#he never wanted for anything beyond what he was made for

[01zfan]

contact pt. 2

ex!shotaro x ex!reader | 10.6k words

the part two literally two people asked for. i can't help that i can't get shotaro out of my mind especially THIS shotaro.

contains: breaking up, exes with benefits, miscommunication, mushy gushy stuff, and comfort from not busy diners and soup-and-sandwich specials

contact: part 1 | part 2

You didn’t meet Shotaro on purpose. 

You met him on an impromptu journey of self discovery that lead you to the diner off campus. You thought you’d devise a plan to become a person that put themselves out there in the comfort of the place you went to nearly every day. Craft yourself a new personality over the best soup-and-sandwich lunch special the town had to offer, one of the few places that was so uninhabited you often got the entire place to yourself. 

The closest thing you had to a friend was Giselle, the part time server that had mainly night classes. Your opposing schedules made it so you could never really hang out, but you admittedly preferred it that way. You two had an unspoken acknowledgement of the fact that your lives were total opposites. On Giselle’s Instagram you found out that she was involved in nightlife and other things beyond your single dorm. On your Instagram she found out you were never going to go to a party even if you seemed to really consider an invitation. 

You liked the relationship you had with her currently, small doses of you in the form of sitting at your table between stretches of dead periods in the diner or when she was on break. That was probably the manifestation of another problem you had, but that was neither here nor there. What mattered was that you had uncharacteristically built such a rapport with someone to the point that they knew your name, what spot in the diner you liked, and what you were going to order. 

Giselle brought you your food and sat across from you in the booth seat. She messed with the end of her high ponytail. Being friends with Giselle was easy. She didn’t hide anything, you didn’t know if she even knew how to. When you started at her blonde roots down to the cotton candy pink hair carding through her fingers you wanted to ask if it was damaged. When she sighed heavily you knew something was wrong. A perfect opening for conversation, so you didn’t have to force her to sit in silence with you.

“Long day?” You asked.

“Long week.” She answered.

“It’s only Tuesday.” You said.

“Tell me about it.” Giselle sighed again, putting her head in one hand as her other continued messing with her hair. You turned your plate towards her, offering the other half of your cranberry chicken sandwich. Giselle reached forward and dug her fingernails into one half to tear it into two pieces. She took the smaller portion. “I can’t wait for this week to be over.”

You nodded your head knowingly. If anyone had the right to be tired, it was Giselle. Between her involvement on campus, her work schedule, and her nightlife you didn’t know how she did it all. 

“When are you off work?” You asked.

“In like twenty minutes. But,” Giselle brought her hands to her eyes and rubbed them profusely. “Shotaro is coming so we can talk about. Something.” She said.

Giselle had the habit of thinking you knew the same people she did. More often than not she would mention someone’s name in passing, each time you would have to remind your friend you very much did not know who the person was. So when Giselle mentioned Shotaro, the one who was in her financial analyst class, you still shook your head.

“I’ve never met him.” You said.

Before Giselle could tell you an unimportant fact as if that would jog your memory, the tiny bell above the front door went off. Giselle turned around before you could peer over her shoulder to see who came in. She checked her watch, turning the loose band on her wrist so she could see the time.

“You’re early.” She chided.

“Had to get here before you left like last time.” He said.

Shotaro’s hand went to Giselle’s shoulder and squeezed it affectionately. You didn’t even get a chance to assume that they were together before he was already looking to you with curiosity. You don’t know why it made the hairs on the back of your neck raise, but you’d come to find out that being at the receiving end of Shotaro’s attention would always make you feel that way.

You didn’t meet Shotaro on purpose. 

Giselle always made sure to emphasize that when she told the story of how she brought you two together. She became your self-appointed love guru and wing woman when she told Shotaro about you like you weren’t sitting right in front of them. She patted herself on the back for keeping the conversation going when you would get nervous and stop talking. She always bragged about how she was able to set up a date between her two friends right before the dinner rush at her work.

Because you met Shotaro through Giselle, and you met in the diner you always came to, he became the de facto third person in previous duo with Giselle. Purely on technicality, and it made sense because the two ran in the same massive social circle, and the diner was one of the few places you ventured to in your small bubble. So more than Giselle saw Shotaro through mutual friends and school mixers and non-school parties she saw him with you, shoulders touching as he whispered playfully in your ear or leaned over to show you something on his phone. 

Seeing you two together was such a common occurrence that when you showed up to the diner without him in tow, she knew something was off. When you stayed focused on your food instead of looking up at her, Giselle tried her best to be neutral.

“Where’s Shotaro?” With her eyebrows raised she leaned down to try and get you at eye level with her. “Haven’t seen him in awhile.” She said.

Her hesitancy made you think she already knew the answer. Still you focused on your food and not her, looking directly at your caprese sandwich.

“We broke up.” You answered simply.

Giselle’s eyes went wide. You were so silent it was almost overshadowed by the rest of the chatter in the diner, and you provided no other explanation. You just continued to eat your food, looking at the your plate instead of your worried friend.

“Woah.” When you only nodded in acknowledgment you felt the overwhelming concern come from your friend as she simultaneously tried to mask it. You cleared your throat and pushed your food around your plate as Giselle sputtered in front of you. “What happened? Are you okay?” She asked.

Only then were you able to look up from your food. You looked right past her to watch a couple walk by your booth to be seated. You nodded, turning your focus to the bell above the front entrance past Giselle.

“I am.” You answered. 

When you had nothing else to stare at, you went back to your plate. You messed with the edge, feeling the need to prove yourself more than the need to eat.

“I broke up with him. In case you didn’t know.” You added.

You could argue that Giselle’s shocked reaction was part of the reason you called it off.

“What happened? I thought everything was going well between you guys.” She said.

There were no secrets you were keeping from her about your relationship with Shotaro, if anything you were keeping how good you had it hidden away. There was no one else in your life that was so willing to put their lifestyle on hold for you. No one who wanted to give up their weekends outside to be inside up with you, no one that was as patient or caring or warm and gentle. No one was considerate of your heart to never break it, even if you were ill-matched.

But there was the overwhelming burden that started becoming unbearable when you realized you were pulling Shotaro further and further away from his life. You had no right to keep him inside, to stop him from enjoying his youth. 

You didn’t even know that it was weighing on you so heavily until you dropped the bombshell. Randomly on a Friday night, right when Netflix asked if you were still watching and Shotaro’s phone lit up with another message from his friend asking where he was at.

“I think we should break up.” You said casually.

“Sure babe.” You could feel Shotaro’s chest vibrate against your back as he silenced his phone. 

When you didn’t reply and when you didn’t press Yes, I’m still watching his demeanor completely changed. He froze behind you, peering over your shoulder to try and get a good look at your face.

“Wait, you’re serious?” He asked.

When you still didn’t respond Shotaro got up from his spot behind you completely. You both sat up your feet dangling over the edge of the sofa as he looked at you confused. Too many times you felt like you were trying to play catch up with Shotaro. You had to constantly learn his new friends names and the birthdays and the hangouts and the parties and the cool restaurants you had no idea about. You felt sick satisfaction seeing him try to catch up to you for once. 

When your words finally settled and Netflix went back to the homepage he let out a slow breath.

“Can I ask why?” 

You felt yourself grasping at straws as you tried to find the reason. He was with you on a Friday night instead of going out to the party his friends spent a week telling him about. They were still holding out hope, not knowing that the thing indirectly keeping him in was you. You couldn’t bring yourself to answer him, that you were somehow yearning for something you couldn’t explain when you were doing fine on your own for so long. You only shook your head and repeated the sentiment.

“I just think we should break up.”

“I want to know why.” Shotaro pinched the bridge of his nose. He was always so patient with you. 

Not having an answer made everything worse. Walking out without saying a word was arguably even worse. You did both while Shotaro followed you around his apartment, trying to get you to talk to him.

Even the morning after the funeral you didn’t have an answer. Your body woke up in Shotaro’s bed before your mind did, surging yourself forward like you were in a nightmare. 

For a moment you panicked, blindly reaching for your phone that wasn’t there as you took in your environment. When you saw the familiar curtains and relief sunk in. But then when you really realized where you were, you panicked again.

“Good morning.”

Shotaro’s shirt was on your body, you were on his bed underneath the comforter he bought because he knew you always ran cold. He spoke to you slowly, looking at you from his desk. He eyed you from his office chair like you were unpredictable. He must’ve been right in some way, because being underneath his gaze made you want to bolt out his apartment through the window and lunge at him from your spot across the room. You tried to feign calmness, stretching like you didn’t just wake yourself up violently from your sleep. You rubbed your eyes and forced a yawn, trying hard to not look Shotaro in the face.

He picked at the bottom of his shirt, the one you were wearing last night before everything transpired between the two of you.

“Should we talk about last night?” He asked.

The way he asked it told you he already knew your answer. You still shook your head, looking down at the indent you were making on his mattress.

“Probably not.” You said quietly.

“Are you going to stay for breakfast?” He asked.

Same helpless infliction in his voice when he asked the first question. You shook your head the same, eyes on your pile of clothes neatly folded next to him.

“Probably not.” You repeated.

Shotaro nodded slowly. He knew you entirely too well. He turned away from you in his chair to face the dimly lit screen of his laptop. He started writing in his journal and typing, while you brought your legs closer and closer to your body. His room seemed a little colder, the floor was freezing underneath your feet when you slid off his bed. You padded around his room heel to toe, like you were trying your hardest to not make your presence known. But Shotaro always noticed, he always looked out for you in a way that made you panic. That’s why instead of continuing to ignore you for your sake he stopped typing on his computer when you reached forward to grab your neatly folded dress. 

“You can borrow my clothes.” Shotaro said.

You nodded silently before fully grabbing your dress. You didn’t know if Shotaro wasn’t looking at you as some sort of punishment for you avoiding to look at him but you admittedly felt grateful. The way he didn’t follow you through the space made it that much easier to leave without looking back.

There was three days of radio silence before either of you reached out. 

You fully intended to wait for Shotaro to tell you to bring back his clothes, or wait for a time in your schedule during the day to return his belongings. But after you called your mother and she guilt tripped you for leaving the wake without introducing Shotaro to all of your extended family you felt shitty. Then you went and bombed your exam that you were too emotionally drained to study for. Then it got unbelievably gloomy after your last class when you forgot your keys to your dorm. You sat in the lobby of your building, waiting for RA to come back from dinner so you could actually access your room. You felt that same sinking feeling you did outside of your mother’s house when you called Shotaro that night. You felt the same sense of overwhelming wrong that you just needed something to go right, or to completely top off the terrible day you were having by being rejected by him. 

You sat in the vinyl chair as you thought about your options. You leaned back in the seat and replayed the awful day you had. Your mother calling you rude for leaving the wake early. Your teacher recommending you to come by for tutoring. Realizing when you turned your locked door that your key was waiting on the other side. Your day made you reckless, you nearly slammed your fingers on the glass screen of your phone as you typed in Shotaro’s memorized number.

hey

can i come over?

it’s ok if you say no.

You waited in the lobby of your building, watching people come in and out. You envied those who had their keys ready to go in their hands, and the ones that seemed to have their lives together.

taro: what are you coming over here to do?

nothing

only going to stay an hour

taro: doors unlocked.

When you went over to Shotaro’s house a second time, there was less talking. Once you came through his door, Shotaro quickly filled in the unsaid gaps of your impromptu visit.

You take partial blame for the way you framed your text. Telling Shotaro you were staying only an hour made it seem like your visit was a hookup, squeezed into your very busy schedule. You didn’t get the chance to tell him you were waiting for your RA to unlock your door as you two stumbled through his apartment. 

Shotaro had his hands on your face as you blindly navigated the space, his lips on yours were bruising and almost rough as your legs hit the back of his couch. When you almost fell he pulled you tightly against his body, pulling a gasp from your already depleted lungs. You breathed hot air into his mouth, and drew the breath he was trying to take in through your nose. Still no words were said as you trusted him to guide you completely, your only job was to impatiently push open the door to his bedroom when he pressed you against it.

Instead of kissing you down to his bed gently like he had done all those times before, Shotaro turned you around. Before you could catch your breath he bent you over, the side of your face pressing into his mattress while your feet were still planted on the ground. The new position and Shotaro’s strength made you croak out a choked gasp.

Before you broke his heart, he was never like this with you. He never went straight to devouring you like he was now. He never put a strong hand on the back of your head, pressing it further into the mattress as his other hand felt you up. With widened eyes you tried looking behind you, but anytime your head moved out of place Shotaro would push it slightly harder into the mattress.

“Is this okay?” He applied the lightest of pressure behind his hand again and you drew in a breath. Your fingers started helplessly messing with the stitching of his bed. Shotaro’s hand that wasn’t palming on the back of your head grabbed your ass. “Is this okay?” He repeated.

Something about speaking seemed entirely too much. The small sounds you made during sex was always an indication to Shotaro that you liked what he was doing, that you wanted him to continue. Like your labored breath and the way you were gripping his sheets for dear life wasn't a big enough sign, you nodded your head against Shotaro’s palm and preened your ass backwards. But silence wasn’t enough. You felt Shotaro’s front press to your back, his body temperature making you sweat even more. You writhed underneath him, pressing your back further against his front.

“Use your words.” You could hear the sternness in his voice as his hand left your ass. “Communication is important.”

The second part of his sentence was quieter than the first. It also left something in the air between the two of you, something that had to be cleared by you swallowing your nerves and getting the courage to speak.

“Yes,” You breathed out. “It’s okay.”

Your dynamic in bed changed that night. Shotaro was no longer the sweet doting boyfriend but the energetic fuck buddy that was seemingly on a mission to bring you to tears. With a hand on the back of your head and his handprint swelling on your ass he kept you there for what seemed like an eternity. No sweet coos, no kisses on the lips. What was supposed to be an hour stretched to four as Shotaro bit your shoulder and grunted into your ear, asking you over and over again if this was why you came over. By the end of the night you were saying yes and more until your voice was raw.

You convinced yourself that this was another reason why you two had to break up. The way Shotaro fucked you now seemed to be the way he preferred. Throwing you around, pushing your body into positions he wanted. He needed someone to fuck rather than being the gentle and patient one throughout your relationship. He must’ve been holding back for your sake, and judging by the way he wore condoms and was constantly trying new things on you, you assumed other girls around campus were getting the same treatment. You convinced yourself that he wanted to try new things on you so he was ready for the countless girls that were probably waiting for him to be on the market again.

You forced yourself to be indifferent. When he would fuck you on the couch like you were just some hookup instead of carrying you to bed, you convinced yourself that it was just sex, and sex could be had anywhere. Anytime jealousy tried to consume you at the thought of Shotaro being with other girls, you told yourself that he didn’t deserve to be tied down by you. You were happy to be his willing guinea pig, even if the thought of him scrolling on Hinge or Tinder made your heart drop. Letting yourself be used was the least you could do after not even giving him an answer as to why you two had broken up in the first place.

Shotaro became accustomed to your arrangement quickly. After getting the confirmation to his question I’m guessing you want this to be a secret, right? he never asked again. He never asked if you were going on dates (you knew he already knew the answer) or if you were going out for the weekend (once again, you knew he knew the answer). You didn't ask him if he was seeing other people (you didn't want to know the answer) or if he started going out on the weekends again (you hoped the answer was yes, but you hadn't seen him on any of Giselle's Instagram stories and you two seemed to meet up on Friday and Saturday nights more than any other day of the week).

Outside of the space in his apartment you two were still broken up. Giselle was able to successfully drag you to Anton and Sungchan's place for the monthly movie night after telling you how much everyone missed you. On the big gray sofa you found yourself in the middle of tension. Quiet glances towards you and Giselle who was desperately trying to distract you from the quiet glances and the silence that surrounded Shotaro. You knew that your place in the friend group was linked to Shotaro, and your relationship was hailed as the one that was going to make it. There was a tension that came with everyone choosing their side in the "divorce" (Giselle on your side and everyone else on Shotaro's. Once again, you don't fault anyone, and you denied any well wishes or condolences people sent to your inbox).

Just when the nerves were were becoming too much and Giselle left the sofa to go to the bathroom, Shotaro came up to you. He sat next to you on the large sofa, leaving just enough room for one person to fit in between the two of you. He smiled at you and you smiled back. How was he not thinking about the position he had you in hours prior? How was he not showing any signs of mental distress when you felt like you were about to explode?

“How are things?” He asked, just loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. He wasn’t being coy, Shotaro was genuine as he kept space between the two of you. You had to dig your nails into your thigh to stop you from closing the distance. Being here was cruel really. Putting yourself in this position was self-torture. You could feel everyone staring at you, the rest of the noise in the apartment fizzled away as everyone continued staring at you two.

“They’re great. Things are great.”

Shotaro smiled and settled into the couch, then as if on cue everyone else started flocking to the living room. People got comfortable on the floor and the sofa. Shotaro made extra room for Sungchan to fill the space between the two of you, and Giselle sat on the other side of you.

You would’ve loved to watch the movie the same as everyone else. When Shotaro’s friends would laugh along to the dialogue, or whisper before being obnoxiously shushed you were too busy staring at Shotaro. The changing scenes of the movie made him too visible to you, He was lit perfectly, and the darkness in the room provided you with just enough coverage to take your peaks. 

You spent way too long trying to figure him out. You didn’t know what was happening during the movie or what it was about. You were too busy thinking about all the other movie nights when he’d be stuck to your side like glue, a hand permanently touching your thigh or holding your hand. 

Now he wouldn’t even look at you. He stayed trained on the movie, only looking away to scold someone for talking or to reach forward and grab the snacks on the coffee table. He didn’t look over to you when you would laugh, or when Sungchan would look between the two of you from the sides of his eye. Shotaro didn’t give you anything, even when Sungchan inevitably drifted off to sleep right before the final act. 

