#id go into detail but i honestly dont know how to explain it

[todayisafridaynight]

Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet post-finale discussion

this is a post that goes over some things that i briefly touched on in the tags/mentions some plot points i wasn't able to expand upon! SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS after the cut. so dont look unless u want it to be spoiled

ok so! i want to first of all start out by thanking everyone reading/the ellie community this for being so patient and wonderful and just lovely in general! writing long fics can be so draining for me, especially when i start making poor plot choices and start writing parts that are over 10k words (i at least have the decency to be ashamed of it). i hope that you all have enjoyed reading p7/the rest of the series. i did want to offer a little more elaboration on some points/why i made some of the plot choices that i did. so spoilers under the cut!

petra

petra's character might seem super random, and it's because she actually used to play a much bigger role in this story. my original outline included petra actually coming back to jackson as well as a few cutscenes away to her time working at a bourbon plant in kentucky, detailing exactly how the goods were contaminated/how they actually got past quality control. i cut these scenes bc i was like literally no one came to read about this random oc.

how did terranova get infected (in other words: what petra's story would've told)

she used to have a monologue talking about how everyone in the plants—even the commanding officers—were frustrated with the poor conditions and managed to infect weaker members, tie them up, and drop their saliva into the vats of aging bourbon. this slipped past quality control because you'll recall that 1) the prices were skyrocketing in terranova and 2) there was a festival that involved hella drinking. petra was supposed to explain that since the prices of liquor were so high and quality control could be overly cautious, flagged bottles were smuggled off by guards and sold in a black market. so that's why it was so fast/why it got through the borders!

why didnt u write a smut scene between ellie and y/n smh

i honestly planned to—i had a whole scene where y/n has her little top moment, but i just couldnt integrate it into the last final scenes. to me it just felt too much for ellie to be like yes im opening up 2 u emotionally....now lets fuck in the span of like 20 mins when they hadn't been speaking beforehand. and also i think it speaks to how ellie kind of used sex to put distance between them in the first few parts and tried to avoid any sort of emotional intimacy, so this was a big step for her. also if i were y/n id be sleepy as hellllll at that point and would not have the wrist stamina for any sort of activities that didn't involve tucking into bed after the day she's had!

what next?

so of course there's the epilogue, but that doesn't have to be all. i was thinking of writing an alternate ending that adheres more firmly to tlou 2 canon and involves joel's death + ellie's spiral, where y/n actually chooses to leave terranova with dina to try to find her once she hears from her father about a girl with a fern tattoo that's causing a disturbance just a bit south of terranova. i didn't want that to be the actually legit ending, because i do think it's important for ellie's conscience to know that she's not keeping y/n from somewhere safer.

so in conc: epilogue for sure, maybe an alternate ending, and potentially a few "deleted scenes" (including the smut scene i cut)

why did you choose to do that to terranova instead of having ellie find her or y/n leave?

ellie was never going to terranova to get y/n because she'd never try to take her from there unless she had a genuine belief that she'd be better off outside. so i suppose that there could've been a storyline about ellie finding out about terranova possibly getting infected, but idk how she would know that when communication is so private and tommy wasn't even able to get in contact with any terranovan authorities with his connections.

i didn't go with my alternate ending idea where y/n actually chooses to leave, partly because of ellie and mostly because i felt like terranova needed to get blown up anyway. i was hoping that part of the message i sent with this was that overconsumption is never sustainable and that it will always have consequences, and terranova falling apart because of and not in spite of its resources and suppliers seemed like a good way to get the job done!

this may not be something anyone is particularly interested in but if you have any questions about any things i didn't cover in the finale, feel free to ask ! now that the actual plot is mostly complete and i can't really spoil anything, i have a lot more flexibility with answering things!

[readingismyhobby24]

im doing pretty good too ^_^!!!!

im SO excited to yap about rainworlds >:D i wanted the game a lot like last year and its like “oh wow i have it now lol” so ive been playing it a bunch and reading about the lore (because its super hard to tell the lore in the game)

to start off simple, you play as a slugcat (basically cat mixed with a slug) in an ecosystem with other creatures, id like to mention how i enjoy that the creatures dont just have set animations for their actions like most games, theyre placed on a rig and the ai has to go off of what to do which i find interesting! you, the slugcat arent meant to be a hero in the story, youre basically just another part in the ecosystem, youre also very low in the food chain (below you are basically just small creatures and plants, while lizards, scavengers, vultures, etc are above you.)

i also enjoy how it isnt JUST a survival game, each character has a story, such as how monk and the survivor are brothers that were seperated, how hunters cycles count down instead of up because she has a disease, etc!

oh yeah i should also probably do a gender chart so nothing gets too confusing (highlighted in yellow is canon, highlighted in purple is implied, white is just my own personal interpretation)

male- gourmand, monk, survivor

female- artificer, rivulet, hunter

neither- spearmaster, inv, saint, nightcat

oh yeah! i should probably explain the actual main thing you SHOULD be worried about!

basically, every cycle is around 13 minutes i believe (except rivulets, hers are shorter, but its back to normal when you meet five pebbles) and when the 13 minutes is up, you have to find shelter before everything rains. you have a certain amount of food pips depending on the campaign, if you have full food pips you can hibernate for the night and itll save, if you dont have enough filled it wont save and will give you one extra food pip, you can also eat extra so you have a few food pips already filled for the next cycle!

the main objective of the game is to follow the guide (iggy/overseer, i prefer to call em iggy) to Looks to the Moon and then Five Pebbles (theyre both iterators which ill explain later!!!!!) im not quite sure how the campaigns end, but ill find out trust :3

so basically, the iterators are what created the slugcats (i believe) and gave a few of them purposes, most were to send a message (like how spearmaster was made to be a messenger), also they have funky names like “Seven Red Suns” and “No Significant Harassment”

also some parts of the game are just really funny 😭 like i know its a game thats probably intended to make me mad but i cant help but laugh at the fact that spearmaster canonically got top surgery (in a way) and that theres a dating sim after you finish inv’s campaign

after each cycle you gain karma! (everytime you die you loose karma too btw) which can help you get through certain passages :)

remember how i mentioned that hunters cycles counted down instead of up? thats an important detail to her story :) because she basically has a disease, after the certain number of cycles, it starts to effect you, and death is permanent (fun fact! if you die in hunters campaign permanently you can go into gourmands and find her body (did i forget to mention that some parts of this game are actually really disturbing? i HATE the spiders.))

its such a confusing yet amazing game, its definitely worth it to get it with the DLC, the sound effects of the creatures, explosions, stabbing, literally every small detail is incredible and i LOVE the music !! oh yeah theres also an upcoming dlc with the nightcat… im very excited :3

sorry if i yapped a lil too much or jumped around too much or if this is hard to understand ����

bonus pictures of the slugcats with the timeline :) i love them a lot

Okay! Wow!! This sounds really cool and interesting!! And also stressful because this sounds like a game I'd be horrible at 😅 (but honestly I'm bad at all games except for LoZ games, but even then I still struggle with them). Thank you so much for explaining it to me! The little slugcats are adorable by the way!!!

