#i think thats my sign off?
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Fellow plurals, I love you, but please do not give your exact age if your a minor. Ever. That is so unsafe. Saying minor is enough, you don't need to specify the exact age of the body.
Sincerely, a very concerned big brother
#~mikey#i think thats my sign off?#please do not give your exact age out please#plural#actuallyplural#actually plural#plural irl#plural community#pluralgang#plural system#plurality#this is for systems of all origins so tags are for reach#endogenic#traumagenic#mixed origin#mixed origin system#did#osdd#please for the love of god dont give your exact age out
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guy whos been using the zosan tag like diet erisol for months: yeah i think eridan could be convinced to get into one piece. yeah ill do that for @erisolweek free day
(if any of the japanese parts are clunky or off in any way, thats on me for only having translation pages and absorbed one piece knowledge to go off of, LOL. unfortunately, headcanoning that trolls can use languages like theyre just accents doesnt give me the power to depict it flawlessly)
#tmos has art#eridan ampora#sollux captor#erisol#erisolweek#erisol week#anyways tag trivia time <3#first off; yeah my sollux is just a little bit of a weaboo. i uh. think it'd be a little messed up if i (white) made him east asian LOL#glances at the yellow peril. glances at the yellow blood with special powers with throwing stars in his room. myeah#second off; originally i was going to have eridan do a pun on electric marimo with 'denkimo' as the nickname he uses#it. TECHINCALLY could have worked but frankly as soon as i realized katamari as a word was an option to work with that one felt safer LOL#third. i keep laughing at the thought of eridan having sanji eyebrows that are wavy like his sign instead of curly LOL#alright thats enough trivia. ill save other thoughts for if people are curious later lmao
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chthonic sign language 101 with alekto @chrysanthemumgames
#need you all to understand this is not mean spirited. i see this as alekto going like.#'oh thats a good question. but gestures =/= sign language... though some gesture are universal'#'hmm. the closest equivalent i can think of is. well' (alekto flips seph off) and seph finds this so funny LMFAO#if anyone would like to adjust/correct these signs let me know i was using a bunch of asl dictionaries#fields of asphodel#foa#asphodelgame#my art#alekto#persephone#hekate
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happy birthday, nao
(nothing to rely on - mohsen sokard)
#okay theres honestly a lot i could say about this#first off this is based off the au where nao and shin were high school friends#and as midori takes shin with him more often the signs start to come out#maybe most of his classmates don't notice his absence but nao does#not knowing why her friend is gone and forgetting important things feels so frustrating#i think nao would be mad.. but feel guilty for it when she remembers the better times#on my other high school au post of them i saw someone rb with a really good tag...#it was along the lines of shin's trauma changing him so much that nao doesnt recognize him in the death game#and that shin doesn't remember nao because of memory loss from being with midori#REALLY good. really fucked up. anyway thats it#yttd#your turn to die#kimi ga shine#rpg horror#rpg maker#shin tsukimi#sou hiyori#midori yttd#nao egokoro#my art
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@breadvidence recently wrote a great bit of Les Mis meta where they pointed out how Jean Valjean’s “compliments” to Javert in Montreuil-sur-Mer really are just..... conciliatory flattery, and don't reflect his real feelings about Javert at all. And that's a great point, and something I wish more people explored! Lines like "you are a good man and I esteem you" aren't Jean Valjean's earnest feelings towards Javert. Instead they’re examples of the way Jean Valjean often retreats into excessive deferential politeness to authority as a survival strategy. As I mentioned in another recent post— Jean Valjean is a genuinely kind person, but he’s also someone who often has literally no choice but to act overly polite to authorities/the police, because if he’s not polite enough they might start to find him suspicious. If he doesn't lick their boots enough, they might start investigating him. He's instinctively deferential out of fear of violence. He's flattering out of fear. He's polite "at gunpoint." He's polite to cops the way you're polite to an armed police officer who pulls you over.
And Jean Valjean's polite tranquil behavior towards Javert during Javert's "resignation"— saying things like “you are a good man and I esteem you, I want you to keep your job” and etc etc— is later explicitly confirmed to be at least somewhat of a calculated tactical decision Jean Valjean made out of terror:
He was carried away, at first, by the instinct of self-preservation; he rallied all his ideas in haste, stifled his emotions, took into consideration Javert’s presence, that great danger, postponed all decision with the firmness of terror, shook off thought as to what he had to do, and resumed his calmness as a warrior picks up his buckler.