No one would’ve noticed if he even looked at you from the corner of his eye. If he just turned his head towards you when he was laughing. From your side of the couch it really did seem like nothing was happening between the two of you. You were going over everything since the funeral. When you ghosted him for three days to show back up under false pretenses. Last week when you showed up in the middle of the night unannounced. Meeting up with him after you went to the diner. You had to make sure you weren’t dreaming. You had to make everything was real, if he just looked at you the way he always used to you’d know this was real. 

But Shotaro didn’t look. He only shifted in his spot on the couch when your fingers dipped underneath the collar of your shirt to run over that splotch of skin by your collarbone that Shotaro sucked raw. He only stretched his arm along the top part of the couch over Sungchan’s slouched body to bring his hand behind your head. 

And you said nothing. You only leaned deeper into the couch as slowly as possible so your head could rest in his hand. You only stayed pressed uncomfortably against the couch so Shotaro’s fingers could massage your scalp. 

After the movie you made sure to leave first. You were thinking about the secret display of affection as you narrowly avoided drinks and a talk about the movie by leaving the same time Giselle did. Shotaro had the same excuse, talking about a shift at work that didn’t exist. After he said he was leaving, everyone else followed suit. If anyone thought it was weird that you two were leaving at the same time, they didn’t let it be known. Shotaro’s friends only bid you a goodnight and safe travels as you scurried out of the apartment while he still gathered his things. 

“You left in such a hurry I thought you actually had something going on tomorrow.” Shotaro said when he opened his door to you.

“It wasn’t a complete lie.” You reason.

Shotaro closes and locks his front door behind you and leans against the door. He gestures towards your overnight bag hanging off your shoulder. You shake your head and bring the strap closer to your body.

“What do you mean?” He asks.

You almost tell Shotaro that you have plans to study in the diner tomorrow. Breaking up with him forced you to bear through your weekly study dates alone. Putting your backpack in the place Shotaro always sat barely helped. You had also heard through the Giselle grapevine that he created his own study group and they occupied the biggest table in the library on Saturdays. You don’t understand how he could bare being around so many people while trying to get work done. But he also used to tell you he couldn’t understand why you liked being alone so much. 

“Nothing.” You said, shaking your head.

He didn’t press it any further. He stopped trying to coerce information out of you a long time ago. If Shotaro tried asking a question he let you avoid it the first time you deflected. He would only lift his shoulders and let them fall, mimicking the nonchalant attitude you tried to exude. 

He made it hard for you to feign indifference when he backed away from his door, giving you just enough space to walk through.

Shotaro started making you lead him through his apartment recently. After he’d walk behind you to turn the deadbolt lock he would just stay there. Shotaro would look at you from behind, and you didn’t dare to look over your shoulder at him. Being still behind you forced you to step further and further into his place unless you wanted to stand in the entryway all night. You took off your shoes and took your first step in, and Shotaro mirrored your step.

The shreds of dominance that Shotaro gave you made everything even more confusing. The suspension of control was supposed to be the appeal and the reason you were here. When life was too stressful or demanding you would come here to give the authority of your life in someone else’s hands. You came here to not worry about anything, but it was hard to keep your brain off when you had to make decisions to actively avoid an awkward atmosphere. Shotaro making you walk into his apartment instead of pulling you in forced you to make a decision with each foot you decided to put in front of the other. 

The responsibility made it feel like you were walking on a tightrope. You didn’t know if the next step would be the wrong one, if he would scold you for walking towards the couch instead of his bedroom. But Shotaro’s silence gave you nothing. You had to make sure each step was confident, even if having the ball in your court made your heart drop. Shotaro didn’t stop you when you walked past the couch in his living room, or when you gently twisted the handle to his bedroom. He let you lead him all the way to his bed, where he looked unsuspecting and you felt like you were going to explode.

“Did you like the movie?” You asked.

Shotaro nodded his head. He gently guided your purse off of your shoulder and set it on his computer chair.

“Did you enjoy it?” He asked.

You truthfully couldn’t remember what the movie was about. Each time you tried to recall what was on the screen your mind only went to Shotaro’s hand inconspicuously massaging your scalp. You had your eyes on him more than you did the movie. Still you nodded your head, trying to find a proper segway to the reason you came here tonight. Shotaro again was no help. He stood next to his bed in front of you. His hands didn’t even cross the space to touch you first. You had to be the one to make the first move again, taking a step forward until you could press the palms of your hand to his shoulders.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

Lately you’ve been thinking about your mom telling you about that shell you were stuck in when she called you after the wake. You came out of your shell in front of the person who knew you best you felt like you regressed to something even worse than before. When you were asked what’s wrong, you used to answer with contention or shrug it away. Now, when Shotaro asked that question and brought his hands to your arms you felt tears prickle your vision. You couldn’t say it even if you could put it into words. You just lightly pushed at his shoulders, until he got the hint and started lowering his body.

Shotaro let you push him down until he sat on the edge of his bed. With you looking down at the crown of his head, it was manageable. The overbearing heat spreading across your body from embarrassment and an incoming cry turned to confidence, for a second you believed you had an upper hand in the situation of what’s wrong. 

You brought your hand to rest on the top of Shotaro’s head, trying to touch him the same way he did in Anton’s apartment. You weren’t caressing him lovingly, you weren’t offering the affection you swore your arrangement was supposed to be void of now. You were simply testing the waters. Running your hands through his hair was foreplay, nothing more, nothing less. When Shotaro preened into your hand the same way you did on the couch, he was simply returning the favor. 

When you felt him beginning to look up, the exhilaration shifted to nerves and before he could even make eye contact with you, you were already going down to your knees. His hands gripped the edge of the bed a little tighter. You hesitated the same time he did before he spread his legs wider. Regardless you kneeled on the hard cold ground, slotting yourself between his legs. 

Instead of touching his head, your hands rested heavy on his thighs. Shotaro spread himself further to give you more room, and you felt the air in the room shift. You continued rubbing your hands up and down his thighs, looking at the bulge in his pants instead of him. Being in this position was already enough torture. You prayed that Shotaro would give you a break this one time, that he would just tend to your silent cues of what you wanted to do. But his hand went from the edge of the bed to your chin, and you felt his fingers apply the smallest amount of force to tilt your head upwards.

Looking up at him had the opposite effect on you. Everything in you shriveled up when he held such intense eye contact.

“Tell me what you want.” He said.

Don’t read too much into it. Don’t acknowledge the somber look in his eyes or the pang in your chest. Just reach forward until your hands touch the belt of his pants.

“Can I—” He refused to let you off easy. He only raised his eyebrows, forcing the rest of your sentence from your dry throat. “I want to suck your dick.” You asked.

You don’t know how Shotaro said yes after the words tumbled so awkwardly from your lips. When your lack of sex appeal made you cringe, it made Shotaro’s hands undo his belt quickly. The buckle knocked against his hand but Shotaro didn't show any sign of pain. He set the belt next to him and you watched his hand go to the button on his pants next. Your hands waited for him to stop doing the work, and you took the time to compose yourself from going over the way you asked to suck his dick a million times. You tried to be in the moment for him, because you spent so much of your actual relationship doing everything but that. You shuffled on your knees, and moved your hands to work his pants the rest of the way when they got to his mid thigh.

While you pulled his pants down the rest of the way, Shotaro started palming himself over his briefs. The same ring you gifted him—the only one he seemed to wear these days—stared at you as he touched himself. You pressed your nails into his thigh, letting out a shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding. He let out a breath too, and you pulled away from the sight to look at his face. Shotaro was already looking at you—but maybe he never looked away to begin with—as his head lulled to the side.

“You see what you still do to me?” He sighed.

If lust wasn’t actively replacing all of your sane thoughts, you would’ve asked Shotaro what he meant by emphasizing the word. You could only swallow a mouth full of spit and nod your head.

“I see it.” You looked back down to his hand. He stopped palming himself to grip it over the fabric of his underwear to really let you see. His dick twitched in his hand when his other cupped your chin. Your nails scraped Shotaro’s waist when they went underneath the elastic of his briefs, and he raised his hips from the bed to let you pull them down.

His dick sprung straight up before you could even get his underwear down to his ankles, and it continued to twitch as he gently pumped himself. Shotaro forced you to take it slow, you matched his pace of fully undressing him as you felt the nerves over your body. Shotaro only took his hands off himself and your face to take off his shirt. 

When his briefs were beside you, your hand reached forward to grab him. He was hard and already wet in your hands. When the nerves became too much Shotaro leaned back slightly on the bed. You stayed focused on his dick as Shotaro adjusted himself on the edge of his bed. Again you felt his fingers scratch against your scalp, but they didn’t push. Just having him touch you made the courage come back. You inched closer and Shotaro poked out his tongue to wet his lips.

“You got it.” He assured.

You nodded to Shotaro again before bringing him closer to your mouth. You licked the underside of his tip first, a flat tongue against him as he sighed above you again. When you took him all the way to the back of your throat Shotaro’s hand tightened, trying to pull your head back. He always did that, trying to always stop you from gagging or getting ahead of yourself. Feeling Shotaro still handle you like you were made of glass made you take him just as deep again. 

“Fuck.” Shotaro whispered. 

Hearing him curse underneath his breath made you feel like you were doing something right. His grip on you loosened and you took him deep again, and when you gagged he didn’t pull you back. He only spread his legs a little further apart and you scooted closer, ignoring the pain in your knees from the hardwood floor. But Shotaro pulling you off of him paled in comparison to his hands clasping over yours that were pressed to his thighs. 

When his thumbs started gently caressing your hands, you needed more. Maybe if he fucked your mouth it’d get rid of the tender feeling in the air. If he fisted your hair instead of moving to cup your cheeks it would be easier. If he told you that he knows you could suck dick better than that instead of cooing at you and telling you everything felt so good you’d be less distracted. Even when you purposefully lose your rhythm and grazed your teeth along a vein his hands didn’t guide you. He only sucked air through his teeth when you gagged again after taking too much.

“Slow down baby.” Shotaro says gently.

His hands cupped your cheek to prevent you from taking him so deep. You don’t even know if your attempts are even bringing him close to the edge, or if this is more for your benefit that his. There had been too many times you looked up to see Shotaro staring at you, more enveloped in you than what you were doing to him. Back then you were satisfied with his focus on you, but now you just wanted his head to lull to the side in bliss. You wanted to hear him curse because of how well you were taking him, and hear his toes crack and feel his thighs shake.

You can’t take it when you take a brave glance upwards to see him looking down at you. His eyes are locked on the same spot his thumb rubs over on your cheeks, then your earlobe that he lightly pinches with his fingers.

“So pretty.” His hand moves to your hair, massaging your scalp the same way he did during the movie. When Shotaro finally catches your eye before you go back down, his hand on your face becomes a little rougher. He doesn’t stop you from taking him to the back of your throat again. “Have you always been this good at sucking dick?”

You nod when you feel his tip heavy on your tongue. Even though it feels like his words are solely for your benefit they play in the back of your head to stop you from gagging and letting more spit dribble from the corner of your lips. Shotaro hums when he sees your resolve, and you blink your watery eyes. 

“All for me, huh?” 

You nod with his dick in your mouth. When you looked up again Shotaro finally had his head tilted back. He let his leg lose it’s bend and found a new angle to slowly thrust into your mouth. You accommodated to him immediately, ducking your head lower to meet his hips. You felt Shotaro’s hand loosen on your head to wipe the drool seeping from the corner of your mouth. He went back to looking at you now, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Even though your pace remained the same, he sounds significantly more lost than before. You hadn’t even gotten to the part where you were supposed to gently rubbing the sensitive inside of his legs to get him even more bothered. But when you nod your head Shotaro moans again, and before you can take keep going he lifts your head off of him. 

You’re still blinking away the tears in your eyes and breaking the line of spit with your tongue when Shotaro starts pulling you up. You can’t stop yourself from pouting at not finishing the job as you were getting the hang of it and he was so visibly close. His dick was red and angry when he pulled you up, slapping against his stomach before going back to being upright. You can’t even tend to him before he brings you up to eye level. You’re still attempting to blink away tears when he grabs you by your chin and pulls you in.

When Shotaro’s soft bitten lips press to yours, you realize how long it’s been. Even though he put such an emphasis on how important communication was in your new arrangement, there was plenty that was left unsaid. No talking about why you broke up, no talking about why you came back, and no kissing. You two came to the silent agreement that kissing made everything too real, it was too intimate for the arrangement you currently had. Pressing your lips to his was too reminiscent of the kisses you shared before you broke up with him. He pressed into you the same way, and tilted his head before letting his tongue push into your mouth. You reacted the same way too, parting your lips and letting your tongue press against his.

You two were like that for awhile. Like no time had passed or like you two were doing it for the first time again. Shotaro worked extra hard in the moments you came to your senses. Feeling him pull you deeper made you forget everything. This wasn’t a bad idea when he pulled you by your waist onto the bed with him, and it wasn’t a bad idea that he was maneuvering your body to be underneath his. 

When Shotaro pulled away you followed after him. Your lips were still parted, your tongue in the same place he left it when your eyes fluttered open again. He was already looking at you, your glossy spit was still smeared across his lips when he smiled at you. You were too busy trying to hide the look of surprise on your face to do anything else. He rubbed his fingers over your expression before you could change it. You were trapped underneath his body and his soft gaze that was so much harder to bare than the hunger he had in his eyes earlier. He looks away from you when he reaches to his nightstand, pulling a condom from the top drawer.

“I don’t know how you still do this to me.” He said quietly.

There’s that still again. It’s persistent, it’s emphasized each time it leaves his lips. Shotaro kisses your lips again before you can ask him about it. He gently pushes your pants down your legs and you quick them off until you hear them hit the floor. You wrap your legs around his waist quickly, falling into the normal operations of the past two months. But instead of Shotaro bringing his hands to restrict both of your wrists he intertwines his fingers with yours.

Your hand hesitates, fingers sticking out straight between his. Shotaro looks at your rigid hand then to your eyes.

“I just need you.” He’s sincere. His voice almost breaks when he pulses his grip on your hand. The way he looks down at you makes you ignore everything else until you’re nodding your head to his request. Shotaro’s lips curl into a smile and his thumb rubs at your cheek. “In the way we used to do it. Please.” He begs like nothing happened between the two of you. You clasp your hand around his like it's another Friday night of you holding him captive in his room instead of letting him enjoy his youth.

“Okay.” You should feel terrible for doing this.

He doesn’t take off his ring to slip it into your mouth. He kisses you again as his hand drags down your body. Shotaro is the one who guides your legs around his waist as he situates himself between. He’s teasing when he rubs his tip across your clit, it causes both of you to moan into eachothers mouths. 

As Shotaro slides in, he holds your hand tight. You feel it being pressed into the mattress beside your head before he slowly rocks into you. Both of you are careful, knowing you’re liable to say something you definitely shouldn’t. But the way he slides back in feels like the first time, and when he goes to your neck to let out a sigh of relief you feel it.

“It’s like no time has passed.” Shotaro’s voice is barely held together, like he’s one step away from moaning directly in your ear. He pulls away from your neck to look at you. You close your eyes fast, but you’ve been in this position enough to know. The scene is painted perfectly in your mind, and you can feel his breath fan your cheek as he continues to talk. “Like that night never happened.” He says.

This isn’t dirty talk. This isn’t him telling you that you’re tight or wet, or that you sound so pretty. You should tell him that this is going to far, but it feels too good. You’re already feeling that knot in the pit of your stomach. The closeness and feeling Shotaro’s heart beat against your chest is making everything feel too intense. 

You’re not ready to rebuff his advances. There were many things you could’ve said back to him in this moment. He was giving you an opportunity to say something back without having to even look at him. With his face buried in the crook of your neck and his hand holding yours tightly to show support, Shotaro was opening the door wide for you. You were silent, he pulled his hips back and pushed back into you until a strained moan fell from your lips.

“Do you miss me?” He continued.

He was desperate. He ground his hips against yours and you could feel him in your stomach. You arched you back off the bed again, nodding pitifully, holding his hand so tight you thought you’d break it.

“I miss you, Taro.” You say immediately.

“Don’t leave this time.” He said.

Before you could say anything else, Shotaro hooked your leg in his arm to open you up more. You were compensating the deeper spot he was hitting by digging your nails into whatever you could. His face pressed into the side of yours made it impossible to focus on anything else but him. He was looking down at you, biting his lip trying to hold on just long enough to hear your response.

You shouldn’t have opened your eyes. You should’ve kept them screwed shut until you came. You could blame everything on being theatrics of getting you to finish, but when you opened your eyes and saw how sincere Shotaro looked, it was impossible. You were the only thing he was looking at, so locked into your facial expressions like this was about you instead of him. There was no use in hiding your moans, or how close you already were to your orgasm. You just held him tight so he’d do the same to you, pushing your hips upwards to meet his movements.

There’s no words. Just the two of you moaning, making the bed creak, and holding on so tight. When you’re already on the verge Shotaro is right there, hanging his head low to whisper into your ear.

“I’m close.” He says.

“Me too.” You say back.

Like you two were still a couple, you came together. Shotaro always said it was romantic, so you made a point after you broke up to always cum before or after him. But this time it wasn’t on purpose and unavoidable when he sped his hips up. You were moaning into his ear and then crying, pulling him closer as your legs wrapped around his waist. Shotaro was rutting into you then he stopped, hand on your waist holding you in place. He grunted like he was really cumming inside of you, holding you in place while he panted in your ear. This was too real, too reminiscent of how it was before you ended things. He even stayed on top of you for a beat, coming back to Earth as he realized the both of you went too far.

Shotaro rolled off of your sweaty body to lay on the bed next to you. You stared at the ceiling as you caught your breath. This was definitely worse than the night of the funeral. Then you could blame it on the fresh emotion of breaking up with your ex and the overwhelming presence of your mother. But having intimate sex after pretending you two were solely here to fuck was worse. Significantly worse when Shotaro couldn’t even find the words to cut through the silence. The two of you just stared at the ceiling, hands that were just holding eachother looking for something else to hang onto.

You could barely bring yourself to look out the corner of your eye to Shotaro. He was matching your breathing, one hand resting on his chest while the other pushed sweaty bangs from his face.

“My mom asked about you.” You say.

