#idk I’m in some thoughts
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I am just me. I am not any labels people give me. I am just Kelly. Pls respect my wishes when I say don’t “put me in a box” I really mean it. I don’t want to deal with stigmas that come with labels and the categorization of humans. Just let people be multifaceted without telling them they are something specific. Let people be without telling them who they are.
#idk I’m in some thoughts#listen if you don’t like things I have to say you can just leave#I don’t want nor care for commentary rn#anyways ✌🏻
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I just want it known that sydney adamu is a person. a human. with human feelings which now more than ever will be annoyed. angry. frustrated. regretful. and she has every reason to be. she shouldn’t need to be defended with every argument as to why she is allowed this room for her feelings. what she is, is a human, not the obedient little girl so many people seem to think she should be. where as her white male counterparts can scream and yell and nearly tear the place apart, she can’t even be mad about it without being called “annoying” or “ungrateful”. she may scream for the first time. she may yell. she may decide that she’s fucking over it and she may have to be convinced this is still worth her time. carmy may have to fucking convince her that HE is worth her time. she cares about him, and about every other person in that damn restaurant but that doesn’t mean she has to smile about it 24/7. I don’t want to fucking hear your stupid reasons as to why a young black woman isn’t allowed to be overwhelmed into making decisions you might not personally make. literally shut the fuck up.
#I just thought about how ANNOYING some people are gonna be about her this season#and I’m already fed up#like people still talk about s1 as an excuse as to why they don’t like her it’s so weird!!#like if that’s all you have maybe… maybe it’s you idk#like if someone says they don’t like syd then immediately I don’t care about anything else they say#phew had to get that off my chest lol#the bear#I’ll tag#sydcarmy#just bc y’all always make sense#sydney adamu
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There is a nebulous jordie lives au which lives entirely in my head in which jordie recovers from the plague while Kaz is still sick. He gets up to find them food and water only to return and discover Kaz is nowhere to be found. Still recovering from the fever, he searches the barrel for days before he finally sees Kaz wandering down the staves in a sort of fugue state, soaked to the bone with a haunted look in his eyes.
Kaz won’t tell him what happened, but jordie knows it’s bad because his baby brother flinches every time he touches him, and soon enough he’s started wearing gloves, even in the height of summer.
Soon, they discover kazs gift for cards, and it keeps them fed and clothed, if not much else. Kaz is angry at jordie for losing the money, refuses to let him make any decisions. Jordie is beholden to his angry traumatized little brother because he can’t deny that he failed them the first time around.
Kaz is offered a place in his pick of the gangs, but the only one willing to take both him and his tag along older brother is the dregs. Jordie dies a little bit inside when they join up, when they take the tattoo side by side, but he’s not sure they’ll survive another winter on the streets.
And the plot of SoC generally goes on from there. Jordie tags along on the ice court, he and Jesper test kazs patience at every turn, he’s constantly offering unsolicited annoying older brother advice about Inej.
This lends itself to a really interesting exploration of Kaz and jordies relationship, what holds brothers together in the face of incredible trauma, the skewed power dynamic of Kaz becoming the breadwinner for them both at the age of nine, etc etc. But mostly, this au is a vessel for the sailing of the ultimate crack ship, which is of course, jordie/alys Van Eck.
#grishaverse#six of crows#jordie rietveld#kaz brekker#sorry. but I must speak my truth.#idk I’m hugely compelled by the idea of barrel boy jordie and sheltered housewife alys falling madly in love.#Kaz is trying to scheme them out of this whole mess and jordies like hey. do you think it would be okay to kidnap her again. like morally.#it’s just that I’ve thought of some really good jokes that I think she’d like. and Kaz (who has had negative sleep) just glares at him#also Kaz becoming uncle Kaz to Van Ecks new heir? truly the comeuppance Van Eck deserves#also yeah obviously the kaz jordie angst of this au compels me but make no mistake. it’s about jordie/alys#again. sorry.
