Tumgik
#idk someone's probably made something like this already
machveil · 2 days
Note
Trying not to think about Simon 'Always Doing Acts of Service and Caring for Others Silently' Ghost Riley forgetting to care for himself as much, and how it would probably touch a part of his heart he thought wasn't there anymore if someone did the same for him. Something simple, like just a new jacket after his old one got wrecked from wear and tear, that's thick and durable but soft and comfortable, a nice weight on his shoulders but doesn't make him sweat, resting over his chair. Or after a long day of work where he's dragging himself along, finding a meal already made for him sitting in the fridge, something actually cooked and seasoned the way he likes so he doesn't have to think about cooking or go to bed on an empty stomach. Idk, this has been rattling around in my brain all day and I needed to get it out, sorry if this is weird! Also really like your art and writing, congrats on the 1k, you deserve it and so much more!
anon I’m smooching your big, beautiful brain (I wrote this in one sitting, hope it’s not terrible lol)
Simon Riley is a man of action - Ghost, the most literal manifestation of serving. Ghost follows and gives orders to assure his team, his friends, make it home safe at the end of a deployment. as a Lieutenant, Simon wouldn’t say it out loud, but he cares so deeply for his team. Task Force 141 is a second home to him, more so the people, and thus makes it his job to protect them
but Simon Riley is also a man of action off duty - a civilian who’s heart rests in your hands. loyal as a dog, Simon would do anything for you. a man of action, he’ll insist you relax, you shouldn’t lift a finger for something small. anything Simon can do in your stead he will. because, while his team is a second home, his true home is you
but Simon, stubborn and strong as he is, gets tired. front door clicking shut, mask already being tugged off, his muscles are tense and sore after a long day. dirty blond hair messy and eyes half lidded with exhaustion, he’s still only got one thing on his mind - to serve you and make you happy. he already planned on trudging into the kitchen to make dinner, something simple but filling. he pauses when he smells food already though
kicking his boots off, worn and dirty, he makes his way to the little kitchen around the corner. cracking a small, barely there smile at the sight in front of him. you, moving about the kitchen. the lights a little dim - he’d change the lightbulb later, and there you are, cooking a meal. one step ahead of him, and he soaks in the domestic scene. a part of him wants to step in, tell you you’ve done enough and he’ll finish everything off… but he doesn’t have the heart to disrupt this cozy, intimate moment
it’s only when you see him does he approach, hands a touch too rough and calloused - he’s sure you’ll make him moisturize later. “Smells nice, lovie.”, he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your hairline. eyes fluttering shut as he holds your hands, a small grin tugs at his lips, “S‘pose the food smells good too.”. he relishes in the laugh that leaves you, the way you squeeze his hands. he moves to press a kiss to your jaw, slightly crooked nose nudging against you as his hands wander to your hips - touch featherlight, as if handling you any rougher might shatter you
there’s a reluctance in his heart as he lets go of you, scoffing when you tell him to go sit down. “Bossy little thing.”, he mumbles, voice lighthearted as he leans back against a counter. he stays there for just a moment, one last glance at you happily cooking - cooking for him. it melts his heart knowing that you’re just a loyal as him, that you’d both run to the ends of the Earth for each other
he’s content to finally relax, leaving the kitchen to slump against a chair in the small dining room. head tilted back a little as he rolls his shoulders, his hands move to idly take his belt off - he’d change later, a hot shower after dinner always made him feel better. maybe he’d convince you to join him, better yet— maybe he’d convince himself to indulge in a hot bath instead. and when you join him at the table, sitting down next to him with a full plate for him, Simon feels butterflies in his stomach
he loves eating with you, sharing a meal and letting his guard down. gaze smitten as he listens to you recount your day, breathing steady as he hums. and when everything is done, stubborn man, he’ll take the dishes to the kitchen. as much as he’d like to wash them straight away, he settles for leaving them in the sink tonight. soon enough he’s sweeping you up in his arms - no matter how roughed up and sore he is, he always finds the strength to carry you. he’ll ignore any protest that, “Simon! I can walk—“, a gruff chuckle rumbling in his chest, “Know that, love, but I can carry you just fine.”
