#i really want that sandwich now
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#art#hermitblr#digital art#trafficblr#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#bdubs#bdoubleo#bdubs fanart#bdouble100 fanart#he was hungry ok???#the one comment is doc btw#also dont look at his hands#the hands are like little claws i did not want to fix them#i really want that sandwich now#mmm sandwich#hermitcraft season 10
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☀️ 🏖 🍧
Summer Holidays! Going around, visiting new places and taking lots of photos! (maybe eating some ice cream too...)
Here's my entry for the @aldemuappreciationhub event. Since it's summer, I drew something inspired by this season ^_^
#wren draws stuff#artist on tumblr#art#fanart#saint seiya#saint seiya fanart#knights of the zodiac#los caballeros del zodiaco#les chevaliers du zodiaque#i cavalieri dello zodiaco#aries mu#taurus aldebaran#appendix kiki#aldemu#AldemuAugustfun2024#visually it's the first time I do something like this. I mean. The bunch of photos in the bg effect... not the ship art lmao#bc every time I see people doing this fake messy scrapbook (?) effect I'm like YOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! SO TRUE BESTIEEE!!!!!!#glad I did it too lol I'd like to try stuff like this a bit more bc It's really fun and the result is really cute n silly 💖✨#proud to say now on the internet there's#1) a picture of Mu eating a sandwich and 2) Aldebaran getting his french fries stolen by a seagull and those two images are 100% my fault#once again I could have done something much less complex but WHO CARES. WHAT's ThE FuN in THaT?!#be the cringe you want to see in the world. DRAW THE SILLY SHIPS! DO IT NOW!
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Morning, love
#Stede Bonnet#Edward Teach#blackbonnet#ofmd#ofmd art#our flag means death#I just want them to be happy and cuddly and have lazy mornings in their dressing gowns and with marmalade sandwiches#o0o draws#the colour palette really fought me here but I think it turned out okay#also I need to do more art with interior backgrounds because I need to learn to do it properly#so now as a treat I'll do like 10 arts within my comfort zone of single-colour splash background
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I started in DC by reading fanfics, but as I began to read actual comics, I started to be unable to read the actual fanfic that got me into it in the first place because it's so out of character.
But there are still some stories that I love to read because I love the found family trope so much, even if it isn't really accurate to the source material.
As a comics purist (sometimes), are there tropes that you like enough that you'll still enjoy a fic even if it's not accurate to canon?
oh my god this is SUCH a fun question. bc while i started with the comics, there were certain characters and/or character dynamics where i was exposed to the fanon before the canon (just bc it's hard to read everything when you start out just to read some fanfic) and so i've definitely experienced the fanon to canon transition. (*especially* with Jason Todd. i had only read 80s/90s stuff where he was already dead or the New-52 bc that was on-going when i got into comics and man. the fanon misunderstandings i had about him before i got frustrated and sat down to read all his pre-Flashpoint stuff were absolutely bonkers.) and aside from that, whilst i tend to prefer canon over fanon, i'm not past giving fanon its flowers for occasionally having really interesting insights. occasionally. so some of my fanon "guilty pleasure" tropes would probably be
Morally Grey Tim Drake - this is one where if you try to back it up with canon, i *will* get salty about it. of everyone in the Batfam aside from maybe Bruce and Cass, Tim has the *most* black and white morals. often his internal conflicts are routed in such an inability to compromise his moral views and it can cause him to clash with other characters. he's *very* stiff and rigid in his beliefs and is *rare* to compromise in even the smallest ways. i mean, DC has repeatedly used Tim Drake of Tomorrow/Savior/Gun Batman!Tim for a reason. it's to demonstrate that of everyone, Tim *cannot* have his morals compromised. there's no grey area for him. he's zero or a hundred, so if he tips over the edge of "too far" he tips *all the way*, and doing so is one of his worst fears, how he could go "too far" if he let himself. a couple panels out of context from Red Robin (2009) (which was a grief spiral for Tim to begin with) don't change that. now that said. if it's done *right*, i sort of love Tim being morally grey in fanfic. it takes a specific flavor for me, and it's incredibly important to include that mental spiral along with it, of him struggling to justify it. i don't have any interest in "Tim Drake is loosy goosy with Bruce's morals and has the highest kill count and no one knows teehee" bc it doesn't play with the interesting parts of making Tim morally grey, which are fracturing his psyche. but all in all, i think it's fun to put Tim in a morally grey area and i will read it in fanfic and i enjoy writing it a lot
