#or at least he wasnt when I checked idk maybe they put him in during one of the patches for some reason

[clownjacket]

If Kipperlilly DOES end up betraying Porter/Jace as part of a secret other scheme she has (whether good or evil) and it has to do with saving Lucy, I just know she’s going to be a bitch about it and pull a ‘sorry, I only save High Five Heroes’ before leaving her other friends to die or some shit. And then she will take her final form: Magic Betty from Adventure Time, betraying her allies and saving her frost gf at the expense of the world. It would also parallel what Ankarna is going through (‘your girlfriend’s out of town, it sucks’, becoming a little imperialist rage machine under the influence of Porter/Sunstone but not being able to fully turn on Lucy despite going against her values and turning into a violent weirdo). This is my wish. My dream. I am manifesting it. Magic Betty Kipperlilly I believe in you.

[arolesbianism]

Alright boys pack it up no more rain world posting new oni dlc is coming out in less than a week

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Okay, Im onto ep 6 and I think I kinda figured out why I suddenly got so bored bc like. yea this is really boring in general rn but I wasnt that suffering this much when I started and I think its bc they dont have those cutscenes in the beginning anymore. I feel like those gave me a lil something to look forward to and make this a bit less tedilus but now theyre not there anymore :( also I really wanna see Zane again and it pains me that he doesnt show up until like ep 40 smth

Okay, I think I'll probably put a small timeskip here and do like the equivalent of a montage of Aphmau repairing her house n interacting w/ the villagers some more

So yea, Aphmaus moving into her new house, thats a good opportunity for some Aph/Emmalyn bonding and interactions w/ the other villagers. Also, depending on how this episode goes, I might want either Garroth or Zenix to help out too, but I'll wait to see how this ep goes first

Oh god this entire episode is literally just Aphmau moving huh

Maybe Aphmau built a lil chicken enclosure thingy during that aforementioned timeskip and some other stuff like more wooden paths n stuff

Anyway, Aphmau finishes moving in, maybe we can have some villagers like her friends n stuff wanting to celebrate that a little or smth but shes just like "nah sry guys, Im tired from all this moving" and takes a nap

Vischers death scene is fine ig?? I'll probably tweak it a lil bc it honestly just seems kinda comical the way it is now. (Ive read some of the comments and one of them even mentions that they laughed at Vischers death here, but that it was pretty impactful in the remake, so maybe I'll watch that for some ideas) I'll probably add a close up or too or maybe write that scene from a perspective that focuses more on him

Aphmau in the OG doesnt wake up from that explosion at the docks even though she lives pretty close by?? Idk, I feel like theres not really a point to that and I think having her wake up all confused and afraid, maybe going out to check on the village first before then going to the docks would be better? If we completely take out that scene of Vischers death and just see Aphmau sleep and then get woken up by this loud explosion noise, it could even make for some good tension

Also, theres this weirdo outside of Aphmaus house?? I'll move it back to a bit later but keep it the same otherwise bc I dont remember wth hes doin there

At the docks, I think we should linger a bit more on the destruction and just generally have Aphmau be a bit more upset but otherwise everything is the same, Zenix n Paul are still there even though its pretty late in the night/early in the morning (maybe add a detail abt Paul looking tired)

I'm keeping the Convo between Zenix n Aphmau as well as the one between Paul n Aphmau the same, but I'm switching their places so she approaches Paul first bc hes the civilian, he just lost his best friend and would probably have the bigger reaction and just be someone that Aphmau would be a bit more worried about as opposed to the guard who should be more used to stuff like this

So yea, shes still kinda distraught but goes over to Garroth like Zenix told her to, their convo is also the same as the OG

Aphmau accepts and tries to make plans for building a boat and for potentially rebuilding the docks while she goes around town. Shes thinking about how exactly she'll approach this bc building a boat is kinda difficult on your own but shes like not supposed to tell anyone else that this happened while walking around the village and sees Brendon, so she goes over to talk to him

The convo plays out like in the OG with her telling him about the docks but ommiting Vishers death. Also, it takes place outside somewhere, not just. in his house that Aphmau just waltzted into bc she can

She feels relieved that she has at least one person to help her know and decides that thats probably enough, maybe have her walk around and consider telling it to other people before she comes to that conclusion though

After that, she gets home and just keeps trying to think up plans on how to fix things, its p difficult when someone died and shes supposed to build a boat so she can bring his bff and his dead corpse home but yknow, she manages. somehow. Alternatively, she could have a sort of quiet reflective and/or mourning moment instead, Im not fully sure in which direction I wanna go in when it comes to her character

OKAY im done w/ this one I hope I can work up to at least ep 10 today

[glassesandkim]

ok so anon sent me a rant that i asked for and I want to answer it but under a cut so we don’t have to spam the dash. 

Click under the read more if you want to read me and anon’s rant on grey’s anatomy s17 finale

anon said: “Magston... what the hell lmao. They literally had a whole plot in 1716 about postponing their wedding so they could do it right (with family) and then winston was getting all mad about it and thought maggie was backing out (even though its a pandemic and theyve only been engaged for like what? 3 months tops). Then they flew their older parent/grandparent out (in the middle of a pandemic and severely affects old people), only to have them object to the wedding at the ceremony and then they postpone anyways???? What???? They couldnt have done that over the phone lmao like I liked the idea of magston a lot in s16 but their arc this season made me hate them so much lol. Sometimes I think theyre less developed than schmico (like which writer decided to marry them this season ????? Fireable offence imo considering they have no previous relationship history Im pretty sure and Im pretty sure they were only dating/engaged for like a year???? Even if the show was ending a moving in together/dating/engagment endgame would have worked for them? Anyways).”

First of all: what the fuck is grey’s obsession with marriage?????

It might just be me, but take it from someone who worked in the wedding industry for 3 years, and lemme tell you: weddings are fun, beautiful, amazing, but they’re also hella for the privileged. YOU KNOW IT CAN COST UP TO $700 CAD TO HIRE AN OFFICIANT??? So the job Richard had? He could’ve made an easy few hundies. 

I really hate how fucking fake and badly acted that scene was when Maggie’s dad and Winston’s grandma objected to the marriage. Why did they wait until then and EMBARRASS both of them???? Like you said, what the hell was the point of last episode’s whole debacle???? They could’ve just not done that plot in ep 16 and had them get married anyway in ep 17 and had someone object to their marriage. 

Can’t believe Maggie flew two old people around the country during a goddamn pandemic. How irresponsible is it???? Again, I don’t know if it’s because they’re just way more relaxed in the states than where I’m from but wth....

anon said: Okay and then amelink. I LOVED how amelia was written this episode, but in the context of the time jump it was kind of weird? Like amelia was feeling this way about marriage/more kids for 8-9 months and never even hinted to link that she wasnt interested? And I like to think link respects amelia a lot, so why didnt he bring up marriage again before proposing? Or ask mer/maggie what they thought about him proposing? I can understand her not talking to link about her concerns but I find it hard to believe she didnt bring it up with mer/maggie once in that time frame? Idk it was just rushed and weird. And amelia clearly wasnt okay with the fostering thing and he still went with it anyways lol.

I can’t remember and I don’t care enough to go watch the ep, but did Amelia and Link move out of Mer’s house? 

The only good thing about this episode was Amelia, especially her conversation with Richard (in that not very Seattle courtyard rofl HONESTLY GREY’S PUT SOME EFFORT IN YOUR SETS. YOU KNOW YOUR ENTIRE SHOW IS SET IN SEATTLE RIGHT/???? LIKE MAKE IT RAIN IN THAT COURTYARD TO REFLECT HOW AMELIA FEELS IDK GAWD)

I also can’t believe Amelia would just be like, welp! I guess I’m a double mom now of my own child and this random crotch child that my baby daddy promised to his best friend. And oh ya, I don’t want anymore children but shhh its a secert.

I mean, I know Amelia technically fostered before but ............. (i’ll continue this in the next segment)

anon said: And the fostering thing... Jo’s plot was weird this ep too lmao. Like maybe Im just dumb but they never explained why she failed her background check? Idk this plot would have been a much better season long arc than a one episode arc lol. Although I think the single parent thing might be fun next season (the weird jo/levi friendship will be worth it if we get schmico babysitting)

They didn’t really explain why she failed her bg check. I also don’t know how money can fix her failed background check.

Also how fucking shady is it that Link and Amelia fostered a child? Wouldn’t the foster people want to give a child to a stable family who, let’s think, ARE MARRIED and HAVE A HOME OF THEIR OWN?

Who’s the dumbass in the writer’s room that thought of this ludicrous convenient solution for Jo? Only people with that much money and power can steal children. 

I really thought Jo’s fight for Luna should’ve started earlier and when it didn’t start, I thought it would bleed into next season. It’s not easy to adopt a child. 

anon said: Also is our last jackson appearance on this show really a random facetime with jo? Would have much rather had a face maggie to congratulate her on her marriage (why wasnt he there???) 

Maggie’s kind of his step sister or whatever the f they are. Jackson could’ve taken a break from solving racism to attend his family member’s wedding, right?

anon said: Okay and then the interns... we never actually saw mer teaching them? Im hoping that theres a bigger intern/resident focus next season because of mers new job but now Im not optimistic haha. And why are the residents and interns grouped together? And why was levi so involved with mer’s patient that he wasnt pulled from the wedding to help???????? Its a double lung transplant get the upper year resident in there PLEASE!!! Or at least let him take over the surgery when mer passed out. Cristina would have been doing this shit in her intern year. I assure you he would much rather be at the surgery than the wedding of someone he has never interacted with. And Surely that surgery would have been better if more than 2 surgeons were working on it?????? my ONLY hope is that the time jump means we’re getting helm and levi aged up to 5th years and we get some chief resident/specialization/boards plots for them next year.

i hate grey’s and their ridiculous time jumps and blatant disregard to HOW THIS WILL AFFECT THE CAREERS OF THEIR RESIDENTS. 

I bet, like Teddy’s child, Levi and Helm are gonna be residents for 10 years and never choose a speciality. I want to revoke grey’s rights to call themselves a medical drama. There’s nothing medical about this show.

JUST WATCH MER TOUCH A DIRTY ASS BASIN AND THEN TOUCH A WHOLE HUMAN LUNG WITH THE SAME HANDS

YOU KNOW HOW DIRTY THAT BASIN IS SITTING ON WHATEVER THE FUCK IT WAS SITTING ON??? GET A NURSE TO HOLD THE BASIN. YOUR HANDS ARE STERILE

(Okay, I’m also sure the basin would be sterile but I can’t. I can’t believe in real life, they’d have the same hands hold a basin and a human organ. Someone who’s a doctor or works in the OR, tell me if I’m right. I need to know. )

Also, Bailey taking off her mask when she’s hugging Mer after the surgery. Right TO JAIL!

anon said: And finally... not half of maggies wedding guests ditching the wedding to go stand in a hallway and clap for mer LMAO like they couldnt have done that the next day??? Like I said before, most of this episode was comedy lol.

it’s COVID. Why are people going into the hospital unnecessarily??????

Yes, but you’re right. I gotta watch these eps like it’s a comedy or I’ll LOSE MY FACKING MIND

anon said: Redeeming parts of this episode: merhayes still has potential, need them to stop having the same scene over and over again though. Nico ily and alex get that cheque for sitting there, dancing, and clapping for ellen. Jo selling her shares to koracick... lmao. Bokhee and the other nurse getting their vaccines :’)

LOL @ merhayes having the same interaction. I was telling some people that I’d love for Hayes and Owen to have some scenes and for Hayes to kick Owen’s ass. Because like @schmico-ing said, Owen is a child collector and Hayes would absolutely fucking hate him.

YES ALEX LANDI GETTIN’ THAT DOUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. What an amazing job. I hope he gets paid in the 6 figures for his time at grey’s.

I don’t know how I feel about Koracick. I love caring Koracick. I hate asshole Koracick. I feel like they’re two different people. 

BOHKEE <3

Anyways, love your rants. I look forward to them when s18 starts or even whenever you have the odd urge to rant!