Shotaro turned to face you and you averted your eyes back to the ceiling. He’s silent for a moment, tapping on his chest like he’s trying to find the words.

“Terrible thing to say after we had sex.” Shotaro laughs to the ceiling. “But what’d you tell her?” He asked after a beat of silence.

“That you’re doing well.” You answered.

You told yourself Shotaro’s heavy sigh was because he was still trying to catch his breath. He got up from laying on the bed and sat on the edge, his back facing you. He didn’t say anything else when he ran his hands through his hair again.

“Why would you tell her that?” He asked.

You got up after him, looking at the back of his his head. 

“Because you are doing well.” You answered.

Shotaro turned back to face you. His eyebrows were knit together and he tilted his head to the side. You should be looking at the ceiling light.

“How would you know that?”

You really should be looking at the ceiling light. Because Shotaro keeps his eyes on you and looks upset, you can’t bring yourself to look away. You’re gormless, mouth agape while he fully turns to face you.

“I mean. You haven’t had an actual conversation with me since you broke up with me.” He reaches to the ground and pulls his shirt over his head. You should be getting dressed too. What you came here for is done, but you’re still in the center of the bed. “The only time we actually speak is when we are having sex.” He adds.

Shotaro gets up from the bed and pulls his sweats up his legs. You start looking for your own clothes, they have to be somewhere near your body. You know your bag is still on Shotaro’s computer chair, the S charm he bought you still hanging off the bag.

“I thought you preferred for it to be like this?” You said.

“You think I want the person who broke up my heart to come over just for sex and then just pretend I don’t exist?” 

Shotaro’s bewildered expression makes you turn and face him. There’s no hiding the pain on his face, the confusion in his expressive hands. You have nothing to say.

“Why would I want the girl that broke my heart to come over just to break it again and again and—”

“I didn’t break your heart.” You say quietly.

Shotaro has to force eye contact between the two of you by propping himself up on his elbows. He looks at you confused and angry.

“How can you tell me that? You broke up with me and wouldn’t even tell me why. Then you call me outside your mom’s house after a funeral and it seems like you miss me and you need me but then after it’s like you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” You say quickly.

“Then tell me why we broke up.” The anger fizzled out somewhere. Shotaro is on the bed, looking at you. He’s so desperate, his hand reaches out and grabs yours to hold it tight. He shakes your hand when you don’t answer, and you can see that heartbreak he was talking about earlier. You find your clothes fast, locking onto them before pulling your hand out of his. “Please.” He begs.

“I don’t think we should sleep together anymore.” You say.

Before Shotaro can say a single thing you’re getting dressed. He follows you wordlessly around his place just like the first time. Anything he says falls on deaf ears. The only resistance was when he stood in front of his computer chair, stopping you from grabbing your bag. But after a moment he handed it to you, and you were gone.

November was colder than you thought it would be. You had to bring your jacket close to your body to try and preserve some warmth. Leaving Shotaro’s apartment even after he was calling for you made you forget that nights were cold. You were aimless suddenly when you made it out of his apartment complex. You should’ve shuffled home in the cold to spend another night alone, coming to terms with the fact that your relationship was over. But the other way like a honing beacon the lights inside of the diner were still on. It wasn’t that late after all, and Giselle was working. There was the soup and sandwich special and still the chance to reinvent yourself. So you shuffled across the gravel and then the grass and then the intersection to the warm yellow lights. The cream of mushroom soup and reuben sandwich special etched on the a-frame outside was like a honing beacon. 

You opened the glass door to an empty diner. Giselle sat behind the hostess stand, on her phone until the overhead bell chimed. She grabbed menus and prepared her customer service voice before she looked up and realized it was you. 

“Here kinda late?” Giselle asked.

The door slammed closed because of the wind behind you. Giselle said a fact, you were never here past the midday lunch special. You never came to the diner outside your window, you never really left your dorms this late into the night either. 

“I was wanting some soup.” You say.

Giselle said nothing else as she guided you to your designated booth. The cup of water and her hand lingering on your shoulder was some form of silent support, and she was heading to the kitchen instead of sitting down with you.

You were watching the rim of your glass and people filtering in and out of the diner. There were barely any people, there was never any people. Only stragglers, people studying late tucked into the corners near the outlets. People sitting at the bar drinking coffee even though it’s nighttime. A completely different crowd than what you’re used to. Being surrounded by people means you’re not alone, and that’s a feeling that’s been eating at you more than usual. So you people watch. You look at the workers behind the counter and the glimpses of Giselle’s pink hair you see behind the swinging door. You hear the bell above the door ring while you’re looking at the back of someone, trying to read their dimmed computer screen.

“I figured you’d be here.”

When you turned around Shotaro was standing next to the booth, dressed in a long coat. He was wearing his slides and socks, something thrown together. It was obvious he wasn’t concerned with dressing for the weather or for style as much as he was concerned finding you. He was still wearing his sweats and sleep shirt and out of breath as he motioned to the other side of the booth.

“Can I sit?” He asked.

You nodded and Shotaro slid in. He took off his coat, shivering from the incoming draft as he settled into the seat. You tried to seem as calm as he did, mirroring his look around the cafe.

“This is where Giselle introduced me to you.” He says.

“This is where you came to talk to Giselle about that project and I just happened to be here.”

You’re playing with the straw in your cup when Shotaro shakes his head. He laughs to himself and looks at the table, running his hand over the top before putting it underneath.

“I used to sit in that back corner over there.” Shotaro points to the part of the diner you’ve never looked at. Someone occupies the space there now, sitting in an stool hunched over as they type away on their computer. You preferred booth seats over stools, so you never paid attention to that side. You’re stuck on the person you’re looking at, not even turning when Shotaro starts speaking again. “You used to come in here so often and order the soup and sandwich special.” He says.

You try your hardest to remember the times you’ve looked over your shoulder. Trying to remember the other table Giselle would always sit at before she started sitting at yours. You try to remember her friend she would mention on occasion, each time you’d tell her you didn’t know him.

“I had to beg Giselle to introduce me to you. She said you wouldn’t like me almost a million times.” He laughs and you see his hand go back up to mess with his eyebrow. A nervous tick that Shotaro always forgot was a nervous tick until he noticed your eyes staring at his hands. “I insisted I just needed her to introduce me to you and I could handle it. But I got so nervous she had to do all the talking for me.” He says.

Finally you turn back to Shotaro. You have to blink to see him clearly. 

“Why are you here right now?” You ask. 

Your voice is quiet, and so close to breaking. Shotaro leans closer, experimentally reaching his hand across the table. You shouldn’t grab it, you really shouldn’t grab it. But his palm facing upwards looks so comforting and you haven’t touched him outside the context of the bedroom in so long it feels like the first time. You let his hand completely clasp over yours and you look at him the same way he looks back at you.

“You haven’t talked to me. I just want to know why.” He says, just as quiet.

You don’t know why you’ve kept it a secret for this long. You couldn’t come to terms that you broke up with him for a ridiculous reason, or that you were in the wrong. You would’ve thought that he’d move on by now, and those girls you convinced yourself he was seeing would’ve cleared his mind. But he looked tortured for the first time in his life. His eyes were pleading and he was wearing the clothes he wears to bed in public. Withholding the reason why you two broke up was the thing that kept him here. You were trapping him again, unknowingly leveraging a breakup with sex. 

“I didn’t want to stop you from living your life.” You look down at his hand, still holding yours tight. “You stopped going out because of me and you stopped seeing your friends too.” You said.

When Shotaro scoffs you look up at him. He’s shaking his head like he can’t believe it, holding your hand tighter.

“Who says I stopped going out because of you? Maybe I just got tired of going out.” His other hand is on top of the table, motioning towards something. “I’ve been going out for as long as I can remember.” He says.

“What about your friends?” You ask.

“What about my friends? I see them everyday.” He says.

When you start shaking your head, Shotaro leans close, until the edge of the table stops him.

“I stay in with you because I want to. I still see my friends, and I still live my life.” His other hand wraps around yours. “I want to live a life with you in it. Come out with me, or we can find a new place together if you don’t want to be holed up inside. But I don’t see the harm in doing that on a Friday instead of going to a club I’ve been at a million times.” 

When you try to open your mouth to speak, you can’t get the words out. When tear wells in your eyes then rolls down your cheek you have to look outside, anywhere but at Shotaro. You can’t escape him when you see his reflection in the glass window, or when he looks at you even in the reflection. Your other hand wipes away your tears, laying flat on the table.

“I meant it when I said I miss you. I miss you. So much. I should’ve told you how sorry I was the night of the funeral.” You say to the glass.

You see Shotaro nod in the reflection. 

“I missed you too. I prefer this instead. Communication is important.” He smiles.

You smile too, turning back towards him. You wipe away more of your tears, fighting that lump in the back of your throat. 

“Next time we break up though, please kill me instead. My heart can’t take losing contact with you again.” Shotaro says.

Before you can ask him the question you already know the answer to—the burning question of if you’re back together—Giselle comes around from the back of house with two sandwiches. She talks about how she’s the matchmaker and how sick you two make her until the diner closes.

[justastraymoa]

Yet Unnamed

Chapter 6

Masterlist

Warnings for Yet Unnamed: Kidnapping, cuffs, injuries, drugging by injection, mentions of needles, lots of swearing, kissing, fluff, angst, idiots in love all around.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest.

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

You jerk awake when your driver calls out to you. You didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep, but it made for a quick ride home. Bonus.

Half asleep you made your way to the apartment. As soon as the door clicked open it jerked from your grip and Bin slammed into you. It was a déjà vu moment.

“Hi, Bin.” You mumble crawling up and wrapping your legs around his waist. You were still tired, and Bin was warm and comfy. Plus, it felt so good to hold him again.

“You forgot to turn on your phone.” He told you as he headed into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him.

Your phone was still in your hoodie pocket. Forgotten since the plane landed and the desperate need to get out of there took over. “Oops, sorry.” You sneak a hand in between your bodies to grab your phone and turn it on. It vibrated endlessly in your hand as you rested your face in Bins neck.

“Look what I found.” Bin announced.

There was a chorus of cheers and greetings, and someone even smacked your butt making you jump slightly.

“Lee Know, did you just slap my ass?” You asked without lifting your head.

There was a long, telling pause. “No.” He eventually answered unconvincingly.

You snort softly at his obvious lie.

“Where are your bags?” Chan asked.

You groan and lean towards Chans voice, trusting that either he would catch you or Binnie would stop you from falling.

In this instance Chan caught you easily and you transferred into his arms. “Welcome home, beautiful.” He said lowly, supporting you under your thighs.

You tried not to blush at the pet name.

“Mm. I had my stuff shipped. Cheaper. Easier.” You answer his question. Chan was wearing a soft sweater that you could not stop running your hands over and you nestled your cheek on it as well, savoring the moment.

“Smart move. Get everything situated.” Lino asked. You just shrugged, too tired to keep talking.

You felt Chan sit down on the couch and situate you so you were laying down more. A sudden weight along your back made you open your eyes you didn’t even realize you had shut. Ayen rested his chin on your shoulder, softly smiling at you when he saw you looking.

“Missed you guys.” You admitted. It was more than true. This was the best, most complete and pain free you have been since the moment you separated.

“We missed you too.” Ayen replied.

Sandwiched between Ayen and Chan, warm, and weighted down, you drifted off again, beyond happy to be home.

You were only out a few minutes when the front door opened, and Felix called out startling you awake. “We’re home!” He shouted.

“Pabo! She had just fallen asleep!” Seungmin snapped.

“Y/ns here?” Hyunjin asked. He appeared over the back of the couch. “Welcome home, we would have given you a ride.” He kissed your hairline.

“Sorry, bad flight. I just wanted to get out of there.” You explained.

“Did you show her yet?” Felix asked, joining us in the living room.

“No, we were going to let her nap a bit.” Ayen answered.

“Show me what?” My stuff couldn’t have arrived yet.

“We have a surprise for you.” Seungmin announced excitedly.

“Hopefully you like it. It was mainly to kill time until you returned.” Changbin sounded more nervous than excited.

You perk up. “Oh yeah? What is it?

Ayen got off your back and Chan helped you to stand up before they pulled you through the apartment towards the bedroom. Ayen covered your eyes, and you shuffled your feet and held your hands out so you wouldn’t walk into a wall or any furniture.

“We won’t let you run into anything.” Chan promised laughing.

“You are all menaces, I never know.” You respond not trusting his promise at all. There was excited chatter from the others ahead of you, and you heard a door open. Then, your eyes were uncovered.

You blinked a couple of times while your vision adjusted to the sudden light. You were in Chans room – or well your room now, but it was not the same room you left behind.

This one had the far wall painted light purple; a white tree painted in the open space that had white frames scattered along the branches for pictures. The light fixture in the middle of the room now had several fake vines leading from it to the edges of the room, creating a canopy along the ceiling of the room. The bedframe and dresser were now a soft white, the blankets and pillows on the mattress a mixture of purples and white. There was a rug in the middle of the floor of shaggy off-white color. It looked soft and fluffy even from this distance.

Across the bed there was a brand-new desk with the computer, laptop, and tablet set up for you already. There was a flower desk lamp in one corner and a dark flowery gaming pad under the keyboard and mouse.

It was the most amazing, beautiful thing you had ever seen.

“We thought – we thought this may make it feel more like home here.” Chan explained as you looked around the room in awe, running your hands along the furniture.

“We each pitched in. Hyunjin painted the tree, Felix set up the computers, we all helped pick out the colors and furniture.” Han explained.

“What do you think?” Bin asked after a minute of silence where you took in the room and gathered your thoughts.

It took you another second to gather your blank thoughts. They had gone out of their way to make this space distinctly yours instead of Chans old room that you live in now. They had spent their few off hours and little free time looking for items they thought you would like and putting them together for you. Even making sure you had a comfortable working space.

Turning you face your soulmates with watery eyes. Despite the initial excitement they had showing you your surprise they now looked more worried. “This is so amazing! Thank you so much!”

There was an audible breath of relief.

You pull Ayen in for a hug and kiss on the cheek, he was the closest to you since he had covered your eyes previously. Felix was next. One by one you thanked your soulmates with a hug and kiss, feeling a great swell of gratitude and pride. You honestly couldn’t have asked for better soulmates. They are smart, talented, sassy, and so incredibly sweet and thoughtful.

“So, tell me about what you have been up to since I left.” You request as you wandered around your new room again. A vase of flowers on the dresser you failed to see before smelled amazing when you leaned in to sniff them in curiosity. They had to have gotten them yesterday at the earliest. Everyone knew flowers were the most fragrant and beautiful the day after you bought them.

The top blanket was soft to the touch as you sat on it, waiting for their stories to begin. You of course already know a lot from everyone texting 24/7, but you wanted to hear it again. See their faces as they showed you pictures and told stories they hadn’t thought of before.

Everyone ended up sitting around the room as the boys told you what they had been up to.

Felix showed you pictures on his phone from the fashion shows he and Hyunjin had done. “And look, look! Hyunjin looked so cool on this one! You can’t see it in the pictures, but they put this sheen powder on him and in the lights, he glowed!”

Hyune looked over the top of the phone to peek at the pictures. “I liked the one we both did with the fireworks. Can’t wait to see those photos.”

“Oh yeah! This runway had mini fireworks that went off as we passed them. And we got to walk together. It was interesting.”

Chan, Bin, and Han let you listen to the new single set to be released tomorrow. The one they had all been working so hard on to get it finished. It was very hard not to squeal and play the song on repeat. It was amazing and showed off all their strengths plus some new skills they had been working on. It would be an instant hit for absolute sure, you had no doubt in your mind on that.

You would need to invest in better headphones so you could continue to listen to Stray Kids on repeat without them teasing you about it like you were sure they would. Even if they would secretly be very pleased as well.

“What about you?” Lino asked after Bin complained at length about how his preferred gym had closed for waxing for 3 days and he had to use a subpar replacement.

You shrugged, not really having any interesting stories. “I had already been fired from my job, so I didn’t have to worry about that.” You didn’t bother to mention how they had spelled your name wrong even on the pink slip they gave you after your lack of explanation of where you were. You were only there for the paycheck and couldn’t stand most of them. Barely tolerated the rest.

“Any problems selling your place?” Chan asked as you showed them the before and after pics of the apartment you had once lived in.

“I lost my security deposit for breaking the lease early, but I was expecting that. Now the place is the landlords problem.” It had been kind of a pain in the ass. Nice enough, but had its share of problems and wasn’t in the best of neighborhoods. It wasn’t a loss.

To be honest you hadn’t left too much behind that you would miss. Pretty much just your family graves. Everything and everyone else weren’t anything you would lose sleep over. Most you were glad to be rid of.

“No friends you will miss?” Han asked. He was laying in Linos lap, eyes half closed as Lino rubbed his chest.

You shook your head with another shrug.

“You’re not super sociable, are you?” Lino observed. Not judging you, just stating a fact.

You smiled. “Not really. But I’ve also never really felt…at home. I was always out of place growing up and that didn’t change as an adult. I never could quite find where I fit in.” This was something you had had to explain to countless people over the years. They had accepted your explanation, but never really understood it. Not even your parents. You half expect the boys to be the same way.

So you are shocked when several of them nodded immediately in understanding. “We all feel or felt like that. The odd man out. Unable to truly fit in. Though some of us are more sociable than others.” Hyune explained.

“I think it has something to do with our soul group. Something in the bond to pull us together instead of finding other people.” Seungmin put in.

Made sense. If something traumatic had happened to the soul bond in the past it may have affected it even now. Making it hard for your group to truly befriend or trust outsiders past a certain extent.

It was elating and freeing to finally be understood rather than just accepted. Again, you were so grateful for your soulmates.

~

The next day – after sleeping in a bit – you got to work on their upcoming socials. Their song had dropped, and you were taking over monitoring their comment replies and any posts they wanted to make. And they were pouring in.

You were on your new computer with your door open so they knew they could come in. And they did on and off for chats or quick visits. The boys were mostly at home today. Still working, just from home.