Also, never worry about yapping too much to me!! It literally doesn't bother me at all. I love hearing what you have to say!!! And getting long asks of people yapping actually makes me super happy ^_^

I hope you have a great day/night 🩵

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!!

im gonna rant at you for a bit if you dont mind :)

Im a minor that lives in a super tight night, close minded community. Super religious, super homophobic transphobic ect. Seeing as im a teenage girl whose questioning their gender and is definitely attracted to women thats kinda problematic lols. Honestly idek how to explain the situation without a bunch of details, but basically, theres a fifty-fifty chance of me being sent to conversion therapy or just cut off from any internet access (and i mean ANY. i have a flip phone for fucks sake.)if my fam finds out im queer, i have no support system outside of some internet friends who know nothing about my situation, and within the next few years(so like once i turn 20ish, thats in like 4 years but whatever) my family is going to expect me to get married to a man and start popping out babies asap. Btw thats whats expected of me in this community, marriage under the age of 25, have like as many kids as physically possible and god forbid higher education. And im not okay with that . Ffs i want to go to college, major in fine arts, meet a person i like and fall desperately in love or maybe not just have a bunch of close platonic relationships i want cats and a dog and a cute studio in a big city where i can dye my hair whatever color i want aand get an obsene amount of piercings, i want to wear pants!! I just want to live. Without expectations or limits or people who love me hating everything they dont know about me. Is that truly so much to ask for?

And im incredibly dramatic cuz i literally have the dream life. My family loves me, my parents are upper middle class, theyve never hurt me before(besides for all the anti everything rants haha) i literally have a full sized bed, which for some reason i see as the peak of being spoiled idk why. I go to school, not even public, a private religious school that prob costs thousands of dollars, i have friends(who are all part of this community btw and id bet my entire savings that most of them think gay is only a word that ppl use to mean happy lol) close ones even!! I have adorable neices and nephews(my 3 sisters all were married by the age of 20, so i have 11 niecesand nephews while my oldest sister is 31) im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out. No hope of college to get on my feet and find someway out, no people that'll help me fucking run away or some bullshit like that, hell ive considered it and then felt like shit, cuz what am i even running from? Im probably attracted to men it wont kill me to marry one. And i like kids, i wouldnt mind having any either. But.... i dont want to be trapped anymore. Cuz ill be honest thats what i am.if some one asked me to run away with them rn i would, no hesitation.

God im a mess😭😭 anyway this was me ranting in my notes app, im just apologizing for dumping this on a complete stranger(we're moots actually!!) albeit a very kind one :) i dont know what im looking for, but ill take whatever your comfortable giving ig.

I love and appreciate you<333

And hey this has been oddly cathartic so lmk if its okay for me to do this again sometime :))

"im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out."

Hon, you're not living the dream life...there's a difference between financial privilege and being happy, you know? It's pretty clear that this isn't what you want.

I'm not sure if you're asking for my advice here, or if you just want to vent. But I care about you, and if you want me to research some things to try to help you, I'm more than willing to (that way it's not on your search history.) Just say the word!

Until then, you are ALWAYS allowed to vent to me.

I'm naming you venting anon in case you write again!

[wadesprincessboy]

Shout out to my fellow singlets with "innerworlds/headspaces" (quotation marks as im not sure this is the correct term for a singlet to use!).

A long description of my inner world and the way my brain works is found below....

I am a maladaptive daydreamer and autistic and i have a very detailed inner world / worlds / universes that i interact with very often. I call mine my inside brain. I visualize it as a world in the center of my brain (if all brain functions were on the outer shell, this world is inside like a bubble). It is infinite. It has layers and depth and it can be zoomed in and out to different parts of it. It can also be "swiped" to a different world (i have two main ones) as well as there being many alternate versions of each world. They grow and change with me and what i need most at that time. I only interact with one main one these days but i keep the old one there, in ruins, to remind me of where ive been and how that part of me is now gone and i have a new inner world now. I also have the mind palace (inspired by bbc sherlock) which is on the edge of my "brain" and "inside brain" where i store all important things such as memories and facts in filing cabinet rooms, and there i can project the memories onto the "inside brain" to watch them the same way i watch the characters in the inside brain!!!! Its great fun honestly and has pretty much saved my life as it gives me a safe space no matter where i am. All i have to do is dissociate and go in there and im safe from harm :3 it also helps with academics because the mind palace has a black board room and a few visualizing rooms that i can do math on and picture any words ive read in respectively.

Its very hard to explain how i interact with this "inner world" because i am a singlet and its just me (and my characters who are like dolls, i control everything they do and say and how they look and act etc etc) in there. Its not like a hallucination, its entirely in my head and i watch from different angles like from the perspective of a movie camera. And i can still see the world around me when im in there. Id describe it like dreaming while awake but i am in full control, so its a daydream really, but in the same space every time and its a very detailed world.

My inner conscious is also in there. His name is Harri. His appearance and personality is who i want to be and how i want to look and his voice is how i want to sound, but he does have a different life to me such as he is Australian American and is adopted, and he has hEDS, which I do not have (but many of my family members do). Idk if its weird that he has a disability i dont have but he just does, thats not something i chose, he just started appearing with braces and a crutch and i was like oop- okay then 🤣 yeah anyway Harri is a cool dude idk, hes 38 and hes like my best friend. He replaced the guy from my old inner world who was called Bill (he was technically just Bill Weasley but i changed him so much he was really an OC) but then things got bad with Bill and i had to start a nuclear war in that headspace to get rid of everything a start a new world.....my brain is weird.