Joker Junior!Tim Drake - i've not written it on this account (yet) but on my main ao3 account one of my biggest fics surrounds this concept. this is one of those "well *technically* it's canon but only in a specific very divorced from the comics universe and would not work at all in the main timeline" so, i categorize it as fanon in that 95% of fics exploring the concept are not doing so within the Batman Beyond universe, but the main timeline. i just love it. I'll take any excuse to whump Tim, but this concept is so fun. psychologically breaking Tim will always be my favorite pastime. there are so many ways to explore the long-term effects this could have on him, how it could affect the Batfam. i'm not a fan of it being used as a "gotcha" to Jason or Babs' trauma with the Joker to paint Tim as the Ultimate Victim, but it is fun to see how their relationships would be affected by being mutual victims of him. (i have a vague JayTim idea where TIm fully retires from being Robin after being Joker Junior and killing the Joker, making Steph Robin for most of his typical Robin era and Jason still tracks him down out of curiosity bc he wants to know what happened and all. very underbaked but i've got thoughts.)
Renegade/Apprentice of Slade!Dick Grayson - this is another one where yes, this happened *sort of* in canon, but i highly doubt most people writing Renegate!Dick have read or are actually pulling from Nightwing: Renegade. it's just an exploration fo the concept fo Dick being Slade's apprentice and i will always eat it up in any capacity. whether Dick grows up with Slade from a young age, or chooses Slade for whatever reason later in life. it's not anything that works in canon bc it compromises Dick morally (similar to the above with Tim) and therefore will always come across incredibly fanon in most fics. but i can't say i don't enjoy it. it's fun to make Dick a little morally fucked up and see what you can make him under Slade's tutelage.
Jason & Damian Meeting in the League -there's no world where i believe this could work in the canon comics. (maybe in the Young Justice cartoon i suppose, but even then i think it's iffy) i would go as far to say it's wildly unrealistic. i don't see a world where Ra's would let Jason anywhere *near* Damian, bc Jason was Talia's pet project that he didn't approve of. that all said, there's something very interesting about how they *could've* met and them potentially bonding during that timeframe. them being somewhat brotherly during this time because Jason sees Bruce in Damian and sort of latches onto the kid and Damian is full of wonder hearing real stories about Batman and Robin, then that getting violently ripped away by Jason leaving the League is fun to me. it's fun how that could affect them within the Batfam and all. it's super fanon to me, but i do not care. i will eat it up
Bad Dad Clark Kent/Good Dad Lex Luthor - i will admit as a late, i've been less and less kind to this particular fanon bc of everything i've argued with people about, *this* one seems the most pervasive as misunderstood fanon. i don't mind when fanon exists, my gripe is when ppl try to claim it's canon. and the *arguments* i've had over this with people who can never seem to cite an actual comic are... frustrating. but that said, i think there is something fun to this strictly in fanon. the duality of who you expect to accept Kon and who you expect to hurt him being flipped is just sort of fun for the occasional guilty pleasure fic. it can make Kon's internal conflict a bit more interesting. the same goes for the Jon favoritism from Clark, it's not a canon thing (and i rlly wish ppl understood how complicated the timeline of Kon and Jon is and any distance from Clark toward Kon isn't malice, it's that Kon is from a timeline that Clark does not remember in the current canon so Clark just straight up doesn't know the poor kid.) but it's sort of fun to give Kon that complex of being overlooked and forgotten sometimes. making Kon just a *bit* more Luthor than Kent will *always* appeal to me in fanfic, especially if he *knows* it's wrong but craves approval from anyone who will give it.
