#idk I just ask myself what if they are normal and have normal childhood and shit what will they become
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faunandfloraas · 21 days ago
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im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "❓tism❓" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism
yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm
#enby-peep#lol its funny for me personally bc i see a lot of stuff that reminds me of my cousins daughter........ and shes autistic#but everyone in our family constantly and my cousin especially is like Shes you. You are her. Youre so alike.#So you were autistic and that explains your childhood#and i was like Um. I dont know :) i dont know........ i refused it and then i went to the psych for my adhd#he was like 🤨 can you fill out these sheets... and it was to see if i was hitting the markers#and i was hitting them. I was hitting them out the park but i also knew exactly what to answer... not to hear it#so i just answered it... incorrectly to myself. anyway that was 3 yrs ago and i still go ???? why did you lie ??? wtf#so. maybe my seungmin commentary is sometimes a commentary on myself also#but its the same reason being sent to therapy as a teenager didnt work on me bc i knew exactly what to say to be#told what i wanted to hear- youre a mature smart young woman- youre good. id just lie to hear that even if it wasnt actually helpful#and i succeeded. Im a great actress. i didnt want help i wanted to be perceived as normal and i was for a minute. incorrectly.#and probably negatively maybe if i didnt lie i'd be different now but I did and I did it again 3 yrs ago but..... I think ive finally left#idk. my weird obsession with being 'normal' behind- i dont follow the script as much as i did before and im much more honest about how i am#this is an insane set of tags LMAO#so sorry#i dont talk about this stuff often and its An Anniversary today i accidentally used this ask as an emotional dumping ground#some people have journals (seungmin) i have tags on a tumblr post#peace and love on planet earth
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bibleofficial · 24 days ago
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i’m myself at home, me in public, & i runs it all
#stream#my psychiatrist says i may have adhd he also said ‘im not going to lie to u ur not an easy case bc there’s a lot of symptoms’#ALSKALSKLASKALSKLAKSALSLAJSLAKSLA#i was like ‘adhd ? i don’t have that’ & he asked like ‘nobody has every said that ?’ & i was like no ????? im just insane on the inside like#ALSJALSJALSJLAJSLA literally i went ‘i don’t think that ppl w ahdh online say they can’t tie their shoes & i don’t think it’s the disorder i#think they’re just refusing to tie their shoes’ then later on he asked me how do i feel about myself in one word & i went#‘like a sea urchin’ & he had no idea what that meant#like i thought it was quite obvious ????#nice to look at but u don’t want to step on 1 or that sucks also they’re sooo pretty but Need to Stay Way the Hell Over There’#he was reading the notes i sent to him bc i asked for my notes & i was like ‘ive comments’ ALSKALSKALKSALKSALSKLKSLKSLAKSL#he started laughing & it was bc of the way i phrased things & capitalized ? 😭😭😭 he told me that ALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA#it’s very fucking funny#like u just need to read it like german#he’s polish so i trust him w my life#POLES DO ANYTHING FOR YALL !!!!!!!#like even w that 1 facist 1 i still think abt him i forget his name is was smthg funny but its like yea u look it#like this psych has a normal name but he fits it#GOOD WAY#NOT A FASC#HES POLITE & FUN idk he’s soft spoken & i find that very calming#i sound like u know the sound they play when a cat fight happens in a cartoon that’s my voice#also unrelated but my accent has finally changed so much that the british assume i’ve been here since childhood …. growth like my parents#immigrated to britain …. the chameleon trait#i think it’s so funny bc like if u Are Like That then it’ll work for any language like if u speak spanish spanish & u go to mexico spanish#ur spanish accent will change to be more mexican i think language is crazy isn’t society cool#this doesn’t work for everyone like some people will retain their accents their entire lives like u know ‘bad accents’ i hate the term ‘bad#accent’ bc an accent can’t be bad it can just be strong or weak#like girl. most ppl have an accent. like some people omg if ur a professional translator u can get SOOOOO GOOD WHERE U LOSE THE ORIGINAL ITS#CRAZY#truly
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crazy-fangirl2524 · 2 years ago
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What I think Andrew and Neil’s personality/life/relationship will be like without ALL the trauma and so the “real” them without all the baggage
(Obviously just my opinion and interpretation)
Andrew:
He would still be a super protective person especially as those he views as family (nicky, Aaron, his parents (??), friends he knows he can trust)
Would still have gone through a goth/grunge phrase
His sweet tooth is still atrocious
The type of guy to stop people from physically bullying others (verbally he does not care if the person can’t take it its a them problem)
Tons of piercings everywhere
Doesn’t try in school because he doesn’t have to with his eidetic memory yet he is only second right behind Aaron
No one is shocked that he is gay
I can see him studying things like philosophy literature classics history or just any of the intellectual degrees (he will do double major)
Definitely got scholarships for any universities he applied to (same as Aaron)
Chooses to go to the university that Aaron chooses (“Andrew ucla’s criminology is the best in the whole world why are you choosing John Hopkins” “John Hopkins’s literature and classics is the best in the world” “Andrew-“)
Doesn’t have a lot of people he considers as friends but he does have a select fews and he is not really in a friend group more like some scattered friends but he hoard like gold
Most likely to become a university professor ? Or a baker or whatever he wants and he will be so successful in it because he will put his heart and soul into it
Had a few flings here and there (maybe one or two relationships but no one can ever be on par with him) until he meets Neil (because in every universe they are still meant to be)
Neil:
Still skeptical and doesn’t trust easily
Those he considers as friends he holds on so tight he will literally die and kill for them
Still got a smart mouth that gets him in trouble
Troublemaker in school and people either love or hate him theres no in between
Math nerd
Would have been valedictorian but he doesn’t pay attention in class and skip classes if his friends ask him to
He will be in a friend group that everyone will ride and die for each other and is the friend group that everyone is envious of because they know it is for life even if they all separate in university
Obviously he will get a maths degree
Becomes mathematician or whatever it is smart people becomes in the future
Obviously he will be successful as well
Even in university he will somehow find a friend group and once again its the best people in the world for him and now he got THREE families (or however many because everywhere he goes this attractive troublemaker just attracts and makes his own found family without meaning to)
Throughout highschool or university or work (until he meets Andrew) he would have never dated because he genuinely does not get the point and no one ever interests him that way (until he meets Andrew)
Andreil:
No matter how they meet whether its highschool or in university or meet cute or meet ugly or whatever its always Andrew that falls first and finds the troublemaker attractive and neil is just the oblivious guy
But Neil is always the one that falls harder
Its always slowburn and kills their families and friends and makes everyone wants to just kill them
Their communication skills are what every couple wishes they have
Andrew still gives neil so much nicknames
Their personality will always complement each other and Neil’s fire will always spark’s Andrew’s interest and Andrew’s steady presence will always hold up whatever Neil has
The soul deep understanding will always be there
In any universe they will still inevitably end up together because their souls are made for each other
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dhampir-dyke · 1 year ago
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wurghrgh
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adragonsfriend · 5 months ago
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Use this one trick to instantly fix all childhood trauma (Jedi Masters don’t want you to know this)!!!!!
