#idk someone's probably made something like this already

[hihi10000]

okay so i thought of something (but please tell me if someone else already thought of this and ill take this down)

SO you know how when we attempt shifting normally we visualize our bed and surroundings etc etc. So why don’t we try to “shift” to our CR and like visualize and act like this is where we want to shift to cause then you will wake up in ur CR and be like “omg!! i shifted!! and i reached where i wanted to! so now it’s so easy to reach my dr!!” you know? like get yourself excited cause you DID visualize and you DID get to the place you wanted technically. (idk if this makes sense but it made a lot more sense in my head😭)

ALSO like if u do want to shift to an alternative CR like change one thing but like not necessarily a physical change but maybe something with people like “Im shifting to a similar reality but instead, people at school smile at me more” or “im shifting to a reality where im nicer/my siblings are nicer” like idk, it could be anything even simple, to get you into a better mindset and into really believing in yourself that you can shift !

(Reya said something similar to the last point, so credits go to her for the idea, but I feel like scripting something like the example I gave, is better than scripting “my wall will change color” cause as someone who tried that before, i was consistently checking in the middle of the method whether it worked 😭. so I wanted to help people like me who probably struggled with the same thing)

[kindalonely-ngl]

Sylus's Voice Call: Remote Support

Today I felt like listening to his voice so I re-listen to his old voice calls and I realized I haven't listen to his Remote Support call.

I've said this before that Sylus is the type of person who I will probably love and admire from a safe distance because I am scared(?), intimidated, feel small yet attracted and in awed by his huge and secure presence. Like if I get to befriend him, I will try my best not to show my naturally pessimistic side. I will seek advice, yes, but I wouldn't dare to complain and whine in front of him because I feel like he won't entertain such things and would prefer if we get our shit together and face the problems ahead. Sylus is someone who will push his person to be the better version of themself whether the person is ready to face themself or not. He's a fierce green flag, a kind of friend my mom would pray for me to have, and the person who I should hold on to. But for me and my low self-esteem, Sylus is simply intimidatingly admirable.

... and through this voice call, I could say that I was almost right.

Maybe because I've met some friends and acquintances who have almost similar mentality/personality/presence as Sylus and I remember their firm, "positive" response and optimistic outlook made me feel even smaller, extra pessimistic and weak. And as the call continued, I was hella nervous when MC kept on pointing out how he was acting different than the "usual" Sylus would act (pampering her, calming her down, playing along with her antics etc)

I was like "Girl, just say thank you and ask for a simple advice and support or something. Stop it I'm scared! 😭"

Maybe because I've never been too close to anyone in my life, most of the time I felt like MC is pushing it too far and that makes me feel scared and my social anxiety would just gradually makes its way into my already anxious heart. And I often thought to myself "Is this normal? Is this how people interact these days? Is this what they called a cute banter between people in love? Is this flirting? I'm scared." Especially when replying to the LIs texts, I always find myself feeling nervous, scared to choose between 3 options, as if there are right and wrong answers or the affinity level would drop if I choose the wrong one. Idk what to do with myself so sometimes I would left the texts unread for a few days until I'm ready lmao and that's how I actually am irl too.

Anyways, as my heart started pounding anxiously, waiting for his sharp remarks, I was relieved when he put them in words nicely. I was baffled at myself for expecting him to say mean things to MC lol.

When he said "believe in yourself" so softly I got teary eyes, heartbeat slowed down, I exhaled the breath I didn't realized I've been holding for a while and I just fell in love with him. Again.

And when he said that he would be there for MC anytime haaa such a heart pounding and warming phone call 😩.

I love him and I would love him to be real but at the same time I would be sad if he is real because I know he won't even glance at my negative, pessimistic, low self-esteem ass. Seeing how he loves MC whose personality I can't relate to at all, yeah just stay fictional, my dear Sylus.

In conclusion, I'm scaroused of Sylus.

