#i want to gouge my eyes out after this lmao

[questionableresponses]

So, I (mostly) watched the recently found lost American dub of Legend of Prince Rama renamed to Prince of Light (which you can watch here). What intrigued me was Bryan Cranston, aka Walter fucking White playing Rama and James Earl Jones (Mufasa and Darth Vader) was the narrator. When I check the Lost Media Wiki for info I found that they cut the movie from 2 hours 11 minutes to about 1 hour 26 minutes (LMW states its about 39 minutes of cut stuff) and boy it was baaaaaad. Also, some scenes were swapped around wtf??. It felt like just watching an animated Adipurush really, the Americans fucked it up. Full rant/review under the cut to save your screen (image descs contain commentary). Lots of swearing be warned because I have emotions about this.

Part 1: The story stuff and emotional stuff

Alright first off, the intro got changed. It's no longer the cool ancient carving style and instead has clips from the movie with a weird ass border. Which is like fucking stupid you're spoiling moments and like it makes it feel low budget. Also, the scene of Maricha and gang fighting Rama and Lakshman was not included in the movie. The intro fails to tell about Ayodhya, Lanka, Dasharatha, just the fucking set up of the story (a lot of Hindu elements were cut out too :( damn you American Christians).

Vishvamitra and the brahmins getting attacked is the same and dandy with Vishvamita's prayer being a lot more Christian inspired (saying lord of the heavens above or something). Title screen got changed.

Ok now here is where it gets weird. They skip the showcasing of Ayodhya, showcasing of Rama and Lakshman, literally the entire Tataka fight is fucking gone, a key defining moment of Rama, it's his first fight and well kind of establishes him as the protector of Dharma! Infact, the first scene to introduce Rama was Sita's swayamvar. It makes so sense. 1. it does not establish Rama's character, he does not speak even a word (for whole 7 minutes too) 2. why would the audience care about this? It tells us nothing about our main heroes

Rama receiving the divine weapons comes immediately after because "he is of age now" (literally what). It feels out of place and serves no purpose with the cuts made.

Kaikeyi's whole thing was cut and glossed over and framed weirdly (with the close up of Manthara which makes it look like she is her). They frame her as being jealous instead of Manthara poisoning her. Then the narrator states that Dasharatha had to choose between love for his son and love for his wife and he chose his wife when that's not what happened?? Everyone who knows Ramayana knows Dasharatha was bound by his dharma and was forced to, dying from heartbreak because of it (and the curse but not relevant rn). Also Dasharatha never dies which is weird. And uhhhh why is the "Rama, why don't you blame me? Why don't you have a grudge against me?" line kept when he clearly chose his wife over him in this version?? The emotional dialogues of Dasharatha wishing for Rama to return, interactions between Rama, Kaushalya, and Kaikeyi were cut. This is just part 1 of the emotion sucking mother fuckers. Bharat meeting Rama and disowning Kaikeyi was cut :/

THEY CUT THE FUCKING PANCHAVATI SONG IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SONG WHY

They keep adding shitty ass fucking songs and new soundtrack. Maricha's dramatic screaming is certainly an uptake from his weird moaning as he died. Weirdly cut Sita having to convince Lakshman to go after Rama after hearing "his" cry for help (he just up and leaves after Sita says he needs help. After making the rekha ofc). Also, nitpicky but, Lakshman doesn't call Sita 'sister'. It just feels odd,,, he respects her a lot yet calls her by her name??? I dunno man (Bhabhi is the best word but English sucks ok sister is the best we got).

Why the fuck is Rama threatening to pick Ravan's teeth out with his bones, Sri Ramachandra would not say that 😭Anyway Jatayu's death was delivered in a goofy way.

Why is Kabandha making puns, no he was not cursed by Ravan, Kabandha never told Rama that in exchange of freeing him from his curse he would answer one question. No Kabandha was not a threat to the vanars and their food??? That's so weird??? No mention of Vali, no Rama and Sugriva swearing friendship, Rama being emotional over Sita's ornaments was trimmed down (it was a touching scene). They also cut the swearing friendship scene WHICH WAS A GOOD SCENE. Weird ass vanars trying to find Sita montage (it sucked the music was fucking ass). WHY DID THEY MAKE JAMBHAVANT THE PERSON TO CURSE HANUMAN/LOCK HIS POWERS AWAY?????

RAM DOOT HANUMAN WAS CUT WHY ARE THEY CUTTING BANGERS

One line that I thought was funny "hope they know how to set bones in Lanka because they're about to have an epidemic"

Kumbha: breaths fire American!Hanuman: oh looks like someone's been eating spicy food again! Why....

The entire Lanka Dahan was painful. "the party's just starting to heat up!" 😭😭😭

Rama did not pray for 11 days and oh they transsed Varuna's gender, interesting.

THEY FUCKED UP SETU BANDHAM WHICH IS MY FAVOURITE SONG

THEY FUCKED UP THE FIGHT MONTAGE SONG WITH THE RAKSHASAS AND VANARS THAT SHIT WAS HYPEEEEEE WHY DID YOU TRIM IT

Fucking cutting all the important dialogue. They trimmed down on the Good Ksatriya vs Good human speech. Literally one of the best scenes and they fucked it up.

WHY THE FUCK DID THEY REMOVE THE NEEL VS PRAHASTHA FIGHT IT'S LIKE ONE OF THE BEST ONES LIKE COME ON

The Sugriv and Kumbha fight was intact, which I am grateful for because it's a favourite of mine, but they changed the soundtrack and cut out his talk with Nikumbha after :/ like what did the Americans have against characters being characters. They changed the order of Nikumbha's death and Kumbhakarn's awakening and like in doing do they cut the scene that traumatised me (LOOK I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO FREAKED OUT SEEING NIKUMBHA WITH THE AXE IN HIS CHEST CALLING OUT FOR HIS FATHER OK). Also not Hanuman telling him he has bad breath 😭

Oh and this bit of gold "yOU stAnD nO ChaNCe AgAinSt mE i'M a tRaIneD aSsAsSin" - Nikumbha 2001

The bit that kind of got me laughing was when Angad confronts Ravan and says "say your prayers shorty" like isdcbjsdbcdsjh WHO WROTE THIS SCRIPT??? (Dawg I wish I could clip this shit because oh my god there is so much that you all just have to see. Defo clipping Hanuman's bad puns and jokes)

Thank fucking god Rama's Attack on Titan moment was kept intact. Tho Bryan Cranston saying Kumbhakarn was like both funny and painful "Kumbhakernnnnn" HELP. Also why did they cut the slave freeing scene???

They butchered the illusory Sita being stabbed scene. They removed the set up for it (Hanuman and Angad getting shot) and Indrajeet taunting Rama. I mean at least they didn't censor it I guess??? Two things were funny tho, Bryan over acting Rama's reaction, and Lakshman shouting "coward" at Indrajeet and getting shot immediately after like dawg they even edited his mouth to move (does take away from the scene emotionally tho as in the original he comes in front of Rama to protect him while here it just seems like he wants to start a fight which yeah in character I guess). I find it impressive that they turned the moments that always gives me anxiety to the point of chest pain into something I fucking laughed at. Kudos.

Another thing I should clip. Indrajeet saying father weirdly. It was so drawn out and airy and just talking about his plan like shut the fuck up dude talk normally😭

Now this choice was weird. You know how after Sugriv gets the news that there are no more herbs in the area and none of them work on Indrajeet's arrows and Rama starts to get depressed about the apparent death of his wife and critical state of his brother but Vibishnan is like "naw dude Sita is alive my nephew just knows magic" and Jambhavant is like "just go to Nepal they got stuff there". Well, they changed the fucking order FOR NO REASON. So now it goes, Sugriv finds out there are no herbs (no mention of Indrajeet's arrows) -> Jambhavant talks about the Himalayas -> insert shitty Hanuman montage with new song plus flashbacks -> Rama laments about his wife and brother and Vibishan is like "nah dude my nephew just a tricky bitch".