and from then on, Simon feels like he’s floating. in a dreamlike state, he sets you down on the cool bathroom floor, feet making contact with tile. gently thumbing at your hips, he presses a soft kiss to your lips, “Thank you.”. soft spoken words contrasting his gravely voice, another kiss pressed to your cheek - lips a little chapped, but he’s never heard you complain about them
and when you help each other slowly strip, the bathroom filling with mist like steam, he feels the tension in his muscles give. he puts up a little fight, grumbled words, when you insist on sudsing him up. he’s all bark though, when he feels you rub his aching shoulders he feels like he could never muster up any bite ever agiain. comfortable and turning to putty in your hands, he’ll happily let you mould him into a soft, gentle man
he’ll lazily return the favor, rough hands lathered in your body wash. content. feeling you under his palms, warm skin dotted with beads of water and bubbles, Simon’s content. a warmth in his chest that he’s still not used to. the simple intimacy of washing away the sweat and filth from the day, it makes Simon feel like a new man - and to wash you? he’s happy you feel safe enough, that you trust him, to handle you so carefully
and at the end of the night, cleaned from the dirt of his daily life, Simon settles in bed with you. all gentle touches and soft, murmured praise - you did so good for him today. he fights the back of his mind off, you’ve taught him better than to believe those gnawing words. Simon Riley deserves this. a phrase you carved into his heart, long since settled at the forefront of his mind. and as he holds you to his chest, warm hand on the small of your back, he sighs deeply…
a man of action deserves rest
192 notes · View notes
Note
Idk if you ever did an ask like this but I thought it was kinda cute
SO and skelly went out for ice cream, someone then bumped into skelly (or something startled them) and made their ice cream drop. SO, being a great datemate, offers them their ice cream instead. Reactions?
Undertale Sans - Aw. Nah, he gives it back to you. He's not a big fan of ice cream in the first place. He appreciates the gesture though. Just walking with you is already enough for his happiness.
Undertale Papyrus - Nonsense! You're not the one who makes the ice cream fall, it's that random person and he's going to explain the situation to the ice cream seller to have a new one. There's no way he's stealing your ice cream.
Underswap Sans - He's embarrassed and gives the ice cream back to you. He's not a big fan of sugary food in the first place. He's still salty about the money he lost though! Ice creams are expensive in this part of the town and he's so mad he didn't get to eat it. He hopes he won't see that guy again because he might tell them what he thinks of that.
Underswap Papyrus - Oh :( Honey looks at the ice cream on the floor, sad. It's probably his fault, he's too clumsy. He's happy when you propose your ice cream but insists you share it. You paid for that, he doesn't want to ruin your fun. He still calls you his hero though.
Underfell Sans - He doesn't hear you, he's too pissed off by what just happened. Red is going to drag the poor guy to the ice cream stand and make them pay for a second ice cream. You stare from a distance, wondering if you should intervene or let him have his moment of glory as he gets what he wants eventually.
Underfell Papyrus - "NO, THAT'S OK. I WAS TOLD A VERY YOUNG AGE THAT GOOD THINGS NEVER LAST LONG IN THIS PATHETIC WORLD." Ok, wow, now you're very concerned and insist he gets your ice cream even more. Edge is very dramatic about it, but eventually accepts to share yours very reluctantly. You swear he's going to be your end someday.
Horrortale Sans - He stares at you with wide eyes. No, he can't do that! That's your food! What if you starve? You still insist he has it. Oak is very touched and ends up taking it like it's the rarest treasure he ever held. He still buys you a gigantic one later that day because the thought you might be starving still stays in his head. And he doesn't want that.
Horrortale Papyrus - What? No! Keep it, it's yours. He always has random things to eat in his pockets, you need your ice cream more than him. You're a bit concerned if he's having a traumatic episode or not as he seems to confuse a bit the Underground and the real world suddenly. You force him to sit for a bit and go to buy another ice cream so you don't stress him more. He's VERY thankful for that.
