#felt rlly good tho
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decided to join in on @quezify’s eggtober again this year as a little art warmup and I actually ended up really enjoying it!! it’s obviously way outside of my usual comfort zone so I’m very happy that I was able to create an end result that I’m proud of :)
#eggtober gives me SO much joy I’m so happy it’s happening again#I did two eggs last year and really enjoyed them so I thought it would be fun to try again and I was right!#I experimented with some new things and I really think I made some great progress from last years attempts :)#eggtober#eggtober2023#my art#art#‘warmup’ my ass lmao. I spent at least an hour on this.#felt rlly good tho#v fun I highly recommend trying to make an Egg even if you think it’s way outside of ur abilities!!#it really pushes you to experiment and play around and just have fun with art!
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my live reaction while reading "He's A Little Confused, But He's Got The Spirit" by @midnight-mourning
when im not in pain i HAVE to make fanart ourgh (oke back to my break ignore this)
#okay anyways its 8am im gonna pass out i haven't slept since yesterday#also going back to my break#not rlly drawing but i felt the need to yap#this DCA fic... im kind of obsessed i need to do fanart when my wrists aren't on fire#a little obsessed#reading this fic was... yeah#life is a fuck#ITS SOOO GOOD THO READ IT#confused spirit#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#fnaf sb#daycare attendant x reader#dca fandom#also i love sun here he's such a shit head /aff#need to read more dca fics on my radar ough but i gotta stop losing sleep for it#pingyappathon#live ping reaction
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okay it's 3am…. but i just watched the campos vlog for the first time as a new campos girlie and i'm- 🥺🥺 sebas and chris's hand heart? hello??
oh and i could go on a full rant about how freaking cute pepe is but i shall try my best to refrain… it will only send me into a spiral and i will end up not sleeping……. so instead i'll just drop off this vid of his ADORABLE laughter and call it a day 🫡
(also this ^^ specifically @ that one anon who sent me an ask weeks ago about his laughter…….😭)
#felt cute calling myself a campos girlie 😭#ive been a pepe girlie for quite some time but i never rlly felt anything special for campos as a team#these days tho 🤭#gotta learn spanish to be a campos girlie tho apparently#but tbh it felt good not understanding bcs then i could just focus on the pretty faces#okay just short about pepe#his smile :(((( he looks so genuinely happy#i wanna pinch his cheeks#oh and him measuring the ground ??? or whatever it was he was doing#like i saw it on their ig also last week but 😭#such a silly boy#love him sm#okay i need to not think anymore sorry#f2#pepe marti#campos racing
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I was gonna ominously send an anon ask going "I'm watching you I'm watching you I'm watching y" but anon is off so
*less threatening, much more jolly voice* i'm watching u ^_^
Dont worry my pookie saw me at work and so she took a photo of me through the window (you could see the back of my head) and sent it to me
nothing is going to top that
#it was rlly fucken funny tho#i came out to say hello because I knew roughly where to look because of the pic#all in good fun XD#jokes on her tho im in her walls#i screenshotted the image so its bad quality#hopefully bad enough that i havent doxed myself#oh well#it legit felt like that game where you have the night shift of a cafe#spooky to be send a pic like that haha
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i just think theres so much more to that time merlin was freeze-dying (get it? like freeze drying? im funny i swear) from the dorocha attack. like what if after those events, hes become extra sensitive to the cold??
like that man absolutely cannot STAND the cold, it not only brings back bad memories (and, unfortunately, reminds him of lancelot) but his body as an in general is weaker to it. so hes always looking for warmth- im talking sitting practically inches away from the fire, stealing blankets, jackets (particularly arthur-), cloaks (particularly arthurs)- you get the gist
and the others catch on, obviously- though they dont realise the severity of it til merlin nearly lights his arm on fire on a particularly chilly night on a hunt (“MERLIN what on EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” “im cold” “you’re ON FIRE” “im cold :(” “?!?!”)