That makes no fucking sense. This just makes it confusing. Even I was confused and I've seen the movie millions of times.

Removed the landmark scene and of course obligatory Hanuman pun :/ (deadass will learn editing just so I can compile all of them). They completely cut out Hanuman praying for the protection of Lakshman and asking keep to keep up his fight for life and referring to him a s brother??? It was a sweet thing and I guess because of this they cut out Rama calling Hanuman his brother. Also cut out Rama comforting Lakshman like bro what did they have against characters having more emotional moments and interacting with each other??? Nitpicky but they cut out Hanuman smiling after the animals run down the hill and startle the other vanars. They also don't show the vanars going up the hill and fetching the herbs or applying them to Lakshman's wound he just wakes up???? Like nothing happened he just immediately stopped dying.

Hey at least Lakshman vs Indrajeet was mostly intact I would've killed them if they did anything drastic (like with Rama vs Ravan), but they did remove the banter and Indrajeet parrying arrows. Ok now the final fight, the big one. Shitty montage/song. Please I wanted to put cheese graters in my fucking ears and then pour hand sanitiser. They removed the Ravan head cutting bit (well more censored it) and like yeah that scene have me trauma as a kid but it is PART of the experience. Censored/trimmed Ravan getting sliced by the chakra. Also the chakra has no meaning now that they removed it from the intro. It came out of nowhere. It was set up perfectly and they botched it. Oh who am I kidding they botched the whole fucking movie.

Part 2: oh my fucking God the voices

Why the hell does Rama sound a soft boy uwu type who was shy in high school and is a nerd. Bryan you did not eat here. He over acted or under acted

Why is Lakshman's VA over doing his dialogue like he is putting wayyyy too much energy.

Sita's just sounds,,, like a mother of two kids but she delivered her lines mostly well I guess (her screams were impressive I will say it does seem like she's putting herself in the scene)

Hanuman was made way too fucking goofy. He was saying shitty ass puns bro and jokes (seriously, bad breath and spicy food jokes? Bajrangbali would never). Usually he's made too serious, never really too goofy. James Earl Jones was a shitty narrator I'm sorry. How did he go from Darth fucking Vader to this (I don't mean to disrespect a recent dead man but seriously).

Pretty much everyone over or under acted in areas.

Part 3: closing notes

It was painful, it deadass felt like Adipurush with the story changes made and story elements cut. What kind of crushed me was the lack of emotional moments. It really felt like nothing was achieved, everything kept moving fast, it felt like there was no character development. It just, sucked. How do you take such a great film and just do that. Furthermore, they basically stripped most of the Hindu elements in the film like the word Om isn't said much at all for starters. Anyway fellow Bhakts and chuckle fucks have fun with this shit. Watch it if you want but it is a massive shit show. Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk this review took more than a day to make and I avoided doing my 2000 word essay for this (funilly enough this is 2000 words itself).

[gu6chan]

i would kill for a cup of this right now

[pastelchad]

Coworker again asked me if I'm sure about this career path because she hates her job and maam please dont say that to me bc I'm NOT!!!!

[hyperbali]

What does Prosperina think about Varric's DATV look? (I miss her, she's lovely)

lmao you're about to hate me so bad

So, per my DATV post about My Canon™️:

He and Pina were together for a few years, but between how burnt out she was post-Trespasser and Varric’s absolute insistence on finding Solas with full intent to change his mind instead of kill him like she wanted, they went their separate ways

Proserpina Lavellan had since retired to Halamshiral, where she basically kicked the Imperial Court out of the Winter Palace, dared them to stop her (no one has tried), and made it her own 

She turned much of the property's land into an ungulate farm (sheep, goats, harts, and halla) and surrounded it with Fen'Harel statues that very specifically have their eyes gouged out

Iron Bull joined her in this retirement; they have their own set of twins! Occasionally the Chargers (now led by Krem) have stopped by to hang out for a few weeks at a time and help take care of the farm

So she's REALLY REALLY REALLY PISSED OFF that she's being forced out of retirement to help deal with TWO MORE of her own damn gods!! Solas when I fucking catch you!!!

She goes to see him when she comes to meet with Deja, and it's... bittersweet.

It's almost worse that she doesn't tell him "I told you so," after so many awful fights. It means he fucked up badly enough that she just pities him.

How would things be now, if he'd listened? Would she have come with him to Kirkwall, or would he be raising farm animals now? Would that be his child in her belly instead?

No use dwelling on the what-ifs, he supposes. He did listen when she said that, at least.

...yeah, she’s preganté during the VG events, lmao

Her eyes look different and she has facial scars due to one of the main catalysts of her retirement; one of her explosive arrows went off nearly in her face when an agent of Fen'harel ignited it from a distance. That agent was very swiftly killed when Solas heard later.

Even with significant healing efforts, the wounds couldn't be completely recovered, and she was blinded. Dorian, Jeanne, and Cole worked tirelessly to help - thus, through use of spirit magic, she can mostly see... though everything is bathed in ghostly green.

The one thing she was relieved about when Solas took her arm was that she'd never have to see that damned green light again - now, she'll never escape it.

...I figure Solas knows about all of this, but the ritual interruption would have gone very differently if he didn't--

[not-jeguluses]

resuscitation ✦ a sirius black microfic

— 706 words ; sfw ; wolfstar and platonic prongsfoot and black brother fluff ; fix it / crack lmao

“Hello?”

The first voice Sirius has heard in years and for some reason, the last one he expects to hear is Remus’. Or at least, he would be the least likely person if not for James’ cadence echoing through the narrow shoot to his cell directly after.

“Pads?”

Sirius calls out, his own voice grated from disuse, saturated in disbelief, “Guys?”

Then, the narrow gouge in Sirius’ cell where he’d been taking his meals is opening, widened by Remus’ handiwork, who is suddenly visible with his wand pointing at the stone. And next to him—

“James?!” He throws himself into his friend, unsure if he’s dreaming but not willing to waste a second of the reunion by taking any time to consider the reality of it. He wants to enjoy it.

James holds him closely, apparently uncaring of his emaciated form or rotting smell. “Sirius, you’re alright.”

“I’m alright? You died!” He shakes him without loosening his grip. “Moons, you better get in here. I’m not letting go of him but you know how terribly I’ve missed you.”

“Oh, alright.” Remus laughs and complies. “Let me get us out of here while I’m at it.”

Sirius hadn’t known that was an option. For a moment, he’s terrified. Worried that that change of scenery will wake him up. Then, there’s the tightening of apparation and he’s no longer in the oppressive atmosphere of Azkaban and instead in a cinnamon scented living room.

He’s free from the arms of his loved ones for an entire second in total before there's a mouthful of red hair and soft, freckled arms. “Happy birthday, Sirius.”  A toddler is tucked between them and he has tears filling his vision.

“This is real?”

Lily laughs in his arms but it’s not her that answers. “I hope so. I worked really hard to get here.” It comes from behind him and he pulls away from the woman only enough to see the source.

It’s Regulus, his hair the shortest Sirius has ever seen it, a contrast to the unprecedented length of his own. He’s dressed in a muggle button down and jacket but it’s visible only through his robes. He looks clean and light. Unburdened. If it wasn’t his brother, he might not have recognized him.

It’s with his eyes locked onto Regulus’ nearly identical irises, that Sirius loses consciousness.