Their posts and comments had to be read over and approved by me before they actually poste, and you had just intercepted one from Bin that mentioned how ‘his girl’ had listened to the song last night. Since you were the only girl in the soul group and no one was supposed to know about you yet, that comment could pose a issue.

Han was probably right too. Most would be happy for the boys. I-STAYS for sure. But there would be lots that would be jealous and highly judgmental of me. But they would be happy for them anyways.

You also took some of the sneak peak photos to start ‘leaking’ in a couple days with your carefully worded captions to go with them. Created to tease and incite STAY. Keep them foaming at the mouth and guess what is actually going on. It was scheduled to begin when the new song hype started to die down and all that was left to do was let the fans enjoy the song.

Each member got to decide what they wanted to do in their picture. Ayen laced out fingers together and kissed your hand in his picture. You blushed as you inspected the photo because he looked directly at the camera with a lovesick sultry look. Bedroom eyes. It was just your hand, not the only ‘dainty and small’ among you, but it didn’t have the veins that theirs tended to show in photos. Not the same masculine look.

Chan took his while you cuddled on the couch during a break. You were lying along him, head resting over his heart, giving your eyes a break from screens. He let the very top of your head show in the photo. Messy hair indistinguishable from so many others. Nothing super obvious.

In Hans you had a hoodie on, hood covering your head and face from view. He was placing a pair of headphones over your ears and had a huge laughing smile on his face, bright eyed and cheerful. This was an actual unplanned moment taken by Hyunjin as you tested new headphones. Han was actually laughing at your reason behind getting new headphones.

Bins was of your hands. He had made rings out of two daisies and placed them on your fingers before lacing them together and taking the photo. It was actually adorable, and you couldn’t stand it. You had squealed and pinched his cheeks afterwards to relieve the aggression the cuteness of the moment caused.

Hyunjins was of him tying your shoe. You had taken the photo after he presented you with a pair of shoes that matched his new pair. You immediately put them on and insisted you go for a (highly disguised) walk to show them off. Your laces had come undone, and he kneeled to tie it for you without hesitation. The picture showed the matching shoes, your lower leg, and the top of his head. You had not taken it with the intention of him using it to soft launch you, but he liked it so much he did.

Felixs was when it was raining out. He dragged you outside under a light with an umbrella. It was of the shadow on the puddled ground as you both huddled under the umbrella. You were huddled close enough together that you couldn’t see any distinguishable shape to your shadow, so it was safe to use.

Seungmin took one of your feet as you sat in his lap. Both your feet were on the carpet, his bracing either side of your smaller ones. Of course, to avoid any feet scandals you were both wearing slippers. Cute ones that he got you because you mentioned that your toes were always cold. Yours were Kuromi and his were Pompompurin.

Linos was when you two had found a stray kitten. The kitten was rubbing against your shins, and he was crouched down petting it. You had reached out and petted his head with one hand and took the photo with the other. Another unplanned for this specific thing, but he was enchanted with the photo, even setting it as his wallpaper. Though he claimed it was because of the cute cat, not the fact that you were petting him and being cute.

This was of course all soft launching and teasing. The reveal would come from the photoshoot and mini blurb about me. Then the YouTube video where I would answer questions about myself in an interview and the boys would talk about me in a separate interview. Just like their one kids room videos.

Before that it would be these photos and telling STAY that they were actively looking for their final member again. The prolonging also gave STAY a chance to get used to the idea. To understand what was coming so they weren’t so shocked by it. And hopefully curb some of the hate bound to come your way.

You watched as Ayens picture of your hand made STAY go bat shit crazy. Theories were flying around everywhere. They had already guessed that you had been found, but there were others who insisted that the search was just bringing the boys closer together.

Chans photo was next. And it was more of the same. Fans wrongly guessing whose head was in the photo, and it was always a guess of another member. There was a faction that just didn’t want to believe that the final member had been or would be found. That would dash any hope of it being them, even if they knew it was impossible. Finding the final member would close that final opening, the final opportunity. The Stray Kids soul bond group would be complete. It was both a happy and sad affair for fans.

With it all going on, you were up to your eyeballs in social media. There were days you didn’t spend any time with the boys at all because you couldn’t finish till late into the night, and there was absolutely no time for breaks. Though they understood and made a point to check on you, either in person or by text. Someone always made sure you had food and water, even if you sometimes forgot to eat and drink it. Though they were good about reminding you to. They were caring. Amazingly so. And it made you love them more each time they showed you their love in their small ways. Small ways that said so much.

🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻

💥The inspo pics for the posts that I had. I didn't have one for all of them.💥

🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

Yet Unnamed Taglist: @fackeraccount @velvetmoonlght @hyunjinstolemyheart @vampkittenb82 @happy-jj @estella-novella @demigoddreamon-blog @tiana-maxivar @ms-flowergirl @jennibahng @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @mimimiloomeelomi @simpforskz143148 @xxeiraxx @lil-bear08 @brbwritingfanfic @jisungs-iced-americano @zofia515 @missvanjii @malyxsoulpersonal @silentreadersthings

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght

[lucysarah-c]

I'll just say, I may be here posting about Mounting Spring, asks etc... But I'm cooking... I'm cooking something everyone asked me for lol

“I like this! This 3D flower pattern is so on trend right now.”

Levi’s eyes were glued to the screen as a freshly painted nail was shown up close.

“Oh, hi! Thank you,” her voice popped up again, and like an animal in pure confusion, he tilted his head to the side.

What are those things popping up? He was completely lost.

“Isn’t it too late for coffee?” she read aloud before grabbing her cup and taking a sip from the straw. “There’s no such thing as too much black or too late for coffee. Plus, it’s girls’ night! What’s a girls’ night without iced coffee or a glass of wine?”

This feels wrong now, Levi thought, taking a sip of his own drink, lazily sprawled on his bed. But when she started showing off her pajamas, that’s when he lost it.

Holy shit... it’s the little shorts doing it for me.

“This is why kids these days have their eyes glued to this shit,” he muttered, almost offended— as if his own mouth wasn’t slightly open and his eyes weren’t stuck to the screen as she vibed to the song playing in the background.

“Have you ever tried… this one?” She winked at the camera, arm in the air, hips moving in a way that Levi quickly guessed was meant to simulate riding. Over the kitchen island.

…I’m definitely not better than a 12-year-old boy.

The chat flooded with messages about how much they loved the song.

Whose song is this?

“Oh! I love that! Ugh, my heart is divided, I want all of them to win! Birds of a Feather is so good, but Hot to Go?” she gushed, listing more names Levi didn’t recognize.

Who are those?

“And the dance?”

What trend? What song? What dance?

Levi felt lost. Completely lost.

“Oh, thank you for the donation! Here, a heart for you!”

She pressed two fingers together in the shape of a heart. Levi tilted his head again, frowning.

How the hell is that a heart?

But before he could keep questioning his entire existence—or, perhaps, his age—her expression shifted. The usual bright smile faded as she read something from the chat.

“Look, if you’ve got a problem with me, just keep scrolling, buddy. Can an admin ban him from the stream, please?”

That made Levi do the exact opposite. He scrolled up through the rapidly moving chat until he found the comment in question. Some idiot had said she owed it to him if something happened because of what she was wearing and doing on screen.

“What’s your fucking problem, dude?” Levi whispered, clicking his tongue. “If a woman has never even touched you, don’t say it so loudly.”

His fingers moved on their own, pressing the guy’s username, looking for a way to reply—until he suddenly let the phone drop onto his chest and stared at the ceiling.

“I need to calm down,” he muttered. Being in this live stream was already too much for him. Getting into an online argument was not the way to go.

How long had he been watching? He wasn’t sure. But in that time, he’d learned that ASMR meant tapping on objects with freshly done nails and whispering, that people voted on live which designs she should do next, and… a whole lot more.

“Say you can’t sleep, baby, I know. That’s me, espresso…”

She sang along to the music, and he felt hypnotized.

“…Did I just spend two hours of my life on this?”

The “Love ya!” came through the speakers as she blew a final kiss before ending the live.

“For fuck’s sake…” Levi muttered, almost offended. “You can’t be that stupidly cute.”

Maybe pop songs were popular for a reason. Maybe that’s why Levi never downloaded any apps on his phone or used it for anything beyond strictly necessary texts. Because explain to him why the hell he was humming at work.

“Since when do you know Sabrina Carpenter?”

Hange appeared out of nowhere, catching him off guard.

Levi had to come up with an excuse. Fast.

“What? Is it illegal for me to know new songs?”

“No…” Hange dragged the word out, squinting at him in suspicion. “But since when do you?”

“Give me a break. I’m not that old. I can get to know new artists,” he brushed it off while brewing himself a tea.

Hange let it slide, but their mind was already working, scheming. They kept talking, mostly about work. But as Levi finished his tea and was ready to leave, Hange casually dropped:

“Espresso?”

Levi frowned. “What?”

Hange repeated the question immediately, as if he hadn’t heard them the first time. But of course, he had.

“Fuck no. You know I hate coffee. Black tea,” he grumbled.

To his shock, Hange chuckled, shaking their head, biting their lip as they held back a knowing smile.

“Aww, Shortie… don’t give yourself away.”

“Huh?”

“Espresso. That’s the song you were humming.” Their grin widened. “I’m starting to think you’re not just listening to new artists—you’re watching new people.”

Levi stiffened.

And for the first time, he couldn’t hide the subtle embarrassed blush creeping up his face.

“Get off my ass,” he muttered, already walking away.

But Hange wasn’t done.

“And I think it might be Erwin’s cute little influencer friend!”

I won't say anything else, let the readers figure it out.

[sativariddle]

can i request headcannons or drabble or fic or what you prefer about fred weasley x black cat kinda reader? so basically opposites you know. thank u so much!!!

…ISN’T SHE LOVELY?

m.list.

fred weasley was many things—charming, mischievous, a certified menace to hogwarts hallways—but he was not someone who gave up easily.

and when it came to you, he was relentless.

you were the complete opposite in every imaginable way.

where fred thrived on noise and chaos, you flourished in silence and isolation.

he was the kind of person who could talk his way out of—or into—anything, words spilling from his lips like a never-ending stream, always charming, always quick-witted. you, on the other hand, preferred the quiet, finding comfort in the space between words rather than the rush to fill them.

fred hunted for excitement in things that exploded—in fireworks, in pranks, in the kind of reckless spontaneity that made life feel like an experiment.

you, however, found your joy in simpler, quieter moments. a book in your hands, a warm drink, a night spent alone in the library with only the sound of turning pages and the distant crackle of the common room fire to keep you company.

you liked books. he liked fireworks.

you liked the quiet. he was the loudness.

and yet, for all your differences, fred was drawn to you in ways he couldn’t quite explain.

he found himself watching you when you read, utterly fascinated by the way your eyebrows scrunched in concentration whenever a character in your book did something particularly foolish. he watched the way your fingers ghosted over the pages, how you would pause just slightly before flipping to the next, as if savoring each sentence, each word.

and you? you barley glanced at him.

because fred weasley was a storm, and you had spent your life carefully constructing a world untouched by such things. he was messy, unstoppable, always pressing into places you didn’t want to be disturbed.

he was infuriatingly persistent, with a grin that made your stomach twist in ways you refused to acknowledge.

and still, for reasons beyond logic, beyond reason, beyond all the things that made sense in the world—

fred weasley liked you.

you weren’t mean, per se, but you didn’t waste time on nonsense either—something fred weasley happened to specialize in.

and yet, that didn’t avert him. no, if anything, it made you all the more irresistible. so, fred weasley made it his personal mission to get you to notice him.

go out with him.

── ATTEMPT #1

“hey there, gorgeous,” fred greeted with a smirk, casually leaning against the library table where you were deeply immersed in a book on dark arts counter-curses.

you didn’t even look up.

fred, unfazed, plopped down across from you, tapping the book with his finger. “y’know, if you’re interested in counter-curses, you should see the one i put on filch’s broom closet. absolute masterpiece. you’d be impressed.”

silence.

“i mean, i don’t want to boast, though—”

you flipped a page.

fred blinked.

for the first time in his life, his charm had failed so spectacularly that he felt personally offended. he dramatically clutched his chest. “blimey, you wound me, love. not even a glance? a chuckle? nothing?”

still nothing.

── .✦ ATTEMPT #2

fred was no stranger to public displays of ridiculousness, so naturally, his next step involved something big.

“alright, ladies and gentlemen, gather round!” he announced in the great hall during breakfast, hopping onto one of the benches.

you barely spared him a glance as fred’s grin faltered for half a second, but he pressed on, undeterred.

he cleared his throat dramatically and held up a parchment.

“for the most elusive, most mysterious, most devastatingly beautiful witch at hogwarts, i have penned a sonnet. ahem.”

ron groaned. “merlin’s sake, someone stop him.”

fred ignored him and continued.

❝ roses are red,

my hair is too,

you hate me,

let me date you? ❞

silence.

one second…

two seconds…

three…-

the entire gryffindor table burst into laughter.

someone clapped.

even mcgonagall looked mildly entertained.

you? you continued eating your toast like nothing had happened.

his stomach dipped.

surely, surely, you’d at least react.

a scoff? a smirk? an eye-roll? something?

anything.

fred slumped into his seat, utterly humiliated.

“well, that was a bloody disaster,” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

george patted his back. “it was tragic, really. i’d be embarrassed if i were you.”

“i am embarrassed.”

“she’s uninterested.”

fred groaned, dragging a hand down his face as he plopped back onto the bench in defeat. “impossible. no one is uninterested in me.”

“tell that to her.”

fred did. again and again. and again.

── .✦ ATTEMPT #3

if charm didn’t work, and public spectacle failed, then perhaps what fred weasley needed… was a prank.

and so, he did what any reasonable person would do—he slipped a pygmy puff into your bag.

it was a foolproof plan. the tiny thing was bright pink, obnoxiously fluffy, and would surely elicit some kind of reaction from you.

at first, you didn’t even notice.

then, in the middle of class, a small, high-pitched squeak sounded from your bag.

you blinked.

the room went silent.

professor flitwick stopped mid-sentence.

squeak!

squeak!

slowly, you reached into your bag and pulled out the tiny creature, holding it up for everyone to see. it wriggled happily, unaware that it had just become the center of attention.

fred, sitting a few rows behind, was biting his lip so hard to contain his laughter that he nearly choked.

your eyes flickered to him.

your gaze finally, finally flickered to him—a fleeting movement, barely a second long, but to fred, it felt like the universe had just tilted in his favor.

for the first time, your eyes met his, truly met his, and his breath caught in his throat.

it wasn’t much.

just a glance.

a flicker of awareness.

but merlin, it sent something electric racing down his spine.

his heart, that thumping little thing, did a little victory dance, thudding wildly against his ribs like a snitch desperate to break free.

had you always looked at people like that? like you were sizing them up, as if deciding whether they were worth your time?

and more importantly—had you just decided he might be?

you didn’t say anything, but the slight arch of your brow spoke volumes.

well played, weasley.

── .✦ THE MOMENT HE ALMOST GAVE UP.

by the time fred had exhausted nearly every trick in the book, even he had to admit that you were stubborn.

you were like a fortress—unshakable, unreadable, and completely immune to his failed attempts.

“i don’t get it,” he groaned, sprawled on the gryffindor common room couch. “i’ve done every sort of presenting, and she still won’t budge.”

george snorted. “maybe she just doesn’t like you, mate.”

fred sat up sharply. “no. impossible. i refuse to believe that.”

still, doubt gnawed at him.

maybe george was right. maybe you simply weren’t interested. maybe he should—

“fine.”

fred nearly fell off the couch.

you stood before him, arms crossed, expression unreadable.

he swears on his whole existence, the entire common room had gone silent.

fred froze. “—what?”

“you win, weasley,” you said, tilting your head. “one date.”

for a full second, fred forgot how to function.

he swore he could feel the heat rush straight from his chest to his ears, because bloody hell, you were looking at him—really looking at him—and it was doing things to his already fragile sanity.

he opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, utterly and completely dumbfounded.

then, like the fool he was, he grinned.

wide.

ridiculously so.

“well, well, well,” he drawled, trying (and failing) to keep the sheer glee out of his voice. “i knew you couldn’t resist me forever.”

you rolled your eyes. “don’t push your luck.”

“oh, i absolutely will.”

he wasn’t lying.

but as you turned and walked away, fred caught something—a tiny, almost imperceptible smirk on your lips.

fred spun toward george with the giddiness of a man utterly bewitched, his grin stretching so wide it nearly split his freckled face in two.

his excitement was practically definite, buzzing in the air around him as he clapped a hand to his brother’s shoulder, eyes still dancing with the memory of her.

“isn’t she just lovely?” he sighed, his voice brimming with something dangerously close to awe, as if he himself couldn’t quite believe the effect you had on him.

george, merely raised a brow, glancing between fred’s dreamy expression and the direction you had just walked away in.

with a long, suffering sigh, he muttered, “you’re doomed, mate.”

fred only grinned wider.

that chase was over. but the real fun?

had only just begun.

xoxo.

[malsmind]

more than we thought

a bsf!mat xbsf!reader series by @ 𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓈𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹

chapter 1

warnings: swearing, slight flirting

wc: 1.5k

english is not my first language!

unexpectedly, you and matt met on the east coast, where you both lived a few years back, making your first actual and geniuine bond of friendship with the triplets when you were fifteen and they were seventeen. you got along with his brothers, then they inroduced you to matt. it just clicked. the both of you got along instantly, the same interests you shared along with your and matts mental health, dealing with similar problems just made you feel understood, and he felt the same.

who would have thought that about four years later, you guys would share a bond thats even stronger, a friendship that you'd never want to lose.

creating content on the internet, making youtube videos.. it was a job that wasn't your cup of tea, but your closest friends loved it. you always supported them, every step of the way til this day, you were happy for them, it made you happy to see them so happy about it.

even when in 2022, when you were seventeen, and they were nineteen, they moved to Los Angeles.

they came to visit, obviously because of their family and friends. it was weird at first, not hanging out with them during the summer, not getting to go for late night drives with matt when school was draining you again, but it wasn't the worst. you knew you'd join them soon after you graduated, that's how you always planned it to be. when that day finally came, you were beyond excited, and so were nick, matt and chris. eventually, you did find your passion in making content on social media. not fully commited to it, but you still did your occaisonal little vlog, posted tiktoks, instagram dumps and appeared on your friends youtube channel every now and then. it was safe to say, you were happy in life. highschool sucked for you, you had friends, sure, but none that you'd actually feel happy around. no real friends, no friends that'd actually have you feeling like you had someone you could trust, laugh with, share memories with. so moving to LA to where your real friends were, getting your first own apartment, growing independent felt like a dream come true.

you were currently sat on matt's bed, looking for some decoration and furniture for your apartment. you moved in almost a year ago but you didn't get the chance to fully furnish and decorate your apartment yet. decisions on what you want and the various options making it harder than it needed to be.

