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mountainrusing · 1 month ago

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5th year canon compliant moonchaser:

They did it. Over summer, James, Sirius and Peter transformed respectively into a stag, dog and rat. Remus was shell-shocked. Didn’t expect it to actually happen.

At first, he’s adamantly against the idea, but at school, his friends sneak into the Shack with him, and after proving to him it’s safe, he agrees.

On full moons, Remus and Sirius’s animals are best friends. Always play fighting like fiends, the way James and Sirius wrestle in human form, and Sirius gets to wrestle with Remus in dog form. He has so many brothers, he doesn’t need… that one…

It’s all amazing, Sirius gets to be a reckless daredevil with the wolf, and he’s never felt so much adrenaline. He’s always looking forward to full moons. Remus looks slightly weary about that, but smiles in amusement. Despite the wolf being absolutely berserk, his friends seem to love him. Sirius says it’s like his flesh is finally reflecting the madness within. Making a face, Remus uses that phrase against him.

As the leader, the stag, James always makes sure no one gets hurt, and he guides them all into safety at even the slightest hint of danger. He never attacks, as a stag. He can’t. To be a good leader isn’t to attack, it’s to listen. He learns how to listen to his pack. Proper responsibility isn’t taking it all onto his shoulders. It’s dividing it, it’s by telling his friends what he’s doing and hearing their ideas.

But come Christmas break, everything goes wrong. Not exactly everything, but this Christmas is the one where Sirius runs away from his family. He’s not upset. He’s not, he’s just angry. The tears he cries as he screams and throws things, that’s all rage. He vows revenge. He’ll never be like his bigoted, prejudiced family. That brother. He doesn’t have a brother, he has James and Remus. He hurls all his fury for them to listen to, and they nod placatingly. How do you deal with a tornado that will consume you?

Sirius will be the opposite of his family. He hates them. They’re stupid, vindictive, they don’t know what James has taught him. How to be good. A blood traitor. He must reject all that they enforce in favour of friendship, because what matters is being friends with people. You can be friends with anyone you choose. Sirius chooses James, and Remus, and Peter, the Potters. He chooses good. Everyone else? They’re outcasts. They’re below him. Sirius can’t afford to care about them, he doesn’t have enough love in his body for that. He doesn’t know how to treat anyone except his chosen family like human beings. Only they deserve it. Only they have seen and accepted him. He’s running out of love, running out of time, for what? He doesn’t know.

Advocating vocally for the antithesis of his family’s beliefs, glaring at those who think he’s hot for having those ‘aristocratic Black features,’ he hates them, the whole lot of them, all these people who are attracted to him for things he can’t control. Such vain, silly things, what a superficial society he lives in. But Sirius can also control them this way, by using his appearance to lure them in and give him what he wants, them to listen and agree with him for once, destroy all the pureblood families like the Blacks, they’ve all got filthy blood, destroy anyone who follows them, they’re all whimpering, weak cowards.

He’s fine.

James doesn’t think Sirius is fine. He’ll share everything he owns with Sirius to make him fine. It’s not working. He’s always thought of his parents as only his, but he’ll give them both to Sirius entirely, allow them to dote on Sirius and ignore him completely, if only it would make Sirius better. But Sirius keeps yelling, shouting, picking an argument. James sometimes yells back, sometimes speaks calmly. It doesn’t work. Remus seems scared of Sirius, always disappears into the sidelines, and James thinks this group he’s made is falling apart.

Sirius is mad at Remus for avoiding him, mad at the whole world, angry at Snape for stalking him, stalking all his friends, trying to find dirt on his head to replace Sirius’s position in the pureblood aristocracy. Sirius hates Snape for wanting power that kills people on the inside, tells Snape that if he wants to die, just do it himself.

Constantly, Snape sneers at Remus, suspecting he’s a werewolf, and belittles all four of the Marauders with snide remarks during class, so quiet the teacher can’t hear. No one can, except them. And when they loudly attack Snape in revenge, they get punished. Remus hates attacking Snape because he pities him. Sometimes he even agrees with him. He’s a monster. Should be expelled. Danger to the students.

Lily tells Snape to get off Remus’s back, because she notices Remus crawling further and further into himself. Snape is just trying to protect her, he’s so scared of what the Marauders are, this dangerous gang with bullies for leaders, a werewolf as their weapon, a whole entourage of followers cheering them on. They are darker than they seem. Sirius is off the rails, and James is losing control. Remus is a werewolf, and Peter is a measly worshipper at their feet. Snape sees.

