#this is not new LOL this is writing from over two years ago 💀

[scary-monsters]

▹broken boy | a diego brando character study | ch.1 | 2.7k ▹synopsis: Britain's beloved genius jockey. Swimming in money, trophies, lovers, recognition… and yet, he starves for more. With a shady past, dangerously unclear motives, and an explosive ego to boot, it's no wonder his inner circle consists of only himself and those that can benefit him. (Canon leaves out a lot. This fic begins with ten-year-old Diego and aims to fill in the gaps throughout the rest of his life while still remaining true to his core character.) [ read on ao3 instead ]

For young Diego Brando, the closest feeling to “home” is found at the stables. It’s in the creaking of old doors, the crunch of hay underneath his worn boots, the familiar snorts and whinnies that echo throughout the wooden fixtures as soon as he steps near. These days, he can tell them all apart. Diego knows the horses at this farm well enough that they might as well be his brothers and sisters. And, well… in a way, he supposes they’re the closest he’ll ever get to having any sort of family again.

It’s early on a Tuesday; Diego’s just barely beat the sunrise, already dressed in his work attire and headed for the very stables he finds such solace in. Maybe he’s a lucky boy, given that he’s had the opportunity to work with horses for the past five years in order to earn his keep around here. It’s a “dream job” of sorts, he supposes. At any rate, his interaction with the people on this farm tends to stay at a minimum. His job is quite simple: tend to the horses every single day. Feed them, groom them, clean their enclosures. This, of course, is bare bones, but Diego fancies himself an overachiever. He knows the horses by name, understands all their habits and quirks and what makes them tick, so taking each of them around the farm for regular exercise is easy (and enjoyable) work.

With a squeak, the stable doors open easily for him, the air fills his nose with the familiar and comfortable smell of hay. Diego can already hear at least one of his beloved companions stirring in an enclosure just to his left. Cursed with less than average height, he’s unable to clearly see, but he already knows it’s one of the dappled grays, an elderly mare named Tilly.

“Morning, girl,” Diego whispers, approaching the enclosure’s door and giving it a gentle pat. He makes a mental note to take her out for a ride later; it’s been a few days, but he tries to find balance between keeping Tilly active without overexerting her.

Diego’s first attempt at riding a horse was less than successful, of course. He’d just turned five, but his interest in horses had been clear since his infancy. Nervous as she was, Diego’s mother was never the type to discourage his desire to try something new, constantly instilling in him her pride in his drive and intelligence from such a young age. However, her instinct told her to deny him this one request. Her son was much too young, and she was fiercely protective.

Perhaps it was the rough conditions he’d been raised in, but Diego seemed to mature at a much faster pace than the other children on the farm. He’d had no choice, really. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, this came with impenetrable stubbornness. Diego respected his mother more than anyone else, but beyond that he wanted nothing more than to make her proud. And so, while she’d been distracted with her own work, he’d attempted to mount one of the more aggressive stallions.

As strong as his innate ability to connect with horses always has been, Diego’s first attempt had ended in him slipping off and tumbling to the ground, though thankfully with no critical injuries. His mother was fuming, scolding him and demanding he keep his distance from the animals for several days. Diego had been heartbroken, but beyond that he’d been embarrassed. The incident left him with a huge blow to his steadily blossoming confidence.

Nevertheless, this only made Diego’s drive much stronger. If there’s anything Diego unquestionably is, it’s persistent. Even more so these days, and it’s what his mother always encouraged him to be, anyway.

Diego gathers supplies from the corner of the stable; an old brush, a metal pick, a bucket, a few thick rope leads, and a rickety shovel. As he makes his way through the structure even more of his friends begin to stir, their heads popping up from behind stable doors and eyeing him expectantly. Diego leans on his shovel as his eyes dart from horse to horse, a grand total of seven in just this stable alone.

“Right then,” Diego states firmly, “we went from oldest to youngest yesterday, shall we switch it up today?”

Sensing no objections, Diego gives one strong nod and lugs his supplies over to the first enclosure on his right.

“Seems it’s your lucky day, Bolt.” The rusty metal latch of the stable door turns, another dappled gray waits inside, this one much younger than Tilly. In fact, he’s the youngest of several she’s birthed while living on this farm.

Diego approaches Bolt with as much gentleness as he does any of the other horses, yielding him the same trust he always receives. Beyond being in tune with horses and their quirks, he’s always had a knack for gaining their reliance almost immediately as well. Moments where he’s had to really prove himself to an animal have been few and far between, but it’s like his mother had said right before she’d passed: this is his innate talent.

With Bolt leashed securely to one of the wooden columns inside the structure, Diego sets to work cleaning up his living space. It’s not easy work, certainly not for a boy his age. Perhaps it’d be different if he were well fed and got regular, sufficient rest, but his living conditions on this farm have only gotten slightly better since his mother passed away four years ago.

Diego no longer sleeps on the barn floor, now he stays in the most run-down room of an inn just down the road from the farm. It’s dingy as it is, but his allowance will only grant him the lowest they have to offer. He continues to survive off daily portions of stew, but it’s not nearly enough to facilitate his growth at this rate. And, unfortunately, he’s always met with a tinge of humiliation when he has to stand in the very line where he’d seen his mother sacrifice her hands for him, only to make direct eye contact with the very same man who’d brought about the most traumatic moment of his life years ago.

The scrape of metal against the wooden floor breaks Diego out of his thoughts, almost like he’d instinctively pushed just a little harder. There’s no time for his mind to wander. The people of this farm will get what’s coming to them, eventually, someday. Diego has to believe it, it’s the one thing that keeps him waking up every single day.

Well, that and his horses. Diego lifts his eyes from the floor and glances over to Bolt, who’s watching him attentively and gently swishing his tail back and forth.

“Come now,” he tuts, chuckling softly to himself as he continues to shovel manure into a neat pile in the center of the enclosure. “Quite hard to do my job if you’re staring bullets through me.”

Bolt lightly shakes his head and snorts. He’s always had a bit more personality than some of the other horses, and Diego figures it may be thanks to his age. Bolt is only three, an age that causes the young boy to consider him something like a brother.

Diego leaves the stables for a moment to retrieve an old squeaky wheelbarrow from outside. He notices with contempt that some of the inhabitants of the small village are starting to go about their daily routines. Rage boils inside him for a moment, his hands clenching tightly against the handles.

Diego deeply inhales. Exhales. Reminds himself of his mother’s wise words.

Dignity. He cannot forget his dignity.

With that, he heads back inside, focusing on his daily tasks. The ache in his arms from shoveling manure and dirty hay is worthwhile in return for the pride he feels. And even though he must unfortunately traverse outside the safety of the stables to retrieve fresh water, he keeps his shoulders up, his head held high, ignoring the people around him.

Without question, Diego’s favorite part of his job is grooming the horses. Every single one of them remains calm under his touch, even as he scrapes at their hooves with a metal pick, albeit as gently as possible. By the time he’s reached the third stable, his hair sticks to his forehead with sweat. It’s not unusual for him to become fatigued partway through his day, but his focus remains on his companions. Before he knows it, he’s soared through caring for almost every horse inside the building.

Thankful that he’s saved his clear favorite for last, Diego eagerly unlatches Tilly’s enclosure and greets her with an encouraging click of his tongue. Hard of hearing at her old age, it takes her a moment to register his greeting, but as soon as she does she slowly rises to her feet.

“Hey, old girl,” Diego coos, extending his hand to carefully pet her muzzle, “fancy a ride this afternoon?”

Of course, as confident as he is in his ability to communicate with these animals, Diego can’t read their minds. But if he could, Tilly would easily be the most capable candidate. Maybe she doesn’t outwardly react, but Diego can sense she’s pleased with that suggestion. He won’t wear her out; he supposes a short walk around the village won’t be too strenuous.

Diego takes the most care with Tilly, offering her as much of his time as possible. Though he prefers not to dwell on it too much, he’s aware that she’s nearing the end of her life. Heart aching a bit at the thought, Diego chews at his lip as he brushes her beautifully spotted coat. A series of pats along her back act as an expression of his gratitude; if not for her, he’s unsure how he’d have gotten through his mother’s tragic passing.

Briefly overcome with emotion, he rests his cheek upon her side, closing his eyes for a moment. Diego isn’t sure how he’ll manage another round of loss, but at least in this instance it’ll be her time. Not like his mother. It wasn’t her time. She deserved to live a long, full life. It simply isn’t fair.

Diego’s eyes fly open and he proudly lifts his head once again.

Dignity. ---

Saddled up and fed, Tilly eagerly allows Diego to mount her. The young boy takes her reins in hand and steers her outside the stables. Balmy sunlight seems to almost restore her, causing her legs to move with a more lively energy. It has the same effect on Diego; his skin hungrily absorbs the bright rays, practically washing away the ache in his arms and legs. He feels at peace like this, astride his beloved horse, lifted above the people he passes by. It’s likely the closest he’ll ever feel to royalty.

Diego doesn’t stop for anyone. He ignores the eyes of the villagers; neighbors is a more accurate word, probably, but his resentment refuses to acknowledge them as such. None of them are worthy of nearing his beautiful steed, Tilly’s much too regal for their filthy hands. Stained with blood, the whole lot of them.

Spotting one of the farmhands just a few feet away, Diego makes a feeble attempt at steering Tilly in the opposite direction, but his fate’s been sealed. The man spots him, sneering in his direction and unfortunately approaching him.

“Brando,” he gruffly greets the boy, “you know that old thing should stay in the stables.”

Diego scoffs. The man may provide him with his work, but this doesn’t mean he deserves even a shred of his respect.

“Tilly has a name.” He lovingly brushes his hand along her neck. “Taking her for a stroll keeps her in shape. My job is to care for the horses, is it not?”

The farmhand narrows his eyes threateningly, but he doesn’t offer a rebuttal as far as Diego’s question. Of course he doesn’t; Diego’s one of the few who selflessly dedicates their time to caring for the animals.

“Her days are nearly up, boy. Wouldn’t it be more worthwhile to focus on the healthy horses?”

He’s undeserving of an answer, Diego decides. Lifting his head, he guides Tilly to turn around and head back for the stables. A short ride is all she can handle, sure, but he’s certain it’s been enough to lift her spirits. He won’t allow this sore excuse for a man to ruin that for her.