"i can't find a good coffee table. they all just look the same." you sighed, throwing your phone aside and flopping down into matt's pile of pillows.

he turned around from where he was sat at his desk, playing fortnite with chris, taking a look at your phone display layed out with pictures of coffee tables. they indeed all looked the same. "well, you got any idea what you want specifically?" matt asked you, turning back around to face is screen. "anything that doesn't look like those right there. they look too modern and it's just not for me." you picked up your phone again, trying your luck on facebook marketplace, vinted, and other second hand places. vintage was always your way to go. the aesthetic fitting your personality just right. at the end of the day, your apartment was like your safe space, so your goal was to make it look cozy and feel like it too.

noticing you were now back into focusing on your deep dive on furniture, matt didn't say anything more. you scrolled for what felt like ages until you finally found your dream coffee table for your living room, a perfect match for the couch you had bought two months ago. you apbrubtly got up from matt's bed, holding your phone for him to look at your find. "oh my god. tell me this isn't the most PERFECT coffee table you've ever seen" matt turned his head, shoving his headset off on one side to be able to pay you more attention, his eyes squiting at the picture in front of him. "how much is that?"

"$200" you smiled, happy with your find.

"$200 for that old thing??" matt frowned at you as if trying to ask you if you were seriously going to spend that much money on it. "it's a fair price, dude." you returned his expression, turning your phone off and shoving it into your pocket. matt shrugged "you gonna go pick it up?"

"yup, you wanna come along?" you asked him, fixing your hair from laying on it for the past two hours. "yeah, lemme just finish this game" matt said, putting his headset back on, letting chris know too. you made your way out of matt's room, sitting down on the couch next to nick while waiting.

"nick look" you squealed, proud and happy of what you're about to pick up. nick looked up from his laptop, grabbing your phone and swiping trough the pictures. "oh my god, that's PERFECT for your living room!" nick exclaimed, matching your excitement. "literally what i said. i think plants by the wall next to the couch would look SO good with that coffee table in the room." you said, picturing it. nick agreed, handing you your phone back. "you wanna come along with me and matt and pick it up?" you asked nick, typing out a message for the seller to let him know you'll be on your way soon. "i gotta edit our friday video, sorry. but i'll come by when you got it!" nick offered and you nodded. "no worries."

matt's door opened and he walked up to you and nick, stretching. "you ready to head out?" he asked, nodding his head at you. you got up with a yes, waving goodbye to nick and making your way downstairs, matt following close. matt had picked you up earlier today, so your car was back at your place. he drove to the location put into the gps of the car, bobbing his head along to whatever song you put on aux. you were restless with excitement, admiring the pictures of the piece of furtniture that you were soon to call your own.

you arrived at the sellers place after about 15 minutes of driving, getting out of the car with a slight jump of happiness. matt shook his head with a chuckle, locking the car and following you. the coffee table looked just like it did on the photos, just perfect. after getting it into the car and driving to your place, you and matt carried it up into your apartment, placing it down on the rug in your living room. just how you imagined it, it looked perfect. you loved it. "it's so fucking perfect i'm gonna cry!" you chirped excitedly, hugging matt's side tightly. he hugged you back, matching your happiness. "still can't believe you spent $200 on it though."

"one hundred precent worth it and you know it" you smiled, proudly looking at your finally fully furnished living room area.

...

the soft sound of your spotify playlist coming from the TV filled the room, along with conversation between you and your friends. you were laying between matt's legs on the couch, the back of your head resting against his chest while talking to nick and chris. "i mean, it's technically the same fuckin' thing, no?" matt huffed, shrugging. "kid, no. a TV show takes so much more effort to like, get trough." chris spoke. "not really to be honest. if you fuck with it it's not gonna feel as dragging like it would when you don't, obviously."

"nah but still, i'd rather just watch a movie than dedicate a whole day to grinding episodes. like you fully plan your day out around watching a whole season of a TV show" chris argued.

you and nick both exchanged looks, trying to hold your laughter at the meaningless conversation between the other two. the argument about what's better to watch kept going on for a little while longer until it eventually died down.

for the late evening, all of you decided on doordashing some food, eating it while watching a movie. when the movie finished, everyone got up, matt tapped your shoulders that his hands were rested on, urging you to get up so he could too. you got up, stretching, matt matched your movements. "i'll probably be out tomorrow but i can swing by later on." you let them know and they nodded, making their way to the front door of your apartment. hugging you goodbye, nick and chris made their way to the car. matt hugged you, "text me when you guys get home" you mumbled into his hoodie, hugging him back.

you said your goodbyes to matt for the night, closing the door and making your way into the living room, cleaning up the empty cartons of pizza and cans of sodas.

finished with your nightly routine, wiping off your makeup and doing some skincare, you got into bed, picking up your phone.

series link (everything you need to know)

taglist

@grace-sturnz @rcklessheavn @sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan @chrissturniolossidebitch

[familyagrestefanblog]

No, you know what? I AM upset at how Marinette in "Illustrhater" just put all of that on Alya again without giving her a real option to say "no", all while she once more leaves Chat Noir in the dust to find it out the worst possible way again that he isn't her real partner when he'll be forced to accept under the most painful circumstances that Ladybug didn't want him, too, to be able to contact her memory spirit when she's gone.

Marinette is an insanely inconsidered and self-serving "partner" for BOTH Chat Noir and Alya! No, I'm not okay with that. Fuck all that. Not only has she never actually grown since season 4, she is actively getting worse again in how little she ever thinks about other people.

I AM upset at Marinette using her guardian privilege to ignore the natural bonding and partnership needed between a Kwami and their holder just so she can feel better and in control. I don't give a DAMN that Alya spend alot of time with Marinette and Tikki since season 4, Marinette still has no business ordering Tikki to make a Kwagatama! And no, I don't care about your headcanon that it was Tikki's idea or she's on the same page as Marinette regarding Alya. That didn't happen on screen. YOU made that explanation up to deflect the problem.

And yes, I AM upset at Marinette just dismissing Trixx' objection because he wants to stay with Alya! Marinette got all the excuses and special treatments in the world in season 4 for sidelining Tikki more and more and literally giving no SHIT about Plagg beyond her getting validation, because she's "such a caring guardian who's putting so much on herself to finally treat the Kwamis with love"

And now not only did she dismiss Barkk in the London special when Barkk wanted to hold Nathalie accountable for helping Gabriel and the harm she caused the KWAMIS by keeping them locked up,

not only did she keep a clearly worried Plagg from returning to his beloved chosen for at least several days (which also lead to Cerise just needing to take both Miraculous from ONE person. This was long established as reason why one person shouldn't have both the Ladybug AND the Black Cat!)

No, now she's dismissing Trixx, too, entirely when he dared to ask for his bond with Alya to matter more than Marinette's need to get every easy and fast solution she thinks of first!

Where is that caring Guardian Marinette got all excuses and special treatments in the world for being? She ain't on screen! Marinette just didn't give a shit about Trixx' feelings or what Alya thinks of it. She just decides that once she's gone Alya will be the Ladybug, Guardian, and team leader, and Trixx will be given to someone else.

No one has a saying in anything. No one matters. No one's feelings, experiences, and desires matter. In Marinette's writing, only MARINETTE matters.

She won't listen. She won't consider. SHE decides what everyone feels and SHE decides what everyone is and will be.

No growth, no attempts at trying to improve. She's just written to take for herself whatever she wants and then cries and screams how misunderstood and tormented she is when reality dares to clash with her inconsideration for the third season in a row!

Yes, I AM upset!

[lilarylrosie]

Just a Slice [Fanfic]

- Author's Notes: This story is for MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY!  Only sexual warnings will be added for chapters in the future as this will not be the only chapter. Will eventually be posted on AO3! Also the Doctor is giving me brainrot to the point where I need to write this fic because he gives off daddy vibes /j

                                          ooOOOOoo

Heaving with heavy breaths that escaped your chest, you leaned back on the nasty metal door that had slid shut behind you. A wash of exhaustion and hunger passed over you like a tidal wave, quickly clearing your mind, you look to examine the room around you and then your gaze landed on the toy stuck.. In a glass case? A feeling of dread crashed in your gut, as expected Sawyer's voice, or the 'The Doctor's' mocking but even smooth voice came to life in the room.

"Do you believe you're taking the moral high road.. Is that what you believe?" Letting out a shuddering breath, you securely kept your grab pack close. You could care less about 'morality' at this time. There wasn't much you could say but instead you let Sawyer continue his monologue. "Dear friend, let me illuminate for you an obvious truth: Survival necessities are choices. Difficult choices. This one is yours." Your eyes eventually landed on the little toy that was trapped in the glass case and your gut twisted once more getting a feeling you knew exactly what The Doctor is implying.

"If you want to leave this room, it'll come at a cost. It's this little life, or yours. You know what you have to do. Just the slightest pull, and you snuff whatever minuscule bit of light still flickers behind those faraway eyes."

"No.. no.. I wouldn't, ...but I need to.. what choice do I have" you mumble beneath your breath as stress came over once more, most of these toys deaths weren't your fault because they attacked you first and you were simply exercising your self-defense. You would never willingly kill a toy. However, The Doctor ignored you and kept talking; "That brutish glob of clay would do it." His voice ultimately held a disdain for them in the even tone, "Poppy would do it."

"It's YOUR mission. The door will open. Or, is maintaining your veil of your 'morality' more important? Act quickly."

Sensing it go quiet once more, you let out another shuddering breath and glanced to the toy, you were unwilling to end it life. Was there even a child behind that anymore? Wouldn't you be doing it a favor by putting it out of its misery? Biting your lip, your gaze traveled around the room looking for some kind of exit to escape. Hearing the banging behind you, you knew you didn't have a lot of time. Letting your gaze land on the plug, out of desperation you grabbed it with your grabpack and raising a hand to wipe the forming beads of sweat away, you aimed your pack to shoot and plug in the plug – closing your eyes with a slight turn of your head to the electricity going off and hearing the creature's pitiful cries before death.

You've killed this toy.. but was it any different from before?

"Strange, I'd expected more mortality.. so you DO understand. Good, good. Come now, let's see which of us beasts of burden destiny favors, hm?"

Feeling sickened, you gritted your teeth and turned around to see the door open. It was your chance now to go and confront that monster. You went ahead to enter the next room, and cringed at the creepy but dark and empty room; being completely immersed in the fog. It made it hard to see. Slowly being careful and stepping onto the platform, you stiffen up again to hearing the voice speak up again as the platform started to rise. "Do you hear it like I do? Off somewhere. Somewhere far. Beyond this place. Any place. A bell."

"A bell?" You questioned with a skeptical look, "What are you talking about?" You're starting to believe this man is just playing with you. You don't hear anything instead The Doctor ignores you and keeps talking. "For whom does it toll, you think? A wounded little pup lifts it head beneath the shadow of its master's raised foot. For whom does it toll?" A sinister laugh followed and soon after you reached the top.

Your nerves felt like they were on fire, the hairs on your skin were sticking up, unlike the others you've faced, there feelings screaming at you to run away. "No no. I need to do this," you reassure yourself with a fierce pounding heart, "I faced all those other experiments and Catnap, what makes this any different?" Taking a deep breath and grateful for your own pep talk, you firmly held onto your grabpack and continued forward. Creeped out by the amount of TV's, you already feel like you're being watched.

"I'm not the one killing him, he's already attacking me and hurt my friends or at least I think they are.." You justified to yourself on his oncoming demise. With your feet clanking against the metal floor it was simply impossible to stay quiet in this area, approaching both metal doors with newfound bravery, the doors seemed to open on their own and the sight somewhat confused you. A giant machine?

"Not even the ground beneath your feet."

You didn't get anytime to look further on what Sawyer was until you flinched to something grabbing you and you frantically turned your head to see some kind of endo-TV grab you to then throw on you on the ground, a little grunt escaped and you stared it appalled. It gave little mocking 'hello' sign with its fingers until the latch opened up beneath you and you fell with a scream, unfortunately, you ended up hitting your head against the metal floor and stars invaded your vision. Your vision blurred and darkness slowly overcame you with painful throbbing.

"Oh what a disappointment. You will be put to good use." Was all you heard of The Doctor's voice until unconsciousness took over. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Drowsily, your eyes cracked open and you tried to move.. You couldn't move. With wrists strapped to the bed, your legs were securely strapped as well and your heart paced with anxiety. It felt cold, you then notice your clothes were changed into just a dirty old hospital gown. Struggling, your eyes darted around.

"Keep struggling. All it does it make me itch to explore you more germ." The mocking but even voice spoke out smoothly.

Cranking your head, it felt as if you were hearing the voice all around, but you froze at the sight of the The Doctor. The large metallic TV you've seen earlier was there, with a cloak covering most of all it, it was present, but the only thing that kept your attention on it was the massive eye staring right back at you. "What's wrong with you, is this about wanting to use me!." You've tried to defend yourself and it emanated a cruel laugh from The Doctor who was observing a scalpel it was holding in its grasp. "My dear. This isn't about me, this is about you."

Walking closer with its heavy footsteps, your heart paced when cool metallic fingers were placed on your stomach. "It's been SO long since I've had another human down here, Dr. White may have never been able to last, but I wonder how long you'll last."

Trailing its hard metal hand to your neck to then put pressure on your windpipe, you started to choke with tears slowly forming at the edges of your eyes. It felt as if all the air was leaving your lungs, and your brain screamed for oxygen. The hand squeezed harder and your will to stay awake started to wither away, your lungs desperately begged for air. Is this how were going to die? A faraway look appeared, and black edges appeared in your sight, but then, you suddenly gasped in a whole bunch of air when Sawyer let go of your neck. Coughing and breathing fast, your tears slid down your cheeks as the color returned to your ashen pale skin as he laughed once more.

"I forgot how most humans can't go without oxygen, I wished to test that theory once more . I'll be taking notes."

You were hit with a pang of deja'vu to those last words as you kept gasping out for more air to consume greedily. "W-Why," you've mustered out weakly. "Why didn't you kill me?"

"I've expected you to be smart about this. I told you it's about you, your use will be put to my use. The Prototype could care less about what I do to you." Feeling your heartbeat speed up, The Doctor lowered the scalpel and you struggled with a scared look. "Please, please don't!" you begged, afraid of dying. Ignoring the human's whining, Sawyer started to slice your thigh and you writhed in pain with a cry keeping in whimpers. Blood started to leak out, and you screamed when he dug in further in with a jerk the pain that blared through your body forced a pained scream. "STOP!"

"Hmm the subject is strong. Aside from its whining I need more than just a few samples." Using his other hand, he lowered the vial and it started to fill up with your warm blood. The pain blossomed in your body, and you shook. With fat tears sliding down, The Doctor seemed to like your reactions to the pain, you didn't doubt that The Doctor is enjoying this but you didn't care as the pain intense to think about it.. Taking out the tool with another jerk which had you cry out, he raised the vial and ignored the blood pooling beside you.

"This shall do. I can't wait to make into something that will be extraordinary." ----------------------------------------------- Next Chapter

[bluxb3rry]

❝𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊!❞↳෴੭˚ ༘♡·˚₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 💜

Charles Leclerc x Male Reader

Hey beautiful people, I'm back. For the people who follow me for stray kids, this is going to be very random. But F1 has me by the neck like a dog and so I wrote this.

There will be more Stray kids! That never stops.

Okay, some angst as a comeback, I hope you like it

(You're lucky I heard Madison Beer at the end, Mon Laferte was the inspiration for this whole one shot except the "happy" ending.)

As always, english is not my first language!

𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝑀𝑜𝓃 𝐿𝒶𝒻𝑒𝓇𝓉𝑒 - 𝒯𝓊 𝐹𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒶 𝒹𝑒 𝒬𝓊𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓇

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

Love is complicated in a world where the image is important, how do you act and who do you interact with it's the most valuable thing beyond your achievements. But love can win anything, breaking the rules that weren't written, becoming the most important thing between you and your lover

At least thats what some people think, people that dreams with open eyes and thinks that they can act whoever they want because they are in love, people like you. He told you, you tried to ignore it, because you though that he will risk everything to be able to tell you "i love you" in front of the cameras, that he would kiss you in those moments where the light of the cameras makes you blind. That the world would stop to be so important because you were together

Yet, you were there, away from the others, isolated. You couldn't even talk to him in front of his friends, people that already knew about you and him. But you were hidden, you can't be by his side "It's better that people do not misunderstood it" Misunderstand what exactly? Your love for him? How much you wished to kiss him after he wins a race?

-Hey, everything alright?-

You looked at your side when you heard his friends voice, Carlos, Charles's mate. One of the friends that knew about you two, mainly because of you and your trust for him. You could tell him things, thoughts, that you couldn't tell to Charles, wich was most of the time.

-Yeah-you whispered and then smiled at him-congratulations Carlos-you hugged him

That interaction made you be conscious about the world around you, the cheering, screams from fans, Monza GP. All the noises inside the garage and outsime of itself.