That is what every “if Obi-Wan had just— *adds one extra scene to canon* —then Anakin would’ve had perfect mental health and never listened to Palpatine at all,” sounds like to me. Look I am not an expert on any kind of psychology at all let alone early childhood development but,
It is possible to do your very best to help or raise someone and still have bad or imperfect outcomes, especially when you have someone actively, secretly working against you (cough cough Sith Lord of the month cough), (for many reasons, but in this case particularly), because unravelling the mindset built in early childhood is hard, actually.
Coming at this from the “raised in a safe and loving environment” side of things, it took me years to figure out and internalize that my friends whose parents weren’t as great as mine were functioning in an entirely different landscape when it came to their interactions with adults.
Many years ago when I was in middle school a friend (acquaintance? idk I think most people thought I was annoying) told me that her ankle kept giving out and causing her pain. I asked if she'd told her parents so she could rest or go to the doctor. She told me she had, but her mother either hadn't listened or refused to help. My (approximate) responses?
"So it's not actually that bad then?"
"You should tell her again."
"Are you sure you explained it right?"
The only explanation I could comprehend at the time was that there must have been some unclear communication about the situation or its severity--if her mother had understood she was in pain, she couldn't possibly have just not done anything about it? Adults are responsible, caring, etcetera! They wouldn't do that?!
With more experience, I've come to understand better, and learned to respond in kinder, more helpful ways, but the shift in mindset was not and is not intuitive.
And I had the luxury of figuring all that out whilst being safe myself. Coming from the other direction, being in danger and trying to figure out why other people act like the world is safe? I can't say for sure, but I imagine it’s a lot more complicated.
Point with regard to Star Wars being, it really is harder for Anakin, coming in later, to acclimate to the Jedi ways and thought processes than it is for his peers who grew up in the safe environment of the Temple. And whatever arguments people want to have about how much psychology and therapy exist in the Star Wars universe, or how much “Jedi just do cognitive behavioral therapy” (not totally inaccurate, but reductive on several levels), no matter what the answers to those questions, it will still be harder for Anakin.
There is a reason the council changes its mind on training him only after he is suddenly famous and the Sith are proven to be back. When Anakin was not in significant danger of being snatched up by someone else, it was genuinely probably the easier and safer option—for him and everyone else—for him to live a different life.
The Jedi are not necessarily fully prepared for a child with Anakin's history, and, there is nothing bad about living an ordinary life. Anakin would not have been somehow unforgivably robbed by living life as a mechanic or an engineer or something, rather than being a Jedi.
Anakin is a victim of many things in his life—Sidious, Watto, Gardulla, Tatooine’s everything, his own conscious choices—but he is not a victim of malice, incompetence, or idiocy by the Jedi just because they couldn't—in only a decade or so—help him fully and perfectly unravel the mindset he developed in his early childhood. If there was any lack of qualification on their part, it was one they were aware of—but which was outweighed by the danger of little Anakin getting kidnapped out of normal-kid elementary school.
Being brought up in and around slavery absolutely made him more vulnerable to Sidous and became the basis of their dynamic as master and apprentice. Acting like the trauma that affects his mindset and actions for his entire life can be obliterated just by making minimal changes to the plot is wild to me.
And don’t get me wrong, fics and headcanons can do whatever they want, not everyone wants or is trying to write a deep psychological character study (also fanfic and even fiction in general cannot and should not be held to any standard of realism if it's not serving the story and the author)—simple fix-it’s (my love) are fun and an excellent short-cut to other things like happiness and fluff (my other loves)—but don’t act serious about the idea that adding one conversation about his feelings or one extra explanation about Jedi philosophy would automatically lead to Anakin having perfect mental health outcomes and always making good decisions.
Disclaimer (if the ones throughout weren't enough) : please go forth and do whatever you want. the moral of this post is actually just that (1) you won’t convince me, (2) I wanted to talk about this, (3) the clickbait title was too funny not to post, (4) i literally can't open my mouth without phrasing things like i'm in the middle of a heated debate, and (5) i continue to not be an expert in early childhood development—my evidence is very literally anecdotal
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broooooo · 1 year ago
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Dronehood
____________________
In today's world , the world has been slowly taken over by drones, whether it was by force, choice or persuasion, men are being converted, covered in a shiny black latex, a second skin, a well built muscled body, constantly aroused and hard. The mind does seem to remain keeping the hosts personality, but there's a big focus of obeying the master and the pleasure of dronehood
At first the world was scared, but as the drone army expanded, it slowly became normal, as if it's a rite of passage for teenage, adult men. It's even become a kind of entertainment to watch a conversion happen, could inspire others , or worn them.
Then there's me
I am Aaron, 21, regular build, living in an apartment, IV never been opposed to the drone movement. It's interesting to watch.
Deep down I wouldn't mind becoming a drone myself, it genuinely sounds fun.
Iv watched my childhood friend, Jason, become one before my eyes, he had wanted it for a while, and decided to get a slow conversion, he wanted to experience all the feelings grow and build.
The conversion itself is simple, intercourse with a drone, you may or may not include leather articles of clothing such as gloves or boots for extra pleasure. When it's done, the new drone is given a serial number name, but can keep their human name for interactions with others, plus they can take off their head mask for easy identification.
I myself don't leave my room a lot, i just watch from my TV or the window, hearing it through my walls too at times. Jason's my roommate, but he's never home, he's busy converting others or just hanging out with other drones.
Somewhat makes me jealous, before his conversion , we were the same, locked in your rooms not doing much, it honestly is a better life for him, and I'm happy,
It's possible to request a drone conversion, many have done it, Idk why I haven't done it yet, I guess I want to keep my peace for a little while, but ik at some point it will get too much to bear and then I will know I'm ready.
_________________
It was a normal day for me, watching my conversions , and contemplating life. When suddenly I hear the front door open, I rush out to see him, Jason standing in the door way, his heavy leather boots stomping on the floor as he closes the door. He looks at me, I haven't seen his have a week's.
JASON!?* ITS been so long, how.. have you been?*
He smiles and embraces me in a hug
*Iv been well, I missed you*
My face goes flush red, as I hug him back.
His latex skin is soft and shiny , the feel of hard muscles, it makes my heart race.
We pull away and I ask*
What are you doing here Jason?* Don't you have missions ?*
Jason laughs and says * well I do live here, plus even drones need rest.*
I answer back"
Well that makes sense , yeah*
Jason goes sit on the couch to watch TV.
*mind getting me a sparkling lemon water Aaron?.
Oh? Ok sure , I'll make us both one *
I go the kitchen, fill two cups with soda and prepare to cut lemons, during all this my mind races with thoughts, the sudden appearance of Jason and the feeling of his skin, it felt great. I feel hot, almost dreaming of it
As I'm cutting lemons the knife slips and cuts my hand, breaking me out of my dream like state
GAH*
Jason turns and runs up to me concerned
Are you ok?*
I'm fine just cut my self.
I go to clean up the blood and find a bandage, but problem, we where out of bandages
*darn we're out of bandaids.
Well I have a suggestion*
I turn around to see Jason's bear hand outstretched holding a latex glove.
You took it off? Isn't that yours?
Don't worry, I get a new one, my body can create it naturally.
I look at the glove as I hold it, it's soft,
The glove has a healing effect to it, it protects us drones from major injuries.