Swapfell Sans - No. He's grumpy and salty so he's going to be a pain in the butt and says no to everything. He's pouting, and despite being a literal millionaire, you're the one who goes to pay him another ice cream so he stops acting like a child. He wants to refuse it at first, just because, but you give him the big angry eyes and he ends up accepting it. He won't stop criticizing the taste though lol, just to be annoying.
Swapfell Papyrus - What? No! He could never take that ice cream from you. But that's fine because you know what else he has? A brother holding another ice cream. Nox growls at him, protecting his ice cream, but then Rus says that surely Nox wouldn't want Alphys to know the general of the royal guard can throw temper tantrums over ice creams, think of his reputation! Rus ends up having his ice cream, Nox is a jerk with you for the rest of the week despite all of this not being your fault at all. Only Rus is happy in this story.
Fellswap Gold Sans - He gives you a look of pure disdain. What do you think? That he needs your pity? He huffs, continues to walk and completely ignores you. He has his pride, but it's hard to take him seriously with that huge chocolate stain on his white shirt honestly. You prefer not to mention that, you have a feeling he's not going to like it.
Fellswap Gold Papyrus - You got a bit scared he might actually lick the ice cream from the floor. Coffee's eyes shine as you give him your ice cream. Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! He tackles you for a hug. Your ice cream crashes on the floor because of the hug. ... Ah.
21 notes · View notes
literatureloverx · 1 day
Note
One of the things I find curious about Fyodor is that in the latest bsd guidebook, he describes himself as the color white like his hometown's snow. Fyodor still remembers his hometown, after all he's gone through and after all this time. And he describes himself as the color white like its snow. That with his character's disconnect from people, makes me very excited for when Asagiri decides to reveal his character's backstory. Of course he probably means snow in a more way of "purity" than sentimentalism for his hometown itself but omg he mentions his hometown which is something enough. Not "like snow" which would convey purity enough but "like the snow from my hometown". Maybe it's because he found his faith there? Maybe he just wants to pay respect to where he was birthed? Idk but there's much to theorize. What are your thoughts?
-🎪 anon
I agree, 🎪-anon!♥️
I don’t know if it’s because he found his faith there, but I think that is very likely and seems reasonable.
However, I also believe he was born into a religious family to begin with. I’ve thought through other aspects as well. Let me break it down for you:
Tumblr media
Purity and Fyodor’s inner moral code:
Fyodor describing himself as the color white, especially like the snow from his hometown, speaks volumes. It hints at his complex inner moral code—he engages in dark actions under the belief that they serve a greater good.
This idea of “purity” contrasts sharply with his behavior. But does it?
In my humble opinion, he is well aware that what he does is evil, but his inner moral depiction is influenced by Machiavellian tendencies.
He does whatever he needs to do to cleanse humanity of their sins. Therefore, his actions reflect Machiavellian principles.
In short: the ends justify the means (The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli).
I’m imagining it like this: God has given him the enormous power of being immortal—never truly able to die.
God also gifted him with an intelligence that is above any other human being.
This means he must be someone important.
This means he is meant to be the rightful hand of God, tasked with creating a world that is worthy of God’s beauty.
Therefore, he wishes to help God’s creations, cleansing them and this sinful world of all their sins.
This is one reason why he says that he likes all humanity equally. Because he really does.
They are all the same to him—fools who could do better. Fools that could be worthy of God’s perfect world.
What fascinates me the most about him is that, even though he is doing all of this out of pure self-assurance and his own complex inner moral compass, he still claims that he is doing it for the whole world. And I believe he does.
I can totally see this being his ultimate end in the future.
His Hometown and it’s significance for him:
By referencing his hometown, he reveals a more humane side to himself.
If you haven't already, l'd recommend you read THIS and THIS posts of mine, where I explained very clearly how I perceive Fyodor's humane side.
It shows that he yearns for connection and perhaps misses the simplicity and innocence of his past.