[into1-wonderland]

Baby!Into1 x Daycare au | Intro

(ft. Bo Yuan as the caretaker of the 10 chaotic bunch, ranging from the ages of 3-5)

a/n: hello hello yumi here~ so this is the first into1 au of mine that will ever see the light of day. at first I was going to write things for it, but honestly I'm going to make it into a series with incorrect quotes to attach with it. this post will be the bios of all the babies and our lovely caretaker Bo Yuan, so enough of me babbling and I hope you guys could enjoy~

First off, we have the Caretaker™ Bo Yuan:

my mans is like in his 20's rn

wanted to open up a little day care as like side job/internship because he wanted to teach kids in the future so he was like “might as well start working with kids now!”

and so

he did it

only regretted his life decisions when his devil number 1 and devil number 2 does something bad

other times he really enjoy looking after them! and he doesn’t even feel like it’s a job!

has been thinking about taking a field trip with all 10 of them but he’s afraid: 1) he might lose one 2) he might lose himself 3) can they behave themselves

his favorite thing to do is having all of them gather around while reading a fairytale to them for nap time

or sometimes he would sing a song

he has a lot of favorite things in day care, literally having all 10 of them just there makes him happy

except when lin mo and nine is having a scream off:

lin mo: ahh

nine: aHH

lin mo: AHH

nine: AHHHHH-

bo yuan, running into the room: what’s wrong?

ak: screaming

bo yuan: why?

patrick, with his hands over his ears: TO SEE WHOS LOUDER

all the other boys: *nods*

isnt always watching the kids 24/7, since day 1 when the kids came in he told them the rules of the daycare and kinda just let them familiarize the place

(bo yuan: its a daycare, and they are kids, they are suppose to have fun!

keyu, in the back, mumbles: i wanna climb the tree in the yard

bo yuan, turns around: keyu no)

///////////

And now we have the kids!!

Liu Yu:

4 years old

very quiet, just likes to sit and read and draw

the most obedient one, and likes to follow around bo yuan

well,, most of the time

he’s played a few pranks on bo yuan like:

bo yuan: liu yu nap time is over you have to wake up

liu yu: *not moving*

bo yuan, gently nudged liu yu: liu yu wake up!

liu yu: *continues to fake sleep and not move*

bo yuan: *leans closer to liu yu’s face to make sure hes not sick or has a fever*

liu yu, scares bo yuan: WAH

bo yuan: liu yu dont do that! you scared me!

liu yu: *giggles*

likes to stretch and bend himself in odd positions

(bo yuan: everyday I’m in fear that he will snap himself in half)

kinda an introvert but once he hangs around everyone for a bit he will open up to them and fit himself in very well

likes to organize and keep things how he found them/have special places where he organizes his toys

jiayuan: *moves liu yu’s fan*

liu yu: hey! put that back!!

has really good etiquettes and never really fights or argues or bicker with the other kids

but likes to joke around and mess around with once in a while

patrick: wahhh i put my cupcakes here who took one!

liu yu, hiding it behind his back: idk maybe keyu took it?

the least of bo yuan’s worries since he’s always in bo yuan’s sight, also he’s aware of his surroundings so he actually helps bo yuan make sure everything’s okay

(bo yuan: i made a checklist for myself on the whiteboard and liu yu likes to check things off for me, he said “coloring in the boxes is fun” so now he's the reason why i get all my work done)

-----------

Santa:

4 years old

riki’s best friend

super happy and bright, like a ray of sunshine

is easily scared

lin mo: hi

santa: WAHHHHH BO YUAN GEGE

really likes bo yuan, would stick on to him a lot and ask him about everything

santa: bo yuan gege whats this?

santa: bo yuan gege what’s that?

santa: bo yuan gege what are you making right now?

hangs out with liu yu and mika a lot (other than riki)

riki is older than him but would hold riki’s hand and take him around like a didi

also really likes racing with mika for E V E R Y T H I N G

(bo yuan: yeah couple days ago they tried to race who can fall asleep faster but because they kept on peeking at each other so they basically didn’t sleep till i said i’ll watch for them)

really likes to dance, every time he hears music he would start grooving around

loves learning new things, which is probably the reason why he always asks bo yuan so many questions

also least one of bo yuan’s worries, just gotta make sure jiayuan and lin mo don’t pull pranks on him

(bo yuan: well they dont really pull prank pranks, its just once lin mo grabbed a frog and started running around and showing it to everyone, but lin mo lost grip and the frog jumped on santa)

-----------

Rikimaru:

5 years old

looks like he’s 3, acts like he’s 3, but is actually 5

best friends with santa! always sticks around him and likes to tug on a corner of his shirt out of habit

bo yuan: alright everyone it’s nap time! i’ve made the beds for everyone

riki, sees his bed is not next to santa: bo yuan gege can you switch my bed next to santa? i wanna be next to santa

he didn’t start speaking till he was 4 so he often stutters when he talk and just looks confused a lot (it's because he’s thinking and formulating his words)

santa and the other kids would always have to interpret for him

bo yuan: riki I brought some snacks today do you want cookies or marshmallows?

riki: ???

santa, motioning with his hands: bo yuan gege said do you want the white fluffies or brown crunchies

riki: oh! crunchies!

squishy cheeks,, bo yuan’s favorite thing is to squish his cheek everytime he sees him

riki: gud mooning bo yuan gege!

bo yuan, squishes riki’s cheeks: ahh I haven’t seen you in so long good morning!!

nine: wait wasnt riki here yesterday??

also likes to stretch,, often seen around with liu yu and they just help each other

(bo yuan: i am afraid he will snap himself in half too)

not too much of bo yuan’s worries, besides the fact that he might get kidnapped because he’s so oblivious

(bo yuan: we were playing outside in the yard once and riki just wandered off because he thought the neighbor’s flowers were pretty)

-----------

Mika:

4 years old

also kinda an introvert, doesn’t interact with too many people

usually it’s santa that approaches him first or keyu^^

found a ukulele in the toy bin one time and wouldn’t let go of it (he claims it’s his now)

his favorite activity at daycare is when they all sing together, that’s when he smiles the most and has the most fun

the one that likes to nap the most

also likes to help bo yuan cook once in a while (mostly just having mika washing vegetables and passing things to bo yuan)

very laid back and not noisy (till he starts playing the ukulele)

often gets scared by lin mo’s sudden screams (actually, lin mo scares a lot of people, sorry to mika’s ears)

also not one of bo yuan’s worries, literally there’s nothing to worry about with mika, all the kids just likes to sit around mika and pet his head so he keeps everyone safe

(bo yuan: one time I couldn’t find any of the kids in the play room, apparently they were all in the napping corner petting mika’s head since he just got a hair cut)

-----------

Nine:

4 years old

loud, very loud.

pouts a lot

everyone calls nine cute, even the boys who are younger than him

likes to boss around patrick because he’s older

nine: patrick gimme that juice box!

patrick: you’re closer you get it!

nine: i’m older than you!

literally scared of everything

if he hasn’t seen it before and it’s living, he’s scared

jiayuan: *holds a bowl of tadpoles*

nine, several feet away: WAHHH WHAT IS THAT

the happiest when he gets snacks + real food food

also really likes to sing!! his favorite thing is watching disney movies because there’s so much music in it and he just loves to sing along

he’s not part of bo yuan’s worries because he’s literally scared of everything, but nine is really naive and would do things that the other kids tell him to do so, it’s a 50/50 on nine

(bo yuan: there was an edible decorative flower on keyu’s birthday cake couple days ago, and somehow jiayuan convinced nine all flowers were edible. so today during outside time nine almost ate the neighbor’s flowers)

-----------

Lin Mo:

3 years old

LOUD. VERY LOUD.

probably the craziest most hyper one out of them all

he and jiayuan always have something bad planned

literally doesn’t have a moment where he’s calm

constantly in bickering mode with ak

lin mo: NO IM RIGHT

ak: NO. IM RIGHT

patrick: what are they arguing about?

keyu: *shrugs*

but is also best friends with ak so he’s also calm around him

(bo yuan: yeah these two have on and off days, you can never predict it)

and also constantly naruto runs around the daycare

bo yuan: lin mo stop running!

lin mo: *nyoom*

he also once nyoomed into keyu

keyu: ow what was that for?

lin mo: you were in my way!

and now he nyooms into keyu for fun

a very good mood maker

likes to smile/laugh a lot

would calm down if you show him a movie or a cartoon

number 2 on bo yuan’s worry list because he’s the "bad influence" for everyone, also he reduces hearing for everyone

(bo yuan: i’ve secretly made a tally book on how many times i have to say “lin mo” in a concerning tone this week and he came in 2nd. he was only here for like 3 days!)

-----------

Zhang Jiayuan:

3 years old

YOURE THREE STOP SMIRKING LIKE THAT

couple months younger than lin mo but this is the real culprit under a lot of his and lin mo‘s plans

it’s just because jiayuan has a lot of crazy ideas and he says them out loud and lin mo is just like “yes”

also sometimes they are just accidents, but he's always doing weird questionable things with lin mo

got really sad one time because he brought tadpoles and put them in the fish tank and killed them since the fish went nom

but then started to constantly catch for tadpoles to feed the fishes

bo yuan: jiayuan stop, you’re killing the frog population!

jiayuan: but the fishies are hungry *pouts*

likes to fight/mess around with keyu for no reason

keyu: *sitting there, drawing*

jiayuan, with a squishy hammer: *bops keyu’s head*

but also will protect keyu if anyone tries to mess with him

lin mo: *nyooms into keyu for the 3rd time of the day* jiayuan, hugs keyu: stop hurting him!

the calmest thing he likes to do is taking care of plants, probably because he saw bo yuan spraying the plants one time and he like to squeeze the spray bottle

number 1 on bo yuan’s worry list, this child is literally not safe alone or with anyone. they were trying to celebrate keyu’s birthday and jiayuan tried to touch the candles, while it was lit, by the flame.

(bo yuan: i just got the tablets and haven’t set up children mode, so i’ll take the blame for this one. but also why are kids so good with technologies nowadays??)

-----------

Patrick:

3 years old

squishy :D

smiley :DD

favorite thing is nap time and snack time

somehow knows every location where bo yuan hides their snacks

bo yuan: *getting the snacks that he hid in the piano*

patrick: *sitting next to the window sill with the snack* hi~

of course bo yuan can never get mad at patrick for eating the snacks because patrick doesn’t do anything bad

also he's a growing child

best friends with keyu,, and drags him on to “adventures”

*the daycare got a new toy play house*

patrick: bo yuan gege, keyu and I are moving out so we can go on an adventure!

keyu: I didnt agree to this??

wants bo yuan to add dress up into the daycare games, since he wants to dress up the other boys in the daycare

patrick: i call it, patrick fashion!

not part of bo yuan’s worries till he’s on his hunt for the hidden snacks, just because bo yuan is afraid he might hurt himself

(bo yuan: i started hiding the snacks higher up and one time i saw him trying to climb on keyu’s shoulders to grab it)

-----------

Zhou Keyu:

3 years old

smart, but really clueless at the same time

tall, but has the personality of smol

likes to draw

also likes to read with patrick,, but usually patrick falls asleep so it’s him, the book, and a sleeping patrick

wears glasses all the time since his vision isn’t so good but somehow he makes glasses look good on him???

has a chain with his glasses because there too many glasses incident with keyu

glasses #1 keyu: I don’t like them! *takes it off and loses it*

glasses #2 keyu: *takes them off for nap time, but riki accidentally rolled on to them and snapped it*

glasses # we don’t know how many: *disconnected from the keyu universe*

also like a month younger than lin mo but literally has to make sure lin mo doesnt “blow” the place up

lin mo: what if I stuck this fork into the pluggie thing?

keyu, picking lin mo up: nope you’re not

when keyu is clueless he either stands there or just sit there and space out, not really noticeable but bo yuan ran into him doing that a couple times

(bo yuan: I thought he was an ai that was malfunctioning, it scared me at first but now I know he just doesn’t remember what he’s doing)

oh did I mention this,, even though he’s one of the youngest, he’s the tallest, with that advantage he likes to try to pick people up

jiayuan: keyu pick me up!

keyu: no

patrick: keyu likes me more he will pick me up!

keyu: no

patrick: *pouts*

keyu: *tries to pick both jiayuan and patrick up at the same time*

bo yuan, running over: ZHOU KEYU PUT THEM DOWN YOULL BREAK YOURSELF

not too high up on bo yuan’s worry list, give him a piece of paper or book or anything he would just calmly sit there and do something with it

(bo yuan: every time when we do art or reading its so hard to pry keyu away, he has to finish what he was doing and he’s so concentrated he doesn’t hear anybody)

-----------

Liu Zhang (AK):

4 years old

loud, VERY LOUD.

he doesn’t know he’s loud

bo yuan: ak you don’t have to yell

ak: OKAY

monopolized over all the instrument music type of toys in the daycare

bo yuan: ak you know you have to share your toys right?

ak: I gave the ukulele to mika

honestly having ak is like having a walking megaphone so bo yuan ended up actually making ak his little helper for announcements

bo yuan: ak go tell everyone is lunch time

ak: alright!

ak: *da da da running to fetch his little stool*

ak, stands on a little stool in the middle of the play room: ITS LUNCH TIMEEEEEE-

nine, swats ak’s leg: YOU SCARED ME

the only time ak is quiet is when he’s around lin mo, he kinda just likes to watch lin mo and follow him around so that’s that

unless lin mo starts messing with him, then you just lose your hearing for the day

also at first bo yuan was trying to see what ak is interested in, and he taught ak hot cross buns on the bells and thought that would calm ak down,, but oops ak ended up making more noises

patrick: I WANNA SLEEP AK

(bo yuan: I swear something happened to this kid or something. he’s not hard of hearing but he’s just naturally so loud)

i too would lose my hearing if im around ak so much

not to high on bo yuan’s worries but he just make sure ak isn’t being too loud and bothering the other kids, usually he’s pretty good about that but you never know when a little patrick will start napping or anyone really so gotta contain his energy

(bo yuan: ak is usually the first one that’s awake from nap time but its usually like 5-10min before everyone else so i told him he can go and play but he just has to be quiet)

///////////

alrighty !! now you've met everyone in the daycare, what kind of fun and chaotic adventures are they going to have??

