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#i think i’m making progress tho
inkykeiji · 1 year
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started off my day by listening to married in mount airy and thought i was doing pretty flippin well all things considered but then my boyfriend woke up n walked into the room like hi baby come gimme a hug and i just broke down in his arms v abruptly :/
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sunnibits · 1 year
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decided to join in on @quezify’s eggtober again this year as a little art warmup and I actually ended up really enjoying it!! it’s obviously way outside of my usual comfort zone so I’m very happy that I was able to create an end result that I’m proud of :)
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lynxfrost13 · 21 days
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I promised myself that if I did a solid workout today I would post HOPR lore I’m gonna be here all night 💪😭
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starlooove · 7 months
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I think what bothers me about ppl being surprised at removing the misogyny or making aang be responsible from the start instead of running away is that this is literally fandom trends representing themselves. Like when characters have to grow y’all run to downplay what they have to grow from! STICK WITH ME FANDOM SHIFT this is what bothers me so much about fanon Harley Quinn. Like if Harley never enjoyed or felt free or whatever with joker why are you calling her post relationship arc a redemption? Even back to heroics if bruce was never an asshole or close minded or ham fisted when it came to his kids where do you think the other identities started? What do you think their relationship is growing from? Like it’s so boring lmao
#And then you’ll create negativity that never existed as long as it keeps everything normal#no bruce was never suspicious of his precious baby Jason 🥺#dick hated him with a passion tho!#like ok. get off Twitter.#get off ao3.#pls and thank you#And the Harley one makes me sick bc I adore Harleys redemption especially as a character MADE for joker breaking out and becoming her own#but then y’all are like ‘well she was never BAD! she was manipulated and brainwashed the whole time! and never contributed to anything#significant!’#what is the redemption y’all are speaking of?#THIS IS ZUKOS FAULT#sorry I’m not getting into my opinion on his entire redemption#but like. he was the prime example of perfect victim#and that’s not BAD or whatever I think the progression of his arc was great#I just think y’all overstate ‘redemption’#but not even Zuko Iroh! the way y’all collectively forgot or ignored that he SUCKED!#sorry I swear I ranted to my brother about this for an hour this morning actually#but I forgot every name I pulled#but in conclusion this redemption that’s not rlly redemption cause my fave was never bad thing is soooo#IK i shit on tim but Jason Stans step forward please#I was gonna say Damian but the reason I’m not is bc god forbid y’all actually let him redeem himself#like he feels so much guilt and remorse and y’all are like ‘the haughty princeling wanted poor wittle Drake DEAD at every turn’#also he was ten#and yknow what I think bothers a lot of ppl#that even through the remorse he acknowledges that he was a child and doesn’t allow for the adults in his life to just skate by while he#wallows. which is what I’m sure so many of y’all would prefer to see as per ao3#but no Damian does actually demand accountability from everyone involved including but not limited to himself!#but also I do adore his redemption arc bc yeah he did do that shit and it sucked#however I will never discuss it with fandom ppl who can barely name two of his friends that aren’t Jon. maybe they’ll know Colin and maya i#if they’re really about it…
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noxchievous · 2 years
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I wanted to practice digital painting, so I did a little screenshot redraw with Penny!
original screenshot :
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j-esbian · 3 months
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thinking abt how much of my life i’ve lost to depression and i truly want to throw up
#day to day doesn’t feel like much but. oh no it’s been like fully a decade#i wish therapy wasn’t so expensive#bc for a while i was on meds (that. didn’t do much tbh.) but that made me feel like i was Treating It so i was making progress#spoiler alert it did not. and now the fact that i’ve wasted so much of my life is making it worse#bc everyone else i know has like. lives and people in them#and i pretty much just have my parents. and my mom is also going through it#i have relied SO much on them and that also feels bad!!! feels like i’ve taken advantage of them!!!!!#i know people talk about how much it messes w your memory but i figured it was short term bc the days all blend together#i literally had a moment yesterday where i forgot i went to college at all#the whole thing feels like a missed opportunity bc i didn’t do anything i wanted to really#i was too afraid to go to clubs that looked interesting. i didn’t think practically abt what i was studying#i mostly didn’t have roommates but when i did i was Bad At It#i managed to go through the whole time only speaking to like. three people#so you can see how it’s kind of. completely forgettable#i have worked jobs bc it’s a paycheck. never really enjoyed them never really made friends (even tho now i’m kicking myself for not keeping#in touch with some people) but i have always kept a very strong work/life division even in school#because i was there to do a Specific Thing so that’s all that matters yknow#anyway. sometimes i DO wish i could go back to high school bc even tho it sucked. it was structured#and i had resources and more time to try things and like. a life outside of my computer. a little bit#yknow. i feel like people have more sympathy if you’re anxious abt everything and never gone outside#when you’re 16 as opposed to 25
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haliaiii · 11 months
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wip? (the grind never stops)
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mqonlighting · 8 months
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real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.