Anyway I love my brain, I have to be careful to make sure I dont have a repeat of the Bill situation, but I avoid it by using only OCs and changing the story often so i dont get too sucked in to anything specific and start becoming delusional and dysphoric about not being a 50 something year old ginger wizard from Ireland- yeah.....that happened. I also started having memories of things that happened to him (which was not good because he had a very violent life) and becoming triggered when watching HP movies because I would remember being abused by certain characters 😬

Nowadays i know how to control my mind better so it stays safe most of the time! But yes that is my brain and my innerworld lmao, feel free to share your own experiences (both singlets and systems!!)!

Also bonus fact: my innerworld was actually my special interest for about 3 years? It was hard to explain so i said my spin was harry potter but it was actually my inner world that was based off of harry potter lol

[flingza-roller]

Hey so I found your account today and I love your art!!!

I also love your Captain 3 Cosplay! I’ve wanted to Cosplay them, but I couldn’t think of any idea on how to make their hat or headphones, so I’m curious to know if you’d be able to explain how you made yours?

if you’re busy and can’t respond I understand I just thought I’d ask

OAAAAGH THANK YOU!! it always makes me so happy when people enjoy my cosplay, i had lotsa fun with it :D

im gonna go into detail with this so imma shove it under a read more

so honestly i kinda cheesed it with the hat and also did it in the most convoluted way- i already owned a hat with a similar shape, one of those sailor captain hats u can find anywhere. loved wearing that thing. but anyway i removed the bit of rope and the buttons it had, then went through the very long and painstaking task of gluing fabric onto the whole thing. this required a lotta measuring, a lotta trial and error, but i eventually got there! i pretty much just cut out the pieces and layed them over the hat in the right positions.

the gold bits on the sides are just half of one of those metal button things u can get from craft stores, and the gold strips + emblem are a metallic gold card. the emblem itself i made by tracing over the game model, transferring that trace onto paper, tracing the paper onto gold card, then cutting out each piece and gluing it to the black disk i made (somehow this took me like 4 hours, dont ask why). i then just glued the whole thing to the front of the hat!

now the headphones- i was actually really lazy with this, ive been desperately wanting to make proper LED headphones with the right cables at the back but... i never really get around to it, i dont know the first thing about electronics in cosplay 😔

SO! with the con rapidly approaching and me running out of ideas, i resort to something i know i can handle. i buy a cheap pair of bluetooth kmart headphones and get to work. so i found that spotlight stocked this very thick.... foam, card? im not sure what it is exactly, but i had to use a stanley knife to cut it. i measured and cut discs out to attach onto the sides of the headphones, then added a layer of yellow card on top.

the pointy part of the 'phones is a cut piece of that thick card glued onto a piece of foam (the floor mat kind) for stability, and then i just painted the glowing dots on the front of the card with acrylics. i had to wear the headphones with the handle going around the back of my hat so that they didnt fall off, and since i would be adjusting them a lot and knew the "ears" might look wonky i decided to attach a patch of velcro to the side of the headphones and the yellow disk so that i could easily change their positions if they got crooked.

so yeah! they may not look the best, and theres always things i can improve, but i did put a hell of a lotta hours and love into em. i hope some of this can help u! and if u can make ur cosplay, id love to see it !!

[wangbotam]

if ur accepting asks rn can u explain a bit of ur cookie run trivia game? i was totally lost on a lot of questions

to be honest im not sure how to explain most of them because almost every single question can actually be easily checked through some googling, so i dont think i can go into detail on most of them, but i can provide some commentary

heres a link again if anyone wants to do the quizz, because im going to give away the answers. its just for fun so you can decide whether you think its worth spending like 20 minutes of your life playing it. anyway heres what i can say about some of the questions:

Until which update was this cookie included in the credits of CROB?

i hate this question because it proves how stupid i was. it was originally 'what is this cookies OFFICIAL name, not counting social media?' because i was under the belief that banana peel was only ever called 'ch17' and the official name 'banana cookie' only came from devsisters namedropping her on social media.

turns out im wrong and im a dumbass, she WAS already called banana cookie, but only in korean, and i didnt realise because i didnt look hard enough on her wiki page in the cookie run wiki. i am the fucking idiot of the century.

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Not counting Kakao Cookie Run, which of these games never released outside of South Korea?

looking back, i think this question may be one of the easiest. if i had the hindsight that this question is stupid as hell, id have made it centered around 'cookie run the darkest night' instead, because that was a game i only found out existed while researching to make the quizz and it gave me one of the funniest cookie run screenshots ive ever seen.

hes just standing there. menacingly.

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What Cookie was meant to be part of CR:OB's starting roster, but released years later instead?

i cant provide insight on the question itself but i can provide some trivia! according to context, since CROB (then named Cookie Run 2, which is fucking hilarious) started production around 2015, its heavily implied by dinosour was meant to be a CROB original! this is heavily supported by the fact he had a completely different design than what he ended up with, just like popcorn. as an added bonus, theres two cookies who were the inverse: meant for kakao but released for CROB instead. im not gonna say who they are, because i might make an extended version of the quizz someday, but you can find out who they are by googling.

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Which of these Cookies were leaked early into Kingdom's lifespan, but never released?

i first showed the quizz to a kakao-centric group im a part of and there were some concerns on how the question was worded, because ALL the answers in this question are cookies who were shown in early promotional material but never released (at least not yet), but orange cookie - as far as i know, from the answers i inserted - was the only one to have been at least close to completion but never released. this is the same limbo that carol and matcha found themselves for years, but unfortunately orange hasnt escaped it yet.

notably, there was a leak VERY early into kingdoms lifespan - i believe this may have been around the time of kumihos release - that showed real life photos of each cookies gacha screen, or at least mockups, and there were two very notable cookies there, orange and devil. devil ended up releasing (and i think they may be the only rare cookie added post-game launch?) but orange never did. i honestly dont know why, my first guess is that she may not fit the games aesthetic of high medieval fantasy but thats clearly not true because shining glitter exists.