I love the phrase "he resumed his calmness as a warrior picks up his buckler"-- it's such a great way of summarizing how Jean Valjean's ability to have polite conversations even when he's breaking down internally has been such a useful defense mechanism for him. I also love the contrast between the excessively polite way Jean Valjean talks to Javert when he’s acting out of terror/self-preservation….vs the more honest way he talks about Javert when he’s alone during Tempest in a Skull:
“That Javert, who has been annoying me so long; that terrible instinct which seemed to have divined me, which had divined me—good God! and which followed me everywhere; that frightful hunting-dog, always making a point at me, is thrown off the scent, engaged elsewhere, absolutely turned from the trail: henceforth he is satisfied; he will leave me in peace; he has his Jean Valjean. Who knows? it is even probable that he will wish to leave town! And all this has been brought about without any aid from me, and I count for nothing in it!”
It's just extremely funny. The contrast between “you are a good man and I esteem you” vs “that Javert, who has been annoying me so long” <3 The contrast between “you are an honest man” vs “that frightful hunting dog” <3 The contrast between “I want you to keep your job” vs Jean Valjean fantasizing enthusiastically about how hopefully Javert will leave town and never ever annoy him again. <3
It makes the “Punish Me, Monsieur le Maire” stuff even funnier. Jean Valjean is dissociating out of panic and saying whatever polite platitudes he thinks will flatter Javert....but those polite platitudes keep making Javert spiral further into long-winded deranged rants about how he dESPISES this kindness and it enRAGES him, as Jean Valjean just sits there very politely & quietly losing his mind. It’s peak comedy really.
I feel like Jean Valjean’s deeply weird thing with Javert often gets flattened in different directions, when people interpret it. Either Jean Valjean is an all-forgiving all-loving angel who thinks Javert did nothing wrong, and all of his flattery is sincere expressions of admiration—- or Jean Valjean is (like in the BBC version) the kind of violent pitiless person who would angrily order Javert to kill himself. It's rare for writers to get anything resembling the hilariously baffling ambiguous Weirdness of his relationship with Javert in the book. I think it's because adaptations often don't grasp the idea that a genuinely kind compassionate character can also (underneath it all) still be deeply tormented, broken, and angry-- and that their anger doesn't mean they're any less kind, or any less capable of pity and mercy.
#is this coherent?#who knows#les mis#jean valjean#people might take this as me being anti valvert or whatever. but it is the opposite. it is a valvert post#this is Thee dynamic#the comedic potential#the hijinks that could ensue#also a tangentially related thing:#I think the thing that often puts me off a lot of valvert fics#is that I think most writers believe 'jean valjean being excessively kind to javert' would be a sign their relationship had *improved*#whereas to me its like#almost the opposite in a way?#I think maybe you would know Jean Valjean actually had a healthier dynamic with Javert#if he was comfortable enough to be angry with him or upset with him#without needing to be afraid that he'd suffer consequences for not being excessively respectful/deferential/ polite#and thats my hot take#like comment and subscribe! -dabs#read 'Annoyances' by secretmellowblog on Ao3
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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the disorder faking in this generation is genuinely wild. like.
#yiure meaning to tell me you have DID#a disorder known for severe memory loss#a disorder known to be so so difficult to disgnose to anyone unrer the age of 18#and all of ur alters r fictional cjaracters?? all of them remember to sign off with a silly emoji?? all remember how to use a phone??#bullshit genuine bullshit i dont care#maybe thats because i have an interest in psychology but . be so for realm#if youre gonna fake a disorder at least do the minimum amount of research#i dont even qanna get STARTED on the “autism” community#“w-wait this isnt normal??” and its like. being tired after social events.#i guarentee it is normal.#Good lord stop diagnosing yourself off tiktok or instagram reels#see genuine psychiatrists / doctors 😭.#self diagnosing isnt valid#never will be#btw#if you think you have a disorder do research and dont announce it like youve been diagnosed for the past 7 years#“i think i have adhd because i have heavy symptoms” is more mentally positive then “I ABSOLUTELY HAVE ADHD I SAW 3 REELS”#exaggeration but you know what i mean#“b-but zai!! what about the people who cant get a diagnosis!!” womp womp?? use the point i said before????#therell come an age for everyone where they can go be independant with it and seek genuine help bruh#my bad for ranting but like. christ.#normalise mental illnesses but not the way half of you are doing it ....#🌱 idle#🌱 rant
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Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me
#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what#oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened#it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs#200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs#like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo#also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1098#also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here#sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido#episode 1099#<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him#and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr#LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain#zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto#robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself#after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK#episode 1100#<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Honestly your tags are so fun to read every time, i'm almost more excited for them than the actual post (but not entirely because your art is SO GOOD!!!! i adore it). If you don't mind me asking, what are you studying?
i am studying psychology because i refuse to see a therapist so ill figure out whats wrong with me myself !!!!!!!