✧˖°.♡︎⋆｡°✩

Later, when he’s feeling less lightheaded, Remus fills him in a bit and then Regulus, Lily, James, and Dumbledore stop by to explain the rest, the latter having joined them for tea and discussions after apologizing for his tardiness.

He learns of his brother’s bravery, inspired by the loss of Lily and James and his pride in his brother’s resilient pursuit of Peter. He finally confided in his knowledge of the locket, not knowing how important it was to the cause. Doubling as a spy for the Order, he had been in close contact with Snape and Dumbledore, without the knowledge of most members, who had returned his divulged information with the revelation of his theory on Voldemort’s creation of Horcruxes.

With everyone working together, it didn’t take long to gather the artifacts and destroy them. Helped further along by the sacrifice that Lily and James had made, which was returned with their lives when Voldemort’s curse magic had dissipated and undone each death carried out in the process of making Horcruxes.

“So, they just released me?”

At this, Regulus’ face falls and Remus hurries to explain. “Your release was a priority, it has been since we discovered that Peter was my counterweight. Secretly on Voldemort’s service. But the ministry is slow and—”

“Without us to prove it wasn’t you who betrayed us, it was hard securing your freedom. We’ve only been back three months and you’re already out.”

He is distracted by hands in his hair which isn’t surprising, Remus has been soothing the strands with his fingers while Sirius’ head lay in his lap for the past hour or so, but these hands are tiny and insistent.

Sirius shifts to look at Harry, who has crawled over to them from his blanket on the floor. “It’s over, then? Everyone is safe?” He asks Harry but addresses the room.

“Everyone is safe.”

[chasedeys]

We are on Ja’Marr crashing out out watch . He looks like he’s about to lose it and I don’t blame him

i keep being morbidly curious on his locker room interviews for every post game loss. like i know inside the little box is a demonic cat who will gouge my eyes out no other option about it but i want to open it anyway. and i'm pretty sure they post his clips a good while after joe's presser ends (i was awake and waiting not gonna lie lmao slept at 6 am because im stupid but was practically catatonic since the int) and wowwwww i need all of these reporters to keep away i beg. looked gorgeous! but he was on the verge of either fucking something up or breaking down into tears when they asked about defense 🤗. but also i was extremely distracted by his lashes lol beautiful tortured boy <3

[mizzmellos]

What's your Rod Ross headcanons?

YAAAAAAAAY ANON I really wanted to repost this from my old blog so thank you for literally reading my mind and giving me the chance xoxo gift wrapped for you with a bow on top MWAH

+ I mean… we all know Mello joined Rod’s gang by bringing him the head of a rival boss. But I’m pretty sure he did it… literally. How else would a gang full of 6′4″ dudes with Uzis ever take him seriously?? I love imagining him arranging an ingenious meeting with Rod one day, like, Mello somehow tricking him into talking with him, and telling him like… “so I heard you were trying to take this dude out, I can do it for you, ya know. lmao not bragging.” and Rod takes one look at him and just starts laughing his ass off. “Kid (which is what he calls Mello, btw)… I’ve lost six men to trying already, and their balls had already dropped.” Then Jose throws his ass into the street. A week later, Mello shows up at the front door of their HQ (how did he find us??? Kal gasps audibly, knowing Rod is going to kick his ass for this because everything is Kal’s fault) with a bloody pillowcase (because gift wrapping is NOT appreciated by any of those no-taste mafiosos…) and says “happy birthday, I work for you now. You’re welcome.”

+So you know that panel where Mello is sitting on the couch back perched behind Rod’s shoulder? Not a headcanon, just wanted you to think about it. :’) Here's another one btw:

+Their relationship actually has a somewhat solid basis of trust and respect. Even though Rod is an absolute maniac sometimes and would gouge your eyes out without a second thought, he’s incredibly intelligent--

PSA: READ HIS PROFILE IN VOLUME 13 YOU GOONS…. HE’S NOT JUST A BRUTE LMAO I HATE IT WHEN PPL WRITE HIM DUMB HE. IS. NOT. DUMB. he is smarter than most of the Japanese task force and of equal intelligence to lots of the ppl working with L such as Wedy, Matt… he survived a great many years of Kira eliminating criminals so he was smart and good at keeping a low profile until Mello came and fucked everything up.

--and Mello respects him for that. Even though Mello is a prissy little bitch that really only cares about what he cares about, Rod's like... well, he’s kind of a genius and his ideas have worked out in the past. And he’s pretty scary. They both like that about each other. Just generally being able to intimidate the shit out of ANYBODY that would dare look their way.

+Rod is probably pretty outwardly homophobic, and ribs Mello for being effeminate. While he doesn't ever let it go too far, he'll chime in around other members of the mafia. Both of them are secretly a little terrified of anybody finding out that they fuck around once and a while. But that's part of the thrill yk? Whenever anybody’s around, Rod always has a hooker on his leg and tries not to pay Mello any mind. But once they’re alone, Mello thinks it’s funny to bring it up.

+Speaking of letting it go too far, Rod allows any amount of verbal abuse, but has broken up more than a couple fistfights Mello’s gotten himself into with other members of the gang by “running that goddamn big mouth of his all the fuckin’ time.”

+While Rod normally backs Mello 110%, as his infallible plans have done nothing but provide a multitude of viable cash flows and absolute territorial dominance, when they have their disagreements (which get.. heated, to say the least), Mello will totally get physical. Rod finds this hilarious, considering he could literally break his neck with one hand. Anyway Rod only fought back once, when he was in a particularly bad mood, and Mello had to show up the next day skulking around with a black eye and fat lip, his lisp way worse than usual. It was the only time after Mello showed up until the day of his death that Kal actually experienced any degree of human happiness. Btw poor Kal. Read the dude's profile in HTR13 if you want a laugh. #AnneofGreenGables

+Mello was actually really surprised by how soft Rod’s scalp is. He totally oils it and his head always smells like aftershave and stale cigar smoke.

+In fact, in addition to both being super scary, they’re both super vain LOL I bet they both get their backs waxed after a long day clothes-shopping… and they both spend forever putting lotion on after their three-hour bubble baths… they spend all morning in front of the mirror while Rod shaves that WHACK design onto his face and Mello does his makeup… neither of them even looks at the other when they’re having sex because they’re too busy American Psycho-ing themselves in the mirrors they have surrounding their bed.

+They both LOVE zebra-print. Tacky fucks.

[its-actually-minicika]

What about their clash in the dungeons made Aemond obsessed with her? Was it because she fought back?

And how do you think Daeron would react/think of the way Aemond ‘forcibly’ did the things he did to her (saying this as vaguely as possible as I don’t want to spoil anyone lmao). Will it be an ‘all is fair in love and war’? This is with the assumption that Daeron is the only proper thinking male Hightower-Targ. Unless he is also depraved I do not mind if he is

I love these outtakes and I love you! Can’t wait for the next ep

AH I LOVE THESE OUTTAKES PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING 🫶

You might not have entered spoiler teritory, but I for sure will - so lemme continue this post under the cut

She definitely intrigued him - and that is incredibly important for Aemond.

Before she was captured by the Greens, Lady Tully insisted that she be allowed to fight alongside her brothers. She clashed swords with Aemond once the battle at Rook's Rest ensued - well, they fought closer to the Antlers than anything, but during the same bloodbath.

Thankfully for her life - but unfortunately for her autonomy and new-found freedom -, Lady Tully didn't manage to lay in too many blows. While she was busy engaging the Prince, she failed to see the Green Loyalists that flocked behind her. They managed to sever her Patellar ligament almost completely, and due to the pain, exhaustion and blood-loss, she fainted not long after.