“How dare he speak to you like that,” Diego spits, gripping her reins even tighter, “I won’t stand for it. Mark my words, sweet girl.”

It’s a vague promise, but one that he intends to keep.

---

Diego awakens the following morning as he always does – sprawled out on a bedroll resting against the creaky wooden floor of a worn down inn. The sun has just started to peek over the horizon, and his eyes take a moment to adjust to the rays filtering through his small window. He sheds his too-small sleep clothes and clumsily changes into his dirty work attire, eager to start his day.

Ever since his encounter with that farmhand yesterday, he’s been filled with disdain. Diego decides he’ll spend extra time today doting on Tilly, he’ll make it clear to her that she’s worth just as much as any other horse on this farm. Maybe even more, given how much ridicule she’s been subject to.

As always, he’s up before many of the other residents. The silence makes the crunch of his shoes against gravel all the more audible, a welcome sound alongside the chirping of birds and whistling of a gentle breeze.

But something feels off. There’s a faint heaviness in the pit of his stomach, but he tries to quell the sensation. It’s simply the residual frustration from yesterday, he assures himself. As soon as he reaches the stables, he’s certain the comforting feeling of home will wash over him.

Diego approaches the small building, unlatches the old wooden door and steps inside. The sound of his companions reacting to his entrance causes a faint smile to grace his lips. He instinctively looks to his left, stepping towards Tilly’s enclosure and giving its entrance a gentle knock.

“Morning, old girl,” he greets her, just as he always does, but he’s met with silence.

The pit in his stomach grows heavier, larger. Diego curses his height and desperately presses his ear to the gate.

“Tilly?” He attempts to rouse her again.

The silence is deafening. With shaky hands he unlatches the gate and carefully swings it open.

Just as he feared, just as his instinct had told him, his beloved Tilly isn’t there. An empty stable, already tidied up and ready for another resident, is all that greets him.

For a moment, the quickly shrinking hopefulness within him insists that she must be out somewhere, that another farmhand has taken her for a stroll and graciously cleaned her living space. Given the sentiments he’d heard yesterday, he knows this realistically can’t be true. The memory of the farmhand's disgusting sneer and mocking tone echoes through Diego’s mind.

“Tilly,” Diego whispers, as if saying her name will bring her back to him.

It won’t. It can’t. Much in the same vein as his mother was taken from him, the people of this farm have once again spit on him, allowing someone dear to him to be wrongfully abandoned, tossed aside.

All he can do is fall to his knees, his hands grasping desperately at the hay underneath him. The warm sting of imminent tears begins in the corners of his eyes and as much as he’d like to fight it, he can’t. Stare fixed on the very spot that he’d seen Tilly just yesterday, his vision becomes blurry with moisture.

Diego wails, unrelenting. His body shakes with the force of his sobs, he pounds his fist against the wooden floor underneath him, aggressively rips at the too-clean hay surrounding him. It’s unfair, it wasn’t her time, and worst of all, he’d failed to protect her.

Inwardly, he apologizes to his mother, wherever her soul may have ended up. His grasp on dignity has faltered, his shame is immeasurable, and he childishly aches for her comforting embrace.

[tojiscrack]

on my weekly re-read of liar liar, and i was GOING TO pull an all nighter and finish it all, but i feel asleep before i could 😞😞

ANYWAYS!! i find it so funny that throughout the first chapter (and even later chapters, but not as much) its mentioned (and made very obvious) that y/n is a little devil child, that can be too much to handle, but never w megumi. like, idk how to explain it, but hes never thought shes “too much”, and lets her do what she wants, just puts his input in (like when she switched classes, he didnt feel overly annoyed by it, just told her that she was gonna get in trouble) (i might be wrong about this LMAO) youve written them in a way that they balance each other PERFECTLY, like they are genuinely soulmates.

the end scene of the first chapter is oddly one of my favourite parts of the fic, because we get other characters (albeit, minor characters, but wtv) opinions on them, and youve written them exactly like how they describe it. they keep each other in line, and thats why they work so well together.

anyways!!! i love this fanfic so sosososooos much!!! i dont understand how this isnt more popular because???? ITS SO GOOD???? literally how arent people falling in love with your writing within the first 1k words??

(also i meant to include this in a previous ask, but i forgot lol, BUT ONE OF MY FAV DUOS IN THE FIC (and in canon lfmao) is megumi and nobara?? everytime they’re together i genuinely laugh, you nailed their characters and character dynamic)

liar, liar masterlist here:

INCOMING YAP SESSION CUZ THIS ASK GOT ME SUPER DUPER EXCITED KSJSJDIWJ

WEEKLY reread? girl, stop, you’re gonna notice all the typos i cba to get rid of 🫣

HAHAHA, NO STOP, I HAVEN’T HAD ANYONE MENTION THE WHOLE ‘DEVIL CHILD’ THING SINCE THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS WERE RELEASED 😭 and that, my friend, was months ago 🌝

so i’m so excited to just talk about this omggg!!! 😫💘

yes indeed 😤 megumi would most likely say she’s sm to handle, but really, he lowkey enjoys it. it’s the only time he can be an accomplice witness to such foolish behaviour, and not be reprimanded for it as much ‘cause he just has her to fall back on and blame. he won’t ever stop her, per se, but he’ll tell her once or twice ‘whatever you’re doing, it’s not gonna work’ or ‘don’t be dumb’, and think he’s done his part before being influenced by her 💀

‘i might be wro-’ stfu you’re right and you know it 🙄❤️

and you’re also right in it not being mentioned as much when they’re older. no, i did not forget to add it, that was done intentionally for two reasons:

they’re older now, so as much as she does what she wants with him, she’s a lot more tame than she was as a child. that doesn’t mean she ever regrets the stupid things she’s done (except for the whole mermaid thing, that is a lifelong regret she’ll always have 😭)

the idea that she’s such a menace has been established enough over the years to the point where no one feels the need to voice it. new characters probably would — someone like miss b who was introduced in the middle school chapter — but even then, she was exposed to the more tame versions of the chaotic duo. so everyone kinda silently acknowledges it, and only during crazy moments (like the tragic helicopter incident of 2016, rip satoru/suguru’s will to live 😔) will it actually be voiced (like ogi mistakenly believing that y/n didn’t start any of the nonsense that occurred during the incident, and that was mentioned cuz of the fact that she’s famously known to be so incredibly out of control).

the bonus scene for the first chapter was my fav to write as wellll (tho arguably, i say that about so many scenes, so the value of this statement is probably worth nothing 💀). bonus scenes were initially meant to be ONLY from other people’s pov, but i noticed how so many things from y/n and megumi’s childhood tgth are littered around the story, and that the only way you could ever get any insight of them is through the bonus scene since the chapters are too long to add flashbacks AND bonus scenes. i could always do a separate set of oneshots for them, but i don’t have the time for that (yk this through my horrid updating schedule) 😟

but i am so glad you’re telling me what you enjoyed — and more importantly, being specific about it. it lets me put into perspective how the later chapters (tho already planned) should be set out. your feedback means the world to me, and you deserve a million set of kisses every night for them <3333

‘i love this fanfic sosososo much!!! i don’t understand how this isn’t more popular because??? IT’S SO GOOD???’

okay brb, gonna go and find my right to exist and have the perfect life when cutie pies like you grace this earth 😖💞💓💗💞

maybe one day it’ll get bigger 😊 if that day ever comes, i’ll remember my og readers. i’ll remember the support i was given from them. i’ll remember people like you, who continuously flood my inbox with enough love to pull yank me out of writer’s block and squeeze out another chapter, how because of your long and juicy asks/messages/dms, the cycle of writing i have going on here continues, and i feel more and more proud that i even developed such a fic to begin with ❤️

‘literally how aren’t people falling in love with your writing after the first 1k words’ — errr probably ‘cause the first 1k words were just y/n trying (and failing) to explain what happens in her horror stories without stuttering 💀 LMFAO, SORRY 😭 i’d fall asleep on that carpet if i were the kids surrounding her, and they went to listen willingly.

but ugh, that’s so nice of you, i’m gonna siwjosnwidjwjd

AND OMG YOU’RE SO RIGHT

like everyone talks about yuji/nobara, or yuji/megumi, bUT WHAT ABOUT MY BEANS NOBARA/MEGUMI? they have a level of deep understanding with each other in canon (and in my fic, which will be addressed CHAPTERSSSS later) that i’d love to yap about, but i’ve already yapped enough, like you’re probably cringing rn i’m sorry 😭 another time, maybe 😔

[minniiaa]

It is currently 5am and I woke up like 20 minutes ago, let's go lol

You know why I'm here, I kinda know why I'm here but that's besides the point anyways, thought of the day: Law becomes confident in their relationship and makes it exclusively Luffy's problem. Luffy thought that Law being confident about them would mean more PDA, more getting to tell their friends about the cute/hot things Law did that week, but no, Law only now doesn't push Luffy away when he kisses his cheek in public and if he asks, a proper kiss on the lips. A win is a win to Luffy though and he knows better by now than to try tearing down Law's metaphorical privacy screen in one go.

What DOES change, however, is that Law has become… insatiable when it's just the two of them. They definitely share a living space by now if you're thinking a modern au setting, which I am so that's all you're getting, and Law is a MENACE compared to before. Sure they would cuddle and Luffy was given free rein to kiss Law when and wherever in the confines of their home, but now Law's dragging Luffy into cuddling on the couch or back into bed while mumbling about 10 more minutes. Luffy thinks Law is sick when he pouts about Luffy not getting home at the time he said he would (he was 7 minutes late). While Luffy wishes he could get Law to put up with his PDA more, he's still over the moon about Law initiating intimacy more than before, makes him feel a lot more appreciated than he expected.

Now the sex. It almost scares Luffy, which has little differences to arousal for him, when Law starts being more vocal and outgoing during sex. Usually he had to fight Law on pulling his face away from pillows or teasing himself until he used his words to tell Luffy what he wanted, now Law was openly crying out for Luffy like he's reciting gospel and at the same time begging for him defile the temple Luffy worships. A week ago Law gave Luffy the dirtiest look for smacking his ass after Law refused to say Luffy's name, only calling him Mugiwara/Straw Hat out of spite, while like an hour ago Luffy found Law fingering himself while shamelessly moaning his name loud enough to hear from the doorway.