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Heh
#posting this now before big name aus get the idea too#idk I was looking at the mangas and how they’re drawn is somewhat similar#like their tunics#link between links#lbl first#lbl fierce deity#I’ve been… having thoughts#I was gonna keep this a secret but I honestly got scared#that some big au was gonna have the same idea as me#and people would think that I was jumping a bandwagon#and like there’s nothing wrong with doing that#but idk#it’s my pride talkin#now I HAVE seen random artists playing with this idea so I’m def not the first one to think of this#but yeah#I want First to be bright and like the sun#while fierce is dark and like the moon#anyways I’m rambling#just take it
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a collection of fast scribbles of Eloise💘
#idk I just did the first one quickly#& thought it goes well with these other two as well🥹🫶#today I went to the farmer’s market & then spent my day deep cleaning#but I LOVE cleaning so much bc when it’s all sparkling clean at the end🤌🤌🤌🤌#I am at peace😌#tbh I want to do a Sebastian post too with some of my scribbles of him#Im sure there are ones I haven’t posted yet#maybe they’re kind of boring bc even in these pictures Eloise isn’t doing anything#but idk they’re fun to draw and I’m obsessed with her so IDC🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit
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I’ve got the feminine urge to douse myself in glowing (possibly radioactive) chemicals, crawl down into the NYC sewers, and wait out the next four years.
#idk what I’m talking about#but the though of doing this kept me entertained for the entire day today#just a fun thought experiment#becoming a slimy-ooze creature for funnies ya know#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2003#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt#tmnt 1987#tottmnt#tales of the tmnt#tales of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#election 2024#this is some bs
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HE FELL IN LOVE WITH HER AFTER LEARNING SHE WAS JUST A BIRD
The whole show. The whole show. We have this long running character beat of Duck beloved she, as she truly is, is unloveable and once people see her to her very core they will abandon her. But simultaneously!!!!! We have this subtle plot building of fakir, fully aware the girl has feathers, falling in love with her! And it’s so slow it doesn’t come to the forefront until the very end and AAAAAAAAA the amount of times Duck laments how no one would care about her as a bird meanwhile fakir looks at her with the most adoring eyes shut up!! Shut up literally shut up!!!! People will love you for the things you hate about yourself and you’ll have no goddamn idea because you’re so wrapped up in how YOU see yourself!!!!! HE LOVED THAT LITTLE BIRD MORE THAN SHE HATED HERSELF
#going insane I need to go to sleep#not a coherent meta post sorrt#I needed to scream#as I do#constantly#wait I have a smarter post to make in the morning#i have thoughts about needing other people to boost your low self esteem vs genuinely growing to like yourself more because of others#positive impact on you#if that makes sense#idk I’m sleepy#I may have made up a straw man#but I feel like there are people out there who are like well why should she need some guy to feel better about herself#which! yeah she should be able to feel confident with or without him#but she was at such a low point she needed a friend to pull her out#we don’t see her given time to heal#lea talks#princess tutu
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Look I am okay at drawing squid and overall pretty crap at drawing humanoids, so as practice, I look at reference pics of my friend Timaree who is a burlesque dancer and I draw mothman in the same poses as her. She’s cool with this I asked her. I think these are pretty bad but they make me laugh out loud and they just… they bring me joy idk what to tell you. The little undies kill me. Mothman in undies, idk, it’s stupid! I’m having fun, I hear that’s all that matters.
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Why is mothman wearing glow in the dark Ken-style rollerblades? Listen idk. I do these as the last thing I do at night, I’m just sitting here, entertaining myself.
