#i. dont know if this counts as disordered eating or not

[spamsandsuch]

theyre eating spaghetti

[mxrtified777]

uhmmm. ever heard of knocking

[tomorrowillbeyou]

so excited to go home for christmas abd have my mum and dad and nan probably as well make comments about my weight

[honorary-twat]

Diet culture is so fucking disgusting. I'm googling recommended calories intakes trying to figure out how short I'm falling and every fucking website I'd want to use to calculate how many calories I really need is all fucking "CALORIE DEFFICIANT!!! LOOSE WEIGHT FAST" "RECOMMENDED CALORIES TO LOSE WEIGHT" "CALORIE WEIGHT LOSS CALCULATOR"

If I lose any more, I'm gonna be having fainting spells and shit. I'm literally eating an 8th of what I should be. I love being a chef, but it doesn't leave much room to really enjoy any food.

My face is way too skinny, I'm all sunken and shit. I'm cold all the time, I'm bitchy and I'm constantly exhausted. And I'm so anxious about how little I eat it's stopping me from eating. My house is full of food, but there's no dishes, and im too tired to clean anything. And being that this is America all my food is fuckin garbage anyway, none of it has real nutrients or shit.

I'm literally crying cause ive lost so much weight and I don't know how to replace it. I'm gonna have to overhaul my entire lifestyle to accommodate more meals and build habits and it just sounds like so much fuckin work.

Everyone wants what they don't have, I guess.

[get-more-bald]

family when I stop eating in general because I'm stressed all the time: omg skinny queen!!!

[baileycatarina]

How is it that I'm always Shocked whenever I eat real food and end up feeling So Much Better mentally. It's literally every time. "Dumb Idiot learns (for the thousandth time) that taking care of yourself makes you feel better more at 11"

[dykefish]

my death will be a public spectacle.IM PUNCHING THE WALL.

[conellu]

Weight loss mentions in tags

[nerice]

i know it's probably a good sign but my body needs so much more food lately i don't quite know how to handle it..

[kittx0kitt-diet]

! Calling all ed accounts !

I know this isn't going to be seen as much as I think it should but it is important anyway. There is an account going by fuzzypatrolking that is harassing ed based accounts. They are claiming that this isnt a safe space for us and that we use it as an excuse to indoctrinate children into ed culture.

Many of us say minors DNI and block anyone who is a minor

even my therapist isnt mad at me for looking through ed tumblr (yes fuzzypatrolking I have a therapist go cry about it)

My ed developed from physical and sexual abuse when I was just two years old which destroyed any positive thinking about my body, having other adults who can relate to my experience is helpful and counts as a safe space

If you dont want children looking at ed content thats on you the parent not the rest of the internet... parental controls exist.

Many people who have ed accounts vent and don't give tips, we never body shame each other or others, its an eating disorder that changes OUR preception of ourselves not other people

Fuzzypatrolking also claims the accounts they have interacted with have called them fat... which most likley means they are interacting with minors

We understand we are mentally ill, we never claimed to deny that. Most of us are in therapy those who arent like they claim are most likley minors who dont know how to startr conversations.

Of course I am going to get mad at the whole account reporting. I have had 10 accounts termed in the past 4 years and have then lost a lot of amazing people who knew what I was going through and could support me when I was mentally unwell (not that my feelings are theirs to control)

If they are so mad that we are harming minors why are they not talking about fake ana coaches who actually prey on vulnerable teen girls to get nudes in the form of 'body checks'

Stop harassing mentally ill people who are finding the support they need to eventually recover. You are not helping. You are harming. Instead of talking about the real causes of eating disorders you push that blame onto those who experience the same eating disorders.

[icarusredwings]

The Master does things in 4s.

A headcanon.

"Elaborate"

Oh, I will.

Tapping, knocking, steps, snacks, kisses, etc.

He's spent the last thousands of years with this beat in his head so subconsciously He's picked up some bad habits that revolve around it.

In this essay I will be-

I can argue that Simm is the worst off and that the poor guy is constantly having fits about things not being in 4s. The prime minister demands that all of his meals be in 4s. Theres only three pieces of chicken? No. He wants 4.

He doesn't sleep unless it's 4,8, or 12 hours, no in between, and gets upset if woken up at 6 or 10 hours. We already know about the tapping, but it's how he knocks on doors, how many steps he takes at a time, how he eats his snacks in rations of 4 8 12 16.

You can give him 16 chicken nuggets, but dont you DARE give him 17. He's actively flipped tables before because of this, and if he really is tired or masking, he will only eat the even number and throw the odd one at someone.

Dhawan snaps and claps in sets of 4. He humms it sometimes on beat to self soothe. His hands flap when he can't have something in 4s and religiously gives everyone 4 ice cubes in their tea. The tea gets steeped for 4 minutes or 8 minutes. He'll explode if you ask yours to be steeped for 5 6 or 7. He also has 4 books on the bedside and 8 by his desk.

Missy likes to hear her heels click 4 times as she walks and will purposly take smaller steps just so she can land on a multiple of 4. 4 tea sandwitches, 4 types of lip stick, 4 pieces of jewlery.