Sirius hates what Snape sees. It’s not true. The Marauders’ friendship is perfect. They’re not losing each other. He won’t let them. If Snape wants to die, then Sirius will do it for him. They’ve been waiting too long.

Once again, they pick a fight with each other, Snape and Sirius. Snape goads Sirius with the fact that he knows, he’ll tell everyone of the Marauders’ corruption, the beast they hide, how they’re monsters and brutes, and Sirius snaps. James isn’t a monster, neither is Remus or Peter. Sirius might be, and Snape’s hit the nail on the head with that one. He asks Snape, “How certain are you that Remus is a werewolf?” And when Snape replies that he’s never been more certain, Sirius berates him harshly for pestering them then, demanding proof he doesn’t need. Snape goads him further, saying he’ll expose them all, and that’s it, Sirius has had enough, he wants to be exposed on his own volition. He wants Snape gone. If Snape is so certain that Remus is a werewolf, then he should stop asking them to say it for him and just say it himself! Find the proof for himself. Why doesn’t he press the knot on the Whomping Willow on a full moon and see for himself?!

It’s a prank. If Snape listens, then he’s stupid, because he already thinks Remus is a werewolf, so now he’s just walking into a werewolf trap that Sirius has clearly marked as dangerous. He’s signing his own suicide note. If he listens, then he deserves all that he gets. And it’ll be fine, Remus won’t care. He’ll be in wolf form. He’s already avoiding Sirius anyway, it’s not like he cares what Sirius does out of anger. Worst comes to worst, Sirius will just hide the body. Pin it on creatures in the Forbidden Forest, that would work. But Snape won’t die, because even though he’s loath to admit it, Sirius knows Snape isn’t that stupid. He wouldn’t purposely go somewhere he knew a werewolf was.

…Would he?

Casually, Sirius tells his friends about the prank, and they all lose their minds. Remus turns ashen, James’s eyes pop out of his skull, and Peter is biting his nails and biting his knuckles, wondering when to scream. Has he followed them too far? Sirius assures them it won’t happen, and with dry throats, they all nod, ‘Okay.’

As if he’s got a death sentence over his head, Remus walks towards the Willow on the next full moon, already resigned to his fate. He’s pulling James’s heart out of his chest, stringing it along the ground, and Sirius isn’t wavering at all. It’ll be fine, they’re just dramatic.

It’s not fine. Why does Snape actually listen?!

James is shocked someone could be so stupid. No, actually, it makes sense, because Snape is the thick-skulled villain in all the children’s books, always doing something stupid, always meeting a sticky, disastrous fate because he put himself in that position. Villains die in those books. Brutally, stabbed by the hero, pecked to death by birds… the hero slays the dragon. Murder was a normal death for people as evil as the Slytherin blood supremacist. Better than a Dementor sucking his soul, which would probably happen if James were to let an unchanged Snape venture out into the world beyond school and continue his malicious ways. James isn’t being mean. Hopefully. Snape is wholly bad. Rotten to the core. Already dead. James doesn’t care if Snape dies. Of course, he doesn’t want Snape to die, but a murderer gets what they give. Death penalty. Doesn’t Snape bully kids younger than him just because he can? At least James is nice to first years. Snape hates children. James doesn’t. Snape is so mean to Lily, to Mary, laughs at what happens to Muggle-borns because of his gang of bigots. They’re physically abusive, they commit assault, they could get their souls sucked for that. James is merciful.

He may not care if Snape dies, neither do Sirius or Peter for that matter, and he’ll continue bullying Snape brutally after this incident, but what James does care about is Remus. That’s the only reason he saves Snape. He does not care if Snape dies at all, he’ll be vicious and cruel even after this; there can only be one reason he chooses to put himself in danger for someone he thinks is better off dead. Remus.

Remus’s conscience. If James doesn’t save Snape, it means losing Remus. Wrecking his morals. Corrupting his goodness. Remus would hate it. He chooses forgiveness, he’s only ever good, and James won’t let Remus lose himself because of this. He risks his life in the hopes that Remus will continue living his.

After James rescues Snape and saves Remus, the three of them are injured in beds next to each other the next morning. Worried and well-intentioned, Peter tries explaining what happened, but Sirius is brash and unrepentant about it. He tells Remus that it wasn’t him who made it happen the way it did. That was all Snape. No one gets punished for it, because Sirius only told someone who already knew that Remus was a werewolf where said werewolf would be on a full moon. He didn’t force Snape to do anything, in fact, it was evident that Snape should not be doing that. He did anyway. Sirius gets a verbal reprimand for revealing information about the location, that’s it, and Snape must promise to keep silent about what he saw.