-Yeah well, its not a lot compared to him--he talked speaking louder, whispers aren't necessary when you can't hear your own voice--you should be hugging him

You separated, sighing a bit, then looking at Charles again--We decided not to, we couldn't risk it and be way to comfy in front of the cameras

-Decided? Both of you?--asked disbelievingly--or he just told you and you followed him

-Carlos-

-No Carlos Nada--his tone was angrier--this is one of the most important wins of Ferrari, wich he won, and you were his support every single time he felt bad, two years being with him and you cant hug him or something similar--he talked punching the tip of his finger in your chest--He should pass all his "fear" through his ass

-Let's not talk about that here--you said, almost begged--this is the best for us, i don't want to make him do anything

-But he makes you do everything that he wants-

You were gonna keep fighting, deny everything that the spanish was telling you, but the air left you lung the moment you saw him hugging another girl and kissing her. You knew who she was, a girlfriend that they put him with, so they wouldn't think about you guys last "accident" (you just kissed him in the check, once, and you grabbed his hand) They weren't together, but you couldn't control the pain in your chest, the lump in your throat and the tears apearing in your eyes.

-Hijo de puta-

You didn't even tried saying anything, you just leave, hearing Carlos calling you. But you had to leave now, you couldn't see them, you couldn't act that you were okay with this, not anymore.

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

You ignored everything and everyone, feeling the tears slowly falling from you eyes, making your sight cloudy. You tried to control you breathing, but everytime you packed something you felt more choked sobs trying to fall from your mouth.

You didn't know were to go, but you were tired of everything. After packing things that you though were important, you took a sit in te bed, try and failing to calm yourself just so you could know what to do.

In your state you didn't heard your phone, missing calls from Charles, ignoring the messages. You tried to ignore everything till you heard the door opening and closing, sighing knowing whats was about to happen.

-Amore?-

You looked at him, tears in your eyes. You could see some panic in his eyes, looking at you and at the suitcase. You could see his own eyes crystallizing, making everything more difficult.

-Carlos told me you left, he cursed at me a bit even but--he walked closer to you--What are you doing?

-Im tired Charles--you answered, hiding your face--tired of everything

-What are you talking about--he was beside you now, sitting with you--Amore, whatever your thinking about you can talk to me, we can solve it

-Solve it?--you took your hands of your face--I want for you to kiss me Charles!, after you win i want you to kiss your fucking boyfriend!-

-Tesoro...-

-No, nothing about Tesoro--you stood up and walked away from him--all the time im by your side, supporting you, giving you everything from me so you could know that you weren't alone in this sport, i torelated comments about other people, i torelated seeing you with other people, but kissing others? i can't tolerate that Charles!

-You think i enjoy it?--he stood up as well--Kissing her? Saying that im happy with her knowing that you are right behind me? No i don't, i hate all of this but i can't risk it, i can't risk this

-I risked everything for you, my Dad left me the moment he knew i was Gay, Mom only talks to me when its important--you voice was louder, trying to say everything you could without losing your head--i risked my future for you Charles, because i loved you more than anything--you got closer to him--But you won't even look at me, when you are in that podium, you look anywhere else but me, not even when we are alone Charles! But of course your fast the moment they give you some random bitch to kiss, huh? Would you fuck her too, so "no one suspects"?

-Don't fucking say that, i love you Amore Mio, you are everything for me, you are the most important thing in my life-

-But you won't even show it, huh?--you laughed dryly, and then turned around him

You were about to reach your suitcase, when a hand grabbed your arm and pushed you to the wall. You were close to insult him, till his lips touched yours, your hands when to his shoulders, with the idea to take him off you, but you didn't tried.

The kiss wasn't soft, no, it was rough, every emotion showed in one singular action. Your hands went to his hair, tugging it, hearing his groan in your mouth. His hands touched you hips, putting his hands under your shirt. Then he separate from the kiss, thouching your forehead with his.

-Im sorry...--he whispered-you are important, more than everything, i promise i will tell everyone, tomorrow if i have to-

You sighed-how can it trust you now?

-Because i love you, you are everything to me, i can't lose you-he kissed you again more softer this time, his hands touching all your abdomen and yours lifting his shirt.

You were a fool in love, and you were gonna always love him, even if it hurts you. But maybe now, everything could change.

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

[vanilladollette]

Pleaseee any male x gyeong seok  no one has wrote anything for him with a M reader

Waiting For You

Pairing: Park Gyeong-Seok x Male reader Summary: Park Gyeong-seok, a devoted single father, never considered dating again until he met you, his daughter's daycare teacher, whose kindness and patience gradually broke down his walls, leading him to finally ask you out—only for you to reveal you'd been waiting for him to do so all along.

Word Count: 1.3k

Author's note: none

Gyeong-seok never imagined himself dating again. It wasn't just that he had no time—though, between work and raising his daughter, time was a rare luxury—but because he had convinced himself that no one would want to date a man with a child from a previous relationship.

Not that he blamed them. Dating a single father was a commitment beyond romance; it required patience, understanding, and a willingness to embrace a child who wasn't theirs. Even if he did meet someone who could look past that, would they ever love Na-yeon as much as he did? Could he trust them to stay? To be someone she could rely on?

It was easier not to try. Easier to focus on work and his daughter, to push aside loneliness and tell himself he was fine. He had Na-yeon. That was enough.

At least, that’s what he believed—until he met you.

The decision to enroll Na-yeon in daycare had not been an easy one.

Gyeong-seok had done everything he could to balance work and fatherhood, but there came a point where he had to admit that it was becoming too difficult. Bringing Na-yeon to work had been an option for a while, but it became clear that watching over her while managing his duties was stretching him thin. He needed help.

That was how he found himself sitting in front of a desk, filling out forms with tired but steady hands, occasionally glancing at his daughter as she clung to his arm. She was still young—barely four—but observant. She could tell something was changing, and she wasn't sure how to feel about it.

“You’ll be coming here during the day from now on,” Gyeong-seok explained softly, turning to her once the paperwork was done. He smoothed a hand over her dark hair, his heart twisting at the slight pout on her lips. “Appa has to work, but I’ll come pick you up every afternoon, okay? You’ll make lots of friends here.”

Na-yeon pressed her lips together, clearly considering his words before looking around. “Are you staying, too?”

“No, sweetheart.” He exhaled quietly. “But I’ll always come back.”

She didn’t look convinced.

That was when you entered the room.

“Na-yeon, right?” you said with a warm smile, crouching down to her level. “I heard we have a new friend joining us today.”

Na-yeon eyed you warily at first, her small hand tightening around Gyeong-seok’s sleeve. She didn’t trust easily, not when it came to new environments, but you had a certain warmth about you.

“You know,” you added conspiratorially, “I happen to know where we keep the best toys. And the snacks. But I only share them with my favorite people.”

That earned you a reluctant stare, then a small, curious glance toward her father. Gyeong-seok gave her an encouraging nod.

“You can go with him, sweetheart. It’s okay.”

After another moment’s hesitation, she slowly let go of his sleeve, allowing you to take her hand instead.

That was the first time Gyeong-seok noticed the way his heart beat just a little differently when he looked at you.

It became routine.

Every morning, Gyeong-seok would drop Na-yeon off before heading to work, and every afternoon, he would return to pick her up.

At first, it was simple exchanges—short greetings, polite smiles. But as time passed, the conversations became longer. Some mornings, when Na-yeon was feeling extra clingy, you would help soothe her with a gentle voice and a distraction. Other times, when Gyeong-seok arrived in the afternoons, you would tell him little stories about her day, how she had made a new friend or insisted on only eating the strawberry-flavored snacks.

It didn’t take long for him to realize that you genuinely cared. Not just as part of your job, but because you truly enjoyed working with children.

And—though he wouldn’t admit it out loud—he found himself looking forward to those moments with you.

Sometimes, work kept him late.

He hated those days the most—knowing that Na-yeon would be waiting for him, that she might feel abandoned even though he tried his best. But every time he arrived late, breathless with apology, he always found you waiting with her.

You never left her alone.

“She’s been fine,” you would assure him with an easy smile, even as Na-yeon clung to his leg and buried her face into his pants. “We read some extra stories while we waited.”

It should have been a simple kindness, but to Gyeong-seok, it meant more than he could say.

Maybe that was when his resolve started to crack.

Maybe that was when he started to hope.

Gyeong-seok wasn’t sure when it started—when his thoughts began lingering on you even after he left the daycare, when he started noticing the way his heart felt lighter in your presence.

It could have been the way you were always patient with Na-yeon, never treating her like a burden. Or the way you smiled when you talked about her progress, proud as if she were your own. Maybe it was the way you waited for them on the days he was late, never complaining, never making him feel worse than he already did.

Whatever it was, it snuck up on him.

And now, he was standing outside the daycare with his hands stuffed into his pockets, trying to ignore the nervous thrum in his chest.

Today, for once, he wasn’t late. He had made sure to wrap up his work early, determined to pick Na-yeon up on time. But even as he walked inside and found her coloring with the other children, his focus was on you.

This was ridiculous. He was a grown man—a father. He wasn’t some shy teenager trying to ask his crush out for the first time. And yet, as you approached with your usual warm smile, he found himself hesitating.

“She had a good day,” you told him, nodding toward Na-yeon. “She was a little quiet this morning, but she opened up after storytime. Oh, and she insisted I save her an extra strawberry snack for tomorrow.”

Gyeong-seok huffed a soft laugh. “That sounds like her.”

You chuckled, then glanced at him, head tilting slightly. “You okay? You look like you have something on your mind.”

Damn. You were too perceptive.

Gyeong-seok inhaled sharply, glancing away for a moment before finally gathering his courage. “I was wondering… if you’d like to get dinner sometime. With me.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then, your eyebrows lifted slightly, surprise flickering across your face before your lips curled into a small, knowing smile. “Oh?”

He exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I know I’m not exactly… the most ideal person to ask out. I have a daughter. My schedule is unpredictable. I probably won’t be the easiest person to date. But I—I like you.” His voice was steady despite the nervous edge in his stomach. “And I’d like to take you out, if you’re interested.”

For a moment, you just looked at him, your expression unreadable.

Then, you grinned.

“You know, I was starting to think you’d never ask.”

Gyeong-seok blinked. “You—what?”

You shrugged, amusement dancing in your eyes. “I like you too, Gyeong-seok. And yeah, I’d love to have dinner with you.”

His heart did something strange in his chest—something warm, something unfamiliar. Relief mixed with something dangerously close to happiness.

Na-yeon suddenly tugged at his sleeve, looking up at him with curious eyes. “Appa, can we have strawberries for dinner?”

You laughed, and the sound was enough to make his decision feel even more right.

“Well,” you said, glancing between the two of them, “how about we start with dinner first, and then maybe—just maybe—I’ll tell you where to get the best strawberry desserts in the city?”

Na-yeon’s eyes widened with excitement. “Really? Appa, can we?”

Gyeong-seok chuckled, finally allowing himself to smile fully. He met your gaze, something unspoken passing between you.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “That sounds perfect.”

[blondielockscherry]

bunny!reader x loser rafe… ^ྀི

mdni 💗 my first time writing..

bunny aka you was the most popular girl in school with every boy obsessed with her. it wasn’t uncommon for you to have girls hate you , it was pure jealousy because in everyones eyes bunny did no wrong her big doe eyes sold you as innocent and pretty. your pretty pink, frilly babydoll dresses made her look easy and approachable but you was different. bunny had a sharp tongue and a attitude your standers where very much high.

it was chemistry class bunny’s weak subject all what the teacher said felt nonsense to you it came in one ear and out the other. you sat in the class with your small little pink dress on overdressed for the low budget high school but you didn’t care. you sat on the table confused, chin resting on your hand. to your oblivion sat just a few seats across her a pathetic virgin called rafe cameron was cumming in his pants to the sight of you. he stared at your perfect lips and pretty perky tits he would just do anything even touch your hair. he kept around a little sample of you staple expensive perfume just to even know what you smelt like. it was more than just a crush more of a obsession.

you chewed on the end of her pencil as rafe watched her from afar he licked his lips nervously as his cock throbbed through his shorts. the way you lips parted around the pencil was driving him crazy. it took a whole lot of courage for rafe to finally speak to her after his pervvy obsession since 8th grade. he had just bought his new glasses yesterday. they where round and sleek but he felt happy and confident. confident enough to speak to the most popular girl ever.

as bunny was assigned to give out the test papers. as you walked around the room rafe was beyond nervous. he slid up his sleek glasses up his nose adjusting them. rafe gulped hard as you approached his desk, your perfume intoxicating. you places the perfectly graded paper on his desk.

“hm A+? smart.” you say to yourself not expecting a response. rafe felt his cheeks flush bright red, stammering incoherently as he clutched the test sheet to his chest. "Uh... thanks... I... I just studied really hard..." His eyes flickered down to her lips briefly before darting back up to meet her gaze.

“yeah.” was your reply. you didn’t expect or take his stutters and sentence to heart your reply was just a shrug off. you didn’t really notice rafe much in class he didn’t speak but he definitely worked hard.

“i kinda just study a lot i like it.” he says smiling softly at her. god he was just pathetic really embarrassing him self in front of her.

“no shit sherlock” was your reply. he giggled softly before taking a drink from his water bottle. she didn’t expect another reply to him. “do you need help.” he just blurted it out. he needed to keep the conversation going he couldn’t stop with the attention he was getting from her.

“with?” was your dumb reply, obviously you knew it was with school. rafes heart raced as he tried to think of something, anything, he could ask her for help with. "Um, with... with anything, I guess. Just... just sit with me for a bit?" He bit his lip, hoping she wouldn't say no. you looked down at him. he was lowkey hot, big biceps, nice eyes, but 10 pound of gel in his hair but he was none the less. but god how pathetic he was pulled you in. he wanted you to sit with him for bit? the thought made you giggle but how could you decline? flirting with boys was your job.

“why not.” you sighed before flipping your perfect shiny hair and sitting down next to the absolute loser. you was doing anything to make this boring class go any faster. “so what do you like to do?” rafes words sounded genuine like he actually wanted to know.

“party i guess” your tone was monologue, it wasn’t a lie you liked to party and drink and flirt.

"Parties? With your friends?" He nodded, trying to picture it. "I've never really been to a party before... I mean, I've heard about them, but..." He trailed off, his gaze drifting back to the sketch. he stopped himself before he could ask if he could come he didn’t want to anyway he knew he would be bullied. in all honestly bunny wasn’t fully even listening to what this nerd had to say.

"Do you, um... drink?" Jesus, what was he doing? Trying to seem cool? “I mean, not that you should or anything..." He could feel his palms getting sweaty.

“yea i drink and god your soo fucking pathetic stupid virgin loser!” he was so pathetic it pissed you the fuck off. how could anyone be so anti social and weird it made bunny wet. as. fuck.

rafes heart stopped at her words, face burning with shame and humiliation. He felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, but he blinked them back. "I-I'm not a virgin!" He lied desperately, voice cracking.

“don’t be silly… uh..” you trailed off.

“rafe” he corrected, wiping away tears that didn’t fall yet.

“don’t be silly rafe! your cleary a virgin you hasn’t had there dick sucked but i can change that.. for you let me help you…” your voice was seductive.

Rafe's eyes bugged out in shock at her crude offer, his brain short-circuiting.“W-what? You'd... you'd do that for me?" He licked his suddenly dry lips, heart pounding wildly. "I mean, y-yeah, sure. I'd like that” he says wiping away his tears once again. you didn’t always suck random boys dicks from your school but rafe was different he needed this bad and he was so far from sex you almost felt bad for the boy.

“yeah i’ll do it cuz i feel bad for a weirdo like you now what’s your instagram or snap?” you didn’t want his number, only something you could erase and block easy after.

“i don’t have social media.” he said looking down at his feet. typical. his voice was a low whisper scared she would take back her offer.

“I just... I don't really see the point. I'm not really the social type, you know i’m not aloud it too” he fumbled for his phone, pulling up his contacts screen to find his number. "Here, just text me and we can, uh, arrange something.” at this point you prayed his dick was big you watched has he wrote down his digits on a small piece of paper for you to text and call later. luckily, the bell rung as you walked out of the boring class you felt embarrassed for talking with rafe. was there any point in even texting him after this?

my first time writing should i do pt2 it’s poorly written cuz it’s 7am all nighter loll

[love44lew]

day 4: draft

彡drivers anyone x reader

彡genre poem (??)

彡summary love & marriage

၊၊||၊ i think i originally wrote this for lewis and then scrapped and when i recently read it again i didnt wanna touch it and mess it up😓၊၊||၊

彡warnings none !!

———-

was it the warmth it brought you to see his face after the cold grasp of a nightmare? or maybe it was the way the moon perfectly cracking through the blinds to illuminate upon its favorite angel. your feelings of calmness shifted into confusion and frustration as you began to question why it must be him? perfection inside and out. beauty that can only be bestowed upon a woman and a demeanor that can only be described by using words one would only use to descript one of a gods. the way his eyelashes rested perfectly, each strand almost orchestrated to sit in such a way. his plump and pink lips, swollen from the slumber, sat in a rested frown. his cheeks were rounded, yet defined, maintaining that ideal tinge of desired masculinity.

the shine peeking into the room only aiding the already natural glow that his perfect skin produced. his aura simply recharging in its state of solemn rest, to once again blind the sun with its radiance once done. the sun that left a harsh buoyant glow, fell into the soft moon, where it feels at home. in your admiration, you prayed he wouldn’t open his eyes anytime soon, for first he would spot you staring at him in his sleep like a weirdo and two the sight of those loving eyes. ones that he was born with for the love he had to give to the world was so great, it was expressed on his face.

ways he viewed the world was different from the way his eyes lie on you. for you—his gaze was lingering, felt just like his kisses. to be looked at by him in this way meant he has claimed you, and you have claimed him. the look a man can only give when he’s ready to give it all up.

you wonder if he might propose soon. he hasn’t done anything obvious or super out of ordinary to think so, but you know its heavy on his mind. sometimes when your fingers intertwine, he pulls your hand up and brushes his lips specifically on your ring finger. you dont mind the thought of marrying him. marriage was a topic you much dreaded growing up. your parents always reminding you that only the best women have a ring on their finger. for them, marriage was always portrayed as an auction and you were to be sold off to the highest bidder.

for once in your life, you wanted to at least choose your favorite one.

sometimes it feels that way with him, even though he never forces that onto you. you always hated the idea of marriage, but you weren’t opposed to marrying him if its what he wanted. he never made you feel like you had to do anything for him, he didnt even make it seem like you have to love him. for that, you do. he’s your freedom. and within these four walls, on this bed in the deep of the night, you felt free.

you quickly wipe a tear away before it dares to drop down onto his face. but before you knew it, the tears kept showering down your cheeks, your little sniffles and restrained sobs filling the room. you dont want to wake him and scare him. hes always worried about you that sometimes it distracts him from his own perfection. the perfection he’d sacrifice any day for your happiness, little does he know that that is what makes you happy. in his light, youre able to soak in the warmth radiating from it. it shields you from the cold of your own burdens.

poor baby, you’ve never known what its like to be talentless, have no purpose. the world will always need you.

you cry because you love him. you cry because he loves you, and you dont deserve it. you’ll never live up to him, he is way beyond your league. he has an entire life ahead of him, and you have being his wife ahead of you.