She even swings her umbrella 4 times when bored. Hers is a lot more tamer compared to the boys because women with these disorders often are less "hyperactive" and less likely to make a scene than men are. (Statistically)

Hell, even Sax subconsciously has an issue with it while living with 14. He applies his eyeliner twice on each eye to make 4. He forces 14 to kiss him in sets of 4, he constantly is arranging the pillows on the bed to only he 4 of them, and well- theres something else with 14 but im going to keep this post PG 13.

Now he can have 2 of things instead of 4, but some things (that don't hurt anyone) are still allowed to be 4s OR more. For example, the pillows on the bed, kisses, and ice cubes in his tea. He can now handle there being 6 pillows instead of 4, receiving a multiple of 2 kisses (10/16) instead of 4s(8/12). You have to have it on an even number, though, or he'll force another.

He doesn't know why. He just DOES. And he won't tell you "because of the beating" because to him, it's all done unconsiously-

"There needs to be 4 pillows."

"Why?"

"I- Look, I don't know, okay!? There just needs to be 4 pillows!"

But anyone with half of a brain cell (who knows about the drums) does. 14 knows and is slowly trying to get him away from emotional disregulation because of it by working towards sets of 2s instead. It's a lot more socially acceptable for sets of 2s to be done than 4s. Even regular humans want packs of 2 or dishes that comes with 2 of something, so it's a lot easier and less stressful for both the Master and everyone around him.

Now he doesn't cause a scene at McDonald's if there's a ton of ice cubes in his drink instead of 4. Thank god he doesn't count his food much anymore, either. It's why he's been able to put on a bit of weight. But still, if you give him 17 nuggets, you're getting one thrown at your head. (So 14 goes out of his way to give him an 18th)

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[axoluxy]

hellloooooo!!!

hope youre doing well:) can i request a jd x fem reader with body dysmorphia or anorexia? mine is getting rly bad but if you are triggered by this dont worry about it!!

tysm and love ya;)

hello yes, it's not triggering for me at all! i was actually thinking about this like a month or two ago! i hope you get better, if you need to talk my inbox is open!

"I Just Want to Help." "What If I Don't Want Help?" (J.D. x G.N!Reader)

summary; j.d. notices everything, especially when it comes to you. imagine his surprise when he catches on to your eating disorder warnings; eating disorder, body dysmorphia, swearing, talk of mental help and illness, not wanting to be better word count; 1.6k

2nd person

You had expressed to J.D. how you wanted to lose some weight and he encouraged you, but he also made sure you were comfortable. He wanted you to know you were perfect no matter what, because you were. He would tell you, “If you want to lose a few pounds that’s fine, you’re beautiful no matter what.” and he would kiss you, he would hold you close.

Now, J.D. is a very observant guy, especially when it comes to you. He was obsessed with you. So when you were skipping meals, he noticed pretty quickly. Of course he did.

He also saw the way you looked at yourself whenever faced with a mirror, or seeing a photo of the two of you, or anything that had to do with looking at yourself. He noticed how you’d cross your arms to cover your stomach, how you would close your thumb and pinky around your wrist, and lift your thighs slightly off whatever you were sitting on. He noticed you started exercising excessively and all the colour had drained from your skin. He noticed how you seemed to have forgotten important things, how you always looked lightheaded, how you were pulling out clumps of your own hair. He noticed how you would never let him touch you anymore, like the thought of his touch disgusted you. You acted like you were allergic to food, you’d drink at least 10 glasses of water a day.

Everything small or large, he noticed!

There was one mirror in your room and it had been flipped around to face the wall. When he asked you about it, you said you didn’t notice and he left it at that even though he knew you were lying.

J.D. was concerned. You, his partner, the person he loved the most, was practically killing themselves over something so small?

At least that’s how it was in his eyes. It wasn’t small to you, no not at all. It took over your whole life. You wanted to look like the girls in the magazines, or the popular girls at your school. You envied them, you hated them, you were angry that they got to eat whatever they want and they would stay under 105 pounds.

It all felt so unfair, what made you so different? Why did you have to deal with the humiliation of wanting to buy a bag of candy and feel like others were watching you in contempt and disgust?

You wanted to tell your boyfriend, you loved him and you wanted him to help but you were so ashamed. You didn’t want anyone to notice, you didn’t want to be a bother. Yet at the same time, you had prayed that J.D. would find out and help you get better.

You hated how exhausted this made you, you felt your thoughts contradict themselves all the time. You wanted to be healthy, to be better, but at the same time, you didn’t feel sick enough. You wanted to be worse. It didn’t start out like this, you didn’t intend to stop eating all over, it started with skipping some dinners, then breakfasts, then using the excuse of not having enough money to pay for lunch. J.D. would offer you money, saying it wasn't too expensive but you declined every single time.

After some time, you were repulsed at the thought of food, looking at it made you nauseous. Yet, seeing other, thinner people, eating made you jealous.

He couldn’t just tell you to eat, no that wouldn’t work. So he did the next best thing, he guilted you into eating. The next time you came over to his place, he had made sure he made a bunch of things to eat. Sure, it was a little manipulative, but it was the best he could think of doing.

“I made food for us.” He told you, holding a pot of baked macaroni and cheese.

“Oh, I’m not really that hungry. Thank you though Honey.” You sighed, you had done so well, you were doing perfect actually, you didn’t need all this. You just wanted to finish your homework and sleep.

“Not hungry? You haven’t eaten all day.” He pointed out to you, making you nervous. Had he really noticed?