#snap chats#WITH. a minor in human resources ☝️ because im evil or something#and whatever character/s i decide to fixate on for the next three years i will also psychoanalyze them I Guess. //loud coughing//#tbh i only saw a therapist to get medicine but since bloodwork is expensive without insurance i dont even do that anymore. sad !#but yeah im a certified rambler if i dont share every thought i have so people understand me as much as i want them to ill die#which is why charles xavier if youre out there you have full rights to my brain .......... //gross wink sound//#why cant telepaths be real itd make my life so much easier. i woudnt have to talk a mile a minute anymore#because i do talk very fast because growing up my mom would cut me off a lot#so now i talk fast in fear of being cut off without all my thoughts being heard. anyways.#thank you for also enjoying my art :] a sideshow to the glory that is my tags i KNOWWW but im glad my efforts are not unnoticed 😌#back to My Major tho when i was in middle school i thought i wanted to go into comic books#but then i thought id lose my love for drawing if i did it professionally so now i do it. semi professionally#on my own terms babyyyy thats right. and if im lucky i get paid to draw my faves im living the dream babes#thats why my text posts take nine years for me to type im legitimately sitting here thinking if i said everything i wanted#and if i worded it right but even then after it's up im like 'but did i word it right tho' but its like 'bro just fucking POST IT'#'ITS NOT THAT DEEP' its as my favorite professor once told me 'youre very paranoid' and he's right !!!! im very paranoid 🥰#ok im done now. see thats why i say Ok Im Done Now its a sign im forcing myself to shut UP#wait not done Almost but not quite i was rewatching 97 to Try to get caps of charles in his combat uniform#and i fear i still cackle at erik telling charles to shut up like PLEAAASSE...... i need that bit CLIPPED#it makes me giggle ... someone remind me to clip all of erik's cameos in the squirrelgirl podcast btw#ive been meaning to do that for weeks but. oops <3 i need all my grandpa's moments CATALOGUED and AT THE READY..#ok i done fr now i have class with my you're-paranoid professor in like an hour and i wanna get some work done before then#BYYYYYEEEE. FOR LIKE TWENTY MINUTES PROBABLY IDK
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can I ask why you don’t like domi? a lot of leafsblr really like him and I was wondering if he did something? to put down a guy on “your team” that much must have something behind it
i didn't like him before he was a leaf and i don't subscribe to the idea that you have to support everyone just because they're "on your team"... especially in a sport like this where the makeup of most of the team changes a LOT every couple years. it's not like domi is crucial to the identity of this team in any way, lol. he's been here for 5 seconds.
i try not to dig too much into these guys past quotes and shit like that because obviously in the nhl, there are a lot of unpleasant realities below the surface but. i can't help the stuff i've seen about him liking trump and parroting racist and xenophobic quotes about watching 'who we let into our countries' like... it's colored my perception of him before this year, and it's not changing just bc he's good buds with the known anti-vaxxer on the team now like 😭 he gives me the ick and will continue to no matter how much new fans latch on to any guy that's a leaf and wanna post about him. everyone's threshold for that stuff is different, but he's not rlly done anything to endear me to him on a personal level.
#easks#i also think a lot of leafsblr seem to be new this year lol and just latched onto a lot of the newer signed ppl also#not that its necessarily a bad thing but seeing ppl claim this team is the closest theyve been like#i blatantly do not think u knew of anything the past couple yrs of the leafs then.. went from holl kerf muzz bunts to this. downgrade#the vibes are very off this year to me just. in the makeup of the team. im trying to enjoy as best i can but#guys like domi bertuzzi reaves can put me on the edge of not rlly liking the id of the team so#not gonna choose to focus on them or their questionable personal qualities i've known abt and seen#not like i go hunting for reasons to hate anyone in the league.. its legit just stuff thats come up on my radar blatantly#the last couple yrs when ppl hit the markets and stuff#like if we win the cup. beautiful. i still hope we ditch some guys eventually LKFJDSKL#ALSO. when max says dumb shit in the media... be real its open season on being a cocky shit lol#hes the faux tough guy uncle fans go nuts for but like. hes not his dad
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hi everyone, my name is molly and i am addicted to spider solitaire
#hi molly...#BRO#FREE ME#im working on a paper motivating myself with if i finish a section i get to play a game#i was playing all the way up to the second my lecture started#im thinking abt spider solitaire while i eat#while i sleep#where is this energy for productive things#like fanfiction#i make myself laugh actually#also i need to specify it is SPIDER SOLITAIRE#not the boring normal kind#two suit spider solitaire.#this is the stupidest thing i've ever posted#whatever#u signed up for this#also wtf why am i abt to hit 500#thats too many#i am thinking... of a event#i have some time coming up roughly when ill hit it#12 hr train ride = one chapter of a fic LOL#ill stop talking#this post was abt solitaire#gonna finsih my game now#off my rocker#<- truly
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the structure in mac and dennis break up
this is gonna be a short post tbh, I just rewatched the episode and I have a couple of thoughts.