(all future daycare au things will be incorrect quotes + short little one shots, this intro mostly served as a bio so you understand their personalities a bit, and i hope you enjoyed it!)

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot.  but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :(  -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

~

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

[mistymark]

the one with the annotations.

dong sicheng x reader // 3.7k words // masterlist // send requests here

summary; in which sicheng keeps writing in the books at the library and it should be obvious but that’s,,, not,,, allowed???

warnings: none its just fluff, theres some humour if u like,, squint

requested; yes :D - “Enemies to lovers 👀 with sicheng? Love your writing btw 💕” from anon

notes; based on this prompt: ”You’ve got to stop returning books full of corrections and spiteful comments in red pen bc I can’t stop reading them and my boss gives me disapproving glares when I laugh at the funny ones

ohhhhh boi

so while you were at uni you had a part time job at the library

because surprise surprise as a lit major you like books

shocker there

you always tried to work the late shifts, closing up and doing the returns

just because it was easy and relaxing organising and restacking the books

but soon you wished you took the earlier shifts

because of dong sicheng

not to be dramatic but

your long rival

he started coming to the library to borrow books

because that’s kind of the point of a library

but he ended up liking the environment for studying

and would stay there for hours just to study

and you’d admire his hardworking nature

if he left on time, that is

you would do the rounds ten minutes before closing

just to tell everyone like

‘hey, we’ll be closing in around ten minutes if you want to begin packing up’

but this bitch

would nEVER PACK UP ON TIME

you’d end up standing at his table with your bag and the keys in your hand

tapping on the wood to try and get his attention

and him slowly packing up afterwards

even tho he kNOWS you want to go home

‘you’re just as slow as you were in kindergarten hey?’

and he’d be so furious

‘you know you cheated’

‘I don’t remember any such thing’

and maybe you did maybe you didn’t

you were like four years old

as if you’d remember a race you won when you were that age

he just rolls his eyes and leaves as you lock the doors

you leave in the other direction

happily leaving him behind

but he stops by every Monday Tuesday and Thursday night to study

which are the days you work as well

he acts like it’s just part of his schedule 

but he worked out if he came in on Wednesday’s he didn’t have the opportunity to annoy you

and honestly?

annoying you at the end of your shift and after a long session of studying was the highlight of his night

but he keeps borrowing books

and you’re like

whatever

until he borrows this new book you’ve been wanting to read for ages

and you were low-key so bitter

this lil bitch has no way of knowing you wanted that book but somehow he does and that’s the only reason he’s borrowed it

even though,, he literally had no idea lmao

tbh u probably would have wanted to talk to him about the books he reads bc u have very similar taste

okay the same taste

but he’s such an asshole ur like nah fam

anyways he returns it after a week

boy reads fast ok

and when he goes to drop it in the returns box

you just take it from his hand and scan it under your name straight away

and put it under the desk so no one else can borrow it

and when there’s a lull in the work at the library

you reach under the table for the book and rifle through it

and you notice a few pencil marks

and upon further inspection you realise they’re comments referencing certain parts of the book

and you do nOT stand for vandalism

but some of them are fuckin hilarious not gonna lie

on the page you just happened to open

you can see there’s a comment beside a passage of text depicting a fight scene

‘this would kill someone wtf’

and u laugh and wonder who had done this

like the book had only been out for a little while

and u finish it in just less than a week

bc u read a lot during your shifts

probably a lot more than you should tbh

and seriously the comments made the book better

you hadn’t laughed so hard at random commentary so much

like the words were exactly what you were thinking

you couldnt help it

while ur putting some of the books back in the middle of your shift

!!!! you see another book that u might like !!! 

not to judge a book by its cover butttttttt

it looks like ur type oop-

and after flipping through it

to get an idea of font size and chapter length cause ur a whole nerd like that

u see it ALSO has pencil markings

in the borders and underlining sentences

and without even thinking u borrow it

just to read the funny comments again

and ur boss comes up to you during your shift and is like

‘have you seen someone’s been writing in the books? look at this’

and thrusts a book in ur face

and ur like ??????? okay chill I’ll look

and u read the writing she’s pointing at

the familiar loopy handwriting adorning the page

and it says ‘I hope she throws her drink in his face’

when u read the paragraph for context

u realise it’s a confession scene

a few lines down the mystery person has written ‘called it.’

and u can’t help but laugh

like come on that was funny

but ur boss doesn’t agree

she just asks you to find out who’s doing it so they can be suspended from the library

or charged with vandalism

or something

she wants vengeance

u roll ur eyes and go to one of the staff computers

scrolling through the lists of borrowers for that specific book

and it’s a fuckin library that book has been borrowed a loT

2031 times ???????????????

you almost fall of your chair tbh

then someone clears their throat in front of u

and u immediately apologise as u try and get the right tab up to process the borrower’s book

but once u look at the person in front of u

you wish you hadn’t been so nice

sicheng stands in front of you

a grin on his face as he hands you another book

smug bitch is so happy he startled u

‘looking at porn on the library computer, yn?’

u laugh

‘I’m not u in 8th grade’

he glares at you as he takes his book and goes back to his desk to continue studying

u were soooo hoping he’d leave

even tho u kinda enjoyed looking at him

like dude was hot okay

what were u supposed to do????

ur actual job????

please.

so he stays

and when it’s ten minutes til closing

u go and let everyone know

and u stop at sichengs table

and he’s writing out notes or something

idk it’s not like u care anyway lol

but he’s lowkey frustrated bc he keeps messing up this one goddamn formula

so he erases it

and that’s when u catch a glimpse of his handwriting

and bruh am I high or is that the exact same handwriting as in the books

I mean he has borrowed a few of the books

and he’s into that genre

not that you've checked out his borrowed list or anything

basically ur having this whole conversation with yourself in your head

bc ur cool like that

and he’s like ????? why this bitch standing over my shoulder and watching me write out this equation

until he’s like ‘what are u doing’

and ur like !!!!! oh hi !!! sorry I was busy listening to the voices in my head lmao xD

jk jk

‘have u been writing in the books’

and suddenly he’s super shy

and he has this massive grin

and he’s like ‘no’

bitch we know it was u stfu

u roll ur eyes and ur like ‘its not funny my boss wants you to be suspended’

he squints at you

‘how do you even know it was me’

and then:

‘DO YOU HAVE E V I D E N C E’

and u cross your arms

like a badass bitch

and ur like ‘I have plenty of evidence actually’

‘for one, youve borrowed all the books that have been found with writing’

‘and your handwriting matches’

subconsciously he covers his notebook with his arm to hide his handwriting

and he's like ‘why are u telling me this’

you're taken aback by the question tbh

like ?????? to be a good person ??????

idk u fuckwit just wanted to warn you

‘thought you'd want to know’

and he just turns back to his book

and you shrug and walk away like ok get suspended then see if I care

but u do :((

but as you walk away hes like

‘wait’

‘Im gonna be suspended??’

and u nod like ye that's what I just said but ok

‘like I cant borrow or I cant come in at all?’

u don't know tbh

‘both I think?’

and suddenly there's panic in his eyes

another person walks past u and thanks u

and u mindlessly tell them to have a good night as they leave

everyone has left

except sicheng of course

that beautiful son of a-

wait why did u say beautiful

‘what can I do to nOT get suspended??’

and u shrug bc idk dude not my problem

but then u think about it

‘I mean if u get rid of the evidence theres no way u can be suspended, right?’

and he seems so happy at the thought

‘would you help me? please?’

and ur sooooooo skeptical

‘depends. what do u want to me to do?’

‘I mean I need access to the books so’

‘yeah ill let u in and out’

‘I can't exactly just erase the markings when people could be watching’

and that's exactly how you end up sitting in the library with dong sicheng at 11pm at night rifling through books to find odd pencil markings to erase

it wasnt that hard

u just got his record up

*snorts* ‘you borrowed ‘how to talk to girls’ when we were thirteen’

and he just rolled his eyes and marched to the computer like ‘you can see my record I deserve to see yours’

and ur like NOOOOOO nononononono

but later

‘you've read all the light-fighter novels??’

he looks at you from where hes searching for one of the books on the list, an eyebrow raised

‘yeah why’

‘dude,, I loved those books’

and he smiles a little

‘thats where I started marking the books tbh, every time I read it id add a little cross in the corner of the cover bc I read it so often’

part of u is a little impressed

the other is annoyed at how similar your taste in books is

but the first part keeps asking why u hate him so much

other than the staying late and the snarky comments

which you actually find kinda funny-

anyways

once you've gathered up a few of the books

like at least ten each

you sit on the floor of the childrens section

beanbags sprawled out beneath you as u read through some of the books

most of them you've read before

and every time you giggle at something hes written his smile gets a little bigger

but of course youre looking at the book so you dont notice

and he keeps his head down

‘is it bad that im hungry’

you lift your head from the book to look at sicheng

hes not even reading anymore hes just lounging back on the beanbags

and maybe he'd been watching u read

watching as the smile on your face grew wider at his commentary

‘I didnt see you leave tonight. have u eaten?’

you furrow your brows in thought, trying to recall having seen him leave

‘you been watching me, y/n?’

‘have you been eating, sicheng?’

and there's something about the way you say his name that makes his heart jump

his voice is soft as he looks at you in the dark

‘no’

you focus back on the book in front of you

‘finish whatever book youre on and we’ll call it a night’

‘what, you wanna go eat?’ 

you cant tell if hes just surprised or if hes hopeful

or something else

‘no but I do want to sleep’

you laugh and he forces a laugh too

you dont notice the difference

when you've returned all the books

he meets you at the front door as you grab the book you'd been reading that shift

hes just standing by the door on his phone

and maybe its bc ur tired or maybe its just him

but u cant help thinking

Jesus Christ this boy is attractive

and okay maybe u had a crush on him a few years ago

but hey! you were eleven what could u do

the crush still lasted like two years tho lmao

but u shoulder your bag and open the door for him

making sure to lock it carefully

and he walks with you in the direction of your apartment

and ur like oh u live this way too?

and hes like nah

but what kind of boy would he be if he didnt accompany home

like christ y/n u could be h u r t out here at this time of night

but you just smile at him bc wow thats ??? actually ??? kinda sweet

‘who are u and what have u done with dong sicheng’

and there goes his heart again

he just nudges u with his elbow 

and u laugh at him and continue on ur way

when u get to ur building he thanks u for ur help in the most polite way possible

and u can kind of see that hes actually rlly nice ??? how ???

but hes back at the library the next day

and of course he comes up to the counter as soon as he spots you

sneaking around a few desks so u dont hear him come up behind you to whisper ‘BOO!’ in your ear

you jump like three feet in the air and spin around to tell him to get out from behind the desk

‘I dont see a nametag on u that means u have to be on THAT side of the desk thank u very much’

‘didnt realise your name tag said bitch on it geeeez y/n ://’

and u just fix him with a glare once hes finally on the right side

‘are u borrowing a book or not’

‘nuP’

he leans on the desk

his eyes staring straight into yours

‘just wanted to ask if u were able to stay back tonight’

you roll ur eyes

you'd barely gotten any sleep last night

but the look of concern on his face when he realises youre hesitating makes you nod

‘of course,, wouldnt want my least favourite person to get kicked out’

‘I always knew you had a soft spot for me’

you roll ur eyes aGAiN

‘go bother someone else’

‘oh is the hot librarian in?’

you push him away from the desk

but he doesnt miss the faint smile on ur lips

‘sicheng dont make me give you $100 in overdue book fees’

he sticks his hands up at the threat, his eyes wide

‘no. please. ill do anything’

when u raise an eyebrow at him, he just grabs the book you'd been reading (and not yet borrowed) and walks away

and he winks too

u have to stop your heart from beating out of its chest

and later

its 8pm and the library is officially closing

and for the past three hours you'd been walking to sicheng’s desk and subtly been trying to steal your book back

but every single time hes seen you coming

and pulled the book under the desk or into his lap

away from your grabbing hands

every. single. time.

you tap your foot impatiently at him when its time to continue ur undercover project

and he smiles down at his notebook when he hears u huff in annoyance at him

he dramatically looks up at you

‘do you need something?!’