[scary-monsters]

▹broken boy | a diego brando character study | ch.1 | 2.7k ▹synopsis: Britain's beloved genius jockey. Swimming in money, trophies, lovers, recognition… and yet, he starves for more. With a shady past, dangerously unclear motives, and an explosive ego to boot, it's no wonder his inner circle consists of only himself and those that can benefit him. (Canon leaves out a lot. This fic begins with ten-year-old Diego and aims to fill in the gaps throughout the rest of his life while still remaining true to his core character.) [ read on ao3 instead ]

For young Diego Brando, the closest feeling to “home” is found at the stables. It’s in the creaking of old doors, the crunch of hay underneath his worn boots, the familiar snorts and whinnies that echo throughout the wooden fixtures as soon as he steps near. These days, he can tell them all apart. Diego knows the horses at this farm well enough that they might as well be his brothers and sisters. And, well… in a way, he supposes they’re the closest he’ll ever get to having any sort of family again.

It’s early on a Tuesday; Diego’s just barely beat the sunrise, already dressed in his work attire and headed for the very stables he finds such solace in. Maybe he’s a lucky boy, given that he’s had the opportunity to work with horses for the past five years in order to earn his keep around here. It’s a “dream job” of sorts, he supposes. At any rate, his interaction with the people on this farm tends to stay at a minimum. His job is quite simple: tend to the horses every single day. Feed them, groom them, clean their enclosures. This, of course, is bare bones, but Diego fancies himself an overachiever. He knows the horses by name, understands all their habits and quirks and what makes them tick, so taking each of them around the farm for regular exercise is easy (and enjoyable) work.

With a squeak, the stable doors open easily for him, the air fills his nose with the familiar and comfortable smell of hay. Diego can already hear at least one of his beloved companions stirring in an enclosure just to his left. Cursed with less than average height, he’s unable to clearly see, but he already knows it’s one of the dappled grays, an elderly mare named Tilly.

“Morning, girl,” Diego whispers, approaching the enclosure’s door and giving it a gentle pat. He makes a mental note to take her out for a ride later; it’s been a few days, but he tries to find balance between keeping Tilly active without overexerting her.

Diego’s first attempt at riding a horse was less than successful, of course. He’d just turned five, but his interest in horses had been clear since his infancy. Nervous as she was, Diego’s mother was never the type to discourage his desire to try something new, constantly instilling in him her pride in his drive and intelligence from such a young age. However, her instinct told her to deny him this one request. Her son was much too young, and she was fiercely protective.

Perhaps it was the rough conditions he’d been raised in, but Diego seemed to mature at a much faster pace than the other children on the farm. He’d had no choice, really. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, this came with impenetrable stubbornness. Diego respected his mother more than anyone else, but beyond that he wanted nothing more than to make her proud. And so, while she’d been distracted with her own work, he’d attempted to mount one of the more aggressive stallions.

As strong as his innate ability to connect with horses always has been, Diego’s first attempt had ended in him slipping off and tumbling to the ground, though thankfully with no critical injuries. His mother was fuming, scolding him and demanding he keep his distance from the animals for several days. Diego had been heartbroken, but beyond that he’d been embarrassed. The incident left him with a huge blow to his steadily blossoming confidence.

Nevertheless, this only made Diego’s drive much stronger. If there’s anything Diego unquestionably is, it’s persistent. Even more so these days, and it’s what his mother always encouraged him to be, anyway.

Diego gathers supplies from the corner of the stable; an old brush, a metal pick, a bucket, a few thick rope leads, and a rickety shovel. As he makes his way through the structure even more of his friends begin to stir, their heads popping up from behind stable doors and eyeing him expectantly. Diego leans on his shovel as his eyes dart from horse to horse, a grand total of seven in just this stable alone.

“Right then,” Diego states firmly, “we went from oldest to youngest yesterday, shall we switch it up today?”

Sensing no objections, Diego gives one strong nod and lugs his supplies over to the first enclosure on his right.

“Seems it’s your lucky day, Bolt.” The rusty metal latch of the stable door turns, another dappled gray waits inside, this one much younger than Tilly. In fact, he’s the youngest of several she’s birthed while living on this farm.

Diego approaches Bolt with as much gentleness as he does any of the other horses, yielding him the same trust he always receives. Beyond being in tune with horses and their quirks, he’s always had a knack for gaining their reliance almost immediately as well. Moments where he’s had to really prove himself to an animal have been few and far between, but it’s like his mother had said right before she’d passed: this is his innate talent.

With Bolt leashed securely to one of the wooden columns inside the structure, Diego sets to work cleaning up his living space. It’s not easy work, certainly not for a boy his age. Perhaps it’d be different if he were well fed and got regular, sufficient rest, but his living conditions on this farm have only gotten slightly better since his mother passed away four years ago.

Diego no longer sleeps on the barn floor, now he stays in the most run-down room of an inn just down the road from the farm. It’s dingy as it is, but his allowance will only grant him the lowest they have to offer. He continues to survive off daily portions of stew, but it’s not nearly enough to facilitate his growth at this rate. And, unfortunately, he’s always met with a tinge of humiliation when he has to stand in the very line where he’d seen his mother sacrifice her hands for him, only to make direct eye contact with the very same man who’d brought about the most traumatic moment of his life years ago.

The scrape of metal against the wooden floor breaks Diego out of his thoughts, almost like he’d instinctively pushed just a little harder. There’s no time for his mind to wander. The people of this farm will get what’s coming to them, eventually, someday. Diego has to believe it, it’s the one thing that keeps him waking up every single day.

Well, that and his horses. Diego lifts his eyes from the floor and glances over to Bolt, who’s watching him attentively and gently swishing his tail back and forth.

“Come now,” he tuts, chuckling softly to himself as he continues to shovel manure into a neat pile in the center of the enclosure. “Quite hard to do my job if you’re staring bullets through me.”

Bolt lightly shakes his head and snorts. He’s always had a bit more personality than some of the other horses, and Diego figures it may be thanks to his age. Bolt is only three, an age that causes the young boy to consider him something like a brother.

Diego leaves the stables for a moment to retrieve an old squeaky wheelbarrow from outside. He notices with contempt that some of the inhabitants of the small village are starting to go about their daily routines. Rage boils inside him for a moment, his hands clenching tightly against the handles.

Diego deeply inhales. Exhales. Reminds himself of his mother’s wise words.

Dignity. He cannot forget his dignity.

With that, he heads back inside, focusing on his daily tasks. The ache in his arms from shoveling manure and dirty hay is worthwhile in return for the pride he feels. And even though he must unfortunately traverse outside the safety of the stables to retrieve fresh water, he keeps his shoulders up, his head held high, ignoring the people around him.

Without question, Diego’s favorite part of his job is grooming the horses. Every single one of them remains calm under his touch, even as he scrapes at their hooves with a metal pick, albeit as gently as possible. By the time he’s reached the third stable, his hair sticks to his forehead with sweat. It’s not unusual for him to become fatigued partway through his day, but his focus remains on his companions. Before he knows it, he’s soared through caring for almost every horse inside the building.

Thankful that he’s saved his clear favorite for last, Diego eagerly unlatches Tilly’s enclosure and greets her with an encouraging click of his tongue. Hard of hearing at her old age, it takes her a moment to register his greeting, but as soon as she does she slowly rises to her feet.

“Hey, old girl,” Diego coos, extending his hand to carefully pet her muzzle, “fancy a ride this afternoon?”

Of course, as confident as he is in his ability to communicate with these animals, Diego can’t read their minds. But if he could, Tilly would easily be the most capable candidate. Maybe she doesn’t outwardly react, but Diego can sense she’s pleased with that suggestion. He won’t wear her out; he supposes a short walk around the village won’t be too strenuous.

Diego takes the most care with Tilly, offering her as much of his time as possible. Though he prefers not to dwell on it too much, he’s aware that she’s nearing the end of her life. Heart aching a bit at the thought, Diego chews at his lip as he brushes her beautifully spotted coat. A series of pats along her back act as an expression of his gratitude; if not for her, he’s unsure how he’d have gotten through his mother’s tragic passing.

Briefly overcome with emotion, he rests his cheek upon her side, closing his eyes for a moment. Diego isn’t sure how he’ll manage another round of loss, but at least in this instance it’ll be her time. Not like his mother. It wasn’t her time. She deserved to live a long, full life. It simply isn’t fair.

Diego’s eyes fly open and he proudly lifts his head once again.

Dignity. ---

Saddled up and fed, Tilly eagerly allows Diego to mount her. The young boy takes her reins in hand and steers her outside the stables. Balmy sunlight seems to almost restore her, causing her legs to move with a more lively energy. It has the same effect on Diego; his skin hungrily absorbs the bright rays, practically washing away the ache in his arms and legs. He feels at peace like this, astride his beloved horse, lifted above the people he passes by. It’s likely the closest he’ll ever feel to royalty.

Diego doesn’t stop for anyone. He ignores the eyes of the villagers; neighbors is a more accurate word, probably, but his resentment refuses to acknowledge them as such. None of them are worthy of nearing his beautiful steed, Tilly’s much too regal for their filthy hands. Stained with blood, the whole lot of them.

Spotting one of the farmhands just a few feet away, Diego makes a feeble attempt at steering Tilly in the opposite direction, but his fate’s been sealed. The man spots him, sneering in his direction and unfortunately approaching him.

“Brando,” he gruffly greets the boy, “you know that old thing should stay in the stables.”

Diego scoffs. The man may provide him with his work, but this doesn’t mean he deserves even a shred of his respect.

“Tilly has a name.” He lovingly brushes his hand along her neck. “Taking her for a stroll keeps her in shape. My job is to care for the horses, is it not?”

The farmhand narrows his eyes threateningly, but he doesn’t offer a rebuttal as far as Diego’s question. Of course he doesn’t; Diego’s one of the few who selflessly dedicates their time to caring for the animals.

“Her days are nearly up, boy. Wouldn’t it be more worthwhile to focus on the healthy horses?”

He’s undeserving of an answer, Diego decides. Lifting his head, he guides Tilly to turn around and head back for the stables. A short ride is all she can handle, sure, but he’s certain it’s been enough to lift her spirits. He won’t allow this sore excuse for a man to ruin that for her.

“How dare he speak to you like that,” Diego spits, gripping her reins even tighter, “I won’t stand for it. Mark my words, sweet girl.”

It’s a vague promise, but one that he intends to keep.

---

Diego awakens the following morning as he always does – sprawled out on a bedroll resting against the creaky wooden floor of a worn down inn. The sun has just started to peek over the horizon, and his eyes take a moment to adjust to the rays filtering through his small window. He sheds his too-small sleep clothes and clumsily changes into his dirty work attire, eager to start his day.

Ever since his encounter with that farmhand yesterday, he’s been filled with disdain. Diego decides he’ll spend extra time today doting on Tilly, he’ll make it clear to her that she’s worth just as much as any other horse on this farm. Maybe even more, given how much ridicule she’s been subject to.

As always, he’s up before many of the other residents. The silence makes the crunch of his shoes against gravel all the more audible, a welcome sound alongside the chirping of birds and whistling of a gentle breeze.

But something feels off. There’s a faint heaviness in the pit of his stomach, but he tries to quell the sensation. It’s simply the residual frustration from yesterday, he assures himself. As soon as he reaches the stables, he’s certain the comforting feeling of home will wash over him.

Diego approaches the small building, unlatches the old wooden door and steps inside. The sound of his companions reacting to his entrance causes a faint smile to grace his lips. He instinctively looks to his left, stepping towards Tilly’s enclosure and giving its entrance a gentle knock.

“Morning, old girl,” he greets her, just as he always does, but he’s met with silence.

The pit in his stomach grows heavier, larger. Diego curses his height and desperately presses his ear to the gate.

“Tilly?” He attempts to rouse her again.

The silence is deafening. With shaky hands he unlatches the gate and carefully swings it open.

Just as he feared, just as his instinct had told him, his beloved Tilly isn’t there. An empty stable, already tidied up and ready for another resident, is all that greets him.

For a moment, the quickly shrinking hopefulness within him insists that she must be out somewhere, that another farmhand has taken her for a stroll and graciously cleaned her living space. Given the sentiments he’d heard yesterday, he knows this realistically can’t be true. The memory of the farmhand's disgusting sneer and mocking tone echoes through Diego’s mind.

“Tilly,” Diego whispers, as if saying her name will bring her back to him.

It won’t. It can’t. Much in the same vein as his mother was taken from him, the people of this farm have once again spit on him, allowing someone dear to him to be wrongfully abandoned, tossed aside.

All he can do is fall to his knees, his hands grasping desperately at the hay underneath him. The warm sting of imminent tears begins in the corners of his eyes and as much as he’d like to fight it, he can’t. Stare fixed on the very spot that he’d seen Tilly just yesterday, his vision becomes blurry with moisture.

Diego wails, unrelenting. His body shakes with the force of his sobs, he pounds his fist against the wooden floor underneath him, aggressively rips at the too-clean hay surrounding him. It’s unfair, it wasn’t her time, and worst of all, he’d failed to protect her.

Inwardly, he apologizes to his mother, wherever her soul may have ended up. His grasp on dignity has faltered, his shame is immeasurable, and he childishly aches for her comforting embrace.

[justastraymoa]

Yet Unnamed

Chapter 7

Masterlist

🥳Y/n first date🥳

Warnings for Yet Unnamed: Kidnapping, cuffs, injuries, drugging by injection, mentions of needles, lots of swearing, kissing, fluff, angst, idiots in love all around, sharp weapons being thrown for fun, zombies.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest.

Your ‘Introducing our 9th member’ YouTube video was being filmed today.  You were in a room just a couple of doors down from where the boys were going to shoot their part of the video.  But while they were together, you would be all alone, and you were terrified.

“I can’t do this.”  You were nearly hyperventilating as you stood on the set.  Your knees felt like jelly in a bad way and your mind raced with all the worst outcomes.  You paced and fidgeted through hair and makeup, struggling to get into your outfit because your hands shook so badly.

Chan stayed with you for as long as he could.  He stopped your pacing and rubbed the tops of your arms from behind as you both looked at the set again.  “Yes, you can.  It’s just questions about you.  Be yourself.  Be honest.”  He replied.

The problem was you suddenly had no idea who you were.  What was your favorite color?  Are you a cat or dog person?  What did you fucking do for fun?  You had no fucking clue anymore.

You turned from the set.  Because this was going on YouTube you had planned most of it and you would also edit together the video later, but you had actively been avoiding thinking about your part in the actual footage.  You have never been on camera like this before.  Millions and millions of people would watch this video and judge everything you said and did.  They would ruthlessly rate how you looked down to every individual eyelash.  You would be MEMEd and GIFed within minutes of the video premiere.

“We can just release the photos and write a blurb about me on the caption.  They don’t need to know me.  They really don’t care.”  You argued nerves getting the better of you.

Chan smiled at you softly and kissed your forehead, completely understanding your panic.  “You can do this.  STAY will love learning about you.  And you have all of us in the studio down the hall if you need anything.  We will keep our phones on.  Call or text any of us, and we will be over in a flash.”  He promised.  He held your face in his hands, careful not to smear your makeup.

He took a deep, purposefully slow breath, waiting for you to follow his lead.  Then he took another, and another.  Until your nerves were at a more manageable level.  For now.

Chan stood just off camera as you waited in the comfy plush white chair.  Final checks and adjustments were being made.  This part was all director and camera work.  Your work came before and after this.

Before you knew it, they were calling Chris away to start their own checks, and he was waving one last time before leaving you alone.

You tucked your phone away with another deep breath.  You can do this.  You can do this.  You can do this.  You don’t have a choice.  You already committed.  You can do this.

The interviewer cleared their throat and began.  “So start with your name.”

You plastered on the practiced pleasant face you had been working on.  “My name is l/n f/n, and I am the 9th and final member of what is known as the Stray Kids soul group.

“How did you find out you were the 9th member?”

This was the whole reason we were doing this interview.  Hopefully to stop anyone from ever finding out you were kidnapped and drugged into this situation.  Not that you didn’t choose to and want to stay.  You didn’t regret your choice at all.  Not even once.  “It was actually JYP who found me using his incredible reach and resources.  He brought me to Korea as a surprise to Stray Kids.”  It physically hurt to say anything decent about that disgusting man, but it was a necessary evil.  And the story was close enough to the actual truth to be an easy lie to keep.

“Were their any issues in the beginning?  Beyond the language barrier?”

You blinked.  You had come up with and approved the questions, but the language barrier part was improvised by the interviewer and unexpected.  Though you had agreed to some improvisation to make it seem more like a conversation, it still caught you off guard.

“They do not know it, but I am fluent in Korean.  I learned from my grandfather at a young age.  He taught me everything about my culture and heritage.  It was very important to him.”