In the hospital wing, Remus tersely thanks James, but ignores any further attempt of conversation. James has been rejected, and he’s miserable about it. When they’re healed, Remus continues avoiding the Marauders. James and Peter forgive Sirius, but only after making him promise to keep calm in the future, and lay off his rally against his parents. Sirius agrees, and behaves more openly and amicably, but is still annoyed at Remus for evading them, as well as Snape and the Blacks. He tries to convince himself that his real family are the Potters.

Hurt, James tries to bring Remus back into the group he created, where Remus fit perfectly with them all. They’re best friends. Remus was the kind one. The one who kept them in check. He’s not supervising their pranks anymore, he’s not making sure they stay funny and good. James and Sirius take their pranks too far without him. Remus keeps shaking James off, and James is upset, he’s putting all his energy into pranks, taking his broken heart and trying to piece it back together by making people laugh at others’ expense. It’s okay if he loses himself, as long as he makes sure that he’s good. Is James doing good? Is he? He has to.

But Remus doesn’t want him anymore. James needs Remus as a pillar of his group. All leaders have foundations. James has lost one, it’s making him wobbly. Unsteady. Remus used to love him, return it, they used to be happy together. James just wants to be loved, and he’s lost it, he needs all the love, more and more, he’s been so overfed with it that to lose is making him sick, he’s craving, he’s trying to eat his own teeth, any remnants of love? Remus is gone.

James spirals. He’ll look for love anywhere else then, he needs it for his own survival, his body is trying to consume itself, his stomach is turning inside out. He keeps pestering Lily to go out with him, even more than before, because they’re meant to end up together, when you love someone, you automatically end up together. The books he’s read always have happy endings, as soon as the princess falls in love, the prince loves her back. It’s always a mutual agreement. Lily loves him back, he just needs her to admit it.

Snape’s worst memory is also James’s worst. Remus is so close, just out of reach, and James can feel him slipping. Sirius is joking, and James is boasting, and Remus is sitting there, like a ghost. That’s how he lives these days, he hangs out with the Marauders, but not quite. He wisecracks, but his smiles are cracks across his face, they’re broken. He makes himself the butt of the joke. Does he feel like that? He brushes everything off, everyone off, he doesn’t act like it hurts him anymore. He’s become impenetrable.

James just wants Remus to open up again. It’s their fault he’s closed off. No one is keeping James settled anymore, advising him on how to be kind. Keeping his pranks in line.

To entertain Sirius, James does what he thinks will heal his guilty conscience. He’ll fix the problem in his world, and everyone will cheer. They’ll jeer at the villain, Snivellus, and they’ll hail the hero, James. And that’s what the whole crowd does when he strides towards Snape, they’re encouraging him to keep going, he is living off their love, he’s a parasite, just sucking, he could drain the world dry and it wouldn’t be enough. He knows how to humiliate Snape, he doesn’t understand why it’s a big deal, he’s seen people do it before. Bullies learn their methods from other bullies, or from their own insecurities. James has seen wannabe Death Eaters assault Muggle-borns. What Mulciber did to Mary. Snape had laughed at that. Rage boils in James’s bloodstream, he’s burning alive. So he humiliates Snape. Bullies get what they give. James is simply justice. He’s doing the work of a moral compass. He’s untouchable, he decides what’s wrong and right. If James doesn’t teach Snape now, Snape will end up even worse, even more obsessed with dark magic.

More and more, James needs love, Lily’s angry at him for punishing evil with evil, he knows it’s evil, his grin is hurting his face, but he’s still grinning. He must own his actions. He and Lily will end up together anyway, she just has to go out with him and he’ll do anything for her…

Lily is furious. James has just blackmailed her into going out with him. She’s had enough– And then her childhood friend calls her a Mudblood. Now she’s no longer angry. She might be about to cry. She has to leave, immediately. They’re all as bad as each other. Except Mary, who chases after her. As Mary hugs her, she thinks she might be in love.

Again and again, James has been rejected again. Why doesn’t anyone want him? Sirius just mocked him for being conceited, like Sirius can talk, but Sirius is wholly good. He’s smiling, entertaining, he’s telling James to go on, but this doesn’t feel good.

Sirius is bored. He hates Snape. He hates Regulus, that’s the problem, he feels so full of hate right now, and he’s grinning through it all, like a maniac, luring James into his darkness, staining him with corruption. He feels like the manipulator instead of the manipulated. How much power does he wield? So much. He’s fine… No, he’s not. He might need help.