‘do you want to get suspended?!’

he narrows his eyes at you but stands up anyway

he carefully puts his things in his bag and takes the list of books from your hands

a few of them are already crossed out as having been checked and erased

but theres still a lot to go

it takes you almost three weeks to finally get to the last day

and it had been the same thing every time;

sicheng took forever to pack up

you'd eventually find about ten books each

sit in the children’s section

laugh and chat about your lives while you went through the books

tease each other

and when you'd finished,

he'd walk you home

every single time

without fail

it became a habit that on the Tuesdays he'd stop by on his way to his morning class to drop coffee off for you

because he'd kept you up the night before

and it became easy to lose track of time with sicheng

he was just so engaging

there was no part of you that felt bored or uncomfortable with him

yeah he was annoying and infuriating

but his good book taste made up for it

and his annotations in the margins of the books too

‘is this the last of them?’

he squints down at the page again, counting the books on the table again

its the third time hes counted

‘surely ive read more than this’

‘not from this library ://’

you blow your hair out from your face and look down at the pile

‘you know, I think my manager is starting to get really suspicious of me’

‘why’ he looks up briefly from his book to read your face

but you try and remain calm

‘well she only told me about the markings right. and now theyre disappearing’

he looks at you like ?????

‘well she knows ive been closing up late... I think she thinks I did it’

he laughs ‘you? has she met you?’

you pout and throw a pillow at him

‘HEY! what's that supposed to mean :((’

‘it means ive never met someone who's so protective over books as you’

you think about it, chewing ur bottom lip

‘lets just finish this’

‘do u want to get food after’

he surprises you with the sudden question

and the slight nervousness thats evident on his face really makes you want to say yes

but you have a class tomorrow

and you always try and finish up here earlier on a Thursday night

‘cant :((’

he nods and goes back to readng

theres silence for a while

but you find it comfortable

sicheng on the other hand, feels as though hes just been shot down

like

you just turned down his date

you've kinda noticed hes more reserved now

quiet

but rlly hes just kind of embarrassed

until u say something that gives him hope

‘I,, uh, I dont have plans tomorrow night’

and ngl boy is stunned

‘just if u wanted to go see a movie or something idk’

now its ur turn to be embarrassed

u hope ur hair is hiding ur face as u look back down at the book in ur lap bc no doubt ur blushing

but sicheng is just staring at you

and

before even saying anything

he leans over the gap between you

with all the books

and hovers in front of your face

ur so shocked and ur heart is beating way too hard and fast and ur breathing is too quick to be normal are you having an attack I dont know-

and then he leans forward a little bit more

and his lips meet yours

and suddenly its like a fireworks display went off inside you

and then its almost midnight on a Thursday night and ur sitting in the children's section of your workplace in the beanbags with sicheng cupping ur face and kissing you

he just really needed to kiss you

like more than he needed air

and when u finally pull back

he loves how breathless you are

how you have to fight to keep the smile off your face

how you stare at him with wide eyes

‘so its a date then?’

you blush even redder

and nod

‘ye its a date :))’

but for the next fifteen minutes you sit in stunned silence together

small smiles playing on your faces

until u look at your watch and ur like

‘shit sicheng I have to go’

and his eyes widen bc holy crap u were supposed to leave like half an hour ago

so u both sprint around the library trying to put all the books back

and he meets you at the door again after you've grabbed the keys and made sure everything that needed to be locked was,,, u know,, locked

and when ur walkign to the door again

hes on his phone

u cant see but hes texting his friends about what happened lmao what a softie

and when u walk out together

without thinking he grabs your hand

and u walk home

hand in hand

after midnight

he clears his throat

‘so uh,, when actually is our date’

‘my last class ends at 5-’

‘so 5 it is’

‘are u sure??’

he nods happily

and he presses a gentle kiss to ur forehead when u get to ur doorstep

‘ill see u tomorrow’

but the next day

when u come out of your last class

a little giddy

a little too excited

and see him leaning against one of the stone pillars

effortlessly handsome

you feel your heart flip

and maybe ur just tired or maybe its him

but hes really attractive

like really really attractive

its actually just that youre in love with him

he doesnt see you coming

too focused on something on his phone

but he definitely sees you when you push his hand out to the side and step onto ur toes to kiss him

and u can feel him smile a little as he kisses you back

‘ready for that date?’

‘yeah, where are we going’

‘so I was thinking we could go to the libra- HEY! dont hit me I was j o k i n g y/n jesus christ’

[cloudybakery]

Voltron s6 thoughts and feelings(spoilers, mostly positive, none of that hate shit here)

SO OH MY GOD THAT FUCKING HURT BUT IT WAS SO GOOOOOD

so this is just gonna stream of consciousness okay

LETS TALK ABOUT HOW THEY GAVE LANCE A VULNERABLE MOMENT WHERE HE CRIED AND IT WASNT A JOKE THAT SHIT GOT ME i was so so happy about that?? Yea Allura comforted him and stuff and I was hoping it would be keith but also he and Allura grew close this season and I like their relationship as a friendship all ships aside because sometimes you need that?? like tbh I want them to have a punk level friendship someday like can you imagine that’d be so cute

i cried when they destroyed the castle of lions like i fucking cried 

OKAY BLACK PALADINS??? OOOOOOOOF i was so tense thats probably the most tense I’ve been since the beginning of the Chroma Conclave arc in Critical Role like holy shit that was amazing and so well done 

“you’re my brother, I love you” JUST THROW ME OFF A CLIFF THAT WAS SO GOOD the flashbacks of younger keith were so cute bless you crew for giving us that 

Keith??? Is so pretty??? what the fuck I’m gay

The fighting was a little heavy this season and as someone who lives for plot and character development through dialogue i was kinda put off, but they still did a lot of characters justice 

KEITH AND KROLIA BACKSTORY I WAS A MESS AND A HALF FUCKIN HELL that shit was amazing like I was so happy they gave us that 

They didn’t kill Krolia thank g o d 

KEITH IS LIKE,,,,,,,20 OR SOMETHING PHYSICALLY part of me is still shook about that but also like he got to spend two whole years with his mom and his space wolf reconnecting with her and that just made me so happy 

his hair is so long and tbh I never want him to stop growing it out 

WHAT IF WE GET PONYTAIL KEITH PLEASEEEEE I NEED IT 

I CALLED IT I FUCKING KNEW IT I NEVER TRUSTED THAT SON OF A BITCH LOTOR okay so maybe I did for a little bit but thats good writing on their part they let us all get complacent with the paladins and then BAM HE’S A POWER HUNGRY PIECE OF SHIT 

Shiro d i e d.  Like, full on died.  that was crazy and still has me shook

Lol we’ve been right about the astral plane since the beginning im dying 

WHITE HAIR SHIRO WHITE HAIR SHIRO tbh if you think about it Josh was technically hinting at that with his little “spoiler” post on insta 

Allura yeeted Shiro back into his body js

Ummmm Studio Ghibli hair WHO like that’s all I could think when Keith’s hair was whipping around him during the last ep 

ALLURA THE REAL LIFE CLERIC bringing paladins back to life left and right

okay the dnd episode was so perfect lemme just say KURON LOVE DND SO MUCH???? WHAT A NERD??? But also me with the backstory and wanting to play the same class,,, His only redeeming quality I wonder if Shiro likes dnd that much 

Allura being an archer was soooo good she was so excited

thank u dnd episode for never explicitly saying what gender Pidge’s character was just that they were a dwarf I take my representation where I can get it 

Kuron using his full name for dnd is such a mood 

still not over the fact that lance named his character Pike 

WHEN KEITH WENT PARTIALLY GALRA IN THE BP EPISODE I ALMOST SCREAMED THAT WAS SO COOL

he got back in his paladin armor and I cried 

Pidge and Hunk get to build Shiro’s new arm!!

new drinking game every time Lotor says something along the lines of “this couldn’t have been possible without you Allura” take a sip bc he said that so many times oh my god it was verging on hilarious 

lol I recoiled at the Lotura kiss I don’t even hate the ship it was just a knee jerk reaction oml 

I love that it took the mice telling Allura about Lance’s feelings for her to understand what a babe

I NEED FANART OF LANCE GIVING THE MICE A BATH LIKE THATS SO CUTE I’ll fukin make it myself 

HUNK TOOK LEAD ON SO MUCH STUFF THIS SEASON MY SOFT BOI IS A LEADER LIKE THEY TRUSTED HIM WITH SO MUCH IM SO PROUD

Pidge doesn’t get enough credit for the hacking she does I half expected Lance to hug her after she disabled the virus she was so stressed this poor child let her rest

tbh give them all a break, THEY NEED DOWNTIME AFTER THAT 

while I was a little sad that Keith didn’t get a lot of time to reunite with everyone, they were kind of on the clock so it makes sense story wise, and hopefully next season he will get some time to talk with each of them for a little bit 

THEY’RE GOING BACK TO EARTH OH MY G OD LANCE IS GONNA GET A FAMILY REUNION IM SO READY FOR THIS ARC 

Bless Coran in the last episode he was the comic relief we all needed at the moment but also him losing the castle was deep and it hurt 

THERE WERE A BILLION SHIRO CLONES THAT SHIT WAS TERRIFYING 

Not gonna lie, Axca kinda felt like Black Widow in Civil War with the amount of side switching she did; I want to know her motives??? And the other Generals??? Please??? i want an episode dedicated to them that’d be so cool like them trying to start over and stuff 

WHEN THEY ALL BONDED WITH THEIR LIONS THAT LINEUP SHOT WAS DOOOOOPE ngl I loved lance and keith next to each other that was such a cool shot of them and the whole team 

also where did Matt go?  He didn’t go back with his dad so I guess he was off on another rebel mission?  idk maybe someone ask at a panel where he went 

same with the Blades like I guess they were off doing other missions and didn’t bother to check in oops

tbh, this season was awesome.  Did we get all the interactions we wanted? not really.  Was it kind of battle heavy? yea.  But was there serious character development? H E L L YES.  Even though there were a lot of Keith and Shiro centered episodes the paladins screen time felt more balanced, at least to me.  Even though most of Lance’s stuff was angst about Allura I still feel like he got to grow as a person from it and he’s starting to become someone who comforts others and really be there for the team.  All we need now is for them to reciprocate and support him when he’s feeling down.  I cannot wait to see what the crew has in store for us and I can’t wait for them to get back to earth it’s going to be so interesting!!! 

