ghost shouldn’t feel anything but, with the recent events… A lot of things had changed. Thus, when the little kid fed him a lot of stuff he knew nothing about, mostly sweets and junk food, the spirit had to resist the urge of throwing up from disgust. Gagging was something he never knew he could do as a ghost but, hey, you learn something new every day! Fortunately, the shade had managed to eat everything the kid had given him until he felt full enough. He still had no idea how being hungry was possible in his state, though it might very well be because of “Simeon”, just like the hat-wearing brat had explained it to him. Whatever that guy did with that Time Piece, it had changed the way Snatcher’s spectral body worked. And that was absolutely unacceptable for the shade, who loathed whoever or whatever was hiding behind Simeon’s identity. Yet, he couldn’t ignore how powerful they were, if they managed to create a whole dimension when even the alien kid could not.

Once the eating torture was over, he and the child started to elaborate a plan. While the kid would be able to track and locate the Time Piece while in the manor (thanks to her sixth sense he supposed), Snatcher would be the one leading them to it. The shade knew that breaking into the manor wouldn’t be easy with all the guards and servants watching the place. Fortunately, he knew the mansion enough to know how to avoid being found.

The kid took a few things with her, especially most of her hats, as well as her usual umbrella, just in case. It was best for them to be prepared, even more considering how dangerous their mission was. As soon as they were ready, the brat teleported them down again, in the backyard of the mansion. Unsurprisingly, the process was still extremely agonizing to the ghost, who felt his body change once again. He hated those sensations and hoped the return to the real dimension wasn’t going to be as uncomfortable.

As soon as they arrived in the rift, Snatcher couldn’t help but fall to the ground, nauseous. With his hand on his stomach, he had to take deep breaths in order not to throw up the food he had eaten earlier. He didn’t want to think about how illogical and stupid it was for it to have been “transferred” to his human body. How was that even possible? He wasn’t even sure the kid could answer his interrogations. Speaking of her, she ran to his side as soon as she noticed his malaise, visibly worried.

-“Snatcher!” stammered the child, lifting her hand to rub his back before hesitating and eventually stopping. She seemed to understand that the ghost didn’t want to be touched and she was right. The last thing the shade needed at the moment was another sensation his brain couldn’t deal with! He wasn’t sure he could remain focused on not throwing up if he had to feel another contact.

It was always weird to come back into this body because he had to feel all those things again, the clothes against his skin, the air filling his lungs, the saliva pilling up in his mouth… Compared to his short experience back in his original body, it was quite different and the change was always weird to handle, at least for a little while. Next to him, the kid remained silent, watching him carefully. If he had to be honest, Snatcher was quite relieved and thankful she was keeping her mouth shut, as her voice would be another unwanted distraction. In the meantime, the spirit continued to breathe calmly, doing his best to ignore the nausea, which was already dulling thanks to his effort, fortunately.

He finally took a look at his surroundings. They were in the back garden, behind a huge bush. The vegetation hid them from most of the guards’ eyes, which was a good thing, since the spirit still needed several minutes until he was able to stand up. The sun seemed to have set not long ago and the air was colder than before he left for the kid’s ship. He felt his body shudder from the chill, though it did help to reduce his nausea. It was dark outside, which helped them to fade into the background. Sure, he was the Prince and the guards normally wouldn’t do anything to him but… Vanessa and her accomplice might have asked them to take him back inside if they ever saw him out of his bedroom. Something like that wouldn’t surprise him. As for what they would do to the kid, on the other hand… He didn’t want to think about it now.

Little by little, he felt the unease go away and his mind clearing up with it.

-“Snatcher…?” insisted the little girl, seeing his malaise disappearing as well: “Sorry, you get used to it after a while…”

The shade had to think for a moment until he understood what the child was talking about: the teleportation process. God, how was she even able to feel so well after that? Well, he thought, maybe it was because he still wasn’t used to having organs yet. It was probably one of those things one could only get used to after more than a few days. Or, well, maybe it was just because the kid was an alien and their biology was simply too much different on the inside. That would explain quite a lot, if it was the case.

