#something about him felt so??? pretentious. to me. idk. like he was always looking down upon me

[devotedlystrangewizard]

i dont like saying astarion is my least favorite of the companions because it makes me feel like im such a "look at me im so special" guy but he honest to fucking god. is my least favorite. i cannot keep silent on this matter. i think hes a good character, i think neil did a fantastic job with him, but also hes committed the unforgiveable sin of annoying me and for that he gets one thousand years in brain jail

[ruggiethethuggie]

SEBEK X GN!READER

WC: 701 tags: one shot, idk comfort ????, sebek zigvolt, gn!reader, mild cussing, teasing (i mean this in a SFW way !!!!!!!!!), they make fun of sebek for being loud >:?, not proofread go figure

a/n: to be honest, i said i was done writing and was going through my docs and found this... i wrote this out of anger (which is kinda funny) because i kept seeing people be mean about sebek awhile ago, and yes, if i was a violent person i would like to hit all of you who say things like this about that tall, mint green haired, greenish yellow eyed, pretentious ding dong of a man, how dare you- he is baby.

All eyes were on you as you stood there clenching your fist, gritting your teeth, and glaring at the other first years in front of you. You had had enough of it. All the times they made jokes about “oh, I wish I had duct tape” or “oh god, here comes loud mouth” every time Sebek would go to give his input on something, Sebek acted as if it didn’t bother him, but you? It bothered you more than you thought it would. “One more word, and I swear by all things vested in me, I will hit you so hard, you’re going to be begging Sam for a magic potion to heal your wounds- external and internal.” Your voice was stern and slightly aggressive so they took you seriously.

“We were just joking,” Deuce said quietly. He could tell by the look on your face that you meant business, you didn’t find their little jokes funny at all. “Sorry, Sebek,” Jack apologized. Jack never partook in the endless jokes and teasing Sebek endured from the other first years, but he was never the person to ask them to stop either. You gave each of the first years a look that you hoped would be engraved into their souls before turning around and going back to your desk. You angrily opened your notebook and started writing, not really sure what you were even trying to write down, but trying to find something to do to occupy your heated mind.

After a few minutes, you could hear the boys go back to having their frivolous conversation, but you looked up as you saw someone standing beside you from the corner of your eye. Your gaze met that of the tall, green-haired Diasomnia student’s. Your eyes wandered the room confused as you sat up at your desk, looking past Sebek to see if the first years put him up to some stupid prank, but none of them were paying either of you any attention anymore. “Yes, Sebek?” you said as you put your pencil down. “I just wanted to tell you thank you,” he responded. “Hmph, you shouldn’t let them be shitty to you all the time,” you scoffed as you went back to writing. Sebek chuckled and took the seat beside you. “Maybe not, but I appreciate you saying something nonetheless. But why’d you feel the need to stand up for me?”

The look in his eyes was genuine, he truly didn’t understand why you felt so offended by their words and actions when they never directly affected you. “Well.. because it’s rude for one. And I don’t care what you say, I know it bothers you.” The look you gave him told him you could see right through his lies he always tried to deny. He smiled softly as he looked down for a second. “You got me, let’s say it does bother me. It’s not that big of a deal to make you say something though.” You narrowed your eyes at him, not that big of a deal? “If it’s even slightly hurtful, then it’s a big deal. You can’t just ignore it. They’ll just keep doing it over and over again. They make me so mad sometimes.” Your gaze changed from Sebek to the other first years across the room, laughing and enjoying each other’s company it seemed.

“I just hate how they treat you, makes me feel all defensive. Like someone is attacking me at the same time.” Sebek shook his head at your words. “The words aren’t directed at you though,” he chuckled again. “You’re a bundle of heated anger right now, aren’t you? Why don’t we go somewhere after class. We can go walk through the botanical gardens? How does that sound?” You rolled your eyes at his words, but going to the garden might make you feel better, or at least you hoped it would. “Fine, Sebek. We can go after class.” You looked over at him, seeing him smiling back at you, and you playfully stuck your tongue out at him. “Stop staring at me, weirdo.” He laughed at your words and pulled out his own notebook to finish writing notes of his own. 

© Green Border | please do not copy and or repost my work as your own, my brain is massive and these are my thoughts.

[fallingforel]

heyyyy!!! how are you? :) could you do prompt 53 with Alex turner please ?🫶🏼

A/N hey my lovely I'm good thank you for asking of course I can and here it is on with the showww Idk what it is about Paris and my alex prompts but it's another one where they're in paris. sorry it's short I was struggling a bit.

PROMPT 53: “I’ll keep you safe.”

words: 1,192

It was a hectic day for me I didn't stop, this morning Alex was gone for soundcheck waking up to an empty bunk on the tour bus so I decided to go and sight see keeping my mind off of him because I'm an ultimate worrier that something happened to the ones I love the most.

After sight seeing I went and got some lunch racking up some hunger as I hadn't had breakfast either we were in paris at the minute so I went to a sweet little cafe with a view of the eiffel tower and ate outside as the weather was nice too.

Then after lunch I made my way to meet Amelie a friend who I hadn't seen in years, she had moved out here after uni after a lack of PR jobs available and we had both got so wrapped up in our lives that we didn't have time to see eachother but she was free too so it felt right to see her.

"Y/n how are you sweet?" Amelie exclaimed as soon as she saw me come into view running straight up to hug me. "I'm good! I'm good!" I say reciprocating the hug. "What are you doing in paris mon cheri? surely you've not moved here." She asks breaking the hug now just holding a grasp on my shoulders. "No! No! I haven't moved out here, just visiting." I say concealing the truth. "Well! we must go shopping then go out tonight. There's a concert I'm going to tonight, they're big! You'd love it. You're not here on your own are you? Being a girl out here on her own can't be easy." she asks. "No, I'm not out here on my own. I'm actually with my boyfriend and his friends." "Invite them! We could do with the extra hands to hold our bags" "errr... It's not that easy Am, they would probably be down to go out tonight though, just not to the concert, maybe after?" I say once again concealing the truth that my boyfriend is in a big band, and they're performing in a stadium tonight, the concert she's going to. And the fact that they'd be bombarded by fans, if they were to just wander the streets with us.

"Why isn't it that easy" "errr well you see, my boyfriends in a band, they're touring at the minute, that's why I'm in paris." "Oh. You mean YOU'RE the girlfriend all the arctic monkeys fans are talking about" "shush shush. no need to shout. But yes, yes I am." "Oh my god! Why didn't you tell me Y/n, this is huge news. First you have a boyfriend, next you're like in with a famous circle. You'll have to introduce me to him because he clearly means a lot to you, I remember when we were in Uni and you said you'd never date a famous person. He clearly must be special"

"Alex and I don't like to say he's famous makes him too pretentious, he heard us talking one time on the phone and thought you sounded pretentious" "It's what the paris lifestyle does to you, It makes you pretentious, everyone here is. too glam for my liking" "that's what I said"

"yeah, well you'd be right, I'm missing the U.k" "You'll have to come to sheffield with us, It'll humble you so much. Might be the break you're looking for, we'll be back that way in a few months." "I wish I could but emille needs me here, to look after the house, he's away too much and we're not rich enough to afford housekeepers." "Fuck Emille you know he's not good for you" "Yeah, I know. I'm leaving him when he comes back next month I caught him cheating, I'm just waiting for an apartment to come available" "Oh! come back to the UK live with me in London, My apartment is rarely ever used since I'm always with Alex, Rent will be super cheap aswell. PR jobs are super available now, I know the whole reason you moved out here was the amount of PR jobs that weren't available, but I've been looking for myself ones that I can work from home on due to being on tour with Alex and Theres tonnes available," "really?" "really Am!" "oh you are such a doll. I love you" "I know. but seriously, I'm gonna be back home in a few months I'll stay with you for a few months make sure you're settled and you know the area and then I'm off again" "I appreciate you so much thank you"

"No worries, come see Alex with me?" "Absolutely, wouldn't dream of not coming. Let's go shopping for some outfits for tonight" "let's hop to it" ⋆｡°✩

We shopped for a few hours before returning back to her flat and we got changed before heading out to the stadium in a Taxi. "où les filles?" (where to girls) the taxi driver asked "stade de france s'il vous plait" (stadium of france please) I replied making amelie laugh "what?" "nothing, You've changed I wasn't even aware you could speak french and you sound so different in french a lot less than your scouse accent." "well, Alex has been teaching me french, we've decided we're residing here when he's finished with tour, and People change Amelie" "yeah well it suits you." "thank you" I said looking at her with a smile on my face.

It doesn't take that long until we're there and I'm running around the back to go see Alex. "Y/N, BABE!!!" Alex shouts waving to me "Alex, I missed you, this is Amelie. My bestfriend from Uni, she lives here" "Thats nice, ravi de vous rencontrer, je suis le petit ami d'Alex Y/ns, à quoi ça ressemble de vivre ici ?" (nice to meet you I'm alex Y/ns boyfriend, whats it like living here?) "Oh no, I can speak english, I'm not fully french. Nice to meet you too though, I've heard a lot of great things about you from Y/n, and it's okay makes you a bit too pretentious though" Amelie says shaking Alex's hand when he offers it. "Yeah, told her a lot about you. She's just been cheated on so she's moving into my apartment when we get back to england. I'll stay there with her for a few months or weeks depends on how long she takes to get settled, then we're moving in together." Alex just nods along to what I say, I think he's just too buzzed about going on stage to care right now.

"come on Amelie I'll take you to get a drink and then to the bus to get some merch" I say "I'll come with you two too." Alex says grabbing my hand with me stepping to my left, while Amelie is on my right.

We get to the bar and all of a sudden there is crowds around us, making my claustrophobia highten. And Alex just squeezes my hand tighter pulls me into his chest and whispers in my ear "Dont worry darling, I'll keep you safe, I've got you"

[palomahasenteredthechat]

Same anon that sent the long post and I have another one I'm sorry. Thank you for answering. I'm glad I explained myself okay, I was worried I was just going to sound entitled and rude. I just wanted to say that I was going to mention the Off Menu podcast but I decided to keep it Eddie related since that was my ultimate point and to mention it would require more explaining. Hence this long message. Basically yes I am one of those people that felt that way and I kept that to myself because everyone loved it. I don't want to ignite anything here about it because over time I have seen people mention this since it happened, but it was the picky eater comment for me. I know the internet tends to have this mindset lately that everything everyone says, is said with the worst possible intension. Like you say you like cats you must HATE dogs and you're being cancelled now for it. So I tried not to read into it, I really did. But he brought it up again in another interview after and then another just recently and to me that was him doubling down on his stance so I think it's fair for me to say he has thought about what he said and still agrees with it. Let's be real for a sec, I'm a picky eater. So of course this looks like I'm just butthurt and taking it personally. But I'm autistic. I can't help it. I have a brother that has it worse than me, he SUFFERS with ARFID. Yes, I know that Joseph probably wasn't including people like me or him in his statement. He doesn't need to preference everything he says with "obviously I'm not talking about people with disabilities, eating disorders etc" because he didn't indicate any disdain for those kinds of people specifically and no one should immediately be taking what he said in a negative light like that and assuming he's an asshole. However, again my own personal views, thoughts and feelings. People like myself subconsciously think before I speak "If I say this, could it offend or hurt anyone? Will it perpetuate and or make worse an already existing issue?" Of course everyone has moments where they don't realize what they're saying could be harmful. But, idk. Let me just paste the exact quote from the transcript here and see what we think about it: Joe Quinn Eat it, it's delicious, do you know what I mean? Or, 'Oh, I don't like fish.' But, it's clearly something psychological that they just need to-, get over it, eat it, it's good. Joseph. Some people DO have psychological issues with food. For myself it's certain textures. But to think that I had not just considered or tried to "get over it" is at the very least tone-deaf and at the worst, straight up ableist. 🤷‍♀️ I tried to rationalize it in my mind as him just venting, talking out his ass, whatever. But ultimately it made me realize that he is very privileged to be healthy and what he probably considers "normal" and I don't see him actually understanding that fact. Especially when he doubles down on it years later. He gives me "telling someone suffering with depression to get over it and smile more" vibes. It came off as pretentious, uninformed and to be honest just plain rude. I will also add that taking disabilities out of the equation he still failed to consider social classes, wealth and food availability. Would he tell an adult that grew up without access to fresh vegetables to just get over it and eat them because it annoys him that they won't? I don't claim to know. But my gut says yes.

I think it started off as his sense of humor, and maybe it was an in-joke with his friends, but as was discussed earlier, he seems to be 'leaning in' to the persona more.