“Yeah well…” You were going to give an excuse but J.D. quickly cut you off.

“Do you not like my cooking? Is it that? Is it not good enough for you? You’d rather starve than eat anything made by me?” He pestered, trying to be as frustrating and guilt-inducing as possible.

“No, no of course not!” You try to reassure him, he didn’t need the reassurance though. This was going exactly how he wanted it to.

“Well it really seems like it right now, can you at least try it?” He slides you a plate and a fork.

You sighed, giving in. If it made J.D. happy, you’d do it.

So that continued for a few weeks. Every few days you’d go to J.D. 's house, he’d cook something for the two of you and if you declined, he’d guilt you into eating it. You were starting to get a little upset that he kept doing that, you eventually realised that he was guilting you into this, so you confronted him about it.

“J.D., why do you keep guilting me into eating the food you cook?” You confront him, after he does the same routine to you this evening. He sighed and put the dish of leftover stuffing and turkey from Thanksgiving on the table.

“Because you’re making me feel like you don’t like what I make for you.” He excused, putting on a subtle frown, but enough for you to notice.

“No, that’s not it. What’s the actual reason?” You cut through his bullshit and stare at him with your arms crossed and a sour expression.

“You don’t fucking eat, [Name]. If I’m not giving you food, you don’t eat. That isn’t healthy!”

“Yeah, well neither is having a slushy every other day!” You counter, how were you supposed to take advice from him of all people?

“You can’t starve yourself, you’ve collapsed with me like 3 times in the past month! God knows how many times you do when I’m not with you!” He says, exasperated.

You were silent, stunned even. You didn’t know what to say, and you didn’t want to affirm his reasoning. He was never like this though, he never outwardly expressed his concerns for you, even though you knew he still cared.

“I’m not even gonna try that ‘Do it for me.’ bullshit because I know it’s not going to do anything. If anything, do it for yourself! You’re sick. You’re destroying your metabolism. If anything, not eating is going to do the opposite of what you want!”

You stayed silent for a moment. You were both silent, until he started to speak again.

“I get you’re insecure, my love, but you’re not handling this the right way. You’re not being healthy.” He tries to reason with you, trying to understand that you’re probably also not in a good mental state at the moment.

“Since when did you care about being healthy? Last time I checked, you destroy everything around you, including yourself. So why do I have to take health advice from you?” You pushed an accusatory finger to his chest.

J.D. was getting a little frustrated with your excuses, he didn’t want you to stay like this. It was bad for the both of you and now it was causing you guys to fight.

“Because,” He let out a frustrated sigh, he held his face in his hands and ran them up through his hair. “I hate seeing you like this! You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and you’re shrivelling up your body to meet these unrealistic standards! You might never have the body of a model, and guess what [Name]? That’s okay!”

“No, it’s not okay, it’s unfair!”

“What’s unfair is what you’re doing to yourself. You won’t even let me touch you, I want to worship you and you’re pushing me away…”

“Why?” You give up on the yelling match, you needed to give in because you knew J.D. He’d keep this going until you couldn’t talk.

He sighed and a small smirk found its way on his face. He was happy you were finally giving in.

“Because I love you, darling. You helped me, so I’m trying to help you. You’re the only one I can trust and I want you to trust me too.” His hand lightly grazes your left shoulder, he looks at you for the ‘Okay’ to touch you.

You nodded slowly and his small smirk turned into a wide smile. He instantly wrapped you in his arms, he kissed your temple and held you so your back was pressed against his chest. J.D. was relieved that you would finally let him touch you again, and even better, you were enjoying it.

“I do trust you.” You let your eyes close on you as you lean into J.D. He pressed a few kisses to your neck and you sighed as you felt his breath against it.

“What can I do to help you? You tell me.”

“I don’t know…” You admitted, you didn’t know what to do about this.

“How about we start with talking about this, okay?”

“Okay.”

[guppybibi]

It's Showbiz, Baby.

𖦹 pairing: Kita Shinsuke x fem!reader

𖦹 word count: 2460

𖦹 content: shinsuke is in deep denial, slowburn…very slowburn. hints(?) of body image issues and eating disorders. shinsuke is insanely oblivious. mild cursing.

𖦹 notes: a lot of the farming terms are from google…i i dont know how it works. Also just posted it on my AO3 ! (hearts4abbie). I apologize for any misinformation about the topics here, all of these are from google. next one is them having a silly 'date' tee hee:p

✧. ┊    Part 1 ┊ Part 2

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

It was the break of dawn, and Shinsuke was already up and about in the fields; sleep was still in his system. He yawns as he tends to his rice grains, spraying on some fertilizer to increase the yield. Adjusting his hat that keeps him cool while under the sun, he yawns while intently watching the sky as he waits for the sun to rise. To his own surprise, he was met with a light tap on his back which obscurely startled him. His body instinctively does a little jump, yet his face said otherwise as it was still the same as before. Turning around to see who it was, expecting it to be his family. You were standing right before him in humble clothing, one wouldn’t think of you as a viral sensation with how you looked like right now. Shinsuke mentally shook his head, he shouldn’t stereotype that all celebrities prance around in designer clothing..