after that arthur, the knights and gwen start gifting him little things- an old cloak arthur insists is too damaged and fugly to wear (its in nearly perfect condition), one of elyan’s old jackets he’d long since outgrown from gwen
and the knights, well their gift to merlin is their physical body heat (gwaine in particularly enjoys holding onto merlin like a koala with the excuse of keeping him warm. the only reason arthur doesnt kill him for it is cause of merlins content smile at being warm)
#also ive had this idea in my head of merlin going into lancelots room after his passing and wearing his clothes over his own#cause with lancelot was the last time he ever felt warm#and gwen finds him and they mourn together#i just think there were fanfic opportunities here#like merlin is a dragonlord (lizard) so#hes probably not good at regulating his body temp#the knights r like his heat mat or something#honorable mentions are leon gifting merlin new boots and percy knitting him mittens#elyan (who i still think really likes amphibians and by extention reptiles) probably redesigns merlins room to be a proper habitat for him💀#but like sorry my memory of merlin is rlly rusty! i havent been able to rewatch it ever since netflix took it down#and plus its been years since my hyperfixation ended#tho its recently come back… anyway#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin emrys#lancelot du lac#lancelot#the dorocha#the darkest hour
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losing my shit rn
#god the instruments for these 2 tho#also the amount of voices/accents this man does that both sound different but also rlly good#the announcer voice >>>>>>>>>>#also love how these felt like intro or outro songs to a musical or music heavy show#10/10 so damn good#also there sounded like a small wilhelmina waltz motif at the end of the haunted palace#love that i love motifs especially from waltz#chonny jash
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here to once again complain about ft and just the. existence of irene & being the mother of erza, which subsequently didn't matter at all after that arc ended. im scratching my head still at the prospect of giving erza an on-page mother, especially so late in the story with no build up outside the arc. idk if im making this up but i remember reading that it wasn't intentional at first, but irene ended up looking so much like erza that it was implemented in the story. i think thats dumb and stupid and boring and dumb!! fair warning that i barely acknowledge irene and erza's familial relation, any development is going be heavily canon-divergent & full of my own tweaks in regards to irene and her story..
#ooc.#ummm yeah and also irene sticking around in wendy was weird too its just ??? like why.#did anything even prove to be important about that outside of a “power upgrade” that couldve been accomplished another way#genuine question btw bc i dont even read 100yq and the last arcs of the main story are fuzzy#and this is coming from ME BTW??? I LOOOVE FAMILIAL ANGST & TENSION. opposing sides wouldve been SO delicious. but in the#end she ended up just??? confessing she's always loved her daughter and could never kill her--would rather DIE than do kill her#seemed so weird bc she was sooo cruel before the fight. literally 0 empathy in that noggin. and GOOD FOR HER!#idk that fight wouldve been better imo if it was these two ppl who felt so righteous & strong in their beliefs that they moved past being#related to each other. which erza did i think?? bc that person may have birthed her but she was never her mother or family.#that doesnt even work tho bc the only person who rlly Felt that familial connection was irene. they were literally strangers theres barely#a unique tension that it brings. it was just like any other fight..#erza had already found that family somewhere else. blood ties mean little to erza tbqh! and that holds strong with her past??#why couldnt irene match her freak.#also to have irene be THE creator of dragon slayer AND be a literaly dragon for 400(?) YEARS#AND THAT DOES NOTHING TO ERZA??? HELLOOOO#GIVE THAT BITCH HORNS OR SOMETHING GODDD#SO STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID
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I FEEL WEEIIIIRRDD!!!