Good Dad Bruce Wayne - i'll die on the hill Bruce is canonically a shitty father. maybe not to the extreme some people write him as, but he's not great at it. that said, i enjoy it in fanfiction. sometimes, i just want silly fluff or hurt/comfort where Bruce finally gets it right and manages to comfort whatever Batkid is in the fic. one of my favorite fics of all time is hinged on Bruce being a good dad, so i think it's just fun to explore how good the relationships *could* be, if Bruce was slightly less of an asshole. i usually prefer him as an asshole, but there are times i want low stakes nonsense.
Gotham Rogues Having Soft Spots for Robin(s) - just about every Rogue in Gotham has done something absolutely irredeemable, and most of them don't like or care about anyone in the Batfamily. but if there's a fic where one of the Robins inexplicably is sort of close with a Rogue and they have a cute silly relationship out of it? I'll eat it up i fear. Steph and the Riddler are besties? I'll believe it. Tim and Scarecrow get along pretty well? give me ten of these. Rogues protecting Robins just hits a spot. the unexpected nature of the relationship, as well as the fact they see each other regularly, can make a lot of good fodder.
#necrotic answerings#canon vs fanon#batfanon#batfamily#I was *going* to include “Janet and Jack Drake are bad parents”#then realized I don't really like that fanon anymore.#but I used to go *hard* for it even knowing it wasn't canon. it was all projection but still#nowadays I think the tragedy of Tim losing his parents the way he did is *far* worse if they loved him and were good to him.#I'm so serious about the Kon thing i've had *nasty* arguments where ppl got so rude to me telling me to “Google it”#like listen I get it. kon's canon backstory is currently difficult to understand#the timeline of the superboy mantle is a little confusing and most people have not read young justice (2019)#so for fanon it's far easier to simplify it as “clark just kinda sucks to kon” and i enjoy that#but the canon is also fun. it's fun when you consider how fucked up it is most people don't remember kon#and the timeline he remembers doesn't exist anymore.#also technically since they never killed off new-52!superboy on page there could be two superboys/kon-els running around rn. who knows.#i like to believe there is bc it's funny.#i have wanted to write a new-52!konkon/tim/kon sandwich#with the “is it selfcest or not” question#bc new-52!kon wasn't a clone of clark and lex.#so like. he's arguably a different character just sharing the name kon-el for some reason#also on the nightwing: renegade thing i know *damn* well most fanon-only fans haven't read it (no shade in that)#bc the fanon crowd despises devin grayson and she wrote it.#one day i'll write a meta about fandom treatment of devin grayson trust me.#this question was SO fun#i feel like i should have more answers?#if you'd asked me like six months ago this list would be three times as long#but the more i exist in this fandom somehow the saltier i get idk what's happening#so now i'm more and more attached to canon#but i will never begrudge someone for liking fanon#like i said my issue with it is the confusion of what is canon
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HAPPY 17TH ANNIVERSARY TO THE SHOW THAT CHANGED MY LIFE!! 🎉🥳🎂
So maybe I'm a bit late to the party.. but that's not important 🤫🫶
#wordgirl#wordgirl fanart#pastrami sandwiches#art#digital art#becky botsford#captain huggyface#bob wordgirl#wordgirl pbs#pbs kids#EUGHH JESUS#fanart#IM COVERED IN BATTLE SCARS AND MY CLOTHES ARE RIPPED ALL OVER#HEY BABE IT TOOK ME SIXTEEN HOURS BUT YOUR WORDGIRL ANNIVERSARY FANART IS DONE#PASSES OUT ONTO FLOOR#sorry guys I'm a bit tired FR THOUGH i love this show so much and it's brought me so much joy in the past..?#four months?? has it really only been that long?#geez#I don't know if yall can tell#but this show means a lot to me#i really have had a genuinely awesome time being here in this fandom even if I've only been here for a little while#SDJH#SORRY IM MAKING THIS A LOT MORE SENTIMENTAL THAN IT HAS TO BE RN#but seriously this kids show is awesome you guys are awesome and I'm so happy to be here#ive been really wanting to say that for a while now#this should've only taken me like three days but because of school it took like five ����#speaking of school I HAVE A TEST TO STUDY FOR OOOH GOD#HURRIEDLY RETREATS BACK INTO THE SHADOWS#BYE GUYS LOVE YALL!!#💖‼️
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Back on my grind, gonna have to re read fever frost and death puzzles to make some for them too HAHA (I hope my last ref is .. logical. There's no laying down spritws...
