#the more he began to want

[bosspigeon]

what was the relationship between gortash and your durges pre-lobotomy? how do they feel when they meet him again?

:3 soooo originally i thought it would be REALLY funny if Gortash was shooting his shot so hard but Maw (pre-lobo Moss~) was just So Autistic he just didn't get it

but then i realized i could go deeper and much more painful :3c

i stand by Moss being a Big Ol' Virgin before Astarion, bc i, personally, think that makes for a very fun(ny) dynamic and also fits in with the character i've already established for Maw, and that was that he was so single-mindedly focused on his duty to Bhaal and his destiny that he didn't really bother with seeking out any sort of bond with anyone, much less enough for him to start feeling sexual attraction towards them. his duty was Murder and he was very, very, very good at it, and that came from a lifetime of dedication

but i think, meeting Gortash, someone he saw as more of an equal than even Orin (who he saw as his lesser by virtue of him being made by Bhaal from his own flesh and her being a second-generation spawn from a first-generation spawn that he still considered imperfect as well as misguided wrt his ideas about Blood Purity) and eventually befriending him over their shared passions and dedication to their respective patron gods, opening him up to actually making his own adult bond with someone else for the first time in his entire life

his relationship with Gortash started as a business deal and eventually turned into companionship and his first genuine friendship. and from there, feelings began to emerge on both sides, but seeing as Maw had a lot of practice shoving down any Softer Feelings he may have had (and an adolescence of Firm Guidance into perfection overseen by Sceleritas, who served Bhaal first and foremost) so before Orin betrayed him, they never got further than a very heavy, very dangerous Almost.

[warpfactor9]

you're trying to tell me Data doesn't have feelings EVEN AFTER The Defector (TNG: 3x10) where he watched a Romulan asylum seeker stare yearningly out of a viewing window on the Enterprise and say, "I thought it would bring me some comfort. But these are not my stars. Even the heavens are denied to me here." and then in response immediately programmed the holodeck to bring Romulus and its own sky full of stars back to this stranger to make him feel at home even just for a moment. that guy. the guy who does THAT has no feelings?

[bitemarx]

her and duck newton.. chosen ones who stare down fate like a barrel to the head and chose to walk away. literally so interesting 2 me

anyway. hero oak #1 mami tomoe defender.

[beanmaster-pika]

I bet when Silver was very small he just called Malleus by name but eventually someone told him that they’re supposed to address him with a title and he stopped and Malleus, whose whole thing is that his status and strength have prevented him from forming meaningful attachments with most people and he feels isolated because of it, went home and didn’t come out of his room for three days.

[isthe-protag-cluelesstho]

Okay, probably not a hot take, but imma scribble about it anyway,

I honestly think Cale Hetinuse/Kim Rok Soo has chronic pain/fatigue.

Like, everybody loves the whole coughing up blood/wet meow meow thing he's always doing, but personally? People who are that nonchalant about Shit Happening To Their Body, are typically people who are waaaaay too used to Fucked Up Shit Happening To Their Body,

It's just a head canon, but as someone who is chronically in pain, I absolutely do some of the stupid shit CH/KRS does, like carrying stuff I should NOT be carrying, or continuing to Do Things even when I should be sitting and resting. I also know several people who (like me) can be experiencing level 4-5 pain and not show a hint on their face/through their actions besides maaaaybe moving a bit slower/stretching more

And we know KRS has been on his own since he was itty bitty... And then he grew up in a world hell bent on killing everyone. I can't help but think that a tiny child with no one to help him with the general cuts/bruises/little hurts of childhood would 1) have zero frame of reference for what "okay" actually looks like 2) probably has never really received medical care beyond emergency assistance (which does jack for chronic conditions) and 3) has NEVER really had someone in his life long enough for them to catch his way of coping with pain (my very close friends can hear when I'm hurting/tired, everyone else only notices if I am visibly incapacitated)

So, Kim Rok Soo ends up in a world/body that "technically" hasn't experienced his life, HOWEVER fibromyalgia and PTSD are like goddamn pb&j. It's a condition that is deeply tied to a body's stress response. And what does Cale say once he has the Heart? "I feel BETTER"

And that just speaks to me of a person who is so used to pain, that it no longer really registers... I had daily headaches for 7 years, it wasn't until I moved and got a new primary that I found out that more than 4 headaches in a month was considered a concern... I got on some migraine meds and actually stopped having that daily headache, something id just accepted as "how my body works" gone,

I personally don't consider pain at a 1-2 as particularly bothersome, it's more like a general annoyance. Onces it's up to 6-7 it's hard for me to move, and yet I often will still do so, despite the pain. It's only at 9-10 so I stop moving entirely and focus on just weathering it. Usually when that happens, I sleep so much after as my body tries to recover.