The cilantro thing - 'I don't believe those people'; well then you don't have the gene that makes it taste like dish soap.

I have experience with food allergies, and I always take food preferences seriously, because unfortunately for some folks it's life and death.

[wanderingblindly]

PLEASE give me the directors cut of Til The End Of The Line bc that fix haunts me in an ethereal manner and I have simply not moved on 🫶🏻

oh my god where do I even start with 'Till the End of the Line, it was such an odd one to write. I started in back in August and literally forgot it existed until November when I was just flipping through my files.

I stopped writing it because it just felt like pretentious, surface level, uninteresting emo drivel. But when I picked it back up, I felt myself really connecting to the emotions I channeled at the time.

Plus, I had been writing a lot of comedy at the time (see: Landoscar) and wanted to flex a different creative muscle. So really, the entire thing was incredibly self serving. But anyways, let's get into some content!

The Origins

I actually received a comment on Ao3 a very long time ago with someone talking about crying on a train while reading a fic, and that idea always sort of stuck with me.

The next thing was, as it always goes, a random line popping into my head one day while going about my Tasks:

But so much life can grow in a place where no one stays

This sort of ended up being the thesis for the entire narrative: the beauty in a passing moment between two people that, maybe, won't ever see each other again despite the mark they've left on each other's lives.

The Writing Process

So I bounced around a lot with how I wanted this to read. Initially I wrote it as a traditional narrative (I have about half of the fic written in an entirely different style), but then I realized that didn't fit the vibe. I wanted it to have more of a liminal, 'what parts of this are real' energy to it, which is why I decided to not use traditional quotation marks.

The italics, something people often use for thoughts, made it feel more like the entire thing could have been made up in Charles's head. I hope that came across haha.

Here's two snippets of parts from the other style that got cut:

And so Charles gets like this sometimes, cause and timing unknown. It hits him suddenly, the overwhelming and inescapable need to just cry. One small inkling, a fragment of an idea, buries itself into every corner of his mind; spreading like a wildfire until every other thought, any distraction, just reminds him of the ache. Deep in his bones. An unsettling mix of nostalgia, loneliness, and something unnamed. Something heavy. It hangs around his neck like a lead weight.

And:

Charles looks up at the stranger, eyes following him down as he sits beside him.  “Rough day?” He tries again, voice just as soft and accent just as distinct.  “I don’t know.” Charles says numbly as he takes the tissue, blotting his eyes uselessly as the tears continue to flow down with reckless abandon. He hums contemplatively in response, adjusting the hood of his sweatshirt around his neck and leaning back against the vibrating walls of the train.

Idk if the difference is entirely apparent, but I wanted Charles's narrative to feel very... sensory. What he's seeing, what he's feeling, not so much the traditional way of writing where you're guiding the reader through a true plot.

The Setting

At first, I put serious time into deciding what country they were in, what train they were on, what neighborhood it started and ended in, etc.. However, the more I poked around and considered different ideas (Berlin, New York, London), the more I realized that the story would be hindered by having it in a specific place.

The overall impact of this fic wasn't meant to the plot. It wasn't meant to be a character arc that compelled you, it wasn't meant to even really be about something as fickle as attraction. At it's core, I wanted this to be a story about the very human feeling of wanting to be somewhere else, about missing something that you can't get back and struggling with to accept that time will continue to move on even if you don't want it to.

Tying that to a place almost removed the universality of it, I think. That's why I never alluded to a specific starting station, ending station, route duration, or season. I wanted it to sort of... transcend those things, I guess.

Trains as a Metaphor

I've always really been fond of trains and modes of transport as a metaphor for things like death, purgatory, change, sleep, etc..

In this, I really wanted the train to represented that sort of liminal, purgatory-esque space. I wanted Charles to feel like he was stuck in between something, that he wasn't entirely here or there. In my head, Sebastian was almost a guiding light out of it, directing him away from the place so removed from real life and into somewhere in the present.

I don't want to beat a dead horse, the heavy handed religious imagery did that for me, but I just love the idea of the train being something transformative. Somewhere you go that isn't quite real life, where you can emerge with something you wouldn't have found elsewhere.

What Didn't Fit In

Ok originally, when I still didn't know what I actually wanted this story to BE beside Charles being distraught on a train, I made up entire backstories for him and Sebastian.

Sebastian was meant to be a youngish teacher coming home from a late night at Lewis's house -- they throw grading parties together during finals season, just to make it suck a little bit less :)

Charles owns the bookstore where he saw the little boy. He moved to the city he's in fairly recently, and hasn't really made his own community yet -- he drank alone at the bar that night because he didn't have anyone to call.

Music

FINALLY, in common me fashion, I listened to music on repeat while writing this. Brand New is a band that captures the sort of... empty, aimless feeling that Charles is going through in this story, and I think that the soundtrack really adds a lot!

[ghostbeam]

600w, sfw, just some pretentious words about fate with Megumi basically idk

Megumi didn’t believe in fate, none of that soulmate bullshit. There was no such thing as destiny. Life was not premeditated. The mere thought of his life being planned out for him sent shutters down his spine. Megumi had a choice in this world. He always had a choice.

At least, that’s what he had thought.

Until he met you.

Then it all made sense, all of the talk about fate, all of the love at first sight nonsense. Suddenly, Megumi understood.

He thinks he might know you from somewhere, like he had seen you around. Maybe he’d seen you on a mission or you were some girl one of his friends brought around, but that wasn’t it. You were just a person, not a sorcerer. You didn’t belong in his world no matter how hard he tried to tell himself that you did.

There had to be some explanation for his shortness of breath, for the heat on his neck and ears, for the way his stomach turns over when you give him a pretty smile.

Megumi thought he would explode the first time you ever held his hand.

Your touch is unlike anything he’s ever felt before, even after all the time you spent together. After all the nights of him trying to think about you logically, after every instance where he tried to push you away, you still got under his skin.

He was starting to think that maybe he didn’t have a choice.

Megumi was always going to love you. He need understood how he could miss someone he had never even met, but he realized that the emptiness inside him, that yearning that never really left him alone, had disappeared the moment you confessed your feelings for him.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” You we’re on the floor, he remembered, looking for something. He can’t remember now, maybe your keys or an object that had rolled under the couch. Megumi doesn’t know what you were looking for, but he does know that he loved you.

“No.” You told him absentmindedly. Your focus wasn’t on the conversation. It was on your stupid lost item.

“No?” He asked, his voice cracking. He shut his eyes in embarrassment then, his voice betraying his feelings about the situation. You stopped what you were doing then, sitting up on your knees. You looked at him standing there behind the couch, his face unreadable as always.

“Not like—you know what I mean.” You said, unsure how to explain yourself.

“I love you.” His voice was so quiet, like he was scared of your reaction.

“What?” You asked him, standing up from the ground, the lost object completely forgotten.

“I love you.” His voice was more sure, Megumi remembers, “feels like I always have. That’s why I asked.”

“Well I—I love you too, Megumi.” You said. He remembers how you climbed over the couch to stand with him, how you took his hands in your own and kissed his knuckles.

“You don’t think,” He paused, “you don’t think it’s fate. Don’t you feel that?”

He was scared now, scared that he had turned into one of those big saps, someone who believed that their life was planned out from the get-go. But mostly, Megumi was scared that you didn’t feel that thing deep inside of him, that immense force that wouldn’t let him let you go.

“Feels like love.” You told him.

“It’s more.”

“It’s not. There’s nothing more.” You said, “It’s not some cosmic event. It’s not the stars. It’s not god. It’s just you. It’s just love.”

“Just me?” He asked. Megumi remembers how you put you hand over his heart, it’s rhythm like a drum. He remembers looking at you, that hope in your eyes, that longing for understanding. He remembers loving you. “And you too.”

[itsdanii]

Kyahhh your rejecting you and regretting series is just so freaking good . Uhmmm idk if you are taking requests right now but can I please request for Ushijima and Kita?Thank you so much!

Rejecting you and regretting it pt. 4

one | two | three | four

Hey, bub. I'm so glad to hear that you've been enjoying my works. Here's your request for the part 4 and final (as of now) part of the rejecting and regretting you series. Have a good day and stay hydrated! ♥️

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: semi-rude behavior (resolved), no cursing in this one because these men drink their respect women juice daily

ft. ushijima wakatoshi, kita shinsuke

title says it all

Kita Shinsuke

Kita is your childhood friend

The moment the two of you were introduced to each other by your grandmothers, you instantly clicked

Same as through with him, you loved spending your time being productive and following a certain routine so it's no question that as you both grew up, you started gaining romantic feelings towards him

You've been thinking of confessing but never really had the chance because he was always busy with volleyball practice

So when you finally managed to get some alone time, you didn't hesitate to voice out your feelings, not knowing that the answer you're hoping for isn't the answer you're going to get

"You're staring again."

You snapped out of your thoughts when Kita stopped infront of you, his eyebrows furrowing as he studied your face.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh, uh, yes! I'm sorry. I was just thinking," you answered sheepishly while scratching the back of your head.

You mentally cursed yourself for spacing out on him. This is the only chance you're getting and you can't afford to waste it.

"About what?" Shinsuke asked as you both continued your walk on the way home since you only live apart each other. Plus, his grandma had always told him to never let you walk home alone especially at night.

"Huh?"

"You said you were thinking. About what?" Shinsuke gently tugged at the sleeve of your jacket, changing your positions so that he was closer to the road than you are.

You felt yourself blushing at the small gesture and looked at his hand that was still holding your jacket.

You swallowed the lump forming inside your throat and stopped walking, the act stopping Kita as well due to him holding you.

Kita looked at you worriedly and placed both hands on your shoulders, his head dipping slightly to get a closer look at your face. "Are you oka-"

"You," you answered without focusing your gaze to him. "I've been thinking about you."

When you felt him taking his hands off your shoulders, you immediately looked up. "Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?"

The look he had is something you can't decipher but if you were to analyze it based on what you can see, it's a look you never wanted to see again.

Silence reigned the two of you, eyes staring at each other as if you're both trying to figure out what the other was thinking.

"No," Kita said, breaking the silence. "But it's best if we don't discuss the issue any further."

At that, he faced forward and continued walking as if nothing happened but as you stared at his back, you realized that somehow, he knew what you were trying to imply.

And the sad part is that he chose to ignore it and act unbothered as if he didn't just indirectly broke your heart.

Once you reached your destination, you faced him with an anxious smile and Kita didn't fail to notice this, as well as your habit of shifting from foot to foot whenever you wanted to say something.

"I like you, Shin," you blurted out nervously, your heart beating erratically and your palms becoming sweaty. "I don't know when it started but suddenly, I just woke up and realized that what I'm feeling towards you is no longer within the range of friendship. It's something more and I just wanted to let you know."

"I am well aware of that but I'm sorry, y/n. I can't return your feelings."

You bit your lower lip to hold in your tears and as much as you wanted to shout at him to accept your confession, you can't just force someone to love you back because it doesn’t work that way.

"Geez, can't you even say it gently?" you said with a forced chuckle. "Don't worry, I won't hold any grudges."

You let out a sigh before looking up at him and Kita was surprised to see that there are no traces of anger. He expected you to lash out but it seemed like he was wrong.

"I'll see you tomorrow then. Don't overwork yourself, okay?" With that, you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a kiss on his cheek before turning around to cross the road.

Kita could only stare at you as he watched you enter your household, your figure vanishing from his sight as the door finally closed.

Kita is a practical man.

He knows how to separate what is right from what is wrong.

Because of this, people often see him as someone who's perfect, sometimes even being compared to a robot due to his nature. But Kita is far from perfect, and he knew that.

Because as he laid in his bed that night, he realized that he just made a big, wrong decision, and he had nobody but himself to blame.

-

Kita didn't know if he should be happy or not. Actually, he should be happy. After all, he just rejected you and still, here you are, walking beside him as you made your way to school.

He kept glancing at you, observing wether you were pretending or not but he knew that it isn't in your nature to be a pretentious person. You've always worn your emotions on your sleeve which made it too easy for people to read you.

"Ah, Shin. You don't have to walk me home later," you said with a sheepish smile. "My friend is actually going to walk me home so.."

"Alright. Be sure to send me a message when you're on the way home." Despite how 'normal' it sounded, Kita was actually feeling something unpleasant inside him. It was a feeling he was well aware of but had never experienced himself.

The day progressed fast. One moment, he was entering his first class and the next, he's already checking wether all the sports equipment were put back in their proper places.

As he walked out of the gym, Kita instinctively brought out his phone to check for any messages, yours to be specific.