[breastmiilk]

Heyy so i've been a long time fan of your writing and aus and a sort of long time follower of your blog. I just wanted to ask your opinions on infinity war? Because even as a major marvel fan i felt like this movie had a lot of lost potential and in the end wasn't as good as fan reactions have made it out to be? Also while i do love tony what made me slightly annoyed by him in this film is his lack of ability to think clearly and just panicking anytime asked for an opinion or plan?(1/2)

(2/2) and i just felt like it’s wrong the way peter has to fear disappointing him at every turn and just that kind of pressure being placed on him? so yeah just looking for some friendly opinions if this is rude just ignore it. Thank you! (oh also i think i missed when steve called tony the best defender? i cannot for the life of me remember where he says it? thank you for any help!!)

ajsdhjsdsfj anon!! 

xDD okay hi, um, idk why youre looking to me for counsel lol im not qualified enough for this, im just a marvel geek but hmm lets see. im one of those fans that really enjoyed the movie?? oop. sorry yeah, i really really loved it for what it was, at least i can tell you why; 

1) the villain. marvel has a way of getting me invested in their villains or at least getting me to like them even when theyre hurting the ppl i love. i enjoyed thanos a lot–he was an actual threat (terrifying grapes be terrifying), he wasnt even really pursuing the avengers (only fought them because they were stopping him from achieving his goal) and also i love villains that are morally grey/dark-grey. as far as thanos was concerned he was doing the right thing and so he continued with his plans, these pesky mortals can just *smacks them down* 

2) the fighting. you can tell when The Russo Brothers directed a film because the action scenes are always on point *flash back to the fights in winter soldier + civil war* so for the fights alone i was really pumped for that. and they delivered, as tense as i was during most of the fight scenes, i still enjoyed them (esp when people teamed up with their powers/put them to good use: e.g. peter + strange’s portals)

3) the character interactions. i loved the interactions they managed to put in despite the whole Thanos Be Among Us looming threat thing, they checked most of my boxes for those anyway (i.e tony + strange, starlord being starlord, drax being drax, rocket + bucky’s arm, etc.) these little things were what i was actually excited for and i got them so why would i be displeased?? lol

4) flow and character control. with a bunch of characters running around in one film from different universes its easy to become a train wreck and while they were even set in the different countries and planets the story and plot flowed into each other smoothly and it didnt feel like they just shoved a bunch of random supers into one movie just because they could, but have no idea what to do with them (no shade justice league, no shade). Also bearing in mind that these superheroes come from different mcu series with different directors yet they still stayed in character + within their abilities was really relieving to see, it didnt feel like different directors manipulating the characters 

5) SOME. OF. THOSE. SCENES. just the scenes in the movie itself made the movie epic for me?? like when we first experience the flying donut and the whole city is in mayhem (i got chills) or when thor crashed into the gotg’s ship or the fight with peter/tony/gotg/thanos, like. there wasnt a time in the movie at all where i was bored or uninterested in the ‘narrative’ i was like yes please give me more. 

6) when i was waiting to see iw i didnt even study plot i was just theorizing over who would die and if thanos tortured loki into the Invasion of New York lol so honestly anything that would have happened in this movie would have blown my mind, but even then if it was crap i would have called it out (*cough* thor dark world, avengers age of ultron)

7) its just the first part. i feel like this movie is nothing compared to the epicness thatll happen in part 2 “first we’ll break your hearts, then we’ll blow your mind”. this was like set up to the Real battle you know? and i can safely say none of us are ready, but bring it 2019.

honestly, i enjoyed this movie a lot. i loved the plot, the action, the interactions, the pain and the suffering lol just all of it was phenomenal for me, but theres always difference in opinions and thats okay too but for me this was by a long shot nothing at all like a bad movie; i laughed, i cried, i was in suspense, and i want to see it again honestly thats two thumbs up for me. 

(also i didnt find tony was panicking like all the time? the dude straight up was like chillin with pepper–okay bruce came out of a portal, weird–theres a wizard *follows him into portal*–ughhh call steve?? i hate all of you–chaos in the city, lemme just help this lady up real quick–dammit squidward, hulks not working so imma just *nanotech*–wow im trapped on this ship and probably gonna die so okay guys heres the plan, oh wait peter has a better one lemme hear it *actually listens to peter AND strange eventually too like, he was pretty chill to me lmao) 

and peter doesnt fear disappointing tony in a severe way; because he doesnt even listen to him half the time LOL yeah tonys his idol, he wanted to make a good impression in homecoming (you wouldnt want to disappoint anyone you love/respect) but like generally peter and tony are cool–their relationship/interactions arent powered by peter wanting to be ‘good enough’ lol he IS good enough, just that sometimes IronDad wants him to be safe and Peter’s like hell naw, imma fight this baddie real quick and you’ll just have to get over the fact that i snuck on board the ship lmao. its a very do first, ask later thing that all teens do–i dig it.

But yeah like i said, maybe the fandom got something from the show you didnt, maybe we saw everything in a different way idk my dude–we just came to have a good time and cry and stuff, because i guess thats what marvel fans do lol. hope that helped you with your own feelings about it ?? at the end of the day, its just a movie (HAHA yeah right) and im not a critic or an expert, just a marvel fan sobbing in misery and anguish–but like,,,the good kind.

;)

[yhellowmil28]

Closure

My last letter to you..

I felt the need to do this so I can finally get the closure I wanted. I left unexpectedly bc I avoided confrontation about the problems in our relationship internally. I left because i knew if we stayed friends, we wouldnt have the same mutual feelings for each other anymore. I felt the more i stayed the more you were hoping i would still feel the same. But i didnt. The harshest reality is that our breakup was a slow burn. Overtime my feelings slowly disappeared and never came back. I dont know when it started but one day i woke up saying i dont wanna feel this way anymore and i started living by my word. There was a line where my heart had to stop loving and breaking bc i don’t know how many times i can put it back together again. Sorry if naconfused kta when i went back and forth on you. That pinaasa kta back then. Idk if i ever promised you anything but if i did im sorry i cant follow through with it. I realised maybe its time for me to believe and accept who you are and what your decided to do. Even though i didnt like it at least you were honest about it. Youre honest that youre unable to love me the way i needed to. You see I had an idealisation of you. I romanticised the love that i hoped for and your unwillingness to work for that was my perfect answer. So im sorry i can not reciprocate your feelings anymore. I had reasons to let go of you. I hope you understand my boundaries now and that what i had to offer doesnt come easy. Ethan, not every woman will correspond to your own time and healing. Not every woman will love you on your terms. Not every woman will wait and give you another chance pow. Thats on you and how youll take that responsibility. I have outgrown u in that and thats enough for me to let go. Im not gonna spend days waiting for you to recognise my worth and value.. that got me tired the first time round.

I reread your letters one day and i felt like you described how much i meant to u based on how i loved you unconditionally. But you still were holding back from change bc you thought i was never going to forgive you. Ethan im not gonna keep telling and emphasising how much i appreciated you. Ive reminded you that countless times in every letter and if it still left you wondering if i ever loved you back then you need a reality check. You cant love someone when you cant even love yourself first. You sought after my validation and love. You were never whole in the beginning. Maybe the next time you get into a relationship youll learn how to establish your boundaries and know your value and worth more. Bc recognising that will let you see the treatment people give you.

I went to church for nine days for Sto Nino. And recently on the eight day novena the priest talked about forgiveness. It made me remember during the time that we tried being friends and i remember still feeling deeply hurt by what you did to me and my friends. I never seemed to think about it until i heard his message. He said, “As humans we tend to be driven by our emotions. Only when we forgive can we receive God’s grace and peace. We run by this whenever others try to attack us by vile words and offence.” And i suddenly remembered crying as my hatred grew for you and i pushed the blame on you. Sa totoo lng i also have a fault in it. But instead i didnt want to hold accountable for it. I realised that i was not truthful to myself. I ignored and let my feelings got the best of me. And for that i do sincerely apologise. Sometimes we think people are undeserving to be forgiven due to the consequences they burdened you. (Come to think of it ayoko maging accountable for my own fault bc i didnt know how to fix the problem. And the problem made me very vulnerable. But i had to accept my wrong. I had to face them whether i liked it or not and own up my mistakes.) Though it's difficult it's not the matter of how much forgiveness they deserve but more of how much joy, happiness, and peace you really want in your life. And it's up to you if you're willing to let that go or hold on to it. So i forgive you ethan. It was hard to understand you at first but i realised that overtime the weight of pain does subsequently lighten up. And i dont hold anything against you at all. I dont hate you. Bc first, i got my answer and second its not your fault you didnt do what i needed you to do.

Not all the time everyone will love you for what you give. Your 100% in the relationship may differ from others but that doesnt mean you cant work on areas where you need to. Love is not linear. It is uncomfortable, unbalanced and everyday is a commitment. But if it doesnt benefit you anymore you have every right to leave. Im sorry for leaving you hanging like that but you knew what had to be done to let both of us heal. This was not my battle to fight. When i endured the pain, I thought i couldve done that alone. But i was forcing myself into something that wasnt for me. It takes two people for a relationship to work and sadly i felt like i was the only one trying. I learned that the hard way and with that there were shitty consequences. I failed to take accountability and blamed it on you and for that again i sincerely apologise. I may have worsen your trauma but you should know yourself and not let it define you. Oo makapal tlaga yung mukha ko. But where would i be if i let others opinion get the best of me. After what i did to my friends i still have more lessons to learn. One is that im not perfect. Ive committed many sins and mistakes that ive regretted since idk birth which left a hole inside of me. And God sees that im not perfect. It does not excuse me from being accountable for my actions but whats enlightening is that God has never judged me for my decisions in life. He has never abandoned me through every step of my journey regardless if ako yung kusang lumalayo. He sees through my flaws and impurity. And he healed me. The parable of the leper. Just watch this when you have time.. in day 3 it spoke a lot about Gods love for us. https://youtu.be/8KDz2VG8tUQ ...when i dont let myself be defined by my own problems and issues, it made me a stronger person.

But for now im gonna prioritise myself. And slowly gain back what i lost in the process of losing myself. As selfish as it may sound i dont feel the need of anyone to complete me. I am complete by myself and im happy. I could care less what you think what others will think as long as i know myself and i know what im capable of. For now i will keep my head up and heart open to those that deserve it. I wish you the best in life, ethan. I hope you still know that i care for you. I still have the same respect for you as a person.

You can reach out to us for anything. Well be here to support you if youre willing. Im okay, ive gotten over it and ive grown from this experience. I have so much to learn from myself and for now i need to focus and grow by myself. I pray everyday that you will heal and continue to seek for growth. I hope you dont condemn to what others made you believe. I hope that watever lofe throws at you youll still learn how to be kind. I hope you will find the wisdom and truth that God shows within our lives. I pray that whatever that is bearing upon your shoulders would soon be lifted up by the Lord. I hope you would allow yourself to forgive those who have done you wrong, and not hold on to the past and let it define you. I wish God would enlighten you with the wisdom of forgiveness and peace as He had forgiven us for our sins. Your identity is in him.

Ephesians 4:31-32; "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Amen. Thank you for your time. Have a good day.

[forethan21]

I felt the need to do this so I can finally get the closure I wanted. I left unexpectedly bc I avoided confrontation about the problems in our relationship internally. I left because i knew if we stayed friends, we wouldnt have the same mutual feelings for each other anymore. I felt the more i stayed the more you were hoping i would still feel the same. But i didnt. The harshest reality is that our breakup was a slow burn. Overtime my feelings slowly disappeared and never came back. I dont know when it started but one day i woke up saying i dont wanna feel this way anymore and i started living by my word. There was a line where my heart had to stop loving and breaking bc i don’t know how many times i can put it back together again. Sorry if naconfused kta when i went back and forth on you. That pinaasa kta back then. Idk if i ever promised you anything but if i did im sorry i cant follow through with it. I realised maybe its time for me to believe and accept who you are and what your decided to do. Even though i didnt like it at least you were honest about it. Youre honest that youre unable to love me the way i needed to. You see I had an idealisation of you. I romanticised the love that i hoped for and your unwillingness to work for that was my perfect answer. So im sorry i can not reciprocate your feelings anymore. I had reasons to let go of you. I hope you understand my boundaries now and that what i had to offer doesnt come easy. Ethan, not every woman will correspond to your own time and healing. Not every woman will love you on your terms. Not every woman will wait and give you another chance pow. Thats on you and how youll take that responsibility. I have outgrown u in that and thats enough for me to let go. Im not gonna spend days waiting for you to recognise my worth and value.. that got me tired the first time round.

I reread your letters one day and i felt like you described how much i meant to u based on how i loved you unconditionally. But you still were holding back from change bc you thought i was never going to forgive you. Ethan im not gonna keep telling and emphasising how much i appreciated you. Ive reminded you that countless times in every letter and if it still left you wondering if i ever loved you back then you need a reality check. You cant love someone when you cant even love yourself first. You sought after my validation and love. You were never whole in the beginning. Maybe the next time you get into a relationship youll learn how to establish your boundaries and know your value and worth more. Bc recognising that will let you see the treatment people give you.