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Which of these following Devsisters games have had more than one actual appearence in a Cookie Run game?

this one may also be one of the most unfair, if only because 99% of devsisters non-cookie run catalogue of games is so obscure that theres barely any footage for most of them, and i think some of them may even be lost media. get THAT! mish is probably one of the most well known, and even then ive only seen two whole videos of its gameplay in the years since ive known this game exists. i actually didnt even know 'pandadogs pizza' was a game that existed until i started researching for this quizz! the answer is still available on the internet though as obscure as it is so im confident that its still relatively fair, compared to...

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Finally: Which of these costumes leaked YEARS before their actual release?

this is my favorite question. im like, 99% sure its almost completely impossible to find any proof of this, and i almost considered not including it for this very reason, but its one of my favorite facts about cookie run because it makes me feel like im part of a Cool Kids Club for knowing about it. some of you may hate me for it, but i fucking love it. anyway, for context:

back in late 2020, shortly before we had any info on the first TBD update, i was in a server that had a super secret leaks channel, and the first leak ever posted when i joined that server was this TBD leak. it was very low quality photos (just like oranges leak), but like, even more low quality. i can vividly remember:

1 - croissant cookies ability sprite, which most of us thought was actually a pilot costume

2 - some of timekeepers sprites, probably their talksprites, alongside rogueforts costume, which made us assume timekeeper was actually a super epic/legendary costume concept for roguefort (this was before we knew legendary costumes were exclusively for legendary cookies in CROB)

3 - everyone assuming the island of memories was getting an update for some fucking reason

4 - and finally, cherrys TBD costume alongside one of zombies costumes (though i dont remember which). i remember thinking it was super weird that cherrys costume was nowhere to be found when the update finally released, and turns out devsis just put it in the backburner for the time being. why? nobody knows! this is also why i put zombie in as one of the answers.

anyway yeah this question is completely unfair and im aware of it. ive since had a falling out with the owner of the server that had these leaks so unfortunately i cant show proof of their existence, but trust me, theyre real. cookie run leaks were a lot less prevalent (at least compared to how common they are nowadays) back then, especially because cookie run was still super niche in 2020, so i assume these leaks didnt spread very far.

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finally, a question i wanted to add but didnt was about 'which cookie got nerfed mere hours/minutes after their release?'. its related to a weird memory i have of opening up the tumblr app before school started to see people in the cookie run tag talking about how op lemon was and how he got nerfed shortly after he released because he was just that op. to give credence to my memory, yeah, he was super busted back then - he kind of scored like nobody had ever seen up til that point in CROB, at least until lime stole the title of most OP release from him (this was before we knew how bad cookie runs score inflations would get).

but i couldnt find any proof that this was real? like, im sure it was, i even told one of my classmates about it because it was so absurd to me, but when i started research for the quizz i couldnt find people talking about it. admittedly its AWFUL to look up anything cookie run related nowadays, even if you filter your search, because its all gonna be about modern CROB and CRK and you cant escape from it. but this made me question whether my memory is right or not! i know for a fact the cherry question is 100% real, but lemon.... that was in 2018 and my memory sucks, so i didnt include it. can anyone confirm whether my memory is real or fake? greatly appreciated.

anyway that turned out longer than i anticipated, but it was fun. i love sharing weird obscure tidbits about cookie run, especially because it seems nowadays the fandom isnt very interested in it. maybe someday ill make an Obscure Cookie Run Facts 2 or whatever, but i think for now this quizz is pretty hard enough as is.

[moonstandardtime]

see rbs for more info

i dont have anything for cases two or three yet 😔 some thoughts and expanding on details under the cut

relevant to say that craft is a thing—this au is still in the isat world, just with more advanced technology and the like. so craft is a thing, and phones are also a thing. 👍

i imagine case one would be solved via the murder weapon discrepancy. pretty simple, it is a tutorial case. i think the vibe would be a lil closer to the aa4 tutorial case than, say, jfa. probably also introduces the island as a concept, but mostly in passing.

(side note, i think it would be fun for the coin to be evidence in both of these cases, but im not sure how it would be incorporated. soo if anyone has any ideas. id like to hear them)

case four is the last one so its gonna be super stacked against loop for a lot of it, but it probably gets turned around almost-christmas style by siffrin recovering from his injuries enough to stand as a witness.

loops attitude during this case is probably a combination of edgeworth in turnabout goodbyes (depressed about it, has (somewhat) accepted their fate) and wocky kitaki (insistent that they did it). so. theyre very unhelpful.

since the king is the killer, and hes been the main prosecutor for most of this, the setup of this case overall is pretty reminiscent of turnabout goodbyes, as well as like. all of aa4. (ive been lightly considering loop being a prosecutor and then giving the king a mvk type introduction with this final case, but i think this way works better with isats story.) like, uncovering a long and far-reaching conspiracy where this Important Guy is behind it all and pulling all the strings.

im not sure exactly what the motive here is, yet, but its definitely island related bc. yknow. the king. maybe siffrin was trying to look into the king and the king was like Nuh Uh. maybe thats what loop and siffrin were arguing abt. i also dont quite know loops deal, but ill. figure that out. honestly ive been picturing them still as a star which. yknow im not sure how id explain that.

i want to make wish craft still be involved? but idrk how id go about that. shrug emoji. ill figure it out along with the kings deal probably

isat ace attorney au is this anything

[transmascnepetaleijon]

girl help i have a physical body

[mrfoox]

The fact I will unwillingly empathize or otherwise give people my understanding is kinda the worst tbh

[notahorseindisguise]

ive actually had a good grasp on the concept of cosmic horror since i was a child.

i once had a dream where i was in a blank, empty, dark void. there was nothing anywhere, expcept for one thing. it was about 10 paces ahead of me. i cant picture what it looked like, but im sure if i saw it in a drawing or something, i could point it out.

ill try my best to describe it: it was a mass of long, endlessly long, deep, red tendrils. they werent static, they were sort of, pulsing a little bit, but it was barely noticable (i only noticed because i saw it many times - ill get to it later). not only that, but they were crawling over each other, as though in a hurry to get somewhere else in that pile. those bloody tendrils just, get squirming over each other, but the pile never moved. i think, looking back at it, it may have only been one long limb, writhing and squirming all over itself, but of course, ill never be sure.

at some point in the pile, around the middle, the limbs started to go up. like, they went up, and came to a head to support an eyeball. an eyeball bigger than my head. it was white, but bloodshot. veins were visible in it.