"Ya alright, Kita-san?" came Atsumu.

Kita simply nodded and glanced at his phone again before keeping it, disappointment filling him as he realized that you're not planning to message him at all.

Without you to walk home with, Kita decided to join his team mates, yet despite the noise his team naturally carried, Kita's mind was still preoccupied.

He thought of how you must be doing or if you arrived home safely. He thought of how different the things would've turned out if he hadn't rejected you.

He thought of you.

"Isn't that y/n-san?"

Kita's attention immediately went back to Earth, his eyes following the direction Atsumu was pointing at and just like he said, you were indeed at the other side of the road, walking alone while hugging yourself as you shivered ever so slightly.

Without any words, Kita headed towards your direction and his team mates knew better than to interfere. After all, they knew their captain well. It wasn't that hard to notice how off he was today.

"I thought I told you to message me."

You gasped as Kita suddenly appeared beside you, draping his jacket over your shoulder which immediately surrounded you with his familiar scent.

"Sorry, I forgot," you said while tugging at the end of his jacket sleeves.

"Mhm, and you also said that your friend is going to walk you home yet I don't see anyone beside you." Kita said with a serious tone.

"About that..." You scratched the back of your head as you tried to think of any excuses but you knew that lying would be pointless.

"What if someone kidnapped you? Or worse, took advantage of you? You know I don't like you walking alone especially when the sun had already set yet you still did it. Why did you lie?"

You felt like a child being scolded by your mother but instead of taking it the wrong way, you knew that Kita was only looking out for you. It was just ironic that he broke your heart yet still showed his deep concern for your being.

"It's because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," you finally admitted. "I just confessed to you yesterday and I thought thay maybe I might make you uncomfortable if I kept sticking beside you. I didn't want to be an inconvenience."

"What are you talking about?" Kita stopped walking and turned towards you. "You were never an inconvenience and will never be one."

"Sorry, Shin."

"No. I should be the one to apologize. I made a very rash decision yesterday and ended up rejecting you. I thought that having romantic feelings towards someone would just be a waste of time but I came to realize that it isn't a waste of time if its with you," Kita said with a gentle look on his face.

You didn't speak for a few seconds and just let his words sink in, a feeling of hope igniting inside you when you realized what he was trying to say. "Do you mean that?" you asked hopefully.

"Have I ever lied to you?" Seeing you shake your head no, Kita leaned in to press his forehead against yours. "I like you, y/n."

You felt your heart beat picking up with those simple words and without waiting for anything else, you pressed your lips against his.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Being the cousin of Tendou Satori had its perks

And one of those perks is the opportunity to see Ushijima everyday

You are only a year younger than them yet despite that, you get along with the team very well

After all, it had been a part of your daily routine to always visit the school's gym

What you didn't expect, however, was to fall for a certain captain

And you, being one of the most open and honest person, confessed the moment you realized your feelings towards him

And despite being turned down several times already, you still persisted, claiming that you'll do everything to make him fall for you

But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it just isn't enough

"Where's 'Toshi?" you asked Satori when you entered the gym, flashing a small smile to the others before sitting down on an empty bench.

"Talking to the coach." Satori looked at the plastic you were holding and grinned as he noticed what was inside. "Really, y/n-chan? You know that won't work on Ushiwaka, right?"

You just shrugged and placed the item beside you. "It's worth a try, 'Tori. Who knows? Maybe I'll finally be able to get a reaction out of him."

"Y/n."

You looked behind you upon hearing Wakatoshi. "Hi, Toshi. Did you miss me?" you said and flashed him a bubbly smile.

"You always come here everyday. I do not see any reason for me to miss you," he simply answered before taking a seat beside you, eyes glancing at the carrot stuffed toy before focusing on the court.

Satori, who witnessed the whole exchange, just laughed at you, his eyes squinting as he clutched his stomach in tears. "Well, there's your reaction," he said while still catching his breath.

"You don't have to be so mean, Toshi." You pouted and handed him the stuffed toy you brought.

"What's this for?" he asked in slight confusion while examining the carrot you gave him.

"That's a gift. Haven't you noticed? Its been 8 months since I started courting you." You grinned at him.

"Oh? Y/n's courting captain?" came Tsutomu who was wiping his sweat with a clean towel, eyes glancing at the carrot before he exclaimed, "I want one too!"

"Have it." Your eyes widened when Ushijima handed the carrot stuffed toy to Tsutomu. "I don't need it, and please stop giving me stuff from now on. They are irrelevant."

"I worked hard for that! You don't know how much token I spent just to get that from the claw machine!" You frowned at Wakatoshi and took the toy from Tsutomu who's now obviously confused with what's happening.

"Then I'll pay the amount you spent. Just stop giving me random stuff from now on. I don't need them and I don't have any feelings for you," Ushijima said with a passive voice.

You bowed your head and Satori immediately panicked, his arm reaching out to you but you only recoiled. "You're the worst, Toshi!" you yelled at Ushijima before dropping the toy on the floor and running out of the gym.

All three of them were in shock at your outburst, completely not expecting you to say such thing. You've always been bubbly around them so hearing those words from you was something they never expected coming.

"I think you made y/n mad, Captain," Tsutomu said while picking the carrot and dusting it off.

"But all I did was say the truth," Ushijima reasoned out, eyes focused on Tsutomu who was now hugging the toy that was supposed to be his.

Satori just sighed and turned around to go back practicing.

"Captain?" Tsutomu muttered with a confused look as Ushijima suddenly took the carrot from him.

"It's mine."

-

For the sixth time of the day, Ushijima glanced at the closed door of the gym.

It had been almost a week and he haven't caught a single glimpse of you. No visits, no 'coincidentally' bumping on each other despite having different floor levels, nor surprised bentos. Nothing. It basically felt as if you don't exist anymore.

He doesn't even know why he seemed bothered with it. Wasn't it him who pushed you away? He should feel relieved now that you were no longer bothering him, right?

Then why did it felt like he was missing you?

"Y/n's not coming," Tendou said beside Ushijima.

"I know. They haven't been visiting lately." Ushijima stared at Tendou seriously, making the red hair chuckle before raising his hands up in surrender.

"I don't have any idea where y/n-chan is. Even if I do, my lips are sealed," Tendou said before making a zipper motion.

Ushijima sighed and looked down at the ball resting between his feet. "I don't like it when they're avoiding me."

"Hm, I can't blame my cousin for doing that though. They've been pining over you for quite a while now and each time they confess, you end up rejecting them. I guess yesterday was their breaking point," Satori explained with a shrug, "Maybe you got used to the feeling of them coming back everytime you reject them that you don't know how to feel now that they stopped chasing you."

"I..like y/n."

Just as he said those words, the gym doors suddenly opened. You entered with your usual bubbly expression, a wrapped bento in hand as you made your way to them.

"I noticed that you weren't carrying your bento awhile ago so I brought it with me," you said as you handed the bento to Satori, not even bothering to spare a glance at Ushijima who was intensely looking at you.

"Y/n," Ushijima said making you turn to him.

"Yes Ushijima-san?"

Ushijima blinked at the mention of his surname. He knew that it was normal for people to call him Ushijima since it was his name but hearing you say it seemed bothering for some reason. He was used to you calling him either Toshi or Waka-kun.

"I like you, y/n," he said without hesitation.

Satori facepalmed at Ushijima's straightforwardness. Deciding to give you both some space, he stood up and walked away with his bento, leaving the two of you to talk.

You sat down and crossed your arms over chest, body facing Wakatoshi as you waited for him to explain and apologize properly.

"I'm sorry for how I acted a few days ago, I was merely being honest that time, but now I realized that I like you too... and I also did not mean to disregard your efforts just to get Mr. Carrot," Ushijima said while slightly scooting closer to you, his hand obviously trying to reach for yours.

"You named the stuff toy Mr. Carrot?" you asked with a raise of an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't need it.."

"That was a mistake. Mr. Carrot is actually sleeping in my bed as of this moment." The side of Ushijima's lips curled up when you giggled, the sound making his heart race.

"I appreciate you trying to be nice to me, Toshi, but you really hurt me back then, you know? I even had to stay away for a couple of days," you said before looking down at your lap to play with your fingers.

Panic started bubbling up inside Ushijima at your sudden silence. Swallowing the lump inside his throat, he asked you carefully, "Do you still like me? I'm really sorry, y/n. I missed your presence inside the gym. It's not the same without you. It's been too... quiet. Please give me another chance."

You lifted your head upon hearing that, clearly not expecting Ushijima to say those words in almost a pleading manner.

Ushijima took your surprised reaction as a cue to continue. He carefully took your hand in his, his hand completely engulfing yours as he intertwined your fingers. "I won't be aggressive towards you anymore. I know you said you hate me and I'm not the best at this kind of things but for you, I'll try."

You pulled your hand away from him, only to quickly wrap your arms around him, the action obviously catching Ushijima off guard. "I never hated you, 'Toshi," you mumbled with your face buried to his chest.

"Does that mean you still like me?" He said as soon as he composed himself, an unusual soft expression forming on his face when he felt you nodding.

You felt yourself melting even more to his touch when he secured an arm around your waist. "I like you so much, 'Toshi," you said as you looked up him.

"I like you too, y/n." With that, Ushijima leaned down to press a lingering kiss on your forehead.

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♥️

a/n: lately, my mind has been filled with wakatoshi ushijima

[ghostietea]

Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

[hargrove-mayfields]

Harringrove tag game! by @lovebillyhargrove

I was tagged by @mrsblackruby! tysm!! <3

1. Do they get together BEFORE MF possessing Billy or AFTER shit goes down? (Or maybe DURING😲)

Typically I say before, like at around Christmas time in ‘84. I think anybody in a small town puts aside character prejudices around the holidays and tries to make those connections with everyone, so I’ve always felt, especially since the fight was literally only a month before, that Steve would reach out to Billy the night of the Snowball and things would, well, snowball from there.

2. Who kisses who first?

Definitely Steve. I firmly stand by the hc that Billy’s never kissed a boy before Steve, and maybe Steve hasn’t either, but he’s the romantic, no way is he going to let Billy kiss him first.

3. Where do they have their first sex? (Location) (HJs and BJs count)

I don’t really have a solid answer for this? But definitely somewhere very spur of the moment, maybe somebody’s couch or the locker rooms?

4. Who says 💖 I LOVE YOU 💖 first?

Imma say Billy. Opposite of my last answer, I don’t feel like either of them would say they love each other on accident or like, in the moment. I think their first I love you’d would be very very controlled. I also think Billy has less experience with actually being in love, so when the time comes that he’s actually mustered up the courage to say it to Steve, I think he’s super nervous and practices the perfect scenario in his head a dozen times. It’s definitely not blurted out.

5. I believe this fandom is way past having hard feelings about it, so

BottomSteve! or BottomBilly?

I don’t have a strong opinion either way, but typically, I prefer bottom!Steve. No particular reason, that’s just the way I tend to read things!

6. Do they give gifts to each other?

Absolutely! Billy doesn’t have the disposable income to run out and buy Steve new things every time he wants to give him something, so I think he does a really cheesy like, giving him a kiss as a present and making a big deal out of it.

Steve is sort of the same way, in that he doesn’t like to give Billy material things, because he doesn’t want him to think he’s being pretentious or trying to hold his wealth over Billy’s head like he’s his mom or something, so he only gives Billy personal things. Old pilled t-shirts to wear to bed and a blanket to keep on the couch in his room that smells like him. Things like that.

They also try to make eachother things as presents, like food or little knick knacks in art class, but they always fail miserably and think it’s really funny when all they have to show is a smoking mess.

7. Where do they end up living? California, Chicago, Hawkins... Idk .. Alaska??)))) Any other location?

I honestly think they stay in Hawkins. I don’t think after everything Billy would be able to leave Max behind, and I also think that Steve would like having a connection to where he grew up, even if bad things happened there. If they did leave though, I see them going down south, maybe tourist trap Tennessee?

8. What are their future jobs?

In my mind that very much depends on if we’re following canon and this is post Starcourt or like, if it’s a whole new AU. Because after that I don’t think Billy would actually ever be physically well enough to work again. I know it’s a pretty unpopular opinion, bc the general hc is that he bounces back within a year or so with some scars (which is cool! I’m not knocking that I’m just sayin) but I think he'd be permanently disabled, on oxygen support 24/7, and just with all sorts of health complications from, you know, literally having a gaping hole in his chest, that would make it impossible for him to work. In that sort of scenario I usually think of Steve as a being teacher or an artist, something that he doesn’t have very long work hours or can do from home so he can be there to take care of Billy.