Huh, convenient , as I smile* thanks
I put the glove over my disinfected hand, I move my fingers about feeling it, it was soft, silky and comfortable.
So this is how it feels?* I say
Yeah, it's quite the sensation isn't it?,
Very much so, no wonder many ppl become drones.
Jason helps me finish the drinks and we go sit on the couch together.
Have you thought about dronehood much Aaron?
I turn to him and choke a little ,
Have I thought about it? It's ALL I can think about xd* I say with laughter, I observe it happen from my room, since your never hear.
And before you ask, no, I don't think I'm ready yet.
Jason looks into this drink and back up to me, he leans a hand over to touch my shoulder,
He smiles and says, * when you're ready then, no force, I want you to enjoy it as much as possible.
I peek up, *I KNEW IT, you planned this, laughing.
You were always a trickster you, we both laugh
Well Aaron , I. Do hope you enjoy that glove, it will help you decide, I'm sure of it.
I turn to look out the window and smiles
*thanks, i-, will definitely have an answer soon I'm sure.
___________
Afterwards we hang out the rest of day, it was a fun reunion, full of talk and catching up untill sun down
We both go to bed , crashing instantly as I'd been so tired after today.
The next day Jason and I bid farewell as he leaves for a mission.
I'm left alone and go to my room , sitting on my bedroom couch
_____
Hm, planed or not, I'm happy I have this glove. I turn on the TV to watch some more conversions
I feel hot and steamy imagining it, before I know it I'm rubbing my bulge with the gloved hand , my dick getting erect from what pleasure I can muster,
And idea popped into my head, I head over to Jason's room, and my mind was validated when I saw them, an extra pair of leather boots,
*planned this too Jason? Well idc, thanks*
We happen to be the same size, even so is force my feet into them, the boots go up to my kne, tall and shiny, sliding my feet in, my heart and mind are racing , my dick is rock hard , the sensations are over powering, I lace them up tight, whist I remove my clothing.
I stand up to look to the mirror, naked with only a latex glove and leather boots on, the weight of the boots and the tightness, protecting me, I go to my bed,I start to edge off slowly, aroused to high heavens and enjoying it all. Whilst the sounds of conversions from the TV hum in the background.
I never realized it but the dream like state I was in of edging and leaking lasted 3 days, I was covered in pre, drooling and gooing out, the latex glove and boots has started to spread up my legs and arm, then came Jason, he stood in my bedroom doorway, smiling, he comes over and jumps on top of me, squeezing my nipples hard
I moan hard and leak over me
*ready Aaron?*
Laughing through the intense pleasure ,
*hehe yeah. Convert me friend* I'm ready*
Jason's glowing purple eyes look into mine,
___________
Jason's hard latex dick at the ready, and with a passionate kiss it commences, what felt like a. Eternity, lasted a week of slow intense sex and conversion. As I expected it all
By the end of it, we and the bed were wet in pre, drool and juices, through the days, the latex nanites from Jason's dick slowly transformed my body, spreading the latex all over whist giving my muscle to fit, the climax of the conversion was then.
Jason fucking my tight ass, we both prepared for it , cum
It was a screech of intense pleasure, black nantite filled cum sprayed in ropes out our dicks, lasting 69 minutes of constant cumming, fucking and kissing, and the cum pool around us and soak back up into our bodies, , strengthening the conversion.
When it was all over , we lay there together tired and in love
My eyes start to glow to an intense blue. My mind was reshaped and ready,
Looking to Jason's eyes I say.
* I am ready to obey , ready to spread , ready to cum alongside you *
Jason smiles and kisses me, *ik.. drone 6923..*
My eyes flash, * yes... My new name.. thank you..
Drone 8696..*
___________
In the end we two drones, continued to make out intensely, passionately, never running out of cum
Untill the next mission is handed to us, and. I join Jason on my first crusade, We will enjoy each other forever.
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: D
I enjoyed this one , genuinely think it's one of my best works yet
Hope you enjoy it, fellow drones
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months ago
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aita for avoiding my husband on purpose, like, all the time? my husband (m36) and i (f34) have been married for almost 10 years (anniversary in a few months). we have 3 kids (m10, f8, f1) and he works full time while i stay at home. even before we got married i didnt really have friends other than him, and i always had a hard time finding excuses to get out of the house. frequently, he gets to hang out with his buddies who he also works with, and ever since we had kids he's always going out and leaving me home alone even when hes not at work just to idk. hang out at bars and pretend we don't exist. well lately ive been making time for myself to go out when the kids are at school (my youngest is pretty well behaved so i just take her with me instead of paying a babysitter) and i had managed to get kinda friendly with some of the wives of my husbands coworkers (theyre all members of the same union, so we see each other at those functions every once in awhile). i thought it was all going well and i was having fun and enjoying getting to be social for once, but about 2 weeks ago, the whole family was invited out for lunch (a picnic type thing) with his buddies from work's families. all was going well and for the most part even the kids were having fun, but then my husband got absolutely fucking trashed for no reason. none of the other guys were acting like that, and we've had conversations about him not doing that sort of thing, but he NEVER listens. he's always acting like this, but usually i dont have to see when its in public. well he embarrassed me so fucking much. he was trying to start fights, messing up his clothes, and wouldn't listen to me at all. just in his own world as always. i should've known because its been a decade of this, but i could have sworn it wasn't this bad before. he wasn't like this when we dated you know? so we got home and i was just. grossed out and annoyed. i slept on the couch and pretty much ever since then, i haven't been talking to him. i got a text from one of the ladies saying that a wednesday hangout thing i had been invited to had been canceled, but i pretty much KNOW 100% that it wasn't, and that they just don't want to be associated with me now. the kids don't really seem bothered by the tension around the house (i think its sort of normal to them since hes frequently not around anyways). i wouldn't be near as annoyed if there wasn't a part of my brain telling me "he did it on purpose". i know that's just how he acts but i could SWEAR its almost like he just doesnt want me to have friends. he doesn't want to hear about it, he just wants me THERE at home, watching the kids and existing solely for his convenience. i used to consider divorce, before we had our youngest. but i haven't had a job since high school, and i couldnt put the burden of asking for help on my sisters. they hate him, but i couldnt ask them for that support. and i dont even know what the kids would think, i cant do that to them. but yesterday, my husband brought it up (cornered me in our room pretty much) and asked why i was ignoring him. what if he really didnt know why? i TOLD him, but its like he forgot or just expects me to be "over it" by now. all i wanted was just this one thing, to HAVE FRIENDS, have that time away from being just "mom" and do what i want. he gets to do that so why cant i? or AT LEAST he could put some more effort into being around and doing things as a family? but i still wonder if im being the asshole, for giving him the cold shoulder for this long. he didnt have a happy childhood or good examples for parents so maybe he just thinks this is normal? i never asked because i assumed he knew it wasn't. and he does seem like, disappointed that i wont come to bed. maybe ive been driving him off and that's why he doesnt like to come home? idk at this point, im at a loss. aita?