if you need a refresher on what I think the structure is in general, I talk about it here.
I think Mac and Dennis Break Up shows us an example of Mac and Dennis (and Charlie and Frank) working properly in regards to the structure, let me explain why:
First... I don't think there's a need for me to describe the plot of the episode, we all know.
What I want to focus on, is that at one point Mac moves in with Frank and Charlie, and starts bringing his way of life to them.
At first, Frank is thrilled.
"I could use a little structure in my life here." he says.
This reminds me of dialogue from Carries a Corpse.
"Nobody admit this to Mac, but... I feel like he was carrying a ton of weight."
"That would be another one of his annoying identities... the man who could carry stuff."
He's been shown carrying Dennis, on top of generally being inclined to micromanage, take care of others so they're safe, and make decisions or at least demand to be consulted in them (like which movie to watch on movie night).
That's when Mac works best, so I assume that Mac generally brings structure (or is a man of action, as he describes it).
Later on, we see Mac take this too far, and Frank doesn't like it anymore. To me, this is because what this episode tells us is that Charlie and Frank don't work well with a set structure, the way that Mac provides. They're more free.
I think this reading is important because it shows me why The Gang Gets Romantic fundamentally fails in its objective (not as an episode god forbid, I mean in the narrative, especially for Mac and Dennis).
It applies the romcom structure to Charlie and Frank, while it doesn't to Mac and Dennis, when it should be the opposite. Throughout the episode we see that Mac and Dennis keep fitting the tropes to the romcom structure, but they refuse to follow it, and thus it crumbles. It can't work.
Here's another thing.
Dennis' back broke in the S15 finale.
That is funny, yes, but what does this mean when I say that Mac is the (his) structure, then?
Well... Carries a Corpse implies that Mac was carrying most of the weight of the corpse, and the corpse is meant to be the show... and most show meta is basically the same as Dennis meta (most meta lines seem to relate to him, whether the fact he left for north dakota and came back, or the fact he's a dad, being between life and death, breaking his back aka the structure, and so on), as I have discussed better in my other post.
Point being, Mac carries Dennis. That's what he's meant to do, and what he does best in their relationship.
This makes me think of another recent scene that I think is emblematic of their dynamic... but in an interesting way.
So, in 2020: a Year in Review, Mac and Dennis work together on a song.
They seem to be in harmony, but eventually start disagreeing and stop altogether to focus on something else. Why?
Because Dennis is working on the backup vocals, and Mac is working on the words. Which means their roles are reversed. Mac is supposed to be carrying the song, like the wind beneath his wings that he is, and Dennis, like the man of words that he is, should be responsible for the lyrics. They're doing each other's job, which means any harmony they reach is still bound to crack a bit the moment the song doesn't work for them.
Their seating position on their sofa reflects this.
Compare it to Mac and Dennis Break Up, which is supposed to be our ideal.
They're in each other's places, in 2020.
This isn't new, they've been sitting in each other's places ever since Break Up. Mac was sitting in Dennis' place in MFHP, Dennis was sitting in Mac's place in Gets Romantic.
So tl;dr... Mac and Dennis work well under structure, when Mac is the one to bring it and carry Dennis. They fit a proper couple structure after all. Charlie and Frank don't work as well under structure, since their relationship is more unique and doesn't quite abide by normal rules because of that.
This does bring me to one last consideration though...
They're back in their right spots, in season 16! Only problem is... couch is different. I would argue an inflatable couch doesn't offer the same amount of support (structure) that a normal one would...
Now that Dennis' structural essence broke, is he gonna feel what it's like when Mac is absent?
Perhaps this is why in Cursed we get Mac as the lucky one while the others as so unlucky they start to believe they're cursed (according to the synopsis...).