If we’re going with like, a no upside down or a Billy is never hurt au, I think he stays in Hawkins and just works in some sort of a mom and pop until he’s the new manager, like at an antique store maybe?

(p.s. stay tuned for an upcoming fic about Billy working in a fix-it shop!!)

As for Steve, I feel like he wouldn’t ever be able to settle on one career when he didn’t have limitations. I don’t really know what he’d eventually decide is his calling, maybe design of some sort? Jewelry making?

This is a hard question, I don’t really see them as being tied down to one career indefinitely, but I do know I don’t see either of them ever working desk jobs.

9. Who's a better cook?

Neither of them. Billy wasn’t allowed in the kitchen growing up because Neil said it’s a woman's place, and Steve is just god awful at following directions, like, can’t tell the difference between a teaspoon and a tablespoon or preheat the oven awful. They just eat takeout and like, cold sandwiches literally all the time until someone (Joyce) notices and teaches them how to cook on the weekends.

10. Steve Hargrove or Billy Harrington?

Billy Harrington. I don’t see him wanting to be a Hargrove anymore. He has no positive ties to the name with his mom leaving and his dad being his dad, so I think he’d want to take Steve’s last name. Also this is kinda weird but I am VERY particular about my middle name hcs (I think it’s an ocd thing? idk) and I have an alliterative name for Steve that wouldn’t work if he was a Hargrove instead of a Harrington, so that’s also part of the reason.

11. What's Max's reaction when she hears they're together?

I think probably just like, confusion. Not over Billy being with a boy, but over that boy being Steve. Like, she doesn’t know Steve well, but she knows he’s the responsible big brother to Dustin, and that’s the exact opposite of what her brother is like, so it catches her off guard. She’s definitely a little gossip though, wanting all the not-gross details about Steve from her brother. She’s basically just a little sister about it, I guess.

12. Describe in ONE SENTENCE Hopper's reaction when he hears the names Hargrove and Harrington mentioned together?

Not again.

13. Does Robin like Billy OR does Robin hate Billy?

I think she likes him. I have a little hc that she and him were together in an underground pre-gsa kinda thing in high school. She pretends she can’t stand him, but the two of them are quick best friends. (this might just be me but I think the two of them together would give statler and waldorf vibes)

14. What about Dustin?

Dustin I think actually thinks Billy is really cool. Like, he’s like a little double agent, hearing from Max all the annoying things about Billy, and from Steve the good things. He’ll gag if Steve gets too mushy over him and he’ll definitely join in with Max in calling Billy gross, and he also absolutely gives Billy a (very non-intimidating. he’s too soft) shovel talk, but I think he really likes and looks up to Billy as like, his other big brother.

15. Fav Harringrove AU?

Oh gosh, I can’t even pick. I think I like childhood friends aus best? They’re really fun to play with and it always ends up being super sweet. I’m a big fan of soulmates too for kind of the same reasons. I like mushy stuff.

16. Billy+Camaro=...??? (Not strictly Harringrove, but I can't not to ..)

I honestly don’t think Billy cares about the camaro that much. He’d be sad when it gets totaled because that was his only way of getting around and also his first car, but I don’t think the car itself has that much value to him. I mean, he treats it with absolutely zero respect, jumping curbs and driving too fast and slamming on those breaks. The camaro is just a car. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ll tag: @lifegaurd-hargrove85! @deardmvz! and @strangebrainrot! no pressure! and as usual, if anybody else sees this and wants to participate, feel free!

[deja-you]

times new roman | episode nine

t. jefferson x reader

summary: Y/n needs a date. Thomas would be more than happy to oblige.

word count: 2.4k

A/N: this chapter contains smut! if you’re not comfortable with that feel free to skip this chapter, it not technically necessary to the next part. 

also this is my first smut,, so read at your own discretion. wrote this all in one sitting idk what to think. but at least it was a fast update or something??

masterlist | previous | next

Y/n ended up picking out a sparkly, blue minidress. Peggy had insisted she buy it months ago, and now she finally had an occasion to wear it. Now that it was on, Y/n wondered why she had never worn it before. It fit her snuggly, accentuating all her best features. And when paired with heels? She felt like some kind of runway model. 

If the smile on her face when she looked in the mirror wasn’t enough to boost her ego, the look on Thomas’s face would have sent her over the edge. When she opened the door, he was wearing a confident smirk, but it dropped from his face when he saw what she was wearing. 

“Wow. I just... wow.” He stared at her with his mouth open. 

Y/n stepped out into the hallway and turned to close the door so he didn’t see the proud smile she has on. “Hm? Have I finally brought Thomas Jefferson to a loss for words?”

Thomas blinked a few times, shook his head, and attempted to recover. “I’m always at a loss for words when it comes to you, angel.”

“Annnndddd he’s back,” she laughed. “Let’s get to that speakeasy now, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

This time there was no awkward silence this time like there had been before their first official date. Thomas had asked Y/n out a few times since then, sometimes it was just for lunch or coffee, sometimes it was front row orchestra tickets. Despite all the dates, Y/n nor Thomas tried to define the relationship, both seemingly happy to have a casual thing between the two of them.

That didn’t change the fact that every time Y/n’s phone buzzed, her serotonin levels raised, and if the text did happen to be from Thomas, she wouldn’t even try to hide her smile. She had attempted to hide her smile before, but discovered it was too tiring an ordeal. 

It was true that they had grown quite close over the span of a few weeks, but they still insisted on keeping whatever their relationship was a secret from their friends, co-workers, and family. 

“Are we really making a detour to a bookstore?” Y/n asked as Thomas tugged her into a rundown shop. 

Thomas raised an eyebrow and glanced back at her. “Angel, what do you think a speakeasy is?”

She narrowed her eyes, wondering if he was trying to insult her or set up a trap. “It’s a secret bar.”

“Yes,” he nodded, “and it wouldn’t be much of a secret if the entrance was in an obvious place.”

Her mouth formed a small ‘o’ when the realization struck her. In the back of the store, Thomas approached a bookstore employee and tapped them on the shoulder. Thomas exchanged a few lines of a Shakespeare sonnet with the employee (a pretentious fact that Y/n made a note to make fun of him for later), and the employee was sliding open a bookcase a few seconds later. 

Thomas turned back to smile at Y/n, easily slipping his hand through her’s, and tugging her inside. The bookcase slid shut behind them. Y/n was shocked that a moment ago she had been standing in a quiet bookshop, and now she was standing in a lavish speakeasy. 

In one corner of the room, there was an arrangement of opulent lounge chairs. There was a bar in the back of the room where a bartender was mixing up elaborate cocktails, and a small crowd was gathered around him. Jazzy music filled the air, and occupants found any room in the small space to dance wildly with each other. 

Y/n wrapped her hand around Thomas’s arm, pulling him closer in case she lost him in the sea of dancing bodies. 

“I don’t know if I was expecting it to be so lively,” she spoke loudly in Thomas’s ear.

He shrugged. “It’s the grand opening, I doubt it’s always like this. Want to grab a drink?”

Y/n wanted to say something about the last time she had gotten drunk around him, but the truth is, she did want a drink, so she just nodded. Thomas gripped her hand and they journeyed through the sea of drunken dancers to the bar. After a few minutes, they were able to place their orders for drinks that sounded good in theory, but were more intimidating when the bartender lit the drink on fire. 

“So what do you think?” Thomas leaned against the bar, his eyes watching her carefully. 

Y/n grinned widely. “I love it here. Glad I didn’t decline your answer to go out tonight.”

“Did you really consider declining?” He laughed, feigning an offended expression. 

“The point is, I didn’t,” Y/n said, leaning forward and gripping his arm. “C’mon, let’s go dance.”

Thomas was in no position to deny her, and he happily allowed Y/n to pull him away from the bar and into the lively crowd. Y/n wasn’t an expert dancer, but Thomas made her look good, spinning and swaying in time with the music. She had her arms thrown around his shoulder, her fingertips lightly tapping a rhythm into the fabric of his back as she hummed along to the song playing. 

This close to him, Y/n could distinctly smell the scents of cedar and amber on him with a faint trace of cherry blossoms. It was like he had just walked out of the Library of Congress, and she would have believed him if he said he had. Thomas’s hands dug firmly into her skin, pulling her hips so they were flush against his. 

They continued dancing like this for a few songs, but by the time the third song came to an end, both of them were nearly out of breath.

“I think I need some water,” Y/n laughed, as their bodies parted slightly.

“I think you’re right,” he grinned. Something caught Thomas’s eye beyond Y/n’s shoulder, and he tapped her hip lightly. “I think I see my client over there, angel. I should go say hi. Would you mind getting me a glass of water as well?”

She stood on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, “don’t take too long.”

Y/n released him and sauntered over to the bar, making sure to swing her hips with every step, knowing exactly the effect she had on Thomas. He cursed quietly under his breath and shook his head. 

Thomas wasn’t planning on spending too much time thanking his client for inviting him to the speakeasy, but now he had even more reason to make the conversation short. He couldn’t have been parted from Y/n for more than five minutes when he found her once more at the bar. 

The sight that greeted him wasn’t a pleasant one. A young blonde guy had found his way to her side, and he was leaning in a little too close. Y/n didn’t pay much mind to him, occasionally rolling her eyes at some cheesy pick-up line he was attempting. She felt Thomas’s gaze on her before she turned to see him staring at her a few feet away. 

One glance was all she needed to see how worked up he was just having another man talk to her. Y/n sent Thomas a coy smirk and turned to the blonde beside her with a newfound interest. 

“What was that you were saying, handsome?” She asked the blonde in a soft tone, her hand reaching up to lightly trace over his tie. Y/n glanced at Thomas, her grin widening a little when she saw his eyes narrowing and his fists clenched at his sides. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to come home with me tonight,” the blonde said, stunned at her change in attitude toward him.

“Hm, that’s an interesting off--”

Y/n felt a hand tightly grip the wrist of the hand she had absentmindedly playing with the blonde’s tie. She looked up to see a seething Thomas glaring at her. 

“Sorry, she’s already got plans for this evening.” Thomas didn’t waste anymore breath on the blonde, placing his hand on her lower back and leading her away from the bar. 

“I can’t leave you alone for a minute, can I?” He growled softly when they were out of earshot. 

Thomas brought her back into the crowd of dancers, but the mood had changed immensely since the last time they had been dancing. His hands were holding her body tightly as if he was afraid she might slip away. Y/n could feel the heat of his breath while he slid his hands up and down her body.

“I’m an adult, you don’t have to babysit me,” she shut her eyes momentarily, enjoying the feeling of his body against her’s. 

“I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t act like a child.”

Her eyes snapped open and she glared at him. “Bite me.”

Thomas didn’t miss a beat. “Where?”

Y/n gasped softly, her eyes going wide. Thomas didn’t wait long for a reply, pulling her body closer, if that was even possible, and placing his lips on the exposed skin on her neck. He lightly nipped at her skin, and Y/n refrained from letting out a deep moan, swallowing roughly instead. Her hand found the back of his neck and she pulled him closer to her. 

“Don’t talk to other guys like that,” Thomas’s voice was raspy as his lips pressed kisses against her skin. 

Framing his face with her hands, Y/n brought him up to look her in the eye, an eyebrow raised. Realizing his mistake, Thomas quickly rephrased. “Wait, no. I’m aware I can’t tell you what to do. I just... please don’t talk to anyone else like that. Not in front of me.”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone but you. You’re an idiot,” she smiled, “now kiss me.”

Thomas didn’t need to be asked twice. He held Y/n’s face in one hand, the other hand resting on her lower back. Thomas pressed his lips against her’s like her kiss was the oxygen he needed to breathe. His knee slid between her thighs, and she grinded against his leg on instinct. He groaned into the kiss, and the next thing Y/n knew, he had pulled away from her completely.

“We need to get out of here,” Thomas panted.

Y/n nodded. “Your place?”

“My place,” he agreed.

They exited the speakeasy in record time, and the cool air outside seemed to momentarily sober them up. Thomas was sure the Uber driver didn’t appreciate how handsy they were being in the backseat, so he made sure he tipped generously. 

When Thomas had closed his apartment door behind him, Y/n nearly jumped on him, your lips latching onto his. His hands slid up her legs, the electric blue dress she had been wearing began to bunch up around her waist. Thomas’s fingers slipped expertly into her panties, sliding them down her legs and to her ankles.

Thomas got down on his knees in front of her, tearing down a wall Y/n had tried so hard to keep up with every kiss he placed on the inside of her thighs. Y/n could feel her heart racing a hundred beats per minute in her chest as her head hit the the wall behind her. She reached a hand down to thread through Thomas’s hair, gently guiding him to where she needed him the most. 