On the sidelines, Remus is paying no mind to it all. He stays quiet, but sometimes he lifts his eyes, and that disappointed gaze pins James in place. He’s bleeding out. He can feel it on the side of his face, but he won’t look at Remus. Remus has no right to judge him, they don’t even talk about morality anymore, all Remus does is let him go on, go too far, and Remus is no help. But he’s good. Isn’t he?

Remus literally has no backbone. He’s fed up with himself, with his friends, and why couldn’t they just put the wolf down by now? He keeps looking at James, and James won’t look back. How does it feel to be the one ignored instead? Why does James look so tragic when he’s not the victim? Remus pities Snape, but his heart goes out to James. He is so, so blinded by love. He can’t even speak a word against James, ask him and he’ll wave it off, say that James is only fifteen, he’s the height of cool anyway, it’s not a big deal. He can’t do this anymore. He needs to cut this off.

After the worst memory, James feels heavy. He’s too tired to dish out justice anymore. It feels like swallowing slugs, looking back. Eating dirt and acting like it was a delicacy. Getting blood and meat between his teeth, coughing raw, he doesn’t want to do this. He’s not a punisher. He’s a child too. He’s not on a higher level. Just as bad. Remus has gone again. He’s always doing that. It’s a push and a pull, he’s there and the next moment he’s not. James needs to be held. Someone needs to take everything good that’s fallen out of him and close the cracks in his body, his heart, his mind. He just wants to bury himself into a hug and close his eyes again. He was so ignorant. Now he sees everything. The world isn’t black and white. Remus is so grey. It’s mesmerising. He’s a painting in shades of the sky, and James wants to be enveloped by that, beg him to come back. So he does. He breaks down, sees Remus and chases him with the speed of an athlete, tackles and hugs him so tightly, like when they told Remus they knew he was a werewolf in second year, and James had to stop him running away. James sobs about how sorry he is, sorry and sorry until Remus shakes his head and forgives him.

Sirius realises he still has many issues he needs to sort through. First, his brother. Regulus. Lily sees Sirius struggling, and tells him about her own issues with Petunia. And Sirius thinks he’s healing, for the first time in so long. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. He’s not completely bad. He’s not simply the product of his parents. And his brother isn’t the product of him. It’s okay to miss people. And hope hopelessly that they will return to you. And he won’t take it out on his brother’s Slytherin friends, even when it feels like Snape is just manipulating relationships and driving them apart. Lily provides the support network Sirius needs to move on, because moving on means living and wishing, it’s okay to wish as long as he lives.

The Gryffindor boys and girls merge into one group as they befriend each other, James, Remus, Mary, Sirius, Lily, Marlene, Peter. It’s no longer a co-dependent gang. It’s friendship.

click for 1st yr ⬧ 2nd yr ⬧ 3rd yr ⬧ 4th yr ⬧ 5th yr ⬧ 6th yr ⬧ 7th yr

#marauders #moonchaser #headcanons #remus lupin #james potter #sirius black #lily evans #peter pettigrew #moonshine #wolfbucks #remus x james #james x remus #james potter x remus lupin #remus lupin x james potter #marauders era #platonic lilypad #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #james and sirius and remus and peter #the prank

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yourlocalchronicdaydreamer · 3 months ago

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this was supposed to be a microfic for @maraudersgirlsprompts but it kind of turned into a one-shot sorry • platonic lilypad • 1129 words

“This is stupid,” Lily muttered to herself.

Groaning in frustration, she dipped her quill in her ink bottle and made to cross out her fourth attempt, only she used too much ink and blotted the parchment. God, she missed pens. Stupid quills and stupid ink and stupid star charts for stupid Astronomy. Why did wizards have to be so … archaic? What did they have against joining the twentieth-century and teaching students something actually useful to them instead of rote learning constellations?

“All right there, Red?” asked a voice behind her.

Lily swivelled away from the night sky towards the figure in the doorway, only to narrow her eyes in suspicion. “What are you doing here, Black? Are you and Potter planning on blowing up the Astronomy Tower or something?” She paused. “You know what, if you did that, then I wouldn’t have to take this stupid class anymore, so go ahead.”

Sirius chuckled as he sat down next to her, glancing at the half-drawn star charts with words furiously crossed-out that littered the floor. “That doesn’t sound like you, Red,” he smirked. “Shouldn’t you be all for ‘following the rules and maintaining perfect grades’ or whatever?”

She glared at him. “I don’t sound like that. And for your information, I study because we’re at a magic school where I get to learn magic to become a good witch. Why on earth wouldn’t I want to try my best to learn that? Unlike you fancy pure-bloods, I haven’t been around this my whole life, you know.”