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sanjisleggy · 27 days ago
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no more hiding (smoker x reader)
req: Hi!!! Could you maybe do a Smoker x pirate reader. Like trying to hide the relationship and stuff from the other Marines and her pirate crew. (Whichever crew you want) idk I just want cute pirate x Marine stuff maybe little angsty if you want but need cute things
a/n: omg i’ve been thinking about this request for the past three (3) days and i might have gotten very carried away with the angst at the start, istg i couldn’t help myself ajskdhjakshja i hope the subsequent fluff in the flashbacks and ending was enough to make up for it!! ;;0;; i legit had a lot more angst planned but i cut it out bc the request asked for more fluffy stuff :’D
contents: suggestive themes (nothing explicit though, idk why i wrote Smoker and reader so h0rny for each other but alas it is what is), angst to fluff, mentions of wounds and stitching of said wounds
wc. 2.3k
i.
Smoker can’t help the tinge of bitterness that gathers at the back of his throat, the taste so strong that not even his usual nightly cigars can chase away the smell. it’s a rather rare occurrence, only really happening when he gets anxious and it’s been a long time since anxiety overrode every other emotion in his body in such a way.
though the experience is slightly uncomfortable, he supposes it can’t really be helped since it involves you; his childhood friend (the only one, in fact), his closest companion and the love of his life. 
the Vice Admiral wonders what’s taking you so long. you always show up at his doorstep roughly half an hour after he’s sent out a trail of smoke to go look for you—the signal you’ve used since you were kids. back then it was for innocent hangouts beyond curfew and now it’s for late night meetings that often end with either one of you on top of the other, tangled in his bedsheets.
as much as Smoker would like to think about your latest escapade, his nerves are starting to get the better of him and his mind begins to race. 
ii. 
“you joined Tomohana’s crew?! what’s the matter with you?” his voice cracked slightly near the end of his sentence. you normally would’ve made fun of him for it but the air between him and you was a bit too tense for jokes like that. 
“ i know you know they’re not like normal pirates,” you replied as calmly as you could considering your best friend was yelling at you. “everyone in Loguetown loves him and his crew, they’re always fighting off rowdy pirates to protect the neighbouring islands.”
”that should be the Marines’ job.”
”exactly! but they don’t really do that a lot, do they?” you could tell you’d made a point so good even Smoker couldn’t rebut. “with Vice Admiral Gokiburi around, all they do is make our lives miserable.”
”it won’t be that way for long and you know that.” 
“oh please, you just got promoted a month ago and you’ve been with the Marines for how many years now?” he glared down at you but even his deep scowl wasn’t enough to hide the redness in his cheeks. “we’ll be in our mid-thirties before you take his place.”
”so?” Smoker snapped, fists clenched at his sides as hints of white smoke trailed out of the corners of his mouth. “at least i’ll be makin’ an actual difference! unlike you.” the tone of his voice dropped to an eerily calm albeit deep one. 
“what about me?” you challenged before you could help it. you knew from experience that adding fuel to the fire was not gonna end pretty but in that moment, you needed to know what he meant.
iii. 
why now? why am i remembering this now?
Smoker finds himself outside your door at midnight. the radio silence from you had been too much to bear and he just needs to know if you’re okay; and yet there he stands, fist halfway to making contact with your door when the bitter memory of your most painful fight decides it’s time to claw its way into the forefront of his mind.
after that incident,
after i called you all those awful things
you stopped talking to him for five years.
iv. 
it had been Tomohana of all people who’d told you about Smoker that day. he didn’t provide many details but it was enough for you to show up at his front door after years of no contact. after knocking, you could hear the sound of furniture being toppled over and heavy, unstable footsteps before the door swung open.
Smoker’s eyes widened upon seeing your face and he became so still that one of his cigars slipped out from between his teeth, hitting the ground unceremoniously between your feet and his. without saying a word, he stepped aside to let you in.
amidst the countless empty bottles of varying types of alcohol and a handful of presents you presumed were from his subordinates, the two of you sat in silence. 
“i heard you got promoted,” you said suddenly, after almost ten minutes of nothing. “congrats.” as though surprised at hearing your voice, Smoker cleared his throat before responding.
”thanks.” he paused for a few seconds. “i’m Vice Admiral now.”
”i know.” you offered him a small smile. “you don’t seem very happy about achieving your childhood dream though.”
”i…” he clenched his teeth, his already flushed face turning even redder from something other than alcohol. “i wish i could’ve celebrated with you, is all.” his eyes turned down to stare at his feet. for a man so huge, he looked awfully small. “i miss you. i’m sorry i said those things all those years ago. i didn’t mean any of it.”
hot tears began to stream down your face before you could even fully process what he was saying. 
“why’d it take you so long then?” you replied with a sniffle—the sound seemingly triggering something in the man as his head snapped back up to look at you. “all this time—” you had to pause to take in a deep, shaky breath “—i thought you hated me.”
upon your admission, the one and only Smoker, a Vice Admiral of the mighty Marines, slid off his seat to kneel before you. although he was drunk, at that moment he was the most sober he’d ever been in his life.
”i could never hate you, doll.” he grabbed your hands in an uncharacteristically soft manner before bringing them up to his lips. your heart pounded so violently within the confines of your chest, you wondered if he could hear it. “i’ve loved you ever since we were kids.” 
speechless, all you could really do was stare at him with your mouth parted.
”please let me make it up to you, (Y/N),” Smoker pleaded with a pitiful look in his usually hardened eyes. you briefly wondered what his subordinates would think if they saw him like that, especially the girl with the spectacles who seemed to admire him so much. he looked so little like the aggressive, no-nonsense Marine the locals now knew him as and so much like the Smoker from when you were just children. 
you realised, in that moment, how much you’d missed him, too.
v.
it’s taking all he’s got not to show his anger and fear as the Vice Admiral watches you stitch yourself back together in quite the literal sense. he’s clenching his fists so hard he can feel his nails dig into the meat of his palms, he won’t be surprised if he draws blood.
the white-haired man isn’t quite sure what exactly he’s angry at: you? your crew and Tomohana for letting you go home wounded to patch yourself up? even maybe himself?
before Smoker can make his decision, he’s torn away from his own thoughts by the sound of a pained whine being forced through your gritted teeth. wordlessly, he closes the gap between him and you and kneels by your feet. carefully, he finishes up the final stitches as your hand grips his shoulder tightly to cope with the pain. 
unknowingly, his Devil Fruit power kicks in, causing a whisp of white smoke to curl itself around your face and body. the familiar cooling sensation of his smoke caressing your skin soothes the stinging pain of your open wounds and the aches in your tired joints. 
you already know he’s mad, not just at you for getting hurt once again but at everything else, as well. it’s just the kind of guy Smoker is: always angry or uptight over something. and yet, he ties off the final stitch so carefully and when he’s done, he simply sighs before resting his cheek atop your thigh as he tenderly runs his palm up and down your bare leg, as if trying to remind himself that you’re still there.
from the way he exhales his following breath, you can tell he wants to say something.
vi.
“leave the crew,” he said suddenly, breaking through the comfortable silence that had befallen the two of you after an evening of post-dinner cuddling. his hand reaching up to rub the back of your neck as you rested your head on his bare chest. the night was hot and humid but neither of you cared how sticky your skin felt pressed against his, you’d both grown up in this weather after all. “i make more than enough berry for us to live comfortably.”