This duality makes him such a fascinating character, caught between his dark pursuits and the remnants of his humanity.
Imagine feeling like, or even knowing that you're "the chosen one," only to end up isolated, dehumanized, and lonely, with nothing to hold onto but your belief in your God.
You can't die, because the only way for you to do so is by your own hands, which is considered the greatest sin.
You can't die. Not until you take your own life.
How deep must his religious beliefs run for him to be this dedicated to his goal, mentally able to endure and live for hundreds, maybe thousands of years?
This made me so emotional. I want to give him a hug. My precious love.♥️
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
22 notes · View notes
salemontrial · 5 months
Text
Why the FUCK didn't Sasha apologize to Quinni.
#no im so pissed about that.#dude you don't give an autistic person a meltdown that big over something that hurtful#and just#walk away scot free#last time someone gave me a meltdown that hardcore I cut them off for a month.#that might just be the bpd tho#but still#quinni doesn't seem like the type to just. be chill without an apology and hearing sasha explain herself#and then she makes her her vice??????????#she already acknowledged sasha is only in it for the power trip#sasha didn't even do anything in the investigation she just followed quinni around#which as she should#but she hasn't made up for how she treated quinni AT ALL#in fact she's just gotten MORE of a performative activist#like why the fuck was she such a bitch to missy abt spider#i get it yea. ur friends sometimes have dogshit taste in men but you don't need to make them feel like trash abt it#and the way she was like 'he fetishizes u for being black omg its probably asian girls next omg i dont feel safe'#THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU????????.#also she 100% jumpstarted quinnis identity crisis#with how she was constantly switching between infantilizing her and undermining her autonomy over her own decisions#and treating doing things quinni wanted to do and the specific way she needed to do them as a chore#and then victimizing herself!!!!!!!#like from experience that relationship dynamic IS abusive to autistic people it just is#idk if nt people get it but it's really fucking awful to come from your partner#anyway. until sasha apologizes to both quinni and missy this will continue to be a sasha hate page.#heartbreak high#heartbreak high season 2#quinni gallagher jones#sasha so#missy beckett
75 notes · View notes
claitea · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
whoa guys did you see the new cards i really want alto's full art!!
made with this site! art without the text under the cut :D
Tumblr media
#pokemon#pokemon oc#pokemon ranger#pokemon tcg#clai's ocs#oc: alto#clai's art#the thought process during this piece was literally ''NOOO I DONT WANT TO RENDER NOOOOO rendering is fine actually. i dont care anymore''#i tried to come up with a cool card effect? someone more well versed in the tcg please tell me if this is viable or op or sucks ass entirely#i will genuinely change the post if the effect is bad i want my beloved to have ONLY the best#other ideas i considered was smth like. finding a pokemon to play straight away to reference ranger capturing#or an effect that only benefit colorless type pokemon so that alto would pair with flying types that get assigned colorless#but since i wanted the card's name to be alto's Justice it felt more appropriate for the player to gain smth after being damaged#like maybe it depended on the opponents prize cards and how many they'd taken already#the prior effects like the colorless benefit would probably go on a standard ''Alto'' card that doesnt have the extra word appeneded yknow#i put plenty of thought into it haha i was browsing through the bulbapedia articles trying to figure out what a good card effect was#only played like. less than ten matches of tcg i'm still figuring stuff out JDJBFJF#the clouds also!! originally i was drawing generic fluffy clouds#but then it hit me. i named alto after specific clouds. why am i doing generic ones instead of the ones named Alto-Something#so these are meant to be altostratus! i can bearly draw generic clouds though idk how well i pulled off smth more specific HJEHFKF#had a lot to say abt this one i just really liked the idea of an alto card so i made sure it was as perfect as i could get it
20 notes · View notes
autisticlee · 2 months
Text
sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
15 notes · View notes
purpurussy · 2 months
Text
.
#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
11 notes · View notes
oh-meow-swirls · 5 months
Text
how does the raft not capsize.