The ghost panted for a few seconds more and finally asked his ex-contractor about it:

-“How are you not sick every time you teleport? I feel like I’m going to puke…”

The small brat gave him a faint and sympathetic smile, a look that Snatcher definitely hated when it came to him:

-“Don’t worry, it was the same for me,” she replied, before trying to reassure him more: “I had a lot of training sessions with teleportation before I was even allowed to have my own ship, so I know how it’s like.”

She eventually changed her mind and started to rub the ghost’s back slowly. Snatcher didn’t feel much nauseous anymore and, contrary to what he believed, the contact actually helped him to feel better. She probably knew what to do with that kind of malaise, if what she said was true. Maybe she had had someone on her home planet to do the same for her. He still disliked the contact, but it was more out of pride rather than anything else.

After a while, the ghost felt better enough to stand up, still watched carefully by the girl’s blue eyes. He could tell she was still worried about him and, truth to be told, he wasn’t particularly reassured about his state either. The spirit took a final deep breath and straightened: it wasn’t the moment to think about that. They needed to move and get inside the mansion!

-“Time to get going, kiddo,” he said, decided.

-“Are you sure?” whispered back the kid, still visibly anxious: “We can wait a little more if-”

-“No, I’m fine,” retorted Snatcher darkly, not liking being pitied over: “We’re doing this now.”

The hat-wearing brat nodded, though she looked unconvinced. Snatcher scanned the area: the guards mostly stayed motionless, unless they heard something suspicious. Luckily, both he and the child had been discreet so far. However, they would need to be very careful when trying to get closer to the mansion: even if it was dark, it was still very much possible to perceive figures in the darkness. If these guards were just like the ones he used to know… They were pretty serious and dedicated to their job.

-“So, you’re still sure it’s in there?” questioned Snatcher, just to be sure. Next to him, the kid shifted, apparently ill-at-ease.

-“It is inside, but…” she started, gulping with difficulty: “It’s weird. I know it’s in there, I can feel it… But it feels like it’s not the same?”

-“What do you mean?” pressed the shade, not liking the look on her face and the way she played with her hands nervously.

-“Well, uh… I can feel my Time Pieces when they’re around, it’s like a basic instinct for me. But this time, its aura feels… Different,” explained the little girl.

-“Different how?”

The brat frowned, thinking for a while, as if she had trouble putting words over said feeling:

-“It’s like… Vaguer? I know it’s in there, I know which way it is… The thing is I can’t help but have a very bad feeling about this. It just feels different! I don’t know how I can explain it. It’s weird.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, the unease intensified on her face. So there was a problem. Snatcher had trouble imagining the kid exaggerating it: after all, she was the time expert! Though, knowing how she felt about the object they were looking for… The spirit couldn’t help but feel wary at the thought. She was right. Even if he couldn’t sense anything, the ghost knew something was wrong.

-“You think it’s a trap?” he asked her, glowering as well. Wouldn’t it be too easy if they found the Time Piece inside? Wouldn’t it have been smarter to hide it somewhere in the village? It was a place he couldn’t go without drawing attention to himself… From what he gathered, no one seemed to be aware of the hatted child’s presence… So why would Vanessa and her accomplice hide the precious object exactly where he was? It was suspicious.

-“I don’t know…” answered the kid, grimacing: “I still feel it inside, so it’s definitely there… Though I have no idea where this weird sensation comes from.”

Snatcher remained silent and looked at the manor. They still had a countdown problem: if they didn’t try anything now, the rift would collapse, taking them with it in the process. The ghost didn’t want to know what it would feel like.

-“Well…” he paused, sighing: “Guess there is only one way to find out.”

The child nodded, however, her face showed that she was still anxious. He couldn’t blame her.

-“So… How are we going to break in?” then asked the hatted kid, still hesitant.