”you know that’s not what i’m worried about, love,” you replied with a chuckle as you adjusted your position by Smoker’s side to bury your face into the crook of his neck. the Vice Admiral’s chest rumbled in a way not unlike a cat’s purring as he pulled you closer, pressing his lips to the crown of your head. “the crew helps to protect a lot of the locals from the neighbouring islands and i wanna make sure there’s enough manpower before i consider quitting.” 
“can’t believe i’m sayin’ this but i hope a hundred of new recruits show up at that bastard Tomohana’s doorstop first thing tomorrow,” the man beside you sighed, only half-joking, before he rolled his body over yours without warning.
”hey!” you protested, wiggling under his weight. he chuckled as he trapped you beneath him, pressing kisses all over your face.
”tell him to hurry up and gather more crewmates already, doll,” Smoker murmured against your skin, “it’s not like they’re doin’ anything illegal anyway so why the secrecy, hmm? tryin’ to keep my girl away from me?”
”it’s not like that and you know it.” you hugged his head to your chest with both arms, smile growing even wider when you felt his muscles relax from your touch. “besides, they’d have to know about us to begin with.” 
“i’m tired of sneakin’ around,” he mumbled into your chest, muffling his words ever so slightly. “the cadets can get so nosy sometimes, it pisses me off.” Smoker admitted whilst rubbing your sides tenderly. “‘sides, all this hiding makes it feel like you’re some dirty secret.”
vii.
before he can say anything, you speak your mind first.
”i’m done hiding. i quit the crew earlier today.” Smoker’s head snaps up from your lap for his widened eyes to meet yours. staring back down at him with a small smile on your face, you cup his face with your right hand, feeling the stubble on his skin when he nuzzles into your touch. “some cocky new recruit challenged me for my position afterward. he was a pretty good fighter but i beat the shit out of him.”
”that’s my girl.” Smoker says with a chuckle, his hand giving your calf a light squeeze as he stares at you for a good few seconds. “so you’re finally free?” he asks with a glimmer in his eye. 
”you say that as if i was held hostage or something.”
”can’t help it, doll. that’s pretty much what it felt like for the past three years.” he presses yet another kiss to your bare thigh. “so… move in with me?”
”tomorrow,” you reply simply but definitively, much to his pleasure. “but first,” you gesture for him to stand up before holding out your arms in his direction, “carry me to bed.”
Smoker raises an eyebrow at your request though he can’t help the smile on his face. he wonders how ridiculous he must look, like some lovesick fool.
”please?” you pout and within seconds, you’re swept into his arms bridal style. you let out a soft yelp of surprise despite how carefully he’d picked you up. “i’m okay, you didn’t hurt me.” you’re quick to reassure him when a look of worry washed over his face from the sound you just made. you can feel his shoulders relax in response.
“bath first, then bed.” he states simply, already walking towards your bathroom.
”together?” you grin up at him, tracing a finger down his chest. a redness blooms across Smoker’s rugged face as he shoots you a frown that looks more silly than intimidating. he doesn’t even grace you with a verbal answer, deeming it too ridiculous to even acknowledge fully.
of course he’s going to join you. the day he says no to such a request is the day hell freezes over.
viii.
the night air feels more cooling than usual, you realise as you snuggle closer to your beloved, trying to steal as much of his body heat as you possibly can. using his bicep as a pillow with your head nuzzled into the crook of his neck, you hug him like a koala to a tree: your arms around his middle and your legs locked around his right thigh. admittedly it’s not the most comfortable position for Smoker but he’ll die before he complains about it. 
for the first time he’ll be able to sleep the night at your place and wake up by your side under the morning sun. no longer will either of you have to rise before dawn breaks to sneak back home, pretend the other has nothing to do with you until the moon takes the sun’s place and his smoke trail guides you back to him. 
Smoker is careful not to touch your stitches as he turns towards you slightly to pull you closer. he runs his hands over all the bare skin of yours he can reach, leaving goose bumps in his fingers’ wake, his heart fluttering when you giggle and wriggle your body in response.
i can’t wait to come home to you every night and see you every morning.
although it’s been a long day, neither of you get much sleep that night. 
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bebx · 1 year ago
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more thoughts regarding Henry Creel’s time at Hawkins Lab because I’m so (not) normal about that guy.
okay, so do you guys remember when Doctor Brenner rewarded Two with a candy when he did good during the lesson?
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now don’t mind me imagining him giving young Henry a candy, when Henry was the only kid there, as a reward to try to urge him into complying / into trying to do good. I’m not saying candy absolutely worked for Henry, but after all he was still a kid. and I don’t think Virginia was the kind of parents who allowed her kids to have candy. so idk dude, imagine young Henry not wanting to give in and accept Brenner’s so called gift before he gave in and did what Brenner wanted in the end, because I bet, at the beginning, Brenner gave or tried to give Henry candy without Henry having to do anything for it, and once Henry — a kid, mind you — got a taste of candy and asked for more, Brenner said he had to do something to earn it first.
just imagine Henry wanting candy. imagine Henry agreeing to be good for Brenner because he just wanted the candy. imagine candy being the only “normal” thing Henry had during his childhood. imagine Henry, now as an adult, still having a secret longing / nostalgia for something as simple, as childlike as candy.
@twihs-blog I think I made myself cry…
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rustybutterknife · 20 days ago
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Y’all, I’m ngl being harassed by people from Reddit has low-key taken a toll on me. Maybe it’s just bc I’m a bit too drunk but I’m dwelling on this shit a lot rn.
I know that I make/reblog a fair amount of content on DID, but I honestly still question myself.
Like yes, my discovery of a 6 year old alter was completely unexpected and involuntary. And yes, I was in heavy denial for a year afterwards and chalked my switching up to “age regression.”
And yes, I still find myself feeling shame about being plural (especially when it comes to my fictives).
And yes, I went through various forms of trauma throughout the course of my childhood (sexual, emotional, physical, having a parent in addiction, etc)
And yes, I experience time loss and amnesia (just ask my partner how many times I’ve made him rewatch the same videos) and find myself making decisions I normally wouldn’t and involuntary speaking in different voices and lack an emotional connection to a lot of my memories.
But like what if I’m faking it? I know faking is something that’s done voluntarily but what if it’s something I’m doing and just not realizing?
Idk, social media has kinda just been messing with my head lately.