Tumblr media
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#i mean komasan's not there in canon 3 so it's slightly better but not by a lot#i feel like someone should at least be falling off how is the raft also big enough to hold them all-#whisper floats so he doesn't add weight or any space really but like#it still needs to both hold the weight of three teenagers and two yo-kai#AND have the room for them all to fit#the rafting challenge in bada-bing tower is probably worse cuz it has to fit two additional yo-kai#i think komasan not being that important in the mainline games is very lame. he's pretty important in the anime so it's kinda weird#he is at least somewhat important in 3 since he's there for the yopple tour and everything in bada-bing tower#whereas in 1 he has the auto-befriend yo-kai curse (only being important in their debut chapter)#and in 2 he literally only shows up during the jibakoma quest in psychic specters#(excluding being an npc during the beginning of the jibanyan's secret quest alongside a bunch of other yo-kai)#idk what's weirder the fact they made him so important in the anime despite that or the fact they never made him important in the games#i personally go with the nyanderful days continuity that he also moves in with katie cuz that makes sense to me#i've literally never written anything where nate's the one who gets the watch in 1 so idk what i'd do there-#(funny how i've never written anything that's in the same timeline as canon-)#i want to at least write something at somepoint where nate and katie both get watches cuz i like that idea#i mean i have a dumb au idea where nate and katie independently get watches at the start of 1 at around the same time#and take an extended period of time to realize#mostly just haven't actualized that cuz 1) i already have the rewrite and 2) i don't have enough ideas#basically just have the basic concept-#these tags got derailed quick. and also make me really wanna work on the rewrite more-#i have so many ideas but i'm just not motivated to write any of them#and also most of them are for 3 and i haven't finished rewriting 2 yet 😔#‚‚‚ anyways-
14 notes · View notes
lesbianfrottage · 2 months
Text
Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!
#it won't be honestly#I do not think I will ever actually get to have that#I'm not pretty and I'm disabled in ways that both physically and mentally make me unappealing#so no one really wants anything real with me#especially JUST with me#and I'm *scared* of hurting someone with my craziness tbh#and I only trust like. 3 people at all rn and for various reasons none of those people and I are going to date#and in most of those cases I'm very relieved and in the other there's mixed feelings but mostly positive bc again. i don't want to hurt any1#but i still yearn for it#it's still an emotional need#and I hate that it just isn't ever going to be met#it actually hurts so so badly knowing it won't be met#but i also understand that some people just dont get that kind of happiness#some of us just don't get to be loved#some of us are too ugly and crippled and insane for people to *want* us#i just don't really... want to keep going knowing thay#I'll post it here in the tags bc no one i know reads this blog#(a few know about it but it's not like anyone ever checks it)#but I'm definitely ideating and at risk rn#and i feel pathetic that this is what's doing it#but im an emotionally gooey person and a physical touch person and I'd already been thinking relationships probably werent something i can#like. even do#but then there was a blowup with my ex and like. it was made clear that i can not safely engage with anyone#like emotionally or romantically or sexually#because I'll just hurt them.#like there are parts of me i would like to change but are such a core part of me that they will never change#and they will always hurt someone if we're together ling enough#so im just going to idk.#isolate now tbh#im just gonna cry so much and know i will NEVER have what i emotionally need out of life
2 notes · View notes
maddy-ferguson · 2 months
Text
antifeminism is so exhausting to me
#the moderate kind especially like 'if feminists weren't so mean and forcing young men to hate them and the concept of women having rights#then everything would be fine :('#like it's actually crazy. men hating women is the status quo they're just mad we genuinely don't need them and want what they were promised#even though the promise was like...implicit whatever you know what i mean#i do think young men being more sexist/misogynistic/antifeminist than older generations like men over idk 50 (that one poll in the uk from#a few months ago) is an interesting phenomenon but like blaming feminists is crazy. i know comparing causes is unchic but do people who#think they're 'allies' of other causes talk about them in the same way. i know some probably do but it's like??/!??/! idk#like opposing feminism literally serves their material interests as does being racist if you're white and they're aware of that#this is about a thread...on twitter...by someone who already made a thread being like um feminists criticizing (white) men makes them more#misogynistic so maybe...stop?❤️ now he tweeted a video of the republican national convention thing in which young men say feminists hate#white men so they hate feminists and women should die instead of having access to an abortion or something like that i don't know i didn't#watch the video. and he's like well everyone hated me six months but i was right see the young white republican men are saying it#like i really wonder if he says the same thing when they say they're racist because black people dislike racism too much or that they're#homophobic because gay people don't hide their sexuality like they used to anymore#or whatever#anyway. i'm genuinely tired#like misogyny is one thing but antifeminism really gets to me#and like i say: brf slt