#idk what it is even#I’m not as stressed as I was last month but there’s def like#some underlying anxiety there still#I think it’s bcs like#I’ve been productive but not enough?#like I have a list of things I need to do#and I need to be getting more hours#but I HAVE been doing surprisingly good at keeping up w friends and cleaning up the house#and like generally staying on top of things#but ouugggh idk#maybe its just bcs i feel guilty getting to sit around all day at home#and not rlly do anything bcs I got all my chores done yesterday#which is so dumb like#there ARE things I could do#but realistically I’ve been wanting a day to myself for a WHILE now#so like I should just be happy with that#I think part of it tho is that I’m sad it went by SO fast#ouughh whatever I’ll forget why I ever felt guilty abt it when I have to go to work tmrw#I’m hoping the roads clear up soon#jan 25
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and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain
#it is. the amatonormativity#^ guy who was REALLY pissed about the sandra lynn stuff#like yknow that bit in the first ep where brennan is like 'oh this drama is going down' and so like the pcs investigate it#probs bcos they think itll like kick off their new quest#and then it turns out to be like. petty romantic drama.#thats kind of a microcosm of the entire season for me#not to say there werent parts i liked (looks at the picture of baron i printed out and hung on my wall)#(and most of the leviathan stuff was brilliant and ayda is a role model for me)#but its all so tied up in the rest of that shit that i dont rlly wanna rewatch it the way ive rewatched fy 6+ times#likening this to aa3 bcos of the rlly noticeable uptick in romantic content in it compared to the rest of the trilogy#like prior to that all that rlly comes to mind is like. 2-3 and pearl's shipping shenanigans and larry existing#but in aa3 both mia and phoenix have past lovers who play big parts#theres a married couple theres tigre and viola (who sidenote i ENTIRELY missed as romantic my first playthru. i am dense)#there's the business with fawles#like it felt like romance played a large part in every case in aa3#where even when it came up in 1 + 2 it was usually ancillary (2-3 excepted but like. ppl regard that case as a fluke in most regards)#you COULD argue that maggey and adrian also inject some romantic presence in the story#but idk it just doesnt feel as central or prevalent as in aa3#like i saw a post abt adrian and celeste being cousins in the aa anime being not just the sailor moon 'best cousins' thing#but like. reinforcing the themes of familiar devotion as aa2's core. and that was rlly foundational to my understanding of the game#even tho its a change that comes from an adaptation#whereas you Couldnt make that change in aa3 without it changing A Lot of shit#where was i going with this. shrug.#the zelda and tracker relationship drama was entirely manufactured as punishing the pcs for not centering npcs#whose relationship issues were ancillary to the overarching plot they were focused on and which hadnt rlly been brought up beforehand#'why didnt gorgug call zelda :/' do u want zac to pause the kalina mystery to roleplay good relationship communication with the dm??#like its one thing looking at sy as a narrative but looking at it as a ttrpg campaign with limited time and a need to split character focus#i dont see what it did for the story besides give gorgug something to angst abt. didnt rlly feel like there was character growth or an arc#sigh. MANDATORY DISCLAIMER its been at least a year since i watched sy and longer before that since ive played aa3#but at the time my feelings were strong and have only calcified. romance as a theme in something not generally abt romance
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've been in such a sonic mood as of late an 'm unsure why but i am havin a good time i will say
#keebermeeber's rambles#i ended up powerin thru sonic generations an beatin it even tho the controls weren my favourite#an 'm so tempted to 100% shadow generations man#that game is SO MUCH FUN 'S UNREAL#'s not my first sonic game. i think that was one of the classic games on a gamecube collection#an 've played a bit of both adventure games#but shadow generations was the first one i beat.#an MAN was it such a good time shadow feels so good to play#i was nervous goin in because i started w sonic generations an got rlly upset at it#an then opened shadow generations an felt flabbergasted by how good it felt to play#like i never felt annoyed at the game once.#i need to pick the adventure games back up man#shadow ily <3#i think shadow has become one of my favourite sonic characters#my 4 favourites are all equally tied i think.
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big news friend just made me cry by calling me a girl (I'm literally cis)
#the dysmorphia was hitting a bit hard tho ! so this felt rlly good im gonna go give her kisses nka#i feel like a clown when i weat makeup and dresses ykwim that kind of dysmorphia#kal rambles
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still at the con atm but!!!! I saw like. Five of my friends!!!!!! Yippeeeeeeee!!!!!