“Um..Shinsuke, right? Can I ask you something?” You asked in a rather meek tone which Shin didn’t really expect, sure he had already met you yesterday but he couldn’t just automatically assume how a person acted based off of one single interaction. He won’t lie, he has watched multiple of your movies with his sister and you coincidentally played all of the roles that required you to be rude and mean. He just..expected you to act that way in real life as well since you were so good at playing those types of roles. It was like you were meant to be playing the role of an antagonist in every movie you star in, yet the figure in front of him tells him a completely different story. “Yes, what do you need Ms.- um..Y/N.'' He curses himself in his head when he slips up, he had permission from her to address her casually; after all they seemed to be about the same age as each other. “Well I’m sorry for bothering you if I did but I heard there’s a plaza nearby? Do you know the directions to it?” You ask, fiddling with your hair as you anticipate his answer.

“The plaza..? Well I’m not so sure which plaza you’re referring to but the nearest one here is about an hour away..” He replies and gets a disappointed look in return, hearing you mutter an “oh..”. The air of dismay surrounding you struck something in him, he wasn’t sure he knew what it was but he couldn’t stand seeing you feel that way. He assumes it’s just his hospitable nature striking a chord in his system, a lady was in need of help; his client out of all people so he needed to help. “I’m actually stopping by there later this afternoon to drop off some deliveries, maybe you could tag along?” He offers, quickly catching your attention. “I’d love to! Thank you so much, I’ll pay you-""No need to pay me with money, I don’t need it.” He bites his tongue to stop himself from offering her to help her around the farm or cleaning his home, remembering that she was a guest and a celebrity. He shouldn’t let her lift a finger, she was here to relax; not to scrub the floors of their porch. Though you notice he was about to say something, urging him to continue. Humans had the right to speak after all! Unless he was an alien–no that was stupid..You couldn’t help but visualize him as an alien though..”No no! Go on, I’m not that sensitive. I’m sure I can handle whatever you were going to say.” You insist, the white haired man still looking unsure. “I..Maybe you could help with scrubbing the floors..?” He suggests, his voice barely audible as he tries to avoid your gaze. “That’s it?” You question, tilting your head to the side.

Shinsuke looks at you, raising another thin little brow. You spoke of the chore like it wasn’t a laborious task, sure it wasn’t the hardest one but it still required a good amount of effort. “You don’t really need to-” “No! I- I mean, I’ll do it!” Shinsuke knew that he had no place to argue back, whenever he had disagreements with women he always somehow managed to lose. Whether it be with his grandma or sister, it seems like it hasn’t changed until now. “Alright, I’ll take the silence as a yes. When do I start?” You ask, looking oddly excited to do such a chore. Shinsuke thinks about how his whole family is still asleep right now, not to be awake in a few hours or so. It would be best if she started while his sister was asleep so she doesn’t go batshit crazy when she sees her idol scrubbing the floors of her home. “If it’s okay with you, you can start now. When you’re finished, come back to me.” He instructs while you nod in agreement.

“The things you need are in the closet over there, thank you. If you don’t want to do it, you can always stop whenever.” “I’m not made out of glass, I can scrub a few floors here and there! I’ll be back.” Then you set off, Shinsuke could see your figure from afar–on your knees as you cleaned the floors. He can imagine his dear grandma scolding him for making a guest such as her clean their home. Eventually, you finish the task given to you; putting away all the supplies you used and proudly standing before the now squeaky floors. Looking over to the field, you see that Shinsuke was already pretty far. Running over to him, following his instructions earlier; you weren’t so sure if you were panting because you’ve been running too quickly for a while now or if your body is just tired from the task you just did. You always felt tired, you didn’t know why. Everyday you just felt so low on energy, like you were about to collapse and fall asleep. It never really worried you, you weren’t a sickly person–even as a child.

You stop in your tracks once you reach Shinsuke, who is still doing farm work. Hands on your knees and sweat beading on your forehead as you pant, you looked like you ran a marathon. A concerned expression arises on his face, about to reach out to help you before you start waving your hands. “I-I’m alright! I finished scrubbing the floors, they’re squeaky clean!” You babble, hands on your hips as you finally managed to lift your body up. “Um..alright, thank you Y/N. I’m actually about to finish up so we can have breakfast together? It’s 7AM already, unless you’ve already had your fill before coming up to me earlier?” Have you eaten yet? You don’t really remember, it’s not like you keep track of everything you do daily. You shook your head no, feeling your stomach grumble at the idea of food. You blush as you hear your tummy growl, wanting to shame your own belly from loudly announcing your hunger in front of your acquaintance. Shinsuke just smiles though, almost identical to the one his grandma always has. He doesn’t really notice the sounds of your stomach, not that he cares–it wasn’t any of his business. “Very well, come with me. I’ll just reheat some of the rice porridge we had last night, if that’s fine with you?” Rice porridge..It sounded nice, considering that the rice was made by them; a bunch of well trusted rice farmers–it must’ve been good. Yet the next words you blurted out next were quite different from what was on your mind. “How many calories does that have again?” You swore you sounded like a crazy health nut just now, realizing that it may have been interpreted as something rude. “It’s about 80 calories, I don’t see why it matters-” Stopping himself yet again, something felt weird..Shinsuke has never doubted himself, never. So why does he feel like he’s walking on eggshells when he’s around you?