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mrstellmeafuckingsecret · 9 days ago
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Hi! I read your post on divorced tedromeda and I wanted to ask more. In this AU, would they have had Nymphadora? If so, how do you think it would've affected Dora?
yes !! they have dora like irl and because andromeda is pregnant, she stops drinking and it's super hard but she tries yk !! things are really good between them in pregnancy because yeah meda's difficult but now she has this whole plan ahead of her and there isn't a fear of uncertainty/ted leaving her (insecurity -> loneliness/sadness -> drinking -> anger -> throwing hexes turns into insecurity -> loneliness/sadness -> forced to talk about it because her feelings are Too Big -> ted reassuring her -> happy ending!!) so they can be semi-normal, and now andromeda isn't lonely anymore and she's never alone and she has to be better and get help for her daughter and it's just great <33 and dora's born and andromeda adores her daughter and she wants to give her the childhood she herself never had and picks out her name with so much love and she loves these little changes she has . once she has those better in control she puts dora in a muggle school and all the extra classes look so fun and she puts her in all of them !! ted keeps saying it's too much which is bullshit, these things are fun and anyway, she had a way busier schedule even when she was six !!
andromeda's drinking also comes back, she thinks she'll be okay drinking occasionally but when dora's around one meda's so tired and ted can't calm her down and she needs a drink !! and it just becomes more and more frequent...
the first time she wants to throw a plate at dora instead of ted is when dora's four, and she's so so scared she files a divorce and begs ted to take dora where she'll be far away from her mother, but ted loves meda and he can't ever let her go, he can't dream of being away from her. they get a divorce but they're only fifteen minutes away from andromeda, and dora barely knows what's going on because, well, she's four !
i hc dora grew up neglected, actually. not horribly, but her mother was ill and her father needed to take care of his wife before his kid - they loved their daughter but they wanted her to do different things, so instead she had the expectations of both and ended up fulfilling none.
i do think she hated her parents - namely her mother - for a lot of her childhood, but i think as she grew up, when she was fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, she started to understand her more yk ? she never fully forgave her for tainting her childhood that much, or for ruining her father, but she understood why she did what she did and how she didn't have a choice, or how it wasn't her fault
when ted died i think was when dora saw andromeda as andromeda and not just her mother, it was when she saw andromeda broke down and be sad not just angry when she saw oh. that's not just my dad that died but the man she loves. loved. she can see why she was always second to his father because she can see how much it hurts seeing andromeda upset, she thinks i'd be second to myself too, to take my mother's pain away. idk. i love andromeda.
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literaila · 6 months ago
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Heyy so I've readed your fanfic A Typical Family and I can't stop re reading it because, well, let's just say that the manga is not at it's finest (Prettysureyouknowwhatimean.) and your fanfic is doing a great job helping me with my mental stability caused by Gege Akutami 😀 so thank you!
I love everything, I sure as hell needed that fluff. But one of the things I like the most is actually y/n's past, I like that you didn't went into details about what happened to her and it was just mentioned like two or three times. I like that a lot because it makes the character more intriguing and you give the reader the posibility of being as creative as possible when it comes to her past, I atleast came up with a few ideas of how she used to live.
But after Chapter 29 I couldn't help myself but wonder what really happened to y/n with her family during her youth. In details. Because I felt that there was A LOT going on-
So yeah, that's why I searched for you in tumblr, fell in love with you after scrolling down your account for a bit (which means hours) and decided to ask you if you could specify more about her past? What happened to her? How was her daily life living in a place where she was missunderstood by her own parents? How did her parents treated her? Did she always felt lonely? Is that why she's so insecure when she became a mother? I REALLY am intrigued.
Thanks again for everything and let's hope to find that annoying cat's hideout 😄🔪
(idoindeedunderstandexactlywhatyoumean)
ah. my dear reader.
she started as just an archetype of sorts, i suppose. like a person in my head but not enough of a person to interfere with the story in any particular way
the focus was abandonment issues so that satoru/suguru leaving could actually have some purpose.
but as i’m sure everyone is well aware—i don’t do simplicity, and i wholeheartedly believe that each and every character (in any media) should be a little… messed up? hurt? battling their own demons??
i think about things in the ways that it’ll improve or harm a story. and satoru leaving reader after being left by everyone else—that’s what i latched on to originally
(actually originally originally it was just a one-shot of megumi calling reader mom and being upset about it… ah how things change)
so i continued with that idea and im not sure when exactly i decided that her parents were awful, but they were. it made it easier for her to avoid talking to satoru about any issues, and easier to understand why she would care so much about these kids and them growing up with (no offense to gojo) a child for a father.
and at the beginning you can tell (or maybe only i can idk) that she is less self conscious about herself, and more worried about the kids. how are they going to react to this? how can a recently graduated person become a mother in under an hour? so it’s not that she’s insecure because she didn’t have a good childhood—that’s just how she is. too thoughtful, a bit anxious.
(mostly just to tie in satoru and readers relationship because i figured they’d need some balancing somewhere)
but then as the characters become more of their own, i needed more from her character. why does she care about these kids so much beyond just having morals? why do they trust her almost immediately?
and this began in the part where she’s consoling tsumiki—because i wanted to give baby a moment sorry not sorry. suddenly she missed her estranged parents and understood how sad miki felt. how much losing your mother matters.
but i’ve always made it fairly clear that tsumiki is just trusting. so easy one there.
but with megumi—reader is more worried that satoru is going to raise him under his wing. and obviously, that’s a horrible decision. satoru is barely a normal teenager to reader so… yeah she doesn’t trust him with megumi. who is obviously impressionable and easy to persuade.
plus the boy is rough for a six year old—needs a gentler hand than some people (ahem, satoru) can give him.
but unlike tsumiki, megumi was going to take time. so instead of a moment they have lots of little things—like the fact that she can read his emotions even when he’s trying to close them off, or that she watches him interact with both tsumiki and satoru very differently.
their trust is built on silence—but once megumi can depend on someone there’s really no going back.
and none of this has anything to do with reader necessarily—but her foundation is made from the two children, and satoru.
and then i had to push some more on the two of them. because—they are in love (they don’t say it ever, but it’s obvious), but they need a reason to hide it.
for satoru it’s because he has been raised to be the most important thing, and to not really trust anyone. and when suguru leaves he realizes that no matter what no one will understand him—he’ll always be a level ahead, a step too high.
so for reader it has to be different. some echoes of pain. and as soon as i realized how scared she was for megumi—i had to give her a reason to be scared. i imagine that she’s always been terrified of jujutsu, not because it’s difficult or because there was some nasty curses, but because it essentially ruined her life.
i imagine her parents to be average, run of the mill people. i think she depended on them when she was very young, and was naturally trusting (like tsumiki) as a child. she’s the type to believe that her parents are the best people in the world.
but once a little girl begins to see things that aren’t there—to scream and hide in closets, or cry while being dragged into the kitchen—things shift.
i don’t think it was bad at first, but when her cursed technique manifested, her parents understood that she was something other.
outwardly, they provided everything a child needs. food, home, clothes, education. but they refused to listen to her when something was wrong, they would leave the room when she entered—because she carried that negative presence with her.
so, i think to reader, they treated her like she was the curse.
and when yaga shows up, rattling about jujutsu high and these strange things that only the two of them would be able to understand, there was no returning back into the child her parents had loved.
she was different. too different for them to understand—or want to even try to.
i doubt they gave her a choice in going to school. if they could get her out of their house, get her curse out of there—they were going to.
(not to mention that there’s no reason for her to stay at home—not with two people who couldn’t care less about her).
so she was essentially sent away at fifteen and (like reader says) they were gone not too long after that.
(i think both the first and second years found out about this because yaga was trying to be nice and tell them not to push and accidentally revealed too much information. also he’s a gossip oops).
with the type of childhood she had—bad but not awful, nothing to run from—it makes it hard for her to connect with other people. and reader truly does believe she is the curse because that’s all she’s been taught.
but everyone at jujutsu high can understand, even if it’s the smallest amount. going there changes her life, simply put.
with at least five other people there to understand the things that she does—the burden is divided equally among all of them. she doesn’t have to hold it all alone.
so she connects with suguru, begins to realize she was just a child and not a problem. she learns how to control her cursed technique and is no longer scared that she’s doomed to forever push people away.
and she makes friends. friends make all the difference in the world, obviously.
plus, there’s satoru and he’s a burden of his own.
but at least she gets to choose it this time, no matter how difficult he makes it.