To say that Aemond was dissatisfied with the way their brawl ended was an understatement. To his mind, he won unfairily - there is no glory to be taken when a stupid Redwyne footer cuts the leg of your future girl lol

So Aemond was already aware of her existence and fiery personality - now moreso than ever.

When he entered the Dungeons, after leaving her alone for so long, his plan was to make her feel stressed and unsafe. He wanted to give her a show of his power (i.e his threats: 《"I had in mind to let my men fuck you." He remarks dryly, but lets out a disappointed sigh. "But I don't think any of them would get it up to your whorish face."》).

He thought she'd beg for mercy, agree to do anything to turn her grandfather's banners to Aegon's cause. Because who wouldn't be desperate for medical attention, for fresh air, for clean clothes and warm food after they've been left in the dark for three weeks?

Not our Lady.

And that made him very interested in her, indeed.

She not only found the energy to be witty with him back, but she also attempted to gouge out his other eye.

She was anything but submissive, and Aemond caught himself wanting to understand her. To study her. To figure her out.

There are some really interesting studies out there (which I'll try to link if possible) that talk about serial killer mentality.

For most socio/psychopaths, getting to know their victim makes it harder for them to kill said person afterwards. Because they get to see them as more than just a means to an end - they start seeing them as human. Something closer to an equal. Something that clashes with their views on "exterminating" - they don't kill people they're intrigued by, people that make them feel good, people that give them a purpose ("Serial Murder - FBI").

So right off the bat, Lady Tully started meaning something for Aemond. And that immediately impacted him in such a way, that it made it impossible for him to detach from her.

He came by to visit her, again and again, and found a weird pattern of normality in their midnight talks. If he closed his eye, and abstained from thinking of the war (the only reason Lady Tully was even at his mercy), he could regard her as a "friend". As a woman who saw him for who he was, listened to him, and didn't run away - though not from lack of trying, mind you.

With time, his obsession grew and developed. And when she asked him whether or not her grandsire agreed to pledge for Aegon's cause, Aemond paniked.

Because House's Tully undoubted support meant that he had to actually let her go. He had to watch her leave him.

Bookcanon Aemond has A LOT of issues. And a very distinctive abandonment one. He would never give up his safe heaven. Never. That is why he remained silent in the face of her family's pleading letters (see Chapter 4, present in Oscar's dialogue: 《The young Lordling huffed annoyedly, jolting on the brink of madness, "The deranged cripple wouldn't reply to any of our ravens!"》).

Aemond clings to the riverlander because she showed him 3 pivotal qualities:

1) She proved that she can match his wit;

2) She was kind to him (bathed him, thanked him and praised him for being attentive - which no one else ever did);

3) Wrapped him in a false sense of understanding and security.

Now, whether or not Aemond grew to actually love his Lady, or if he's simply obsessed with his warped image of who she is, and subconsciously dependant with how she makes him feel is up for anyone to decide.

I WILL GLADLY GO INTO MORE DETAIL ABOUT AEMOND'S PATHOLOGY IF YOU GUYS WANT, BUT LET ME MOVE ONTO DAERON IN THE MEANTIME :")

Book Daeron is very dutiful. And he proved time and time again that he'll stand by his family, no matter who's in the right.

The most I see him do in regards to the impromptu marriage that Aemond imposed onto his Lady, is chastise his brother for potentially losing the support of Storm's End. He was betrothed to Floris Baratheon, after all, and his reckless behaviour can only bring one of two endings upon his family:

Either Lord Borros, the proud man that he's always been, takes Aemond's marriage as a slight and disregard of his daughter and family, leading him to turn his banners against Aegon, or he insists upon marrying one of his daughters to Daeron, instead.

You could make the argument that he might still give Floris to Aemond, thus making her his second wife. But the Lord of Storm's End is too proud a man to ever succumb his daughter to such a fate.

For we all know that a second wife is never as important or dear as the first.

Daeron would understand that they're at war. He would disagree with his brother's chosen match, but not because he thinks it unorthodox to marry a Lady against her will - but because his actions would lead to dire consequences brought upon their side.

At the end of the day, though, Aemond could have done much worse to Lady Tully. Forcing her to marry him, and not even claiming her virtue is the least of his worries.

It might even make him happy, given that a marriage isn't a true marriage until it is consummated. With a little luck, the Greens might be able to dissolve Aemond's reckless love match, and give Floris to him as intended.

[firethekitty]

7, 9 and 24 for that hater nation ask meme for whatever fandom you see fit to answer for each one :aheem:

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them?

hunter toh......... i thought he was soooo overrated at first, and then i started to really love him. but then over time after being exposed to devastating fandom discourse constantly i was like yeah maybe i don't like him as much anymore LOL but i definitely wouldn't say i hate him!

9. worst part of canon

the fan service in chainsaw man with asa makes me want to gouge my eyes out but idk if that counts...

i'm sure i have a better example but something i've been thinking about lately is in trigun maximum i wish vash had a better support system? the basis of the story is that even though we turn on each other when we’re afraid humanity is inherently good. but by the end vash only has like 5 people he can call friends and everyone else STILL wants to fucking kill him even after everything is said and done. in my opinion i think to showcase Humanity’s Goodness he should’ve had a larger amount of people willing to fight alongside him bc he only has a handful of people who don’t want him to die and it’s just depressing lmao EDIT BETTER EXAMPLE: the 1998 trigun anime pairing wolfwood and milly fucking sucks

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

god i think the owl house has some of the worst fandom discourse i've ever seen and that's saying A Lot. it’s better now but before season 3 some takes i saw about camila and luz were catastrophic. and mentioning certain toh ships is like throwing a grenade into a crowd

[featherlouise]

🤲 CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU CONTENT? CAN I HAVE SOME CRUMBS OF THOUGHTS? 🥺

I love mothfriend a reasonable amount for a character that I don't even know how he looks like

Ur not gonna be happy about this lmao

TW for child abuse!! I don’t go into detail and I don’t plan to, but take care of yourself :)

SO I mentioned that when Hollow is initially taken by the cult, PK has a meeting in a far off kingdom, which just so happens to be OOF’s base of operations, and he brought bby Hollow along for the ride (they’re about 8/9ish at this point)

While PK is in the meeting, Hollow is left standing outside ‘guarding’ the door. (I say ‘guarding’ bc they weigh less than a bag of flour and they’re like 4 ft tall so they’re not exactly intimidating yet lmao)

SO

It’s been established in my other AUs that if a person is stained/poisoned with void, they can hear void speak. The more void in your system, the clearer you can hear it.

Bby Hollow has never tried to speak to their father before, not only because they aren’t aware that they can, but bc they fear the consequences of being found out. BUT when they’re suddenly grabbed around the waist and hoisted over a stranger’s shoulder, their first instinct is to cry out “FATHER!!” Into the void. Bc they may not know exactly what’s going on, but they do know that they’re being taken away from their post and don’t know where they’re going but they want their dad.

Meanwhile, in the meeting room, PK hears a child’s voice cry out for their father and he feels a visceral need to kill, maim, protect that has only ever surfaced once before, when the pure vessel was injured during a training accident. But! This meeting is important, and he can address the strange voices in his head later, once he and his child the pure vessel are home safe.

Bit of background info about the moths in this AU!!

Those who follow the Radiance are able to have some influence over dreams. It varies between each person but only the most in tune with their goddess can wield the dreamnail and enter Her realm - those who are most adept at dream magic are destined to lead the Order, and become the next Seer, leaving their past identity behind.