The question took Snatcher aback when it really shouldn’t have: the reason was that he had thought about it and he had come up with an option that was… Not ideal. Most of the doors were closed at night, and often guarded by at least two soldiers. But there was one door that wasn’t guarded: the trapdoor leading to the cellar. And Snatcher did not want to go through there, no matter how urgent the situation was. There was no way he would float or walk in there ever again, dead or alive! Just thinking about it was bringing him horrible memories of his last moments shackled to this wall, feeling the cold finally numbing the pain in his body… His bones had broken with his weight pulling him down and he only died hours after that. It had seemed like days, months, years, centuries to him… At the time, he had lost all hope of ever getting out and only waited for death to save him, to end this awful and terrible suffering both hurting his body and his heart. How could Vanessa have done this to him? After everything they had experienced together? It had taken him years to even consider that he wasn’t the faulty one and that maybe Vanessa was the problem.

And now he would have to relive all those memories again? Absolutely not.

-“Snatcher?” the little voice cut his thoughts short once again and he lowered his eyes to the small child, whose worried expression only intensified when she saw his expression. He couldn’t even imagine the face he was making at the moment. But he didn’t have to be extremely smart to see that the child quickly understood what was going on in his mind. Her face crumpled instantly and her teeth were clenched. The ghost couldn’t help but frown at the sight in front of him: she was pitying him, wasn’t she? Why? There was no reason to, it all belonged to the past now. Yet, some old wounds never fully healed…

He jumped silently when he felt the child’s little hands take his, squeezing them tight as her eyes were staring at him with compassion and concern. God, he loathed being looked at this way. The spirit’s reflex was to pull his hand away, not wanting to admit the contact had felt comforting, at least for a few seconds. Yeah, right! Yet, he couldn’t deny the tinge of guilt when he was rewarded with the child’s hurt look, though it was brief. The kid seemed to understand his need for personal space and took a step back, to Snatcher’s great relief. He didn’t need contact now. The ghost looked at his hands: he was shaking. His legs felt weak and his heart was beating fast inside his chest. Great. He realized that he had stopped breathing only when the kid started to talk again:

-“We… We don’t have to go through there. I’m sure there are plenty of ways we can enter the mansion!” assured the brat, trying to be reassuring. However, Snatcher knew better. He wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t some dumb child who needed comfort and sympathy, especially coming from her. This was not what he needed.

Snatcher scoffed and lifted his hands as he replied, with a voice full of sarcasm:

-“Oh yeah? And how else are we going to break in? There are guards everywhere!”

The child seemed offended at his retort but didn’t say anything back. She probably knew it wasn’t the right time to argue with him and she was right to think so. They often argued normally, but this was different and the girl knew it. She bit the bullet and only sighed, not answering back. Instead, her eyes scanned the mansion, looking for any way in. Snatcher imitated her, ready to take every possible risk if it meant he wouldn’t have to go in there again. Everything but this.

The shade could see his bedroom window from there, but it was way too high, and the door was closed on the inside. He could also see Vanessa’s window, though this was definitely not an option. He scanned several other windows until he felt the kid’s elbow nudging him.

-“Hey, look!” she exclaimed, still softly not to be heard by any guard. The shade looked in the direction she was pointing at and his eyes widened. The girl was pointing at an ajar window! It was one of the kitchen ones. He almost didn’t believe it: it was too good to be true!

He mindlessly let a sigh of relief escape him at the realization that there was actually another solution. In the corner of his vision, he could see the child beaming proudly at him. The spirit tried to ignore the warm feeling rising in his chest at the sight. This was ridiculous. Though he supposed she did deserve a thank-you, especially considering how patient she had been after what happened on the ship. She still looked extremely tired, but it was now a bit hidden by her overjoyed expression. He could tell she wanted to jump around everywhere in excitement, only managing to hold herself back because she knew they had to stay discreet.