2 notes · View notes
wheucto · 2 years
Text
ii au where (nearly) everyone on the show is just some kind of abnormal being
#wheucto#wheucto speaks#inanimate insanity#ii au#i'm feeling brave actually.#i say nearly because like. maybe one normal person per season or something#ok some ideas:#fan as the internet#paper as a created being who was made by someone drawing onto an inanimate piece of paper#paintbrush as themself. they're already abnormal enough. though you could add more information than has fire powers#nickel as someone who can act out a 'role' consistently for as long as he needs to#<- kind of inspired by the fact theres a nickel in bfdi and people sometimes hc them as the same person#also this means he probably has identity issues because he's always acting as someone else and has no true identity#trophy as a cryptid. because he absolutely believes in them and is a cryptid hunter himself#turns out the cryptid was inside him all alonf#oj as not normal. idk what but that man needs to be abnormal. he would hate it so much it would torment him i need it to happen#also it would definitely be character development or whatever. idk#maybe some kind of eldritch creature? idk? really powerful?#also test tube as not normal but bc she doesnt believe in them. different kind of i need (character) to be abnormal#the floor as the island and eldritch being. obviously#silver spoon as normal.#screw you richboy!!! *does absolutely nothing to you*#lightbulb as cyborg cause i saw a hc abt that before and it was good#suitcase with infinite storage or something. if you go inside her you'll enter suitcase space#goo as um. maybe a colonial organism. like of microbes or something.#tea kettle as mother in a kind of cryptid way. she appears behind you if you do something she disapproves of.#mermaid lifering but like the kind where you have to touch water to become a mermaid#or the kind where touching water will make you a mermaid#yinyang as two ancient spirits sharing a body. which is an object for some reason?#maybe cabby as a knowledge spirit
23 notes · View notes
Text
i dont like saying astarion is my least favorite of the companions because it makes me feel like im such a "look at me im so special" guy but he honest to fucking god. is my least favorite. i cannot keep silent on this matter. i think hes a good character, i think neil did a fantastic job with him, but also hes committed the unforgiveable sin of annoying me and for that he gets one thousand years in brain jail
#ramblings#something about him felt so??? pretentious. to me. idk. like he was always looking down upon me#i dont personally resonate with him or his story in the slightest AND several of his conversations made me uncomfortable#and then you can say 'oh well gale is kind of pretentious too and hes your favorite' but like. it feels different?#gale could explain magic to me for hours and id quietly listen even if inalready knew it#i could probably do a whole back & forth of 'that reminds me' 'oh that reminds me' 'well THAT reminds me' with gale#meanwhile astarion speaks and even with literally 3 options for dialogue idk what to say#like theres a lot ab astarion that doesnt resonate with me but ultimately his biggest sin#is just reminding me of being sixteen finally getting a seat at the table with classmates only to constantly feel like a loser#being this already insecure teenager constantly expecting people to be putting me down in ways my autistic brain cant comprehend#i dont like not knowing whether someone is genuine or not. after nearly 400 hours i still cant read astarion#meanwhile gale looks at my sorcerer durge starts explaining some magic and my brain immediately clocks it as autistic infodumping#i did romance astarion btw. i havent completed either of those runs but ive romanced him twice#and both times i didnt feel comfortable with it AT ALL until act 3.#& the impression he left on me is in fact fully subjective. i dont give a shit if i misinterpreted it. because thats just how i felt
6 notes · View notes
byanyan · 1 year
Text
ㅤbyan doesn't care much for their birthday. growing up, they would get lost in the shuffle a lot of the time and end up lucky if they got so much as a slice of cake. they did get a few parties thanks to some of their foster families, but most years there was little more than disappointment to speak of — something that hits hard when you're a kid and birthdays are still exciting. this led to a lot of jealousy toward the kids who were celebrated, a lot of misplaced anger, and because of this there were a couple instances of them lashing out at birthday parties they were invited to. ...needless to say, they weren't invited to many more after this.