#mothman#mothman’s got little undies#idk what I’m doing#I’m just having fun ok#I thought you would understand#I’m sorry it’s not a squid I’m sorry#but I’m not really sorry actually because I think some of you will laugh
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one of those nights
#small vent#lately I’ve been questioning things a lot#and this overwhelming feeling of being lonely takes over#and I question myself and my feelings and thoughts on certain things#sometimes i end up thinking im a bad person#the guilt i feel because I don’t do ship art gets overwhelming sometimes#and i end up feeling like an asshole because of it#but I genuinely just can’t (at least not for the gf fandom)#family and platonic moments are just way too important to me#which might explain a small desire wanting to have that but unable to#maybe it’s the aroaceness in me idk#it just gets really lonely sometimes in your own corner#i’m sorry#I know things like this can be annoying but I needed to vent#some more light-hearted things hopefully soon#delete later
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“the past is a grotesque animal” 8” x 10” canvas with acrylic paint, crayon, oil pastel, posca pen, & nail polish
i started this one the same day i started the last one if it wasn’t obvious by the theme of fan being the focus and an of montreal song being the inspiration,,, i just finished this one later because it’s bigger & i WANTED to use clay on this but i don’t know where my clay is….. MAYBE I’LL FIND IT NEXT TIME!!!!!! (HOPEFULLY) ALSO i know this one’s more choppy and messy and not as clean/flat colored as the last painting but that was SORT OF the point and also I REALLY DONT LIKE PAINTING LAYERS IT TAKES TOO LONG AND I AM VERY IMPATIENT … so i use crayon instead heheh
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other versions as well!!!!! this time i put the non-shiny/glittery one as a secondary variation because the quality is SO BAD AND IT SCREWED THE COLORS UP . also kind of figured out how to get the glow in the dark to show up on camera … it’s brighter in real life & i had to use SO MANY FILTERS just 4 that 2 show up…….
#inanimate insanity#ii#ii fan#fan ii#ii mephone4#mephone4 ii#ii test tube#test tube ii#ii bot#bot ii#ii egg#ii baby shimmer#ii shimmers#I GUESS#?????#osc#object shows#jacks arts#artists on tumblr#can you guys guess who one of my favourite ii characters is (impossible)#I DO HAVE SOME THOUGHT PUT INTO THIS AND THE SYMBOLISM MORE THAN THE LAST ONE!!!! both pieces relate to the egg and test tube in some way#this piece also related to mephone and goes heavy with. religious imagery i guess??? i’m not christian and i’ve never read the bible idk#2 be honest i just like drawing fan like a kicked puppy
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Penelope loves how tall Colin is. She loves nestling into his chest, feeling enveloped in his arms and being able to breathe in that musky, warm smell that’s pure Colin. She loves how when it’s cold, he’ll wrap his coat around her like a makeshift shelter against the chill. She loves how his hugs feel all-encompassing. How they feel like coming home.
Colin loves how small Penelope is. He loves the fact that he can tuck her into his side, like a tiny bundle of sweetness and warmth. He loves how she looks up at him with clear blue eyes, how he can practically feel the love emanating off her when she burrows deeper into his embrace. He loves that he feels like her eternal protector when they hug. That he could fight off an army to keep her safe in his arms.
(Hyacinth loves teasing them about their height difference, sending them ‘small gf tall bf problems’ TikToks and once, a comic about a bird sitting on top of a hippo. It makes them laugh, and then Colin kisses Penelope right on the top of her fluffy red hair, because he’s the perfect height to do it and she’s right there with him.)
#emotional hours#honestly like I always thought huge height differences were an inconvenience#and then these two came along#and now I’m like actually maybe this is the stuff poets write about#some good character development#polin#bridgerton#Penelope Featherington#Colin bridgerton#penelope bridgerton#idk if they’re married in this but sure#my writing
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Gonna start making another DPXDC writing challenge where I’ll make a bingo card generation that contains super popular tropes in the fandom.
The goal is to not write said tropes. Bingo of tropes to avoid and even more of a bonus if you do a blackout board on the tropes you didn’t do.