The ghost clenched his teeth as he extended his hand towards her, patting her head briefly. He couldn’t believe he just did that. But she did deserve it, he supposed…

-“It’s only a window, calm down! There are way more important things to be excited about than a dumb window!” But, after a few seconds, he muttered a quick “thank you” that he was sure the kid had heard, seeing how her smile widened even more. The contact already made her bounce up and down!

-“And stop smiling like that, will you? You look stupider than usual!” grunted the ghost, knowing fully well that it would only make the brat happier than she already was. God, this kid would never let him forget that, would she?

The shade then straightened. No more fooling around now. It was time to get serious. He brought the child back to task and she replied by saluting him as if he were her boss. Snatcher sighed and decided to ignore her, conscious that she would never get back to the situation at hand otherwise. It apparently worked as she looked back at the kitchen window, her joyful expression soon replaced by a serious and determined one. How would they reach it without being seen by the guards? They needed to be discreet. Yet, it was going to be hard to cross the whole backyard quick enough.

Snatcher didn’t even the time to turn towards the kid as he heard a poofing sound behind him. Just as he was about to ask what was that noise, he felt himself being lifted up from the ground. The sudden movement caused him to jump from the surprise. He realized that the child had taken him onto her very small shoulder, without flinching or losing her balance. He lowered his head to stare at her in bewilderment: how was she able to hold a fully grown adult? She was just a kid!

… An alien kid with a biology which was probably completely different than a human one.

He was going to order her to put him back on the ground when he saw the new hat on the brat’s head: it was the time stop one. Snatcher’s face grew pale as he started to understand what she was planning to do.

-“Wait… Wait, wait, wait, no-” stuttered the ghost, trying to persuade her to not do what she was about to do. But the child only lifted her head to look at him mischievously, definitely defying his demands. She started to run. And then the ghost blinked. When he opened his eyes again, everything had changed around them. The vegetation had disappeared, replaced by walls, counters and cupboards, tables and chairs… They were not outside anymore: the kid had taken them into the kitchen in a blink, literally. The hatted child put Snatcher back on the floor and the spirit had to hold to one of the counters to stomach what had happened. This… Was not something he thought he would experience. It was definitely weird, though clearly not as bad as teleportation.

-“Hey, Snatcher, you okay?” whispered the little girl, looking at him with a malicious smile. That brat…!

-“You could have warned me you wanted to do that…” grunted the shade, slowly pulling himself together. This mission was not going to be a simple walk in the park… Especially not if the kid decided to keep up this kind of risky behaviour. They only had one chance, now was not the time for hazardous stunts.

The ghost turned back to the window, which had remained open, and threw a careful glance outside. No one seemed to have noticed them, fortunately. Still, what the kid had done could have ruined their chances and Snatcher couldn’t remain silent about it. He slowly closed the window, not wanting to draw attention. He then turned back towards the kid, glaring at her:

-“Next time, don’t be that reckless, we can’t be found.”

The child only rolled her eyes, annoyed:

-“Yeeees, dad!”

The shade grew pale immediately and almost lost his balance to the kid’s words. What? His reaction must have been really funny to her as she started giggling in the palm of her hand. She was making fun of him! Anger and indignation arose inside of him: how dared she? Plus, this was not the time!

-“I swear, once we’re out of this mess, I’ll make sure to-”

Snatcher didn’t have the time to finish his sentence. Footsteps resonated in the next hallway, coming closer and closer. The spirit could feel his heart sinking in his chest as he realized that someone was going to enter this room in a few seconds. They had to hide! The same look of panic had replaced the child’s playful expression. She probably understood it as well and her stance was much more tensed than before. The shade looked all around themselves, trying to find any good hiding spot. But the steps were coming closer and closer. The kid quickly kneeled down and took his hand, pulling him with her. The ghost mindlessly followed her, too distressed to think. They both crawled under the table, just in time. The moment they hid, the door opened and two guards entered the room. Thankfully, the tablecloth was long enough to keep them hidden from the men’s sight. They could still see their feet walking around.