[nerves-nebula]

sa ramblings under here, specifically about sa and pregnancy

nobody is asking for my opinion on this but its something i've thought about all my life. which is that i'd probably carry a rapists baby to term if i had the choice and resources at the time. cuz i want a kid and i don't want to have sex or pay for fertilization or anything. and if it already happened then. well. might as well get something i want out of it.

this is not a take about abortion btw. it's just something about me that's always been the case. i know that conservative freaks want to force people to give birth to rapists babies which is like. awful and disgusting. but it's always made me uncomfortable how people will go to the extreme opposite and say shit like "who would EVER want to CARRY their RAPISTS BABY that's DISGUSTING and EVIL" like idk. me i guess. what happened to it being about choice. you don't have to paint it as an inherently degrading and repulsive and weak thing to choose.

obviously this is hypothetical to me right now, maybe if it actually happened i'd change my mind. but i've been repulsed by the idea of having sex with someone for as long as i can remember, i would think about it a lot as a kid because i didnt WANT to have sex, but i DID want kids, and i did want to get pregnant, and i never knew if i'd have the money to use a donor. plus donors are like, their own whole bag of worms.

so like as a 13 year old i was basically thinking it was the only way to get what i wanted i guess? like i'd get a kid and not have to be stuck with a partner. and yeah i'd get raped, but at the time rape seemed almost inevitable, because my dad was so obsessed with telling me that i specifically was going to be raped.

anyway i might delete this later cuz i know no one on the internet can read, but it's been on my mind i guess. probably cuz my friend told me about people getting mad about a mouthwashing fan comic where anya kept the lil fetus lmao. i haven't seen it so i can't judge it but as someone who wants kids, regardless of how they come to me, i find the knee jerk reaction that its an inherently disgusting, degrading decision to make or write about a little weird. as though it would be conceding to the rapist somehow to decide to have the kid.

to me the choice to keep it or abort it has always been key, and it's the ability to chose that turns it into something empowering. which is why you should always have that choice and not be shame for it either way.

like, if you abort it it's like congrats! you flushed the parasite out of your system and don't have to fear or worry about that anymore! and if you keep it, it's like, someone tried to hurt me and i turned it into something to treasure. but if you don't have a choice either way, that's when it's horrific and degrading. whatever :p

[salemontrial]

Why the FUCK didn't Sasha apologize to Quinni.

[claitea]

whoa guys did you see the new cards i really want alto's full art!!

made with this site! art without the text under the cut :D

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[purpurussy]

.

[oh-meow-swirls]

how does the raft not capsize.

[lesbianfrottage]

Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!

[wheucto]

ii au where (nearly) everyone on the show is just some kind of abnormal being

[devotedlystrangewizard]

i dont like saying astarion is my least favorite of the companions because it makes me feel like im such a "look at me im so special" guy but he honest to fucking god. is my least favorite. i cannot keep silent on this matter. i think hes a good character, i think neil did a fantastic job with him, but also hes committed the unforgiveable sin of annoying me and for that he gets one thousand years in brain jail

[byanyan]

ㅤbyan doesn't care much for their birthday. growing up, they would get lost in the shuffle a lot of the time and end up lucky if they got so much as a slice of cake. they did get a few parties thanks to some of their foster families, but most years there was little more than disappointment to speak of — something that hits hard when you're a kid and birthdays are still exciting. this led to a lot of jealousy toward the kids who were celebrated, a lot of misplaced anger, and because of this there were a couple instances of them lashing out at birthday parties they were invited to. ...needless to say, they weren't invited to many more after this.

at this point they prefer to ignore the day entirely. all it really does is serve as a reminder of how little they mean to the world around them. even those happy memories they have of having the day celebrated have turned sour, becoming a further reminder of how replaceable they are even to people who do care about them.

the last few years, they've "celebrated" on their birthday by going out to be self-destructive and get impossibly high, often not returning home until well after 8 the next morning.

[genekies]

screaming in the club

time for another vent in tags

[houseofwolvess]

sexuality is so dumb. relationships are dumb. romance is dumb and sex is dumb and it's all too fucking complicated and weird

[popponn]

rin and his feeling about "rin's similarity to sae" is so interesting but confusing

[caffeinatedopossum]

it happened again 😭

Skgjfh this took me so long to understand because I thought this was tumblr, I've literally never seen reddit on light mode before

Also skfkfj uh oh I bet the comments are full of people saying this isn't synesthesia and that i need to stop diagnosing people like on here 🤦‍♂️