And when I read Cale, so casually continuing forward, despite the work he takes on himself, after the constant planning and prepping and ass kicking, all I see is a person who has lived so long with his body's suffering that it's just background noise. Yeah, he coughed up some blood, but the pain is back to "normal" so how can he raise a fuss? He killed 3 monsters with a dislocated shoulder that one time, this? This is easy. And despite claiming his body is weak, he refuses to truly accept the help and rest he needs because (like I used to) Cale thinks "this is just how my body works"

Sometimes, I cannot remember how I lived prior to my pain. Sometimes, I cannot imagine a world where I do not spend half the night attempting to force my muscles to relax, so I can actually sleep. I cannot imagine a world where I am able to do everything I want in a day and not collapse at the end. And I see so much of myself in how Cale continues to move despite the weight of the ancient powers, the expectations of the gods and his own personal hopes. He seems like a character doomed to continue walking, his bones broken but refusing the care because whats the point if everything still hurts the same way in the end?

Anyway, Raon should invent a cure for chronic illness and force Cale into a year long sabbatical

[ragsy]

Marcus Andrew Stevens, AKA Mark, AKA Dogmark Mandog | he/him | somewhere between 27-32 years old

Perpetually going through it, hanging on by a goddamn thread at all possible moments

Generally very polite and soft spoken, but prone to fits of rage when overwhelmed

Has only been a dogman for a few years and is still grappling with the change

Not particularly fond of himself, but cares very very much about the wellbeing of others

[lim4lim0n]

Ref and Alt version for the second one:

[beaulesbian]

They may call it a Summer palace, but it’s actually three different structures joined together. The cathedral is at the top. No way in there except from the palace itself. Below that, the whole place is a maze of secret passages, easy to get lost in. And it’s all built atop a sealed temple to the Old Gods.

[evilsartcorner]

[t00muchheart]

Okay but remember when famine told dean that he didn’t crave anything because he was empty ?? And then they just didn’t revisit that ?? Because I just have Thoughts (TM) about it, especially in light of Dean claiming earlier in in the episode that it was because he was full

[leaf-in-a-flower-garden]

Allumos redesign because why not

[thedeadthree]

-`. OCS AS TYPES OF SUFFERING.

TAGGED BY @chuckhansen, @queennymeria, @shellibisshe, @leviiackrman, @nightbloodbix, @lavampira, @marivenah, @faerune, @socially-awkward-skeleton and @corvosattano to take this uquiz for a few dears !! ty ty!!!!!!

TAGGING: @ruinbringer, @griffin-wood, @duskfey, @jendoe, @aponibolinayen, @pinkfey, @unholymilf, @gwynbleidd, @adelaidedrubman, @carlosoliveiraa, @grapecaseschoices, @flyntz, @jackiesarch, @katsigian, @quickhacked, @full---ofstarlight, @avallachs, @risingsh0t, @dameayliins, @starforger, @vanoefucks, @yennas, @bloodofvalyria, @malefiicarum, @ravensgard, @theviridianbunny, @mrdekarios, @shadowglens, @fenharel, @nokstella, @swordcoasts, @leondaltons and you!!

-`. DESPAIR.

The tunnel never had a light. You wish for nothing because you know you'll receive nothing, and your hopes died out long ago. The only thing that keeps you going is the thrill of emptiness you feel when things don't turn out your way. It's bitter. It's proof. Proof that you don't feel this way for nothing.

-`. THE BLACKHOLE.