-“See?” said one of the guards, punching the other’s shoulder mockingly: “I told you there was no one there. You’re so paranoid, relax.”

Next to him, the kid was holding her breath, keeping her mouth shut by covering it with both hands. Snatcher himself did his best to stay silent. His whole body was frozen, not moving an inch, and he was barely breathing as well. The feet continued moving.

-“Yeah… You’re right,” replied the other, embarrassed: “No one would break in. I thought I heard something, but it was probably my imagination.”

The spirit’s eyes locked with the brat’s scared ones. Well, now she seemed to understand what he meant earlier! But it was too late! He glared at her to prove his point, but she just lowered her hands to stick her tongue out in response. The ghost’s anger intensified. Oh, if only he had his powers! But he still couldn’t use them under this form, so the only thing he could do at the moment was glaring at her even more.

-“Yeah it was, just like I told you!” retorted the first one with a sneering tone: “Come on, let’s go back to work.”

The guards left the room after what seemed like an eternity to Snatcher. Once the door closed behind them, he and the brat waited for a bit before daring to move an inch. When the spirit thought they were finally safe, he crawled away from the table, clearly exasperated by the hat-wearing child’s attitude.

-“What was that?” he whispered furiously, lifting his arms in an interrogative and irritated gesture.

The little girl pouted at his reproach, staring at the ground as she grumbled:

-“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think they would hear us from there.”

The ghost would have facepalmed if he wasn’t trying to stay as focused as possible:

-“Well, duh! Of course they were going to hear us! You weren’t exactly cautious as far as I know!”

-“Yeah, fine, my bad. Can we move on now?” retorted the kid, annoyed. Snatcher was doing his best to stay calm despite his ex-contractor’s insolence. She definitely didn’t like being told what to do, which was a shame, since it was exactly what was going to happen.

The shade pinched his nose and took a deep breath. He could do this.

-“Listen, I’m the one who knows this manor. So, from now on, when I tell you to hide or to stay quiet, you obey me. The only thing you need to care about is telling me where that Time Piece is. Is that clear or do you need me to explain it in a more murderous way?”

The child sighed and nodded, still very much displeased by the discussion. However, she wasn’t in a position to say anything against it, so she reluctantly agreed. Well, that was the first step, at least.

-“Okay, so, about that Time Piece,” said the spirit: “Do you know where it is?”

His interlocutor took a moment to think, closing her eyes for a few seconds. The process seemed to be harder than usual as she started to frown. It was enough to tell the ghost that the search wasn’t going to be as easy as he hoped.

-“Hum… It’s weird…” started the brat, thinking harder: “I can feel it, it’s upstairs but… It’s very vague. I feel its aura above us, but I can’t exactly tell you where it is. It’s like there is something hiding it from me.”

Snatcher wasn’t surprised. The idea of “Simeon” and Vanessa not taking precautions to protect the precious artefact would have been rather absurd. If he were in their shoes, hiding the Time Piece would have been one of the first things he would have done. But, at least, they could work with a warm and cold kind of game. It wouldn’t be easy and they would probably need to check some of the rooms without being found by the guards patrolling in the hallways… But it was still a lead.

The spirit nodded. They could work with this. Well, they had to if they didn’t want to disappear with the rift’s collapse. It’s not like they had any choice in the matter anyway.

-“Well…” guessed the ghost: “I suppose we should get going then.”

The kid agreed. Both of them walked to the door, ready to start this treasure hunt for their survival. Deep inside, the shade couldn’t help but have a very bad feeling about this. But how hard could it be? He knew the manor perfectly and the kid had enough magical hats in case of emergency! What could go wrong?

The ghost opened the door carefully, throwing a glance in the hallway to make sure no one was there.

They had a treasure to find.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Welp, what could go wrong ? :)

I hope you liked that chapter ! The last drawing is one of my favourites, I had so much fun drawing it. I hope you'll like the next chapters as well ! And thank you SO MUCH for all your support, it makes me feel so happy reading your comments and theories !!