I'll be so real right now, I knocked out halfway through that last paragraph, what you see now is heavily edited because I was on some shit while half awake typing it the first time… the last one though I kept mostly original cause wtf was I on when I wrote “Now the sex.” 😭

-💫💀💫

NO BC YOU COOKED WITH THIS ONE ANON! I totally relate to the GRIPPING 5am thoughts.

I've been dying to write a one-shot with this premise, I started down this road of brainrot when I made a post about Law becoming a puppy boyfriend after years of dating Luffy and you just took it and RAN. The neurons are firing in my brain. I live for stories about them getting into relationships but one that they're already in a relationship and something changes is so fun.

I love this. Like Luffy is so used to being the one to seek out Law for affection when they're alone and Law has always given it to him, not overly so though, he always acts a little annoyed when Luffy throws himself at him or begs for cuddles when he's busy reading but he doesn't push him away. Law's just not a glutton for physical affection like him and Luffy accepts that. Law's an amazing boyfriend and it's enough for Luffy.

However, now the roles are reserved and Luffy is CONFUSED. Like don't get it twisted he is over the moon and would spend all day cuddled up with Law on the couch if he could. It's just such a drastic change, especially in bed. Luffy loves this new Law that is showing him his face and is so vocal and needy begging him for more and more until even Luffy is tired and that's saying something, it's what he's always hoped for. I think Luffy would faint from happiness if he discovered Law fingering himself and saying his name no joke.

Luffy is thrilled, albeit a bit confused and it feels so not like his Law, the one he's grown to love more than anyone in the world. He's not perfect, but he's perfect in Luffy's eyes. He wants to know why Law is suddenly so different from his normal self. Does he think he's more attractive? He looks in the mirror to see if maybe he looks different but no, he's just the same old Luffy. Maybe he just loves him more? It's great and all but why now?

I'm torn on the reasoning behind this (you should let me know your thoughts). I like the idea that Law just woke up and decided he doesn't care anymore. He knows better than anyone that life is too short and he wants to love Luffy the way that he's been wanting too deep down but he's been held back by his own insecurities even after all this time.

Maybe he had a nightmare after years of not having them and he dreams that Luffy died and there was nothing he could do. His patients are suddenly dying more than usual and Law is terrified that he's going to lose Luffy even though it's illogical. The only thing he can think to do is give him his body and soul (he already had it, but he wants to make sure Luffy knows he has it).

Whatever it is, they both like it a lot. Luffy gets all the physical affection he's ever wanted from Law and Law gets to finally be open and honest about his adoration for Luffy. They're more in love with each other than ever and everyone can see it even if Law still hasn't let up on his PDA barriers to the point they're asking if something happened. Both Law and Luffy reply "nothing" with stupid little smiles because nothing and something happened all at the same time.

Thanks for another fun ask, I love this odd anonymous brainrot sharing thing we have developed here. <3

(ps "Now the sex." is great and I would have loved to see your 5am brain chaos but the edited version is just as amazing!)

[theoldlesbianwithcats]

As someone who never watched Portrait of a Lady on Fire because it looked dull and I’m kind of over the sanitized and demure ancient white women period dramas (would love to see some woc in the mix for once like at least that would be a new take on the genre) I would love to hear your thoughts. I feel like it’s probably a good movie but I just don’t care. Fell the same way about Carol too like where’s the mess and intrigue lol

For period drama with a woman of color, I remember enjoying Mystère à la Tour Eiffel (but I watched it a long time ago) and The Handmaiden (this one seems to get polarizing opinions from lesbians though haha)

I feel like Portrait tries too hard to be smart and artistic, as if Céline Sciamma wanted to create a piece to be studied in film analysis courses, you know? As a result I didn't find it very subtle nor enjoyable on that aspect. (Tbh, I don't really care about period dramas and my favorite genre is comedy, so I'm biased against it in the first place)

Like many lesbians, I didn't like the ending at all. To summarize the plot, Héloïse (Adèle Haenel) is forced by her mother to marry a man, but for that to happen the man has to receive a portrait of her, so she completely avoids getting painted. Her mother then leaves her on a small island with a "female companion", Marianne (Noémie Merlant) who, in reality, is a painter commissioned to secretly do Héloïse's portrait. They fall in love, obviously, but Héloïse ends up accepting getting painted because she feels like she has no other choice than to marry that man. Years later, Marianne sees a new portrait of her with a child (and a symbol that shows that Héloïse still thinks about her) and sees Héloïse crying at a classical concert that plays a piece Marianne once played for her.

Céline Sciamma is supposedly a real lesbian ffs! She said in interviews that she struggled with finding lesbian romance books when she was a teen! Why make her protagonist end up in a forced marriage to a man? (Said protagonist being played by her ex-girlfriend of all people, kinda creepy if you ask me)

About that ending, she said "I wanted to question what a happy ending is. We have the romantic-comedy philosophy – a frozen image of two people being together – and we also have the tragic ending. And I wanted neither. Why do we believe that eternal possession of somebody means a happy ending? Love educates us about art. Art consoles us from lost love. Our great loves are a condition of our future love. The film is the memory of a love story; it’s sad but also full of hope." What is full of hope (and not tragic) about knowing that the love of your life is doomed to be raped and forced to bear children 💀

If she wanted to write about lost love and bittersweet ending, she could have gone the classic "protagonist kills herself" route, the "protagonist bids farewell to her lover and disappears/becomes a nun" route or even the "in a desperate attempt to avoid forced marriage, the protagonist kills her mother and ends up in jail/executed" route (I know she wouldn't have done the last one because that kinda ruins the feminist sisterhood vibe of the movie)

Of course the best choice would have been "they make a makeshift raft and get the fuck out of that island while the mother's gone and they create a new life somewhere else", but that's just my opinion 😂

Anyway, if you haven't watched it already, I really recommend that SNL skit about lesbian period dramas with Kate McKinnon:

[spidereggs888]

Miguel’s new secretary ooh-la-la

(lol /j 💀)

Miguel O’Hara & y/n, any gender or non gender. Very casual writing style. TW Dark humor, dangerous situations, 18+. Y/n are sorta attracted to Miguel (why else would you be here?) but he doesn’t know you lol

This is a loooong read so make sure you have time or something. Also, there’s an illustration in the middle of the chapter! Enjoy

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

MIGUEL & YOU

ACT 1 | ALGORITHMIC LOTTERY

It's the year 2110.

You are maneuvering through traffic in a sputtery fashion, the lifter problem in your engine getting so bad it almost sounds like you got rocks under the hood. The podcast is going on about alligators in Nueva York sewers.

“Couldn’t be more wrong,” you mumble, “there’s CROCODILES in the sewers, not alligators.”

You aren’t looking forward to this interview. How the heck did you manage an audition for office secretary to the CEO of Alchemax?!

“I don’t know,” you say aloud to your other self, “but if I get the job, Imma upgrade to a better ride than this heap of Maglev shit…”

But there’s other bitches who want this position. Two of them you are aware of: Syd and Brody. Syd is a real suck up who will say any damn thing to get the position. She out-groveled you and got the lead PR accounting job you wanted. Suck-up Syd is what you call her around your friends. Brody on the other hand is opposite; he thinks he can strong-arm his way into anything and he pretty much has. He’s kicked people down, screwed people over, and there’s a rumor he filed a sexual harassment charge on his friend Ashton just to get the promotion before Ashton could.

These two skanks are gonna be tricky, but that’s the least of why you loathe this whole thing. You also heard that Miguel O’Hara is a hard ass. When he came into power a few years ago, he immediately fired the former secretary for talking about his father in a positive light. Then he proceeded to chew and spit out people who ever had the misfortune of being in that job position.

“Or maybe they just cut their losses after raking in half a billion,” your friend Speshall guessed the last time you seen her, “they prolly couldn’t take the heat for that long so they waited until they were set for life then said something stupid on purpose to get him to let them go. What a retirement plan! To work for the sexiest man of the year then have him berate you on your way out!”

She was always like this.

Anyway, now your car is not being validated in the automated parking center.

“What the HELL?!”

“Sorry, your credit has been declined.”

“Oh fuck me-“

You fumble your lanyard of data sticks. You are looking for the green one, which has a small amount of credit you procured from test playing phone games. You lean out of your car window to bring the green stick drive near the wireless reader.

“Sorry, we cannot accept credit from online gambling. Please use another method of payment.”

“Oh fuck you!”

≋ ≋ ≋ ≋

Now you are walking. You had to park where they don’t give a shit about where your money is from. Alchemax is trying to create a good precedent by not accepting dirty money, but Alchemax, as far as you know, does dirtier stuff for pay. Why the hell is “gambling money” any different?!

Scowling so hard, you almost didn’t notice there’s some douchebag trying to walk close behind you. He probably saw the lanyard of data sticks around your neck, so you fluff your scarf around until they are covered.

“I don’t have any money, muh guy” you say in your heaviest Nueva York accent along with this generations lingo.

“Oh I’m not afta you. I was tryna tell ya there’s this otha weirdo following ya. I’m tryna group up here.”

You know better than to look back. That’s what this fucko wants you to do. He’s probably a flasher, so you walk into traffic.

“Hey that’s dangerous, yo!”

You don’t listen. Cars flying past is not as scary as going up to see the freakin CEO of Alchemax.

No cars hit you, so now you have to face reality. You walk into the Alchemax Business Bureau building (one of hundreds), and wave your ID at the receptionist in the lobby. The receptionist is preoccupied with a lady who has one hand on her hip and the other holding out a holo watch. It’s projecting a screen with a giant hourglass animation flipping over and over.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard to get a damn cup of coffee around here, I just don’t!”

“C’mon it’s not necessary to bring security here, ma’am.”

He remains standing behind his desk and grimaces at you. You really need to get him to validate your ID so you won’t be stopped by security, so you pull up your phone and say to the woman, “you want some coffee coupons for Dunkin Donuts?”

“What?”

You open your savings app and hastily air-swipe several coupons to her holo device like someone flicking bills at a stripper. She stops to look at them.

“A regular frap for half off? Oh woooow, how- will they really honor this?” She asks.

“Yeah! It’s good for two more days, so you may wanna hurry over to the kiosk at the west end.”

“Really?”

“They sell all brands of coffee, they’ll honor it.”

