#felt rlly good tho
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decided to join in on @quezify’s eggtober again this year as a little art warmup and I actually ended up really enjoying it!! it’s obviously way outside of my usual comfort zone so I’m very happy that I was able to create an end result that I’m proud of :)
#eggtober gives me SO much joy I’m so happy it’s happening again#I did two eggs last year and really enjoyed them so I thought it would be fun to try again and I was right!#I experimented with some new things and I really think I made some great progress from last years attempts :)#eggtober#eggtober2023#my art#art#‘warmup’ my ass lmao. I spent at least an hour on this.#felt rlly good tho#v fun I highly recommend trying to make an Egg even if you think it’s way outside of ur abilities!!#it really pushes you to experiment and play around and just have fun with art!
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okay it's 3am…. but i just watched the campos vlog for the first time as a new campos girlie and i'm- 🥺🥺 sebas and chris's hand heart? hello??
oh and i could go on a full rant about how freaking cute pepe is but i shall try my best to refrain… it will only send me into a spiral and i will end up not sleeping……. so instead i'll just drop off this vid of his ADORABLE laughter and call it a day 🫡
(also this ^^ specifically @ that one anon who sent me an ask weeks ago about his laughter…….😭)
#felt cute calling myself a campos girlie 😭#ive been a pepe girlie for quite some time but i never rlly felt anything special for campos as a team#these days tho 🤭#gotta learn spanish to be a campos girlie tho apparently#but tbh it felt good not understanding bcs then i could just focus on the pretty faces#okay just short about pepe#his smile :(((( he looks so genuinely happy#i wanna pinch his cheeks#oh and him measuring the ground ??? or whatever it was he was doing#like i saw it on their ig also last week but 😭#such a silly boy#love him sm#okay i need to not think anymore sorry#f2#pepe marti#campos racing
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my live reaction while reading "He's A Little Confused, But He's Got The Spirit" by @midnight-mourning
when im not in pain i HAVE to make fanart ourgh (oke back to my break ignore this)
#okay anyways its 8am im gonna pass out i haven't slept since yesterday#also going back to my break#not rlly drawing but i felt the need to yap#this DCA fic... im kind of obsessed i need to do fanart when my wrists aren't on fire#a little obsessed#reading this fic was... yeah#life is a fuck#ITS SOOO GOOD THO READ IT#confused spirit#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#fnaf sb#daycare attendant x reader#dca fandom#also i love sun here he's such a shit head /aff#need to read more dca fics on my radar ough but i gotta stop losing sleep for it
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I was gonna ominously send an anon ask going "I'm watching you I'm watching you I'm watching y" but anon is off so
*less threatening, much more jolly voice* i'm watching u ^_^
Dont worry my pookie saw me at work and so she took a photo of me through the window (you could see the back of my head) and sent it to me
nothing is going to top that
#it was rlly fucken funny tho#i came out to say hello because I knew roughly where to look because of the pic#all in good fun XD#jokes on her tho im in her walls#i screenshotted the image so its bad quality#hopefully bad enough that i havent doxed myself#oh well#it legit felt like that game where you have the night shift of a cafe#spooky to be send a pic like that haha
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i just think theres so much more to that time merlin was freeze-dying (get it? like freeze drying? im funny i swear) from the dorocha attack. like what if after those events, hes become extra sensitive to the cold??
like that man absolutely cannot STAND the cold, it not only brings back bad memories (and, unfortunately, reminds him of lancelot) but his body as an in general is weaker to it. so hes always looking for warmth- im talking sitting practically inches away from the fire, stealing blankets, jackets (particularly arthur-), cloaks (particularly arthurs)- you get the gist
and the others catch on, obviously- though they dont realise the severity of it til merlin nearly lights his arm on fire on a particularly chilly night on a hunt (“MERLIN what on EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” “im cold” “you’re ON FIRE” “im cold :(” “?!?!”)