will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again
#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be#a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute#ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to#‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m#not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik#ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig#and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs#but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord.#i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were#i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve#tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit#on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i#would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther#but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall#y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the#prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would#turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on#us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just#and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel#like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO#SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like#think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein#nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I#HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and#during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say#smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and#think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail#in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS.#I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE#BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK
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floral-hex · 4 months
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Two hours. I got two hours of sleep. I’m so frustrated with myself.
Went to the ER. Everyone was very nice. They gave me an IV bag of fluids (I was dehydrated! Sad cactus!) and a little ativan (teeny dose), which was nice at the time! Just a little amount, but the (mostly) quiet room, fluids, and meds managed to relax me a lot. Could have fallen asleep if the bed was actually comfortable. Then they packed me up, gave me another little Ativan to take home for tonight, and said they’d contact my primary. Cool cool. Got some much needed food on the way home, then took the pill and got comfy. Again, smallest dosage they make, so no feeling too good. Managed to muscle past my anxiety to fall asleep, and… 2 hours. Woke up. Tried to go back to sleep. Too frustrated and anxious and I feel like crap. What should I do? Just eat a whole gummy and hope that knocks me out? For me, that feels like playing roulette. Could work, yeah. Could make me sleepy and pliable. Could also backfire and make me feel sick and extra anxious for another 5 or 6 hours. What do I do? Roll back up to the ER? “Hewwo, I woke up and I need more benzos 👉👈🥺” haha funny, but I’ve seriously been thinking about it 😑
God, I’m miserable. Been sitting outside on the porch for a bit. Not quite an hour. Needed to get out of the apartment, but tbh, nearly 4am outside isn’t doing much for me. I just feel alone. It wouldn’t help with sleeping, per se, but just someone, I dunno, hugging or holding me for a few minutes would honestly save me a little. What a mess. Oh yeah, and apparently my kidneys are going 👎👎👎 down. Bad meat. Not great test results. Not what I’m focusing on tonight. I’m a mess. Anyway, this was my update. Sorry for all the walls of text. Suppose this is mainly for me to look back on in the future, but can’t pretend it’s not at least a little validating to put this all out into the world and knowing that maybe one or two people read this and I didn’t suffer completely without recognition. Yeah…
#this is a lot of text#not really a casual read#ok ok… I can’t sit outside forever#gonna go back inside and I dunno make a hot chocolatey drink. grab some snacks#TRY to feel good even though I don’t#YES will probably get a little high#hoping that the combo of sugar. salt. and thc will give me the sleepy tools to just pass out for awhile#just a few more hours! please!#omg I was so pissed when I woke up and thought I’d slept for awhile but realized I hadn’t#’ what do you mean the last text I sent was only two hours ago? ‘#seriously. I thought I fell asleep around 11 pm but it was closer to 1am.#stupid sexy ativan. messing with my sense of time#it really wasn’t that big of a dose! I was basically a little buzzed for an hour or so each time#but the doctor was nice and straightforward with me. I just dunno tho. I’m a big guy with a history of anxiety. .5mg is weaksauce#god I’m getting anxious just sitting here thinking about trying to sleep again#it’s feeding on itself. I’m trying to rationalize this but it’s just this feedback loop.#is this my life now? I’m outside. I feel so alone. I feel like I could die any moment. in a sword of Damocles way. it’s there and waiting.#ok sitting outside isn’t helping#after 4am and yes I see cars driving by. I hear the occasional siren. but I still feel alone in the world#please tell me life goes on? please tell me we’re not really at the end here.#I always feel like I’m staring at our final days. that we’re all barely here. fucking ghost planet. waiting to die.#there’s war and hate and everything is expensive and I can’t.. I’m not a part of this world. I’m too poor and sickly and so it all seems…#like we’re on our last leg. like the final days of a fire sale. this body feels fit for the grave. this world is the grave.#I’m scared#ok like I said sitting out here isn’t helping. Ian. please stop.#yes. yes. ok. snacks and drinks and distracting tv. let’s try this again.#sorry this is a lot#I spent the last 20 minutes writing these tags and getting progressively more anxious 😬#you can ignore this#text
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faggylittleleatherboy · 4 months
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It’s so stupid how adults will go around doing the equivalent of “blue is for boys and pink is for girls” on a global scale (both on queer and straight groups)
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sunnibits · 4 months
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hey, if you have arfid/any ed/any food sensitivity issues in general, do me a favor and reblog this and tell me these in the tags!: (as many or as little as you’d like - this is just for fun :))
- your current favorite safe food
- your favorite food in general
- one food that you can always manage to eat no matter what (if you have one!)