“Well, nevermind, then,” she says curtly to the receptionist as she turns her shoulder away, “Didn’t want hours-old coffee anyway.”

She turns on her fancy heel and trots away. You grin stupidly at the receptionist who rolls his eyes and snatches your ID card from you. He swipes it near his card reader then flicks it back without a word.

After a nod, you swiftly leave down the lobby to the elevator area. You round the corner and see an open elevator closing. It's the only one since the other two are under construction. You rush forward as fast as your legs will allow.

"Wait wait WAIT WAIT!"

The doors are closing and you see the face of Suck-up Syd with her smoky eyes and faux fur capelet. She smiles and does nothing as the doors close.

"Shocking typical," you grumble. But you know where the other elevator is. You take off to the other end of the building for the second set of elevators.

You make it onto the elevator with two other people, some white chick and an Indian dude. The lady sees your pass.

"Going for the secretary job?" She asks.

"Yeah."

“Me too. If I don’t get this, I’m going to jump from this building,” the lady jokes.

“If I get this, I WILL jump from this building,” you add.

“Either way, it's gonna be job security for the custodian department,” the Indian guy says. All three of you chuckle politely.

The elevator lets more people in. You check your phone. You are fucking late by 20 minutes, but so is the lady who wants this job or else. You assume it would have taken a while anyway, since there was about 15 people going in for this very same job. Could it be you?! Could you land this job?! What if your mom was wrong?! And what if O’Hara says yes? What if you are set for life?

The final floor of this elevator is reached. You wobble on your way out. The lady doesn’t move.

“Actually, I can’t do this. I’m going home.”

The elevator doors close and she goes back down. You hear a faint byeeeeeeeeeee as the elevator descends to lower levels. You pay no heed and follow the Indian man into the massive hall.

There’s already chaos. One guy is being escorted out of the lobby by his shirt collar, and he's spouting obscenities. Some lady had dropped all her paperwork and she’s too numb to pick it up again. Two ladies near her are sarcastically wishing each other luck, one of them is Suck-up Syd. She looks 10x more desperate today with her tight-fitting outfit and belt buckle the size of a plate. Her overly fake smile gives you no esteem or hope. You almost sit but realize there’s barf on the chair.

Okay, surely everyone is overreacting in here.

“Man I’m not scared at all. There’s a trick to facing down Alpha males,” says a guy who you didn’t ask.

“Ah, cool.” you say through a grin. It’s Brody. You don’t even have to see him to know he’s there with his overwhelming presence of snobbery.

“See, as a Sigma male,” he continues, leaning on the back of the barf chair to talk to you, “I don’t adhere to the Alpha’s orders. That’s how the pack survives! One guy is an outlier so like if the Alpha fails in his role as leader, the Sigma will show by example and the rest of the females and Betas will follow him-“

“BRODY!”

You and Brody see Ashton in the doorway you came from. Ashton beelines across the room with his briefcase raised high. He brings it down on Brody with a loud clunk and they grapple and exchange blows. You go ahead and sit down perfectly still.

"Oh my GOD!" Suck-up Syd muses. She only sees this as two less competitors. You wince as the men start yelling obscenities at each other in their struggle. The guards who took out the last guy come back in and see this happening and they both huff angrily.

"Next!"

"Ah, that's me!" Syd says, “you guys are welcome to leave, I probably got this in the bag.”

She gets up and thrusts her capelet onto the lobby assistant.

.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳ ˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.

Four hours pass. Brody and Ashton were escorted from the building, those bozos didn’t even get an interview, but it was funny watching Brody get dragged down to hell by a demon he wronged.

Suck-up Syd walked out in tears and a forced smile. You felt bad for making fun of her in the past. She’s just kinda desperate and a little pathetic. You assume groveling doesn't work on the boss.

Other people came and went swiftly. The cheerful Indian man from earlier left looking surprised at his failure. The lady who dropped all her crap earlier apparently already had an interview and was reeling from her bad luck. You understand their disappointment since being chosen for this position was like winning the lottery, except you don't know if you won or not.

“Next!”

Your stomach twists but you refuse to be like them. This is just a job. You’ll be answering phones, emails, and possibly even mailing some dry cleaning. No big fuckin deal.

You thank the lobby assistant but she ignores you and walks away. She is just doing her job. She looks very tired of everyone else’s shit and is probably glad it's over. You walk to the elevator where the second to last person is taking baby-steps, talking on his phone with someone nursing his wounded pride. That could be you in a minute.

I'm probably not gonna get it either, you think, but I'm going down with some dignity.

You work yourself up as you step into yet another elevator, this one glass paneled. You stare across Nueva York as you ascend, contemplating your future. So what if you don't make it? You will simply fall back to your job and go about your life. Your mom will say she's right about the invitation being a fluke. You will go back to paying off debts and supplementing your food budget by testing mobile phone games during work hours and before you go to sleep. You see your own reflection, no longer as young as you used to be, and you sigh.

The glass doors open behind you. You walk through another set of foggy glass doors. Despite your self pep talk, you are still not looking forward to this. You've seen pictures of Miguel O'Hara before; over 6 feet tall, wide shoulders that could support an ox yoke, and a presence so large one would think he could go toe to toe with Godzilla. How will the interview go? You imagine fire. You expect a demon sitting behind a black marble desk in the darkness, a horrendous mob boss wearing Scarface attire, spitting fiery facts and passing cruel judgment, his horns ascending at the heavens with searing indifference and contempt for mercy. You expect a fax machine in the corner that will print out your death.

This is not what you see.

There he is, in this meager temp office sitting behind a tiny desk covered in empty water bottles. His shoulders are wider than the desk, but he's scrunching them in to seem normal. He's wearing a regular dress shirt, no tie. No fancy jewelry either, just some off-brand oversized watch on his left wrist. He looks disappointed already, but not at you. He’s squinting down at some of the tiny desks’ interactive holo-projections. You see your name on one of the files he’s peering at through comically large anti glare glasses.

You don’t sit. You are too stressed. He hasn’t noticed you. He picks up one of the water bottles and carefully opens it with his monster hands. They look travel-sized compared to him. He sips it and notices you.

“Hello!” You greet.

He finishes it in two gulps and sets it down slowly, as to not disturb the other bottles.

“Okay I don’t have a lot of time left, so let’s cut through here… you work for the guys in the PR department-“

“Ah yeah, they are a very friendly bunch down there! That is until you get to know them!” You blurt out. He looks up at you with tired eyes and swipes through the files without looking at them.

“Says here you were demoted from vice head PR accounting a while back, but you attached a note saying you have an alibi? Let’s hear it.”

“Uhhh.”

“C’mon I don’t have all day.”

“There was a payment discrepancy, uh, I was given a raise but I noticed my boss didn’t update it for a whole month. He was on vacation and wasn't answering my calls, so... since he left the finances to me I updated it myself… And I got into trouble BUT it was technically not embezzlement, so I was given an ultimatum to either move to a lower department or get fired, so-“

“Self-reliant. Got it. There's a note from your current department head saying she's been notified anonymously that you've been paying for Alchemax home services with gambling money, what do you have to say about that?"

"I- that is a th- thing with SoloGameMedia, ah, they are a parent company to a gambling franchise, therefore every transaction from them is registered as gambling profit- but I test games with- from them directly! It's a side hustle- thing, I- that, I DO NOT playtest games during work hours! Only on-"

"Why do you think I should hire you?”

You are caught off guard by the most basic interview question.

“Hhhhhh WELL… because you need a secretary now?”

He’s already looking back down at the files again. You can see NYPD files, apparently he’s now looking at your small criminal record. You also notice his shirt is unbuttoned on the top. For curiosity's sake, you discreetly raise up on your toes to see down his cleavage. It's deeper than you expected. One mighty flex and that shirt will send buttons flying everywhere. He looks back up as you quickly drop back down on your heels.

“Yeah. Mmm. Ok. So you are way in over your head in college and credit debt, you have been gambling as a means to get by- really don’t care about that, and you did not dispute your boss's ultimatum when you had the chance."

"Wait, what?"

"Four years ago, when your boss gave you the ultimatum to get demoted or get fired. His proposal was ILLEGAL."

Your gut twists.

"That- that was illegal?!"

"You had six months to report him and you didn't. Why?"

"Be- because I just thought he was being fair, I-"

"I'm sorry, but you got screwed."

He looks sincere behind those nerdy lenses with his pout lips. You really want to throw something right now.

“I… oh…”

"Look, the most I can do is re-open your case," he says as he pushes his glasses back up his nose bridge, "You might get a small settlement out of it, but even that isn't guaranteed."

"So... I'm not getting the job?"

"How do you expect to get hired with such an unexceptional history of white collar crime and a meek attitude that's gotten you nowhere? Hey Lyla? Is this all we have?”

An AI assistant pops up from the interactive desk.

“This is the last one, sir.”

“Okay, cool. Look I’m sure you’re actually great at your job, but I have places to be-“

“Wha- well so do I!”

“Uh huh, nice talking to you,“ he scoots his chair back and hits his knee on the tiny desk, sending empty bottles scattering all over the room. He cringes.

“Well if I’m so unexceptional, why was I accepted for an interview?!”

“I’m gonna guess because of some algorithmic lottery? Probably to do with the amount of experience you have in your department, I dunno,” He guesses as he attempts to gather the bottles by sweeping them under the desk with his shoes, “If you wanna blame someone for the short interview time, thank those other time-wasters who came before you. I gotta go.”

“Now WAIT a… minute”

He stands up from his tiny desk as you say that. He’s towering over you with a tired expression and loose strands of hair about his face.

“What?” He asks, all friendliness gone.

“Can we continue this interview at a different time? You obviously haven’t found a secretary you want, but you still need one, right?! I could be the one you need even if I’m not the one you want!”

It takes every inch of your being to not slap yourself on the forehead. He is scrunching his nose, squinting down at you with mild contempt. You get a good look at his sharp, broad temples and cheekbones, complete with a hardened jaw. His thick dark lips are pulled to one side in annoyance and are accentuated with a pair of jowls that look poised to bite at any time like some kind of deep sea angler fish. His eyes are very dark. They almost look red…

His expression goes blank as he sighs.

“Okay.”

“Great! Ah, when?!”

“Tomorrow, same time.”

“Grabsolutely- Great- fantastic! I won’t let you down!”