after that arthur, the knights and gwen start gifting him little things- an old cloak arthur insists is too damaged and fugly to wear (its in nearly perfect condition), one of elyan’s old jackets he’d long since outgrown from gwen
and the knights, well their gift to merlin is their physical body heat (gwaine in particularly enjoys holding onto merlin like a koala with the excuse of keeping him warm. the only reason arthur doesnt kill him for it is cause of merlins content smile at being warm)
#also ive had this idea in my head of merlin going into lancelots room after his passing and wearing his clothes over his own#cause with lancelot was the last time he ever felt warm#and gwen finds him and they mourn together#i just think there were fanfic opportunities here#like merlin is a dragonlord (lizard) so#hes probably not good at regulating his body temp#the knights r like his heat mat or something#honorable mentions are leon gifting merlin new boots and percy knitting him mittens#elyan (who i still think really likes amphibians and by extention reptiles) probably redesigns merlins room to be a proper habitat for him💀#but like sorry my memory of merlin is rlly rusty! i havent been able to rewatch it ever since netflix took it down#and plus its been years since my hyperfixation ended#tho its recently come back… anyway#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin emrys#lancelot du lac#lancelot#the dorocha#the darkest hour
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losing my shit rn
#god the instruments for these 2 tho#also the amount of voices/accents this man does that both sound different but also rlly good#the announcer voice >>>>>>>>>>#also love how these felt like intro or outro songs to a musical or music heavy show#10/10 so damn good#also there sounded like a small wilhelmina waltz motif at the end of the haunted palace#love that i love motifs especially from waltz#chonny jash
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probably no new drawin until after christmas bc im hibernating rn! am curled up in a small hollow of a tree in a nest lined w moss and feathers. if u care.
#i hve an idea tho. a sketch. i will. get 2 it eventually#ive like. 180 decision n now im gna try doing picture book illu again KSNSJDNJS#i feel. more prepared for it now tho. gna. try stuff out. see what i like#im more confident now w th actual drawing its th colouring where im tripping up but! that will come with time!#im doin good tho! been making lots of scarfs for my loved ones#i slept round bfs house for th first time on weds n i felt. weird when i got home yday but we had a long chat n now i feel fine#im! gna try using aac with him when he comes round next week! im excited about it i think im going to rlly like it#all good things! things just feel. easier with him. living in my brain#i hope everyone has as of a safe and warm holidays as u can#hope ur tummy is full!!#barks
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I'm wondering if writing more self-indulgent fics would help me a bit..
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#debating HEAVILY#I have the ideas of Gallagher with a son#Boothill and a trans male reader#and then Robin just giving her lover affection..#like these are essentially self-inserts or shelf shipping or whatever..#which I've been scared to touch upon despite having a pretty good handful of mutuals who do this and whatnot#Idk man. like I'm not in the worst mental state ever obviously#but maybe writing some self-indulgent stuff where I (quite literally) write for myself to the point where I myself am the person being#referred to#If that makes ANY fucking sense..#idk I think mainly I've been having troubles feeling anything but gender dysphoria abt myself#I can't remember the last time I rlly felt strong gender euphoria in like the 3 or so years I've been out to ppl lol#I've had like little bits of it but nothing huge#anyways ummm yeah I don't like to be serious 💀💀#writing is definitely a coping mechanism of mine tho lol
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here to once again complain about ft and just the. existence of irene & being the mother of erza, which subsequently didn't matter at all after that arc ended. im scratching my head still at the prospect of giving erza an on-page mother, especially so late in the story with no build up outside the arc. idk if im making this up but i remember reading that it wasn't intentional at first, but irene ended up looking so much like erza that it was implemented in the story. i think thats dumb and stupid and boring and dumb!! fair warning that i barely acknowledge irene and erza's familial relation, any development is going be heavily canon-divergent & full of my own tweaks in regards to irene and her story..