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puppyxaegon · 1 month ago
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I have some questions.
What are all your favourite ships whether than are canon or not canon, from books, tv shows or movies.
What are all your favourite romance and character tropes.
Okay this ask is over a YEAR old but I never saw it so sorry lol,, that being said my all time fav ships in order of when I got into them include:
Frank/Gerard of MCR: This was the first ship I genuinely got super feral and invested in and learned all the lore and history and spent hours reading smut of them every night in middle school. I think this is the only RPF ship I still interact with to this day because they're just too perfect idk in an alternate universe they're together forever.
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Stiles/Derek from Teen Wolf: My first love in terms of fictional ship, this one is very cutesy and nostalgic for me bc of my age at the time of watching, also my first time feeling the agony and evil of unfulfiled queerbaiting because WHY did Derek have that twink thrown up against the wall like that if not...
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Marcline/Princess bubblegum from AdvT: One of my very rare sweet and wholesome ships,, I can't even think of them sexually I just love them and they make me cry
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Carl/Negan from TWD: It feels weird to include this for obvious reasons but at the time Negan appeared in the show I was the same age as carl and that whole storyline rewired my brain and heavily impacted my sexuality lmao so that's that. I was just a silly little fujo and Carl was my self insert ahaha I was crazy back then
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Ramsay/Theon/Reek from GoT/ASOIAF: To this day this is THE ship for me. I have never been more into a ship than Thramsay it's ruined my life a bit. Their whole arc in season 3 with Ramsays growing obsession and Theon's transformation into reek made me realize that there is something wrong with my brain bcs I was NOT thinking normal thoughts about them. Theon is also one of my fav characters like ever he's so tragic and beautiful and do I relate to him and see him as a self insert a bit too much?? Who's to say. I also think this ship is so adaptable and amazing in so many different AUs and also explores and psyches of both characters amazingly blah blah blah I could go on for hours about this so I'll cut myself off now but I'm always down to gab about these characters, as a ship or just in general.
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Jennifer/Needy from Jennifer's body: I don't have as much to say about them BUT their dynamic is so ajshsksksis childhood besties who grow to be very different people but still grow up to be attached at the hip is something I love very much. Also they way they're like obsessed with each other and lowkey want each other so bad but neither of them understand it so they just end up destroying each other instead???? Spectacular I'll take 14 more.
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Billy/Steve from Stranger Things (+Tommy if ya nasty): This is another ship that's like beautiful and perfect to me I think they go together so well their tension in the show is crazy and they just look so good together??? I was a Billy devotee from the start and lemme tell y'all when season 3 hit the streets????? and Billy was getting physically and emotionally destroyed every single episdose???? Trust me I was feeling things. Also regarding Billy being canonically racist,,,I'm black and I kinda dgaf I think that was kinda a random choice by the creators, its not integral to the character and its easy to do away with in fic! Also Harringrove is in the running for my personal best ship names ever.
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Billy/Stu from Scream: WAITER??? MORE REPRESSED GAYS CLINGING TO EACH OTHER FOR SURVIVAL IN A WORLD THAT DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THEM!!! I love how goofy and chaotic and dramatic and immature they are, ellos son toxicos but they need each other I think. Also the fact that an actual QUEER CODED THIS (gay director) theres so much subtext and little things between them so theres just a lot of explore.
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For romantic tropes, I'll make this section a lil shorter because I'm already writing a novel here but I very much enjoy: Tragic/doomed/haunting the narrative characters, strong power dynamics, mutual obsession, obsessive/emotional villans, secret relationships, captive/captor, childhood friends to lovers, opposites attract, unrequited crushes/love, rebounds, and lastly whatever the FUCK Theon Greyjoy got going on.
Honorable mention ships: Eddie/Buck (911), Stiles/Lydia (Teen Wolf), Byler (ST), Phan (youtube RPF), Reylo (Star Wars), Stucky (MCU), Rick/Negan (TWD) Loras/Renly (GoT), Ryden (band RPF), Klaine (Glee), Ben/Maddie/Ren (Siren), Dan/Herbert (reanimator)
Thank you for this ask and sorry its so late bc I love talking about my blorbos!!!
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miss-ery-3 · 9 months ago
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i dont have much to report on weight wise, as i havent weighed myself since thursday, because i've been drinking alcohol and therefore i am retaining water
i can feel how i am all swelled up rn - my rings feel tighter than normally. i'll weigh myself again once the water retention goes down
but, ofc, i have even more stuff about my whole ✨love life situation✨
i am seeing my bf tomorrow, and i will tell him that i dont think our relationship is going that greatly, and then i'll take it from there. i dont really like to think too much about it, but i also feel more at peace w it - and i think my lil crush is a huge part of that. i really dont need anyone to tell me that i'm a horrible person - i am truly doing my best, both in terms of navigating my feelings and my relationship and my mental health. i'm really not in a good place right now, but at least i can kinda pretend, that my troublesome feelings are some fun new drama that i can share w my friends (you guys teehee)
if you don't care about my love life drama, then its totally ok. if you are, you're in for a treat (maybe idk)
lets call my crush-situation W
aight, so W and i talked all night thursday, and i have quite a lot to report about that night, and then a little about last night
my friend started talking about one time i had a ons w one of my friends, like 3 years ago, and i was quite embarrassed to talk about it. but the others laughed and idk, i figured it was fine. W switched between not laughing at all, just looking down at the table, and then awkwardly laughing a bit while looking at me, and then the table. i dont know what that means??? just as the conversation ended he was like "do u wanna go for a smoke" and then we went outside, and talked about other things.
we had been drinking and joking all night, and he decided to tell some group of girls sitting in the bar, that he and i are childhood friends (big lie, i've known him since summer). and i was like "aight, whatever" and then he lied and told them that i had written him tons of love letters when we were children. and i just laughed and lied and said "yeah haha, i was totally in love with you". when we left the bar, like 2 hours later, and we were all alone, i teased him about something we told the group of girls, and then he was like "yeah yeah whatever, i know that you'll just send me another love letter. you're like tooootally into me hahaha" and i was like "oh yeah, haha, totally. u got me" while walking away and laughing. i might just be fucking overthinking everything but also... why lie about writing love letters? there are much more embarrassing things (for me) he could've said. idk, help me
he texted his girlfriend throughout the night (i think) but looked quite annoyed/not happy whenever he did, and at some point he left the table for like 15 minutes (probably to talk to her). idk
he kept touching my stuff. like my cigarettes and my lighter, he would just sit with them and play with them. i found it quite cute, idk
OKAY, and then to last night (friday) i was in another bar last night, helping out, 'cause i kinda work there (ish, like, volunteer-work) and W was supposed to have a shift later in the evening
he calls me to tell me that he will be running late, 'cause he was at an event, and shit hit the fan, idk. then he asked me if i could cover for him, and i said that i for sure could cover for him. we only talked for 1,5 minute, but idk. my fucking hands went sweaty and i couldn't stand still. i don't think i've ever picked up that fast. uuuughhhhh i feel so weird. whatever
he showed up like 1,5 hours too late (but it was ok, 'cause there really wasn't much to going on), and went directly out to find me (i was smoking) to hug me and apologize for coming so late. then i kept feeling his eyes on me, and i could hear him mention my name a lot of the night
we ended up doing some cleanup together afterwards, and it was just... really nice. we have such a good time whenever we're together and i feel so comfortable around him. except for the part where i keep thinking about how hot i think he is and how want to give him a big old smooch. i had hoped to talk to him some more, but we both went home when cleanup was done, and idk. its fine
i have not been able to keep him out of my head all day. its truly torturous
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mayson-jarz-artz101 · 23 days ago
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Loved participating in the Ben and his siblings chat but it also brought up some points on the brellies and their trauma! So let’s do a bit of a deep dive into all of them and see what makes up our umbrella family.