I went to church for nine days for Sto Nino. And recently on the eight day novena the priest talked about forgiveness. It made me remember during the time that we tried being friends and i remember still feeling deeply hurt by what you did to me and my friends. I never seemed to think about it until i heard his message. He said, “As humans we tend to be driven by our emotions. Only when we forgive can we receive God’s grace and peace. We run by this whenever others try to attack us by vile words and offence.” And i suddenly remembered crying as my hatred grew for you and i pushed the blame on you. Sa totoo lng i also have a fault in it. But instead i didnt want to hold accountable for it. I realised that i was not truthful to myself. I ignored and let my feelings got the best of me. And for that i do sincerely apologise. Sometimes we think people are undeserving to be forgiven due to the consequences they burdened you. (Come to think of it ayoko maging accountable for my own fault bc i didnt know how to fix the problem. And the problem made me very vulnerable. But i had to accept my wrong. I had to face them whether i liked it or not and own up my mistakes.) Though it's difficult it's not the matter of how much forgiveness they deserve but more of how much joy, happiness, and peace you really want in your life. And it's up to you if you're willing to let that go or hold on to it. So i forgive you ethan. It was hard to understand you at first but i realised that overtime the weight of pain does subsequently lighten up. And i dont hold anything against you at all. I dont hate you. Bc first, i got my answer and second its not your fault you didnt do what i needed you to do.

Not all the time everyone will love you for what you give. Your 100% in the relationship may differ from others but that doesnt mean you cant work on areas where you need to. Love is not linear. It is uncomfortable, unbalanced and everyday is a commitment. But if it doesnt benefit you anymore you have every right to leave. Im sorry for leaving you hanging like that but you knew what had to be done to let both of us heal. This was not my battle to fight. When i endured the pain, I thought i couldve done that alone. But i was forcing myself into something that wasnt for me. It takes two people for a relationship to work and sadly i felt like i was the only one trying. I learned that the hard way and with that there were shitty consequences. I failed to take accountability and blamed it on you and for that again i sincerely apologise. I may have worsen your trauma but you should know yourself and not let it define you. Oo makapal tlaga yung mukha ko. But where would i be if i let others opinion get the best of me. After what i did to my friends i still have more lessons to learn. One is that im not perfect. Ive committed many sins and mistakes that ive regretted since idk birth which left a hole inside of me. And God sees that im not perfect. It does not excuse me from being accountable for my actions but whats enlightening is that God has never judged me for my decisions in life. He has never abandoned me through every step of my journey regardless if ako yung kusang lumalayo. He sees through my flaws and impurity. And he healed me. The parable of the leper. Just watch this when you have time.. in day 3 it spoke a lot about Gods love for us. https://youtu.be/8KDz2VG8tUQ ...when i dont let myself be defined by my own problems and issues, it made me a stronger person.

But for now im gonna prioritise myself. And slowly gain back what i lost in the process of losing myself. As selfish as it may sound i dont feel the need of anyone to complete me. I am complete by myself and im happy. I could care less what you think what others will think as long as i know myself and i know what im capable of. For now i will keep my head up and heart open to those that deserve it. I wish you the best in life, ethan. I hope you still know that i care for you. I still have the same respect for you as a person.

You can reach out to us for anything. Well be here to support you if youre willing. Im okay, ive gotten over it and ive grown from this experience. I have so much to learn from myself and for now i need to focus and grow by myself. I pray everyday that you will heal and continue to seek for growth. I hope you dont condemn to what others made you believe. I hope that watever lofe throws at you youll still learn how to be kind. I hope you will find the wisdom and truth that God shows within our lives. I pray that whatever that is bearing upon your shoulders would soon be lifted up by the Lord. I hope you would allow yourself to forgive those who have done you wrong, and not hold on to the past and let it define you. I wish God would enlighten you with the wisdom of forgiveness and peace as He had forgiven us for our sins. Your identity is in him.

Ephesians 4:31-32; "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Amen. Thank you for your time. Have a good day.

[emperor-lover]

Hey I love your scenarios. Can I please request a guanlin college au? Thank you!!

Thank you for loving my writing!! ❤❤ Sorry this took so long, i’m in the midst of all my final assignments and midterms at uni right now, but here you go!! It’s a bit more friendship with a hint of potential future relationship so maybe i’ll do a part 2 sometime later on if you’d like? Enjoy! 

Kuanlin college!AU (that kinda wasnt a college au, idk i got a bit sidetracked by basketball lmao)  ALSO HAPPY BDAY KUANLIN BBY HOPE UR SWEET SIXTEENTH IS LOVELY LIKE U KIDDO

he’s well known around campus as THE international student 

like a guy who appeared from a manga/manhwa, he has godly features and proportions

just a very perfect looking human

He’s also the guy that still seems to be having a growth spurt because you swear he’s taller than he was a month ago

Has a keen interest in languages, so he’s doing a double degree in Korean and English

People’s first impression of him are always that he’s this really cool guy

He has this signature outfit of a bomber jacket and ripped jeans

and sunglasses

Everyone’s eyes are always drawn to him immediately

“he looks like a celebrity!”

as soon as he took off his sunglasses and sat down, he gave everyone this cute gummy smile and introduced himself 

Despite his fashionable attire, he’s rather introverted and sticks to the same group of friends

The first time you met was in class at the start of your first year

you were running late because you had gotten lost because there had been a mistake in the timetable

you had made it in the correct building but it was seriously like a maze

and there was like 2 minutes left until the lecture would start but you were still so lost

1 minute to go and you were about to give up

when Kuanlin strolls past you leisurely

He’s about to turn the corner when he glances back at you

“um…”

you glanced over at the sound of his voice

“…if you’re looking for the lecture room for korean, it’s over this way…”

You thanked him in relief and followed him around 2 more corners before making it to a seat just in time for the lecture begin

After the lecture was over you spotted him leaving and you had rushed over to him

“Hey, thank you so much for showing me where this room was, you’re a life saver!”

He had looked away and you saw a slight pink flush light up his cheeks

“Happy to help.”

Your resolution when you were beginning college was to make lots of new friends so you decided, hey why not start now

“I’m Y/N by the way, it’s nice to meet you!”

As you introduced yourself, the two of you walked in step with each other

Turns out you do almost all the same papers as he does

The two of you end up just having this sort of silent seating plan

Like it randomly started one day and since then the two of you have always sat next to each other

Round mid semester exam time, the two of you would study together in the library

You’d take turns buying each other coffees

Kuanlin has remembered your coffee order in one go, much to your surprise

He gives off a very innocent vibe despite his mature appearance

He also tends to be very focused, and will always keep his emotions in check

Unlike you, because during exam time, u were streeeeesssed out

A complete contrast to Kuanlin’s very calm soul

The only times he breaks free from the calm is when he finds something funny

Like he’ll break out into this cute breathy laughter that’s super adorable

Because he’s an international student, he struggled to settle in at first at college

but after joining a few clubs and being introduced and meeting lots of nice people, Kuanlin really thrives in the college life

There is this really prestigious basketball team at your college - “Wanna One” and every semester they participate in a tournament against other college teams

Wanna One’s biggest rival is a team called “Mnet” (lol mnet, what a punny bball team name)

It’s such an intense competition as the winning club gets a huge benefit

like helping funding for national and overseas tournaments, helping paying off college tuition fees, getting more exposure to professional basketball scouters etc 

It’s tough though because Mnet is a team that tends to play dirty and will try to dramatise anything so the other team will get fouled (can y’all tell im having way too much fun with this)

A few of your friends, and friends of friends are in Wanna One

So you went to the tournament to cheer them on

You noticed from the crowd that there’s a new but familiar face in the team

The arrival of the new maknae, the hidden ace, Lai Kuanlin

No one outside of W1, as well as yourself had ever seen him play basketball before

so everyone’s a bit worried because the stakes on the game are so high

but those worries were all put to rest as soon as Kuanlin stepped on the court

The star shooter of the match, he didn’t miss a single hoop and ended up being the player who raked in the most points helping W1 claim victory

After the game, you, Wanna One and all their friends went to a karaoke place to celebrate

You were sandwiched between Daehwi and Jisung who were singing their hearts out to some girl group songs

Everyone’s laughing and having a good time

But then you noticed Kuanlin surrounded by all these girls/new found admirers

And although he looked slightly flattered by the situation he also looked very uncomfortable due to the sudden attention on him

You weren’t too sure if you should intervene or not, and just as you decided you were going to say something, Jisung shoved the microphone into your face forcing you to sing with them

After many more songs, you decided this would be a good time to go outside to get some fresh air and a break from all the ruckus

“Y/N? what are you doing out here?”

Kuanlin was sitting on a bench outside the karaoke place

“I thought I’d take a break from the noise, it was getting stuffy in there…what about you, you’re the star of the night, you should be in there celebrating with the others!”

“Same as you, the craziness was getting to me”

You gave a light pat on the back, “Things wont be that normal for you anymore, you’re practically a celebrity!”

Kuanlin had just hmm-ed in response, getting lost in his thoughts again

After that day, you didn’t see Kuanlin as often anymore, which surprised you

it was weird and out of character of him to not have him showing up to classes

and there was always one empty seat next to you, which made your heart ache a bit?

you felt sad that you hadn’t been able to see him at all recently, and he had been extremely slow in replying to any of your messages

Turns out this applied to all your friends in W1 too

You found out eventually that they were preparing for the big national tournament in the coming month, so they were too exhausted to go to class

Videos were popping up on snapchat and facebook of them practising late into the night/morning

sometimes only getting 1 hour of sleep every night, maybe less

you were so shocked, your friends were being overworked like crazy by their coaches, but they just kept smiling and saying that they’re happy

Your birthday comes round, and you decided that you were just going to have a small gathering because all your friends were busy

You sat in the dorm corridor with a small group of your close friends

As you blew out the candles to your cake, you couldn’t help feel upset that none of the boys had been able to make it, or even respond to your invitation

You knew that they’re incredibly busy, so you’re annoyed at yourself for blaming them

You forced a smile onto your face and thanked your friends who had showed up, and after digging into the cake, you all retreated back into your rooms

The clock on your desk ticks away, and as it hits 11.59pm, you sigh

For some reason you had wished that at least Kuanlin could’ve turned up for your birthday

You had stopped denying that you missed him dearly

you missed his voice and his laugh

and his friendship

you also missed that warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach whenever he smiled at you

A few tears roll down your cheek and you wipe them away angrily

Why are you getting so worked up over a boy? 

A boy who is just a friend

Just a friend who bought you multiple coffees

and took notes for you in class that week when you were sick

and accompanied you on late night walks to McDonalds

A sharp knock on your door echoes through your room

Looking at the clock, it’s 3am, and you realise you fell asleep

who tf would be knocking at 3am tho

It’s saturday night, so you’re scared it’s some drunk person causing a scene so you stay in your room

Another knock, but this time a voice rings clearly with it

“Y/N? Are you awake?”

You go over to the door, and after a bit of hesitation you open it

Kuanlin is standing there, holding a present and looking apologetic

“Surprise! Happy Birthday Y/N!”

“You’re three hours late.” you turn your back on him and return to your room with him following behind

“Oh cmon, dont be like that, haven’t you missed me?? Me and the guys are sorry that we couldn’t make it earlier…”

silence

“Y/N? did you hear me?”

He turned on the light and looked at your face clearly

“oh…Y/N, are you crying??”

You shake your head angrily but there’s no denying the tears running down your face

Kuanlin is so concerned, and pulls you into a hug

“Hey, hey, hey it’s alright, what’s made you so upset?”

You hug him back, clinging to him, your anger evaporating at the close proximity

instead your heart is now pounding at an insane speed and you can feel the cheeks starting to heat up

“I just…I’ve just really missed you, you idiot”

you try to disengage yourself from the hug and hide your face but Kuanlin just wipes away your tears gently with his thumbs before pulling you closer and patting your hair

“I missed you too Y/N, a lot.”

He pulls away slightly and hands you the present

“The basketball season is drawing to a close, so we get to go on a break for a few weeks, I just thought I’d come let you know in person and give you this at the same time.”

His face is tinged with pink and he scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment.

After unwrapping it you see it’s a beautifully and intricately designed necklace

You marvel over it as it sits delicately in the palm of your hand

He’s still nervously looking at you trying to assess your reaction

“UH…if you don’t like it, there’s an exchange card in the gift box, so if you don’t want it you can change it to something nicer at the shop just in case you -”

“Kuanlin, it’s beautiful, i really love it”

“YOU DO?”

this boy had spent hours at that shop trying to find that freaking necklace

and every single member of W1 had seen it and reassured him that you’d like it

but he was still nervous af the poor kid

He took a deep breath to try calm himself down as he took the necklace from your hand and signalled for you to turn round

you did and he gently pushed your hair to the side

his fingertips brushed your neck as he put the necklace on you and you couldn’t help but shiver

Suddenly his arms wrapped round your waist and you were enveloped by his warm body

“Y/N…Happy belated Birthday.”

