#just a few more hours! please! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

floral-hex · 9 months ago

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Two hours. I got two hours of sleep. I’m so frustrated with myself.

Went to the ER. Everyone was very nice. They gave me an IV bag of fluids (I was dehydrated! Sad cactus!) and a little ativan (teeny dose), which was nice at the time! Just a little amount, but the (mostly) quiet room, fluids, and meds managed to relax me a lot. Could have fallen asleep if the bed was actually comfortable. Then they packed me up, gave me another little Ativan to take home for tonight, and said they’d contact my primary. Cool cool. Got some much needed food on the way home, then took the pill and got comfy. Again, smallest dosage they make, so no feeling too good. Managed to muscle past my anxiety to fall asleep, and… 2 hours. Woke up. Tried to go back to sleep. Too frustrated and anxious and I feel like crap. What should I do? Just eat a whole gummy and hope that knocks me out? For me, that feels like playing roulette. Could work, yeah. Could make me sleepy and pliable. Could also backfire and make me feel sick and extra anxious for another 5 or 6 hours. What do I do? Roll back up to the ER? “Hewwo, I woke up and I need more benzos 👉👈🥺” haha funny, but I’ve seriously been thinking about it 😑

God, I’m miserable. Been sitting outside on the porch for a bit. Not quite an hour. Needed to get out of the apartment, but tbh, nearly 4am outside isn’t doing much for me. I just feel alone. It wouldn’t help with sleeping, per se, but just someone, I dunno, hugging or holding me for a few minutes would honestly save me a little. What a mess. Oh yeah, and apparently my kidneys are going 👎👎👎 down. Bad meat. Not great test results. Not what I’m focusing on tonight. I’m a mess. Anyway, this was my update. Sorry for all the walls of text. Suppose this is mainly for me to look back on in the future, but can’t pretend it’s not at least a little validating to put this all out into the world and knowing that maybe one or two people read this and I didn’t suffer completely without recognition. Yeah…

#this is a lot of text #not really a casual read #ok ok… I can’t sit outside forever #gonna go back inside and I dunno make a hot chocolatey drink. grab some snacks #TRY to feel good even though I don’t #YES will probably get a little high #hoping that the combo of sugar. salt. and thc will give me the sleepy tools to just pass out for awhile #just a few more hours! please!#omg I was so pissed when I woke up and thought I’d slept for awhile but realized I hadn’t #’ what do you mean the last text I sent was only two hours ago? ‘#seriously. I thought I fell asleep around 11 pm but it was closer to 1am.#stupid sexy ativan. messing with my sense of time #it really wasn’t that big of a dose! I was basically a little buzzed for an hour or so each time #but the doctor was nice and straightforward with me. I just dunno tho. I’m a big guy with a history of anxiety. .5mg is weaksauce #god I’m getting anxious just sitting here thinking about trying to sleep again #it’s feeding on itself. I’m trying to rationalize this but it’s just this feedback loop.#is this my life now? I’m outside. I feel so alone. I feel like I could die any moment. in a sword of Damocles way. it’s there and waiting.#ok sitting outside isn’t helping #after 4am and yes I see cars driving by. I hear the occasional siren. but I still feel alone in the world #please tell me life goes on? please tell me we’re not really at the end here.#I always feel like I’m staring at our final days. that we’re all barely here. fucking ghost planet. waiting to die.#there’s war and hate and everything is expensive and I can’t.. I’m not a part of this world. I’m too poor and sickly and so it all seems…#like we’re on our last leg. like the final days of a fire sale. this body feels fit for the grave. this world is the grave.#I’m scared #ok like I said sitting out here isn’t helping. Ian. please stop.#yes. yes. ok. snacks and drinks and distracting tv. let’s try this again.#sorry this is a lot #I spent the last 20 minutes writing these tags and getting progressively more anxious 😬#you can ignore this #text

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 26 days ago

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Learning to celebrate the little wins!

#fersona #While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day #I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!