See you later ! Take care in the meantime !

Chapter 17 =>

#A Hat In Time #snatcher #hat kid #fanfiction #my art #Reliving An Old Nightmare #Raon #ahit

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always-la-belle-epoque · 5 years

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hi what is mash and why do you love it so much because i need to know if i need to love it too thanks

Hello, anon! It took a bit because I wanted to put time into my answers, so here you are!

What Is M*A*S*H:

M*A*S*H is a tv show about doctors/nurses stationed at a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (M*A*S*H) unit on the frontlines of the Korean War. The show focuses on the medical staff as they desperately try to save the lives of young soldiers. Many of the doctors are draftees and they are faced with trying to cope with the horror of a war they want no part of and that is the absolute antithesis to their professional calling. They fight against death every day, struggle against military bureaucracy, and try to keep their sanity. Often that deep stress is released in humor, practical jokes, and wildly unmilitary antics, but the true costs and realities of war are never treated lightly. I’ve never seen another show that can make me laugh so hard and then turn on a dime to make me cry just as deeply a second later. The show is a beautiful examination of human nature, heart, found family, loss, helplessness, despair, exhaustion, humanity, and hope,.

M*A*S*H ran for 11 years, from 1972-1983 and the finale, Goodbye, Farewell and Amen, is still the most-watched television broadcast in history (the NYC sewer nearly faced collapse because people would all flush the toilet at the same time during commercials, and the streets were totally empty of cars as over half the country, 150+ mil people, watched the finale live together all at the same time. Can you imagine?!). Plus, it’s been in continuous syndication for 45 years which is impressive. M*A*S*H is for all generations, it resonates far beyond the era in which it was made, or which it was made about.

Why Do I Love M*A*S*H So Much (in general):

I don’t think there is another show out there in the history of the world that has written such narratively wonderful, deeply moving character arcs. I don’t know if there’s another show out there where the characters grow so much from their relationships with one another. Or a show that depicts masculinity in such a healthy, tender way. It is normal on M*A*S*H for male characters to: Cry. Hug. Tuck each other in. Hold hands. Perform emotional labor. Actively listen. Dance together. Sleep with teddy bears (and not have it be a joke). Admit they were wrong. Change and grow from being wrong. Etc, etc.

And while Major Margaret Houlihan is the only female lead, her character arc is the most beautiful of any character I have ever watched or read. The show doesn’t start out particularly feminist, but it definitely ends that way (both male and female characters evolve here and it’s wonderful). And if more tv shows had characters half as complex as Margaret Houlihan, tv would be a whole lot more interesting, and women would be a whole lot farther along toward equality, imo.

Why Do I Love M*A*S*H So Much (the personal):

I was 15 or 16 when I started watching M*A*S*H. I was going through a very dark time in my home life. But my Mom would usually have M*A*S*H on while making dinner or just after. It was their weird time of day where it seemed like a truce between us. Sometimes I’d even sit all 5’8 of my gangly teenage body on her lap and we’d just watch like that with her arms around me (which given that things were darkly terrible the rest of the time it was like being a small kid again in a way I really needed). We’d talk about the characters. We’d talk about the stories. We both loved Margaret Houlihan (it’s interesting that Margaret has the most valuable traits I learned from my Mom - things I like most about her and am grateful she taught me despite all the bad stuff).

Soon I was racing home after school and jamming in a blank VHS so that I could record each ep. I’d cross reference between tv guide and IMDB to try to see if any eps that I hadn’t seen yet would be on so I could record them for my collection. I made an elaborate cataloging system because they weren’t shown in order! And some eps were shown only rarely!! (I’m only 28, it amazes me that this was how things were not that long ago lol).