now, when i say the eye was white, i dont just mean it was white around the edges of it. i mean the eye was fully white. pure white, with the red arteries obviously just below the surface of the eye. it wasnt always like that, actually. one day, a couple months later i came back, it had a pupil and an iris and everything. at that point i wish it actually didnt have that, and it was back to just the white eye, because, i don't know how to explain it, but i know for a FACT that it had my eye. that was MY EYEBALL jammed haphazardly inside its, for lack of a better word, "face". my eyeball. that always creeped me out.

something you need to know about me: i have aphantasia. i cant picture things in my brain, like, at all. so most of my dreams are pretty boring, without detailed imagery.

something else you need to know about me: these dreams were different. they were super detailed. i felt like i was there. i could remember them vividly. i still cant picture what happened in the dream cause aphantasia, but i remember it being so much more vivid a dream than any id ever had - or ever would, honestly. so i can describe it pretty well.

how is this cosmic horror? well, let me explain the contents of this dream. i was standing there, a bit in front of this creature, looking at it while it looked back at me. i didnt say anything. neither did it. eventually i tried to walk backwards, but the thing just followed me. i didnt see it move at all though. i tried to turn around so i could run away, but it just stayed directly in the same place in my view. but it didnt move. it was like - you know when you look in a light too long, and you see the little dark specs? but since they are in your eye, rather than being an actual object, they stay in the same position of your view no matter where you look. idk if i explained that well, but thats what it was like. it always stayed in the same place.

thats not true actually. the first time i had the dream, i took a step towards it, expecting it to move back. suddenly it was 9 paces away. it didnt have a mouth, but i knew it was smiling, and despite my terror, i was smiling too. i didnt want to smile, i dont know why i was smiling. next time i had the dream, it was still only 9 paces away. i decided to never do it again. until 3 or so months had gone by, and i started feeling comfortable in this landscape, probably too comfortable. i took another step towards it. for the rest of the time i had that dream, i was only about 8 paces away from it... thats, thats actually around the same time it got the eye, i think.

this dream, as ive alluded to, wasnt just a one time thing. it was a terrible recurring nightmare that i had every couple of days for ages. i havent thought about it in ages, im honestly worried that bringing it up might make me have the dream again.

around the 3rd time i had it, my habit was just to stand still and wait for it to be over. got in a few staring contests with it (it didnt have eyelids - it won). but eventually i decided to say something. "what are you?" i called out to it, honestly, scared of how hoarse my voice turned out to be.

it didnt have a mouth, so i thought either it wouldnt respond, or itd do that thing from books where it speaks directly to my mind. it didnt though. its voice definitely came from it, although i don't know where. its voice sounded like, well, just a persons voice. i dont know what the voice was. didnt, anyway. this is the most ive thought about this dream in ages, and now im thinking about it, it was my voice. not my squeely 5 year old voice, the voice i have right now, or maybe a little deeper, as though it matured. it took its voice from me as an adult.

"what are you?" i asked.

"a dream." it said. it laughed. "...by choice."

i didn't talk to it more that night.

the next time i tried to talk to it, i dont know when it was, i asked "what do you mean?" i was asking what it meant by being a dream by choice. i thought maybe i was being too cryptic, but somehow it knew what i was referring to.

"i could get out, if i wanted. but this is more fun." it said. that terrified me more than anything. i knew this being was capable of entering my real world, even though it knows it doesnt exist in the real world. it had that power, its just toying me.

the last time i tried to talk to it, i asked "what do you want?"

it laughed. "come here, and ill show you."

despite that kind invitation, it already had what i now know is my voice, and my eye, so i did not walk any closer.

i dont know if it had a name, i never asked, but i remember giving it a name. i wanted to think of a name that embodied how bad it was, just the pure evil energy coming off it. but nothing i thought of had the right evil energy. i know its not creative, but i called it "Evil". i dont know, it seemed to work. i just couldnt think of anything worse than it. i didnt think that i named it after the concept of evil, i thought the concept of evil was named after it.

i think thats all the information i need to give. it really scared me as a kid. i had this dream for ages. i dont know if Evil was a demon or what, if it actually existed, but that didnt matter, because i imagined it with the power to break out of dreams, which means it could if it wanted to.

my main fear in posting this is that, maybe now it'll be in your dreams. and im so sorry.

[birdkittenn]

continuing where i left off

wrath layer fic chapter 2 reaction:

once again, author's notes reaction. i found the details tag from a tumblr post once and decided id stash the info away until i could use it somewhere. and that turns out to be here

yeah. feral little guy who wants to kill and murder but stopped by the guy who isnt feral

everything is gayer from v2's pov, who has already realized his feelings and trying so hard and failing at getting rid of his crush on this stupid blue fuck

and then i have little thoughts on the little v1-sentry interaction. it's there i guess. v1 the undersocialized little guy who only knows how to kill panicking because if not kill, then what do?? the fact that there's a Lot of people didnt help

oh the v1 trauma scene. im dreading a little at rereading this, i dont think it was good >-<

first, from current v1's pov, who has forgotten what has happened. this reads fine honestly

and now with the memory. the last line in the center is part of v1 realizing that its stuck in a loop and deleting the memory. so far with how i've written it, v1 does Not fare well when realizing it failed an order/task/anything. it does better at not marking things as failure now but it still handles it poorly

current idea that im not 100% sure will make it into the series is that memory deletion does not mean deletion of like, feelings. the stress is Still There. which. you know. if v1 suddenly finds itself in a loop where it keeps deleting its memories, and thereby placing it back into the exact same situation each deletion, the stress just continues building up and. yeah

not sure how i feel about the fact that, so far, my pre-canon characterization of v1 and v2 is that v1 is the most anxious thing that loves to kill ever, and v2 is like...there. v2 going "wow, its so easy being an unfeeling machine" [proceeds to not even realize he is experiencing feelings]. v2 is very stressed when he learns that he has feelings like everyone else. deals poorly with having them. v1 is just always stressed the fuck out though. i guess it's like a cheetah or something

word of the author means nothing btw if its not in the series. everything can change at any time i just like talking about my current plans

v1's reaction to conflict like this! it doesn't want to talk about that at all and gets angry if you try. the anger comes from something like fear though

