#i would never post anything a day late

[ashysnaps]

happy miku day!!!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

This isn't what it looks like.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

[smile-files]

i continue to find ii3 baffling. why did they make it (this isn't to hate on the season, i'm genuinely curious)

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

across the world (in sixteen hours or less)

you know how you know nothing's gonna be okay again?

you lose your page again and again

you can't find your shoes

you pick up the phone even though you know you should stop

the happiest thing you can find is in a sad movie

and nothing changes

it's not English homework poetry where everything has to rhyme

you've got room now and it doesn't change a thing

your whole world is still your bedroom and some rock CDs

just like it was when you were five and ten and sixteen

there's no relief in the weather

because your weather's all the way across the world

(your brother's all the way across the world)

the rain is all the way across the world

the mountains you grew up with are outside your reach

the fog is still on that beach full of rocks

you still feel trapped

and you're never gonna see them again

xoxo.

[megroha]

.

[running-in-the-dark]

a short list of 'fun' things my mother has done, for the next time I forget what she's really like

the one time she was supposed to pick me up from a friend's house (less than 20 minutes away), my friend and I were a little late getting back to her place because our train was late. I would've been 13 or 14, and I couldn't call my mother because neither of us had money/credit on our phones. when we arrived at my friend's house, her parents told me that my mother had been there and waited a few minutes, but then said she had a toothache so she left. we were maybe 20 minutes late. it was a Friday but we had school every second Saturday, so it was a school night.

I was supposed to go to her friend's wedding with her when I was 11 or 12. she was supposed to pick me up at my dad's place where I lived, and I was alone, so I walked our dog before she was supposed to be there. I was in a hurry, so I forgot my keys, but I thought it was fine because she was supposed to be there any minute. she showed up three hours later. it was winter, there was snow. I think I eventually broke a small part of a window at the back of the house so I could get in because I got really worried about my dog - that was right before she showed up though, so we'd been outside in the snow for hours and it was already getting dark by that point.

her, my brother and I were on the way to a dentist appointment, I think I was maybe 13. she stopped somewhere to run an errand. my brother got out of the car and kept shaking the car really hard the entire time she was gone. he didn't stop when I asked him to and eventually I got upset. when she came back, I told her what he had done and that he wouldn't stop. she told me to be quiet and stop being difficult, I was upset and said that's not fair, she slapped me in the face. my lip was bleeding. we were driving through the village where my dad and I lived, but she refused to stop the car and let me get out. I refused to go to the appointment because my lip and shirt were bloody.

didn't take me to a doctor when I fell on my head and most likely had a concussion

didn't take me to a doctor when I twisted and probably sprained my ankle falling down some stairs and couldn't walk for over a week

once pretended she left me and my brother behind in a small town because we were walking too slowly (we were maybe 3-5 years old) and actually got in the car and drove off (she came back after a few minutes but it still terrified me)

yelled at me when I didn't immediately understand how to knit when she tried to teach me (I was about 6)

made me copy 4 pages of text into the about me section of my friendship/poetry book (that you let your friends write stuff in) because what I wrote wasn't good enough

explained to me that I didn't need to be scared of airplanes because of crashes because those are rare - no, I should be scared of them being kidnapped by terrorists instead (I was 4 or 5)

immediately after that: explained what prostitution is and that it's important so that men don't rape women and children (again, I was like FIVE. the news were on the radio and I didn't know what the word meant so I asked.)

one time my art teacher told her at a parents evening that she (my mother) was just jealous of me because I was young and so different from her and that's why she treated me that way and didn't like me. she thought that was hilarious and immediately told me about it when she came home. she just found it sooo funny and ridiculous. I'm still not sure if she made it up, but tbh both options (it really happened or she made it up) would be weird as hell.

[medicinemane]

Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy

You have... very very very very very very very very smart people you know, and they're say something that not only isn't true, but literally is as opposite of the truth as it's possible to be... and you'll... gently inform them "hey, it's actually a bit more like this" and then they just kinda... go on saying literally the exact same thing

I'm not sure if it's just that... I often feel like I must be very bad at communicating, or people must just not notice/ignore a lot of what I say, but... I don't know

Like dearest friend, you've said something as absurd as... I don't know, it's hard to say without saying it, but honest to god about as absurd as saying the United States was a part of the USSR, that level of completely getting it backwards

...and it just doesn't seem to matter when I try to explain it... I legit don't even know if you read what I said

Really end up feeling like I'm going nuts sometimes

[eggmeralda]

that period of time between south park post covid being announced in 2021 to summer 2022 when everyone got obsessed with truffula flu was moderately heavenly

[bosspigeon]

what was the relationship between gortash and your durges pre-lobotomy? how do they feel when they meet him again?

:3 soooo originally i thought it would be REALLY funny if Gortash was shooting his shot so hard but Maw (pre-lobo Moss~) was just So Autistic he just didn't get it

but then i realized i could go deeper and much more painful :3c

i stand by Moss being a Big Ol' Virgin before Astarion, bc i, personally, think that makes for a very fun(ny) dynamic and also fits in with the character i've already established for Maw, and that was that he was so single-mindedly focused on his duty to Bhaal and his destiny that he didn't really bother with seeking out any sort of bond with anyone, much less enough for him to start feeling sexual attraction towards them. his duty was Murder and he was very, very, very good at it, and that came from a lifetime of dedication

but i think, meeting Gortash, someone he saw as more of an equal than even Orin (who he saw as his lesser by virtue of him being made by Bhaal from his own flesh and her being a second-generation spawn from a first-generation spawn that he still considered imperfect as well as misguided wrt his ideas about Blood Purity) and eventually befriending him over their shared passions and dedication to their respective patron gods, opening him up to actually making his own adult bond with someone else for the first time in his entire life

his relationship with Gortash started as a business deal and eventually turned into companionship and his first genuine friendship. and from there, feelings began to emerge on both sides, but seeing as Maw had a lot of practice shoving down any Softer Feelings he may have had (and an adolescence of Firm Guidance into perfection overseen by Sceleritas, who served Bhaal first and foremost) so before Orin betrayed him, they never got further than a very heavy, very dangerous Almost.

[izzy-b-hands]

My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.

[rosicheeks]

Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..

I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.

I was texting my sister today about it and she said

“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”

I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences

[sysig]

Thank you for voting! ♥ I’ll make the follow-up post in the next few days :)

[bloodyarson]

visit my new tag #ellis's adventures in late capitalism customer service and predatory business practices for highly entertaining accounts of my experiences dealing with any kind of company's or government's wonderful treatment of their obviously very strongly valued customers and their very astronomically high quality offered services

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I start a new job in a couple weeks that will require me to wake up at 6:30am. Am I preparing for that? Am I steadily going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier so that this transition is smooth?

It's 2:15am and I didn't sleep sooner because I was cross stitching and watching Dimension 20. I'll let you guess how well the preparing is going.

[grotius]

oooo i love when you read/watch/play something and wake up sick with emotion the next morning