Anyway, the DVD box set came out and I saved up alllllll my $ for it. Thank goodness, because then I got sick and for a few years the M*A*S*H characters were the most consistent and truest friends I had. The show is deeply personal for me. I can watch it over, and over, and over. It makes me laugh, and weep, and cheer. It’s like having friends. Like having family.

Should You Love M*A*S*H too?

I want you to love M*A*S*H. I want everyone to love M*A*S*H! And M*A*S*H holds up. It’s still radically progressive. It’s still - in this time where North Korea is a frequent headline, where we have a government we do not trust, in a world where we have been at war since 2001 - deeply relevant.

Here’s the thing though: it was made in the 70s, about events in the 1950s, and this is 2019 tumblr-land. You’ve all read the roasts about lack of critical thinking skills on this website and ability to contextualize, and those posts are unfortunately not wrong. And the world has changed - and changed for even better than what was, at the time, truly radical! Even terms that were the liberal, pc term in the 70s have changed now and are not liberal or pc anymore which for the 2019 watcher might raise eyebrows. But the show is extremely pointed about calling out racism, homophobia, sexism, military fetishism, colonization, etc. I think maybe the only other show I can think of that goes so hard at dogged and relentless political call outs would be One Day at a Time. So I feel protective of M*A*S*H because in 50 years maybe we will look back at ODaaT and say yikes about certain things, though that feels crazy to say now.

If you do want to watch, here’s my advice (pull down your pants and slide on the ice (sorry, omg M*A*S*H jokeee)):

Do not start with S1. Start with S4, or S5 even. For one thing, there are some cast changes at the start of S4 so you get intro-ed to everyone again in “Welcome to Korea pt 1 & 2” and “Change of Command.” It’s a really good starting point to see a lot of characters on the brink of change. Don’t get me wrong, I still really love S1-3 but the characters haven’t grown yet. I love going back because I know them so well, but if you’re just meeting them, I recommend getting to know them in the middle of their journey, watch them evolve, and then go back and see where they started. And I think Col. Potter/BJ really elevated the tone of the show.

Because M*A*S*H is an older tv show, most people who love M*A*S*H never watched the show in order because we could only watched it in syndication! And you don’t really need to watch in order! In fact, CBS had the final call for episode order so sometimes even the air order is different than the writing, filming, intended order. Also, because they had 11 years of content over a 3 years of war, the show itself isn’t chronological. Due to probability (there are just more Potter/BJ eps) I saw more S4+ eps when I was first watching the show so again that’s my newbie preference. Now that it’s on Hulu (and remastered OMG) it might be tempting to watch in order, but really do recommend skipping around or at least starting later in for sure. You’ll learn context as you go (recs below). Then once you get the characters and their arcs it’s suuuuper fascinating to watch in order.

Fight me: Is everyone bisexual on this show??! Yes, yes they are. This is where I go full 2019 tumblr-brain, lol, but looking back I think it’s one of the reasons I loved it before I understood myself. It’s gentle, tender, pretty wavy. Alan Alda’s Hawkeye Pierce is, like, arguably canonically bi, like I even wonder if he was intentionally written/played that way on the dl. It’s pretty blatant?? And don’t even get me started on Margaret Houlihan. Godddddddd.

On that note, and maybe you will fall over, but Margaret and Hawkeye are my actual, #1, forever OTP. Which is weird for you, dear readers, I’m sure, as I run a v strict wlw blog and I’m very proud about that. But broken people who heal and change and grow because of the other is my tea, jam, and bread (”crackers and jam! too bad!” ;) ), and so far the writing of other characters and relationships hasn’t a hope of even coming into the range of depth these characters have (obvs not just wlw ships, all other mlw ships are The Worst as well, we’re all doomed, why does tv suck). But anyway, I would take them over any ship any day of the week goombye (but also….shipping Margaret is kinda like….not the point of Margaret Houlihan).