So the whole gang needs Mac?
Well...
In Goes To Hell pt2, when they build the human pyramid, it's both Mac and Dennis that end up at the bottom, as its structure.
So maybe... Dennis needs Mac as his structure, and the gang needs them to be in sync so they can both, together, support them (or shut the hell up about it, as both madbu and s15 would argue). Maybe this realization could be what brings the gang to work together in order to get them together. But that's getting into just speculation so imma end it here.
I like these thoughts though... Mac and Dennis being the foundation, the structure of the whole thing :)
#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#s16 spoilers#always sunny#macdennis#macden#analysis#meta#this is as good as ''mac is the rat dennis is the cheese and together they're the trap of macdennis''#i do love building meta off of other meta that i pre-established... makes me feel like im citing my own research papers#if this only makes sense to me im so sorry my bad. it will happen again#this was born as a twitter thread while i rewatched madbu and things started making a bit too much sense so i had to write about it#i think if by the end of inflates they go back to their normal couch thats like golden sign that macden is going canon#cuz they maybe start experimenting different couches and none of them work for them. so they start blowing them all up#you know. like the stew!!! throwing it in the face instead of eating. using it wrong to get a thrill.#but by the end theyre like... no actually. our old one worked the best. for us. it worked. it supported us right#not flimsy like an inflatable couch is#so mark my words. if by the end of inflates we see macden sitting AT THEIR RIGHT SPOTS with THE RIGHT COUCH mirroring madbu...#then macdennis is gonna happen. period#dennis is gonna figure out that mac is his structure and theyre gonna go back. together. at the BOTTOM of the gang pyramid#getting pissed on together<3 like meerkats#dennis ''i aint goin down'' reynolds when hes destined to be part of the structural support and thus has to go down and stay down#dedicating this post to parker and joe they'll know what i mean#dennis reynolds#mac mcdonalds
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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what are the consequences of lying to a psychiatrist asking for a friend
#AKA what wld their reaction likely be if i told them i havent been taking my meds for the past month#and that ive felt better in that time than ive felt in the past 2 years#thats like. thats good right#thats a sign i *shldnt* be taking these meds right#like im not saying im anti-medication or smth#there are still things going on w me that i think meds cld help with#i just really truly believe i was put on the wrong ones at first#and rather than stop and go “okay maybe these ones arent working” we just started treating the side effects with OTHER meds#like#fuck#i KNEW they werent working from the moment i started taking them#and i TOLD my drs#but they were just like “give it more time” or “well lets add this one on and see how you feel”#im so curious now what this past year wldve been like if id never taken any meds#i genuinely think it wldve gone better#anyway. i think im just gonna be honest w him#im not a danger to myself or others rn#i dont think hed see it as a Red Flag or anything#im specifically trying to tell him how much *better* i feel off of them#god. wish me luck.
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hey does anyone know any jobs that are good for people with anxiety and autism and if so how would i get there
#recent grads in my major are facing the worst job market in years (and i would be miserable in programming anyway so thats off the table)#my IT job rn is actual hell on earth but thats a whole other thing#unironically i think customer service was the least awful position i've held but oof that wrecked me physically#and all of my interests are in the industries with the most worker exploitation 😃👍 and i wouldn't know where to get connections regardless#the only jobs listings near me are minimum wage or delivery drivers :(#the signs are pointing me to go back to school but hhhhhg i don't know if i could afford that on my own now#screams into pillow#text
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Haven't had much of a choice but to face my problems head-on of recent. My worst nightmare. Funnily enough, this "road to recovery" has kept me in a constant state of distress and sickness.
#it's going to be months before i even get HELP.#its just receptionist after receptionist. doing the things that make me sick to my stomach over and over#the things i need help with. and i havent become desensitized to it. its actually made my generalized anxiety ten times worse#i lack motivation completely. ive done nothing. nothing recently#my MaDD is off the charts. i do nothing but pace and talk to myself these days.#i dont want to do this anymore. ive had “ptsd” flareups. i put it in quotations cause im not exactly diagnosed#but fucking god if it doesnt feel like it. think i need to get out of this house. obviously the memories will never leave if#my everyday setting is a million red warning signs and reminders#ive nowhere to go. i dont know how to be a normal person.#theres nowhere i WANT to go. i dont want to do anything. i have no plan for the future and never have#nothing nothing nothing thats all life has been my whole life. what the fuck#sorry ik this is pretty emo for me but its been worse thess past few days. i prob delete this in like an hour out of shame#but for now ill post it here. whatever#[ RJ ]
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