(Idk if it’s mentioned if there’s only one dreamnail in game but if it is uhh. There’s more than one. There used to be more when the moth tribe was thriving, but most have been lost)

Over the years, moths have developed a number of tonics and elixirs that can influence a person’s dreams. An expert moth alchemist can induce or rid a person of nightmares, make them see their worst fears come to life in Her realm, or show them their wildest dreams. They can even keep a person sleeping for days on end if they want to.

It’s also imperative that every member of OOF learns to lucid dream from a young age. What use is worshipping the Light if you’re completely unaware when you’re in Her realm?? Surrounded by the purest form of Her light???

Back to Hollow!!

You can BET that they kick and scream (albeit silently) and cry as much as possible bc they don’t know these people and they don’t want to go with them.

It’s only after they manage to gouge 4 deep lines across the face of the one holding them that their kidnappers give in and shove a sleeping draught into their eye and hope for the best (they don’t fall asleep but they do become sleepy asf - thus begins the journey of trying to find an elixir strong enough to put the bby void god to sleep when they keep absorbing everything they give them)

Hollow is immediately brought to the Seer, who induces terrible nightmares about PK. They dream of being tossed back into the abyss, of their father running them through with his blade after finding out about their ‘betrayal’ (their being alive-ness)

(Feel free to shoot some ideas of horrifying dream scenarios to traumatise this small child with)

When they wake up, screaming, crying so hard they’d be choking on their tears had they the ability to do so, they’re faced with the Seer, who pulls out every manipulation tactic in the book to sway them over to Her side, to ‘make them see reason’ about their father’s ‘true nature.’

She takes them into her arms, tells them that they’re safe now, and once they’ve calmed down, tells them the (VERY EMBELLISHED) story of her people. She tells them that her homeland was destroyed by the pale usurper, and that her people’s goddess only wanted to take back what is rightfully hers. The infection was never supposed to hurt anyone, but when the deaths of his people didn’t convince the Wyrm to give Her back Her land, she was left with no choice. It’s the Usurper’s fault really, for what kind of king is he that the deaths of his own people won’t convince him to give Her land back???

And Hollow, having never been given comfort in their life, even after that one time they were really hurt during training and their father got this look in his eye like he wanted to scoop them up and wrap them in a blanket and never let them go, immediately sinks into the Seer’s embrace, becoming more and more horrified by her story.

Their father wouldn’t do that, would he???

But then they remember

The countless bodies of their siblings, piled so high that the floor is no longer visible

The sickening crack and squelch of tiny bodies hitting the edge of platforms, being impaled on spikes

Their father’s face, impassive as he tossed them away. But that didn’t really happen, did it??

No cost too great

ANYWAYS

Also also, soul magic is HEAVILY associated with PK, so any use of it is banned, even to heal.

Thing is!! One thing that’s consistent about every vessel, is that they tend to be more adept at either soul or void magic. Every vessel can use both, but they tend to have one that they excel more at.

So. For example, Ghost is better at Void magic, hence why their more powerful spells are void based, whereas Hollow has more control over soul magic, and has far less control over void spells.

HOWEVER one thing that’s indisputably wired into every vessel’s head as an instinct is soul healing. If they get hurt, they heal. Simple.

No matter how hard Hollow tries to explain this however, all the Seer hears are excuses to use the filthy Wyrm’s power. Why must they betray Her like this?? After the Order rescued them?? Took them in?? Nurtured them??

Any time they’re caught using soul to heal, they’re refused medical attention. By the time they hit 15, they’re covered in cracks and scars.

LONG STORY SHORT Hollow in this AU can use all of PV’s attacks but they’re void instead of soul :)

WOW this is long so imma stop here for now lmao

I’m realising this is more background info than actual story at this point lol

[eurofox]

Judgement review

Finished the Yakuza games that’s not really a Yakuza game and it was really great. I was kind of wary, a whole bunch of new characters to get used to but this is probably one of my top ranking games in the RGG universe. This is a good game to jump into even if you don’t know anything about the Yakuza series too and just want something with a good plot.

Spoilers

The Good Shit:

The story is great. They’ve really tightened their writing skills and I was hooked the whole way through. Far less wacky conspiracies (though there was some) and more focused. I unfortunately spoiled the reveal of The Mole beforehand but I don’t think I would have guessed. No stupid ‘oh no the bad guy got his gun again!’ bullshit this time around thank god, that was really tiresome. The whole ‘for the greater good’ theme was done very well and personally hit hard, alziehimers is a topic that hits home for me. It all tied in well and nothing felt like a waste of time.

Fighting is still great while being different enough from Kiryu’s to keep it fresh. I found the game easier overall, not sure if that’s Yagami being easier to use or if the game is just easier anyway.

Looks great. Same as YK2 really.

I didn’t think they’d let you beat up a load of doctors doing their rounds but they did! How gaming should be

Yagami isn’t as likeable as Kiryu but I warmed to him eventually. He’s a lot less dumb and props to him for actually disarming his opponents. He can be pretty funny at times, he’s fairly dry.

Cast is solid all round really and there was no last minute ‘big bad’ introduced like Jingu. You interact with everyone plenty so they get time to grow and shine, good and bad. Some great female characters who weren’t just damsels in distress. More morally grey characters. And a redemption arc where the guy isn’t instantly killed off? Amazing. Unheard of.

Hoshino was cute and tbh I was scared he was going to get the Rikyia treatment and end up in a dumpster with his eyes gouged out but they let my boy live. A guy who just wants to do his job and avoid the extra responsibilities, after my own heart LMAO

Some good tracks here, Murase’s boss theme and the long battle theme stand out, as well as ‘it’s showtime’

Kamurocho Go was handy.

That yakuza car heat action LMFAO

I enjoyed the investigation scenes.

The chase scenes are also done well here, I enjoyed them a lot as a change of pace

Drone parts are ok

Onomichio returns

The Bad Shit:

Tailing missions got very tedious very fast. I get it’s detective work, but it was boring. And that last one with the glove guy really got irritating when he got lost in the crowds. Took me 15 attempts as I kept losing patience as it goes on so long.

Maybe I didn’t use it right, but Crane style never felt that useful.

Mortal wounds is a bullshit concept and just made shit more annoying than it had to be.

Kaito could have had a bit more screentime, he disappers off a lot.

I get yagami isn’t a built like a tank like Kiryu, but he seems to get knocked on his arse a lot easier and takes way too long to get up.

Why is Kurowia such a powerhouse? Never really got that.

Dice and Cube hurts my eyeballs

The second Saori mission was pretty cringe inducing and the comments from Kaito and Yagami were gross. Really irritated me

Kim can get fucked. Whiny bitch. And constantly having to deal with those Keihin  gangs on his behalf was so fucking annoying, much worse than street thugs considereing they could do mortal damage.

Some shit I saw coming a mile off, like Sugihara actually being Emi’s brother.

What is with that weird gimp, he was in 6 and back here again and it’s never explained? WTF is with him.

I never quite got if it’s meant to be part of the same world as yakuza or not. The same shops and even staff appear. Sure, the Tojo clan is there, but Daigo and the rest are never mentioned nor seem interested in the crazy shit going on, even if it is a third rate family at the centre of it. Kiryu is mentioned indirectly once (maybe more, I stuck to the main story), and evidence of his shenanigans is there, like Shangri-La. Date is never mentioned, even though his police division is involved. But the timelines don’t seem to match up with what happened in 7? I’ve not played that one yet actually, so maybe it works somehow, but it did get confusing. I know they wanted to keep this separate so newcomers wouldn’t feel lost.

A great game altogether, even if you never played Yakuza. The story is the real draw of this game, really engaging with a solid cast. Nobody felt wasted, which is unfortunately often the case in other titles.