He took the hint, his tongue sliding against Y/n’s pussy lips, once, then twice. Thomas successfully elicited an unrestrained moan from your mouth. Enjoying the sound, his tongue darted into her folds once more, his fingers digging bruises into her hips.

Thomas brought her close to the edge, then in some kind of telepathic way, he pulled away just as she was about to reach her climax. He continued this pattern a few more times until she couldn’t take it anymore and tugged at his hair.

“Thomas, please,” his name sounded like a prayer on her lips. “I need you to stop teasing me. I want you. All of you.”

He nodded in understanding, standing up and pulling her into his bedroom. Thomas’s hands found the hem of Y/n’s dress in the dark and pulled it over her head. Y/n began undoing Thomas’s belt buckle while he unclasped her bra and flung the garment into some forgotten corner of the room. His hands traced her body, memorizing every curve and indent and Y/n tugged down his pants. 

Thomas picked her up and threw her onto the bed. He tugged off his shirt before climbing onto the bed after her. Thomas pressed his lips to hers firmly, and Y/n willing returned the kiss. She ran her hand down his back, and Thomas’s hips bucked forward at the feeling. Y/n’s eyes widened slightly at the feeling of his large erection through his boxers. 

“You have protection?” She asked with a hoarse voice. 

“Yeah,” he murmured, climbing off of her to retrieve a condom from his nightstand. 

Y/n heard the crinkling of foil, then a few moments later she felt the bed dip under his weight and he was once more above her. He lined himself up at her entrance then paused, thumbing tracing the outline of her lips and eyes staring into her’s in a moment of raw intimacy. 

“You’re sure about this?” He said softly. “I’ll stop right now if you say the word.”

Y/n admired the way he searched her features for any trace of hesitance or doubt. She shook her head. “Don’t stop. Please, I need you--”

She was cut off with her own moan when he pushed his length inside her. Y/n gasped as she struggled to accommodate his large size. Her nails dug into his blood, and she wouldn’t have been surprised if she drew blood. 

“Oh, angel, you feel so good around me,” Thomas panted as he pumped in and out of her. 

Y/n didn’t even try to restrain her scream of his name when he began to pick up his pace, gaining speed and working through her body skillfully. His neighbors would not be happy with Y/n tomorrow, but she couldn’t care what they thought. She was in bliss.

“Thomas... oh god, Thomas...” Y/n struggled getting any coherent words out as she neared her climax, and Thomas wasn’t having any more luck. 

Thomas kept up at his rapid pace, and a few minutes later he was riding her through her orgasm. Y/n screamed out his name once more, and that seemed to push Thomas over the edge as he reached his climax as well. 

Y/n and Thomas stood still for a moment, panting. Finally, Thomas pulled out and got up long enough to throw the used condom in the trash before collapsing down at Y/n’s side where he belonged. 

“You’re perfect, angel. You’re perfect.”

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[ickle-ronniekins]

my absolute favorite person

feeling emotional, as per usual, so here’s some angst and stuff. idk what this is but that’s fine. sorry if it’s similar to wildflowers (’cause i'm kinda getting that feeling) but maybe i needed to write george his own lil story, too

here are parts two and three, lovelies!

pairing: george x reader

word count: 1.6k of absolute heartbreak sry

tag list: @mintlibri @georgeweasleyx @seppys-return-to-madness @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @laneygthememequeen @lupinsx @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @waschbiber @dreamer821 @feffffffy @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @obsessedwithrandomthings @thoseofgreatambition @harrysweasleys @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic @purplefragile @90shermione @zreads @susceptible-but-siriusexual @parker-potters @andromedaa-tonks @bbstrawberry0421 @princessof-theuniverse @cappsikle

It was a bright day that day -- the sunlight had flooded the corridors and drenched the grounds in golden hues. You’d nestled yourself next to a tree near the water’s edge, only to tug at your hair in fits of rage and stress due to the massive amounts of homework you still had on your plate. You’d figured it would be a peaceful location, except your stress had made it not that way.

But he did.

It was a bright day the day you’d realized you loved him.

His touch had jostled you -- partly because you weren’t expecting it and partly because he’d fallen into a fit of raucous laughter when you’d jumped up in surprise. “You git, you’ve frightened me!”

He'd sat himself down next to you and poked you near your ribs. “Smile, won’t you? It’s a gorgeous day,”

“Yes,” you’d agreed breathlessly, peering out across the lake at the mountains reflected against the water. It really was beautiful. You’d turned back toward him and began teasing. “So, have you come here to help me with my work, or have you something else planned -- like, bothering me, for example?”

“Oh, certainly the latter,” he’d chuckled before waving you off. “You should know better than anyone that I’d never go out of my way to help anyone with their work.”

You’d rolled your eyes; you knew it was true, but you adored teasing him anyway. Adored the way he looked. The way the corner of his eyes crinkled when he’d laugh, the slight dimple that appeared on his cheek when he’d smile, the way he’d scratch at his hair a bit whenever you teased him so.

“Even so,” you’d replied, closing your spell book and placing the bit of parchment you’d been staring at for the better half of two hours back inside your bag, “somehow I still let myself hang around with the likes of you.”

“It’s because you love me,” he’d offered, grinning giddily from cheek to cheek, “and because I’m your absolute favorite person.”

You’d scoffed at his confidence; but would he really be George Weasley if he wasn’t confident? You shook your head and peered out toward the lake; your skin felt like it was on fire, for how had he known that he was, in fact, your favorite person? You’d shoved him playfully, “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Even so,” he’d replied, pulling you to your feet before flashing you one of those award-winning, heart-churning, insides-melting grins of his, “you’re still my absolute favorite person.”

It was a bright day the day you’d told yourself that one day, you’d marry that boy, who’d clumsily grabbed you and tried as he might, while you laughed and yelled, to push you into the water you both were so very close too.

So how did you end up here, at his engagement party, with a smile on your face that was fraudulent, with a man on your arm that was your husband, but was not the boy in question, and with a heart so broken, you wondered if you’d ever be able to properly piece it back together?

The sight of him alone made your insides squirm; he was so painfully happy, with his beautiful fiancé on his arm, but you swore his smile brightened when he locked eyes with you.

“Can’t even begin to tell you how bloody happy I am to see you,” he said as he pulled you into an all too familiar embrace. The one that felt like home. He lowered his voice and whispered, “If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have any of these other nutters here -- just you, and my family.”

You pulled away and cleared your throat rather audibly to suppress the tears that were burning the back of your nose and throat at the sight of his askew tie. Same old silly boy, he was. You fixed it as you told him, “I reckon your mother wouldn’t be too happy about that, George.”

He wiggled his eyebrows at you. “I reckon you’re right.”

You and Fred were to give speeches -- or, stories, really. Speeches sounded so bloody pretentious. Just stories about anything and everything -- perhaps the time the two of them had been caught by their father setting a trap to catch Santa at the young age of four when Fred had accidentally caught George instead, or the time George had clumsily stepped on your feet at the Yule Ball during a dance, resulting in you icing it for the rest of the evening, and him sitting beside you, telling you the dumbest jokes in the history of the universe, just so he could make you laugh and forget about the very dull ache coming from your toes.

How were you supposed to get up there, in front of your husband and George’s family and friends, and tell a story about your very best friend in the entire world without your feelings seeping through your lips with every word you spoke? Every truthful word, filled with love and adoration and fondness.

You’d always been a good liar, you reckoned. Hopefully it would come across today.

How did you both end up here?

George, with a beautiful woman who adored him so, but was never on the receiving end of one of those award-winning grins he loved to give. Not like the ones he gave you, anyway. And you, with a husband you did truly love, but not as much as the man in question -- the silly boy you’d always loved, even when you didn’t know it.

“You going to be alright?”

Fred’s voice was rough in your ears; the words alone sent a chill down your spine. You noticed goosebumps appear on your arms and hoped you could blame the wind. He was peering out at the guests who were taking their seats at the tables underneath the autumn sunlight next to the Burrow. Red, orange, and yellow leaves covered the landscape. It was a perfect fall day. “Of course I am, Freddie,” you replied, sipping your champagne, “why wouldn’t I be?”

He turned toward you now, and cocked his head sympathetically. “Come on. Don’t do that with me.”

“Do what?”

“This,” he motioned back and forth between the two of you. “Pretend. You know I’ve always been able to read you like a book.”

“I resent the implication,” you teased, praying the small grin you were able to offer would be enough to shut him up. You were wrong. Nothing was ever able to shut Fred Weasley up. You snorted playfully. “And you? Read a book? I must be dreaming,”

“I resent the implication,” he echoed you, and you watched as a bright smile split his face. He turned again to peer out toward the crowd and began nodding politely at familiar faces. To you, though, he said, “I know how you feel about him. It’s obvious, isn’t it? Maybe not to all, but it is to me. You can’t fool me. I knew it then, at school, all those years ago. I knew it at your wedding, when you said “I do” to the wrong man..” Fred’s voice drifted off, and you picked absentmindedly at your wedding ring. Fred grabbed your arm gently and turned you toward him, so there was no way to avoid eye contact. His face was stern, his lips a perfect, thin line. “And I know it now.”

You nervously looked from person to person, hoping that Fred would just drop it, because there were so many people around. When you met his gaze again, you were aware that there was no way to get out this without admitting to what Fred already knew. In a low voice, you said, “What the hell am I supposed to do, Fred? I’m married, and he’s engaged. Am I just supposed to pull him aside and tell him that I’ve been mad for him since we were sixteen? That we’ve both made mistakes and need to fix them? That I pretended it didn’t hurt when he met her, so I went and found myself someone and fell in love and got married anyway, despite my own overwhelming feelings for him I chose to suppress?”

“Yes,” Fred said flatly, as if it were obvious. “Married? Engaged? Bloody hell, it doesn’t matter. Not when you’re letting the love of your life pass you by.”

You folded your arms across your chest and tried to ignore him. Tried to ignore your heart. But the pang you felt when you watched as George kissed his fiancé was more painful than anything you’d felt in your entire life. Including that time Umbridge had used her special quills on the three of you in one particularly dreadful detention.

You took a deep breath and wet your lips. “You said it yourself, Fred,” you started through clenched teeth, once you downed the rest of your champagne and twirled the empty flute between your fingers, “the love of my life. I’m not the love of his.”

Molly began to clap her hands and ask that everyone take their seats, for George’s two best mates in the world were about to embarrass him and there was no more time to waste! Fred cleared his throat, downed the rest of his champagne as well, and grabbed you both two refilled flutes from the table next to you. “Actually, Y/N,” he started, handing you more champagne and looking as serious as he’d ever been in all his life, “I never said the latter.”

You couldn’t believe the chill those few words sent down your spine; instead of shaking them off, you listened to the muffled sounds of Fred beginning his speech (for blood was pounding in your ears) and focused your eyes on the boy sitting down in front of you, already bowing his head in embarrassment, and wondered if you’d be able to make it through your own stories without George and your husband realizing what Fred had apparently known since you were tiny little sixth years.

You pulled your speech out of your purse and ran your fingers across your own handwriting, feeling a pull at your heart when you read what you’d been mulling over for the past few months. You wondered if the words alone would tell everyone exactly what they needed to know.

You’re my absolute favorite person.

[outerbankslut]

Listen Before I Go... Draco Malfoy

Summary • Based on the song ‘Listen Before I Go’ by Billie Eilish. At the final battle at hogwarts, Draco realises something too late.

Warnings • death, sadness etc. Swearing.

Word Count • 1.2k (Blurb)

Masterlist

(GIF isn’t mine, let me know if it’s yours)

    Take me to the rooftop

    I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turnin' blue 

    Tell me love is endless, don't be so pretentious 

    Leave me like you do

    DRACO SAW IT all. It was all so sudden. He saw the eruption of light that emitted from in front of him, like blue electricity that blinded him until it was too late. He saw it shoot forward. He saw you in the line of fire. Your eyes turned to him almost in slow motion as you both knew what was happened and then a second later you were gone. Draco moved to do something. Save you, sacrifice himself but instead he felt your limp body fall into his arms as he fell to the floor barely holding you up. Your eyes no longer begging him, pleading for him to be okay, to not do anything. Your eyes were empty, lifeless. Skin cold as ice and unforgivingly colourless and hollow. A single tear trickled down your cheek as you breathed your final breath. The life was sucked out of you.

    Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek 

    That's what a year long headache does to you 

    I'm not okay, I feel so scattered 

    Don't say I'm all that matters     

    Leave me, deja vu

    YOU SAT UP confused as you looked around, sure that you were meant to be dead. But you felt fine. Your eyes scanned the chaos around you and saw the back of the blond boy you were looking for.

“Draco!” You shouted scrambling to your feet and across all the rubble towards the boy. “Draco...”

Confusion set in as soon as you saw the body laid across his lap. The tears in your eyes weren’t falling. Somehow you felt at peace with this revelation. Your heart aches seeing the boy you loved. 

His tear stained face sobbing and scrunched up in pain.

You were everything. The one person who chose to love him despite his flaws. Understanding and kind. You helped him realise how wrong he was about everything. Or at least how wrong his parents were.

But apparently you were too late. If only he’d chosen the right path and not let his misguided upbringing stray him towards the dark side. It was out of pure necessity. Survival. But if he knew this was going to happen to you because of his mistakes he’d go back and choose the right path a hundred times no matter where it leaves him.

His hands curled tightly around the ripped and worn fabric covering you as he sobbed into the crook of your neck. His cries begging you to come back. But the blond knew it wouldn’t work. You were dead and only the darkest and most dangerous of magic could ever bring you back. But the boy knew you wouldn’t want that. You’d curse him for even thinking about it at all. As the boy sat up he kissed your forehead softly, “I love you, Y/N.”

    If you need me, wanna see me 

    You better hurry, I'm leavin' soon 

    Sorry can't save me now 

    Sorry I don't know how 

    Sorry there's no way out 

    But down

    HE SHOOK HIS head as a lump formed in his throat choking him. Not allowing him to breath as he thought about you. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

His blue eyes cast towards the wand still grasped loosely in your outstretched hand that Draco remembered holding. Feeling your reassuring squeeze as you have him a smile. There was nothing now. The Malfoy hesitantly moved a shaking hand towards the wood in your hand seeing its intricate features you had loved about it so much.

His hand grazed one of your fingers wincing at its icy cold harshness. He felt his jaw clench. You’d never be able to go where you wanted in life. Never be able to become the amazing wizard you were. He choked back a sob that could shatter worlds as he thought about everything he already missed. It had all become something he looked forward to when seeing you. He craved the sound of you laughing, laughter that he had caused and the smile that appeared on your face. He missed seeing you excited over what class you were going to that day or new things you learnt. You’d always tell Draco about them and he’d listen despite already hearing it in that class before, just because it was you.

    Call my friends and tell them that I love them 

    And I'll miss them

    But I'm not sorry 

    Call my friends and tell them that I love them  

    And I'll miss them

    Sorry

    HE CLOSED YOUR eyes slowly saying goodbye to the the very things that looked toward him in adoration instead of disgust and hate and that held a comforting gaze as he felt footsteps wander behind him.

“What happened?” The stern but quick and distant voice Hermione Granger appeared behind him as he felt all the world falling around him. White noise and chaos. Would he be able to be without you.

You watched from afar as he cradled you no ounce of him ready to let go of you and Hermione approached from behind. You walked up to him your ghostly hand setting on his shoulder.

He could feel comfort surge through him. He felt the weight of your hand there. It almost felt like he could feel your breath on his neck. And almost as if he heard you murmur the words in his ear, your voice soft and sultry. He already craved the feeling of you again.

“Draco. It’s okay. You can let go now. I have to go now,” You turned seeing the ever growing white light around you. You were ready. Never ready to leave him. But you were ready to wait for him. You’d always wait for him. “But be strong for me. I’ll always be here. I’ll always be waiting. And when you’re ready, we can see each other again. Be happy and please tell everyone I’ll—I’ll miss them. Please live your life, okay? I love you, Draco Malfoy.”

You kissed the boys forehead and you saw the pain flash on his face. He heard every word. And it hurt even worse. He wouldn’t hear you singing in the halls or ever feel your presence around him again. He could only imagine. He let out small sputter. Burying his face in the crook of your neck as he pulled you closer to his body. And suddenly he felt a hand in his shoulder, just as you walked away from him. Towards the light.

He turned quickly only to see the Granger girl there an abundance of tears gathering in her eyes as she let out a small gasp inaudible to Draco as he sobbed. He didn’t know when he’d stopped but eventually he laid you down on the ground and stood up with his wand. His eyes were free of tears and his face monotone as he looked at everything falling down scattered around him. Giants were destroying structures of Hogwarts. Flashes of magic were everywhere. The setting was dusty and filled with debris. It was all falling apart. But Draco was glad you weren’t at the centre of it now. And if he needed to, he’d sacrifice himself. For everyone who’d lost someone, for you, for Hogwarts. For anyoen he hurt. 

And then maybe he’d see you again. Maybe he could finally make the right choice.

Note • I literally came up with this like two hours ago and it was meant to be a blurb but then I realised how similar it was to this song so I put some of the lyrics in and then edited it after and obviously it was a lot longer than before. I did only roughly edit so please excuse the bad grammar and spelling mistakes :) anyway so yeah finally fricking posted. Hoping to finish a stiles imagine for bricks’ writing thing but it finishes in two days so idk whether it’ll be finished but anyway I have to go revise for a psychology test that’s in like 7 hours oop.

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[cherrysha]

Advice

Okayyyy so its been a minute, i know i know.. but I’m back! oof ive been feeling like my writing is pretentious and shtewpid so i write smthn and it stays in the drafts. But Im done with that! Theres a lot of stuff I cant wait to share with yall!

as for this piece, idk what it is. theres no angst or anything... id just describe it as bros being dudes. kinda boring ngl but i couldnt get it outta my head.

Summary: Nobu asks his oldest friend for advice.

Word count: 818

My request are open atm

Warnings: Smoking? allusions to death, cursing

“What do you get a girl when you want her to like you?” Nobu asks.

 They’d been walking for what felt like ages, but it seemed as though the forest had swallowed them whole. The canopy above was almost impenetrable by sunlight, only faint trickles making their way through. “What?” And Uvo’s dead serious. Who the fuck thought about something that stupid? Surely not him, and surely no one he knew.

“Yeah.. like do you get her flowers or somethin’?” And it’s enough to make Uvo stop walking. “Did I hit you too fuckin’ hard in our session today?” He scoffs. There an indignant frown on Nobu’s face that confuses the bigger spider even more. With a shake of his head, Uvo slowly continues his earlier pace on the path.

“You must be losing your mind. Why the fuck would you care?”Nobunaga sighs, muttering something about Uvo being a meathead before fiddling with the pommel of his katana. 

Their pace is lazy, there’s no rush, if anything they’d get to their destination earlier than they needed to be. Even though he’d never admit it, Nobu found comfort in the fact that Uvo always wanted to be on time. It meant that he never really had to pay attention.

After an hour of Nobu’s perceived sulking, or rather just his mind trying to work out how exactly to go about this, Uvo lets out a deep sigh. He throws his hands up, eyebrows raised as he asks the smaller man “Why are you even thinking about this? You’re a spider, right? Just fuckin take what you want” “It’s not that easy. I want her to like me you big jughead-“ “You want her right? Then just fuckin take her and worry about that shit later! It IS that easy” Nobunaga furrows his brow, the choice even more unclear with Uvo’s suggestion. “If you’re so worried about what she thinks then how d’you think she’s gunna react when she finds out who you are?” Uvo growls, taking a step closer as if invading Nobu’s personal space will force some sense into him. And this time It’s Nobu’s turn to get loud. “I didn’t get that far!” He pinches the bridge of his nose before breathing again. “Tsk... you know I’m right Nobu.” He grunts, the last part of his sentence is mumbled, as if he’s over the conversation but still has much more to say on the subject. “Like we’d get flowers and chocolate and go on fuckin dates. You know that’s stupid.” Nobu drops it for the time being. It was clear he wasn’t going to find any help from his partner.

The path stretches out further in front of them. What little light they had now dwindling into nothing, until their eyes make out the moonbeams that cast dark shadows across the trail. If Uvo had calculated it right, they’d reach the meetup spot by noon tomorrow if they kept walking at this pace. A day early, but enough time to get some quality sleep before the heist. 

After a few more hours, He offers Nobu a chance to rest. Uvo’s back leaned up against a tree on the side of the road, he watches the other man’s cigarette smoke drift through the tree branches.

“If you're still distracted during the heist, I will kill you myself.” It’s a threat that holds a sliver of truth, Nobunaga knows, but he scoffs anyway.

Pinching the lit cigarette between his pursed lips, he fiddles with the tie holding his hair up. After a few seconds it finally comes loose, his hair cascading onto his shoulders. Jet black, it looks as if the darkness surrounding them has chosen to swallow him whole.

“I’d like to see you try.”

And it gets the reaction he wants. Uvo’s lips curl into one of his manic smiles, one of the ones that promise he’s up to no good.

“I can do it right now if you're in such a rush to die.” 

Nobu smiles at that. His friend was never one to turn down a challenge. “I’d rather wait a few days. Then we’ll have an audience.” Uvo’s laugh is booming, shaking the tree behind him with the sheer energy of it. With a push Nobunaga is on his feet again, cigarette butt still in his mouth as he speaks to Uvo.

“Get up, we’re going to be late if we keep taking this many breaks.”

“Alright, alright.” The man huffs, smile still plastered on his face.

In truth Nobu doesn’t care what time they end up making it to their destination, but he knows that Uvo does. 

And even though he hated to admit it, but the beast of a man was right. He didn’t have time to think about something so trivial when he had troupe business to focus on. He had to keep his mind sharp. The path still stretches miles ahead of them, and even though he’s still uncertain, Uvo has somehow managed to calm him. After all, he was right. Spiders took what they wanted.

[lilacandladybugs]

hey since youre talking about christianity, i was wondering if you could answer a question ive been curious about. if god cares about people and if jesus died for our sins, then why does hell exist? and if god cares about us then why did he let so much bad stuff happened in his name, and even cause it, like with the noah’s arch story?

sorry if any of this is wrong ive never read the bible, but ive had bad experiences with christianity in the past and the way you talk about it seems much nicer than the way i know it

I don’t think I can answer this question in a way that doesn’t come across as pretentious or like I’m asking for an argument or just being straight up unsatisfying. But I just am going to try anyway because i'm hoping that maybe this will be comforting or helpful to someone. I’m sorry if this is offensive I am really trying my best, please take this all in the best possible way and be gracious with me 

The thing about this ask is that it’s actually a bunch of different questions, and since each of them individually is really hard to answer so I’m going to narrow it down to just one ( im sorry ;-; ) . The one I’ve thought about the most is “Why does God let bad things happen if he loves us?”

When this question first really occurred to me, I was already a believer. So I was already pretty convinced that God exists logically, from the perspective of history, philosophy, science, and my personal experience. I believed in the /existence/ of the God who is represented in the scriptures. (I doubt anyone wants it but I can give you a list of resources if you want to look into any of that.) The struggle for me was whether or not all that evidence held true in the face of this moral dilemma; the problem of evil in the presence of a loving God.

But I just couldn’t turn my back on the concept of a moral grounding in God. I had a philosophy professor tell me that people are mortal and so we shouldn’t grieve them like they’re immortal, that grief is a choice, and that trauma is a choice. I respected her so much, but I just couldn’t accept that. There’s nothing more unsettling to me than suggesting that cruelty and death and suffering are only wrong because you think they are, and not because they’re violating sacred ancient laws. My friends dying, people hurting me, that isn’t just in my head. It’s /real/. They’re really dead, and it really matters. People really did something wrong when they hurt me, and it isn’t my fault for being hurt. It’s their fault for being cruel. And their cruelty is objectively morally wrong.

I realized that if I became an atheist I would have to accept the fact that there isn’t /objectively/ any difference between right and wrong. There isn’t any theoretical “right way” that the world should be. But to me, there is a right way it should be. There is a right way and it was lost because of sin.

It was I guess comforting that Christianity provided the premises I needed to ask a question like this. Evil exists. And love exists. So how can God exist? What a comforting question, in a way. To get to grieve, to be angry, to wonder what’s going on, to want things to be different. It was validating i guess

Don’t get me wrong i was FURIOUS i was so angry. I was so angry and so conflicted I kind of thought I might just like rip apart at my seams but I just felt caught between a rock and a hard place to be either abandoned by God or to not even be able to think about my experiences in a way that felt coherent.

He showed up though. I remember swearing at him, and laying up at night thinking he wasn’t there, I told him I wouldn’t have to have trauma if he would’ve stepped in, that my friends wouldn’t be dead, that he let it happen to me, that he just /witnessed/ it. And man idk he just showed up. He showed up every time. I almost walked away like five times that summer. And every time he sent someone, there was always someone that showed up and talked to me like out of nowhere. Or music, or scripture, or something someone said in passing. 