ok the drawing scene! i struggled with explaining the concept behind it a little. i looked up an image of a lighthouse and mentally broke stuff down into shapes and then tried to describe that as best as i could

if i have to be completely honest, the idea of robots being Very Good at just tracing art and doing realistic art, but struggle more with the abstract stuff comes from this fic. i havent finished reading it nor do i really remember a lot of stuff anymore these days but that was 1 of the scenes that stuck out to me. another scene that sticks out to me is the part where sun tries to describe his favourite colour, but its a very specific colour, guy probably has the hex code for it and all, and tries really hard to recreate that exact colour. its cool i need to reread if i ever get the time. 107 chapters got hands

ivan aivazovsky! i wanted one of his wave paintings specifically because the first time i saw it, i went WOAH and so i knew i had to use one of his paintings for my yaouri fic. and then the part where their conversation drifts away from the drawing topic is because i ran out of things to say and also i needed them to move onto the next thing i wanted them to do

oh, the voice thing is next! v2's voice is perfectly fine by the time of the 7-3 fic, but in the 4-4 fic, it was fucked up. i needed a reason as to why v2 would restore his voice and the answer is v1 just likes it. v1 likes to listen to him a lot. it also likes to make him shut up but like lovingly

oh, from one of the glitched text, i transcribed "play nice" as "pʰle͡j na͡js" partly from that 1 time i took a linguistics course and they made me transcribe those sounds as e͡j etc instead of whatever online dictionaries transcribe it as, and then that just stuck with me. i also had a moment while transcribing "play" as like hey wait a minute! air releases when i pronounce the p in play, so i should add the symbol for that

i have that outfit in my closet! no pictures but i know exactly what it looks like. sadly have been unable to find an image that looks like my dress online

i have also had a scene where once v2 finally dresses up v1, his pet name for it is just doll. like. yeah. i havent found an excuse to get v2 to do that though

(v1 is just laying down on a couch during this scene)

oh yeah i had v1 teasingly call v2 a sculpture but didn't know exactly how to get it to do that. i mean i figured it out but yeah. i dont know if this was a planned thing that never came to fruition or something i made the fuck up just now (memory not the best) but they wouldve played around a bit with the actual sculptures in the room and comparisons wouldve been made

aaand that's the end of the chapter. i dont have any further thoughts on this

and the below screenshot is the alternate petting scene where v2 overheats. i instead moved the overheating to the next chapter. v2 cannot handle this amount of affection (yet) (he unwillingly gets trained to tolerate more before he gets far too happy about it and ceases to like function for a bit) (thanks v1)

who wants to see me liveblog my reaction to my own fic

[liloinkoink]

i love your writing agh. ive always wondered what your process is- like, on starting to write a fic, do you set up notes for the universe or the scene or do you just write jump in and build on the first draft? i just think that stuff is interesting to talk about

ooh thanks for asking! it's a really fun question i would be happy to answer. i will say, there's really two main ways i approach writing, so i'll tell you about both. im going ot mostly use lamplight pieces as an example since lamplight is on my mind, but feel free to ask me abt other fic as well

.....im gonna readmore this bc otherwise itll be long, but the tl;dr of my process is a focus on the question "what's the point?"

so, point. usually when i write something, i try to have an outline, but i rarely stick to them exactly. take 20 questions from lamplight (picked bc its like, 500 words, so if you dont know it its a quick read). i didnt make an outline for this one bc it's so short, but if i did, id have probably said something like...

ren and martyn traveling sometime in the middle of the plot. introduce the way they communicate--lighting up for yes/happiness, dimming for no/displeasure. make it clear the fire is ren despite the fact martyn isn't using his name, include the fact ren is a god (but martyn is still martyn about this), include martyn's armor being enchanted by ren

what im doing with this outline is three things. one, the literal plot. two, the details i think are most important to include, three (and most vitally) the purpose of the scene.

as i said, to me, the most important question in planning writing (or in writing in general) is "what's the point?"

20 questions had a lot of different driving points, since i was trying to introduce basically the entire concept of the au in a short amount of words. ren's mode of communication, status as a god, and allusions to his powers, plus his relationship to martyn, their general situation... when i opened notes to write 20 questions, i asked "why am i telling you this? what's the point of writing this?" and the answer was "introduce lamplight," so that's what this fic was.

in most of my oneshots, the point is usually some emotion im trying to evoke or an analytical idea i want to share. the points are, honestly, usually what i start with when planning these. theyre me going i need you to understand this, so how am i going to tell it to you? the point of the rhythm of cold fists for example is that i think scar threw the finale fight, so i was trying to examine what would have lead him to make that decision.

(this is the oneshot i thought was quickest to explain the point of, originally i picked a different one and this paragraph was MUCH longer)

in longer stuff i usually keep notes like.... an upcoming lamplight piece (if you dont mind spoilers) im considering is this

first few days of traveling, before the inn scene and ren is in a lanter. martyn accidentally drops ren into water/a river. establish ren's fire cant be put out + ren and martyn have a more comfortable relationship than normal paladins and gods (cuz other paladins would Not get away with this). martyn's trying to decide if he's fine with following ren and being able to laugh this off is how he does that

so ive asked myself: whats the point of this scene? well, martyn is trying to figure out if he likes ren or not in the first week of meeting him, or if swearing himself to ren in a moment of desperation was equal to / worse than the place they were escaping. he cant talk to ren and find out ren's a decent guy, so hes going to have to find out through an accidental test of ren's character: royally fucking up as a paladin and seeing how the god hes following handles it. its also establishing a worldbuilding detail (ren cant be put out) on top of defining their relationship. lots of points being made here in both this specific instance and the world/plot at large

for all this ive said abt lamplight and outlines... none of lamplight until this week has had outlines. ive been mostly just jumping into my third life fic with no plan, driven literally EXCLUSIVELY by asking "what is the point?" and a desperate need to answer it

often with unoutlined pieces, this is paired with a specific visual i want to achieve. the tavern piece was more visual than point driven, and the visual was... actually the idea of embers in the burning building surrounding martyn like fireflies. i abandoned that visual for the idea of ren materializing in the flame, however, bc once i thought of that it became the driving visual i needed to see realized instead

i actually abandon details like that a lot in my writing. ill plot a scene based on 10 details and 2 points, and ill change 9 of those details because i found different ones while the points don't really budge. honestly, i hardly even look at my outlines when im actively writing--ill reference them when i start a new scene, but theyre really more for organizing my thoughts into clear points. my missing or obstructed outline doesnt look anything at all like what ive written, but the points of the story are all in-tact.