[jaw-the-fandom-hopper]

Can I survive them? Pt.1(?)

So, my dad and I are huge slasher fans, and last night we had an in-depth talk if we could take slashers or at least survive them. And this is what I came up with for myself.

Jason Voorhees (og)

Right off the bat, probably.

I wouldn't do anything to cause problems in his forest, and if anything I'd be there to do something good.

Now, of course if it's a situation of he's trying to kill me just to kill me? No, absolutely not.

I'd see that behemoth of a man and just accept death.

I'd say, 6/10 probably could survive, if I wasn't dumb.

Michael Myers (og)

Haha. No.

If he wants me dead? I'm dead.

Only way I'm surviving is if I run for the hills, but even then I probably won't get far.

1/10 very likely gonna die

Old man Myers (aka, 2018 Michael Myers)

Probably.

I wouldn't try and get in his way, or try to cause problems, so I have that going for me.

But if he ended up in my house? Hell no.

I know how to pick my battles if he was out to get me I'd accept my fate.

Solid 3/10. Only because I think he might not kill me simply due to the fact im a damn coward when it comes to big people.

Michael Myers (RZ)

Honestly?

No fucking clue.

I mean, if he did want me dead, he could easily take me out. He's like, 6'9.

But if I saw someone that big I wouldn't even look at them, and I sure as hell wouldn't enter an abandoned house where people died in.

Only other reason he might not kill me is because I'd probably be like 'wow you're tall, cool' if I ever did see him.

I'd say... 4.5/10.

Freddy Krueger

Lmao, yeah.

1; I don't dream, and when I do I pretty much recognize it's a dream.

Even then, if I'm lucid during a fucked up dream? I just start screaming that it's a dream and isn't real.

And, if it isn't a dream and he's physically coming after me?

Man fuck you krueger I'll beat your crispy ass.

9/10, like my odds but they're not 100%

Billy Lenz

Bold of you to assume we'd fight.

But in all honesty, good chance of beating his ass.

I fight dirty because I'm not that strong, so if anyone comes at me I start ripping off ears and gouging out eyes.

Even then, it's twink on twink violence.

7.5/10 really good odds.

Vincent Sinclair

honestly great odds but now for the reason you think.

I'm cajun, aka I was born and raised in southern Louisiana.

If anything, I'd meet Vincent because I was genuinely interested in his art.

And I don't think he'd find a reason to kill me (neither would Bo)

I have those good ol' southern manners, y'know??

So, 9/10, really like my odds.

Bo Sinclair

Good odds, bad reasons.

As with Vincent, I'm cajun, and would definitely end up less as a tourist, more as a lost idiot needing gas

Knowing me, I'd probably stumble across some incriminating evidence on accident, also knowing me, I'd absolutely ignore it

And well, I'm a witness, so Bo can't exactly let me go

I'd just be really (probably too) kind about the whole thing, and he wouldn't really wanna kill me

5/10, I live, but probably not allowed to leave

Bubba Sawyer (og Leatherface)

I'd compliment his mask, or bracelet.

It'd be an in the moment, panicked statement to save my own ass, sorta compliment, but i digress.

He'd (hopefully) grow interested, so I'd continue to compliment him.

Which might lead to him kidnapping me but

So, did I win? ..not really considering if I do live through it, I'll just end up being dragged into the family.

5/10, I lived but at what cost?

Any of the ghostfaces

OH HELL YEAH

One, I don't answer my phone

Two, when I do it's to be an idiot, especially to telemarketers

Three, I know how to improvise weapons

In short, if one even came at me, nontheless called me first, they ain't getting far.

10/10, can beat and would beat again.

[quercus-queer]

Aemond is so real because I too would cause so many problems on purpose and actively make my half-sisters life harder if my fifty smthn year old father married my teenage mother and forced her to reproduce with him but never gave her any attention or respect and instead let the daughter from his first marriage do whatever she wanted disrespecting the “sanctity” of marriage and duty that’s so impressed upon my own mother and my siblings. No one but her can step out of line and when she does our father always sticks up for her even though he cannot even spare me or my siblings a glance despite the fact he wanted us enough to marry and reproduce with a teenager.

In fact he forced this entire stressful situation because he wanted sons just to put his daughter from his first marriage on the throne and ignore them. In fact, he could’ve never remarried and no problems except the run of the mill misogyny which is still there but now there’s millions of other problems ontop of that but nooooo he had to get his dick wet after mutilating his first wife. And even after having sons he, at any point in time, could’ve changed laws concerning the succession of inheritance. He could’ve stepped down and instate Rhaenyra while still alive. There’s still the whole fact passing of bastards as trueborns is treason but he could’ve tried instead of playing dumb.

And that’s just the principle because ontop of that foundation my half sister’s side of the family and my own brother consistently bullied me my entire childhood culminating in her side beating me up 4 on 1 and her son gouging out my fucking eye and our father couldn’t even care about that he instead defended my grown adult sister again and threatened to torture me (12 yr old child) to get me to sell out my mother while I was down a fucking eye for saying my sisters illegitimate children are in fact illegitimate AND humiliated my mother once again by showing how little my father cared about us.

Like are you kidding??? I’d be homicidal and he’s not even intentional about it, like good on him tbh I would’ve killed with no regrets lmao idgaf. I believe in kinslayer rights, PLUS he’s an enjoyer of milfs instead of underage relatives <3

[sillygoofyqueer]

Giggling, okay- So, I know that Hua Cheng is technically the youngest if we go by book series, but I personally have never really been able to think of him as being a younger sibling? Which is why, even though E'ming is the last sword of the Three Swords, Hua Cheng isn't the youngest within terms of finding it - Wei Wuxian is (because he deserves some older brother protection after everything I've done to him *stares down at the blood on my hands with a haunted look in my eyes*). Luo Binghe is the eldest sibling, and he definitely embodies that in the 'I'll let you two beat the crap out of each other and maybe do it myself, but god forbid anyone else try it' way, and he's like the guy that gets dragged along by their antics with a long suffering sigh but will probably get really involved even if he tries not to. He's more 'Bingge' than 'Bingmei' in this, because (to partly answer one of your questions) he hasn't met his beloved tamer partner yet! Hua Cheng is definitely searching for his beloved, and E'ming the spirit draws on this because his god was the god of love, so he links them together through the devotion forged through love - the whole reason why Hua Cheng sought out a spiritual weapon (because he sought one out) was because his beloved had one and he didn't want to be mortal so he would die before being with his special one. Wei Wuxian - we'll see his dynamics when I eventually write it, but he definitely will have a sibling rivalry with Hua Cheng and will be trying his hardest to annoy him for the longest possible time. He starts violently sobbing when any of that gruff older brother stuff from Binghe is tried on him, because REASONS. Okay, so, spiritual weapons! Obviously, I think they'll have humanoid forms they can take (due to the spirit cultivating to that extent as well as drawing spiritual energy from their bonded cultivator), and they have very different vibes for each person. E'ming often appears in child form when he's with Hua Cheng's trusted people - this is because of Hua Cheng's sacrifice. Due to him literally gouging out an eye and giving it to E'ming, it wouldn't be hard to see it as one of the most vulnerable parts of himself (as well as the canon reason of his red eye representing all of the shitty things that happened to him). In this form, he does mainly have child-like tendencies, he can be seen as Hua Cheng's inner child in this sense if you wish to view it as that. When he's around others, E'ming likely takes a more San Lang form, and acts like the know it all teenager that we love - he also takes more of an older brother approach to Hua Cheng, but that teasing brother that doesn't seem to pay much attention to you until you're in danger. This, once again, is due to the way the two are bonded; Hua Cheng literally gave a part of himself up, meaning that E'ming is more likely to shape himself around Hua Cheng than what Xin Mo does. Xin Mo takes more of a gruff mentor role with Binghe, because this is my AU and I want them to not be a FUCKER like in canon lmao. You can attribute this to his previous wielder (he only had one wielder before he was forgotten), who was a war god that often took on disciples and taught them the ways of a battle so that mortals weren't entirely hopeless as the world slipped through more inventions than could be kept up with. Xin Mo has a human form...to the barest extent. Like, they have the basic shape of a human, but around others, they often appear as a dark form/shadow that is designed to intimidate and destroy. Around Binghe's trusted, they take much more of a casual appearance - think a mixture of Ares and Liu Qingge?? - and definitely radiates the seasoned veteran with a soft spot because I am WEAK TO IT, OKAY?? I'M GOING TO DO ANOTHER REBLOG WITH THE REST OF THE INFORMATION SO CHECK THE REBLOGS WHEN YOU GET THIS REBLOG!!!!