- one food that isn’t currently safe, but that you WANT to like or think you would like if you tried it
- the most recent new food that you have tried, and did you like it? (I’m so so proud of you either way!)
#I’ll go first!#my current favorite safe food is wellshire dino chicken nuggies oh my god they are SO good AND gluten free?? an actual miracle#genuinely idk what they put in that shit but it is way better than a chicken nugget has any right to be. ungodly. absolutely luxurious umami#anyways moving on 💀#my favorite food and the one food I can always eat is popcorn!#although brownies and ice cream are probably close second faves on the favorites category#one food that isn’t currently safe but that I WANT to love is stuffing :O#I think it smells great and I’ve been taking little bites of it recently whenever my dad makes it#and I enjoy the bites! I think I will rlly like it some day! but for some reason by the time I’m eating it on my plate I don’t like it#we’re working on it tho 🙏🙏 I WILL become a stuffing girly I WILL#and lastly the most recent new food I tried was a black raspberry chocolate ice cream from the place my friend works at#not that scary but still proud of myself for how casually I just took that whole bite down without being afraid!#it’s definitely not my thing but i would say it was a stress free experience#also. now that I’m thinking about it it’s kind of wild that I tried it in the first place??#like? that I WANTED to try it even after I found out it definitely wasn’t a flavor I would like?? I still just wanted the experience#that’s actually crazy wtf I didn’t think about that.#progress!!!!!#baby steps. baby steps.#tw ed#tw ed mention#gem don’t look#this is such a random post I just wanted to talk about recovery and have some community bonding yknow#we’re allll in thissss together 🕺💃🕺💃🕺
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persephoneflouwers · 1 year
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So mh…
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akkivee · 2 years
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so in regards to the bat charm, esp in the hella awesome banquet mv!!!!
the tag itself is called ofuda, a protective talisman!!! there are many different types of ofuda (omikuji are also classified as a kind of ofuda for instance) and throughout the hella awesome banquet mv, we do see the bat charm used as said various types!!!!
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here in these two shots, we see the bat charm used as a senjafuda!!! senjafuda are these talismans with personalised designs that, once upon a time ago in japan, were passed around in secret councils like trading cards. ofuda typically have a deity written on it to call for luck, wealth, health, whatever said deity presides over. senjafuda, however, tend to have the person’s name on it and when people would go on pilgrimages, they’d stick the senjafuda on temple shrine gates like a very decorative ‘we were here’ tag lol
fits with the journey to hell narrative that seems to be happening in the mv!!!
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and this type of ofuda is known as fuin no ofuda!!!! this one is used as a type of seal to keep evil, vengeful spirits enclosed and away from humans. the more powerful the spirit, the more seals are required to contain in the enclosed space. it’s already a little worrisome to see imagery of kuukou getting killed but this puts a evil spirit/vengeful spirit spin on top of it 🤔
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dontwanderoff · 10 months
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i think i’ve been filling out these report comments wrong fml
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spiralfucker · 2 years
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She’s getting there
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crybaby-bkg · 1 year
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whenever I write, I typically like to write everything all at once, even if I don’t know where I’m going with the scenes or physically don’t feel like it. but recently I’ve started writing scene by scene and it’s been helping so much!!! like I wrote one part yesterday morning, then the next part last night, and it just feels so much more achievable doing it like that. idk why I haven’t done this before lmao
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