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heartorbit · 4 months ago

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i want to know everything that makes you happy! 💫🪐🎇

#the caption is aioi lyrics but posting the same thing with the same caption on 3 different socmed is embarasisng. saki save me #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #proseka #saki tenma #leo/need #i have more chibis Soon just theyre for halloween so u have to wait a few days. sniles so wide #AIOI IS SUCH A GOOD SONG AND NOBODY FUCKING TALKS ABOUT IT IDGAF. ITS SO GOOD. START CRYING WITH ME #like obviously the mv is gorgeous and stunning andni love the event and cards but im talking sbout the song. Its so good #So is purpose and nobody talks about it either wtf guys HAPPY PURPOSE TUESDAY!!!!!!#pjsk radio in 6 hours who else is about to #explode MEEE MEEEE I AMMMMM machico save me #nene focus ohantom of Theopera PLEASE PLEAS EPLEASEPLEASE HOW MUST I MANIFEST.#i always mean to draw the songs i want wxs to cover ever since i only did 2 of them Half a fucking year ago but i keep forgetting #and then other groups cover the songs and im like Wlel i cant draw it now .. (i can) (i will still draw emukasa cat food)#mmjs cover is SO GOOD i love mmj all of their covers r so good. wasnt crazy abt their early game ones but All of them for the last 2 years #have been Bonkers. amen. minoshizu duet come back to us please god.#soo glad wxs got reincarnation apple and got all the parts i envisioned for them EMU IMLOVE YOUUUU #ok i gotta go i need to hot glue more fabric onto my cosplay boots before work tomorrow. love and peaches

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medicalunprofessional · 10 months ago

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never change, man !

#phantom of the paradise #potp #swan potp #nightmaretheater #65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp #Look into my beautiful mind boy #Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw #but i had to push a specific look for this piece #hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look #Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan #I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That #as awful as he is he desperately needed help #it might seem like vanity on the surface #but i think its… more than that #long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry #It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again #i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems #he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away #anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal #sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick #i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad #*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha #sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please #adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse #to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like #the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this #sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol

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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago

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just wanted to make a color ref for Brain Therapist Magneto from 309 but i needed lights too for some reason

bonus The Flats Only Version

#xmen #erik lehnsherr #magneto #xmen comics #snap sketches #why did half of my beginning tags just get neutralized. tf. now i have to retype them and this tag'll make no sense #anyway 'have you done literally anything but think about 309 since you read it' no . apparently vJARLKAJKL #BUT YEAH I JUST WANTED A COLOR REF IF IM GONNA DRAW THIS LOOK MORE OR WHATEVER #i dont know if i like the yellow dress shirt + pink tie combo ... that's inspo'd from his new mutants headmaster suit + tie..#why does he have to wear a suit under the coat huh .. the thing is i have no idea if he's supposed to be wearing a dr's coat or a trench #i mean he briefly wears his magneto suit when scolding charles so maybe it is a doctor's coat....#doctor makes the most sense to me considering the context so thats why i went all white but... now im not so sure ...#UGH stupid beautiful comic had to be in monochrome. or limited colors whatever #anyway i did start some doodles cause i wanted to post a few 309 doodles but. hm.#i think i might make a separate post for it ... it may be a lil inapropro !!!!#i wanted a color ref in the first place because i was thinking about making a 309 comic but like #now that i think of it if i do that i might jsut do the blue/black thing they did in the actual comic..#idk the thing im doodling now i might do in full color. just for fun #tbh maybe i wont do that comic after i doodle this.. no im lying i still will i still have visions i wanna put in front of my eyes #i can only fall asleep thinking about it so much i need it tangible #if i do draw it i prob just wont post it or ill just share it with select friends. aka like. one vjAELKVJEAKJ #but that's like months from now lbr ok ill still share crumbs with you all !!!!! gimme like. five hours vJALKJAKL #ok bye !!!!!!!!! please enjoy therapist magneto in the meantime #you will not get better as an individual you will get worse

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sp3akfromtheart · 3 months ago

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on this episode of torchwood, everyone takes a nap. no seriously, give them a break!

close ups :D!!!

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themyscirah · 10 months ago

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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.

Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now

Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.

Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!

Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.