Is it because you’re a literal leading light in the entertainment industry and could quickly trash his whole family’s name with a snap of a finger? No, with how you’ve acted so far; he can safely assume you wouldn’t do that over something so simple. However there really is something churning in the bottom of his stomach, you didn’t seem right to him. “80 calories huh..Well since I’m on vacation, I should treat myself to a good meal!” You mumble to yourself, shrugging as you watch and follow Shinsuke while you both trek back to his family home. You were honestly pretty surprised how welcoming he has been so far, is this how all province folk are? Wondering if his family was the same and that Shinsuke wasn’t an exception. You might as well move right here, this instant! “After you,” The bicolored man spoke, sliding the wooden door open carefully so as to not wake up his still sleeping family. Looking around his home as you step in, awe fills you once you see the traditional interior of the home. It felt strangely comforting, nothing you’ve ever felt even when staying at the grandest mansions back in the city. Everything truly has its own charm..”Make yourself at home, I’ll just heat up the food.” As Shinsuke excuses himself out of the room, while he heats up the food; the feeling in his stomach wouldn’t go away. Perhaps it was just hunger, it must’ve been.

He’s never felt this way in a rather long time, the feeling has a similar tinge to when he was looking after his volleyball team way back. Watching over them like a proud father, feeling obliged to take them under his wing. Or the first time he saw his little brother, light shining on the swaddled baby as Shinsuke thanked the Gods above them. Care. That was what he felt. But why did he care about you? You were a mere client to him, ones he came across with everyday. What exactly made you different? He just couldn’t put a finger on it..He decides that he’ll soon do what he thinks is best, questioning his family about it.

Having breakfast with you felt natural, chatting about your two contrasting lives surely kept you both entertained as you gulped down the meal. The calming aura surrounding you both that felt just right was disturbed when Kimiko entered the kitchen, still in her pajamas with bed hair as she rubs her eyes open. She stood by the doorway, staring at you; recognizing you almost immediately. It took everything in her not to pounce onto you in excitement, she doesn't even know what to do first–is she still dreaming? She pinches herself, hoping she wasn't in a dream.

“Good morning Kimiko.” Shinsuke greets, interrupting Kimiko’s buzz as he drinks some water. Then you figure it was time for you to greet her as well, it’d be awfully rude not to. “Good morni-” “OH MY GOD! I- And you're having breakfast with my brother!?” She even takes a double take to make sure you were really eating together with her brother and he didn't even bother to tell her! She couldn't believe this, it was practically betrayal! “I’m Kimiko, it's so so so nice to meet you- I’m honored-!” She blurts out, taking your hand and shaking it instinctively. She was in such a thrill she didn't even notice she was crossing your boundaries a little bit.

What she did notice is how bony your hands are, a punch from you would definitely hurt..The inner Kita family hospitality and concern arises in her system, looking down at your linked hands. They were veiny but that was normal, but someone of your age and height shouldn't be this skinny. She slowly sets your hand down, apologizing for her actions. “It's alright, no need to apologize. It's a pleasure meeting you Kimiko, your family has been nothing but great since I got here.” You commented, flashing her one of your signature soft smiles that made everyone melt.

“And, thank you Shinsuke for the meal. I’m going back to my cabin, I’ll get ready for the ride later.” You then excuse yourself and leave the two siblings alone, once Kimiko makes sure you're out of the vicinity she gives her brother a knowing smirk. “A ride, huh? Got a date?” Shinsuke shook his head no, he was just doing you a favor after all. “No, she's going to the plaza so I figured it’d be best if we go together.” He gets a disappointed sigh from Kimiko, huffing as her excitement dies down. “Awh..too bad, I thought my brother actually scored a date with a celebrity!” The bicolored man was unfazed, used to her sister's teasing. Shinsuke never really bothered about his love life, putting his work and family as his top priorities. He knew it was important but he had to set goals first.

“Ya know I got eyes on the back of my head, I know you have a thing for Y/N. To be honest, you really aren't the only one so I’m not surprised. I wouldn't mind her being my sister in law!” Her words made the man think, he simply believed that this was just infatuation. She was a beautiful young woman after all, the whole world was aware of that so it really wouldn't be anything extraordinary. He wasn't one to believe in things such as ‘love in first sight’, those were just things entertainment made up. Kimiko knew what her brother was thinking, annoyed at it..or she's just a ‘little’ bit of a hopeless romantic. “I know you're thinking this is just infatuation again, and I’m not pressuring you to start a thing with her or anything–but if you feel something for her then go for it. Take the chance.” Again, this made Shinsuke think. He knew she was right, still–he never really had the heart to go further as ‘friends’ with the people he met. Not that he was uneducated about it, he was honestly just a busy guy. The part of her being a celebrity set him off a little bit though, her life was far from private and quiet. The complete opposite of what he desired, he felt like it wouldn't work out in the long run. “Um..yes, alright. Though I do believe a ‘crush’ of some sort is formed over time thr-” “Yes yes, we get it! No need to do some rocket science explaining, now go prepare the packages. I’ll have breakfast and clean up.” She cuts him off, pushing him out of their humble family home. Shinsuke grumbles under his breath..

“Maybe for once in my life, the results won't be just a byproduct.”