...this is long enough as is so i wont talk abt my thoughts on first drafts and editing them, but i do have them. i hope this was interesting to you, bc i had a lot of fun thinking about it!

[gardenofsinners]

mahoyo! spoilers under the cut

tldr, mahoyo is really really good. if you’re a fan of any of type moon’s works, you’ll enjoy it immensely. buy it NOW.

i’ll preface this with my thoughts on the more broader aspects that appeal to Me As A Reader, before i go into the story. the overall translation felt really good. it was completely in line with the lingo i’m aware of from type moon’s usual works, and they did a really good job actually skirting around honorifics (and the dreaded Big Sis translation). obviously many words can be said about Sizuki and Yamasiro, but that’s beside the point.

the big issue is really with proofreading. there’s a lot of typos and other issues, which i’ll say is a result of the simultaneous release and a rushed schedule. i think these are easily fixed, but i dont think it ruins the overall experience that much. that being said:

i enjoyed it! while not my favorite due to its overall lighter tone, it still set out what it Wanted To Do. mahoyo was nasu’s first work, and he used it to get into the heart of his universe: mages. does it do a good job at this? id say Yeah. i think that it gets a little overzealous with explanations, but thats why soujyuro’s there. it explains the things you Need to know, and allows you to get yourself into the world.

on soujyuro, the characters are honestly some of nasu’s best just in terms of charm. every side character makes themself really visible despite the small cast, and it leads to you really enjoying the plethora of side moments the story gives you inbetween the main points. the one about soujyuro possibly working at a scam job is probably my favorite, just because of how it culminates all those characters into one scenario, and it ends on a really good note too there.

aoko as a protagonist is a joy. i’m always a sucker for Mean Women, and her character is really interesting after reading tsukihime, where she’s only caring to the one person in front of her. hell, even in her melty blood story modes, she’s still a little mean but in the way that’s kind at first glance. seeing her be Unabashedly An Asshole, especially when touko’s existence and personality stayed pretty much the same 9 years later in kara no kyoukai. the fact that you get to visibly see some of that kindness of dealing with soujyuro begin here to finally get to the end point of tsukihime is so cool, and really shows that nasu put care into that aspect.

alice was also a surprise favorite. her abilities are rad as hell (though, im still a little confused at aoko having called them Magic.) and the reveal at the end was such a big surprise i dont even wanna say it just in case someone’s reading this and Hasn’t Read It. her and aoko in the aquarium was a really good scene as well (insert joke about yuri aquariums) and her friendship with aoko is so fun to watch considering their Weird Circumstance Of Being Mages Who Will Kill Eachother. it ends up for a really enjoyable dichotomy and i like her a lot. Transgender i think

soujyuo. i dont know why i thought i wouldn’t be too interested in him but he grew on me FAST. his cute little expressions and his super upbeat personality led to him being Really Fucking Good. i’m super interested in his backstory as well, his life in the mountains being taken away after his father(?) died and soujyuro asked about why they were there. knowing how he’s a precursor to all of the other tm protagonists makes me think he was being trained in demon hunting or otherwise a la the nanaya, which would be a very interesting backstory for him.

on the lore side, i can’t say much due to how much i knew going in. however, seeing The Counter Force be against true magic makes sense and was cool for me to connect the dots on, even if the novel itself doesnt follow up on it and you’re just supposed to Know if you’ve read or will read stay night. its fun. i mentioned it before but it was a little funny to have alice cut off aoko before she could talk about all the true magics in detail. we will never know anything about the first or fourth.

it’s pacing felt a little fast. i really did want to spend more time with these characters and it felt like it ended fairly quickly at the end. i think the action doesnt rise as much as it could. i think that may also be an issue of Knowing Touko And Aoko Get Out Fine At The End, which i did get pretty worried for soujyuro at the end there but in a twist that was actually pretty out of left field for how i know nasus stories going, the whole kuonji estate gets to stick together after the fact. overall i think i still enjoy knk and tsukihime over it, but i think it has a broader appeal.

as a final note, koyama’s art style is an absolute wonder to look at. the personality he puts into his artwork is really strong, and all the expressions and such were absolutely amazing. its hard for me to say whether i prefer his art to the combination work him and takeuchi do for kagetsu tohya onward, it’s a nice change of pace. the backgrounds especially had me constantly in awe, especially the sweeping shots of misaki’s hills, it was incredible to look at every second of the way.

really, all i can say is type-moon is amazing as usual. and i really, really cant wait for not only red garden, but any future vns they put out (obviously the mahoyo trilogy, but… i do wanna see some new ips from nasu. it’s been since technically fate since we’ve gotten a whole new cast of characters from him)

[eulangelo]

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling​)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ] 

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post. 

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with. 

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 4 Episode 3: Gang of Secret

(Spoilers below)

-So they just beat a villain, and Ladybug is acting SUS. Like she doesn't Want to leave yet. Hmm

-Chat noir YOU SLICK MOFO. (I dare not ruin it, because I am laughing at it)

-She is still not over her break up. So I guess Lukanette stans, get whatever remains of your juice while its there.

-Ladybug ... sweetie. Do you need a hug? Cause you look like you need a hug.

-Chat noir realizing his idea was NOT very smart after that.

-Ladybug ruining experiences for a LOT of couples today

-Chat noir trying to help, but Ladybug aint telling him

-They are going swimming now. Chat noir for once, is not thrilled about hanging out with Ladybug... thats a YIKES.

-She has goggles and a towel, so she did go swimming.

-The Kwami see her in pain, QUICK, TEAR DOWN THE PHOTOS.

-She said no tho, but clearly sad about it.

______________

-So Alya is giving the girl posse the rundown on Marinette. Claiming she is lovesick.

-Rose thought they were cute, and Juleka says nothing. Is it wrong that I want Juleka to have an opinion? Whether positive OR negative

-Juleka is like "Yea, he is sad." shows picture of sad Luka. Though to be fair, that is a decent pic of him.

- So Alya is LAST to know. Double ouch.