(@weirdocat83's tags to this post) LUNA. YOU HAVE SUMMONED ME. FGRGGRGHOHGROHGROGHROGH LET'S DO THIS.

Okay, so, I don't think it's going to be a reincarnation au in a sense, but, uh, the spirits of the swords search for what could be classed as a 'replacement' for their divine wielders? So, take Xin Mo for example. His previous wielder could be labelled as a god of war, one who craved bloodshed and spent most of their time on the battlefield - so, Xin Mo's spirit naturally searched for a more hostile soul that was similar to the god's soul, because it was easier for the spirit to...bond? with the soul compared to if the spirit had to edit itself to bond with a more peaceful soul. It found the link with Binghe's (Bingge's?) soul because the guy just wanted to be powerful, and it's easiest to gain power through bloodshed - meaning that Xin Mo's spirit could probably "edit" certain parts of Binghe to fit its basic needs (a lot less predatory than in canon), and then "edit" certain parts of itself so that the bond was less hard to maintain. This would be things like recognising and becoming more calm and less bloodthirsty than it can afford to be due to the fact that Binghe is likely to only be on the battlefield if it's necessary for power - unlike the divine wielder, who had battled for entertainment (not to say that Binghe doesn't revel in a good battle, whether due to Xin Mo's influence or just general satisfaction). I feel like the gods do still exist in the divine realm, but they're a lot quieter and aren't really worshipped by the vast majority anymore (think how secularisation has affected modern society), some even disappearing because they simply didn't have enough worshippers or drive to sustain themselves after the purging of their temples - their lives, if you will. Spiritual weapons still exist in the modern times (this is a modern au, in a sense), still wielded by only a choice few (often granting them immortality as long as they held a strong bond), so people know that gods existed at one point, but most believe that all gods did die in the purging. Obviously, part of why the Three Swords are so unique in their legend is because they require a sacrifice in order to be wielded (connected to how their gods had such strong bonds with their swords that they practically sealed themselves until they could find a worthy replacement), whereas most spiritual weapons merely require respect and devotion because their bonds weren't as wholly consuming as the Three Swords' - if that makes sense? Wei Wuxian's sword will be Suibian, I think. Mainly because there is always a lot of emphasis on Chenqing and, don't get me wrong, I love that little fuckin' flute but Suibian my beloved sword. We don't quite know how sword spirits work in MDZS, so I wanna give them some spotlight in this AU! They deserve it!! Suibian definitely had the most protective/familial bond with her previous owner and (I'm not going to blab about the circumstances or anything of Wei Wuxian finding Suibian but) when she hears such a desperate cry for help from what is practically a teen who obviously has no other support, she can't help it! She's always been the most fair of the Three Swords, but she's still picky when it comes to her owner - they must have good, honest intentions to wield her, and nobody ever does (there's always, even a subconscious, ulterior motive outside of protection. Well, kind of). It's hard to yap about without spilling about Wei Wuxian because I do want to write this and I'm not one to drop secrets before I've even got a first chapter drafted. I would yap about the red/black interactions but this post is already pretty big so- PLEASE ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS, IT'S HELPING ME WORLD BUILD AND I AM A FAN OF TALKING ABOUT MY BRAIN WORMS!!

[kellyvela]

I think saying they're little shits is a bit too much (well with Jace anyway. Can't say for Luke since he's more of a blank book than his brother. Then he decided it was a-ok to laugh at the pig placed in front of Aemond when the dinner was so blatantly a high tense affair). Honestly both boys haven't been shown enough onscreen for me to get a good grasp of who they are. Jace seems to be stubbornly drinking his mother's kool-aid even though all Aemond has to do is declare everyone should drain their cups to his STRONG nephews before Jace (and Luke) lose their shit. So that kool aid isn't working for Jace was well as he likes to believe.

Both boys seem to be what, in their teens? They should have realized that Aemond was making a trap with the way he emphasized STRONG. Like c'mon guys, don't tell me your mom and stepfather didn't brief you before this dinner? (actually they probably didn't, or didn't do so properly).

At least Cregan and Sara will be able to get Jace to stop gaslighting himself (hopefully lmao) and get some discipline into him. I don't want to say too much for anyone that doesn't know Luke's fate from the books, but Luke's a lost cause.

Tbh I'm gonna be really curious to see how next season pans out since Jace will likely be in Winterfell then. This is an age where while it's not a holy shit monumental moment, it's less of a surprise than in the future when a dragon pops up over the moors of Winterfell with a rider on its back heading for a visit. Given Aegon's prophecy is a re-occurring thing (still salty about that change but I digress), I think we will get multiple episodes of Jace in Winterfell. If it doesn't stretch all of season 2 it will stretch for a bulk of it.

If someone mocked me with a pig because my dragon egg didn't hatch. Then gouged out my eye, when I was already neutralized, because I claimed the biggest dragon out there. Then, years later without showing any regrets or trying a sincere apology, not only laughed at my face but looked at me with such smugness because they put a roasted pig in front of me at the dinner table. I would have asked Vhagar to eat him after the dinner, really. So yeah, I call him a little shit.

At that point both Jace (16) and Luke (14) know that they are bastards, and they understand what being a bastard means. But they not only follow his mother's lies (that is, at certain level, reasonable, at least in public), but act outraged when anyone tell them the truth, even in their close family circle, a truth they perfectly know and understand. So, again, I call them a little shits.

The same way Jon Snow had his "welcome to real life" moment with Donald Noye, I hope Jace have a similar moment with Cregan and Sara at Witerfell.

[drwcn]

follow up to [post] exploring the crack au if lwj was a girl 

〒▽〒 ps im not trying to erase canon lwj representation, not at all, wangxian is mm in all my other fics, this is just stupid fun

in a ceteris paribus situation aka all other things staying equal: 

1) Lan Wangji 100% still has a resting bitch face, which probably would get her a couple of “Lan-er-guniang 美若天仙 (beautiful as an immortal/goddess) but would benefit from smiling more” comments but nobody is that desperate to die yet so, she’s spared. But damn... imagine the sheer number of thirsty boys who’d try to secure a marriage with LWJ. None of them is good enough for Wangji as far as Lan Xichen is concerned. Okay - maybe in Lan Xichen’s opinion, Nie Mingjue is good enough, but he couldn’t be less interested. I see her as I see Huaisang, Xichen please. 

2) Everything interaction between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian in Wei Wuxian’s first life is now 500% more scandalous. 