#ooc.#ummm yeah and also irene sticking around in wendy was weird too its just ??? like why.#did anything even prove to be important about that outside of a “power upgrade” that couldve been accomplished another way#genuine question btw bc i dont even read 100yq and the last arcs of the main story are fuzzy#and this is coming from ME BTW??? I LOOOVE FAMILIAL ANGST & TENSION. opposing sides wouldve been SO delicious. but in the#end she ended up just??? confessing she's always loved her daughter and could never kill her--would rather DIE than do kill her#seemed so weird bc she was sooo cruel before the fight. literally 0 empathy in that noggin. and GOOD FOR HER!#idk that fight wouldve been better imo if it was these two ppl who felt so righteous & strong in their beliefs that they moved past being#related to each other. which erza did i think?? bc that person may have birthed her but she was never her mother or family.#that doesnt even work tho bc the only person who rlly Felt that familial connection was irene. they were literally strangers theres barely#a unique tension that it brings. it was just like any other fight..#erza had already found that family somewhere else. blood ties mean little to erza tbqh! and that holds strong with her past??#why couldnt irene match her freak.#also to have irene be THE creator of dragon slayer AND be a literaly dragon for 400(?) YEARS#AND THAT DOES NOTHING TO ERZA??? HELLOOOO#GIVE THAT BITCH HORNS OR SOMETHING GODDD#SO STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID
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meow more meow moew meow moew
meow
#feeling rlly good these past couple of days overall#feeling rlly good abt that#i am not gonna b “knocking on wood nor#waiting for the other shoe to drop…. the bad things will happen anyway#and yes ofc i feel worried and stressed quite a bit but tbh overall things have felt good in my brain for the past couple days#and like let me focus on that !!!!#most of the time my brain is focusing on tho gs that r upsetting & stressful & fearful of the future#so like idk i’m j trying to focus on how things feel in the moment#and currently overall they have been feeling p fucking good#like yes i felt exhausted and stresssed and anxious at some points thru out the day today#but horbslty those were j moments and the other moments i felt excited and happy and st peace and content and idk man!!!!#idk i’m not making sense i guess i don’t need to intellectualize it all at all….. im j feeling things#me
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and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain
#it is. the amatonormativity#^ guy who was REALLY pissed about the sandra lynn stuff#like yknow that bit in the first ep where brennan is like 'oh this drama is going down' and so like the pcs investigate it#probs bcos they think itll like kick off their new quest#and then it turns out to be like. petty romantic drama.#thats kind of a microcosm of the entire season for me#not to say there werent parts i liked (looks at the picture of baron i printed out and hung on my wall)#(and most of the leviathan stuff was brilliant and ayda is a role model for me)#but its all so tied up in the rest of that shit that i dont rlly wanna rewatch it the way ive rewatched fy 6+ times#likening this to aa3 bcos of the rlly noticeable uptick in romantic content in it compared to the rest of the trilogy#like prior to that all that rlly comes to mind is like. 2-3 and pearl's shipping shenanigans and larry existing#but in aa3 both mia and phoenix have past lovers who play big parts#theres a married couple theres tigre and viola (who sidenote i ENTIRELY missed as romantic my first playthru. i am dense)#there's the business with fawles#like it felt like romance played a large part in every case in aa3#where even when it came up in 1 + 2 it was usually ancillary (2-3 excepted but like. ppl regard that case as a fluke in most regards)#you COULD argue that maggey and adrian also inject some romantic presence in the story#but idk it just doesnt feel as central or prevalent as in aa3#like i saw a post abt adrian and celeste being cousins in the aa anime being not just the sailor moon 'best cousins' thing#but like. reinforcing the themes of familiar devotion as aa2's core. and that was rlly foundational to my understanding of the game#even tho its a change that comes from an adaptation#whereas you Couldnt make that change in aa3 without it changing A Lot of shit#where was i going with this. shrug.#the zelda and tracker relationship drama was entirely manufactured as punishing the pcs for not centering npcs#whose relationship issues were ancillary to the overarching plot they were focused on and which hadnt rlly been brought up beforehand#'why didnt gorgug call zelda :/' do u want zac to pause the kalina mystery to roleplay good relationship communication with the dm??#like its one thing looking at sy as a narrative but looking at it as a ttrpg campaign with limited time and a need to split character focus#i dont see what it did for the story besides give gorgug something to angst abt. didnt rlly feel like there was character growth or an arc#sigh. MANDATORY DISCLAIMER its been at least a year since i watched sy and longer before that since ive played aa3#but at the time my feelings were strong and have only calcified. romance as a theme in something not generally abt romance