After Kuanlin left that night, you lay in bed replaying the scene over and over in your head

Something about your relationship with him was different now, but in a good way

Playing with the necklace still hanging round your neck, you smiled to yourself

Who knows how things will go from here, but right now all you can think about is the next time you’ll see Kuanlin and how much you liked being in his embrace

huhuhu i always struggle to end my AUs and they turn out extra mushy, im sorry! I’m going to try really hard to do at least one update a week, but because my final exams are coming up real quick I can’t promise anything! Remember, if you’ve sent in a request, I will put them up on my masterlist as soon as I’ve seen them, so you can check if I’ve received them/if i’m working on them there! Once again, thanks for reading!! xo

[strawberryspeachy]

Also im sick of obnoxious japanese eaters

Things ive found out are myths here

1) everyones nice.

No. Everyone smiles hard to cover up whatever assholery theyre doing - if theyre supposed to be nice to you. Public people are the same as usual... except theres alot more shoving

2) everything about school

They don’t pay for school. Its free. Just like ours. Except private school. Just like ours

They are not MORE overworked in school nor do they study more. Their rules are much loser. And just like the states, teachers have no real authority- but unlike the states - the students do not fear repercussions. They can be touched though but thats more because japanese people think its fine to touch each other a lot - ya know. Just dont hug as an adult - but all other invading of some kind of private bubble is fine

3) SLURPING No thats not just a “it shows you love the food!” Bs. Just like the states, the people you hear disgustingly slurping just eat loud and are gross... imo... people here dont seem to think its gross but far more people eat like civilized humans and dont slurp everything from solids to actual liquids.

K like every time the past two days ive had to be near people slurping their fucking food and as a person who HATES hearing people eat... its why im bitching here. LETTUCE DOES NOT NEED SLURPED

4) just anything they call “culture” they used a pretty word to cover for “thats just the dumb thing we do here” its literally like if we said aggressively speed driving and cutting people off is new yorkers culture

Japan has a lot of history and traditions. But mostly they have a lot of bs that theyre just too stubborn to acknowledge and change so they lable it culture. Any changes they make are pretty much like when my great grandmother got a cell phone.

She only turned it on to charge it and make a phone call - leave a voicemail saying that she called - and then would turn it back off. It wasnt ever even on long enough for her to need to charge it.

But in her mind no one could complain that she didnt have one. And the only emergency in her mind was her needing to call you - not vice versa. She wouldnt use it for any other purpose and generally resented its existence. She hated watching anyone else use their cell phones to check the time or take pictures or play games or have lenthy conversations.

Yea. Thats basiclly japan with everything new. They have it. But they dont use it , and its possibilities scare them so the old ppl say its not allowed to be used unless the old people need to use it

Sorry man i hate everywhere i am. My aparment is next to a bar that looks permanently closed during the day. I had no clue it was there till after i moved in and the loud karaoke blared into my window every damn night

My train line is a nightmare and if you wanna see the worst japanese people can be. Ride the train during rush hours

My post office is far away and they refuse to ring my doorbell when i have a delivery and instead just leave slip - if you dont hike over in their made up time period they throw your stuff away

No one will actually help you with serious stuff. They just smile and say sorry and run away — customer service. Yea. Not customer service. They could just as easily be a manican with a smiley face - itd serve the same purpose.

Theres too much paperwork constantly all the time about everything

Nothing is online

Another thing that prompted me for this “this is japanese chocolate”

Cool. I got that its japanese. Im in japan. Everything people point out for me “its japanese____” fucking imagine if we felt the need to point out every damn item as “american” in the states. Why? What is the meaning of this?

They gave me a table to sit at at this school. A table. That they make lunch on and put all their supplies on. A dude just kicked my chair as he came over for some shit. Why am i sitting at a table? Very very few japanese people ive worked with dont make me feel like an adopted pet dog that theyre not sure if itll bite. Dog. Not new person. They literlly have the children fetch me...

And ive grown so so very tired of being asked questions with the intention of having me overhype japan while maintaining that im so stupid that i know absolutely nothing about the country

98% of japanese people assume that you think of japan like youve never even heard of their country before arriving and that you just arrived two days ago

Also. Maybe they think their test scores and clases are so much more difficult because they cant seem to fathom that most other countries schools function the same way as theirs

Yesterday a teacher said “ah theyre so overworked. They have alot to remember” i thought she was about to tell me how many units were on their exam or something... no “english, japanese, science, math, history, pe, food class, art! Too many things. Theyre very overworked”

..... are you for real? Im pretty sure every fucking school has those subjects if you switch out japanese for the countries native language.... this is NORMAL

Im sorry. I know the reason anyone talking to me like this might not like me. Cause im not gonna go WOWWW SUGEII?!?!? So much stuff!! Poor them!

No. Yeah? Thats school...

Look im not an asshole to my kids. If they can manage to tell me any information about their life in english or simple japanese i can translate - i act surprised/ or am if their english is super good.

But adults... no man. Learn some stuff about the outside world. Youre not specifical

Also dating boys here is just like back home except they wont block you and they respond less

Instead of getting “nice” “oh” “idk” and “maybe” as there fading messages - they just leave you on read. Or give you some random information that you didnt ask about that has no relevance to the ‘convo’

Also also. “Speak slow” they dont say this in a ‘my english is not good so speak slower’ way. They say this in a ‘i felt really good about my english until you spoke at a normal pace and my classes and ass-kissing white dudes have taught me that enlgish is spoken slow and percisely so if you dont speak with a japanese accent, your fast english is wrong’

Whatever but like... could you return the favor by speaking japanese slowly. Speak it the way you want me to speak english....

Telling them to speak slow results in something like

... nihon..de〜 nan mabdnshsnabsjsnjsbshssnbsjsbsjshsh ka?

Woah ok... something in Japan... couldnt catch the rest of that

Id be more understanding of this. Its hard to speak slow. Lets both acknowledge this and not - teachers compalining to principals and boys... (1) sending me a fucking video on how to speak my own damn language properly

Also. Do you know how upsetting it is to listen to a student say something perfectly but before i get to praise them - have the japanese teacher jump in and “correct” them...... no no dude please. I know youll have a fucking meltdown if i say no your ways wrong. But now this student is so confused desperately staring at me positive theyre correct and all ive come up with to do is smiling and nodding at them while repeating the way they said hoping the japanese teacher wont notice/get offended

Also togo food... if its not american fast food... generally you cant take it to go... its sad. I have no friends. I just wanna take this home to eat in front of my tv. This isnt serious. Its just a minior inconvenience

Also joking... my japanese isnt good enough to joke. And... idk how... cant explain. The other day a student asked whats my favorite food

And another went hamburger?!? Mcdonalds!!?

I wanted to comment.. but. At least elementary students understand sarcasm. Their teachers dont. And whether the middle schoolers understand and just dont care is up in the air.

Oh! And. I was right last week when i didnt trust my teachers saying that the obvious bullying was just a misunderstanding and the obvious targets fault. Another straight up teacher said some kids have left the school because of bullying and theyre really awful when left alone in the rooms... i told him thats why we cant go unsupervised in america. Japan says the students are just perfect upstanding citizens, so much more caring and mature than other students. Nope. Middle schoolers will be middle schoolers no matter what country.

[girlreportsmoved]

MY JUSTICE LEAGUE REVIEW.

okay, so as many of you know, i did get to see justice league the day it came out last weekend ! a bunch of people have been asking me to post my review, i’ve been incredibly busy which is why this did not post sooner. a bunch of spoilers below, you have been warned. 

so OVERALL, i really did like it....sort of.  i actually liked the length, it was much easier to process & observe then say, the avengers, but we got so m u c h cut, not even just from lois but like.....barry saving iris, vicTOR STONE, i m e a n ...... srsly. like they could have done it ! better ! within the runtime ! if they had just cut out whedons bullshit quips & barry falling into diana boobs! but anyways, more on that later. the score was so so good, esp the opening song i c ried but honestly danny elfman wasnt the best. i wouldve preferred junkiexl, bc at least he wouldve paid homage 2 zimmers score (im v bitter.)

i LOVED the opening montage. snyder all the way i mean, i s t an one(1) caucasian man. also lmao im referring to the gotham city scene, NOT the superman video clip bc a. cgi & b. like what purpose does it even serve if the camera doesnt immediately pan 2 lois after he answers that question lmao. but the batman cinematography over gotham was on p o int. honestly the way they designated each portion of the introduction to a specific superhero - like the coloring, the backstory, everything - i really liked the seperate sections each for aquaman, the flash, cyborg, etc. idk wonderbat was un nessacary in the dceu but i dislike b/en affle/ck so lmao. steve joke was NOT cool tho. 

okay but i LOVE ezra millers’ barry allen. i would die for him im not even JOKING he was so GOOD and stole the show honestly. God bless they couldnt have picked a better actor tbh. i really wished we could have gotten more of cyborg’s insight/backstory but my man ray fisher fucking shined. aquaman strutting down the docks to icky thump while downing a bottle of whiskey is my aesthetic....thats Hawt. again, more backstory (mera was in for like 2 minutes i mean what the fuck)

 but yeah. i wont talk much about batfleck bc a. no character development he was just there lmao and b. i dont like him ( i love comics bruce wayne ok just not gross ass sexual harasser b*n affl*ck playing him).  i love alfred tho. obviously nothing can been the nolanverse alfred but this ones pretty damn good, they both do a good job of knowing lois is both the key AND the big guns, hats off 2 u BOTH. bruce felt so guilty tho i mean whyy bro some of it i think was just so diana could comfort him which was....uh ok. i like the gadgets !! also him adopting barry allen. i miss the batfamily!! also ‘whats ur superpower’ ‘im rich’ well goddamN. wonder woman was underused. i mean she can obviously hold her own in a fight against supes longer then that, if not beating him like r u KIDDING me. but ya my girl kicked ass

moving on, steppenwolf couldve used more backstory/screentime. i didnt...rlly...get...his motives aside from him being chaos personified or whatever. not the best villian but he couldve been tbh with the story he had. my AMAZONS slayed. the motherbox thing was explained so quickly, the connections between worlds was v clear like damn the mcu could never (i love marvel dont get it twisted tho.)  i loved the themes of unity and everything but it needed more woman. i know this sounds arbitrary but...lmao so far, no male-centred dceu film has passed the bechtel test. wonder woman is the ONLY one. fucking ridiculous.  not even a two minutes conversation with lois empathizing with her pain like goddamn.

clarks alive, we been KNEW, obviously. the resurrection wasnt super confusing but kind of like a letdown. i would have preferred if it hadnt been the league to resurrect him, instead like some other sun power or maybe steppenwolfs scheme or something, it seemed a little wrong. im not even gonna talk about henrys mustache until later when i unload the shit in whedon sO - i personally like his new suit!! he wasnt in the film too much tbh, honestly wb either owes me a full directors cut of him explaining his thought process about returning to earth and his character development theron, OR man of steel 2. like cmon man. boy came back from the dead wtf is going on there. much more of a classic superman then in bvs which i liked, but it seemed kind of rushed & i miss snyders depth.

now onto the main event: (jkjk but rly) LOIS JOANNE LANE !  first off i really loved her wardrobe, the contrasing blues and navies with her red hair like...i see u supes coloring scheme, i see what u did there. i love her bond with martha. i love amys face. but u know what i didnt love that ill 10000% elaborate more on and put into a seperate post for my jl verse? pretty much everything else. yes, a woman’s grief should be validated and never underestimated or mocked, yes, a woman’s grief does not make her any bit less strong. but lois, my lois at least, i strongly believe, would not have stuck to fluff pieces. she is VERY all or nothing when it comes to this, its either the truth, or nothing at all. in the event of supermans death OR disappearance, she would have grieved, she would have been heartbroken - but she would have persevered, evidenced in the comics heavily. more on this later.

i am VERY pissed about amy’s cut/reshot scenes. all the heartfelt clips shown during test screenings, all of zacks intentions, all of the original screenplay - lmao, cut.  does lois ever talk to martha about anything other then clark? groceries? investigations? anything else to build a solid mother-daughter relationship? ok. the nightmare scene where she remembers clark? gone. the in depth conversations with martha in the farmhouse? zilch. the independent investigations of s.t.a.r labs unveiling steppenwolf/ the mother boxes that shows her manifesto in full force? nowhere. the goddamn proper clois reunion from the trailer where the ring was MENTIONED/CONFIRMED like every other logical person expected, the heartfelt reunion about truth and justice and love? fucking no w here.

lois lane deserves a stand alone. or at least a short, or a tv show. im fucking serious. all that lois/diana setup from bvs and they dont even t a lk. cmon. lois is a sidenote in the story !! im so MAD. like yes, forever grateful for ‘big guns’ and ‘backup plan’ but whedon fuckin twisted it all man.....what happened to her being the key? how the fuck did flash know about this? did they cut something else? i MEAN she has virtually NO onscreen contact with bruce, who should be regularly checking up on her bc shes the key & all, or from diana, who sympathizes with her pain via bvs/ww cinematographic parallels that were obviously intentional. no league interactions at all. im unimpressed.

and finally, FINALLY, the real bone i have to pick with this movie. joss whedon. gross ass bitch doesnt even cut it so im gonna try to keep this as short as possible. he reshot ALL of supermans scenes against snyders will, reducing the role of him and lois, disregarding the talent of amy adams and reducing her whole ‘arc’ to be about clark, the flash/diana boob faceplant, the horrible cinematography, bruces’ steve trevor references, its all fucking whedon. i could go on, but i dont wanna combust into flames. so. lets just say hes a piece of middle-aged bald white man mediocrity with a brain the size of a a literal bat shit. fuck him. 

but OVERALL, i would give this film around a 60-65/100, which is being generous. they could have done!! so GOOD!! but no they picked a trash bag to direct the film reshoots? sad.