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

[youre-a-total--poser]

Hey i was wondering if you write about mental illness? If so could you write a fic where Nat(mother figure) starts to notice that the teen reader isn’t eating as much and is losing weight. So she she confronts the reader and reader denies it and as weeks go by nat is trying to make reader eat but reader says their is nothing wrong with her. Also reader goes to school and peter also starts to notice so he tells nat cuz she is like the readers mom so then nat has enough and tells the team and they have an intervention and help the reader. I was thinking that the reader would be like an orphan and joined the avengers at 12 cuz they were a widow that nat recused so nat is like a mother figure and you can decide if peter and her are love interests. I totally understand if you dont want to write this it would just really help me a lot. Thanks!!!

Let Us Help You (Request)

Warnings: Eating Disorders and all the things relating to that Age: 15 Word Count: 2,050 Requests: Open Summary: Read the request and it will explain everything Requested by: Annonomys on Tumblr. I hope everything is okay my messages are always open if you or anyone else wants to talk. Date: 19/11/2023 A/N: I'm back at least I think I'm back I haven't really decided yet. I had a lot of stuff to deal with from starting college and life that I wanted to deal with first.

Sorry if this is terrible it's the first time that I've written anything in months so just bear with me while I get back into it.

I've opened the requests again so if anyone sent in a request from before can you send it in again

Masterlist

---⧗---

From the age of two, you were taken away from your parents and were trained in the Red Room. Up until the age of 14 killing, pain, fighting and hunger were all that you knew that was until Natasha Romanoff and Yelena Belova destroyed the Red Room and rescued you and the other girls who were there.

Since you were the youngest Natasha didn't know what do to with you so she ended up taking you back to the Avengers compound with her.

An agreement was made and they allowed you to stay with them. Everyone was nice to you and they tried their hardest to get you to open up to them but nothing really worked the only person who actually succeeded was Natasha.

She understood exactly what you went through since she went through the exact same thing. She helped you through the nightmares and the panic attacks.

After many months Natasha discovered that your parents perished in a terrible fire and you were an orphan now.

You were sad when you heard the news but not enough for it to have a major impact on your life since you couldn't even remember them besides it's not like you were alone you had Natasha and all the other Avengers taking care of you.

---⧗---

It was nearly 3 years since you were rescued from the Red Room and you still weren't used to your newfound freedom. You were living in a space place, had access to unlimited food, were allowed to go outside whenever you wanted and you even attended school.

Because you were allowed to eat whatever and whenever you wanted you gained quite a bit of weight. You planned to gain weight but not as much as what you were now and it wasn't until that when you, Steve and Sam went on a run and you couldn't even keep up with Sam anymore you knew that it was time for a change.

You didn't tell Natasha or anyone else about your new weight loss journey because you knew that they would tell you that you didn't need to lose any weight.

You started looking online for the most effective diets for teens but they all looked like they would be too much work so you decided that not eating and training all the time would be the quickest way to lose weight.

---⧗---

The first 2 days of your new weight loss journey went by fine. You pretended to be late for school so no one would question why you were only eating half a slice of toast. You didn't eat lunch at school then Natasha asked what you wanted for dinner you told her that you ate on your way home from school

It was going on 7 pm you made your way down to the gym and told Natasha that you were bored as an excuse to join in with hers and Steve's training session.

You originally thought that the weekends would be much harder to skip meals but after you forced yourself to eat two slices of toast so no one would question anything you told Natasha that you were going to Peter's so you both could work on homework together.

You were at Peters's for hours and when his aunt asked if you wanted to stay for dinner you told her that Natasha was taking you out for dinner later and when you got home you told Natasha that you had dinner at Peter's

---⧗---

A few months have passed and things obviously have been terrible maybe not all terrible but the majority of it has been.

---⧗---

It has finally become noticeable that you have lost so much weight and girls at school have been giving you compliments about how good you look. Those compliments instantly cancel out all the bad stuff that has been happening. Lying to your friends and family about what you're eating, all the headaches and dizzy spells, collapsing when you went on a run with Steve and the most embarrassing one of all when you passed out in gym class.

You only made it halfway through the school day before you had to go to the nurse since you had a bad headache and you were feeling so dizzy.

The school nurse phoned home and Natasha came and picked you up

You were told that Natasha was here and you made your way outside and over to her car. She didn't look happy maybe because it's been nearly every day for weeks that someone has had to come pick you up halfway through the school day.

She's been so distracted with work lately that she hasn't actually noticed that you haven't been eating and you've lost so much weight no one at home has really noticed and if they have they haven't said anything.

Before you could even get fully in the car she started interrogating you.

"What going on?" She asked.

"Nothing." You responded while putting on your seatbelt.

"Well, it must be something otherwise you wouldn't be asking to come home early every day. Just because I've been busy with work doesn't mean that I don't know what you've been doing"

"It's nothing." you sighed.

Natasha shook her head and then turned off the engine. "we're not moving till you tell me what's going on with you."

You covered your face with your hands. "honestly it's nothing please just take me home I'm tired and everything hurts."

She was going to say something but stopped herself then turned back on the engine and drove you home.

As soon as you got home you went right to your room got changed and went to sleep.

---⧗---

While Natasha was waiting for you to wake up from your nap she was sitting in the common room with her laptop on her lap working on mission reports.

A figure appeared next to her and she thought it was you at first but when she looked up it was Peter.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Ms Romanoff," Peter said nervously.

"It's okay Peter," Natasha said closing her laptop. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I just came here to check on Y/N. My Aunt made her some soup since she's been skipping lunch every day at school and she's probably not eaten anything today."