There's a hole where your heart used to be and nothing is filling that hollow void. You could drown in a world curated for you, and still nothing seems to fit. It eats you alive knowing you're unsure how to satiate the hunger of your soul. It's barely hunger, it's more like a blackhole.

-`. THE TAKER.

Your expectations are ones you can barely meet. You compare yourself to others, but with a hypocritical light. You'll never find what you're looking for if you're laying down half of what you receive. It stings to be given less than expectations you've set, but if they were more reasonable, do you think even then you'd be happy?

-`. YEARNING.

The pain in your chest bubbles knowing that what you want may never be yours. You're lost in a fantasy world, or consumed by what you wish you were or had as opposed to what you do. It's hard to appreciate what's around you when you're appreciating the hope of what could be instead.

-`. THE GIVER.

Your energy depletes as you hand it out to anyone passing by your basket. People walk by and take, but no one ever leaves. You're constantly running on low when people keep asking you to give. You'd give your soul away for free, and then what left do you have of yourself if you can't say no?

-`. LONELINESS.

Your heart feels full of the connection you feel you lack. No matter how many people are around you, strangers or not….someone is missing. You don't know who, what, or if you'll ever find them. You're unsure if there's a person out there who'll really satisfy your life, so really what's the point of continuing to look?

[ccbatman]

actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.

[realbeefman]

for as much as house says “everybody lies” he does. believe patients about their symptoms far more frequently than any irl doctor would

[sodaquail]

I wish that EP 60 could have been extended for like a scene. .Chip and Price could have sat in some grungy ass cluttered office (that Price likes to pretend is fancy) and drink fine wine straight from the bottle. Just like they used to in Skullslice, only it tastes better now. I know quite well that price would have had to drag in there, demanding that at least he gets a TALK before Chip runs off to abandon him and be a pirate again. I want them to snarl and taunt eachother. I want Price to make fun of him and act like an annoying older brother until he gets the slightest bit too angry, until Chip hits the wrong button. Until they both remember why he left. Until Chip's gripping the cold handles of his sword, spitting that he'll "Do that fuckin' chore," and that "you better not follow me" the door closes, and curtains flutter as Chip leaves, again. Maybe Reuben punches a wall, wishing it was Chip's face - maybe if he were faster he could have gotten one in before his brother left again, again - but what's done is done. And Chip is gone, for now, for a few hours until he slips back in through the front door and holds up that eye. I don't think Reuben's big plan - pulling another power play over Chip, extorting him and hurting his loved ones just to soothe the burn that came with Chip escaping and tearing himself away from the "loving" grip, bloody and half-dead - feels so good anymore. And he spends the rest of the night waiting for Chip to come back with his prize, salivating over different ideas where he could finally regain his control. Unable to cope with the fact that Chip has somewhere to go other than him, doesn't have to surrender to be an accomplice, a victim, a tool to extort an ego-boost and reassurance of lasting comfort from.

I would also like to think that in the first few minutes of that talk over a tablecloth and aged wine, Chip tricked himself into thinking it would go half decent. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all, but it only takes a few minutes and a misstep to bring himself back to reality

[mirrorbird]

Unpopular opinion time! I'm not gonna Koolaid-man into your posts and you're welcome to your opinions, cool? Cool.

Belos's ending was exactly what it should've been.

Belos is fascinating, but he's not COMPLICATED. He desperately needed to catch the bad guy, burn the witches, keep the one thing he cared about close to him. He was abandoned because the very thing he swore to destroy WON. He had centuries to change and decided not to every single time.

His rationalizations get more complicated, but that's self-deception. For four hundred years plus, he maintained his single-minded dedication to destroying all the witches, gaining enough power to destroy all the witches, maneuvering himself into position to have enough power to destroy all the witches.

He didn't become pathetic. He's ALWAYS been pathetic. The power fantasy is the mask. Pathetic little petty Philip Wittebane is the most honest vision of him we ever see.

And ultimately, it ain't about him. To HIM it is. He has chronic main character syndrome. Of course he'd want us to really explore his psyche and see things from his perspective and understand the forces that pushed him into becoming what he was and doing what he did. Of course he'd want to blame "the curse."

But it was him all along. He could've changed and didn't.

And he deserved to get stomped into the dirt about it.

Thank you.