“Uh huh.”

He leaves. You assume you should leave too. You awkwardly follow him. He grabs his coat off a nearby chair, and you get a brief display of his amazing body shape as he flips the coat over his shoulders. You avert your attention to the floor, already feeling disrespectful after having looked down his shirt. Now you are both in the elevator. You are doing all in your power not to pass out over your small lucky break.

O’Hara pretends you aren’t there as he looks at his phone and chats with his AI assistant.

“Lyla, push the evening meeting to tomorrow as well, except an hour earlier.”

“Roger that!”

“I need coffee.”

“Roger that also!”

“Please, PLEASE tell them to not add cream. I really hate when they do that.”

You wanna ask him if he’s lactose intolerant but you already pushed your luck today.

Apparently he is exiting the building in the same way you are going, but he's booking it with long ass strides and it's difficult to keep up. You both end up on the same elevator again, this time with other people. He awkwardly acknowledges you with a blank smirk and brow raise, then promptly looks back down at his phone. Everyone else is trying not to bother him.

"Hello, Mister O'Hara, I didn't realize you were here! Hi!" says a lady who is shooting her shot at a social connection (she totally knew he was there.)

"Ah, hey. Miss...?"

"Stacy Brian! We met at the Student Festival earlier this year."

"Oh, right, right! Miss Brian, how are you?"

"Doing well! I didn’t know you wore glasses!"

"Oh- I totally forgot these were on my face," he admits while taking them off and trying to find a place to stash them, "I actually don’t wear glasses, it's- um, I have issues with bright computer screens."

You discreetly watch him in the elevator wall reflection as he quickly swaps the lenses out for a pair of red sunglasses. The elevator doors open and everyone flows out into the foyer. You realize you never got his card.

"Hey one more thing, sir!" You call out to him.

"What?"

"I don't have your number! What if we need to reschedule?!"

"Ah, right. Get your phone out, please."

He turns back around and searches for something on his phone. With a swift flick of his hand, he air drops his ID and number to your device.

"Thank you!"

"¡De nada!"

He swiftly leaves through the front doors and trots down the steps. You watch this huge marvel of nature hail a cab. The automated transporter car is so small that he has to bring his shoulders in tight to fit through the doorway. This seems to have more to do with him not wanting to snag his nice jacket.

A man of this position and wealth... hailing a cab? Must be in THAT much of a hurry. You look down at the data he sent you. His ID photo looks like they took his picture after pulling an all-nighter, and his half-hearted smile reveals his crooked teeth. But somehow he still looks great in an unconventional way.

•°《💀》°•

You drive home, feeling both anxious and also deflated. Miguel O'Hara was a mixed bag of what you expected. Speshall hyped him up as a sexy hunk of the year and Brody felt so intimidated that he went on an unwarranted Alpha Male rant, but the guy was so awkward with his tiny desk and water bottles and weird glasses, and he was whining to his AI helper about his coffee. He’s a large… finicky… lactose-intolerant nerd, but he's also got the moxy to move mountains. What’s more, now ya gotta think of what to say to him in the next interview. What could be expected of a guy like that? What if he cancels the meeting and your chance is lost forever?

Your car makes it home and you sit in it for a moment. Speshall left you a text asking about the interview.

Went weird, you text back.

"Welcome back, tenant 27," the AI apartment valet greets.

You open your car door and notice you've been parked over the grates again. You remember when you last dropped your phone in this spot, the fucking thing went right in between the grate holes and you couldn’t get it back for a week. You have the presence of mind to upload the latest bit of information (O'Hara's phone number) to your data cloud.

You walk through the parking garage. You know all the safe routes. It didn’t matter who you were, Nueva York was never safe at night.

You hear footsteps to your left but it’s just a couple of people walking together, a man and woman trying to huddle. The garage opening is just ahead. You go ahead and march out, not looking back.

You step out into the warm breeze of middle-class Nueva York. The wind is artificial, billowing from the hydro-electric plants that keeps this city running. It took you forever to get here, a lot of cheap-skating, white lies, and debt piling to maintain this life, but you are here! Unapologetic holo screens buzz near you as you walk, begging you to spend money as they light up the way to your apartment. There's no point in tapping their "no" buttons since that just wastes your time. The screens showcased brand-new cars, beautiful clothes, and radiant health. If you had more money, at least some of that could be yours. You hate that people roll around in all the wonderful things this world has to offer while you have to make do with decade old clothing and over-processed food. Where the hell is everyone getting it all from? When the hell will you get yours?

“Hey! Wanna buy a shared data cloud?!”

You are now being bothered by a salesman. You say nothing and keep walking. Even saying no opens more dialogue. He gives up but another comes at you.

“Wanna be a part of the elite task force that edits any and all articles about Thor?! It’s a paying job! $100 an hour!”

As dystopian as it sounds, $100 an hour won’t get you far in Nueva York, not in this era of quadrillionaires.

“Hey, I saw ya on da street earlier! Ya walked into traffic!”

You accidentally glance over at the familiar voice talking about the familiar subject. He’s got you. Your eyes are fixated on a creepypasta face, his irises flashing in a hypnotic pattern. This was way worse than the idea of the guy being just a flasher.

He’s a black market demon. The worst street hawker known to man.

You can’t remember much else besides him taking you by the hand and leading you away.

_________________________________________

Next: ACT 2 | BLACK MARKET DEMONS

[katethevampire]

All right so the new episodes just came out like 20 minutes ago for me (oh yeah me from the future here it ended up taking me about 3 hours to finish watching the episodes cuz I kept pausing to write stuff in between so uh yeah lol) so everything under the cut will be my live reaction to everything. I'll add time stamps so you know where I'm at in the episodes. I can guarantee you that I will be sticking to my promise about potentially eating paper if I'm wrong about Sir Pentious not dying. Which honestly now I'm not sure if anyone will die, it was pretty much confirmed in a live stream that angel dust isn't going to be the one to die so my money is on one of the Angels. Also I'm using voice to text and while I'll try and fix any misspellings or wrong words I might miss them.

LOTS OF SWEARING PROBABLY also I very much abuse capslock

EPISODE 7

00:51- I love Sir Pentious looking at Keke I just thought I should mention that

01:03- OH MY GOD NO KEKE MOVED TO HIS LAP AND HE'S PETTING HER I LOVE HIM SM

01:10 aw Alastor was sleepy you guys woke him up!

01:22- I CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE RAZZLE AND DAZZLE BEING CUTE CHARLIE IS CRYING

01:29- he did the gay little hand thing

01:50- okay so I've already seen this part because of the small leak but I cannot get over the fact that Alastor has his shoes on the bed!! Like man take those off you're getting it dirty!!!!

01:59- mfs kicking his feet on the bed acting like a high school girl about to ask out her crush on the phone at a sleepover like dude you're a serial killer you can't do this to me 😭 also I should probably slow down cuz I'm making an update literally every 2 seconds

02:18 BROS CHECKING HIS NAILS AND DOING THAT POSE WHILE MAKING FUN OF HER ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE UNINTENTIONALLY MIGHT HAVE CAUSED THE DEATHS OF MILLIONS 💀💀💀 so fruity i love

2:33- Alasto be like "it's called masking deary. Ever heard of it?"

2:44- if he wasn't saying this in such an evil manner right now I'd be saying he's so me frfr

3:07- what do I even say to that line. He popped off but also like respectfully I think I've heard a third grader say the exact same thing

3:53- OKAY SO I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING BUT I'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN LOOK AT THIS FRAME, this could easily be the profile picture for someone's film review channel and I'm not 100% sure that people will understand what I mean by that unless you know a very specific person

04:38- Alastor is in his hat man era

4:33- okay so a few things, thank you subtitles for telling me that the music is edgy I feel like just the word tense would have worked on its own but I appreciate it nonetheless. Number two, I don't like seeing the girlies be mad at each other :(

05:34 I will support my boy Sir Pentious through and through he did nothing wrong!!

06:54- not the voice I was expecting for Rosie but pop up Queen she speaks the truth

07:24- ROSIE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE ALASTOR. Also his confusion, I love him so much

11:04- she's kind of like that one Pokemon

Ad time!- I DON'T CARE ABOUT VITAMIN PILLS THAT DOUBLE MY LIFESPAN

11:13- catabettes! Cannibals and catabettes!!! This is going into my vocabulary from now on. Also this frame that I paused at I love her face.

11:57- ugh, susan. All my homies hate Susan

12:54- I have a dream, I'm here to cause a scandal in the cannibal square

13:37- :( well it wasn't obvious to me I just thought the x over the eye was to look cool :(

14:35- SONG FUCK YEAH

15:26 If this song came out years ago I know for a fact there would have been an undertale parody version of it. Also I just got a cosmic brownie and some chocolate milk let's go guys we're eating good tonight

16:00 HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE CAN JUST GROW BACK HER WINGS

16:30- therapist Rosie is not something I thought I'd be seeing today but honestly I love it. Also I don't think I'm going to be able to finish these episodes today because I'm only a little over 15 minutes through and I've been watching for like almost over half an hour and also I just realized that what if Lucifer is the one that dies?

18:12 ALASTOR GAVE HER HIS MICROPHONE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A BAJILLION CRYING PIECES RAHHHHHH

19:38 I'm going crazy I'm going insane right now bro literally what how I don't know what to say I love this act I don't know, it's just really good I don't know what to say like this is cool I don't I DON'T KNOW! IT'S I I LIKE IT everybody in cannibal town is cool and I like them and it's like 10 seconds later now and they're literally So based like free food like so me I don't know I'm just rambling at this point

20:56 ALASTOR AND ROSIE'S LITTLE DANCE THEIR LITTLE TIPPY TAPS OH MY GOD YES

21:06- alastor, you know it's not right to make someone your political puppet. Your little dances are cute though so I'll allow it for now.