#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually #also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things #doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously #supposed to believe shes wrong #anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr #anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope #also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and #any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther #actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other #stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss #anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller #and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less #informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller #and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours #or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah #interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez #and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also #like british colonization a lil bit #but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight #vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves #whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell #i got off topic here #blah #swishy rant #also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should #always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag #sui sq

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danwhobrowses · 29 days ago

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Eight Hours? EIGHT HOURS!?

Every time I think I'm safe for the week Critical Role finds a new way to knock me through a loop XD

The State of the Role today revealed that Ep. 121 is to be the finale of Campaign 3, having a record-breaking 8.5 hours runtime - effectively an entire work day! I suppose if you're gonna break a record the finale is the best place to do it, but seriously that is so much and so much can happen in it! I am curious why they opted against splitting at least the live showing into two parts, perhaps running one half on Thursday night and another on Friday just to give a breather then the whole thing in the VOD, but perhaps there just isn't as neat a cut between them to be feasible.

It's a wonder what can occupy such time though - and no, stop it, don't think that, I won't entertain it after everything they've fought through - I assume a lot of it could be chatting with the gods (potentially with an array of guest voices and maybe a friendly ghost aeormation playing as mediator), since there's a lot of gods and they want to convince all of them of the Option C plan, with potential ground rules and addendums put forward in the negotiation. There may be some bits with VM and M9 too since the god stuff does directly affect some of their characters, and then a final wrap up for the Hells themselves - even if it's just having a wild ass party and waking up to a new dawn. It's likely going to occupy dominate my thoughts for most of the week, and then the 3 hours I can possibly watch on stream while working, but still that is a lot.

I'm still not ready for it to be over, and there are still things I want to come out of the campaign that while are definitely up to the cast would enrichen the experience for me personally, but now we know when exactly the end is coming, and it's going to be a big one.

#critical role #cr spoilers #c3 spoilers #campaign 3 #cr3 #bells hells #cr speculation #c3 finale #I mean I expected them to announce the finale here but I was thinking it'd be a few episodes #instead we get 'next one's the last and it's MASSIVE'#I also don't believe in 'that' because killing Imogen is releasing Predathos - which established last ep is something they don't want #they already finished the fight - they get to live; they deserve to live! No more fighting!#diplomatic relations need to be established between Exandria and Ruidus too #surprises me it was filmed in January because it did feel in December like they had already wrapped up #EXU Divergence immediately after feels odd too - almost connected since they do the Campaign Wrap-Up after #brain whirring heart thumping spine tingling and stations panicked #they love torturing us with their powers of hindsight don't they?#If you know me you know what I want and I'm not talking about the Chetney/Orym paternity test #Just. You know! Please?#eight hours is truly herculean and despite all the criticisms of c3 I'd still wanna hug them all for their efforts

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potionpeddlerpatchy · 11 months ago

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"Lots of fun was had at last night's Hero Gala, but no one seemed to have more fun than the hero Cellophane and his partner, pictured here, as they danced circles around everyone else. More about the event and the money raised for charity at 11"

Huge thank you to @fittsythesnail who not only saw the idea in my head, but improved upon it!! As we all know, I headcannon Sero is someone who loves to pull his partner into a dance, so why wouldn't he show that affection at such an event!?

It's gorgeous, it's stunning, it's everything I wanted and more! If you haven't already run to Fitsy's page, you better be doing do now, cause look at the material!! 💛

#please excuse me as i stare at this for a few more hours #its just so perfect #and wonderful!!#i am so in love!! and it looks like he is too 🥺🥺#🔮.the peddler's commissions #🔮.fitsythesnail #🔮.the peddler loves sero #🔮.the peddler's self-ships

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ghostlycoyote0 · 1 year ago

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#tbh this is less a poll and more just the way I decided to point out the similarity #and please no slay the princess spoilers! I’m only a couple of hours in and I’ve only gotten a few vessels #borderlands #gl&t #slay the princess

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leclercskiesahead · 2 years ago

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Charles vs Carlos doing the dartboard filter game