It’s worth noting that M*A*S*H has a character named Maxwell Klinger who wears a dress to try to get out of the army via a Section 8 (previously known as a “psycho”) discharge (remember lgbtq was still classified as a mental illness, smh). Obviously, this is potentially triggering. And, obviously, not okay in today’s world. To me the show does call out that it is the policies/laws/politics that are crazy, not Klinger. I think there are still some fairly modern ideas in his portrayal in that anyone who treats him like he is crazy, or is disrespectful, is very pointedly shown to be bigoted/an antagonist. Klinger is excellent at his job, brave, loyal, true, and that’s all anyone who is a protagonist cares about (and I do think they try to show to the extend they could during the time it aired that even if Klinger were not doing it for a discharge, they would respond the same way). Fwif, imo, Klinger isn’t played as a one note joke for wearing dresses, in fact, to an extent, he does wear them utterly sincerely. He loves, deeply loves, clothes and fashion because loving something gives him something to live for. It becomes his passion, not a gag. The gag is that Klinger will do anything to get out of the war through any available loophole he hears about (having an imaginary pet camel, eating 10 sausages in a single day, eating a jeep, trying to get into West Point aka join the military to get out of the military), etc. His comrades in arms treat him very sincerely and are very protective. Early on, a jeep comes in with wounded and Radar pulls Klinger away from the blood, “careful, you’ll get your dress dirty” in the most serious, sweet way. Col Potter is always very serious and sincere about telling Klinger when one of his dresses is a fav, and Klinger positively glows. When Klinger has to trade his dress collection to local women in exchange for shelter for the wounded during a bug out, Col. Potter, regular army in his 3rd war, tells Klinger (who is in tears) that it’s the finest act of bravery he has ever seen (and he means it). When Margaret desperately wants to look pretty and Klinger pulls out one of his best frocks and helps her dress in it - Margaret who grew up in combat boots wanting a crew cut - it’s pretty emotional (and I bawl when he gives her the wedding dress, goddd). As for Klinger himself, he’s one of my favorite characters. He has the biggest heart and I love him (and yes, I might feel differently if I had a different life experience than I do - that is why I’m flagging this as something that might not be for everyone, or might be trigger - because history already is triggering, and not everyone might be as moved by him as I am).

If you’re a 30 Rock fan you will know the star Alan Alda as Milton Greeen, Jack Donaghy’s father, and if you love Beauty and the Beast you will know that the actor who voiced Cogsworth is a major (lol pun) character in S6-11! But that’s all crazy to me because they are always M*A*S*H, first and forever, and always in my mind! I can’t believe they’re all in their 80s now, or that so many of them have passed. :( They are truly my whole heart, my family, my home.

If you do want to watch, recommend you start with the following eps (omg this list is long but it feels so short):

Welcome to Korea pt 1 + 2 (s4)

Change of Command (s4)

Aid Station (s3)

Death Takes a Holiday (s9)

Carry on, Hawkeye (s2)

Bug Out pt 1 + 2 (s5)

Dear Sigmund (s5)

Period of Adjustment (s8) *my first ep ever :,)

The Bus (s4)

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet (s1)

Tuttle (s1)

Crisis (s2)

O.R. (s3)

5 O'Clock Charlie (s2)

The Nurses (s5)

The Interview (s4)

Movie Tonight (s5)

Abyssinia, Henry (s3)

Hepatitis (s5)

Your Hit Parade (s6)

Peace on Us (s7)

Eye for a Tooth (s7)

Old Soldiers (s8)

Life Time (s8)

Stars and Stripes (s8)

Hey, Look Me Over (s11)

There’s a million more things I could say about the show. I feel like I haven’t summarized it justly. If anyone wants to chime in with why they love M*A*S*H, what your fav ep is, etc, please do :)

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bma-2020 · 5 years

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Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

#out.#illness cw #health cw #food mention #ive been writing this since noon and its now two pm so this is great #i’s usually put this under a read more but... maybe most people dont deserve a read more rn lol #their behavior will keep being awful if its not pointed out to them so #im done im gonna go welt up from hugging my cat and cry for a bit because i feel mean

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