I don't know why it thought I was speaking Spanish for a second but anyways that episode was really cute and good and I liked it but I'm also scared for the next episode cuz like now I'm wondering is someone actually going to die or were people just lying. I feel like either Adam is going to be the one to die or it's going to be Lucifer cuz they mentioned a lot in the previous episode about how Charlie needs to take up the throne and get ready to take her place on the throne like why does she need to take her place on the throne? Isn't that her dad's job??? Please don't kill Lucifer off please please please 🙏 also I'm still not on board and probably will never will be on the whole political puppet thing. Like I just know I just have a feeling in my bones that alastor's favor is going to be something like "Let me be the ruler of hell lololol" or something anyways

EPISODE 8

01:01-Why are you watching other men get fucked?🤨 (/j)

01:19 🥺 I love 🥺 I oove him so 🥺 so much 🥺🥺🥺 does he have a spatula like spongebob

02:02- wait so how is Vox watching them like does he have bug cameras in the air like those little guys in v3 (woah now I have to put a Danganronpa spoiler on this)

03:42 SOFT ALASTOR FANFICTION WRITERS QUICK WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!!!

04:18- I'm not even the biggest huskerdust shipper but awwwww also I don't ship him with anyone but I just want to see Sir Pentious happy pleaseeee also the little Melody of loser baby in the background

04:48- ugh I am clutching my heart right now Sir Pentious is my SON and I LOVE HIM

04:58- what the fuck that ao3 tag was canon this WHOLE TIME???? WHEN DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS?????

05:05- I told you angel dust wasn't going to die

05:38- it's like the song but different! Reprise it's called a reprise also is Mimzy gonna come back

07:15- Vox, you know that you guys are going to die if they lose too right?

Okay I can't timestamp this cuz I'll just be pausing every 2 seconds but just know that everything I'm saying after this is from 07:52 to whatever number I put after later right here->09:47

Okay, so this might be a weird comparison but you know like My Little pony Battle scenes? This feels like that in the very best way possible where they have the scenes with all the different characters fighting with the different music.

Oh my God yes Cherry bomb and angel dust I love them also that was a fire transition also I JUST NOTICED THAT SIR PENTIOUS HAT ALSO HAS THE EYE DOES HE JUST HAVE I HATS FOR EVERY OCCASION

Uh oh Adams angry he's going to do a my hero academia

Oh shit it actually worked that's not good.

I TOLD YOU I CALLED IT VOX IS HORNY

Oh my God that is such a cool shot guys someone should make that frame of Alastor their computer background

OH MY GOD WHOEVER ANIMATED THAT SCENE I LOVE YOU I'M LITERALLY GIVING YOU A METAPHORICAL KISS ON THE MOUTH IN THE PLATONIC SENSE ALASTOR LOOKED SO COOL

Guys I think Adam's going to die

😨 okay so Alastor's microphone just broke and I paused it to add that emoji but as I did the people I live with got home so I'm going to have to pause it for there? I'll update if I get prime working on my phone. Also isn't alastor's microphone alive? Maybe that's the character that died.

Update: all right I got it set up on my phone about 30 minutes later now we're resuming

09:47- okay so I think it's interesting that Alastor pretty much lost all his powers as soon as his microphone broke, my guess is probably that whoever has his soul (lilith, eve, or anyone else) gave the mic to him.

09:53- I like the detail that Alastor is still smiling even though he literally just got slammed against the wall, also Vox has the biggest hate boner for Alastor like

10:02- Alastor: "Have to disagree with you there, radio's not dead." Hun you are bleeding out I'm sorry but I don't think you can gaslight girlboss your way out of this one, also I'm sorry to tell you but the only thing they play on my local radio station now besides music is like, a show that's only on at like 7 in the morning where people call to complain about how their husband wraps Christmas presents

10:38- haha silly also EGGS!!

10:43- NO WAIT MY BRAIN DIDN'T REGISTER THAT THAT EGG WAS CRACKED THEY KILLED THE FUCKING EGG!!!!!! Angel, kill them.

11:12- no no no Sir Pentious you better not I don't want to eat paper

11:21- good for him

11:44- NO GOD DAMN IT PLEASE HAVE A REVEAL THAT ALASTOR OR LUCIFER OR SOMEONE ELSE SAVED HIM PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I AM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES

12:03- okay this is really cool but is he actually dead cuz I'll legitimately be really sad if so

12:50- *that one vine* "*gasp* Adam."

13:23- KILL HIS ASS CHARLIE

14:12 yes Vaggie, queen shit

SIR PENTIOUS ARE YOU DEAD /J OR /SRS?????

14:35 I KNEW IT I KNOW HE WAS GOING TO COME BACK I MEAN I GOT KIND OF SPOILED CUZ I I SAW THE COVER OF THE EPISODE BUT WOAH 10/10 ENTRANCE

14:44- gasp! His face!

15:00- he is, so stupid. I love him.

15:51-okay I went quiet for a minute cuz there were so much happening but oh my God what do I even say this is just so cool also I don't know if this is intentional or not but the blood stain on Charlie's hair is shaped like an apple

16:34- NIFFTY RAHHHHHHH

17:08- wait okay I had a brief thought that maybe lute was actually Eve but I think I'm wrong on that

17:13- Sir Pentious would've liked pancakes :((((((

Ad Time! I don't care about hard Rock Cafe I just want to know whether or not Sir Pentious is actually dead please I'm going through all the stages of grief right now and Brandan Rogers just came on my screen as Katie killjoy please

18:04- Keke :(

Oh my God they're going to find him in the rubble right? ... Right?? Right guys right???????

18:10- fat nuggets survived that's good I see a rock that looks suspiciously shaped like Sir Pentious military hat whoa guys I wonder if that means anything and it looks like it's up like someone is standing? Whoa I wonder if they'll check behind that rock please

18:16- wait is he actually dead I'm genuinely about to cry

19:16- I am not crying about his death until the episode ends I am not crying until it is 100% CONFIRMED that he died

20:50- omg alastor's alive, he's in his Jack's skeleton era that means that maybe Sir Pentious is also-

21:08- friends :) he said friends just saying

22:04- I TOLD YOU I FUCKING TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU THAT BY DYING IT WAS JUST A CHARACTER BEING REDEEMED I TOLD YOU I'M SO SMART I'M NOT EATING PAPER HAHAHAHAHA I'M THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE HE'S NOT DEAD MY SNAKE BOY ISN'T DEAD HOW DID I GET SO ATTACHED TO HIM I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE HIM YES I CAN'T EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW I'M GENUINELY SO HAPPY THIS IS WHY THIS IS WHY I WAITED UNTIL THE VERY END TO CRY ABOUT HIM I KNEW HE WASN'T GOING TO BE DEAD THEY WOULDN'T KILL HIM OFF THEY WOULDN'T KILL MY SNAKE BOY OFF JUST LIKE THAT

22:34- you're telling me Lilith was just doing hot girl shit on the beach for 7 years.

[majachee]

Okay so I know this is from a while ago so feel free to not answer

but do you have any more on your Tmnt Shattered Glass Au? Specifically Donatello. But all take any info you have lol

IM ALWAYS DOWN TO TALK ABOUT MY SILLY AUS, EVEN IF I HAVENT MENTIONED THEM IN A WHILE !!!

SO... Donatello lore.. 👁👁

Donatello's personality was the hardest for me to really swap, despite the answer seeming very obvious in hindsight.

Donatello in the SG universe still retains his intelligence, but he abuses it for selfish memes and relies on malicious incompetence in order to get his brothers and underlings to do stuff for him. Not because he's lazy or anything, but because he enjoys making people do things for him.

He likes the act of manipulation a lot more than what he gets out of it, if the result is lackluster he fixes it up a bit and takes all the credit, or he uses it to throw someone under the bus.

His biggest flaw is his massive ego, which he feeds by taking advantage of others and getting praised for it.

He's been eyeballing these cool new things called "the brainworms" teehee.. He hopes he can use one on someone. For Science(tm) (ie his own enjoyment)

Bro is... not a good guy, and I'd imagine he'd be very easy to hate if I were to ever write and publish a fic for this AU. He's an ego-centric bully that manipulates and holds his intelligence over his brothers' heads (primarily SG Leo and Raph being his victims, the latter more than the forward.) He gets worse before he gets better, though, I ain't giving this kid a bad ending. It takes a while to get there, though. :^[

He does not have a crush on April, he never got the chance to meet April face-to-face before the main story. The Kraang and Utrom have switched places in this AU as well, so April's story with them changes drastically as a result.

OG Donnie definitely butts heads with his counterpart the *most* out of everyone. The second the OGs and SGs properly meet, it is ON SIGHT between those two... which is part of the reason why it takes so long for SG Donnke to even consider switching sides. The brainwashing and the personality he has are the main factors, but the counterpart beef deffo ain't helping. 💀

The ages haven't been swapped around a lot, with the exception of SG Michelangelo's. SG Mikey spent a few years in Dimension X for a mission once Splinter discovered the time difference, so now Mikey is a few years older than the rest of his brothers. However, the social hierarchy goes Mikey -> Donnie -> with Leo and Raph tied at the bottom. Even if Donnie was still older than Mikey, he would still be in second place. Fun factoid. Lol.

[hobidreams]

hiya miss rain!!!!! it’s been a hot minute, i missed you🥹 i just applied for my first ever job!!! i had the interview two days ago and it went really well; the interviewer was really kind to me because i was the youngest in the group of applicants. i think it’s also because i was the only undergraduate there, but i’m not complaining lol. (also i got in!! my orientation is tomorrow, so i’m really anxious about it but at the same time i feel like i’m ready to take the next step y’know?) soon i’ll be working from home as an english tutor🫶

i don’t think i’ve ever mentioned that i’m actually a creative writing major!! so yeah, i am now a workshop veteran🤣 my cnf prof had us workshop every essay we made, so i really bonded with my group. nothing brings people together like opening up abt trauma, that’s for sure💀 it’s def my fave genre so far though, since i’ve already taken realist and non-realist fiction hehe. i’ve heard of the crane wife, but i haven’t read it yet! i’ll give it a shot one of these days, since it’s already vacation for me🫶 def not taking summer classes this time around, lord knows i am Drained💀💀

i’m so glad to hear you did well though!! you’re a Certified Girlboss, and i love to see you thrive🫡 how is law school? any fun anecdotes?👀 are you on vacation as well? if so, i hope you’re resting lots!! you deserve it hehe🫶 that’s all from me hehe i hope ur well!!