#crow talks#I hung out w my rhythm game friend and her bf (who I did not know was her bf until she exclaimed it) for a bit#I felt like a third wheel lmao. They were probably thinking of going on a date or smth then some dumb dumb showed up (me)#I feel rlly good. Like. For my first con.#Oh I took a picture w a homura and madoka cosplayer but I didnt ask for permission to post the pic so I'm not posting it (i can redraw it)#I didnt find any d4 bandori or revstar stuff tho :( but I did find LL stuff!!#I got a few keychains I'll post later (yayyyy)#All of the nico and rin stuff were gone :C I only got umi kotori honoka nozomi and eli ones#There was maki and hanayo but I felt bad if I didnt have the other two :(#oh yeah my other three friends I didnt hang out w much but my fifth one was also cosplaying and followed my and my other other friend for a#My rhythm game friend's bf went off to hang w his friends for a bit so yeah#My rhythm game friend bought the first two keychains for me (I felt like crying--) and then my older sibling bought the others#I also played sf 6 and tekken 7 (couldnt play 8) for a bit!!! It was fun. I love kimberly and katarina <3#Might go home soon (and need to work on assessments--) so !!!!#AH WAIT there were miku figures and such!!! They had all of the sekai mikus there it was cool#I'm gonna totally come back next year!! >:D
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posting your artwork publically can be so rewarding and so motivating but most of the time it just results in psychological turmoil inflicted on yourself
#like oh my god girl help#im so sad and over my confidence to do with my art being paper thin and fragile but nothing changes no matter how much i like a piece#i hate the idea that artists only draw for interaction bc i definitely do not do that id have to be stupid to with the stuff i draw#but i also hate the idea that artists shouldn't want interaction on their work? like it's a very human emotion to want your work to be seen?#i just wish people liked my stuff more truly. im aware my style is specific and to a particular taste and ik that my work isn't the like#high flawless standard of most traditional art that gets posted. like ik that and like god i wish i had that skill level but i don't!!#i like what i do tho i just wish it felt like a lot of other people did idk maybe that's vain or something. I don't know!!#i wish i did digital art but i hate working digital lol#ppl don't believe me when i say that digital art is preferred over traditional online but i rlly believe it's true#and if your traditional art does well it's at the level of digital art flawlessness#im simultaneously like im too young to be crazy good like other people online but also im too old to be on the path to getting good. yk#i blame it on a small fandom sometimes but that's unfair bc art within small fandoms still does really well#idk i think im just a flop probably but also i think im insecure. schrodinger's online artist crisis#anyways sorry ignore this im just running my mouth don't pity reblog my shit or anything i don't want that#idk what i want but it's not that lmao#i think i want to be better at art and i want people to like my art. which i have like minimal control over.#being an artist is fun until the turmoil sets in
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im thinkin abt the last 9 episodes of spn rn (finished the show earlier today)
and like. i knew dean winchester was a horrible dad, that has been shown time and time again w jack over seasons 13-15
but it also feels like parody that dean winchester:
1. found out from castiel (who was desperately searching for an alternate plan) that jack is turning himself into a bomb to kill god
2. hid this from sam, eventually told him, acted like sam was unreasonable for being furious (at this being kept from him & at the awful plan itself), and defended the plan
3. got into a fight w sam and yelled that “jack isn’t family!” in front of jack
4. drove jack to go get turned into a bomb
#sam and cas also fail as dads in lots of ways i think are interesting. but jfc @ how awful dean is to this teen#and this felt so over the top that i almost felt speechless. what an awful plan for the final season#tho i thought it was wild as hell that dean flat out said that jack isnt family (to him) while jack is clearly family (to sam and cas)#also i have seen so many ppl reblog fan content the past few days where dean is a good dad to jack. and thats a weird take on the show#its also so fun to say spn plotlines out loud. they rlly just do whatever in this show and are like 'what choice did we have??'#while i question how these writers have jobs. season 15 was like notably bad in an already bad show#spn#p
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theres smth so nice about simply saying hi to people when u make eye contact with them and seeing them smile and say it back!! i have Much anxiety about social encounters but thinking about just being acknowledged by others or acknowledging others and wishing them a good day and them to me eeeeee it just makes me feel fuzzy enough i dont have room in the brain for anxiety lmao
#i felt lukewarm about my day so far#so i made this list and realized how many points were judt#'said hi to this person' 'said hi to rhis person'#and j was like man!! had i not done any of those things i probs wouldve been in a bad mood!#not to mention the people pleaser in me screaming when i Think i made someone sad#also obvs this has gone wrong for me lmao but today!!! it was rlly good#esp bc the ppl i said hi to are just ppl who work at my college or who go there#like i know of them and they know of me so we will acknowledge that#at least to give each other smth to smile about :)#im gonna finish my days events list tho the day usnt pver yet but obvs the beginning half#gata
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“Hi So you’re you? The villain?” He sits down across from me, stimming hard.