at this point they prefer to ignore the day entirely. all it really does is serve as a reminder of how little they mean to the world around them. even those happy memories they have of having the day celebrated have turned sour, becoming a further reminder of how replaceable they are even to people who do care about them.
the last few years, they've "celebrated" on their birthday by going out to be self-destructive and get impossibly high, often not returning home until well after 8 the next morning.
7 notes · View notes
genekies · 9 months
Text
screaming in the club
Tumblr media
time for another vent in tags
#so i was joking and i thought it came through but im also dumb and autistic and my jokes dont always cross. sO#i was joking about one of my roomates not seeing Nightmare Before Christmas before bc i was showing 2 of them my picture vinyl of it and whe#n one of them said they never saw it i said “but you were a loser on tumblr in the 2010s wdym” and their fiance was just rude to me and i th#ought it was clearly a joke but ig not and they lowley attacked me for it? im just?? i tried to clarify that i was joking and they know im a#utistic. hell the one i was joking to is also autistic but idk so now i feel like utter shit especially after all i did today thst juet drai#ned me. ive been trying to fix our 2nd shower. i had a meeting. i had an extremely hard therapy session. and i showered today. its been hell#like i am trying to get thru relapsing on SH and my ED and ofc they dont know but that shit made it worse and i dont want to say anything bc#then ill feel like im guilt tripping? idk but im also super nervous about a HRT appmt i have coming up and i cant afford it and we have no#food in the house i can eat rn and no one has gone shopping. i cant go shopping either bc i cant drive/dont have a car. and its making it#harder to help get back on track with eating when theres nothing for me to eat? so everything is fucking amazing right now.#the only meals i could POSSIBLY have and all claimed by the one roommate i was joking with. it all takes up half our freezer too so thats#fucking awesome. all this food for one person and none that i can eat or the other vegan in the house can eat. i have been hungry for DAYS.#all there has been for me to eat is cup ramen and grilled cheese. AND SOMEONE WHO WASNT FUCKING VEGAN ATE ALL THE VEGAN CHEESE IM GENUINELY#SO PISSED OFF? like dude yall have your own cheese wtf#the thing is its already really hard for me to tell when i am actually hungry bc of years of ignoring it so when i actually feel it and ther#es nothing it really gets to me. im so tired and idek where my EBT card is to get myself something. its all just so much.#i just want to lay in my bed and sleep for days. but i cant. i have too much shit to do. like even just tomorrow i have to clean the#bathroom. mop the kitchen. do dishes. shovel snow. and just generally take.care of shit because since we have 2 roomates MIA right now and#no one else wanted to do shit i had to step up and i am STRUGGLING. i have been for a while. the thing is everyone that didnt sign up for sh#it didnt have much going on besides probable seasonal depression#i relapsed. have debilitating mental health. i can barely get out of bed before 4 pm. and i have to take care of myself and my cat.#im so close to snapping on them at this point#i need the one roommate i actually like to come back or i swear i will lose my shit. hes only been gone for 6 days but HOLY SHIT#everything has gone to shit#vent over ig im going to sleep soon. still hungry if i cant find something.
5 notes · View notes
fabulouslygaybean · 9 months
Text
sexuality is so dumb. relationships are dumb. romance is dumb and sex is dumb and it's all too fucking complicated and weird
3 notes · View notes
popponn · 10 months
Text
rin and his feeling about "rin's similarity to sae" is so interesting but confusing
5 notes · View notes