"She's been skipping lunch?" Natasha asked standing up.

"Yeah, and I don't think that it's just lunch whenever she's over at my house she always makes excuses about how she can't stay for dinner."

It broke Natasha's heart when she heard that the young girl who she saw as her daughter was doing this to herself. Natasha wished that she could take these last few months back and notice what was going on and help you.

"Thanks, Peter, I'll go check on her," Natasha replied then headed to your room.

She quietly sneaked into your room but you were still asleep. She saw your phone lying on your bedside table and started looking through it something that she had never done before and thought that she would never do but it was the only way that she could get answers.

As she looked through your phone there was so many app that was meant for dieting and calorie counting, lots of YouTube videos about dieting and countless Google searches about it too.

Natasha started tearing up she knew that she had to do whatever she could to help you before it became too late and she really hoped that it wasn't already too late.

---⧗---

When you woke up it was nearly 6 pm. You went downstairs to get some water and noticed that everyone was in the common room like they were having some sort of meeting.

"What's going on?" You asked walking closer to everyone.

"Come sit down," Natasha said patting the empty spot beside her.

You sat down beside Natasha and instantly felt everyone's eyes on you.

Natasha gently took your hands in her and held them tightly. "We just want you to know that we're not mad or disappointed we just want to help you," Natasha said softly

You looked around at everyone's concerned faces. "Okay," you replied, still unsure of what exactly was going on.

"Sweetie I know that we I mean that I've been busy lately and I haven't been around much to notice what you're going through," Natasha said

"What are you talking about Nat? I'm fine, I don't have any problems," you say quickly, hoping to brush off her worries and hide away from the situation.

"Sweetie, I know it's hard, but you don't have to lie to us. We know that you're skipping meals. There's no denying that something is going on, and we only want to help you get better."

"I'm not lying, Nat! I'm just busy with school and essays and don't have time to eat like I used to. I don't have any problems, I don't need your help, leave me alone!" You shouted while standing up.

Natasha stands up and takes hold of your hands, them very tightly. "We know you've been struggling, and we're here to support you through this. You don't have to keep pretending or hiding from us, we just want to help."

Tears started forming in your eyes "I want to stop but I can't those girls at school think being thin is cool. They started becoming my friends when I started losing weight. I don't want to lose them as friends."

"Y/N you shouldn't be friends with people who made you do things like that to yourself you deserve better friends," Wanda says.

"just stop you all don't understand what it's like to be a teenage girl in high school." You shouted

You went to walk away but wanda grabbed your arm "Y/N, we may not have the same exact experiences as you, but that doesn't mean we can't help you. We've been through a lot and know how hard it is to deal with challenges and trauma, and we want to be there for you and help you through this. You don't have to go through this alone, and we're all here to support you."

You tried to hold the tears back, you tried to stay strong so that they would forget all of this and you could go back and hide in your room but you just couldn't any longer the feeling was building up inside of you desperate to get out and it all came out at once.

"It's all just too much! I can't handle this anymore, I'm so tired of fighting. I'm so tired of being in pain and feeling like I'm never enough. I don't know how to stop, I just want the pain to go away."

Natasha wrapped her arms around you and held you tightly. "It's going to be okay. We're going to get you the help that you need and everything is going to be okay I promise." She said softly

---⧗--- Nearly a year had passed and things are better than they've ever been. You have been going to therapy and support groups and though at first, you thought that they would do nothing to help you they ended up making such a huge difference in your life. They would give out special rewards for weight gain and they would bring in people who were going through what you were going through and they would talk about their experience and what helped them be the person they were today.

With every single person that came into talk, you felt so inspired by them and you knew that change can become possible and it did.

You were also invited to be a speaker and you hoped to also inspire other kids.

You were also moved into a different school which made you much happier. You made so many new friends who cared about you and not about your number on the scale or your dress size.

The only thing that you missed about your old school was being there with Peter. Even though you still saw him every day after school it was still strange not to see him in the classroom but it didn't matter your friendship was as strong as ever and that was all that mattered.

[honeydewandcake]

hey! been watchin your blog for a while (a friend showed me one of your first (?) fran bow razzdazz drawings and i thought ut was So Cool and have been payin attention since lol), and ive been ponderin glisten in the asylum au for a bit? i saw someone else talk about givin him dysmorphophobia, and i think thats so fun and i would like to build on it a little bit? moreso in the direction of just giving him body dysmorphia in general.

body dysmorphic disorder is categorized as an obsessive compulsive disorder, and generally is confused as something that inherently comes with eating disorders? i think the main difference with them is body dysmorphia is centered around a specific part of the body and not a general weight thing. i think he probably would count for that with his face, honestly? his mirror part specifically? its what he seems to put the most effort into (aside from his bow but thats an accessory) and hes So Appearance Based.

also hes shown to be very insecure about how people perceive him in game with his dialogue and the toon rooms in roleplay mode, and. while his twisted form is shown to be more concerned with being alone, and monophobia, and its so fun to explore i honestly think thats something that should be left to be explored with his twisted form in this whoops, ^^;; its smthn we know is there but dont really see in his normal toon form

but ! yeah, theres my two cents. i dunno if my rambles make much sense lol but i love this stupid mirror and i love fran bow so <:33 buh bye

This is a lot more detailed and deep than I could have ever written it!!! This is actually a huge help in understanding dysmorphia so thank you as well!! I'm keep all these things in mind if I ever draw Glisten :3

[itjazzbicch]

Helping Heal

Pairing:  Takashi MItsuya x Reader 

Summary: (MANGA SPOILERS SO IF YOU DONT WANT THOSE DON'T CONTINUE)

After Draken is shot and dies of his injuries, Takashi is in a deep depression, locking himself in his room, and the reader, being a close friend, goes to see that he was actually doing something in his room, and comes to help him during this hard time...