Reply with the most common DPxDC tropes ya can think of so I can add them to the Blackout Bingo List :)
#mostly doing lack of tropes bc doing ONLY tropes would be hard as a lot of tropes conflict with each other and would be hard to program#or find a program that’ll do what I want (like having Demon Twins and every /Batfam pairing under the sun would be hard to manage#bones speaks#dpxdc#it’ll be blackout bingo where you’re blacking out all popular tropes#then I’m gonna do one where it’s blackout bingo board of all popular tropes.. that’ll be a bit harder as some tropes conflict XD#this is to put folks in a Situation to try to make new potential tropes or ideas they never would have thought of otherwise!#if ya put folks in a box that’s what spurr people to the most creativity or whatever the qoute is#maybe it can be one fic at a time too? idk I’m working it out and rn this is just a thought
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Tazercraft mental link but make it a lil bit weird, they’ll have a conversation mostly in their heads but partially out loud which from an outside perspective is just fragments of words and half sentences, they go dead silent for hours at a time only for them to suddenly start shouting out loud, very clearly mid-argument, Pac says something but it comes out of Mike’s mouth, Mike starts speaking with his mouth and finishes speaking with Pac’s, sometimes their thoughts become so tangled that they’re unsure who a thought belongs to so they both express it at the same time like horror movie twins, do you see my vision
#fae.txt#qsmp#qsmp tazercraft#tazercraft#there was gonna be fitpac (fitpacmike??) in this post originally but I chose to cut it out bc I’m not sure if it fit lol#(pun not intended)#but anyway#I just think that if you shared a mental connection with someone like that it wouldn’t be as easy to control as some fics make it out to be#not without like#an absurd amount of meditation and mental work#which let’s be real neither of them have the patience to sit down and do for several hours a day#and it’s extremely hard to control your own thoughts as is WITHOUT being connected to someone mentally#so I think if you had a bond like this it would be a little weird but they’d definitely be used to it#thank you for coming to my ted talk#maybe I’ll write a fic about this idk yet
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mothman in the glittering night
#anthro art#furry art#mothman#bug anthro#weird art#idk man thinking of tags is hard#i haven’t used bright red. blue & yellow in so long#maybe like a year#i used to love this colourscheme#it was fun to use it again#& just draw some glowing art. i always used to make glowing art#& something inside me snapped with the last one#i wanted to experiment more & not just do what i thought would succeed on ig#i absolutely hate that site with all of my being#i’m rly considering leaving#lol ranting in tags but whateva
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Being this close to her mother, Eloise was struck by their physical similarities. As a young girl, it had been impossible to see, but now that she was a young woman they were striking. She felt as if she were looking in a mirror, but a twisted mirror: everything that was warm about her appearance was turned cold in her mother: hazel eyes to a frigid silver, unruly brown hair to straight black; her mother’s skin was somehow even more pale than Eloise’s, as if she were cut from marble. Everything soft about Eloise was made sharp in her mother, and Eloise wondered what had made her this way. She was terrified that in twenty years’ time, the two of them would be indistinguishable.
Had Elladora Black always been like this? Eloise couldn’t imagine any time when her mother might have smiled, or even huffed in quiet laughter. No moments where she had been caught staring at her husband with love and warmth in her eyes. Eloise had only ever known her as an ambitious, cold woman who was always striving towards some goal, even if it was known only to her.
Someone couldn’t spend their whole life like that, could they? Even growing up at the manor, Eloise had always had Leo to confide in and love unconditionally. Had her mother ever had something - or someone - like that?
“Soon, we will be the family we were always meant to be,” Eloise’s mother said, causing Eloise to startle out of her thoughts and stare her mother in the eyes. They were filled with longing. They were mesmerizing. Eloise shivered under the intensity, but couldn’t tear her eyes away. “Soon, we will be back on our way to being the most prominent pureblood family in Britain, with the help of you and your brother. You can’t fail us. You can’t.”
From chapter 23 of my fic, Before It Felt Like A Sin
this post is dedicated to @elliecutte the only other person who is as crazy about Elladora Black as I am😌🙏
#I’m literally obsessed with Eloise’s mom 😭😭😭#I think about her a LOT & idk if most of my thoughts will even make it to the fi#her older brother is headmaster black…(their interactions are some of my favorites to write)#but like her younger brother Sirius died when she was young her younger sister burned off the family tree#she was forced into a loveless marriage but at least she had her social life#but then to give birth to a squib…😔#plus the black family madness…#imagine seeing your sixteen year old daughter again after you left her for dead 5 years ago#and now all of a sudden she reminds you of YOURSELF at that age#grief and rage and confusion and a need to try and control the situation#in an attempt to control your own confusing feelings that shouldn’t be confusing in the first place#(all of this when the only mention of her in canon was Sirius telling Harry#that she started the Black Family tradition of beheading useless house elves😆)#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit#Elladora black
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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