-🌿

babie!!!! huge congrats on the new job. how has it been going so far? <3 <3 <3 i hope its everything you dreamed of 💗

how many years do you have left?? omg i can't believe its been so long,,, i feel like you just told me you were in first year LOL 😭 time is passing by so fast and im on such a rollercoaster. but i hope youre enjoying your major <3 i miss my crwr classes so fucking much omg.... yes LMFAO cnf was rly "ive never met you but here is my deepest scar i guess" such a wild time

not many fun anecdotes from law school unfortunately but the trauma bonding is real...... oh i do have a really handsome professor that's my supervisor for a thesis-like project this term. every time we have a meeting im like 😍😍😍 LOL. hes so kind and smart and im rly lucky to be working w him!!!! i cannot wait for this entire term to be over though ugh.

i hope youve been well 🥺🥺 im rly sorry i havent been replying or on here as much as i'd like. im trying to plan so many things that my brain is just jumbled aljdsfkj

[al-the-remix]

Wolf cub cult 👀

Wolf Club/Cult

This is the one I'm struggling the most with!!! And tbh could use some direction lol.

I did the thing that I'm frequently guilty of doing where I start the fic off strongly in one tone and then get indecisive later on and start coming up with ideas that are better suited to a fic with an entirely different tone and don't know what direction to take anymore.

The basic premise of this fic is based on these two posts 1 & 2

When I was first working on it I wanted the tone to be lighter and more cracky because most of my other wips are so dark and angsty 💀 but now I really want it to be more culty and ritualistic and I'm twiddling my thumbs about deleting and reworking what I do have (pain).

My original idea for the fic: Steve receives an invitation for the Greyson Wolf Club, he's confused as to why he's receiving it now of all times as it's not really his vibe and also he's soooo old, his pussy is sooo dry :'^( *world's smallest violin plays*. Steve attends a charity event at the Detroit club house. Sid's there (!!!). Steve finds out Sid's responsible for him receiving an invitation to join the "pack". [Some stuff happens?? the charity drive auctions off dates or something?? steve bids on sid??? or something else entirely i'm not committed to this plot line] Sid and Steve fuck.

My new idea: Sid's now the one getting the invite to the pack. In this version it's less frivolous and more revered. Steve is already part of the pack and is an important and respected member/omega. He's already got a few kids. There's some kind of pack joining ritual, like a pack/omega run or something? This one would go harder on the ABO instincts.

The other thing I'm undecided on is wether it's full, partial, or no shift abo/werewolves. It should probably be full or partial, but I already have one wip where sid fucks steve as a werewolf-like monster and another where they fuck when sid's a partial shift werewolf (play the game to learn more lol) and i'm trying my best not to write the exact same porn thrice 😭

This is the rough opening I currently have for the fic (old version):

Steve stared at his inbox, his cursor hovering over the email at the top of the queue for the third time this week. It had been sent about a month ago now and every time he did happen to open it and read it he would mark it unread and send it back to the top so that he wouldn’t lose it in the deluge that flooded his inbox daily.  With a sigh he opened up the email one more time, just to be sure. He clicked through to the website prompter and was immediately bombarded with prompts to join the Feed The Wolf newsletter and various levels of membership.   Scrolled past all of the garish wolf-branded polos and hoodies. He knew that’s not what he was being offered. Hell, he didn’t even like golf--he suffered it mostly for the sake of his social life--but that was beyond the point. He could admit to himself privately that he thought the whole thing way pretty silly—and quite probably cult adjacent.   They had taken them this long to send the offer so, why now? Steve was old and retired and to be quit honest with himself and everyone around him, reaching the end of his years where he’d be appealing to that sort of pack. Packs for the rich and famous who’s schedules were too hectic or had grown distant from their brith pack with fame. There were many reason to join a club like this one; many used it as a substitute for dating apps, other as a social club, and some simply for business connections. Steve, who still held close ties with his family pack, found it mostly superficial. They had merchandise for god sakes—be he supposed for some that was part of the draw. What was the point of being associated with a pack like this if you couldn’t brag about it.  If they wanted him that badly it would be rude to refuse the offer, it was [ounded in Detroit after all. What could it hurt, Steve thought to himself, and clicked accept. 

[satocidal]

Loved it? Oh, God, you have no idea how much I loved it!

Like, it was softer than I expected and I adored it (I guess I'm too used to my old usual angst coming from my own fingers lmao) and I adored how it felt so realistic honestly like I could totally see Suguru liking someone bold and lively and seemingly almost opposite of himself! (after all, he is Satoru's best friend, lol(

As for Haunting Adeline, it's good (got to like page 150 or so out of almost 600) but I adore so much the tension and how Zade is both a manipulator but deeply obsessive with Addie, ngl

(Can one tell I'm deeply into Alpha/Omega? No? Should I make it clear with a long, detailed description?😅)

I will have to read that Cult!Geto. A lil bit mean, yummy 😋 (especially if he's mean with his d and hand wrapped around my throat—)

As for my friend, she's amazing, but going through a lot lately. Family stress + a relative being unhealthy + first year of Uni knocking+ mental illness is never a nice combo so I do get her but it's like the fifth day and i don't worried as fuck

Did I miss something? 🤔

Oh! The 13 and 15 year difference between us is not that bad considering they're rlly good kids and I love them dearly, ngl. But it does get exhausting. Especially considering I was in a very stressful situation myself not too long ago and still live in it a little (Uni sucks the will from my soul sometimes). Their love does make it worth tho (and the free food and coffee lmao)

Also, it's kinda payment in my mind for how much my sis is helping me rn even tho she'd never hold it over my head (I need new glasses. And while I had the money to spend on said glasses, I had 0 for food and cigs and she's helping me on this one)

But yes, I agree Hacker!Suguru is just ughh. Like, a lil (maybe more) obsessed, absolutely the type to give you the chills, surely could and has killed some really nasty dudes such as traffickers…yeah

Never getting over Suguru being big and strong and intimidating even tho he's such a kind soul, genuinely. I love him dearly (he looks very hot wiping someone else's blood from his skin, sorry not sorry)

~🦊

I love how long this is— and tbh, i knew what I was writing wasn’t like, what you exactly asked for but I was sort of using that idea in a Satoru fic and 😭 yes. Because angst in fact is>>>> and tbh why I see him going for someone like that is because it probably makes him learn a lot, like shows perspectives yk?

Personally I’m not into yandere or omega/alpha dynamics but the maybe I’ve just not delved into the right stuff — altho I think I won’t be into it, I feel like I should try reading on it more to get a good idea on it. As in, it helps writing but be my guest and explain as much as you’d like lmao

I won’t spoil much and it’s not any particular plot lmao I just initially wanted to write smut but then idk and it’s like cult geto and you’re a non-sorcerer but at the same time he’s sort of in love with you (classic and obviously). I don’t expect much interaction on it with people and I’m so afraid because many people (like yk the bigger and more popular fandom writers) have already done this idea so it is overdone slightly? But I just wanted a go at it.

That’s good for you for sure because I personally could never💀 I just really don’t at all like kids and I do hope things get better for you soon.

And I just saw this feel like this hacker guy and this girl (idk what movie’s edit it was but istg that’s my inspo now) though I do apologise because it may take me a day or two (a week?) to deliver because I got this test coming up. And suguru who can manhandle you>>> wait though- suguru wiping your blood (just as an idea sorry if you’re not into that!)

[their80smichelle]

Hello again! It's insane where Alice Cooper goes, thank god he doesn't only visit the capital cities like some other American artists do when coming to Europe 🙏🏻 I'm also surprised good seats at Roger Daltrey shows are cheaper than nosebleed tickets for Queen + Adam Lambert (which I had tickets for 5 years ago but sold them because I couldn't go) and I paid more for regional bands than for bigger glam bands 💀

I have a whole list of obscure bands which I'll give you after Christmas because some are too specific when you look at my main lol

By top 100 I meant the 2024 top songs from Wrapped! And I'm planning to write down all records, CDs and cassettes I listen to next year because my 12,179 minutes on Spotify are ruining my music lover reputation haha

Out of my top 5, I only expected the first artist and first two songs, I didn't know I listened to the others as much 😅 being among the 0.005% listeners of She's Tight by Cheap Trick is not my proudest moment so I'm skipping the Wrapped posting on other social media 💀

Speaking of vinyls and CDs, how many do you have? Do you mostly buy them new or second hand? In physical stores or online?

- 🎄

Hii ! Sorry for not replying for a moment !

Alice Cooper must love going everywhere cause he litterally is everywhere X)

Queen + Adam Lambert tickets were over 200€ for a decent placement 💀 nosebleed tickets is definitely the word !

All the prices for any concerts are fucked up it's like they're randomly choosing a price and are like "mmh sounds good"🗿

I'm manifesting and praying for Guns N' Roses tickets but no matter the price I think I'll still buy it😩

I'll gladly take the recommendations ahah !!

HEY ! I did wrote all the albums I've been listening to this year !! That's quite a lot I'll try to see how many hours it makes and I'll tell you XD

Well for the wrapped I wasn't really surprised of anything I've been listening on repeat the same 10 songs 🤣 wait that's my wrapped ;

I'm very surprised and a bit upset there's AC/DC tbh cause I was only listening to 5 of their songs and not even everyday when I was listening to Hanoi Rocks 7/7 and more than one album :/

What was yours ???

NOOOO no shame 😩 I was blasting Girls, Girls, Girls dancing on it like a groupie

Ahah I have a lot of vinyls like some are from my grandparents and I'm buying originals when I find them sooooo a lot ahah !

Idk how it's called in english so I'll say

41 "big" vinyls and I can't count how many "little" vinyls but probably around 50+ 😭

After Christmas we can talk about it if you want ! Last treasure I found was Europe Final Countdown original (I have a funny story about this one) and Van Halen 1984 original!

And for CDs I have (from bands I actually listen to) 21 CD :D 🗣now where did my money goooo🗣

It's still less expensive than therapy.

I try to find the originals record from 1980 for exemple so clearly second hand and in physical music store cause I'm not trusting online shop enough or at least for vinyls :')

And you ??