-Marinette was crying in the bathroom, baby girl no!

-MARINETTE OMG! HOW DOES SHE HAVE THAT?!

-Alya out here trying to be a good friend. By showing Marinette she has support. (She aint even mad that she was last to find out. She is more concerned about her friend)

-THEY HAVE A SECRET HANDSHAKE!

-They calling her now

-She didn't answer. She is too sad

-So she won't detransform and talk with tikki. Can I PLEASE give her a hug. She needs it.

-Yo... Marinette has zero concern for herself and only detransformed when she thought it was causing strain on Tikki.

-Mylene offering friendship bracelets. Never change dear.

-Okay so are they witches now?

-Alix is like 'Can I not be in a ritual, Id rather give her some juice'

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-Marinette sad cause Ladybug can't have a boyfriend. Cause even if she dated Adrien, it would be the same as it was with Luka.... Tikki knows that aint true but can't say why. UGH! This is pain

-Did Tikki just confirm Kwami can't fall in love? NO! MY CHEESECAKE!

-OH S***! So now she gonna be Perma ladybug?!

-So the girls showed up as soon as ladybug left. This isn't good.

-And of course Marinette is TOO GOOD at making s***, so they curious about the new dollhouse

-OH S*** THAT WAS CLOSE!

-And things going to s*** in 10, 9, 8

-Oh no... this... this is not good. Marinette sweetie no. No please.

-Look can we take a second and APPRECIATE HOW HARD ALYA AND THE GIRLS ARE GOING FOR MARINETTE! Did the writers see all of the alya salt and say 'Yea f*** that noise'? Cause I feel like they did.

-Okay so I know Marinette just didn't want to expose her secret... but damn girl... THAT was harsh.

-Marinette literally going scorched earth for being Ladybug... Okay, this episode PHYSICALLY hurts me. SHE DOESNT MEAN IT GIRLS. PLEASE DONT HATE HER.

-Shadowmoth could you not. Like seriously?! COULD YOU F***ING NOT! MY BABY GIRL IS IN PAIN AND I WILL GO THROUGH MY SCREEN AND [Redacted]

-And then you'll have to f*** sideways.

-So first 5 way akumatization

-So can we talk about how the last 3 akuma were after the secrets of Marinette. well 2, but the other one was Adrien. But still. A Lot of Hawkmoth saying 'F*** this individual in particular'

-THEY JUST WANT HER TO STAY THEIR FRIEND! OMG I CANT EVEN BE MAD.

-I wish I could understand Juleka. Can someone please just translate with what she is saying. It was funny in truth, but I want to know

-OH Timebreaker and Horrificator are BACK. Yay, I missed them

-Just realized how AMAZING their Gang of akuma are. Like damn, thats like a super team of evil. Yea sure

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-Not to nitpick, but Marinette, you should have led with that box.

-TRIXX IS GONNA USE HIS POWERS OMG FINALLY! A PURE KWAMI POWER. We haven't seen that since Plagg.

-Damn that was a really boss illusion trixx. But question, how was that out of control? Like if anything, that was BETTER then when the user used it.

-Trixx makes a really good point. WHY DOES HE NEED A HOLDER AGAIN?!

-OH, HE WAS LYING. EVERYTHING LOOKS F***ING BANANAS.

-Trixx is now my second favorite Kwami.

-PLAGG! MY SON! HE IS IN THE EPISODE! I MISSED HIM. Also, surprisingly knows.

-Plagg cares about other Kwami.

-Adrien just chilling, watching tv. XD

-Timebreaker casually committing murder

-Hold it, Okay so why are so many people in school right now? Ivan is there, chloé and Sabrina? Oh my tomato son too. Can someone tell me wtf is up with this school schedule?

-Fragrance/Reflekta Power combo is amazing.

-Wow, this gang is MEGA DANGEROUS

-So yea Ladybug. Maybe... idk... TALK WITH CHAT NOIR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS!?

-So they really gotta plan this time.

-Ladybug smart to disarm Ladywifi.

-Ladybug trying to get lady wifi to fight the akuma. This is touching

-SHE DID IT! ALYA BROKE FREE! LIKE A MOTHERF***ING BOSS.

-No, shadow moth, you's a b***

-Loving this Alya- Ladybug friendship

-Chat noir looking boss by fighting 3 akuma at once while on the phone. Chat noir Leveled up.

-So Ladybug can now pull the miraculous out of anywhere because she has guardian status. Thats a cool trick. Makes it much easier.

-Thats a secret tho, Alya got trusted with a big secret.

-RENA ROUGE IN THE HOUSE!

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-And Chat noir is captured... but in his defense. He did have to fight 4 at once this time. So that took longer than usual. So no shame kitty. You did well.

-Lucky charm is an inner tube

-Clever illusion. POINTS! Using the goal of the akuma to distract. Alya gets gull points!

-WOW! REALLY CLEVER ILLUSION.

-Ladybug suave catch of rose tho.

-So that was probably the best Group akuma attack since Heroes day (and honestly it probably tops it)

________

-Marinette patches things up with her friends. That is a relief. She was able to somewhat explain her issues up to the point. Without spilling the details.

-Marinette has some really good friends.

-Alya knows that not everything has been told... Hold on DONT TELL ME.

-Oh wow, Marinette is breaking down.... My poor baby girl is hurting real bad.

-OH S*** SHE SAID IT! SHE TOLD HER! SHE TOLD ALYA!

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wow this episode... This one hurt. This one hurt a LOT. But also, it was really good.

Okay so, 10/10.

I haven't been this enthralled with an episode in a long time.

Are there one or two nitpicks? Absolutely.

Do I wish somethings were not mentioned? A little bit.

Am I glad Alya knows? Out of everyone, she is the second person I wanted Marinette to tell.

(The first one being chat noir, but lets face it, we kind of knew that won't be happening for a while.)

So can Alya salt stop now? Cause Alya CLEARLY showed how much of a motherf***ing boss she is.

But damn I didn't feel this emotional since Chat blanc.

I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THE AKUMA WERE REPEATS.

That was OBJECTIVELY, one of the best episodes in the entire series.

This made me rethink my favorite episode. THATS HOW GOOD IT WAS.

Season 4, You keep doing what you are doing. Your writing (minus some very minor nitpicks) has been pretty damn good.