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #14: "i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted)” - Bryce

I can't believe that I am here. I made it to the Final 4. It is very crazy. I thought that I was toast in the Final 6. So to be here now is very exciting and shocking. The final 3 is going to depend on who wins immunity. I am really hoping that I could win this immunity to secure my spot in the final 3. If not then I hope that Matt doesn't win it. He needs to be an option just in case. I'm very nervous. I just finished my rites of passage. and its crazy that its almost final tribal.

so im getting 4th. FJKASDHFKJh this comp is so hard and like im literally not gonna be able to do endurance so i need to do well on the other stuff but i just dont see that happening... like this puzzle first try was 70 minutes FJKASDHFKAJS. AND I KNOW COUNTING WILL MESS ME UP BC IM NERVOUS WRECK i didnt even mean to caps that but its tea. like flash game i think when i played this once before i wasnt bad but maybe i was who knows. im so emo like no one is talking to me anymore FKJASHDFKJ like i guess bc its just 1 vote left they dont wanna pretend they wont cut me FJAKSDFH like my game not even that good im gonna get dragged by sharky/nathan/keaton/nicole/ everyone but brian... maybe even brian who knows NNNN. my nnn. is so iconic.. maynor who?. idk like ok so if i win immunity (which i wont) idek what to do like i feel like voting matt is the best option maybe. bc i WONT be voting maynor bc i love him (not that i dont love anna and matt) but i just feel like we've had the best relationship of the f4 and im confident that the jury will like my game more than his (maybe they wont tho... i say confident but i mean 2% (not skim) sure they will) but ok so annabelle prob is hated by jury at least from brian and maybe even sharky? but like she didnt play bad she literally made most iconic move at f6 and i respect that but idk if jurors do like ppl keep saying shes a goat  so maybe she has no chance. and then theres matt where like ppl cant be mad he voted them when everyone and their mom in this game has voted him ASDKJFHASDKJ. like so hes prob liked by jury but i just dont know if hes done anything to deserve to win. he found 2 idols successfully played 1 but that was more on anna/nicks weird sense of leaking when it didnt really benefit them.  but like ok he was least threatening member of trio who got to the end so underdog edit is there even tho he literally wasnt underdog tbh u know who was an underdog... ME. i had NO ONE but nathan for a lil.. then dennis... then he got ROBBED. so then i had brian... but he got ROBBED. and now i have maynor like ive literally flipped and flopped to better my game and idk like i am physically able to meaningfully say ive done anything good ever in life or orgs but like i didnt do too bad i think! KJFAHSDKJF... idk maybe im getting 0 votes 3rd place no matter what and if thats the case im still so happy bc ive had a lot of fun in this game and met some true friends (and keaton) but like im getting 4th anyway so doesnt matter! ugh that sounds like a final goodbye confession but i know me and im gonna confess like 10 more times before this round is over so if i do get 4th/3rd just know that this was my true end...

So like.... I do not think i'm winning immunity. like at all. which makes me pretty nervous ngl. I really want to be there at the finale cause i think I have a good shot. If Bryce loses, i'm fairly sure i'm good to get to FTC but otherwise im scared. Making FTC would be really good for me cause I think i can out argue Maynor and Annabelle fairly well, but otherwise with bryce there idk. So like, BRYCE CAN'T WIN IMMUNITY. Also this FIC is disgusting like no thanks. I've already fucked up the 2 live ones so uh ya am annoyed :(. woo final juror here i come!

Bryce won immunity. Im glad. I wouldnt want to be in the position to vote Bryce. I had to abstained from the counting part cuz it triggered my anxiety. I tried tho but i couldnt. This vote is going to be said. Matt is going to go 4th. And i feel really bad. We got to know each other more during every tribal. This really sucks. I just dont want to give him false hope where there isnt any. Im going to help tomorrow.

I am so getting final juror. fuck. i knew it would happen if bryce won immunity and it fucking is. I am so sad about this. I have worked so hard all game to get here and its just being tossed away like that. I am SO sad. I have fucked up my sleep schedule for this game and now its getting me final juror. ugh. i just wanted to get to the end and like argue my case. but now? not happening :( i hate this

I WON I REALLY WON IMMUNITY ASKDJFHASKDJF I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE WHEN I GOT 12 POSTS ASJFKHKASJFDHASDKJF THATS SO NNNNN IM SO HAPPY BUT SO SAD BC NOW I TRIED TO TELL MATT IM VOTING HIM BC I WANT TO BE HONEST BUT HE SAYS HES TALKING TO A BRICK WALL LIKE???? SORRY FOR NOT WANTING TO GIVE U FALSE HOPE AJDSFHDKAJ its honestly so rude like ive been in that position before so i know what its like when ur pleading ur case and the person doesnt seem to care and im NOT doing that. but obvioulsy i didnt just make up a plan on what to do at f4 so obviously i have thoughts and plans and im not just gonna switch it up bc u plea to me now. idk KJASHDFKJ also im so scared im gonna lose now NNN hes saying anna played so well and tbh she kind of did maybe i lose no matter what...

So like i am leaving but its ok! why? cause i will preserve my legacy by dropping a whole ass fajita recipe here so that I can feel like i have made an IMPACT on the season. Even though like im still sad its me, im going out with a bang baby! I don't use this recipe personally ( I am a broke student) but its v.good!

Ingredients: 2 large chicken breasts, finely sliced 1 red onion, finely sliced (ready to make you cry) 1 red pepper, sliced 1 red chilli, finely sliced (optional) For the marinade 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika 1 tbsp ground coriander pinch of ground cumin 2 medium garlic cloves, crushed 4 tbsp olive oil 1 lime juiced 4-5 drops Tabasco

Method: Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6 and wrap 6 medium tortillas in foil.

Mix 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika, 1 tbsp ground coriander, a pinch of ground cumin, 2 crushed garlic cloves, 4 tbsp olive oil, the juice of 1 lime and 4-5 drops Tabasco together in a bowl with a big pinch each of salt and pepper.

Stir 2 finely sliced chicken breasts, 1 finely sliced red onion, 1 sliced red pepper and 1 finely sliced red chilli, if using, into the marinade.


Heat a griddle pan until smoking hot and add the chicken and marinade to the pan.

Keep everything moving over a high heat for about 5 mins using tongs until you get a nice charred effect. If your griddle pan is small you may need to do this in two batches.

To check the chicken is cooked, find the thickest part and tear in half – if any part is still raw cook until done.

Put the tortillas in the oven to heat up and serve with the cooked chicken, a bag of mixed salad and one 230g tub of fresh salsa.

hope the random person reading this uses it otherwise gj future me reading this you've officially gone insane! yeet ig?

This is going to be a sad day. I really like Matt and dont want to vote him out but its the best option from the people available. It really sucks. I feel his pain and ahh.

I’m literally going to cry. I want to help Matt. I wish we could all be final 3 but we can’t. I’m dying emotionally. Final 4 always has so much pressure cuz theres only 4 people left. I hope Matt doesn’t hate me. I hope he understands thisnis a game move because he techinically was the underdog in the beginning then was on top then back to underdog. I just hope he doesnt take it personal that I don’t think tie-ing it for him would be good for my game.

OMG IDK WHATS GONNA HAPPEN MATT GO HOME PLS BUT I FEEL LIKE ANNA IS VOTING MAYNOR IM GONNA BE SO SAD AHHHH DJSKFHSDKJF

Matt is voted out 3-1. He becomes the final juror.

ok so i had the worst day of my life today and didnt plan my speech at all so thats where im at NNN time to fake smile and hope the jurors like my ad libbed speech ASFKUHDFKJ ftc starts in 4 minutes.

well.. that was interesting adsjflhasdkfj. Like i always have 0 confidence in myself so i think im gonna lose and i really do respect the game that anna and maynor played. im just sad that i dont think i articulated myself well bc like im so bad with words anajsfhakj and ppl were saying conflicting things and its just not in me to like chime in with my pov to possible sway it in my favor bc i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted) but yaaa like i truly think that maybe i kind of did play super well and deserve to win but either way ill be happy bc i made *some* genuine friendships and also like had so much fun voting ppl out KFADHSKJASHK. i wish i like wrote what all my confessionals were so i could reference sth i said on day 1 but it was prob like i hate my tribe they ignore me so maybe ill just say that again FKJADSHFKJ. we love coming full circle... im so hungry i didnt eat so i will now stop typing to get dinner maybe i will write another confessional. omg wait gotta have some line thats iconic in case theres an episode title... think... love talking to myself FAKSDHFKj im so funny when i was like "i realized hey i respond to myself ill take me to the end" its such a mood KFJASDHFKJ ok but hm... ok. maybe im a snake who doesnt actually care about people and use them to my advantage to get my way but at least im not jayden. OMG jk thats so mean even tho he deserves it ALSO i was gonna like comment on keaton being like "saying the n word doesnt make u racist" but then he was kind of nice to me so i didnt.. love being as fake woke as me... not being confrontational to get a jury vote... so gross NNNN wooh idk how to end this but watch waves music video normani literally snapped so hard is being as slept on as me. omg wait... maybe im a pillow bc i sure am being slept on. iconic line.... i love the hosts so much ignore literally every cringe thing i wrote in this confessional pls FKJADSHKFJ

IM VERY DRUNK AND I DNT KNOW IF I HAD TO. BUT EITHER BRYCE OR ANNA WILL WIN CUZ IM A MES AND DONT DESERVE TO CUZ THEY WERE BOTH AMAZING FOR LETTING ME GET TO FTC. I WANNA THANK ANNA THE HOST FOR BEING AMAZING AND GREAT. I LIKED THE ALICE THEM CUZ HEART CUZ ICANT  EMOHJI, ,LOVED THIS SEASON AND UR ALL AMAZING HOSTS.

Im happy I made it to the final 3. And even though FTC was bad; I enjoyed it. I know I’m probably getting 3rd which is fine. I have so much respect to Annabelle and Bryce and everyone in the jury. I’m more excited to be able to talk to all of them again. Let’s see who is our winner will it be Bryce or Annabelle!? The hosts you guys were amazing and i had a great time this season. Im glad Jones pushed and convinced me to apply. Thank you for giving me a spot in this season. And Jones you da best. 💖💛💙

confession time. everytime i write one of these i put the day as who are u and my name as what day is it.. my mind always having to go change it. but um didnt think i would be writing another one of these FJKSADF but i have no self control and winner reveal is in 4 and a half hours and im literally sick FAKJDSk i feel so anxious and nervous like even if i lose im gonna be happy but i just really want to win also im still trying to process ppl not liking me or my gameplay and saying i played with their emotions FJKASDHFJ i had a blast. anyways this is the anthem of the day apparently https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhzN7SfnNeY

WHATS GOING ON?? IM TIRED IS WHATS GOING ON IM SO ANXIOUS! im sooo anxious i want to win. pls...

Bryce wins Celestial Marmoreal in a 4-3-0 vote!