Now it was the interviewers turn to blink, stunned and thrown off.  They recovered quickly, though, and immediately switched languages.

“You never told them?”

You shrug with a playful smile.  “They never asked.  It was never an issue.  They all speak English well enough.  And I was curious about what they would say if they thought I didn’t know what they were saying.”

“Well they will certainly know now.  What do you think their reactions will be?”

“I think they will be shocked.  It will be fun to see their faces when they realize.”

You were relaxing into the interview now.  You had found the groove and were feeling good about how this was progressing.  The questions about your speaking Korean got you off track, but in a good and natural way.

Plus, it gave you an idea.  You would need to record their reactions later when they find out.  It would be entertaining and fun.  Something STAY would enjoy watching as much as you will.

Your interview ended first, which wasn’t shocking.  Their answers would take longer because there were more of them.  You still stayed off their set though, so they would feel free to answer honestly.  You would see their video later when you edit it anyways.

Instead, you doom scroll online and sent funny Stray Kids memes to the boys. Spamming them with themselves. You found it endlessly funny to find ones that make you crack up and share them with the boys. They had the best reactions.

But only a few memes in Lino appeared and dragged you gleefully to their set. It was the same color scheme as yours was. But instead of a single chair there was two overstuffed couches and a coffee table with some snacks. They had several pillow and fluffy blankets to use and get comfy with. It was meant to be a cozy, comfortable chat.

You werent supposed to be a part of their interview. This wasnt in the script. "You are missing the point of having seperate interviews." You point out as Lino set you firmly between him and Hyunjin.

Hyunjin thew an arm around your shoulders. "We missed you."

"And you were blowing up our phones with memes." Chan rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I love looking at Stray Kids memes! I'll always be a STAY at heart. Now your number one fan!" You wink at Chan teasingly, making red dust his cheeks.

"We are almost done anyways. We spilled all the dirt on you already." Seungmin munched on a snack from the coffee table.

"Oh good. I feel less guilty now about spilling the tea on you." You didnt actually spill any Stray Kids tea and you doubted they spilled dirt on you, this was all banter for the camera.

For the next fifteen minutes you cuddled on the couches, chatted, and played around. You honestly forgot that you were being filmed or that there were staff in the room watching you. It was just you and your soulmates chilling, like any night at home.

~

The next morning over breakfast you noticed Chan acting fidgety. He kept glancing over at you as you scrolled through the socials you hadn't deleted yet and caught up on emails.

They had already sent you the raw footage from the interviews to edit together. But you weren't going to work on it today. Today was your day off and you were going to try very hard not to work.

"What's on your mind, Channie?" You finally asked clunking your phone onto the tabletop.

Chan coughed, choking slightly on his food as he was called out. Bin smacked his back and Lino rolled his eyes. "Can't even eat properly. Getting old enough that we have to puree your food before giving it to you?" Lino teased. You kicked his chair and gave him a look to be nice. In response he stood and left the room, coffee in hand.

"Chan? Everything okay?" You ask again when he was back in control of himself.

He cleared his throat twice to buy himself some time. "We haven't really talked about it. Just kind of brushed by. But we were talking and decided to ask. You can always say no. We would respect that one hundred percent! And it wouldn't change anything if you did! Promise!" He started rambling. Words vomiting out of his mouth that made sense but had no context for you to understand what he was referring to.

You really had no idea what he was trying to get at. He hadn't asked a question for you to say yes or no to. He hadn't even alluded to a question. Did he expect you to be able to read his mind? Because while you were learning the little tells of your soulmates, you had yet to master reading their mind. That would take more time.

Bin cut Chan off eventually, ending his rant and clearing things up for you. "We wanted to know if you want to go on dates with us. Individually and group dates. Like we do with each other already."

"Yes. That." Chan agreed letting out a breath and giving Bin a thankful look full of relief.

You bit your lip to stop from smiling as you felt like being a gremlin and teasing the man a bit. "Yes what, Chan?"

"Ugh, really?" Chan immediately caught on to your teasing.

Hey, if you were going to be asked out on your first date from a soul mate, it was going to be done properly. There would only be one time that you got to go on your first date with Chan and it would be done right, damn it. Even if you had to tease it out of him. You smiled and waited patiently, sneaking a teasing glance at Bin.

Chan sucked his teeth. "Willyougoonadatewithme?" His mouth didn't even move as he spoke quickly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Say again?"

"You make me regret this already." Chan sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. Bin laughed. "Will you, Y/n, my sweet, sweet, loving and beautiful soul mate. Who likes me enough to at least put me out of my misery one way or another. Will you please go on a date with me?"

"I would love to go on a date with you, my handsome Channie." You answer trying to hold back the giggles from his over the top third attempt at asking you out.

"Really? You want to try and be romantic with us?" Chan seemed surprised by your acceptance.

"I mean yeah. I thought we were naturally heading that direction." It's not like you hadn't been affectionate with each other. It was little things right now. Cheek kisses, hugs, cuddles, sneaky head kisses. But affection nonetheless.

"Awesome! I'm first. We are going in age order to keep it fair and not cause arguments." He explained.

You shrugged. "I know nothing about that. You are the only one who has asked me out." If he didn't think you would make each and every one of them properly ask you out, he did not know you well enough yet. You were going to drag them through asking you out just like you had Chan. And you would savor each and every memory from it.

"Thats their problem. Can you go today? Because I kinda already have a date planned."

"You have the date planned already even though you didn't know if I would say yes or not?"

"Well I figured if you said no, I could still take you just to have fun together in a nonromantic date way." He shrugged.

You wanted to coo. He had thought a lot about this date. Thinking through all possibilities so you would be comfortable. It was very sweet of him.

"What should I wear?" You asked.

"Casual. Movable. I would suggest pants." He informed. "I'll pick you up in 2 hours?"

You paused. "We live together. Where are you picking me up from?"

"Your room, obviously! It's our first date, let me do it right, Y/n, gosh!"

"Okay sorry! Two hours, my room. Got it." You fake salute him with 2 casual fingers.

Bin snorted, quietly watching your whole exchange. "You are such a nerd." He pushed at Chan playfully.

"Maybe. But this nerd has a date!" Chan shouted that last bit throughout the apartment. He stood with a huge smile and put his dishes away before coming to give you a kiss on the cheek and leaving the room with a bounce in his step.

Just over 2 hours later you laughed in delight when you saw where he was taking you. "Axe throwing! I've never done it before!" You took his offered hand as he opened the car door for you, and you went to the front desk.

"I saw you watching videos a couple times and thought it looked fun. I've never done it either." Chan admitted. This was new for both of you then. It will be fun to learn it together. And most likely be really bad at it together.

The instructor led you to a 'lane' and demonstrated how to throw an axe and a star. There were several projected fames you could also play so you weren't just throwing axes at a wooden board over and over again. It included tictac toe, hangman, and a zombie killing game.

You of course started with killing some zombies. You expected to miss every time since you had never thrown either weapon before, so you shrieked in happiness when your very first throw stuck into the wooden wall without a problem.

"Aha! You see that! It actually stayed!" You hopped and thew you arms around Chan, already having the time of your freaking life!

Chan laughed in delight and caught you with a huge smile on his face. "And you got a zombie first try!" He pointed out.

"Your turn! Your turn!"

You spent the hour and a half time limit playing each game in turn, the smile never leaving your face. And you only stabbed yourself once with the sharp point of the throwing star. You hadn't even really noticed, but Chan immediately did.

As soon as he saw the tiny drop of blood on the back of your hand, he worriedly grabbed it. It was no more than you would get at the doctor from a finger prick test.

"It's okay, babe. I just wasn't careful when I removed it from the wall and one of the points got me. It doesn't even hurt." You vaguely panicked when you realized you let a pet name slip, but Chan didn't notice, to preoccupied digging into his pocket.

Amazingly, he pulled out a band aid and antibiotic ointment. "You brought first aid?" You asked him in shock.

He ignored the obvious question. "You should still take care of it. Don't want it to get infected or scar." He mumbled brow furrowed in concentration as he nursed your hand.

You melted. He thought ahead so much that he came prepared with first aid in case something happened with the sharp weapons you were going to be using. He really prepared for everything.

Sighing in fond exasperation, you were completely smitten with him and his caring personality.

When your time was up for axe throwing, he took you for some food nearby, both of you still smiling.

"This was super fun, Channie. Thank you so much!" You were swinging your hands between you as you walked slowly back to the car, enjoying your time just you and him.

"Thank you for agreeing to come. Especially since we gotta be so careful and secretive in public." He responded.

It's true, though you hadn't really noticed it much, too focused on the man you were with and how much fun you were having. You both had to disguise yourself out in public so no one would see you together and spoil the upcoming reveal. You had easily accepted it as the norm when he brought it up at the beginning of the date.

Once inside the security of your apartment building, he immediately removed the disguises, looking relieved. You giggled and mussed his flattened hair into something a bit better. He let you, with a thanks and smirk when you were satisfied.

In the elevator, you didn't let yourself overthink it. You leaned in and pecked his lips before moving away again and looking ahead.

However, he caught your wrist gently in his fingers and slid his other hand to cradle your face and neck as he pulled you close again. You met the kiss halfway this time. The kiss was still a mild one but lasting much longer than your peck on the lips, and you let your body melt against his.

You eventually made it back to the apartment, sharing one last kiss before rejoining the others.

Lino appeared as you were removing your shoes, his arms crossed.

"Finally! I thought we were going to need to send a search party for you! We need to set a curfew." He chastized.

"Lino, hun, it's not even dark out." You pointed out patting his shoulder as you used it for balance.

"A time limit then. Or check in points. Something!"

I looked up at him. "Do you do that with your other dates?"

"No, but it's different with you!"

Chan kissed Linos's cheek in greeting. "Sorry we worried you. We will check in next time." He promised soothing Lino gently.

Linos posture relaxed. "It's just. You know there are dangerous fans out there. It's a risk to let your guard down too much." He sighed.

You were reminded again how different your life was going to be now with Stray Kids. Even a simple date was more of a risk. Going out in public at all was putting yourselves in danger. Not just from being recognized, but to be mobbed as well. And if we weren't careful, someone could overhear or see something that could damage Stray Kids' reputation. The realization was kind of mind-boggling.

"Hey, you're back! How was it?" Felix asked as soon as he saw us. He didn't seem to be as worried as Lino was.

You felt your face light up as you remembered. "Amazing! We went axe throwing! It was so fucking fun!" You gushed. You immediately brought out your phone to show off the pictures you took.

"Hyung setting the date bar high, huh?"

"It's not a competition, Lix."

Lix laughed through his nose with a half smile.

"We are a group of eight men and one woman. Everything is a competition when it comes to you." Lino stated. Chan and Lix nodded in agreement. You sighed and rolled your eyes.

The rest of your day off was spent catching up on chores and unpacking the boxes of your stuff that had finally arrived. You also needed to build a bookshelf you bought. It had been leaning on your wall since it had been delivered. You were procrastinating the headache and frustration of building the damn thing.

So, keeping up with ignoring things you didn't want to do - or build - you started by unpacking what you could without the shelf. Mostly what little clothes you decided were worth keeping, and the collectables you couldn't bring yourself to give up.

Admittedly a lot of the collectables were Stray Kids and other K-pop memorabilia. Other groups that you stanned. You couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed by all of it for the first time in your life. But there was no way you could let it all go.

So, you hung up your fan made OT8 skzoo art in the frames on the tree Hyunjin painted and set up your skzoo plushie collection on your dresser. Your multiple K-pop shirts got put away carefully and the acrylic stands went on the dresser and desk. One or two even on the bedside tables.

After a few more sentimental items were set up or put away, you could no longer ignore the bookshelf. You were at a point that you could no longer put the rest away without it. Everything left was set to be displayed on it.

You dumped the boxes contents unceremoniously on the floor before looking for the instructions that got buried. The noise attracted a curious Han.

"Oh! It's so cute in here!" He complimented looking around at the new additions.

You flapped your hands at him, blushing. "Stop looking! I was STAY before ever meeting you, I couldn't just let all this stuff go! I spent years and a lot of money collecting it!"

"You are too cute!" He gushed just a little teasing.

You sighed. "Whatever. You may not want to stay in here. I'm about to curse a lot trying to put this stupid shelf together."

"Want some help?"

"Thank you for the offer, but it's okay."

"You sure? I don't mind. I kinda like doing stuff like this. Plus, it will go faster with two people."

Yah, true, sure. But You were used to doing things alone and you just knew you would get frustrated and snap at Han. Then later you would feel terrible. This was all still too new and you didn't want to hurt any of them on any day, but you really didn't want to make them hate you and send you away.

But still, the offer was tempting. "Okay. I'm sorry in advance, though, for anything I may say or do." You warned him

Han waved you off with an easy smile and sat on the floor across from you. "Don't worry about it. I understand."

Together you open the instructions and lay it flat on the floor. There were a lot. It unfolded to poster size or bigger. Sure, it had pictures, but not nearly enough to make up for the sheer number of instructions there were.

You suddenly regret every decision that led you to this moment right here. The work ahead of you seemed so daunting and impossible.

"Okay. It's a shelf. Can't be too difficult." Han said quietly, more to himself to you.

As it turns out, even building furniture is better with your soulmates. Han had this cute little frustrated pout that melted your own frustration any time you saw it. In between the two of you and the directions in two different languages, you were managing to figure the shelf out well enough.

"I think we put this piece on upside down." You said tilting your head sideways.

Han studied the shelf, then the picture on the directions intently. "Damn it. We did. Fucker!" He concluded.

You laugh as his pout increased and he began to grumble under his breath while removing the upside-down piece. Your laugh made him look over at you, and something he saw made the frustration leave his facial features and be replaced by a soft smile.

Finally, after 90 minutes, you both dusted off your hands and stood back, admiring your handiwork. He helped you move your new, extremely heavy, 5-teir bookshelf to a nice blank spot on a wall. It fit perfectly.

"Now you just got to fill it up." Han sighed. He flopped on your bed and made himself comfortable.

You kick the box half full of books, albums, and photocard binders gently with your bare toe. "That's the easy part."

You bent and grabbed some books first. You had kept several of your favorites that had beautiful dust covers or printed edges. Some were signed by the author. And some were just your favorites. Worn down from being read over and over again.

You place them on the shelf in such a way that it displayed the beautiful art or edges. You took great pride in your little collection. And you would have fun collecting more and adding them to the empty spaces you still had on the shelf.

The albums came next. You had acrylic stands for displaying your favorites or the ones with amazing covers. They are placed just so to show them off.

The photocard binders are something that you spent a lot of time on and were very particular about how they went on the shelf. You didn't really display them like the books or albums. There were a select few favorites in protective cases and displayed, but very few. The binders went on by group and placed in timeline order within their respective groups. You were slightly OCD about it, and it drove you nuts when anyone messed with them.

Finally finished unpacking, you glanced over at Han and noticed with a start that he had fallen asleep watching you finish your room. You carefully grab a blanket and drape it over him, tucking him in gently. It was late, and he had stayed up to help you. The least you could do was leave him to sleep. And you really didn't mind sharing the bed with him for the night.

Quickly and quietly changing into your pjs, you crawled slowly into the bed next to him, scootching under your comforter carefully and flipping off the light. Relaxing when your movements didn't wake him up. To prevent gossip and rumors among the group, you left the door open. You weren't sure how 'that' part of the relationships worked yet and didn't want to cause problems.

It was odd sleeping with another body next to you. You were used to sleeping alone. But that being said, you fell asleep quickly and deeply. Feeling content and secure among your soulmates, and doubly so with one closer than usual.

👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

Yet Unnamed Taglist: @fackeraccount @velvetmoonlght @hyunjinstolemyheart @vampkittenb82 @happy-jj @estella-novella @demigoddreamon-blog @tiana-maxivar @ms-flowergirl @jennibahng @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @mimimiloomeelomi @simpforskz143148 @xxeiraxx @lil-bear08 @brbwritingfanfic @jisungs-iced-americano @zofia515 @missvanjii @malyxsoulpersonal @silentreadersthings @pixie0627

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght

[bosspigeon]

what was the relationship between gortash and your durges pre-lobotomy? how do they feel when they meet him again?

:3 soooo originally i thought it would be REALLY funny if Gortash was shooting his shot so hard but Maw (pre-lobo Moss~) was just So Autistic he just didn't get it

but then i realized i could go deeper and much more painful :3c

i stand by Moss being a Big Ol' Virgin before Astarion, bc i, personally, think that makes for a very fun(ny) dynamic and also fits in with the character i've already established for Maw, and that was that he was so single-mindedly focused on his duty to Bhaal and his destiny that he didn't really bother with seeking out any sort of bond with anyone, much less enough for him to start feeling sexual attraction towards them. his duty was Murder and he was very, very, very good at it, and that came from a lifetime of dedication

but i think, meeting Gortash, someone he saw as more of an equal than even Orin (who he saw as his lesser by virtue of him being made by Bhaal from his own flesh and her being a second-generation spawn from a first-generation spawn that he still considered imperfect as well as misguided wrt his ideas about Blood Purity) and eventually befriending him over their shared passions and dedication to their respective patron gods, opening him up to actually making his own adult bond with someone else for the first time in his entire life

his relationship with Gortash started as a business deal and eventually turned into companionship and his first genuine friendship. and from there, feelings began to emerge on both sides, but seeing as Maw had a lot of practice shoving down any Softer Feelings he may have had (and an adolescence of Firm Guidance into perfection overseen by Sceleritas, who served Bhaal first and foremost) so before Orin betrayed him, they never got further than a very heavy, very dangerous Almost.

[lacystar]

it wouldn't even matter if he did "shit on you behind your back" when you "never say anything back." the thing it absolutely boils down to is that you knew him when he was a minor and he has come forward saying that because of your influence and power, he felt uncomfortable around you. any POSSIBLE comeback other than an apology ends there. slur or no slur, any other response to that is bad. or, is it just that someone underage you've hurt in the past telling the truth about you only scares you when you know they have the public influence to protect themself?

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

20/10 stars little guy