Keep in mind, I’m not a psychologist or anything, I’ve just finished a college class about it but I’m nowhere near an expert. I’m just going off things I myself know and what I can see.
First we’ll start with Luther!
Part 2: Diego
Luther:
Luther seemed to develop a dependency on Reginald? In the beginning, he never doubted him and he always stood by him. Maybe he was scared if he didn’t stay with Reginald, Grace and Pogo, he’d have nothing. He tried to keep the siblings together as the leader but they all left, feeding Luther’s abandonment issues. Then..Reginald sent him to the moon. Ik as a fandom when season 1 was the only thing we had, we all made fun of Luther for constantly bringing up the moon and why Reginald sent him there but it’s really important for his character. Luther went because Reginald told him to but eventually the loneliness got to him. Reginald never told him WHY he was there only that it was important. Later we found out it’s for Abigail’s corpse. When Luther came back and found out Reginald never opened the samples he sent, he thought he was sent for no reason. That Reginald just wanted to get rid of him. This fed into his abandonment issues.
This might also be why Luther got so attached to Allison and eventually formed an incestual relationship? He felt like he’d never find a normal girl to love so he went with the only girl to show him affection? (Not saying it was okay at all, I’m just trying to understand WHY he’d do it).
Then we also have his accident where he got the gorilla body. This is obviously body dysmorphia and he tries everything he can to hide it by constantly wearing long sleeves and gloves. In the comics he also binge eats during a depressive episode so..
In season 1, all of his decisions seem heavily based on “would Reginald do it.” Then after he discovers Reginald sent him to the moon for no reason he was told of, he had to figure it all out on his own but he couldn’t…so he went through a rebellion phase and went to party, taking some drugs and taking a girl home. He hated it so he never did it again. Then he just tried to keep the family together and went back trying to he the leader.
In season 2, he seemed to join an underground fighting ring 1. For money and 2. To get his anger and frustrations out. It’s a coping mechanism for him. Also why after the whole Allison thing, he let the guy beat him up. He thought he deserved it. Then Five sort of helps him out of the rut because he promised to get them home. So Luther tries to lead to Five and take care of him, like a good leader. He failed because now there’s two fives and they’re both insane.
In season 3, he’s completely infatuated by Sloane. It’s a girl he likes but he doesn’t know how to handle liking a girl so he’s going a bit…4th grade girl with her crush. Idk if it would count as incest because Reginald never adopted him in this timeline but they both call him dad and they both refer to Ben as their brother so..in a way, they’re siblings?…anyway, he’s coping with everything by focusing on Sloane.
In season 4 (which doesn’t exist), he’s trying to rebuild his childhood home to make it into something he never had. But he also was starting to have some self doubt, as we see in a deleted scene with him and Diego in the CIA where he asks Diego if he was a good leader. He probably had a feeling the end of the world was coming so he wanted just a bit of validation from his brother, to know he did a good job. Something Reginald would never tell him. And then, he died in his childhood home. The home he could never rebuild to make it nice. But at least he died with his siblings and not alone, like he feared.
So here’s Luther..feel free to add anything I missed! Luther is mostly based on abandonment issues, self doubt and body dysmorphia.
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sorryimananti-romantic · 8 months ago
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Rating ateez on how much childhood me would've clung to them:
8. Hongjoong: There's no reason other than he's maths teacher coded and I never liked maths so I never went near the maths teachers either. I am mathphobic.
7. Jongho: Idk man he looks like he would've put me in air jail.
6. Yeosang: Bro's so pretty I would've been too shy to go up and talk😭😭 But I would've probably clung to him a little once I started talking.
5. Mingi: A bit intimidating at first but later you'd find me climbing up to his face to bite his head just because it looked tasty.
4. Yunho: Again, I'll be climbing up him but would just stay in his arm. He isn't as biteable as Mingi.
3. Wooyoung: Would probably instigate me to climb Mingi and bite him. Two peas in a pod.
2. San: No.1 most Huggable Hug Shaped Hug person I'd like to hug.
1. Seonghwa: Will sit on his lap and fight children who try to share the lap with me. You'd normally find me hanging from his neck like a human necklace. Bro would have back issues by the end of the year.
Also I have this weird feeling in my brain that Jungkook from BTS is made of Blueberry cake and Jimin is made of Strawberry parfait. Both of them are cake.
Proof:
Jimin-
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Koo-
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Do not ask me why I just have pictures of their booty lying around. I don't have any idea either.
you must really miss your childhood kaya :') that's actually cute (me i don't want to go through the trauma my childhood brought me again i'm good 😃)
but n e ways here's my personal rating (disclaimer: i was never a clingy kid and i was shy asf and also somehow both way too mature as a child and dumb asf idk how that works)
8. mingi: we'd prob just stare at each other without talking i'm sorry (but present me would prob get along best with mingi which is funny)
7. wooyoung: i really didn't like loud people as a kid and that's bc i wanted to be them- carefree and wild. he would have to involve me himself but i would make myself appear very uninterested.
6. san: i would be way too shy to talk to him bc i know even as a child i would have thought wow he would have been my first crush before i knew what a crush meant.
5. yeosang: absolutely right bro's so pretty i would want to talk to him so bad and honestly he might be the only one childhood me would have made an effort to talk to
4. jongho: too mature for our age? check. we would team up to talk about life and make fun of ppl
3. yunho: he seems like such a friendly person i would prob just watch him talk and slowly open up to him hehe
2. hongjoong: childhood me and him have the same interests so we might have actually gotten along pretty well (plus he may be math coded but childhood me loved maths
1- seonghwa: there's absolutely no need to think about this. his presence is so welcoming and i feel like he would have made an effort to bring me out of my shy bubble and we would have had a lot to talk about
(yours is like reality show material AHAHAHAHA now i want to see atz try to befriend a kid like you)
also thank you for gracing me with some cake today 😃 and honestly, i really do think jimin as strawberry and jk as blueberry makes sense.
if we're talking about flavours im having a thought- yunho feels like he's made of vanilla cake LDFGJDKLFJG DONT ASK ME WHY
(hj is the white frosting cake that when you cut reveals a rainbow sponge KJHFJGKHDFJKG) (san also has a cake on him i assign him chocolate)
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