Exhibit A) Their first meeting at the gates; Jiang Cheng immediately felt his spidey senses tingling.  —“You’d sooner have immortals flying out of your ass than get with someone like her. The second jade of Gusu? The pearl in old man Lan’s eyes? C’mon.”  —“Shut up, A-Cheng.” —“Uh-huh.”  —“Also, she’s not that pretty. Her brother Zewu-jun is much better. There’s a reason he’s ranked first.” WWX is still a disaster bi.  — “LMAO, you? Zewu-jun? Please.” 

Exhibit B) Just because LWJ is a girl does not mean WWX grew more brain cells. 

WWX, straight up to Lan Qiren’s face, “Lan-meimei and I - we’re zhiji.” (he means it like we’re kindred spirits, peas of a pod, etc)  LWJ: *does not deny* Lan Xichen: ⚆_⚆ Lan Qiren: ಠ╭╮ಠ

Exhibit C) Lan Wangji getting drunk the first time. Wei Wuxian knew he crossed a line the minute he invited Lan-er-guniang for a drink. Really, WWX, even for you, this is inappropriate. When Lan Wangji fell face first onto the table, Wei Wuxian knew, he fucked up. “Hey....hey...Lan....Lan...-er-guniang,” He poked her. “Don’t...don’t sleep here! You can’t sleep here! If your Uncle finds out or if Jiang-shushu finds out...they’ll skin me alive and then...and then they’ll make me marry you! I don’t want to marry you; you don’t talk and I’m too young!” 

WWX, being a dipshit, “Hey Lan Zhan, call me Wei-gege.”  LWJ, drunk as fuck, “Wei..gege.”  WWX *((( heart )))* ??? 

Exhibit D) The Cold Pond. Okay, so I don’t think Zewu-jun would sabotage his sister’s virtue by sending a stupid teenage boy her way while she’s bathing, but doesn’t mean Su She is above all that. Wei “I didn’t see anything I swear!” Wuxian. Lan “I will gouge out your eyes.” Wangji. Somehow they still end up in the cave. Maybe WWX got in the water after LWJ got out and got sucked into the vortex and LWJ heard the commotion, turned around, saw WWX had disappeared. “Wei Ying?!” A panicked LWJ jumps back into the pond, “Stop fooling around, come out!” 

Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing 👀👀 when LWJ and WWX fall out of the cave together. Also the fact that Lan-er-guniang and Wei-gongzi went missing, together, for two days. Who knows what could’ve happened. I mean anything really. I mean... that’s gotta stir the pot a little were it not for the Yin Iron stealing everyone’s attention away from this bit of juicy scandal. 

Oh the whole story... so much to work with, so little time. 

3) Because Lan Wangji is a girl, now suddenly there’s a high ranking member of the Lan Clan who can host the girls at Cloud Recesses. I mean, Mianmian, Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, Lan Wangji - SISTERLY FRIENDSHIP. Other than Mianmian, none of the girls are really talkers which suits Lan Wangji perfectly. Even Mianmian’s chatter is endearing.

4) Lan Wangji is absolutely still a powerhouse during the Sunshot Campaign. The inherent aesthetics of fem!lwj telling the Wen goons to “kneel” - no one will deprive me of this.  Also she will still cut off your arm if you cross her - Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao ya better watch out still. 

I am TORN between two options: Lan Wangji tol and kickass or Lan Wangji smol and kickass. On one hand, the aesthetics of willowy elf-like LWJ, on the other hand, 5′2′’ of whoop ass who can and will throw an unconscious wwx over her shoulder firewoman-style and toll him to safety.  

And amongst other things: 

A) Lan Wangji still becomes Chief Cultivator, because excuse me who else is left to clean up this mess? Jiang “Short-fuse” Wanyin? Nie “I won’t do what I’m not intended to do” Huaisang? Jin “13 year-old” Ling? Or Sect Leader Yao?  Technically, being a woman means that she was never Lan Xichen’s heir, but at the end of it, it’s not like Gusu Lan is left with a lot of choices.  Just the poetic justice of Gusu Lan pleading for Lan Wangji to come back when she fully intends to 隐居山野 (retreat into the mountains) with the resurrected WWX.

Lan Wangji being Chief Cultivator would echo Lan Yi’s tenure and rectify the fact that Gusu Lan’s only female head of family “failed”. Lan Yi had to face a mountain of prejudice because she was woman; someone has to say “up yours” to that. A woman as not only the sect master of Gusu Lan but the Chief Cultivator? Love that for Gusu Lans. (⌐■_■) ☞ ☞

B) Because of ~ sexism ~ I wonder if Lan Wangji would get titled “Hanguang” at all even after the Sunshot Campaign. Even Lan Yi, the SL Lan of her time didn’t have a title. Chances are LWJ won’t either. (Note: Violet Spider is not a title, it’s a moniker). So — say after the way Lan Wangji is still just “Lan-er-guniang”, and she does not obtain the title “Han Guang” until after she leaves Cloud Recesses and become rogue. (srsly how did they come up with these titles in canon, did gusu lan just look at 21 year old lwj and be like yah he’s lord light bearer *cue trevor noah stand up joke* why do you call yourself “great” britain? isn’t that a bit presumptuous? shouldn’t you go around doing good things and then let other people come to the conclusion: oh britain look how great you are? same logic with lwj.) 

Lan Wangji, a Jade of Gusu or a nameless rogue, still goes where trouble is, helping those who need it. After laying low for a year or two to heal, Lan Wangji began night hunting. Donned neck to ankle in white silk and tulle, and a weimao (wide brimmed veil hat) obscuring her face, she became known to the people as Hanguang Sanren, the lightbearing wanderer. Gusu’s highest power probably has some idea who she is - or at least they can guess - but the vast majority of people don’t. 

C) Lan Sizhui raised by rogue Lan Wangji as his mum would be different. Still cultured, respectful, but definitely with an air of keeping others at arm’s length. 

For instance, grown-up Sizhui running interference and saving a cohort of gentry disciples on joint hunts.

Jingyi: 这人谁呀？Who is this guy? Zizhen: 多谢兄台搭救之恩，小可看您眼生，敢问兄台尊姓大名，何门何派，改日当登门拜访. Many thanks for saving us. I don’t believe we’ve met, pray tell what is your name and sect, so we may visit at a later time to thank you for tonight. Sizhui: 在下无门无姓 ，单名思追 。举手之劳不足挂齿 ，怎敢劳烦各位名门子弟答谢。My name is Sizhui, belonging to no family and to no sect. As for tonight - I only did what anyone would; it bears no mentioning and requires no thanks. Jin Ling: 你这人，看你工力不凡，想和你交个朋友，可你怎么遮遮掩掩的。Hey you, we see you’re a talented cultivator and want to make your acquaintance. Why are you so dodge-y? Zizhen：金陵 — Jing Ling - Sizhui: 若是有缘，还会相见。告辞。If it’s fated, we will meet again. Farewell.  

Later:  Jingyi: 思。追。 思追谁？Si. Zhui. To recollect and long for whom?  Sizhui: 母亲的一位故人. Someone from Mother’s past.  Jingyi: 你父亲？...Your father?  Sizhui: 我不知。I don’t know. 

I thought about how cute it would be if sizhui and jin ling knew each other but guys...Jiang Cheng literally thinks he killed Sizhui’s biological father. Like he literally thinks he orphaned Sizhui before Sizhui is even born. And Lan Wangji would never accept anything from Jiang Wanyin, not that it would stop Jiang Wanyin from trying. 

A package of books here, a new robe for Sizhui there. Lan Wangji doesn’t know how Jiang Cheng keeps finding her. She and Sizhui are nomadic.  

D) The inevitable conversation after wwx is revived. 

You know what would be funnier than Jiang Cheng thinking Sizhui is a wangxian baby is if Lan Qiren thinks Sizhui is a wangxian baby.