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I finished life is strange True Colors
#WHY????? DONT PEOPLE LIKE THIS GAME???????#THAT WAS SO GOOD😭#FUCK AUDHHDHCJDHF#I’m holding Alex Chen so dearly in my hands ougufhhfh#that was the first life is strange game I didn’t outright cry at but I came very close with that#whole beginning sequence of chapter 5#it made me start tearing up and I just felt a deep gutteral sadness#cus there was so much of it I related to and it just rlly hurt to watch I felt for Alex and felt so fucking bad for her#also yes I romanced Steph💪💪💪#spoiler tag for the final choice:#I mean it this next tag after is a spoiler:#I chose to stay in Haven Springs for a reason I could write a whole essay on lmao#tldr Alex deserves community and to build a home somewhere permanent with people who care for her#if Steph was leaving no matter what tho I would’ve left#cus also Alex no matter what deserves to stay with the first person to choose her#snails ramblings
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ok i literally only did two prompts but thats it for now i will get to the ones in my inbox tomorrow ✌️✌️
#chronic pain rlly be like this tho#i hate feeling like i have to justify taking breaks like. its due to impostor syndrome honestly.#same w putting watermarks or dont repost disclaimers on my art#i didnt do it for a long time cuz i was like eh its not good enough for that#but like it doesnt matter if its good or not its still like... my art and i should safeguard it#what was i talking about again OH YEAH chronic pain#i felt kinda shitty for not being able to draw as much cuz my art feels more simple than rendered stuff#that ppl could churn out in a day#but like. im litrally physically disabled bro and also it doesnt matter how 'simple' i draw its still stress on my body#idk one person was mean to me and it made me sensitive lmao#anyway.... ill draw whats left in my inbox and then afterwards i'll be back to doing requests thru kofi#i did raise the price of my doodles but it is because of my arm pain im sorry if u think my doodles are worth less#but i am willing to negotiate if u genuinely cant afford it depending on complexity
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so. i played trespasser and i. oh my god
#me before: solas seems so well-meaning i wonder why everyone hates him so much???#me now: I Know Now.#i knew part of the twist but not the whole thing and holy shit this has altered my perception of him so drastically#still love him as a character tho god hes so fascinating#i actually!! loved all the companions there wasnt a single one that i disliked#and that ending actually felt p gratifying i liked it a lot#esp the drama w solas :) bc my inky rlly looked up to him and cared for him before the reveal#and in general i rlly enjoyed just the. 'hi and welcome to inquisitor trevelyans worst day of his entire life' energy#like my guy was Not having a good time and he had probably his worst snap in the entire game during this bit#i love angst and suffering
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Is oz gay like the wire?
oh Indeeeeed.... spoken in u know whose gay lil croon
#i havent seen oz in ages so forgive me if this quick lil doodle looks like shit#but basically the oz is like. a lot more criminally gay i guess than the wire#like it has more gay stuff ig but like. at the cost of ethics??#i mean.#it's a prison with a lot of life sentences or hard sentences shown (not always legally correct in terms of crimes to consequences smtimes..)#so the show has a lot of erm. crime#sometimes i feel like it shows edgy stuff just to be edgy lol#i guess like hmm#theres more gayness at the cost of more characters getting killed off just cus the writers felt mad at the actors that day or smthing#like actors would get killed off the very next day for being late once#where the wire is very purposeful with a lot of stuff purposefully not seen sometimes to keep it clean but also gritty#oz is like its batshit cousin that doesnt gaf#it DOES have good characters tho#i mean pretth much all of them would be cancelled today but LOL#it's just the writers' treatment of these characters' fates/ sometimes actions leading up to the fates are... bit odd#it got more seasons than the wire i think but the quality also went down so not sure if thats a big win but#yes. yes oz is gay#not rlly like the wire but it is indeed gay#bodies actor is in oz!!!!!#some of the wire actors show up here like carver
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big news friend just made me cry by calling me a girl (I'm literally cis)
#the dysmorphia was hitting a bit hard tho ! so this felt rlly good im gonna go give her kisses nka#i feel like a clown when i weat makeup and dresses ykwim that kind of dysmorphia#kal rambles
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