Warnings:  Manga spoilers, slight eating disorder? (Mitsuya hadn't eaten because he was sad :'( figured I'd make that a warning, but this ends happily I promise)

Word Count: 1k 

"Hey, Mitsuya?" I called out softly, knocking on his door softly.

He's been working on his design for the fashion show ever since Draken died. He hasn't left his room according to his siblings Luna and Mana.

Worried wasn't even a good enough word to describe how I felt about him right now. I dropped past his house to check on him, Luna and Mana explained that he had come out of his room for a change, and they were worried because he hasn't eaten anything in a few days.

Before coming back to his room, I went and grabbed him some of his favorite food from his favorite restaurant. Hoping he'd answer the door.

The door creaked softly, his back already turned, but allowing me as he returned to his seat on his bed.

"All done, huh?" I tried to smile, looking to see that he had his work covered up.

"Yeah," He mumbled, not even looking at me.

This was worse than I thought. He was always so lively with me, now it was like he was dead inside.

"Luna and Mana told me you haven't left your room and you haven't been eating," I said softly, shutting the door and coming over with the food I brought him, "So, I went and got your favorite."

"Thanks," Not moving a muscle, this was so hard to watch, but I still set up his food and drink for him on a small fold table he had.

"Cheers?" Holding up my drink, I was hoping I could get him to at least pick something up.

Instead, he stared at me through his bangs before looking down to the floor. I was running out of ideas and so, I sat next to him, hugging him tight whether he wanted a hug or not.

"Just let it out, Takashi," I whispered, fighting tears of my own, "I know you're hurting more than anyone right now. I'm here for you."

Clinging to my jacket, the veins in his hand were popping out from gripping so tight, sniffling before completely breaking down with his face buried in my chest. Hugging him as tightly as I could, I started crying too when he muffled out through tears and a cracking voice:

"I-I; I just can't believe he's g-gone."

"I know," I swallowed, rubbing his back and trying to keep myself together and help him, "But he still lives in here."

Holding my hand over his chest, hoping my words explained themselves, relieved when he nodded and hugged me again, settling down and taking deep breaths, closing his eyes as I cleaned his face with a soft napkin.

"Thank you," He whispered, sitting up and wiping at his eyes while I leaned to him, kissing his temple:

"I always have your back, Takashi. Always."

That made him smile some and it lifted some weight off my shoulders, growing lighter when he pulled the table closer, looking at his food:

"My favorite, hm?"

"Down to the very spices," I smiled at him, relieved as he took a bite, needing it literally for his health, and his soul, showing how much he enjoyed every bite with little expressions on his face.

I only brought myself a snack, but ate alongside him, eyes following his hand as they got his drink:

"I apologize for earlier. Cheers?"

"Oh, you're fine," I assured, taking mine and clanking our glasses softly, "Cheers."

Smiling and taking a sip, we finished up and I decided to clean up while he took a shower and checked on his sisters. Being extra careful, I made sure to put back all his tools away in their labeled spot, as neat as ever, and had his room clean.

All that was left was his final project which was on covered mannequins. I was curious to see, but also wanted to respect the fact that this was Takashi's masterpiece pretty much.

Just staring and zoning out, I jumped at the sound of the door creaking, seeing Takashi coming back in, noticing that I was wanting to see his latest pieces.

"Soon, Y/N. You'll get it see it soon," He winked at me, making me giggle and nod:

"I can't wait. I know you're going to win that whole show."

"Maybe," He hummed, sitting on the floor next to his bed with his brush in hand.

"No maybe's," I rebutted, sitting on the bed above him, stealing his brush and softly brushing through his ends, then through his hair in sections, "You better win or I'm fighting the judges."

Shaking his head and laughing at my comment, he was serious when he explained, "I don't really care if I win or not. I just want to honor him and his memory, our memories. That's all."

Knowing he meant Draken, that made me even more excited. He spent all that time locked in his room, working on a piece to honor him. It made me smile, running a hand through his hair and massaging his scalp, smiling at the dragon tattoo he and Draken had:

"He's gonna be watching, I'm sure, and he'll love it."

Hugging his head and kissing it again, I just wanted to keep all the bad emotions away from him, falling to silence when he tilted his head back to look at me.

His purple eyes glimmered from the light above us, just staring deeply into each other's eyes for a moment, till he tilt his head back a little further, lips perking to find mine.

All my breath left me, lips so soft, but making our kiss so deep, feeling all the appreciation from him, and something else, finding out what it was whenever he parted lips to whisper to me:

"I love you, Y/N."

Staying silent and still, he had to pick up his head and turn to me, arms latching him into a hug when he faced me, on his knees and hugging back with a sway, adding:

"I just wanted you to know that."

"I love you too, Takashi," I squeezed, picking my head up to give another kiss, "You have no idea." 

2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome