#i dont know if anyone would view it that way anyways. but that perception was not intended whenever i drew this
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mxrtified777 · 1 year ago
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uhmmm. ever heard of knocking
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evilminji · 10 months ago
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You know one of the purposes of Lining?
Shock Absorption.
If the Zone is the Inter- and EXTRA-Dimensional Lining, connecting, containing, and generally powering all of Multiversal Creation? The Great Primordial Soup? The Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, from which we came and too which we return?
If the Zone itself is basicly the place between Universe, where your soul goes to get washed down, cleaned up, recharged, and sent out to wherever the next random portal takes it? To BECOME whatever you happen to find? An infinte recycler and Multiversal management?
The great metaphorical Yggdrasil, grown far beyond few branches, into an incomprehensible forest of one?
Well!
That kinda changes things! And also nothing! Because it means that those who remain? Are basicly squatting in the DMV's attic. Have built bunkers, under the country's main power generator. They really SHOULD move along. Granted, there is no one to MAKE them... but like...
That's cause no one thought anyone would NEED too?
Lol. Don't they feel silly? Anyway, I'ma put MY house over-! *wander off to go squat in the rafters*
Yeah, the CONCEPTS are native. But those probably just generate naturally. It's all the Souls constantly flowing through. Lots of background Sentience and Memories and such being washed away into the air. But? Then these lil souls were like "yeah, but if THEY get to stay... me too! D:< " "no, you can-" "ME TOO" and then they stopped listening and did what they wanted.
Good thing we have literally infinte amounts of room.
T...there's so MANY, you guys.
But! Not the point here!
*smacks white board* Realities! The Die too sometimes! And get born! A beautiful process, really. You can find Reality Beads if you know When and Where to look, some times. They, OBVIOUSLY, don't last for very long. Since they are basicly just seed universe. The explosive growth takes them almost immediately out of our range of perception, as they Begin.
Foundations of all Life and such.
But good God are they MAGNIFICENT!
However, sometimes? The REVERSE happens. If you find the area of the Zone your in? Is getting... "wavey" is the best way people describe it. Distorted. Fun house mirror. As though your vision has weird wrinkles that are distorting and stretching your view of things? Get Out. FAST.
If it's only SLIGHT? Barely noticeable? You can grab your Lair. IF, and ONLY IF you are NEARBY! If not? Remember. Things can be replaced. YOU? Can not.
Cause that "wavey"-ness? Is the final stage of Realm Entropy. The universe that portion over the Zone is covering and connected too, is all hollowed out. And about to CAVE IN. You DO NOT want to be there when that happens!
Remember! You see "waves"? Fly for three days!
Get to the edge of the affected area then KEEP GOING for a full three days flight. Warn everyone in you path. We stay safe together, guy. Collapses are NO JOKE. People get... well. Let's just say it's NOT a nice way too go.
Knowing this of course? We should all be SAFE right? Respectful if Awed distance from Reality Seeds, run like he'll if "waves"? We Gucci?
.....Sooooorta.
*flips Whiteboard to other side, to reveal a cartoonishly drawn Supervillian labeled "Asshole"*
Behold! A Terrorist!
It's a charged word. Not used lightly. But THESE fuckers? Oh ho ho! THESE fuckers?! "Ooooh~! Look at MEEEEE! I'm gonna play with FORCES I DONT UNDERSTAAAAAAAND! Destabilize my whole funckin UNIVERSE! Kill countless TRILLIONS OF TRILLIONS! Cause life was bad to me personally and I'm mad about it! Wah wah wah!!" ASSHOLES!
These fuckers? Cause Collapses. Blow Outs. Weird Fucked Up Cancerous Real Growths. You ever seen the Cleaners? No? You don't WANT TOO. They are basically eldritch, deep sea, angler fish looking mother fuckers THE SIZE OF SOLAR SYSTEMS. They travel in SCHOOLS.
BIG ONES.
When Realities collapse, they "fall off" as it were. Detach. And have to get recycled. All the countless impurities of Life eaten way to a blank slate. So it too, can start again. Thus the Fish. But! They ALSO eat anything "problematic".
Like tumors. Cancers. Poisoned, Multiversal Threats. Those quote on quote "God Killers".
Yes. Yes this IS part of why you DONT want to be near a Collapsing Reality.
No I WON'T explain how I know.
I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
*smack the board with pointer* pay attention.
Jason Todd. Not! An Asshole. Sexy thighs. Fancy lil hair strip. We all miss him. But! He's off living his "no really, I'm totally alive, guys" hot girl summer or whatever. We are going to respect that! But!!! How did that happen? When he was DEFINITELY Hella dead?
Superboy Prime-y Pants. Who IS an ASSHOLE.
Because THAT fucker? PUNCHED HIS REALITY SO HARD IT NEARLY SHATTERED. Oh, no, I'm sorry! He punched SOMEONE ELSE'S reality! Because he is a tantruming MAN CHILD! And NOW? Now, Your Majesty, that WHOLE ASS Reality is more hair line cracks then border walls! One good shove? It'll cave in. Killing every soul inside.
The Cleaners are ALREADY circling.
It needs to be patched. Immediately. But that's not something normal ghosts can DO. The Zone won't LISTEN to us. Nor allocate the energy for it. The Concepts of Healing? We can't even FIND them.
We need help.
Please help them, King Phantom. You're the only one who CAN.
@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @ailithnight @mutable-manifestation @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter
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magical-xirl-4 · 4 years ago
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I’ve just read up on Genshin’s lore and how the world connects to Honkai’s multiverse. Plus I finally acknowledged Khaenri’ah, it’s downfall, connection to the abyss, Kaeya’s whole deal and the siblings’ place in it all (and it’s cemented in my mind that Paimon isn’t who she seems 0_0)
My mind is melting and I need to scream about this with someone
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cornfarm · 3 years ago
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waves against the rocks
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saiki kusuo x reader
word count: 2.0k
synopsis: you show saiki your powers. he’s unbearibly jealous, yet for the first time, he feels seen and understood by another person.
cws: mention of the reader having a bad family
genre: melancholic fluff
reader is gender neutral!
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notes:
greetings... i promise i’m working on cease and desist part 2 but i keep starting one shots;; I ALSO DECIDED TO CHANGE MY TEXT FORMAT... i yoinked all the capital letters away... it feels a bit more liberating
whenever i make my crazy op self insert oc, i always think about how i can make them a foil/double to the characters i like. for example my gintama s/i is also a traumatized war veteran. i thought like... wouldn’t it be fun to write the reader character as a direct foil AND double to saiki? they have everything he doesn’t, but he has a lot that they dont and it’s like,., mutual jealousy.
i also wanted to write saiki properly empathizing with someone. aiura and toritsuka are so fun because they both have different moral compasses with their powers and how they’d like to use them. however despite the fact theyre all psychics, saiki can’t really empathize with either of them.
i wanted to have saiki be excited about something, and feel truly seen. empathy is a very powerful thing.
i hope the “ability” i chose isn’t too cringe;;;
i can’t help but feel like i write saiki ooc so feedback would be super appreciated!
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perception. the way people are seen by others, the mental images and sour thoughts rooted in nothing but misconception. the falsafied persona of greatness, beauty, and kindness. perception.
you kept saiki afterschool. tugging at his sleeve, you quietly asked “i need to show you something, stay here for a few extra minutes?”. he refused you at first, but you stayed firm, “i need you to stay.” fierce. he decided to stay.
but you stood before saiki, right? were you there? he suddenly felt a bit weary, head pounding at the thought of you. your name, voice, scent, failing to find matches in his library of records. when he thought of you, his brain flickered through the faces and names of everyone else he knew.
you were a gap, a void, a sudden unconjurable memory. it was horrifying. but he quickly accepted it. the body circling behind of him was none of his concern, because there was nobody there. he supposes he should go home now. why was he standing alone in the classroom anyways?
firm hands land on his shoulders, warm, present. he remembers why he’s here.
“it’s not that i’m invisible, it’s just that your brain can’t recognize me, and refuses to acknolwedge me as a thing that exists.”
like a wave crashing against a rocky shore, the void is filled. your voice, your scent, your name, all slotted back into place in his mental library. he recognizes the hands on your shoulders as yours. 
a hand snakes around and pushes up his glasses, covering his eyes.
“it’s not about visibility, it’s perception. you are unable to percieve me as a living thing, or of anything of importance. that’s why you can’t read my thoughts, and that’s why you’re so quick to give up trying to recall me.”
he’s practically trembling- you have one power. it was simple, but it managed to find a loophole around practically all of his.
“that’s terrifying.”
“right?”
you take your hands away and step in front of him. he adjusts his glasses properly.
“were you born with it?”
you nod, “it caused me trouble when i was a kid. i almost got left at an airport,” you chuckle.
“does anyone else know?”
“i’ve tried to tell my parents but they don’t believe me. they called me a liar and delusional, so i decided to stop trying with them. nobody else knows, i’ve never told any of my past friends either. when i found out about your powers, i thought maybe someone would finally understand. that’s the only reason i wanted to tell you.”
your lip quivers, “you believe me, right?”
truth be told, saiki’s stunned. he wasn’t expecting someone like you to have such an abrasive ability. despite how reclusive and fittingly unnoticeable it is, it was certainly powerful.
he’s jealous. you were able to freely aquire something he wanted- privacy, but he does believe you, afterall he just watched you waltz around him, outside of his keen field of view. 
“yeah, i do.”
you smile, bright and wide- you’re nearly trembling. was being believed that big of a deal to you?
you take a step forward and embrace him, wrapping your arms around his torso as your head presses against his chest. he goes a bit stiff, and glances at the door. “hey, someone might walk in-”
“it’s fine.” you look up at him, meeting his eyes, and oh. your eyes are glimmering, shining greater than he’s ever seen them, “they won’t.”
burying your face back into him, he tenataively wraps his arms around your back. you continue, voice muffled, “’m sorry, you’re the first person who’s accepted me. i’m happy.”
the emotional explanation for your actions ease him a bit, “it’s fine.” he states back.
you finally pull away, and for a brief moment as you lose connection, you flicker out of his view, but you come back in again, placing your hand on his.
“actually, i can touch you while using my power without you being affected by them, but i’m manually using it on you right now.”
“if you touch someone while making sure they still can’t see you, what does that make them experience?” his voice is clear, a bit fierce in tone. you always had trouble reading saiki, but you could tell that this was interest. perhaps he was threatened, but he was certainly intrigued.
“they might whirl around and look who’s touching them and account it to a person around them, but if not, they might think they’re having sensory hallucinations. i can also talk to people, but because my voice doesn’t have any weight to it, it’s almost like a hypnotic suggestion.”
“so you can brainwash people?”
“not necessarily,” you let go of his hand, you must have released your power, your eyes are dark, “if i suggest something to someone and it’s something mild, they’re more likely to do it because it already falls into their line of thinking. if i suggest something bold, they might do it thinking it’s an impulsive thought.”
“most people won’t do extreme things, they’ll read those as intrusive thoughts. but sometimes people think my voice is the voice of god, or a passed on relative, and will do intense things regardless of their judgement. others have poor impulse control, and some are just batshit crazy.”
you sheepishly scratch your head, “but i don’t really like having that much control over people. i don’t want to use my powers to hurt anyone.”
“do you want to use them to help people?”
you pause. it seems you’ve thought about this quite a bit.
“well my powers can’t help people. they give me the ability to help people, but they can’t help people directly. i think it’s a matter of it i’m strong enough to help people.”
“are you?”
“would you hate me if i said no? of course i lend a hand to my friends when they need it, but i don’t think i’m strong enough to really make a difference. i want to live peacefully.”
you look down at your hands, “i wish i wasn’t born with it.”
saiki felt unnervingly softhearted. he struggled empathizing with his peers, but his heart pounded in solemn familiarity. “i don’t hate you for that, i’m the same. having the powers i do means i have the responsibility of keeping the world in peace. people would be jealous of me for the self-fulfilling purposes i could use my powers for, but i don’t want to use my powers to hurt people. i don’t want to help anyone either. i just want to be left alone.”
guilt. guilt was a disease, just like jealousy is. it eats at you from the inside, and creeps up at times least expected. it left both of you hollow and empty.
“i wish i didn’t have powers,” he continues, “i don’t think i’ve ever properly experienced life in the way i’m supposed to, like everyone else has. i’m envious of you, you’ve had a bit more normalcy than me.”
“i suppose we’re equally unhappy, then,” you smile at him. he had been staring out the window, but he turns to looks at you. you’re leaning on the door of the classroom, tilting your head, you ask him a silent “walk home with me?”. 
“i mean,” you begin, “i’ve missed out on a lot. i’ve always had trouble making friends- my powers made it difficult for people to remain interested in me. i’ve gotten pretty good at controlling them, pk academy has been really good to me, but it doesn’t heal the damage it’s caused me.”
your teeth gnaw at your lower lip, “your family is so supportive of you, they love you so much, it makes me angry. i wish i could say the same about mine.”
it wasn’t too empty in the school, but your footsteps were loud and clear, both you and saiki walking in sync. saiki didn’t really know what to say, so he stayed silent. 
sighing, you continue, “i don’t want to be alone, but it’s too easy to be reclusive when that’s where you’ve always been. if you live a life of isolation, making friends is scary and draining,” a grim smile forms on your face, as if you’re trying to comfort yourself.
but saiki does have to admit that the two of you have much more in common than he initially thought. he quietly thinks to himself, perhaps he could use your abilities.
“y/n,” he begins, eyes meeting yours, “will you do me a favor?”
“yeah, what is it?”
he doesn’t like being indebted to people, but he wants to test your limits. you don’t give him the chance to ask, “you want me to use my powers while we walk out together, don’t you.”
his mouth falls a bit open, lips parting, “how did you know?”.
you laugh, “you’re not the only one who can read minds,” and reach out to wrap a hand around his forearm. he raises a brow at you, seemingly amused by your comment. he expected you to take his hand again, but your firm grip on his arm was admitedly unexpected.
he felt his heart skip a beat.
“well? are you doing it?”
“yup, you won’t feel any different though.”
walking down the steps together, people passed the two of you, strangers, familiar faces, teachers. nobody noticed.
the two of you passed toritsuka at the steps, but he paid no mind. “you know,” saiki started, “when i use my invisibility power, that guy can still see me.” 
“can he?” you murmur, your voice a bit low. 
“if it’s easier, you can just think what you’d like to say to me, we can talk that way.”
you squint your eyes in concentration, “like this?” you think to yourself. 
“yeah.”
you smile. you continue to hold onto his arm as he changes his shoes. 
“that must be frustrating, that he can still see you.”
he nods. he supposes if toritsuka can’t see you, then aiura probably can’t track you- and him, down either. 
“hold onto my arm while i change mine.”
without breaking contact, he gently wraps his fingers around your wrist. you hastily change your shoes, and slide your hand a bit up, taking his in yours.
“is it neccesary to hold hands?” he asks. his expression was nearly deadpanned, but the slight crease in his brows communicated just enough. he felt sheepish, a bit lost.
“no, but it’s nice.” 
teruhashi stands idly at the exit, waiting, doing her best to gently shake off the boys that surrounded her.
“she’s looking for me.”
“is she? do you want to talk to her?”
“no.”
you pause. 
“is she the reason you asked me to do this for you?”
he nods.
you turn and head towards the gate, but not before waving a hand in front of her face. you take a deep breath, before exclaiming a loud “teruhashi!”. she whirls around, trying to find the source of the voice, looking rather bewildered.
letting out a hearty laugh, you grin up at him. a slight huff of air escapes his upturned lips.
the two of you slip past the front gate.
“but you owe me something in return, i don’t give out my labor for free!”
he sighs, “what would you like?”
“wait, really? i was joking, you don’t have to do anything for me!” you double down on your demands.
“you say that, but i know you’re secretly hoping i’ll treat you.”
“shit, i forgot you can read my mind. that’s so invasive.” you pout, “not fair!”
“it’s fine, i don’t like being indebted to people, and you did do me a favor like i asked, so i’ll take you somewhere.”
you look a bit nervous, “really? you’re sure?”
“just accept the offer before i revoke it.”
you twirl in a circle, letting go of his hand and hopping a few steps ahead of him. “you’re buying me a nice coffee then!” 
he lunges out to take it again.
“sure.”
and once more in sync, both of your hearts skip a beat.
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altruistic-meme · 2 years ago
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ok, heres an anon for you- i dont know if this is a me thing or not, but do you have any questions (about your work, your life, or anything) that you wish people would think to ask you, but that you know other people don’t have the context to ask? if so, what are they and what is it about them that makes you want to talk about it
hello!! this is a really interesting ask aaaa
i know that i do get this way too, but it's not like, questions i always have in my head, they usually come and go. lemme see if i can think of any rn....
lmao okay so i was trying to not get like Deep or anything and its not so much a question i often wish people would ask but ig one thing is like, i always think about how others view me when i tell them im the youngest of 6 kids. cus its SO irritating to me bc their immediate perception is literally always incorrect and they NEVER listen to me when i tell them that no, it actually wasn't like that at all.
so im gonna explain it here since i never get to irl but
being youngest was shit for me like 90% of the time. i know, i know, that there's the "oh the yougest always gets their way and they're the favorite and blah blah blah" and that's EXACTLY the idea people get when i tell them im youngest and that isn't what it was like.
in fact, it was the sister closest to my age who has that more than anyone else. if things didn't go her way, she would throw a fit and yell and cry and get our parents to take her side. every. fucking. time. when we were really young, this wasn't often used against me since we used to be really close, but as we got older it was used ALL THE TIME.
and the issue is it works (present tense, bc despite being 20/22 this still happens) bc i DONT like throwing fits or, especially now bc we're adults, i REALLY don't like pulling our parents into it. but she does! so she'll drag our parents into it and they'll take her side like always bc they only ever get her side of things.
back to being younger, i was basically the footstool of my family anyway, bc my siblings would always boss me around and I would listen (bc I've got ~issues~ I've learned) so they kept doing it. and I wouldn't complain bc it could upset them and it would annoy our parents and I didn't want to be like the sister before.
so yeah. being youngest sucked a lot. and it drives me fucking insane when i tell people i was youngest bc they go "oh so you were the baby! you must be so used to getting what you want and being the spoiled one lol" when they've got NO IDEA what it was like for me.
sorry for the rant ksksksksk but! maybe please do not assume youngest children are always spoiled babies bc we aren't! and that's the thing ig no one ever asks or lets me talk about that I really wish they would :')
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rosewinelonging · 2 years ago
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mm thinkin bout projohn. i know its not ur cup of tea but its just fun to think about, sburb is the thing that matures john- much too fast and when he wasnt at an age ready for it. it was a force of nature, something he could not at all understand or ask questions about beyond what he was told.
bro gives him the same maturity, but with a layer of humanity. john is a lot more like jane than anyone recognizes, he puts a wall between himself and what greatly effects him- he just doesnt break it like jane does.
with bro, john gets that humanity- though also cruel and harsh john knows its a purrson, and can accept what is given much easier,
bro is a systematic purrson, he keeps everything in a specific corner of his mind and refuses to let it down- like dirk. but john as a breath player, changes the flow of things. bro never wants to settle down, he wants to keep going and with someone who both goes with and changes the flow at will- it puts that control in jeopardy- possibly relating to a... ehem "dominance issue" that puts him both in control and out of it. johns no pushover, he wants what's right and he will scheme to get it. bro- even as a aplinter of dirk- misjudges such action.
anyeewayz sorry for the ramble and thanks 4 ur thyme, '^u^
mannn i like brojohn i think ive made a few posts abt them but yea i dont talk as much since i wasnt sure if my followers liked it lol
BUT YES!!! holy shit anon i loveeee thinking abt things like this and doin all analysis like with dynamics and god u hit every mark
honestly ive been thinkin abt john a lot these past couple days. hes a passive player who causes so much change even to those who dont realize it. he goes alongs with things bc he doesnt have the time to think abt stuff and bc of this his outward expression to ppl is. hes easy! hes simple and he listens bc thats whats expected of him, he doesnt have the chance to say no to anything though thats not the reality
as an heir of breath, freedom is his whole deal. he naturally falls into the into the inability to be tied down and in the future as things progress AFTER he begins to process things is when he starts doing things his way, a surprise to people around him who thought him simply passive [ie. refusing to give vriska the ring, beating caliborn up, etc etc]
and combined with the fact of, as you said, the wall of forced repression it very much leads a lot of people, specifically people who pride themselves on 'manipulation' or just crave dominance by understanding others, to misunderstand him severely. which is very VERY good. its such a thing i love with characters and the dynamic possibilities are endless
which is why i rlly like john paired with characters like bro [or even vriska, condy, etc THOSE types of characters] cause you get that misunderstanding and struggle of power. and yes he would misjudge johns actions or intentions which honestly can be funny as fuck
im less confident abt my uhhh perception? i guess of. all striders really i have a version in my mind but idk how close to canon it really is but for me i see bro as a more extreme version of dirk. he would set everything up in his head and it WILL go the way he thinks it will. views the world as more um i guess the best way to explain is in boxes. everything has a set purpose and he compartmentalizes things so it all works in a well oiled machine
so when it comes to john- they would meet, forces him into maturity in anyway you can imagine, and of course this isnt some mystical force from the universe. its a person which WOULD make things easier to understand leading to less passivity once he gets his thoughts together. OR you could say bro had already formed an opinion on john by observing his actions with say like dave! or possibly even rose since she the one he listens to most w/o question
either way it comes to a point that john is likely to fight back or act in a way that goes against the predetermined expectations. john would let him do whatever he wants before suddenly turning around and deciding. he doesnt want to do something and so he simply will not. its a complete toss up that will leave bro stumbling
of course at this point i want to point out that this is what makes dirkjohn fundamentally different from brojohn. dirk and john are on pretty equal footing bc of age which makes the expected power struggle an either-or situation where it could go both ways
while bro has a much larger advantage bc of age [assuming john is 13 - 16] and general appearance [sorry. short john propaganda i cant see him as anything over 5'5 lol]
so naturally bro would still get that control but it means nothing with the fundamental misunderstanding of john. its like he would take simple actions to the extreme [believing he has planned things out when it was really spur of the moment] or any scheming he does as not planned bc he wouldnt get WHY he would that and bc he doesnt understand why he would do something it means he wouldnt have done it
but yea anon you managed to hit exactly why i like thinking abt them. i love love love the idea of their relationship being built on bro just. not understanding how john works. which i explore a lot in royalty au's lol its fun to do court scheming and political drama
bros playing 3d chess while johns playing checkers
ummmm so yea! i like john a whole lot hes one of my favorites to think abt an brojohn less bc of the ship an more bc of that specific flavor i get from it
WAIT! ok before i forget. the only thing ive really been thinking abt these past couple days is john with women vs john with men. essentially boils down to if a woman asked he would be on his knees in an instant. you say jump he asks how high etc etc hed act out enough to get attention but not really to destablize the power dynamic
but he just absolutely refuses to willingly sub for a man. or if he does it doesnt end like he wants it to. so the only way to get him to submit is by harsh force and even then hes a brat till the end. takes pleasure in making bros life just that much harder
ok anyway back to ending notes. yea i like them! i like pretty much any m/m ship as long as johns in it LOL like if youre worried abt me not bein into something remember this:
any girl with any other girl? yes. im literally in the middle of making a doc of every dynamic between all human and troll girls whether they have a canon one or not
any girl with any guy? this is a toss up. if i like / post a lot abt the girl in the ship then yea id prob like it. i dont mind any of the human guys. i dont care for any of the troll guys. well. i like eridan most times, hes fun and im an aquarius and tavros in certain moods.
any guy with any guy? if one of them is john the answer is probably yes. hes my little darling and he surpasses gender. my Only issue with june is that i dont like the name change bc i cant get used to it lol but basically theres no difference in my mind with them when it comes to gender fuckery. an also i switch genitals based on mood so i guess thats something but yea i love him lots esp when it comes to stuff like this where u analyze his character <3
despite my content. i Would say that john is my unanimous favorite character
ALSO im literally writing a long fic where brojohn is the main focus lol well that and davejohn but he literally only gets sex scenes w bro sooooo
but yea go ahead an ramble in my askbox i rlly enjoy it cause i get to ramble back <33
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heyitsyn · 4 years ago
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Manager!Seijoh KYO ROUTE
a/n: AAAAA HERE IT FINALLY IS!!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!!
THIS IS KYO’S ROUTE AND TBH, I REALLY WANT TO MAKE AN IWA ROUTE BUT I ALSO WANT TO MAKE AN OIKAWA ROUTE BC IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOMEONE’S FAVORITE IS ACTUALLY OIKS AND I WANT TO GIVE HER THAT ENDING AND I WANT IWA TO HAVE AN ENDING AS A PERSONAL REQUEST HEHEHEHEHEHE
REMINDER, THIS IS A WHAT IF SCENARIO LIKE WHAT IF SHE ENDS UP WITH KYO AND HOW WOULD IT HAPPEN SO THIS IS NOT REALLY GOING TO BE PART OF THE MAIN MANAGER!SEIJOH SERIES
anon requests:  
 -i love the seijoh manager one and i was just wondering if i could please request one where she ends up with kyoken
-OH MY GOD Can y/n-chan and kyoubabie end up together and like how would the team react wawlndksndkfnkdndkfnkd im so soft
-I kinda like the idea after the time skip that Kyo and the manager end up together, he's still such a softie for her. I feel like after seeing how Kyo acts around her the team wasn't surprised that they ended up together and kinda expected it.
- what if manager reader and Kyotani kiss 😳👉👈
- hi I love your seijoh manager aus! They’re so cute and wholesome but also very chaotic 😭 I have a request,, if yn and kyo end up together then can you do a scenario where the boys find out and are like 👁👄👁 huh, u choose the dog?? NDJJS IDK KYO IS SO UNDERRATED BUT N E WAYS ILY AND YOUR SERIES YOURE SO TALENTED 😭💕
i totally not already planned this part from the last part 
tw: hint of abuse
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ALSKDFJASDKJAFKLDSJFLKA HINATA SAID NYOOM 
so,,, yep lets start
hehehehehehehe kyo is so protective like bls be mine
even though miyo has been expelled and doesnt mess w you anymore, he still looks out for you and makes sure no one messed w you
like he actually goes to the first floor immediately and leans on the wall outside your class so he could walk with you to the gym or to lunch
at first, you thought it was bc oikawa told him to look out for you but when you found out it was competely all him, you were so soft for him and appreciative at him taking the time to go to you
like one day after class, you were planning on just eating lunch inside the classroom with kunimi and kindaichi but you were thirsty and felt stuffed in the room so you excused yourself to go eat at the roof
as you opened the door, you came face-to-face with the blonde upperclassman and you were so shocked that you closed the door on impulse
you said haha not today satan
but you realized who he was and hurriedly opened it
‘ohmagod im so sorry kyo-san!’
he shrugged
‘its fine’
you smiled apologetically and cleared your throat
‘so,,, what can i do for you, kyo-san?’
he shoved his hands in his pockets bc in truth, he didnt really know, but he caught sight of your bento on your hands
‘the roof?’
he asked making you look at him, impressed
‘howd you know?’
‘if youre not eating in there, the roof would be the only other place youd eat, right?’
you leaned against the doorway and reached forward to rub his arm
‘you stalking me now, kyo-san?’
he narrowed his eyes and looked away
but he grabbed your hand before interlacing your fingers and you were shocked to be dragged with him to somewhere in the school
‘the roof’
was all he said and you quickly kept up to pace with him until you arrived your destination at the top of the school
it was quite a cloudy day so the sun was actually out of view but it wasnt going to be a rainy day
the temperature was slowly getting colder since you were now transitioning from fall to winter but you didnt care bc it was still fresh air
you hurriedly tugged him forward and sat him down next to you so you both were seated together
‘do you not eat lunch kyo-san?’
‘no. i dont have time’
he pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them while you laid your legs on a straight line in front of you so you could rest the box on your lap
kyo laid his cheek on his arm as he watched you excitedly unwrap the cloth and open the mint-green lid to reveal the rice and tamagoyaki with chicken bites inside
‘itadakimasu!’
you softly clapped your hands then positioned your chopsticks but you paused, head turning to kyo
he felt like he was caught stealing something lmao stealing glances get it so he quickly averted his gaze to the railing that surrounded the roof
you delicately placed a hand on his arm which gave you his attention and you raised a piece of the egg dish
‘one?’
you offered and he shook his head but you pouted at him making him sigh then open his mouth
now you were no gorgon ramsai im cackling sorry but you could cook since your mother believed that you werent a girl unless you knew how to cook
his eyes were shining as he chewed and you giggled before holding up another piece which he quickly snatched up
‘ill bring you your own bento tomorrow kyo-san~!’
and you did
the next day, you waited for him at your class and when you caught sight of him walking from your class window, you bounced up in your seat, startling kindaichi from eating his noodles
‘y/n?’
kunimi questioned but you werent even looking at him
‘ill see you later, aki!’
you waved and opened the door to go to kyo, who lowkey got scared when you just ran up to him
he raised his hand to ruffle your hair and you got closer to him and held out the blue box
‘here. as promised’
he held the box and stared at it, like it was the first time someone gave him this
you took his surprise as gratitude and grabbed his hand, swinging it as you talked about your lessons on your way to the roof
when he opened it, he lifted the first container and saw what was hiding at the very bottom shelf
it was a serving of famima chicken with its wrapper stil intact
‘how-’
‘saw you eating it when you first joined the team. then i started noticing you eating it whenever we go to the convenience store’
the fact that you were so perceptive towards him brought an unfamiliar feeling inside him that made his heart thump and stomach to tickle
‘dont worry, kyo-san! i made sure everything was good!’
your eyes closed due to the intensity of your grin and you raised a thumbs up to prove your word further
he blinked at you and truly thought you were an angel
an angel sent down to help a lost hope like him?
was that you?
were you his angel?
during practice, he was actually very calm and collected and wasnt pushing anyone at all which surprised everyone
iwaizumi even stared at him confusingly and if iwa was looking at him like that, the entire team knew something was up
‘oi, kyotani, you good? you sick?’
rip 2020 would like to know your location
the fake blonde turned to him and shook his head, face free of any glare or irritation
in fact, he looked like a completely different person if not for the hair
‘im good’
he answered
‘did they have a buy one get one sale on that chicken of yours?’
oikawa tested
if he answered him, something was definitely wrong
‘no. i dont think so’
yep, something was wrong
oikawa was screaming and shouting that the world was going to end while the others were laughing, panicking, and worrying while iwa just stood there, staring at his underclassman
you returned from filling up the bottles and was confused at the state of the team
‘i-um-what happened’
kyo’s ears perked up at your voice and he bounded up to you like a doggie seeing its owner come home
you smiled and reached up to place a hand on his shoulder with ease bc he was one of the shorter players therefore easier to reach
‘did oikawa-san break again?’
you asked and he nodded
‘hes being an idiot’
he mumbled
‘hes just being oikawa-san, kyo-san. you still have to respect him as your captain, remember that’
you said and he rolled his eyes but nodded anyways
‘fine. only because you said so’
iwa was watching this interaction with very wide eyes and his confusion only grew like 10 million times
kyotani kentarou never answered to anyone and if he did, that must be earned
as far as iwa knew, kyo was just so soft to you and treats you so different than the 7.8 billion people in the world
no person in the world could ever get kyo to act like that except you
and there had to be a reason
and iwa was pretty sure he knew
after practice, you were scheduled to look after the cats in shinsou’s house so you were going to walk with kyo
he was impatiently waiting for oikawa to finish talking to you until his patience just snapped and he grabbed you and lifted you up to his arms then just started walking, surprising everyone in silence
you instinctually wrapped your legs around him and held on to his shoulders tightly while his arms were bounded around your waist
‘OI! KYOKEN-CHAN! HOW DARE YOU STEAL Y/N-CHAN!’
oikawa was punching the air
you placed your cheek on his shoulder and let out a breathy chuckle
‘you couldnt wait for another second, kyo-san?’
‘the trash was starting to reek’
you laughed and grimaced at the laughter that bubbled out of you
‘so mean, kyo-san!’
your laughter made him subconsciously smile and he held you closer, placing his chin on your shoulder as he continued on the trek to the familiar purple house
once you did arrive though, kyo refused to let your hand go
ope reference?
‘kyoooooo~! cmon! let me gooo~!’
‘no’
he grumbled and continued to hold your hand tighter as you tried to tug it free so you could walk up the gates to your employer
‘i need to work~! pleeeease~!’
you whined but he scrunched his nose in distate, pulling your hand forward so you stumbled into his chest where he wrapped both arms to cage you in
‘no. i dont want you with that grape head’
he growled lowly making you laugh and you turned so your ear would be right above his heart
it was beating fast
his scent travelled up your nose and you closed your eyes, snuggling even further
cherry blossoms and vanilla with the slightest hint of sandalwood
‘i need to go’
you mumbled but he gripped your tighter
‘stay with me’
he whispered 
tbh you wouldve if literally hizashi-san didnt catch you at the front of his house cuddling
it was quite an embarrassing encouter when he wouldnt stop talking about it and you had to actually push him and aizawa out the door 
‘we were really rooting for hitoshi but do what makes you happy, dear!’
‘hizashi-san, please!’
you werent really aware of how clingy kyoken was and it only caught your attention when during one of your lunch (dates), he clinging on to you
your position has now shifted so you were sitting between his legs while you fed him food and he would rest his chin on your shoulder to watch the clouds and sky
‘kyo-san, did something happen? youre clingier than usual’
he shook his head and buried his face in your neck
‘allergies’
he whispered and you leaned your head on top of his, continuing on eating your food
‘hey, kyo-san, do you think it will snow soon? we’re getting into december already so it would snow soon, right?’
you asked and he emerged from his spot
‘i hope so. that would be nice. we need a little more snow now and then’
im SCREAMING RIGHT NOW AND TEARS ARE WELLING UP IN MY EYES HELP-
‘yea. yea. when it falls, i want to go out and stand in it. if we’re lucky, we could have a snowball fight up here. whaddya think, kyo-san?’
pls dont blast at me with the timeline bc tbh my timeline is so messed up and if i was to fix that, id basically have to scrap this entire series bc of how messy with the timeline it is
‘yea. we will’
he hugged you tighter that day
when he didnt show up for practice, you were frantically looking for him
did he skip?
you knew how he struggled not being able to play with the others and missing this opportunity wasnt something he would do
and you were worried where he was and he might be hurt somewhere
you ran out of the gym and out of the school grounds, running through the alleys and any secluded area bc he mustve had a bad day and wanted to get away
indeed, you found him in the alleyway and you were horrified at his bloodied face and ruffled clothing
he was seated on the floor, head leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, even oblivious to the dogs and cats that were worriedly nudging him
‘kyo-san!’
you shrieked and his eyes flew open and he quickly stood up to run but you were quicker and restrained him with your arms around his middle
it was so bad
his foster family,,,, everything was such a mess
he trembled in your arms and you felt his fear, his terror, and you gently, but firmly, held him so you could look at his face
he was staring at the floor angrily, tears welling up in his eyes and you shakingly placed a hand on his cheek, bringing it down so he could rest his forehead against yours
assuring words would fall deaf to his ears so you didnt even bother
instead, you tried to hold his hand, ignoring the flinching, but gently held it and brought it up to rest on top of where your heart would be
his eyes closed and your forehead nuzzled against his 
‘feel my heartbeat. recognize me, as it beats for you’
you whispered to him, his other hand shakingly touching the hand that was on his face so he could caress it and he moved his head, placing a kiss on your palm
‘its beating for kenta-kun,, no foster family, no volleyball team, nobody else and nothing else matters but my heartbeat, so focus on it. because this is everything i could give you so treasure it, please’
you whispered, your own tears falling, hurting for your love
okay im full sobbing
‘and the snow. it will snow soon and you and i,,, we will go outside and we will play in the snow. the world will turn white but your colors will still paint my sight. let my heartbeat be your colors and let me color your canvas during the snow, kyo-san. it will beat for you, and only you, for as long as you let it. your heartbeat has painted mine already and its the most beautiful colors ive ever seen’
he cried for the first time that day, not in pain or sadness, but in happiness, because he can finally see it
your love and your colors starting to brighten the black and red hes grown accustomed to and helping him see, indeed, the world was beautiful
but it was truly your colors that made him realize that
kyotani and you stayed in that position for a long time and yahaba, who went after you, saw and quickly ran back to the gym to assure that you were alright and kyotani was safe, in your arms
after the natsu fiasco, he was a frequent visitor in your house and your family gets the gist of yanno, his home life, and your mother even gave him the spare key of the house
‘if y/n-chan trusts you, i do too’
yall what 😭
at night, you would lay out at the backyard, laying side-by-side and pointing at the stars and making up stupid stories as to why that star was brighter than the other or why the moon was built like that
but kyo was more focused, much happier, that he can see everything so much clearer and better
he turned his gaze from the stars to you beside him, your hair spreading out beneath you and your eyes sometimes disapperaing when you would laugh too hard
‘i wonder why the night sky is blue instead of black like the universe’
you wondered out loud but kyotani whispered something you didnt think youd ever hear from him
‘because you let me paint everything with my colors and i refuse to let you see something that i suffered seeing my entire life’
you returned his gaze and this was the real kyotani kentaro
not kyoken,
not kenta-kun
kyotani kentaro
and my god was he beautiful
he kissed you that night
it wasnt anything lustful, nothing aggressive, but not exactly gentle
it was a perfect balance of need yet hesitance that made it so much more powerful and important because it relayed the unspoken words that he had the hardest time letting out
and that was okay with you
kyo’s eyes and touch said everything he wanted to say
there was no one in sight, no body to judge the violent boy and the kind girl, just you and him with the man in the moon, gently smiling that the so-called lost cause finally found his redemption
okay that serious and sad stuff is finally out of the way and no more crying this time so dont be sad anymore :(
your relationship was never something you flaunted around or bragged about bc you and kyo were pretty private people so nobody really knew bc kyo still acted the way he would when oikawa would flirt you but yahaba noticed
oh lordie he noticed
he noticed kyo was much angrier when oikawa does his antics and he would stick closer to you, exchanging bashful smiles with you
the team only noticed when you seemed to just glow
like not like a glowstick 
but like your,,, aura,,, 
you laughed more, you smiled more, you teased everyone more
you were so,,, you
they had a hunch that something happened between you and kyo but they were never really sure
but ehehehe they confirmed it alright
the third years: mattsun, makki, iwa, and oiks were walking down the hallway when again, someone peaked out the window and saw you and kyo by the shade and you were perfectly angled so they could see the two of you
you were pressed against the wall while kyo was hovering over you with an arm beside your head while his hand was caressing your hip
makki let out a chortled scream that caught the attention of the others and he pointed at you two wordlessly
omg WAS KYOTANI SMILING
they watched as kyo smiled then teased you by kissing your nose, then your cheeks
‘kyo, kiss me right!’
you whined but giggled
kyotani had a teasing smirk but continued kissing you everywhere but where you wanted
‘hm? here? or here?’
right below your ear was your ticklish spot and he knew that so his kisses there tickled you and sent you on a giggling spree
‘kyo~~~!’
finally, he relented and gave you a sweet, yet passionate kiss that always managed to leave you breathless
that was when oikawa went on a rampage
well, he waited until classes were over but during practice, oh girl he went on a rampage
‘Y/N, KYOTANI!’
everyone knew he was serious when he didnt call them with those ridiculous nicknames
ngl you were scared too but kyo just glared at him
‘what’
he grumbled but you instinctively placed a hand on his arm
‘are you dating now, y/n, kyotani?’
iwa gently asked but oikawa was being oikawa
oikawa glared at you then pouted
‘OUT OF EVERYONE HERE, YOU CHOOSE THE DOG?!’
everyone gave each other nervous looks bc they kinda expected this but oikawa asking it like that made them sweat
they expected kyo to blow up but it was you who glared at oikawa, standing protectively in front of kyo
‘and what about it?’
you hissed and oikawa jumped, a hand over his heart
‘REALLY, Y/N-CHAN?! HIM?!’
‘yea and whats the problem with it? how is it your business? why do i need to validate my feelings for him? who do you think you are?’
oml kyo had to drag you out of there bc you were seriously about to fight oikawa for even having the NERVE to say that to you
like kyo held you up with his arms under your armpits as you were kicking the air and wanting to go back in there
‘no! let me go! kyo! i will hit him! come on! baby please!’
you whined and continued kicking
as much as kyo wanted to see you violently hit oikawa, he knew you would feel bad about it later and be guilty for hurting your captain
‘puppy, please. youre too angry right now and i will not sit there and listen to you whine and be sad that you hit oikawa tonight’
you hmphed and crossed your arms
he finally set you down but he wrapped his arms around you from behind and he placed a kiss on your cheek
‘but im really happy though. im really happy that you would fight for me’
but you stayed mad, pouting and looking away with your arms crossed
it was a cute sight honestly
‘of course i would. i would fight anyone who says stuff about you because i love you’
you ranted, just realizing what you said when you finished
no one has exactly said the ‘L’ word yet so you were partly scared that you said it
but kyo laughed then kissed your neck affectionately
‘i love you too, but my puppy is a nice, gentle, kind, little angel’
every compliment earned you a kiss and your tough and angry act finally slipped and you were giggling in his arms
‘yanno, if someone were to see you like this, they would think youre an impostor’
you commented in between giving him little pecks
he shrugged
‘meh. i dont care. i have you so i dont really care what they say about me. but now about you on the other hand-’
you slapped him on the chest
‘you hypocrite! youd fight someone for me but not me fighting someone for you?! how mean!’
you faked a look of surprise but he silenced you with a last kiss
‘youre so cute, y/n. my baby’
the team was a little bit in shambles while you two were away with the third years basically crying and pouting but they really did see this coming so no one was genuinely surprised, even oikawa
‘she really picked him, huh?’
iwa mumbled, a sad smile on his face as if he was just realizing it now
it was something they shouldve easily seen coming and accepted as kyo was so different around you and you treated him so much more than the rest
but why did it hurt so much?
as i mentioned before, they were all really hurting though because in a way, you were their first love
but they wish you to be happy and for kyotani to treat you right because you deserved the universe and more
TIME SKIP!!!!
OH YES I LOVE THIS!!!!
so basically, from my estimation, the timeskip is about 9 years after the third years graduate
so you are like 25 while kyo is 26
lets say you got a job as an editor alongside some guy named akaashi keiji while kyo was still playing volleyball
you got,,,, married quite early like tanaka and kiyoko and you have some minis running around
god decided to give you twins as children like a year after yall wed and currently, you were,,,, having another one??
ehehehe this part made my heart balloon up
imma make it so that kyo actually went to see the olympics with you and your kids are like 3 and theyre actually volleyball fans due to the influence of their uncles and father and partly you
it was easy to get tickets bc iwa literally works for the team and tooru is literally a player and they really wanted to see their godchildren
ngl the team was salty bc you picked them two as godfathers but next time, theyre making you pick out of a hat for your future child
so here you were, each parent carrying a child, lets say the girl is naomi while the boy is naoki, and the girl was wearing a mini argentina oikawa jersey that he specially got for his goddaughter while iwa got naoki a mini kageyama jersey just to spite oikawa
they each were wiggling in excitement to see their uncles and omg imma switch it again that the whole seijoh team is literally there like the og gang is there and watching the olympics
naoki and naomi were excitedly looking around at the unfamiliar faces and kyo was laughing when naomi tugged his collar when she saw her godfather’s picture upclose
‘papa! its kawa! kawa!’
she giggled and he ruffled her mini pigtails
‘it is, isnt it, mimi-chan’
while your son was calmly in your arms, you watched your husband and child interact with each other and her giggling as he tickled her nose
‘y/n-chan! kyoken!’
a familiar shout from only one person made you turn and see oikawa with the others at the back
of course he was huddled in a jacket to not attract attention but the og seijoh volleyball team was back together after so many years apart
‘kawa! hi!!’
naomi wiggled and she told her dad to let her down so she could run up to oikawa who was a few feet away
naoki also caught sight of his idol and you let him run after his sister but crash into the strong arms of iwaizumi
‘hello zumi’
naoki mumbled
‘hey little man! how are you?’
you gave everyone hugs and went to go to a restaurnt nearby to be away from the chaos of the people and kyo could tell you were getting tired standing
he helped you sit on a chair but you kept on grumbling to him
‘kenta, ive been pregnant before, with two! im fine, okay? so stop worrying’
kyo scrunched his nose but flicked your forehead
‘of course i have to worry. you have a literal human being inside of you’
‘well-’
but he used his hand to scrunch your cheeks to prevent you from speaking
‘what? hm, what was it, doll?’
the team gagged 
‘seriously! we suffered 3 years of this already! stop it!!’
kindaichi whined 
you stuck your tongue out at him and everyone got settled on their seats before ordering their food
the children were being entertained by the others and you were giggling at the antics of your friends
‘honestly, you all are nearly 30 yet you still act like children’
you scolded but had a smile on your lips to show you were actually teasing
‘and you act like youre 50 just because youre married with kids’
kunimi countered with his tongue out
you gasped before trying to reach over the table and snatch the tongue out of his mouth
‘come here you litte-’
but kyo gently sat you back down with a stiff smile
‘baby, doll, darling, love, i swear you forget youre not 18 anymore. please youre gonna send your husband to an early grave if you keep acting like this’
he whined, fake crying and the team was so shocked to see him still acting like this 
‘oh my god, y/n-chan, how did you ever get kyoken-chan to be like this? did you brainwash him?’
oikawa mumbled
‘papa dont cry’
naoki tried to reach over the table from iwa’s arms to his father who he thought was really crying
yahaba shook watari in cuteness and mattsun turned to makki
‘can we get one?’
makki scoffed and hit him but still laughed
‘papa is worried that mama will hurt your baby brother, nao-kun’
kindaichi choked on his drink while oikawa screeched, holding naomi tighter
‘BROTHER?! ITS A BOY?!’
the guests in the restaurant were startled by the shriek from the argentina player and you gave kyotani a betrayed look
‘urusai, oikawa!’
kyotani snarled, face turning red at his blunder
‘CAN I BE GODFATHER THIS TIME?!’
‘YAHABA YOU IDIOT! ITS ME!’
‘WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! YOU SHUT UP MATSUKAWA! ITS ME!’
‘OIKAWA YOU GREEDY LITTLE BIT-!’
‘SHUT UP OR I SWEAR TO GOD!’
you slammed your hands on the table, on your feet and glaring down at the men
naoki and naomi were already used to their mother yelling at uncle mattsun and uncle makki so they were snickering at their uncles terrified face
‘mama, they scared’
naoki commented, fiddling with iwa’s jacket zipper
‘its like y/n-chan and kyoken-chan switched personalities or something’
oikawa muttered, still looking wide-eyed at you
‘that’s it. kenta, hold my purse-!’
‘BABY, WHAT-!’
oh my god it was a sight to see
you have this <6 feet professional olympic volleyball player being hit by a pregnant short woman with her shoe and a bleach-blonde man trying to hold her hands so she alternated to kicking
‘y/n-chan! wait!’
‘nearly a decade later and 2 children later, y/n-chan still knows how to hit’
watari watched with a fond smile, reminiscing their old volleyball times
‘will y/n-chan be okay?’
yahaba worriedly asked but naomi gave him a smile that was a copy/paste of her father’s
‘no, uncle baba. its if kawa would be okay’
while everyone else laughed,
oikawa screamed
AND THATS A WRAP! if its not what you guys wanted, not gonna lie, i was even hesitant to write this part because as much as i love kyo, hes quite a hard character to understand and write for, but i didnt want him to be the typical brute caveman child, instead i wanted this to be like him showcasing that hes not just a screaming man but hes a scared boy whos awkward and doesnt know how to express himself. also, its not canon in the manga or the anime, but i put that he was in the foster system and they werent,,, nice,,,, so thats why he knew first aid bc he had to do it on himself and why he was so calm about her getting hurt and treating her. but thank you for reading this one and im about to write an iwa and an oikawa so expect that in the future!!!
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plutoswrath · 3 years ago
Note
i’m sorry to annoy you with this again. i just look up to your kpop mixed with astrology content. but lucas’s neptune contact with his mc is going to annoy the shit out of me until this is fixed. the cloudiness that neptune brings to his public image is something that i think possibly fuels these situations further. false accusations and mixed perceptions based off of them is exactly what makes these scandals to continue on and on. and i’m sick of it. both sides ignore what the other is saying and it gets nowhere. neptune, the malefic bastard.
Hello! I saw your recent asks and I appreciate your words regarding my content, thank you so much for the kind words! <3
I will touch on astrolgy under the cut, but before this happens, I want to leave a few words. There's a reason why I didn't answer the previous questions I received (not only yours op) regarding the Lucas situation so far. For several reasons I didn't want to feed into any sort of (perceived) sensationalism in regards to the Lucas situation, even though I'd really love to look at the situation from an astrological point of view. That people are divided on this topic is to be expected, but I think the way it has been handled by majority so far is very bad. I really want to elaborate on my reasoning why we should rethink the way we talk about/represent the Lucas situation right now, but as this topic is very kpop specific everything will be under the cut.
My reasoning for avoiding any questions about it until now:
1. People already don't take the situation seriously enough: Regardless of what your standpoint is, I'd like for people to consider looking at it from a more critical point of view for a second: The allegations are not about him being exposed as ‘just a f-boy’ as some people make it out to be, they are more serious than that. Lucas allegedly manipulated and used these women for his own emotional/sexual/financial needs and ego boost. The fact that he has money and allegedly still used other people to provide financially for him just demonstrates the power play underneath it all. He abused his position of power as an idol, the power dynamics between him and fans who idolize him are plain and simple just completely off. Please think about the fact, that he allegedly decided who to date on at fansigns. This alone gives no security to any fans that want to attend fansigns in the future. TW SV: he also talked one of these women into having sex with him + doing it unprotected, which is not only emotionally/sexually manipulative/coercive and can possibly be traumatic for them but also heightens the risk for transfering STD's as END TW he was supposedly seeing people at the same time/cheating. In general, the behavior he gets accused of leaves trauma and is abuse, to be more specific abuse of power on multiple levels and his social position makes it just easier to continue abusing that power. As you've mentioned yourself op, there is a huge back and forth about the allegations, and I know people like to take situations like the one of Taeyong as an example to justify that not every public apology is real and that allegations turn out to be false years later, but I believe it's different this time and that the allegations that came forward were real. Even his cbar closed, a fanbase that works closely with Label V (!), that alone shows that there is 'at least' some truth to the story, or else his hardcore fanbase wouldn't have decided to turn their back on him in matters of just days. Also, all the 'jokes' and the portrayal of 'juicy gossip' people make about the situation just downplays and ridicules the possible traumatic experiences of the people that were hurt by his actions. If anyone decides to not believe these allegations until SM gives a more specific statement, that's fine, but please do so without making fun of the people who were victims of his behavior, as there is already little to no sympathy for them online. It makes it just way harder for any survivors in the future to speak out on their experience. People say it's 'nothing illegal, just morally wrong' but given the fact that he is also a person in power, the line between 'just' morally wrong and illegal can be very thin in some cases. And please overthink arguments such as: 'this is typical boy behavior for someone in his 20's'/ 'he's just an f-boy' or 'boys will be boys' because they are deeply misogynistic and we shouldn't normalize behavior like that, thus making the root of the problem actually way deeper than most people think.
2. WayV's future: This mainly goes for people who are fans of WayV. I know not everyone probably likes to hear this, but another thing why wild speculations, sensationalism or even possible defence about this situation should be kept on the low is WayV's career. I want to be honest here, but I'm scared for their future, their comeback for october has been cancelled for now and they are put on a hiatus for several months as far as I know. They were on a good path of gaining more and more recognition and establishing themselves even better as a c-pop group, but now Luca's reputation in China (their target audience) is as good as gone and that pulls all of WayV down to rock bottom with him. People really need to try seeing the story out of the eyes of the korean and especially chinese fans as well, their perception of the allegations (especially after the Kris Wu situation!) are way different and more serious than the ones of i-fans and i-fans have to accept that. Also, we all know how companies (especially SM) handle these type of situations: keep the people on the low till the storm has calmed down. But will the storm ever calm down for Lucas when his public image is basically destroyed, and thus WayV as well? What I want people to understand is that this whole situation affects WayV and their career directly, actually on the biggest scale possible. All the work so far is at risk to be for good and I think a lot of fans tend to forget that, things look especially critical for HenXiaoYanKun if WayV would be to continue/redebute/fall apart. It doesn't matter if Lucas talking bad about the members/the companies/shows he works with/for was real or not in the end, because unfortunately damage is already done, WayV's image (WayV= family) is already tarnished and WayV as a group will suffer from this. You summed it up with malefic Neptune the best actually: We all don't know the full confirmed truth about the situation and will most likely never know it. (small astro insight here as well, but part of Neptune is to accept fantasy for what it is: fantasy, and thus turn to cold reality when you're in too deep)
3. What O'd advice the fandom to do right now: Regardless of your opinion on the situation, what we as a fandom can do best right now is staying on the low, wait things out, and stop adding more fire to the situation with our actions and wait how the situation actually developes, since a) we can not fasten the process and b) a lot of rumors, false information and unnecessary details get exposed to mudd the waters and to discredit the statement of the victims as well. I've seen some strong reactions from both sides, but as someone who's a big fan of nct in general I really just want to say that part of the fandom throwing a fit on the internet leads basically to nothing, it actually only reflects even worse on nctzens/weshennies and thus on WayV's (and also NCT as whole) image as well. Things right now are handled internal, not extern. Whatever gets through to the public will be half of the story anyway. A lot of people seem to forget, that we talk about SM and all they care for right now is saving themselves economically (think about the domino effect this situation has on the whole group/company), so we will have to see what their final decision is going to be, if anything will happen at all. For now, be patient, wait and see. Last words: It's okay to feel hurt/confused/angry/drained. Even though most of us are aware that we dont know any celebrity's character, it's still hard to swallow and to digest because you were a fan of that artist. Let it take time and vent. Take a break from it if it gets too much! Talking about it to process your emotions better is okay and very valid, but keep in mind that you should not worsen the situation by doing so - it's already absolute chaos.
Also: This statement is by no means a direct attack to anyone or me trying to push my opinion onto you, just my two cents in how to handle the situation best right now, because our hands are basically tied. Also: agree to disagree. If you don't like that I side with the victims (unless there is an official statement that Lucas is proven not guilty, which I doubt, unfortunately) then so be it, but don't start a war in my inbox for our opinions differing.
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Now, to astrology:
Disclaimer: This analysis will not be very light-hearted, but remember that it's just a theory and not me trying to confirm anything!
First of all op, sorry for just answering you know, but I neded some time to think through how to adress this without adding to the fire with my astrological analysis! Boy, does the birth time fit the shoe right now. To be fair as I did my short rising sign analysis about him recently, I cancelled out every other fire rising except for Leo, because I got stuck on the ego part a bit. Anything for me made sense, as long as it highlights his ego, which by itself doesn't have to be a bad thing automatically, but there's always two sides of the coin as we all know.
I looked into the transits the past week and added a few asteroids/mathematical points as well. An anon before pointed to the full moon happening in his tenth house, conjunct his sun, etc. (I deleted the ask because I didn't know what was going on at that time and thought it was just the 'usual' rumors that once in a while get spread around, but after looking more into it I decided this was not the right time to stirr the pot in any kind of way or treat it as funny, hot gos). But yeah a full Moon in Aquarius happening in his 10th house AND on top of that Saturn in Aquarius, conjuncting that Moon and his natal Uranus in the 10th! Talk about destrcution of any stable foundation and a change in a public image! Honestly, looking at astrologically the way his public image just got radically destroyed over night, with Saturn and the Moon having been in a conjunction (in his chart it was in the 10th house) is kinda eery even. Talk about collective consciousness - not only exposing quiet literally the feelings of the collective, but also doing so in the favor of others and gaining collective emotional consciousness. Take this with a grain of salt (!), because we're still in a tense situation, but I'm tapping into the darker, unfriendlier side of astrology now. Taking his confirmed birth time, he has Nessus in Sagittarius in his 8th house and as I saw that I could feel myself shifting into the surprised pikachu face. I am not saying that this prooves the allegations whatsoever, but as you seemed to be very interested in anaylzing the case in-depth as well, the allegations fit his Nessus - jumping from partner to partner, carelessness (regarding physical intimacy as well), making people share all their ressources with him/finacial gain, and basically the whole jist of gaining control/being in a power position in intimate connections. Keep in mind that this is only one interpretation of Nessus though, Nessus can also show the complete opposite to someone 'turning to their dark side'. On top of that, his Nessus was conjunct transit Phollus the past week, so if anything, we can see that a large event triggered him to 'open his eyes' and face anything of an 'obstacle' that hinders him from seeing the 'truth' to a larger picture and his own nature/destiny. Pholus can symbolize change that will alter your perception of the responsibility you have for yourself and others.
But my latest new interest with these two asteroids aside (asteroids just add a little more nuance to a situation after all), I want to touch on Lilith too, since you (op) have mentioned Lilith before in one of your asks!
He has his Lilith exactly conjunct his Descendant when we consider his confirmed birth time. What happened just now can be seen as 'backfiring' of his actions, either Lilith embodying the women who expose him now for his 'inappropriate' behavior, but also simply fans shaming him now for his alleged manipulative/imoral behavior, especially shaming him about who he chose to date and how. Next to that, you've mentioned Lilith opposite Moon and it just makes me think about him possibly feeling very indecisive and potentially in denial about what he actually needs to be fulfilled in order to be emotionally happy and thus leading to him appearing to have this 'second, dark side' to him now. BML is not necessarily opposite the Moon in my opinion, it's just the side of the subconscious we don't really like to deal with and all we're told not to express and desire because it can be conflicting in the eyes of others (thus BML also leading to a lot of recklessness on the negative side). I think if we take the allegations into consideration, regardless of how much of it is true of it, it can be a good example what happens, when an opposition gets out of balance, as it also manifests outwardly a lot! Lilith shows in his 'double life' aka what he allegedly did with fans. Lilith wanted an outlet and found one by working behind the scenes. If we take in his supposed Taurus rising, which his Lilith is in an exact opposition with, it's a good example of what can lurk underneath the surface.
And of course, last but not least, Neptune and Sun conjunct his MC. People are quiet literally blinded by him more than they would like to think. Also: Lucas was always known for his 'flirty & charismatic' nature, this is another reason why people think we shouldn't be surprised he 'turns out to be like that in real life'. I'm not analyzing this argument right now, but what I think is very interesting is how Sun conjunct MC literally ties a good amount of their personality to their career - they want to be accepted and shine for their personality/big part of their individuality. Idols play a role, no matter how transparent they appear to us, but it's really funny how this 'image' of him melts almost seemingly with parts of his personality (almost af if you were to quiet literally sell your self) and as you've mentioned: Neptune only adds to that, unfortunately.
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itonje · 4 years ago
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that’s fascinating because I know a lot less than you do and to me it seems
anti-lancelot agenda: the Victorians
anti-kay agenda: like... a lot of the major works
omg hi anon i dont know if you know less than i do but you probably dont i know like nothing im just here LOL youre good and fair warning for my arthurian mutuals or anyone else who reads this really this is going to be my own personal interpretation and not anything you should take as solid fact or analysis LOL also preface im not going to talk ab the prose lancelot here cause i havent read it and i feel weird talking about things i havent read LOL 
anyways i dont think that medieval works where kay gets humiliated or embarassed (which uh. is a lot of them lol) are really trying to say something about how they think kay is a bad person/awful character etc etc i think mostly he’s there for like. some form of comic relief? idk. i think he is certainly a punching bag character most of the time but in an affectionate way, while he does get pummeled a lot its not because the author is trying to condemn him for his actions because they view him as a bad person who needs to be punished its typically to be a. a foil for the mc (typically gawaine) so that their deeds look even greater in comparison (and even that isnt like..a constant imo like in the perilous graveyard kay is a foil to gawaine but its to rag on gawaines inaction and faults i digress) and b. said gag character. also kay has a lot of immunity in the texts lol, no matter what he does and how much he does suffer he does...always get out of it fine no matter what happens to him (see: him getting ragged on by arthur all the time esp in the dutch stuff but he never dies or is that severely harmed or anything even though he most probably should have) even on like..a grander arthurian ‘’canon’’ scale kay is almost always one of the characters to survive the strife of camlann and the fall of camelot so like. yeah. thisll make sense when i talk about lancelot and i will talk about him right now
anyways i think while lancelot is the hero of many romances and literature and who typically gets a more in depth look at his character than kay (but i also think kay one of the few arthurian characters with deeper characterization throughout multiple texts) i think that most of the time he is condemned by the authors even if he isnt said to be explicitly wrong in the text...like lancelot DOES commit many transgressions, far more serious transgressions than kay (while i do think that you are supposed to view knight of the cart as satiricalish/comical in genre awareness you know what i mean adultery is not the same as like cursing people out and then getting the shit beat out of you for doing that) and he DOES get ragged on by the authors for this even if he isnt ragged on in the text itself. like even chretien de troyes, the creator of lancelot (sidenote: do NOT debate me on who came up with lancelot it was de troyes it was him. this does not make lancelot not a valid arthurian character hes just a guy.) did not like him and while knight of the cart textually presents lancelot as a hero the author is condemning lancelot personally and metatextually in a way the author does not condemn kay 
and unlike kay, lancelot DOES suffer for these actions in the text, hes not immune in the same way kay is. in the post vulgate cycle and things based off it which i have actually read like le morte he cannot achieve the holy grail, him and guinevere’s affair (i will put this in big air quotes cause i actually have a lot of opinions on this but i will. keep them out sigh. anyways while i do think the authors of many medieval texts were not personally fond of lancelot i, phineas, am and i find his actions reasonable but this isnt phineasland so i digress) and his actions after the discovery of said affair ie killing all those people is what leads to the fall of camelot and the destruction of arthurs court. and lancelot is doomed to a life of mourning and repentance in the monastery, which i also think is a notable difference between him and kay in medieval texts: lancelot is typically forced to repent. kay is not. 
TLDR: while kay is typically ragged on and humiliated in medieval works more often, my opinion is that lancelot is condemned metatextually by the author and audience in a way kay is not. kay has a sort of immunity for his actions that lancelot (and to be fair, most of the characters in the story) do not. 
anyways to answer your note about the victorians cause imo they’re both two different things to talk about uhhh i really don’t get the vibe that the victorians disliked lancelot (im not really that deep into victorian stuff yet forgive me haha)! in fact, from what ive read and seen so far irt to art it seems to me like they actually were fond of him lol maybe even more than poor old chretien de troyes. (see: richard hovey, ea robinson, william morris all authors that seemed to write about lancelot often and really delved into and explored his character in depth, many times him as a sort of tragique hero)
 i think if the victorians had a conspiracy against any character it would be gawaine, he is very much reduced in importance imo and i think that DOES contribute to the wider western cultural perception of him nowadays ie that he isnt really that important/an archaic/minor character that only shows up in like. one text and we all know which text that is. 
to be fair i think the wider western cultural perception of lancelot is just like. medieval lit gawaine but blonde LOL anyways i dont want this to become a post about gawaine but yeah i think that from the victorian stuff ive read about lancelot they seemed to really get into him as a character and produce a lot of content for him (see, all the artworks he and gwen gets in comparison to other arthurian characters) so unless ive just been misinterpreting everything ive read wrong idk about most of them really disliking him, or even disliking him in the same way the medieval authors did. 
TDLR: i want to stan lancelot the same way that william morris stanned lancelot i want to depose him as the no. 1 lancelot fan 
anyways thank you for sending me this ask!!!! i got to think a little out of my gawaine box cause i usually dont focus on lancelot or kay and im glad i got to flesh out my feelings on their characters more cause of this 
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illfoandillfie · 4 years ago
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ok sorry but how many people do yall think rog has ever slept with cos i’m guessing four figures no lie
okay, i don’t normally respond to messages like this because, frankly, i dont really feel like its my place to speculate on roger’s sex life. Theres a difference between writing a fiction story with a character named after and inspired by him and discussing his actual personal life which i have no real knowledge about. What he gets up to in his free time is between him and the women he does it with. but i didn’t really feel able to ignore this one. please don’t take this as me telling you off or shutting you down or anything like that. If you want to speculate about roger’s body count thats up to you, go nuts with it. and i love when you guys message me and I don’t want to discourage you from feeling like you can talk to me or just send me your random thoughts or whatever about any subject. But I feel like I need to address why I disagree with this sentiment. Also so I can ask ya’ll to please stop asking me questions like this. 
So firstly, just to get this out of the way. 1000 is a lot. even 100 is a lot. I think if rog had slept with 1000+ people he’d have a least a few illegitimate kids and probably would have been checked into rehab for sex addiction (not to mention STIs and such because lbr people in the 70s specifically probs werent the most careful especially if drugs were involved). I mean even if we were going to say Rog got lucky with a different woman after every show we wouldn’t reach 1000. According to google, Queen played around 700 shows in their entire career. If we add shows played by The Cross thats only another 67 odd shows (according to wikipedia). 
now, i think there are 3 things that contribute to this idea of roger as especially promiscuous. 1. His attitude/demeanour/general way he sells himself. 2. the generally held conceptions about rock stars and rock star behaviour. and 3. what i’m going to call fandom dumbassery (but i mean that with a lot of love) 
So lets start with the man himself. Roger Taylor is loud and opinionated and not particularly humble. He knows he’s talented and attractive though for at least some time he was a little self-conscious about how feminine he looked. He’s always up for a laugh, likes to party and has admitted to enjoying his drink and his women. He’s had kids with two different women, who’s relationships “overlapped”, and is currently married to a third. At least that’s the perception we can gleam from his interviews, behind the scenes videos, and other public appearances. 
It’s easy to see how that image leads to accusations of being a womaniser and a cheater and basically a bit of a slut lmao. But here’s the thing. I think Roger, in part, markets himself that way. The thing is, if you look at his solo songs and the relationships he currently has with his kids and their mothers, and things other people have said about him/his relationships over the years, I think it’s fair to say he also has a bit of a romantic streak maybe? idk if thats the best way of describing it...he’s self confessed to not being a fan of marriage and the like but he’s not opposed to writing and singing love songs and seems to believe in ~love~ as a concept/power. He certainly cares deeply for those closest to him. Whether or not that translates to an agreement with monogamy I can’t say for certain. It’s hard to draw conclusions here because a lot of what we know of his personal life was fed to us through magazines and news paper gossip column articles and they were never looking for the truth, they were looking for scandal and sensationalism. 
For instance the whole thing with the overlapping relationships. I think most people who have read anything about roger and dom and debbie realise that it’s not as cut and dry as “he was cheating with debbie and left dom for her” even though that was the story being sold by the press at the time. The reality (or at least the version closer to reality since obviously no one outside of them and whoever they were closest with knows all the nitty gritty details) is that rog and dom had already split when they got married. it was a marriage of convenience to make sure her and the kids would be looked after financially etc even after he’d moved out. So while it looked to the public like he married one chick and 30 odd days later was spotted with another, there really wasn’t anything untoward happening.  I’m not saying he never had casual hookups or one night stands and i’m not saying he never cheated, but I do think some of it’s been exaggerated, whether by him to encourage the rock star perception or by newspaper/magazine articles.
Now, obviously, we have stories of rog, particularly in the late 60s and into the 70s, being with multiple women. There’s that bit in the Interview with a Queen “Groupie” (which is a fantastic read and i defs recommend checking it out if you havent already) where she talks about roger being a chick magnet and says that, at the time, it was pretty common to sleep about. But, she also says she didnt notice him doing it more or less than anyone else and seemed to mostly be with Jo (his girlfriend at the time). This is the same Jo that got a mention in the Queen in 3D book (”i think we all had the feeling that these two were together for life, but it was not to be”). Conversely, we have that quote (which i cannot find rn but i’ll link it when i do) about roger sometimes having one girl upstairs while another waited in the garage for them to be finished. I think it was about Rog in the mid-late 60s in Truro but whatever. Obviously he wasn’t anywhere near celibate and it’s likely was sleeping with people outside of his relationship(s). But one has to assume that as he got older those kinds of antics stopped happening, at least as frequently.
There is one potential story that I remember reading somewhere along the way about Roger cheating on Debbie while she was pregnant. But, take that with a grain of salt because I can’t find the article again and also I think it was from like The Sun or something equally as rubbish. The press was notoriously always printing mean shit about the boys and that might have been another thing they published to create scandal. Even so, if we assume it’s legit that is still only 1 story. Not to throw him under the bus but Brian is the one with multiple confirmed affairs, who literally wrote songs about it all. So why is Roger the one with sleazy reputation? 
This is where my second and third points come in. There is a pervasive idea about what it means to be a rock star. The whole trashing hotel rooms, sleeping with groupies, passing out drunk every night thing. And I’m sure that Queen was like that to an extent. I think it’s pretty common knowledge that all of them got up to shit on the road. Between innuendo laden interviews and songs, videos and accounts of their parties, stories CT has put online, and other stories like the one of Roger bringing out lines of coke as dessert when he was having dinner with motley crue. They definitely embraced the rock and roll lifestyle. And I think with Roger’s personality being what it is, it’s easy to link him to those traditional rock star tropes and say it was all true all the time. I also think Roger has done nothing to counter those beliefs. He’s been open about how he wanted to be a rock star since the minute he picked up a guitar, he’s labelled himself as a great lay in magazines, he’s joked about girls pulling their tits out over dinner in interviews (though he said he didnt take her home), he’s written songs like One Night Stand and Dirty Mind and Airheads which explicitly mention his preference for women and alcohol. I think it’s fair to say he’s kind of encouraged that view of himself. Whether it was just a side effect of being part of such a well known band and having such a boisterous demeanour/personality, or whether it was intentional as a version of promotion i don’t know. maybe a mix of them? I mean I’m sure it didn’t hurt sales and stuff. it’s the whole guys want to be him, girls want to be with him thing, right? Maybe that’s just me being cynical though lmao. 
Anyway, the fandom brain has taken all of that and compressed it into memes and jokes about rog being the band slut. Which i’m not complaining about, lord knows i’ve made the same jokes and reblogged the same posts and used those tropes in my fics. They’re funny and lend themselves to interesting fic concepts. Plus, i think roger is the sort of person who would probably laugh about most of it. But it’s an idea that keeps feeding into itself through fandom, perpetuating what is probably a misguided view of his personal life.
Again, I am sure he’s had his fair share of fun and I’m not trying to make out that he was always perfect or whatever, but I don’t think he’s been with as many women as the popular discourse would imply and I certainly don’t think he’s in the 4 digit numbers. 
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its-ya-boi-autumn · 4 years ago
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sjdbfisdb your writing is so good!!!! i loooovveeeee the feitan ones so much ahg. im content starved. i dont know if youve already done this since i just found ur acc, but could you do one with with machi in it? maybe fluff? idk...
I've actually never done Machi! I love her so muchhhhh I'm an attention whore for her 😂😂 I didn't know if you wanted male or female, so I did this platonically and tried to avoid anything suggestive of gender (most of the time I try to do that anyway but still)
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"Right on time!" you greeted Machi happily, smiling gently at her. She didn't return it. Must of been in a bad mood. Your own mood changed slightly, eyebrows furrowing and squinting at her.
"What happened? You good?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, just ran into some trouble on the way here. " Her arms were crossed over her chest defensively though she finally let a small smile tug at her lips. You sighed in relief. At least you wouldn't have to deal with the bad attitude all day.
You wouldn't necessarily call it a date, mostly because Machi and yourself had been friends for a few months, but you'd offered to take her out to the small cafe just downtown of your apartment. To your surprise, she obliged.
"So, other than that 'trouble' you ran into, how's your day been so far?" you tried to make light conversation. Machi didn't seem to be very talkative in general, though she let her arms fall down to her sides.
"Eh, it's been okay I guess. It happened the second I woke up. Some guy just started banging on my door and yelling."
"How long was he there for?"
"Dunno, don't care. Must of been all morning." she looked away from you and instead to her side, watching for something. Her alertness didn't go unnoticed, though you said nothing. You wanted to avoid making her uncomfortable or seeming invasive at any cost. She told you what she wanted to, and that was all. You didn't want to ruin your relationship when it just started. Though, your own anxiety was beginning to swell in your chest. Who was she looking for?
"So, have you ever been to this place before?" you attempted to start a new topic in order to muffle the apprehension wrapping itself tightly around you. You even started searching for an unknown source of your worry, darting your eyes every where for a threat you didn't even know was there. Machi seemed to take notice.
"Don't worry, nothing is here right now." she started, "And, as long as you're with me, you're safe. Also, no, I haven't been here before." she chuckled at your reaction. You let your guard fall down and continued to walk with her. You had seen Machi fight before so you knew you were probably safe. Still though, you couldn't help but be wary of the world around you. Your hands fumbled over each other nervously.
One of Machi's hands covered both of yours, lowering them slowly. You met her gaze. She was... Gentle?
"Hey seriously, don't worry about it. Everything's gonna be fine~" she reassured you softly, never taking her eyes off you. The world around you seemed lighter now, better than it was a few moments ago.
The two of you simply kept walking together, bodies in sync with one another while you spoke. Machi didn't seem the domestic type, but right now she was rather calm and perceptive. Not only of her surroundings but also of your conversation. She was genuinely listening and giving effort to hold up with you. This in and of itself made you glow on the inside.
Eventually, the two of you managed to make your way to the small café on the corner. You would have passed it up entirely had Machi not pointed it out to you.
“Alright, I hope this was worth leaving home for...” Machi spoke more to herself than to you, and you knew she didn’t mean it offensively. However, the words still reached you in a negative tone. You didn’t let it bother you too much as you knew she’d like it a little bit at the very least.
There wasn’t much to the area. It was rather bland looking and unassuming for someone who was new to the café. Machi didn’t seem to mind though, even letting her guard down more. Obviously, despite the cream color of the walls and typical swirly cursive writing on the white boards, this place struck her as somewhere comfortable. Safe. Safe from whatever had been bothering her earlier that morning. A part of you wanted to ask her about it, to see if possibly you could help with whatever it was. The other part of you said that it was none of your business though and that it would just be better not to ask. You were sure that whatever it was, Machi could handle her own.
“So, what do you think?” you asking while stepping in front of her view, eyeing the photos on the wall of coffee brews and of food they served here. Machi said nothing, still taking it all in. You didn’t push her, at least not until the waiter arrived with two menus in hand.
“Two?” She held up two fingers. You nodded, tugging on Machi’s sleeve to ensure she wouldn’t be in the way of the next customers to enter. You snapped her out of her trance, letting go of her immediately so she wouldn’t feel alarmed. She followed willingly after you and seated herself across from you in the chair closest to the wall. The waiter set your menus down on the glossy wood and pulled out a pen and paper pad.
“Can I get you started off with some drinks?” her voice was pitched in a friendly manner, fake and rather transparent. Machi took a quick glance behind the waiter even though her menu was right in front of her.
“I’ll just have some green tea for now.” she started, her hands playing with the edge of the menu.
“Just an iced mocha for me, thank you.” you smiled at the waiter as she wrote down your drinks.
“Alright, I’ll come back out when they’re ready.” she said, placing her paper pad back into her apron pocket and walking off. For a few moments, neither you nor Machi spoke. Both of you stared at your menus, searching for something to eat. You hadn’t really found anything to eat yet since you had been feeling picky lately when the waiter came up and handed out the glasses with your drinks in them. Machi closed her menu and set it to the side, her hands folding on the table and her back completely straight. Was something off? Did she sense someone nearby that shouldn’t be. She seemed to be relaxed but on the off hand she was awfully aware of her surroundings. Not that it was a bad thing entirely, it just made you nervous. It made you feel like maybe you should be more aware as well.
Machi plainly told the waiter what she wanted and then turned her attention to you. Blushing you stuttered out something you thought you might want, even though it didn’t sound entirely appetizing. You were more focused on Machi’s mood changes than on your order. The waiter said something you didn’t quite hear and then walked off again.
“Are you okay?” her voice broke through to you. You flinched at the sound. Her brow cocked up in judgement.
“Yeah... just anxious, that’s all.”
“I already told you, as long as you’re with me, you-”
“I know! But your mood keeps changing, like you sense something somewhere and it’s making me jittery...” you blurted a little louder than you wanted to, drawing the eyes of some people close by. Machi took notice of this but made no move to meet any of them. Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
“I’m sorry... I just wanna know what happened and you keep making it seem like whoever was bothering you is still close by.”
“He is.” her voice was completely flat. You shrunk in your seat, head and eyes down to avoid her own. The monotone change made you think you had upset her, making you feel insecure of your next moves.
“I’m sorry...” you mumbled it, you didn’t even know if she heard. Machi sighed, pulling her chair closer to the table and taking a quick glance around the café.
“Look,” she started, “he’s not an enemy, he’s an ally. He’s just been causing some trouble lately and he’s been following me around. He won’t hurt you or me, so we’re okay. I don’t know about anyone else though.” she explained. Her voice remained soft, an attempt to reassure you of your situation while still being honest. A part of you thought it worked as your hands and legs stopped fidgeting about the table. Everything was going to be okay. Whoever this ‘ally’ of Machi’s was couldn’t of been that bad if he hadn’t already shown himself. You tried to calm down some more, just to not create a scene for anyone else. Straightening your back, you leaned forward on the table like she did.
“Okay, can I get a name?” 
“No, that puts both of us in danger.”
“D-danger?” you uttered, feeling yourself shrink again. Machi’s eyes widened. She must of said something she shouldn’t have. Maybe she meant to word that sentence differently and just hadn’t thought about it. Either way, it made you start to worry even more.
“Hey, y/n, we’re okay. I’m right here. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you and I don’t think he’d even try to.” she tried again, trying to make sure you wouldn’t cause a scene. You tried to comply and calm down.
By the time you had actually managed to sit still, your food had arrived in front of you. Machi was already digging in before the waiter could set her plate down.
“You must have been hungry!” you joked, taking a bite of your own food, changing the attitude if the atmosphere once again. Machi didn’t laugh back, just hummed a yes in response, too busy chewing to actually speak. You giggled to yourself, hoping that whatever she was talking about earlier was just talk and that there wasn’t actually anyone there to bother the two of you. And if there was someone here, you hoped they’d just leave you be. You were having a good time with Machi, and you enjoyed her company. You didn’t want this to be ruined by some random stranger. 
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drangues · 4 years ago
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Sometimes you gotta tear a character in half to make them work properly, you know? And buddy I think you made a typo because I don’t,, I don’t think you meant Kunikida passing away. I’m only mentioning because I got one hell of a case of whiplash and I. Was not expecting that. But! Yeah, Dazai is Dazai and he’ll do nice things in a very Dazai way, that’s just how it be. As for Atsushi and Byakko- I could definitely see it going down like that! (Nyanon, 1/5)
Though I wonder if any other characters would be like that, too... Chuuya, since he has Arahabaki, and maybe Shibusawa as well- Not sure what they’d be, though. (Also akjxrcnjijmISJNXNEI IM,,, I DONT DEAL WITH COMPLIMENTS WELL IM NOT CUTE AAAHHH-) Anyways, the idea of Fukuzawa running an organization like that... As long as it’s underground, I could see it! Since anyone with an ability is just hunted down and killed here, being too public would be dangerous, I think? (Nyanon, 2/5)
I do like the idea of Dazai being the “medic” in a sense though. And the Port Mafia... Hm. Maybe they’re a sort of more extremist, anti non abilitied people organization? And while Fukuzawa and Mori don’t like the methods the other uses, they begrudgingly get along sometimes. I don’t know, I just want the PM and the ADA to be friends. Kinda. But! Moving on to a fluffy Dazatsu Concept (because I love them): Please consider Dazai trying to flirt with Atsushi. (Nyanon, 3/5)
And this is before they get together! So Atsushi never thinks he means it. Sometimes it’s because of his low self esteem (IE- “There’s no way Dazai-san would like me, and doesn’t he flirt with lots of people anyways?”), sometimes it’s because something happens to make Dazai seem insincere or like he’s joking (IE- Someone he slept with once pops out of no one and tries to be all lovey dovey with him in front of Atsushi because they still think he’s attractive or something). (Nyanon, 4/5)
Either way Dazai can. NOT. Catch a break. The poor man just wants to date his coworker, someone help him. (Nyanon, 5/5)
*goes to reread my ask* *sees typo* aha aha noo nyanon omg ur blind im so worried go 2 the Doctor i think ur seeing things Wrong l Ol aHAAHAA-
arahabaki,,,maybe hes a cursed god that was banished as well?? an evil cursed god?? cause chuuya gets pretty fucked UP when he gets corrupted by arahabaki so,,,could be that arahabaki got into chuuyas body willingly just to gain control over him but,,,turns out thats pretty hard to do for him (meanwhile shibusawa looks like the bitch who would make a deal with the devil no offence AGSHJKDS) ACCEPT ME CALLING YOU CUTE
mori and fukuzawa bedrugingly get along cus theres no real “research” on how to tame abilities or what it truly entails since people just view it as striking a deal with the devil and wont believe when ability users say that Hey We Did Nothing Of The Sort (so thats why fukuzawa cant criticise mori’s techniques to taming someones abilities since it kinda works, except it adds on a BIT of trauma, and mood i also want ada and pm to be friends.)
GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE THE OBLIVIOUS ATSUSHI TROPE ITS SO FUCKING CUTE, dazai will even do a marriage proposal in a form of a pick up line before actually just spelling it straight out for atsushi that he Likes Him. the moment dazai thinks theyre getting somewhere someone of his past flings comes up to him and it all goes down the drain- plus i can certainly see that dazai has a natural flirty personality and atsushi is a bit Too perceptive for his own good when it comes to others 
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gunnerpalace · 5 years ago
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Hi! Same anon as the previous one. Tbh, I agree wholeheartedly with you. Y'see I do ask rhetorically,too but i could really accept and understand how and why ppl can be oblivious to IchiRuki, and somehow felt that the 'canon' should suffice, even the most excruciating of all is the fact a number found the ending even acceptable (ships aside, too). Again, I could respect that. But it's my greatest bane when ppl ask 'why' and not be clear they are asking rhetorically because I literally will
provide you an actual answer. And I get it, it’s the reason why ppl find shipping wars toxic and silly. But then again, as human, conflicts are always part of us (partly because as social psych explains so, we are gravitated to the negative for that allows us to change and survive), and the reason why “logical fallacies” are coined in the first place. Human will always debate, and argue about something; the only thing we could change is how we approach the opposing views.
Again, I dont condone any way, shape or form of abuse and harm. In some certain extent, I could perhaps understand it’s much harder for some IH to approach the actual argument being there’s either too much noise, and trapped in their own island between sea of salt. Thus becoming too acquianted w/ few IH who shared the same thought until it became their views as the only truth (see, that’s why its important to have debates! it is what keep us grounded and fair! Just like you said)
Who am I to speak though? I never ever challenged anyone anyways. And as you said, you just have to understand things in every way you could possibly think of–endless ‘whys’. Which is where I agree in your reply the most–this silly fandom wars is just the black mirror to every truth that lies beneath human psyche–the dark and the grimy. Heck, being a psych major is like staring at dark hole–at times, good, but most just plain confusing, revolting even or just heartbreaking.
Sorry it’s been long, but for the final of this ask: let me tell how glad I was with IchiRuki fandom I found in tumblr. It was the saltiest I’ve ever been (im not generally a fandom person anyways) but it’s the himalayan salt–expensive and actually nutritive it really deepened my desire to become wiser in general. And you for your wonderful essays, critiques and whatnot. I definitively would love to talk with you more not only about IchiRuki but the wonders and nightmare that us humans! Kudos!
I have sitting in my drafts a post spelling out my thoughts on “canon” (and thus, the people who cling to it) in that as a concept it privileges:
officiality over quality when it comes to validity (thus violating Sturgeon’s law)
corporations (intellectual property rights holders) over fans, and thus capitalists over proletarians
hierarchical dominance over mutualist networking within fandom
curative fandom over transformative fandom
genre over literary content
plot over characters
events over emotions
It is notable that (1) generally degrades art as a whole, (2) generally advances the capitalist agenda, and (3–7) generally advances the dominance of men over women (as the genders tend to be instructed by society to view these as A. dichotomies rather than spectrums, and B. to ascribe gender to them and make them polarities). These form the sides of a mutually reinforcing power structure (in the typical “Iron Triangle” fashion) designed to preserve and maintain the status quo.
Who really benefits from say, the policing of what is or is not “canon” in Star Wars? Disney, first and foremost. And then whomever (almost certainly male) decides to dedicate their time to memorizing the minutiae of whatever that corporation has decided is “legitimate.”
One can imagine a universe in which fan fic is recognized by companies for what it is: free advertising. (Much like fan art already is.) Instead, it is specifically targeted by demonetization efforts in a way that fan art isn’t. Why? Because it demonstrates that corporate control and “official” sanction has no bearing on quality, and it is thus viewed as undermining the official products.
In the same way, by demonstrating that most “canonical” works are frankly shit, it undermines the investiture of fans in focusing on details that are ultimately errata (the events, the plot, the genre), which is the core function of curative fandom and the reason for its hierarchical structure. The people who “know the most” are at the top, but what they “know” is basically useless garbage. And those people so-engaged are, of course, usually male.
To “destroy” the basis of their credibility, and indeed the very purpose of their community, is naturally viewed by them as an attack.
(This is not to say that efforts to tear down internal consistency within established cultural properties are good unto themselves, or even desirable. For example, efforts to redefine properties such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Ghostbusters, for the sake of a identity-politics agenda have largely A. failed as art, B. failed as entertainment, C. failed to attract the supposedly intended audience, and D. failed to advance the agenda in question. Trying to repurpose extant media in the name of culture wars is essentially always doomed to failure unless it is done deftly and gradually.)
(At the same time, this also shows what I was talking about last time, with regard to people seeing whatever they want to see. You will see people complain that Star Trek and Doctor Who didn’t “used to be so political,” which is obviously nonsense. These shows were always political. What changed was how their politics were presented. For example, Star Trek has, since TNG, always shown a nominally socialist or outright communist future, but was beloved by plenty of conservatives because they could [somehow] ignore that aspect of it.)
Of course, almost no one is seriously suggesting that one side of the spectrums outlined above be destroyed, rather merely that a new balance be struck upon the spectrum. But, as we have seen time and again in society, any threat to the status quo, whether that be 20% of Hugo Awards going to non-white male authors or the top income tax rate in America being increased by a measly 5.3% (from 28.7% to 34%… when the all-time high was 94% and for over 50 years it was above 50%) is a threat. This is why, for example, Republicans are out there branding AOC as a “socialist” when her policies are really no different at all from a 1960 Democrat who believed in FDR’s New Deal. (Which they, of course, have also demonized as “socialism.”)
(As an aside, all this ignores the fact that most of the “literary canon” of Western civilization, or at least English literature… is Biblical or historical fan fic.)
And this is when I finally get to my point.
Those people out there who denigrate and mock shippers and shipping, the people who hurl “it reads like fan fiction” as an insult, and so on, are the people who benefit from and enjoy the extant power structure. You will see the same thing with self-identified “gamers” complaining about “fake girl gamers.” Admitting that the hobby has a lot of women in it, and a lot of “casuals,” and is indeed increasingly dominated by “non-traditional demographics” is an affront to the constructed identity of being a “gamer.” They are “losing control.” And they don’t like it.
This exact same sort of population is what the “fanbase” of Bleach has been largely reduced down to through a slow boiling off of any actual quality. Of course they’re dismissive of people who are looking for anything of substance: their identity, their “personal relationship” with the franchise, is founded on a superficial appreciation of it: things happening, flashy attacks, eye-catching character designs, fights, etc.
(What this really boils down to, at heart, is that society at large has generally told men that emotions are bad, romance and relationships of all kinds are gross, and that thinking and reflecting on things is stupid. So of course they not only don’t care about such things, but actively sneer at them as “girly” or “feminine,” which is again defined by society at large as strictly inferior. And this gender divide and misogyny is of course promulgated and reinforced by the powers that be, the capitalists, to facilitate class divisions just like say racism generally is.)
(The latest trick of these corporate overlords has been the weaponization of “woke” culture to continue to play the people off one another all the time. “If you don’t like this [poorly written, dimensionless Mary Sue] Strong Female Character, then you are a racist misogynist!” They are always only ever playing both sides for profit, not advancing an actual ideological position. It is worth noting that there was a push by IH some years ago to define IR as “anti-feminist” for critiquing Orihime for essentially the exact same reasons [admittedly, not for profit, but still as critical cover].)
Which makes it very curious, therefore, that the most ardent IH supporters tend to be women. (Though there are more than a few men, they seem to tend to support it because it is “canon” and to attack it is to attack “canon” and thus trigger all of the above, rather than out of any real investment.) I think there are a number of reasons for this (which I have detailed before) and at any rate it is not particularly surprising; 53% of white women voted for Trump, after all.
What we are really seeing in fandom, are again the exact same dynamics that we see at larger and larger scales, for the exact same reasons. The stakes are smaller, but the perception of the power struggle is exactly the same.
Of course, the people who are involved in these things rarely think to interrogate themselves as to the true dimensions and root causes of their motivations. People rarely do that in general.
Putting all that aside, I’m glad that you have found a place you enjoy and feel comfortable, and thank you for the kind words, although I am not of the opinion that there is anything poignant about the non-fiction I write. It is, as I keep trying to emphasize, all there to be seen. One just has to open their eyes. So, it’s hard for me to accept appreciation of it.
Anyway, don’t feel shy about coming off of anon rather than continuing to send asks. We don’t really bite.
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d3athwish · 4 years ago
Text
very long gender talk under the cut
thinking about how when I was in the 7th grade I was like ah I am nonbinary my pronouns are they/she and I said that with confidence on my instagram bandom/aes account without a care in the world. and then i left bandom and i was like ah i am not going to think about gender please nobody perceive me and that includes myself. if i think about gender for even a second then i will die. and then i rejoined bandom and i am again confidently saying i am nonbinary my pronouns r they/them (with exceptions). and my point is that it’s beautiful what seeing some dudes in makeup can do for your self acceptance❤️ no im kidding that is not the point. but actually it kind of is!
when i was 12 i didn't read into mcr lyrics and connect them to transness at all, because i was 12 and wasn’t yet intelligent enough to do so. but i saw gerard, along with other musicians, being gnc and i really connected with them, with their rebellion of the gender binary regardless of if they were cis or not. i saw gerard and ryan ross flaunting their makeup and cute little outfits around on stage and i thought to myself huh, if they can do that then i can reject the restrictions put on me by the gender binary as well! and when you’re so young, these think pieces we all spout out now don’t really matter, because you see people who you connect with regardless of if they are actually what you are or not and at the time it’s enough, the think pieces can come later in life. so part of my point is that trans people are allowed to connect with figures like this regardless of whether or not those figures themselves are trans as well, because nobody should be able to say “no that person isn't trans you can't relate to them or find self acceptance through their personal presentation.” like why does that matter so much to some people? why do people feel the need to police what trans people do and dont connect with? I think if a trans person finds some meaning and parts of themselves in the media, even if that thing isn't trans, then the meaning is still just as valuable to them.
So this was my view of everything when I was really young- obviously there is hardly any nuance to it and I dont identify as what I did back then (I used to id as genderfluid specifically, but now I just id as nb), but that’s fine. I was a kid, and kids often don’t look into things the same way older teenagers and up do. and older teenagers dont look at things the same way as middle aged people and so on and so forth but that's not the point. the point is when you’re so young, sometimes all you know (or all I knew, at least) is that you dont like the gender everyone perceives you as and you relate to these people who break their own barriers, and it’s ENOUGH. it’s enough to help you and even if that person isn't trans, your connection to them isn't any less valid. and this obviously applies to older people as well, and it also applies to anytime in your ~gender journey~ but I'm just speaking from my own experience here.
and when I left bandom and mainly focused on mainstream media, the height of breaking the gender binary was, like, millionaire white gays putting on glam makeup. and saying that out loud makes it sound exactly like what the musicians I looked up to were doing, but I think the difference is that beauty gurus put on makeup to be beautiful and I could not connect to that or relate to that because wanting to be beautiful was the exact thing I was trying to escape from. it wasn't like fucking up your face with some red eyeshadow to look cool and evil, it was putting on 50 dollar highlighter to conform to capitalist standards of beauty. so because there wasn't any gnc representation I was looking to, I slowly began to hide from myself and became incredibly uncomfortable thinking about gender at all, and I stopped identifying as anything, never said I was cis but never said I wasn't, you know how it goes. and these years of my life really shine a light on how important finding things you can connect with and attach to as a trans/gnc/nb person is- again, even if those things aren't actually directly trans themselves. especially because we are lacking so much to cling to already, but also just because these connections of ours are personal and can help us for a plethora of reasons.
then I came back to bandom and the gerard way gender discussions came in my life at full speed and very quickly I began to reconnect with gerard specifically and I dunno, seeing all of that was so incredibly healing, I suppose. I spent a lot of time with a lot of anxiety about my gender because I had nothing to cling to or find meaning in, and even though I listened to mychem throughout those years I didn't analyze things like that, so really I owe a lot of the resurgence of my self acceptance to all of yalls gerard way gender think pieces lol. there are other figures I still connect with regarding this, but gerard specifically not only because of his directly expressed experiences with gender but also because of the analyses of lyrics and symbols brought to light to me by mcr tumblr. so my other point is that when a community of trans/nb/gnc people connect with someone, that connection absolutely should not be policed by others in any way, shape, or form. it just so happens that in the case of gerard, they have explicitly expressed their own gender experiences that do not align with being cis (and if you think that they do then you need to genuinely reevaluate your perception of gnc/nb people). but even if they hadn't, even if gerard arthur way was like I Am Cisgender I Have Never Questioned My Gender In My Life then guess what? trans people would still be allowed to connect with them. because it isn’t up to anybody what others find themselves in.
Anyways. I think this post was all over the place and I dont expect anyone to have read it but I just think people need to just fuckingjejbfakjnfjab stop being so scared of nb people. a lot of other ppl have said this stuff better and there's a lot more I could have elaborated on but u get the gist! the gist being: cis people shut the fuck up
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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago
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I'm not sure if you got my request because i didn't had internet when i sent it, so i'll write it again xd Do you think Dick (and the batboys in general) are famouse like Bruce? Because in the comics there's not any clue about it, i've never seen anyone say something like "oh look! Its Dick Grayson!, y'know, Wayne's first ward/son And its a shame, because reporters would make such a hard life to all of them, it would maka a good narrative tool
Honestly, this is a prime example of that inconsistency I rant about, and also DC’s refusal to just COMMIT on even the most basic aspects of their universe like….uh…how many kids does Batman have. 
afhsahfklahsklfhal
Like, you would think that would meet the MINIMUM requirements of “shit you should probably have figured out and make sure everybody’s on the same page with” but DC’s like….nah, that’s not important.
So I mean…..I’m reasonably certain - like this is just my personal belief, but I’d put money on it being right, lol - but I think the primary reason there’s so little mention in the comics of how Bruce’s kids are viewed in the public eye/how much the public are aware of them (in the New 52, at least, as pre-Flashpoint there was a lot more plot around that kind of thing, especially back in the 80s and 90s)……
…is because 90% of the writers and editors have no clue either, and nobody wants to be the one to ask, and like, open that can of worms. I 100% think you could ask five different writers at DC which kids Bruce has OFFICIALLY adopted in this current continuity, and get five different answers, lol.
There’s been so much handwaving about Dick’s status ever since Spyral, and again - I think its because nobody bothered to think through the logistics of the Hypnos/global-mindwipe machine BEFORE writing it into the story, and then once it did occur to any of them to like….wonder just how specifically it worked, they were like, fuck it, better just be as vague as possible. So, according to Grayson, everyone Helena didn’t program into the exclusion list before the satellite was activated should have no recollection of Dick Grayson, which is why he was able to ‘go back to his old life’ and be Nightwing again, without worrying about his secret identity having been unmasked…..
But what does that mean for his official identity as adopted son or even just ward of billionaire Bruce Wayne? People can’t have NO memory of Dick Grayson and still remember that Bruce Wayne took in a kid named Dick Grayson. I mean, as far as I can tell, the overall consensus in the comics seems to be that after the satellite was activated, Dick just kinda started from scratch as ‘Dick Grayson’ like, he was free to be himself again, but it was like he was a blank slate/came out of nowhere as far as everyone else was concerned. But again, that means as far as anyone outside of their close circle of family and friends know….Dick Grayson is a non-entity to Bruce Wayne and the two have no history. 
Which I mean, is fairly shitty and you’d think if nothing else, there’d be massive story potential there for delving into Dick’s character and his relationship with Bruce and examining how he felt about ‘having his old life/identity back’….except with the caveat that as far as the world is concerned, his life and identity don’t and have never included his father.
Cut to DC: Naaaaaaaah.
But even WITH that, plot holes persist, and abound, because…..why didn’t the satellite erase the Court of Owls’ knowledge/memory of Dick? Even before Luthor gave Cobb those goggles and files to help him with bringing Ric into the fold, Cobb clearly was already stalking Ric and knew exactly who he was….the Court obviously already had that doctor in place while he was still in recovery…so, whoops. I mean, you could probably come up with an explanation about the Court, via their own tech and resources, having had some protections in place 24/7 that kept the satellite from affecting them even though they weren’t on guard for it specifically…..but again, Occam’s Razor….I feel like the real answer is DC just didn’t care enough to think things that far through. Especially since the average Bludhaven citizen, like Bea, at least didn’t seem totally blown away when Ric revealed to her that amnesia aside, he was supposedly some rich billionaire’s adopted kid….which again suggests that as far as the writers were thinking, people in general are familiar with the idea that Bruce Wayne has more than one kid.
Then you’ve got Jason’s whole situation, and to be honest….I really only have the vaguest idea what’s going on there, because reading Lobdell books is against my religion, and I am a devout and deeply spiritual person, as you all probably can tell. I mean, I know that there’s something going on where like, Jason had himself legally resurrected in the public eye and is openly referring to himself as Bruce Wayne’s formerly-assumed dead foster kid……but like, is that the official official word, or would other writers if you asked them say they’d been operating under the assumption Bruce had adopted Jason too at some point in the Rebirth timeline, or….idek, man.
I…..honestly don’t have the faintest fucking clue what to make of the many back-and-forth retcons about Tim and his parents and his official place in the Batfam/relationship with Bruce, and am actually slightly terrified of even trying to make sense of that clusterfuck of a Gordian knot, so my official stance on Tim is to just like….back sloooooowly away from the anthropomorphic-migraine-masquerading-as-a-backstory, without like….agitating it and accidentally setting off another multiverse Crisis birthed wholly from just that one all-consuming black hole of a retcon.
I mean, there’s a reason I basically just shoehorn all the kids’ official pre-Flashpoint family statuses into anything I write in Rebirth continuity, and that’s not just stubbornness and my refusal to play the “now this kid is adopted…now he’s not…now he is again….except he’s not….oh he’s adopted again…..oh wait now he’s not again" game. 
Its like. Also for the sake of my sanity and stuff.
(And also hahahahaha fuck you DC times infinity, every time you use the words “blood son,” or “real family” in a comic, or have one of Bruce’s other kids refer to Bruce as “your father” when talking to Damian, as if that’s not an utterly bizarre and roundabout way for any sibling to refer to their mutual parent and thus I j’ete REFUSE to acknowledge it as valid….ahem, anyway, my point is, every time they do that in a comic, I double down and headcanon Bruce throwing a random as fuck gala for literally no other purpose than to remind all of Gotham that he has half a dozen kids and they’re all better than everyone else’s. Ugh. Kill it. Kill the “blood son” nonsense with fire and lightning and also lots of stabbing maybe).
Anyway, that’s my official stance on DC’s stance on Damian in the books.
Then as far as Cass goes….ugh, her origins were pretty much utterly butchered by the New 52, which IMO has also failed to give us Cass and Bruce bonding and dynamics sufficient to Sate Mine Ire™, sooooooo…..I mean, my perception of the current canon is that Cassandra’s official status is “secret mystery foster child that nobody really knows about,” but because I do not care for that and there’s the whole not sufficiently sated ire thing I mentioned, I officially reject this canon and willfully replace it with pre-Flashpoint Bruce and Cass love and adoption. DC’s welcome to kiss my critically acclaimed hiney if I’m doing it wrong.
Which brings us last, but certainly not least, as its only this way because I go sequentially and Duke is still Shiny and New comparative to the others and will be until the next inevitable fostering/adoption/clone hi-jinks bumps him up the sequential ladder (except I randomly switched Damian and Cass around this time because LOOK I DONT MAKE THE RULES, THERE ARE NO RULES i hvea Adhd hiccup sob leavem e aloooone soooooob)…..
Duke’s official status, much like the rest of the Batkids, can be summed up as Honestly, I Really Don’t Have A Fucking Clue And Am Just Winging This Whole Thing.
I mean, there’s less inconsistency with him, due mostly to the fact that so few writers other than Snyder use him (boo, hiss, and not just because I hate having to give Snyder credit for stuff - look, I love his Duke, but I loathe how he writes Dami, its a thing, I just…don’t get me started). But what inconsistencies there are….well….they’re a bit glaring.
Basically one major storyline showed Duke as being an official foster kid/ward of Bruce’s and living out of the Manor with Bruce and Damian and occasionally Tim when he’s not off road-tripping around the multiverse….and then Batman and the Signal had Duke in the care of his uncle, who was stated to be his legal guardian and Duke was constantly sneaking out in order to meet Bruce in the special Signal-cave he built specifically for Duke to operate out of so he didn’t have to like, drive all the way out to the Manor to change just so he could then drive back into the city and patrol. And then Batman and the Outsiders just said fuck all that, here’s Duke and Cass hopping hemispheres with the Outsiders every other issue, so apparently nobody’s making unscheduled visits anywhere back in Gotham to make sure these two are where they’re legally assumed to be, which again, for the record is…..*error, source not found*
LOLOL and the really fun thing about this little back and forth is I’m pretty sure allllll these conflicting takes are all the work of the same writer. Like. GET ON YOUR OWN PAGE, DUDE.
Also, again I have to assume the “Can’t Be Bothered To Give A Shit, Or Maybe They’re All Just Really Bad At Logic” curse has struck again, because….uhhhh…..
….at no point anywhere in Duke’s stories have I seen Bruce or literally anyone else express concern about the fact that Duke living with Bruce as his official foster, like he definitely and clearly was at some point at least…..means that literally every single one of his We Are Robin friends who knows that he was taken in by the Batfam (and there’s several of them who know this)….like, by the transcendent properties of You Can’t Honestly Think They’re That Dumb, that’s a good five or six civilians out there who probably took all of five seconds to play connect the dots and figure out the Wayne family, having officially taken Duke in on paper…..is pretty likely the Batfamily.
I mean, I like all of Duke’s friends and would definitely headcanon/write them as all being trustworthy and able to keep this knowledge to themselves for Duke’s sake, if nothing else, but I mean, its pretty unprecedented for Bruce to out himself and all of his kids/allies by extension, to like, that many civilian teenagers all in one swoop….
…sooooooo, you’d think, AGAIN, logically, maybe, perhaps, this is the kind of thing that should be brought up in a narrative somewhere as a plot point worth delving into, y’know, just for shits and giggles and maybe a little bit of that whatchamacallit - oh right, character development, but.
Cut to DC: Naaaaaaah.
 *throws up hands and does the I Can’t Even Shuffle all the way home*
In conclusion:
DC is a mess. The official/public status of each and every Batkid is a mess. Except for Damian, the blood son, but we have that pencilled in on the schedule to be killed with fire and also stabbing, so he can get filed under ‘just a fucking mess’ with the rest of his siblings. Hashtag Solidarity.
I mean, I say just write or headcanon their official status however you damn well please, and it’ll STILL be more effort than I believe DC has put into organizing and staying consistent with all of this, and thus STILL make more sense than what we currently have to work with.
*Shrugs* If they don’t care enough to provide a clear canon blueprint to follow when mapping the Bat Family Tree, I can’t be bothered to care if the one I make up myself happens to contradict one single mention of one kid’s official status as claimed by one issue of one book.
Especially if it was written by Lobdell.
Jason’s just a foster son my ass. grumble mumble bitter vengeful swears and a pox on all DC’s houses. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HATE ADOPTION SO MUCH, INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW AND ALSO FUCK YOU.
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fairycosmos · 5 years ago
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does being good at math mean you are smart? sometimes i think im smart because of that but other times i think i am a complete moron. I don’t know what to believe. I cannot trust my own mind. how is what i think valid or credible in any shape or form. this just gives me so much anxiety, that i cannot even trust that my own thoughts are objective enough, i just have to accept that they are even when i know i will never be certain of the truth. what is your take on this?
hey bro i think……there are a million different ways to be smart, for real. and i know we’re raised in an educational system that has ruined learning by imposing grades and inducing anxiety to stress young ppl into producing the ‘results’ they need, but i’d suggest trying to take a step back from those toxic/unnecessary  ideas when possible….. being good at maths is great, as it shows a strong capability to problem solve and compartmentalize. but it’d be ok if you weren’t. it wouldn’t mean anything about who you are. look, there’s emotional intelligence, creative intelligence, existential intelligence, interpersonal intelligence…..and so much more beyond that. to me, this sounds like an issue with your confidence and your self perception more than anything else. it seems like you don’t think you deserve to be listened to unless you’re 100% right about everything, which isn’t possible for anyone. like i said before, this anxiety is ingrained into us from a young age, but i think it’d be more effective to try and tackle that, rather than trying not to fuck up 24/7 and berating yourself when you do :( because that just leads to a cycle of self hatred and emotional turmoil. you really deserve better than that, dont you think? ik this is a stressful idea, but i’d really recommend talking to a counselor or a professional about this if it’s having an impact on your mental well being.  maybe someone at school, or your doctor/parents could refer you to a service in your community? you need to learn how to let yourself be, how to identify self hating thoughts that are only there because you’ve been taught for so long that these are the standards you must meet. once you start challenging them, and implementing healthy coping mechanisms to deal with the anxiety when you feel like you’ve made a mistake, then you’ll notice a massive difference…..just takes time and concentrated effort. i get that it’s a lot to think about, but please dont write it off completely. it’s alright to talk about this sort of thing, and biting the bullet and going for it is the scariest part. you’re not alone. look, you’re a human, so of course you’re going to act like one. i think most ppl have moments where they think they’re the dumbest person on the planet, especially when we’re young. it’s humbling, it’s how we grow and learn right from wrong. if you thought you were smart all the time, your ignorance would probably prevent you from actually being so. if you think you’re dumb all the time, your sensitivity and inaccurate self judgement is probably warping your reality a little. the majority fall somewhere in the middle, in my experience. also, sure there’s an objective truth, but it will always be slightly marred by your own perception when it comes to your own life, it’s like that for everyone. we don’t all register things in an identical manner, even if we’re looking at the same thing. and that doesn’t mean anyones an idiot, it’s a matter of our individual brains working uniquely as they should. honestly seems like reality is a lot less defined than we’re led to believe. so it’s a GOOD thing to question what you think you know bc that means you’re open to learning more and changing your view point as you gather new info, which is to me a sign that you’re hungry for knowledge. you dont have to be certain of anything, really. you just have to try your best. if you fall flat on your face, you will survive it. you will get up knowing better. but anyway above all, i think it’s important to know that your existence and worth as human being truly doesn’t hinge on whether or not you can prove yourself through being the smartest person in the room. i understand striving for a certain academic caliber, and to an extent it’s not an unhealthy goal, but imo it’s better to prioritize being the best type of person you can be. there are likely so many wonderful attributes about yourself that you don’t even see because you’re so stressed abt what you’re bringing to the table on an intellectual level. but the ppl that love you and the ppl that will love you in the future don’t see that alone when they look at you, you know? goddd this got long sorry, but i understand being insecure abt this sort of issue. it occupies a lot of my mind, too. and i’m shit at maths lmfao! but yeah dude, you’re not what you think you are and you don’t have to be so afraid. it may take months or years to really learn or internalize that, and that’s alright. getting to a place where you’re comfortable in your own skin is a long process for most. but you’re on the right path if you’re trying every day to be a bit more gentle with yourself, even when you feel dumb. if you want to talk more abt this i’ll be here, but until then please take care and feel free to put down this weight you’re carrying, even just sometimes, even just to rest.
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