He nodded, as if humouring her. “So what’s Astronomy done to offend you, then?”

“It’s pointless!” she half-yelled. “Everything else we learn here is teaching us all about either magic skills or the magical world, all things that are helpful for lots of careers and also just being a part of wizarding society. I do well at those classes because I’m motivated to study for them, because there’s a point to them. But there’s no point to this, and unlike you, I can’t do it all effortlessly, so now I’m stuck working on this stupidly hard assignment instead of sleeping because for some reason they’re making us do a subject that can only be done at midnight even though there’s no point to it.”

He raised his eyebrows at her, leaning back. “You’re really passionate about this, huh? You don’t have any subjects in the muggle world that don’t serve much of a purpose?”

She shook her head. “I mean, in most subjects you’ll never use the content again after school, but they actually teach you important skills, like critical thinking. This is nothing but looking at the sky and memorising the names of a bunch of identical white dots. Why are we learning it?”

“Pure-blood nonsense,” he shrugged. “Traditionally, wizards have always put a lot of stock in the stars, have prided themselves on the fact that they know more about astronomy than muggles-”

“Is that even true?” Lily interrupted. “Muggles have been to the moon.”

“Who knows?” he said. “The point is, this is the kind of pretentious, esoteric knowledge that pure-bloods want their kids to have. Especially the Black family. Most of them are named after things in space. My name is -”

“The brightest star in the sky,” she finished wryly. “A fact that you’re always very fond of reminding everyone.”

He grinned. “I am very bright. But if you look out there,” he said, gesturing out the window towards the sky, “you can see my dear old dad, and my uncle Alphard, and cousin Bella. Andy’s got a whole galaxy to herself. And there, right at the heart of the lion, is my brother.”

“Regulus?” Lily asked. Sirius didn’t talk about his brother much; if she hadn’t heard his name called at the sorting ceremony at the beginning of the year, she probably wouldn’t even know that.

Sirius nodded. “Ironic, isn’t it, that he was named after a lion but I’m the one in Gryffindor.” He visibly hesitated, then spoke again. “Before I started Hogwarts, we were really close. But then we were separated for a year - because I left him all alone - and even now we’re in the same building, he barely looks at me. Sometimes I come up here just to feel like I’m with him because …”

“Because it hurts,” Lily said softly. “I get it.”

“I know,” he admitted. “That’s why I’m telling you.”

There was a pause again, and then he sat up, clearing his throat as if to shift the emotion out of the air. “Anyway, where were we? Yes - the Black family’s penchant for useless knowledge about the stars. It’s a huge part of our private tutelage, you know, memorising this stuff. I knew this entire star chart like the back of my hand by the time I was seven.”

Lily looked at him in shock. “Wait, is that why you’re so good at this stuff? Because you’ve been learning it your whole life instead of stuff like English and Maths?”

Sirius frowned, bemused. “Muggles spend that long learning that stuff? What is there to know besides reading, writing, and handling money?”

She raised her eyebrows at him. “God, I would destroy all of you smug pure-bloods in a maths test or a spelling bee.”

“What’s a spelling … never mind. Smug? Is that really all you think of me? I’m wounded, Red, wounded.”

“Not you specifically. Just … pure-bloods. It all seems to come so naturally to so many people, and there’s already lots who don’t think I belong in this world, and here I am having to work twice as hard to maintain the perfect grades so …”

“So you feel you don’t deserve to be here,” he finished. She nodded, ducking her head away from him out of embarrassment. “You know that’s rubbish, Red; you’re a brilliant witch. We’re only in second-year, and Slughorn probably already wants to set you up to be a famous potioneer just so he can claim to know you. All those Slytherins just have stupid, old-fashioned prejudices. You don’t need to prove yourself to them.”

“Thank you,” she said. “That was … uncharacteristically nice of you.”

“I’ll have you know I’m a very nice person, Red,” he said as he took the star chart from her. “Now, let’s get this finished so we can both go to bed, and in return, tomorrow you can use your potions genius to help me with that annoying essay Slughorn wants done by Monday.”

They stayed up there for another half-hour, bickering light-heartedly and looking at the stars as they filled up her parchment, and as they walked back to the Common Room, Lily was pleasantly surprised to find that she’d made a friend out of Sirius Black.

#lily evans #sirius black #platonic lilypad #marauders #marauders era #the marauders #the marauders era #marauders fanfic #marauders microfics #marauders era girls #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #zoe writes about marauders #marauders oneshot #maraudersgirlsprompts

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