The night that it was really bad was when I realized that the only person who could save me was God and I cried out to him, and I just idk I’ve never been so desperate. I went to church the next day against my will and the sermon felt like it was written for me specifically. I cried through the whole thing.

If God is goodness, then how can I say he isn’t with me and around me constantly? In the sunrise and sunset, in the stars, in flowers, and in kind words. In sermons. In friends and family. In all the coincidences that stopped me from becoming an atheist, all of the answered prayers and the impossibilities. That’s why my side blog is called @in-the-whisper. Because I felt him there, even though it hurt, he was with me in the quiet and in the silence, in his whisper in a thousand different ways.

I was posed this question by someone who was there for me in one of those moments where I almost walked away from God, “Is sufficiency abundant?” I guess I thought it was. Where was God? In the peace that surpasses understanding. In the knowledge that everything is finished, that he died for us, that he didn’t abandon us. That whatever terrible things happen, he was willing to take all of the consequences for that onto himself in the person of Jesus. That one day he will set things right, even though it isn’t right right now. 

It comes down to the Gospel (good news, core story of the Christian faith); humanity actively chose to walk away from God in an act of rebellion. We had free will because God created us tenderly to be in a loving relationship with him, and loving relationships must be based on free will and they must be two way. So he let us walk away from him, and away from the sustainer of life our bodies break, our world crumbles, and we die. In order to bridge that gap, he chose to die in our place, so that we could re enter that free will relationship with him if we so choose. He died on the cross, descended into hell, and then in three days he rose from the grave, defeating death. And one day he will return on a white horse to rescue us and to take the world back as his own. If I believed that to be true, then I believed in the greatest intervention in human history that has ever occurred. The God of the Bible isn’t a distant God, "God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him." 1 John 4:9 He did the unthinkable for us.

Living in light of the gospel helped me to understand the way that God is present in my life, my present, past, and in my future. It gave me peace. When Horatio G. Spafford’s two daughters and wife died in a shipwreck, he wrote this,

“When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul." 

“Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, let this blest assurance control: that Christ has regarded my helpless estate and has shed His own blood for my soul.

“My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought. My sin, not in part, but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

“And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight The clouds be rolled back as a scroll The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend Even so, it is well with my soul!

“It is well with my soul, it is well, it is well with my soul.”

I don’t have an answer for your question. What I know is that I am willing to rest in the knowledge of my personal experiences and my research that God exists, that he is loving, and that he is powerful, just, and wise. Even the winds and the seas obey him, the mountains are like pebbles to him, thunder rolls at the sound of his voice. He had thought before time began, he gave all knowledge and all wisdom to us. 

Why do bad things happen also brings up the question, why do good things happen? Who do we have to thank when we get up in the morning and can see or hear or move or are alive in general? Why are we so blessed as to have two days and not just one? Where do mornings and complexity and beauty and wonder come from? They come from him. Not because we need it, but because he wants to give it to us. Enjoyment, existence, love, laughter, thought, beauty, heartbreak. The world is just as beautiful as it is terrible, and why should it be beautiful? Because he wants it to be that way.

God is so patient. He is so patient and kind and powerful, and he wants to hear your questions. Some of them, like this one, are in my opinion something that you have to talk to him about directly. He gives us thought and logic and reason and wisdom, and he asks for us to engage him. He will answer.

If any believers are reading this, I want you to know that it is enough to cry out to him in pain. It is enough to want to want to believe in him. He would so much rather hear from you in your anger than never hear from you at all. Seek him out, he will find you. He will chase after you.

I bet that he would chase after me, bet my life on it. I might not know the answer, but I am confident enough in what I do know that I’m willing to bet my existence that God will come true on his promises, that he will deliver me, that everything will be okay, that he is bigger than my trauma, and that he will hold me.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,     neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,     so are my ways higher than your ways     and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10 As the rain and the snow     come down from heaven, and do not return to it     without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,     so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:     It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire     and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. 12 You will go out in joy     and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills     will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field     will clap their hands. 13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,     and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown,     for an everlasting sign,     that will endure forever.” Isaiah 55:8-13

And I’m holding him to that promise.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Snowed In pt 2

I’m SHOCKED by how well Snowed In went over with y’all... like WOW 

Thank you!

Listen I was gonna go somewhere else with this (still might if anyone is interested) but I couldn’t resist getting all up in Geralt’s head. 

part one right here

Warnings: None fam. idk what to even call this? does it qualify as fluff?

__________

By the time Geralt had come back from the barn you were asleep in the middle of the bed. He’d spent a little extra time talking to Roach and making sure Beau’s tail wasn’t one long dread lock but he was still surprised you had gone to sleep so quickly.

He found himself smiling in relief when he noticed your eyes darting about beneath your eyelids, a deep sleep he hadn’t seen from you in weeks. Instead of going to bed and risking waking you, he sat cross-legged in front of the fire and took a deep breath. 

He could almost hear his instructor’s voice in his head even all these years later, “Sit comfortably” Impossible. “Slow your breathing” I might as well hold my breath “Let your thoughts pass without question. Even the odd ones. You can’t cease thinking, but you can tune out the nonsense.” My usual nonsense is somewhere on the other side of the pass chattering away to someone else. 

Despite his newfound lack of distractions, he couldn’t quite clear his mind. He kept thinking about how you fit so comfortably against his chest as he held you; how you’d asked him to stay with you and how you leaned into his touch. Your trust in him was what confused him the most. You’d drawn every horrible detail of his wrongdoings out of him, every last shameful word, some he hadn't even told Jaskier, yet you still let his hands near your neck. 

He took another deep breath, focusing on the pace instead of his thoughts. In, two, three, four, five, six. Out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…

Then there was the way your face had melted in concern at his words as he left. Your innocence and empathy never failed to surprise him, even after months of traveling and hunting. You had no reason, no right to treat him with the softness you did, even if it was thinly veiled in hostility. He had tried to push you away, but you had wormed your way under his armor and made a home there.

Stop it. Breathe.

But you wouldn’t let him be, or he wouldn’t let you be. He couldn’t tell anymore. You, the gritty, brave, and ever so vulnerable human ruled his thoughts and it terrified him.

For fuck’s sake. Let it go already.

The frustrated air he forced from his nostrils blew bits of ash and coal back into the fire, causing sparks to fly and the logs to shift.

“Geralt?” your voice was soft, lowered with sleep. 

He turned to see if you were really speaking or if he’d just imagined it, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

You propped yourself up on your elbows and squinted to see in the low light, "What are you doing on the floor?”

“Meditating,” he grumbled, “...or trying to.”

You let loose a puff of air in amusement, “Well how about you stop being pretentious and try sleeping?”

He sighed, pretending, as he always did, to take slight offence rather than let on he heard the tenderness there.

He didn’t notice the troubled look in your eyes as you watched him ready for bed, “You don’t need to walk on eggshells around me.”

He laid down next to you, choosing not to tell you that he was always making an effort to be more careful with you, “Wasn’t planning on it.”

You nodded, shifting onto your back in your usual spot pressed against the wall and tugging at the laces of the nightshirt you’d chosen. The two of you laid in silence for a while, the pace of your heartbeat being the only sign you hadn't slipped back into unconsciousness. 

He shifted to lay on his side facing you, tucking his arm up under his pillow. You spared him a glance before going back to staring at the ceiling, leaving him to wonder what was on your mind. He thought maybe your worry had crept back in your sleep, taking hold when he wasn't here to talk you back from the ledge of panic. Not that it would have helped anyway, he clearly was no wordsmith. Maybe you'd simply realized how odd it was that you slept soundly next to a man literally designed to kill as efficiently as possible. 

He hoped that wasn't it as he closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing yet again in vain. He smelled nothing but the soap and oils in your hair that lay damp beside your head on the pillow. The combination of scents was comforting to him, as much as he wished it wasn't, and he found his thoughts revisiting the soft sighs that escaped your lips at his touch. Never in his life had he been so mystified. His mind reeled just thinking about it, someone he trusted and cared for enjoyed his touch. Not tolerated, not lusted after, not flinched at, but naively enjoyed.

You shifted to face him, the dip in the mattress pulling you closer to him, "Geralt?" 

"Hmm?"

He heard you take in a breath, let it out again, take in another, preparing to say something, then fall silent. He opened his eyes, analyzing the curve of your brow and the way your lips pursed as if you were holding a question between your teeth. You were never hesitant like this, he was sure you'd chew out the gods if they gave you opportunity, but your face was unreadable. 

"What is it?" He whispered.

You reached across the bed to trace a scar on the back of his hand pressed into the blankets. A scar you had given him when you first met, he liked to think it made him yours when he had the courage to daydream. The sensation was always odd, the dull hint of touch over the scarred tissue and the overreaction of the nerves next to it sent alarm bells off in the back of his mind. 

You kept your eyes on the vague forms of your hands, "You said you owed me more… what could you possibly owe me?" 

"Y/N," your eyes snapped up to meet his, making it all the more difficult for him to think through his answer, "I… I don't know that I could put it into words." 

The words felt hollow as they left his lips, the victory of keeping his emotions safe tainted by the look of disappointment and resignation in your eyes. 

You nodded, patting the back of his hand, "You owe me nothing. Call it even, let's say?" 

This was worse than what he'd imagined, the mental floundering and looking for a way to fix what he'd done was foreign and confusing. You'd let him off the hook, as you always did, and accepted that his answer would have to be enough. The difference this time was that he didn't want to be let off the hook.

"But I do." He argued, trapping your hand under his as you moved to pull it away, words barely escaping his lips, "I owe you, at the very least, a worthy answer." He turned your hand over, skimming his thumb over your palm as he whispered, "You hold my life in your hands and instead of doing what you should… tossing me by the wayside, you treat me with gentleness and… acceptance that I don't deserve. I at least owe you the same in return." 

Had he the courage to look you in the eyes he would have had time to be shocked and confused by the anger reflected in them, "Don't you dare tell me how I should or shouldn't treat you ever again. I get to decide that, not anyone else, least of all you." 

The change in tone nearly gave him whiplash, but all he could do was stare at you with a mix of confusion and surprise.

"You say I'm not used to people accommodating my emotions, but you don't give anyone the chance to get close enough to know what you're feeling." You continued, voice softening on seeing him balk, "I decide you owe me nothing. Feel guilty about it if that makes it easier, but don't mistake my affections for pity." You tugged your hand free of his and gently laid it over his jaw as you spoke. 

He barely registered your pulse quickening, his whole body nearly going numb with shock at your words. 

You rubbed your thumb over his temple and smiled, "Let's go to sleep, yeah?"

He nodded, laying his hand over yours with a smirk, "Yes ma'am…" 

You snorted and kicked at his shin under the blankets, "Ew don't call me ma'am." 

Almost without thinking he trapped your knee under his own, paying close attention to your response. When you blushed and bit your lip he thought you might just be the death of him. You gently pulled your hand back, sending a pang of doubt down his spine before you tugged at his wrist and laced your fingers through his, your palm covering his scar. 

You squeezed his hand and smiled before closing your eyes and sighing in content. 

He lay there for a long while after you'd fallen back asleep, slowly but surely putting the pieces of the day together. He was almost ashamed how distracted he was by your skin on his, soft and warm and unfamiliar. Your touch was so foreign in it's innocence that he almost felt guilty, almost. 

It was beginning to grow light out when his mind finally slowed enough to let him sleep. His last thought before peace was that it might be nice to lay next to you just like this, well into the morning.

Part 3 here!

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Royal Assassin

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Not as stark a difference as with Assassin’s Apprentice, but definitely still there. Apart from all the obvious stuff, like feeling much more attached to the characters already and picking up more details, I think the biggest change was a complete lack of patience for the teen romance drama lol. There was a decent period where I was feeling quite frustrated with it. Not that I loved it the first time round, but back then I had a very different view of how it fit into the story. I saw it as teaching Fitz a depressing lesson of what it really means to be a royal bastard and a king’s man. Fitz’s literal need (for all he knows he would have been killed if not for his deal with Shrewd) and sense of duty to put his loyalty to his king and country first creates a relationship that is toxic, turbulent and built on lies. And teenage horniness masquerading as love. I saw all that the first time and thought it was just something he had to go through. Now I know it’s something he never really goes through but rather grips onto, romanticises and ultimately goes back to. I know the point of that is meant to be that he finally gets to have something for himself, but why it had to be Molly specifically??? I have very few qualms with Robin’s writing choices overall, but why she chose to write their relationship this way if they really are meant to be is beyond me, especially when so many of her other romances are written so well - it feels like it can’t possibly be unintentional. For most of this book they’re either fighting or fucking and honey! That ain’t love! Hell, Fitz all but sees her as just another demand on his time as the book goes on. But he can’t let her go because she’s the one thing he can point to that makes him feel normal. Not happy, not cherished, not safe. Normal. She’s simply a refuge from his real life. He literally says to Chade “I need her.” I find that so telling, man. It’s not really about her, which is a shame because Molly is great. They’re just really not good for each other.

So yeah. It’s just kind of trying to read all the Fitz/Molly stuff when you know and don’t like what it ultimately culminates in. At the same time… Bee… So I will always be conflicted lol. I just can’t separate the events of Royal Assassin from the furious disappointment I felt when I finished Fool’s Fate. Perhaps I’ll have a new Fool’s Fate experience this time that will make the next re-read a bit easier in regards to Fitz and Molly? But I won’t bet on it lol.

Anyway. It’s not as if I haven’t already said just about everything there possibly is to say about Fitz and Molly yet I also feel like I could go on about it forever. Luckily this is kind of as bad as it gets in terms of how much “screen time” they actually get (apart from Fool’s Assassin maybe? But they don’t bother me too much in that) so yay! I made it! And hopefully it’ll be a good few books before y’all have to endure my ranting about it again :)) Also hopefully this doesn’t give the impression that this read was more bad than good? It was mostly just a particular angsty chunk before they properly get together that was a bit of a slog to get through, but overall I really loved reading this book again and got a lot out of it.

Something you can’t believe you forgot

That Molly punches Fitz in the face hard enough that he bleeds and that Fitz fully intended to punch the Fool for asking if Molly was preggo before seeing he had already been beaten. I pretend I do not see it.

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

Omfg I was just about to say “huh we didn’t really get any major character intros in this book” bitch Nighteyes???? But in my defence I just. Cannot process the fact that Nighteyes is only really in 3 of 16 books he just feels omnipresent to me BUT his introduction is most definitely iconique and god I love him and he made me cry eight thousand times!

Favourite character arcs

Speaking of Nighteyes: what a glow up. He goes from angry, scared, untrusting little bb to……. Nighteyes. Like. How does one even describe the kind of person Nighteyes becomes. He’s just Nighteyes and I love him with all my fuckin heart!! He is Fitz’s constant… He is wise… He is silly… a comedic genius…… a big, open, unconditional heart. Incomparable. I can’t believe I’ve seen ppl saying they dislike/d Nighteyes……. Honey…… it’s called taste xx

Favourite quote/s

Again no tabs so it’s a bit harder to keep track but there were a few that stuck out enough to copy down. There are a lot of iconic quotes in this book that get shared a lot so I only bothered with ones I didn’t remember.

- “I wince to think of the price willingly paid for loving me.”

- “My soft, clean bed beckoned, like a soft, clean tomorrow.” (mood)

- “I looked and saw they were both made of hungers, like containers made of emptiness.”

Favourite relationships

Kettricken/Verity obviously. I was shocked by how little time they actually have together being in love before Verity leaves??? Because all I remembered was how strong their love is. But the whole journey towards that love is what makes it stand out as an actual compelling story in its own right. This is definitely one of Robin’s greatest skills as a writer; giving the minor characters depth by giving them their own relationships that grow and change and have a life of their own outside of Fitz. It makes the world feel so much more alive.

Also Burrich/Fitz in this book continues to be bittersweet, but with a lot more sweet in there than usual! They fully start out this book as a team. Burrich calling Fitz “FitzChivalry” makes me fuckin emo and idk why even. Burrich does seem to start seeing Fitz a lot more as his own person in this book which changes their dynamic in some rly nice ways. The fact that towards the end of the book Burrich even uses the wit to help Fitz is enough to make me cry tbh - and writing this has made me realise that I’m officially past any uncomplicated good times between Burrich and Fitz y’all mind if I fuckin die real quick!!

Fitz/Verity is soy pure and beautiful. Fitz and the Fool is always, always compelling and complex and tender and perfectly mysterious. But overall you’d have to say Fitz/Nighteyes, hey? They are literally meant to be, in a way so straightforward and undeniable and beautifully simple that I never really know what to say about it. Little brother!!! :’) They literally make me cry all the frickin time lol rip!

Favourite setting

There aren’t that many to choose from in this book! Ima go with the skill river bc hey, Robin’s magic systems are so unique and beautiful and the fact that the skill is written as a kind of a place is really frickin cool and deserves a shoutout.

Favourite chapter

The final chapter (not the epilogue) ummm broke my heart but it is written so beautifully, oh my god, it’s like an out of body experience. I feel like this is kind of when RotE becomes RotE - the first time it really goes to that place that is so fitting yet so unexpected, so beautiful, so tragic, so awful, so visceral. Making use of the genre to really test the limits of humanity; to see how far you can bend a person without breaking them and then refusing to turn away from the consequences. Idk man!! I don’t know how to describe it without sounding like a pretentious dick but it really is that intense and strange and overwhelming for me. There is something in that moment, when Burrich pulls Fitz’s body out of the earth and Fitz/Nighteyes is recoiling from it and deeply terrified… Something about the enormity of the existential questions raised converging with the pinpoint specificity of it all being wrapped up in the story of a character that feels so real and who you care about so deeply… It’s almost written like a horror scene, but that’s not quite the feeling. It’s just the RotE feeling; there are multiple throughout all five series, and it’s what makes these books unlike any other.

Most loved character

Fitz, Nighteyes, the Fool all had my entire heart this book. The Fool is just so sad and pathetic and literally must be protected!! I think I’m kind of obsessed with Burrich? Also I think I almost forgot how much I love Kettricken? She’s a complete badass of course but she’s also got the biggest goddamn heart like…. Who said she was allowed to be such a beautiful person???

But god, everyone. I love them all.

Most hated character

What can I say? Regal is disgostang. Wall Ass a close second.

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Shall I list just a few? :)

- Burrich screaming at Fitz through the bars of his jail cell, horrible things you can’t help but feel are at least a little bit true

- Burrich sobbing over Fitz’s dead body repeating, “You aren’t dead, you aren’t dead.”

- Fitz going to Nighteyes before everything went down on the night of the coronation and just fuckin hugging him really tight

- Fitz trying desperately to leave his broken vessel behind but not quite being able to disown his body

- The Fool being beaten

- The Fool being beaten again

- The Fool sprawled and weeping across Shrewd’s dead body

- The Fool really believing for a moment that Fitz had betrayed him and killed Shrewd

- Fitz tending the Fool’s wounds………. bitch….

- Chade giving Fitz a chance to escape with them and Fitz going to kill Serene and Justin instead

- Idk why this is even that sad but Nighteyes saying the only person he loves is Fitz!

- The entire incident with the forged ones literally tearing apart a three year old girl, which I had completely blocked out until now :)

- The fact that Fitz continues to be reminded and traumatised by this incident for the remainder of the book beCAUSE HE IS A GOOD BOY. A VERY GOOD BOY WITH A VERY GOOD HEART.

- Fitz repelling at Nighteyes to try and force their bond broken

- LITTLE BROTHER

- WOLVES HAVE NO KINGS

- High off his face Fitz calling Patience “mother” no shut the fuck up!!!!

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

- I’ve been trying for ages to decipher when the Fool started falling for Fitz, and I think I’m officially putting my money on their last interaction in AA. “I wish I had a place that was as much me as that place is you.” I mean. If someone said that to me… I’m not a slut but who knows, ya know? (I know this is more a note for the last book but I thought of it while reading this book. So shh.)

- It’s so clear to see this time how much Fitz’s sense of self and politics are affected by his time in the Mountains. He obviously feels much more inclined to their way of thinking about royalty and sacrifice and equality and returns to Buckkeep with a self-respect he’s never really had before. Weird how being among people who don’t just think of you as The Bastard will do that.

- It’s no wonder Fitz becomes so fixated on Molly; he literally has almost nothing else to occupy him and no companionship when she suddenly shows up

- It’s gross that he spies on her, obviously, but you can’t not take into account the fact that Chade has been teaching him since he was ten that this is justifiable behaviour; a reasonable way to gather information and get what you want. Fitz’s lack of social awareness goes further than him just being a little awkward; he has literally been trained to believe the only thing wrong with stalking would be getting caught.

- I’ve seen a few people talk about the fact that Regal isn’t appropriately punished as if it’s bad writing and like, while it is frustrating, it is supposed to be frustrating - it is not a plot hole. It made sense to me the first time I read it and it was even more obvious this time; Regal has the loyalty of the inland duchies. If he were to be publicly punished those dukes would rally behind him and raise hell, and Regal would no longer need to play the part of the dutiful prince. Even if Regal died a “natural” death - something I can’t see Shrewd or Verity orchestrating anyway - the inland dukes would feel that they no longer have a Farseer on their side and may, again, raise hell. It’s a delicate balance that would be outrageously difficult not to topple if you removed Regal from the equation. There is a lot more to it than I’ll bother writing here but yeah. I don’t really know how people can read this book and think that Regal retaining his life and position is some sort of lazy plot contrivance. It was all set up in the first book dude.

- Fitz and Nighteyes meeting in this book is the perfect metaphor for our need for connection versus the fear of inevitable loss. Fitz’s experience tells him that entering into a bond with an animal can only end in pain, yet he can’t resist it. In real life this is especially true with humans and our animal companions, since they almost always have a shorter lifespan than us; signing up to love them is signing up to lose them. But the same is also true of our relationships with other humans. And like Fitz, we have all had our fair share of loss and pain. We all have our reasons to be afraid of the connection we naturally crave. Sometimes we give in to the fear to the point of holding ourselves back from it entirely. That’s where Fitz is at when he meets Nighteyes. But what’s so beautiful about their arc as a metaphor is that it suggests that these connections, if we submit to them, are what keep our vital spark alive. Even when Nighteyes dies later in the series, the sentiment always remains, essentially, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” Ya boi is projecting bc it’s hard to be vulnerable and make friends as an adult, but I think the observation stands. Love and connection and vulnerability are key threads that run throughout all of Fitz’s story, but in this book it is best represented through him and Nighteyes.

- “I hoped I would not become too adept at lying to myself.” Honey, you got a big storm comin.

- Very inch resting (gay) that Fitz finds it hard to meet the Fool’s eyes. I know almost everyone does bc his eyes are weird, but I reserve the right to reach and I will absolutely NOT be accepting criticism.

- I find it interesting that Fitz says Kettricken’s wit is not strong just because she doesn’t use it exactly the way he does

- I know it’s not meant to be funny but……. The way Fitz described losing his virginity had me literally laughing out loud

- Fitz was really like “okay i better go break my bond with Nighteyes” just cos he and Molly fucked. Teenagers don’t deserve rights.

- You know what? I really, really appreciate how fucking weird these books are lol. What other author would use their magic system to have their characters accidentally intruding on each other’s awkward sex stuff? Okay, maybe a few, but they would do it to be like, edgy and sexy. Robin Hobb just does it to make you cringe so hard you lose several years off of your life.

- But seriously, even apart from the cringe stuff, these books get so strange and out there and like! That’s what magic is for! 

- Bruh. When Fitz is like “omg poor Verity…. He’ll never have what i have with Molly” I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone encapsulate the self-important delusion of teen romance so perfectly lol. Wow.

- Okay some Fitz/Fool stuff that made me lose my tiny mind. Sorry.

- Fitz literally said about the Fool “he burned too brightly” I WILL DIE.

- Fitz is always like, irritated by the Fool… yet positively delighted by his presence at the same time…… okay bitch

- Inch resting how Fitz has always been uncomfortable with the Fool getting serious. I don’t quite know how to put my thoughts on this into words so like. I’ll just put it there. Make of it what you will.

- “Sit on my clothes chest and take your shirt off…” i stopped fucking breathing noah fence

- “I ran my fingers lightly down the line of his jaw, and around his eye socket. At least no bone seemed damaged. ‘Who did this to you?’ I asked him.” my GOD this is literally textbook gay/romance. It hurts me. It physically hurts me.

- Straight from my notes: “I can’t even focus on reading this bc it’s the first time they are tending each other’s wounds and I am a homosexual!” and “the gays are quaking!! (it’s me I’m the gays)

- Okay wow! I think that’s it! Hello if you made it this far! Hope this was remotely coherent and I’m always keen to hear your thoughts on my thoughts :)

Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)