I sigh. “Yep, that’s me…”
“Neat It’s kinda like a comic book isn’t it? You seem like the kinda villain I’d like Although I don’t know what you do what do you do?”
I shrug. “A bit of this… some of that… Fuck capitalism, y’know?”
“Fun! Why aren’t you an activist then instead of a villain?”
“Activism doesn’t get anywhere…” I exhale, reaching my hands across the concrete floor until I’m sitting folded over myself.
He swings back and forth, tapping my hands with his each time he swings forward.
Holy wow that’s satisfying.
“You don’t mind that right?”
I stretch, pressing my torso against the cold concrete and my folded legs. “It’s excellent.”
He grins. “Yay! I like it too I’m super hyper right now though sorry I had a bunch of monster for the past way too long and I ran out of adderall like a month ago and oh wow I should get more but the pharmacy’s so far but it’s near the supermarket which has so much good stuff and do you go to that store?”
“Which one?”
“That grocery store with the things… the… I dunno what it’s called but it’s really nice! They have a ton of comics there Do you like comics?”
“Depends. Which ones?”
“There’s this one… it’s really cool it’s fantasy and it follows the sidekicks who are actually better heroes than the so-called ‘superheroes’ and do you want me to keep talking about it or do you want me to shut up? I don’t think I can shut up right now though I’m really hyper”
“Can you tell me more? That actually seems like a really cool show…”
His face lights up.
We have a wonderful time. He shares my interest in proper representation in fiction, rainbow shrimp, pointillism… I haven’t had a conversation that good in ages.
-
Once I’m a bit more… in control, it occurs to me to apologize.
“I’m sorry, by the way.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry you have to deal with me. I know why she put me in there… she wanted to punish you with me.”
“Hey,” They touch my cheek, guiding me to look up. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not annoyed with you- I think I need to start watching that show, to be honest.” I crack a smile, despite myself. “And being energetic doesn’t make you a problem. It’s how you are, and that’s beautiful.”
The glint in their glossy eyes tells me they believe it.
But I just… I don’t get it.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Aren’t you the villain? You’re not supposed to be so…” extraordinary incredible loving radiant “…kind.”
They jolt. “What?”
“You’re the first person to say that… that who I am is beautiful.” I pause, gazing into their deep cerulean eyes. “They all said you were heartless, but… you’re kind and wonderful and you listen.”
They blush.
“Well… maybe people aren’t always what they tell you.”
You have been given a month by the elders to devise a punishment for an infamous villain. You return with your ADHD roommate, Aaron, whom has been without Adderall for the last month, TikTok for the past week, and has consumed only Monster Energy for 2 days. You say, “He’s your problem now.”
#writers#prompt response#as someone with adhd I felt the need to write this bc when I’m hyper it’s always either annoying or silly#and it makes me feel rlly insecure and it’s SO UNCOMFORTABLE trying to contain that much energy#so I just wanted to project a little bit bc I’m good at masking but I wish I didn’t need to#this is kinda badly written tho I basically just wrote all this in a frenzy and didn’t edit it much#adhd#neurodivergence#trans#enby#yes our ‘villain’ is enby#my writing
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