[joekeeryswife]

hello lovely! May i request a Joseph x afab reader where reader and joseph have been dating for a while but out of nowhere she gets hate from his fans (joe isnt aware) and reader wants to break up because of it? but joseph comforts her once he finds out 🥺💗

Break Up? - J.Q

hello my love! i’m writing this whilst listening to Queen #lovethem. but i hope this angst to fluff is okay! let me know how you guys found it, (kinda changed it so she’s been getting hate for a while sorry) has a few mistakes but enjoy <3

you and Joseph had been together for two years, you met on the set of Stranger Things as you were a hair and makeup stylist and somehow you guys just clicked from the day he came into your makeup trailer. you moved in together a few months ago and it was the best decision you ever made. you got to wake up to him every morning and that just allowed you guys to get closer which you didn’t think was possible. Joseph had gone out that afternoon to see a few friends and you decided to stay home, not really feeling like going out when your phone buzzed uncontrollably.

you had posted a new picture to both instagram and twitter, it was one which Joseph had taken on your date night last night and you felt really pretty so you didn’t really mind posting it. you went ‘exclusive’ with Joseph last year on your one year anniversary when he wasn’t really well known but had a few fans and at the time his fans didn’t really mind but now he was properly famous the amount of hate you got was disgusting.

these so called fans would pick apart every single thing about your appearance. how your body was, how your face looked when you smiled, how you would do your makeup. just every single thing they could find wrong with you they’d comment on leaving you with little to no self confidence. you didn’t tell Joseph, he didn’t run his social media so you didn’t have to worry about him seeing it. but in all honesty you had no idea what you had done to deserve this level of hate, there were a few nice comments scattered in the hundreds of horrible ones but the nasty ones outshined the kind ones.

you decided to look at your instagram and just look through those comments, see if maybe they’d changed their minds and decided to finally be nice but you were wrong. so very wrong. you scrolled and scrolled through the comments, tears welling up in your eyes as you read them. you wanted to look away but you couldn’t, seeing how people really viewed you just broke your heart. you never really cared about peoples opinions until now, the comments had really affected you.

‘god she is just the most ugliest thing i’ve ever seen’

‘now i’m not one to be rude but she is just disgusting’

‘why does her face look like that?’

‘how can come one as beautiful as Joseph Quinn date someone as ugly as her? i hope they don’t have kids💀’

‘her smile is so funny like why does she smile like that😭’

‘now if i was Joseph’s family i’d tell him straight, she is not good enough for him and will never be good enough for anyone.’

‘anyone in the comments telling her she’s pretty is absolutely lying, no one finds her pretty they’re telling her that to make her feel better lol’

‘girl what the hell is this, do us a favour and just delete this’

‘Joseph my love you need to get with Grace PLEASE! im begging you get away from this rat’

so many disgusting comments you could barely see with your tear filled eyes. the one last comment that caught your eye made the tears spill over. ‘why does she look like that? honestly i’m wondering how someone can look like that and wake up every morning next to Joseph. that should be Grace Van Dien not her’. you’d had enough. you chucked your phone on the sofa, hands coming up to your face as you sobbed into your hands. how can people be so cruel when you had done nothing wrong?

you couldn’t deal with it anymore. the hate and the comparing just was all too much. they were right. Joseph deserved someone better than you, you didn’t care if it was Grace or a supermodel, anyone who wasn’t you deserved Joseph more. your mind was already set, when Joseph came home you were going to end things. you couldn’t take the hate you were receiving for just existing and he did deserve someone better than you.

Joseph had no idea any of this was happening. he had seen you change recently, becoming more reserved and quiet but he thought maybe it was your time of the month and he didn’t want to impose and make you feel uncomfortable. he arrived home a lot earlier than expected, becoming bored and he just missed you. sitting on the sofa watching films whilst cuddling sounded so much better then staying out. he unlocked the front door, hearing painful sobs coming from you. he hurriedly shut the door and followed the sound of your sobs finding you on the sofa with your head in your hands.

“y/n sweetheart what’s the matter?” Joseph said, sitting down on the sofa opposite you, pulling you into his arms as your sobs grew louder. he could hear the pain and hurt in them, something awful must have happened for you to be crying like this. he’d never heard you cry as hard as this, we’ll, maybe once when you got to the end of Marley and Me but other than that never. you tried to talk but you couldn’t, to hurt from the comments.

“sweetheart calm down, take a deep breath and try relax okay? follow my breathing” he whispered, his hand running up and down your back as he tried to calm you down so he could find out what was wrong. once you had calmed down enough to talk, you pulled away but looked down at your hands, fiddling with your fingers as you tried to find the right words to tell Joseph that you couldn’t be with him anymore. as much as it pained you to do so you knew you needed to to stop getting the hate.

“i just-” you sighed, tears not stopping, Joseph watched you with a nervous look, fear filling his body. “i just think it may be best if we don’t continue this” you said, voice breaking at the end of your sentence. breaking up with him definitely hurt more than the hate comments. your whole relationship with Joseph had been beautiful, from the dates, late night cuddles, late night drives, just everything about it was perfect and breaking this off just felt like a waste.

“i- what? i’m confused.” Joseph said, heart breaking as he watched your face twist as you tried to keep your sobs at bay. “we can’t continue this relationship. i just- you deserve someone better and i think maybe you should find someone else” you said, chin quivering slightly. Joseph stared at you stunned as you played with the acrylics on your fingers. he let go of you and rubbed the hair on his chin, still confused as to where this was coming from. you had been fine this morning and now all of a sudden you want to break up? it just didn’t add up.

the room was silent except from a few sniffles and hiccups here and there from you. “y/n where is this coming from? you were fine this morning sweetheart. i need you to tell me what’s the actual matter so i know what i can do to fix it. i don’t want anyone else but you” Joseph said, turning back to you seeing a pained expression on your face. maybe you should tell him about how his fans are making you feel, he at least deserved to know that.

you got up from the chair and walked to where you had chucked your phone, unlocking it again to show him what you had been sent. you sat back down on the sofa and passed him the phone, he was even more confused now. you ushered down at the phone and then he saw it, the hundreds of comments all hating on you. he read the very few of the hundreds and his heart ached. the main ones he saw were ‘she’s just so ugly’ ‘Joseph deserves so much better than her, what about Grace?’ ‘how can come one as beautiful as Joseph Quinn date someone as ugly as her? i hope they don’t have kids💀’.

he had no idea this was even happening, his social media team had never said a word to him about it and that pissed him off. you sobbed quietly as he read through the comments, his face was filled with concern and sympathy. he turned the phone off and immediately pulled you into his chest. you were still sobbing, embarrassed from how much they had gotten to you. “alright sweetheart it’s okay. i’m not going anywhere.” he whispered, pulling you onto his lap so he could pull you closer to him. “i’d never ever leave you sweetheart. i think you’re to good for me and i don’t deserve better because you’re already the best thing y/n. i love you so much” he said, running a had through your hair.

you looked up from his neck and rubbed your eyes and sighed. “they’ve been doing it for weeks and- and it just made me feel so shit about myself and i let them get to me” you admitted, a slight blush forming on your tear stained cheeks. Joseph sighed, a sympathetic smile on his face as he looked at you. “you are the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen. and i don’t care what others think about you and you shouldn’t either because they don’t know our relationship, they don’t know you sweetheart. you don’t need those lip fillers or surgeries, you’re a natural beauty and everyone is unique, nobody is perfect not even me, but to me you’re so perfect. the most perfect thing i’ve ever seen. so don’t listen to what those so called fans say because they’re just jealous.” he said, leaning in to kiss you passionately. you reciprocated the kiss, your tears finally stopping. even in the worst moments of your life Joseph was always there to help you through it and you definitely felt like he was your person, your soulmate.

[ericcartmn]

In the event I never return to Tumblr, I wanted to send you final ask, especially since you were like my online best friend.

Wow, Jasp, where do I even begin.

Well, let's start with a big thank you.

Thank you for inspiring me and giving me the courage to start blogging here in the first place. I remember being a shy anon asking you and two other Cartman blogs (funny how you and Cartmanbrah just said that you guys would be friends forever given how you two are the little reason I came here all those years ago). I met some of the nicest people who I've had the pleasure of calling my friends who I would have never met all thanks to you.

But especially thank you for all the discussions we had. Specifically regarding politics. Nobody on this site, in ANY fandom, not one goddamn person, have I met who I have been able to have such in depth political discussions. That's why, when the January 6th riot happened last year, you were the first, and only fucking person who I went to. How we, basically watched the chaos unfold together on the fateful day. That was unforgettable.

Despite our age gap (I mean 15 years is quite the difference LoL) we've always been able to have such relatable discussions. And your advice to me on things has been so so helpful. I remember going to school a lot of days and remembering the advice you would give me and I would go through the day telling myself "remember what Jasp told you". It always helped me so much!

In the event I never return to Tumblr again, which I hope doesn't happen, I just want you to know these things. I've always looked up to you as my internet big sibling. Hence why for years I've always referred to you as "brother". I will definitely cherish the times of being on this site and all the good memories. I would love to have more of these, but lately there just has been too much shit, that it's been hard to really look at it like that, hence my departure, which very well may be permanent.

Anyway, I've got some work to do. But I just wanted to send you this thanking you for all the good times over the years.

Oh, and happy early birthday, in case I don't get the opportunity to tell you next month. And I remember last year you said you wanted me to remind you of my birthday, since you felt bad, so my birthday is next Friday the 18th :)

Anyway, in the event I don't return again, I love you big bro. And I wish nothing but the best for you.

Take Care,

Killer/Zach

IM SORRY that I didn't get to answer the DM you sent me. I typed up this whole damn long reply and my phone fucked me and it didn't save and I got frustrated and didn't get around to type up another. I'm sorry but you were on my mind.

Thank you for sending this ask. First and foremost, definitely take care of yourself. Your mental health is priority and I know Tumblr and just the internet in general can be such a draining place. Especially for someone so young going through so much. (GOD... 15 year age difference 💀 I'm old as hell lmfao). But I'm so glad that I could be that person for you and that you thought of me as a big sibling, that means a lot :") it's hard for me to make connections on here because I'm so bad at not isolating myself and not reaching out or replying when I should. But it's been cool how long you've stuck around for so long.

Honestly, I think it takes a lot of strength and courage to step away from the things that you love (writing and analysis) and even though people suck, you kept it going for so long. It's okay to take a break to focus on you, and even if you don't pick it back up there will be other things to love. So many new things to learn and have fun with and surround yourself with people that care.

I hope you come back, but if you don't, you'll be dearly missed. I'll always be here if you change your mind :") And thanks for the reminder lol in case you're not around, I hope you have a good birthday.

Wishing you all the best in life.