THE MEMES RETURN!! The giant cracker absolutely killed me xD Once again I absolutely adore these lmao (。ノω\。) your ability to find these posts impresses me
The second one. :( man we got all deep for a second. But also thank god for bread ( ╹▽╹ )! I love how detailed these can be LMAO keep up the great work (✿ ♡‿♡) !!!!
And yknow what. For these I will give you an update on chapter 10 of Impermanent Attachment ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Two POVs will be in chapter 10: Shuichi and Kokichi. 13k words in and I've just finished Shuichi's perspective, which means I am effectively HALF WAY done with the chapter (。•̀ᴗ-)✧!! It's only taken me so long because i kind of...animated a segment of it to a song...instead of. yknow. writing. BUT i'm making great progress ;D so it should come soon! Eventually!!!! Maybe even within the week if we get super lucky!!
#phantommm asks#impermanent attachment#I had to put myself in a pretty dark mental space to write Shuichi#like boy! wow! you're fucked up!#he literally spends his entire segment freaking out over everything and feelimg guilty#god i really want a sandwich now#btw FF and M5DP versions of these would be GREAT#i look forward to it should you get around to it o7
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pmdd has you crying in bed like "and the fact that I cry for like three days every month is another reason why no one will ever love me!!!"
patently ridiculous illness
#pmdd#I had a serious problem with emotional regulation when I was a child#probably because of poorly understood neurodivergence#but I cried about EVERYTHING all the time forever#I felt like literally anything that happened was the worst thing in the entire world#I was a small nervous dog all the time#and I was always convinced that there was this nebulous Awful Consequence that would happen if I wasn't perfect#so like I would lose at a game? cry. favorite movie wasn't on? cry. made a mistake on a test? cry. rules of a game changed? cry. and so on#I wanted to be a good child SO badly#the only time I was ever sent to the principal ever was because I was crying too much and it was disrupting my kindergarten class#and you can... probably guess how I reacted to that#anyway whenever I get these PMDD crying jags now it reminds me of this time when I was little#I came home SOBBING#and my parents were like oh no honey what happened#and I said I was crying because the kids were making fun of me for crying too much :')#it's that same circular logic#sobbing because I have the disease that makes you hate yourself and sob#and then hating myself more because of the sobbing#it's genuinely so fucking dumb#and there is that part of me that's like 'girl just go make a sandwich and calm down'#but you can't really rationalize yourself out of it huh
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...thinking of maybe... of maybe drawing some more scav yuri, of varying levels of cute or unhinged (or both👀?), for the love month, for my mental health or whatever, so uh, is there any particular pairing or such that anyone would wanna see? I need excuses lol
#ignore the fact that ive got like. ten other wips going rn. having another priority change lmao#not feeling great about *gestures vaguely*. sooooo. yuri time mayhaps??#got a few doodles and ideas firing off rn. but idk. thought id offer in case anyone else wants smth. like im going to the yuri store lol#also like. idk why. but in half the doodles i have of fulc she just looks smitten with whtever weird shit the others are doing#which begs the question. who is more of a freak? the casual freaks themselves. or the one thats really really into the freakage?#love my weird gal. nightmares of being eaten alive turning into daydreams or smth. lmao#'' *panicking* omg. they might eat me one day!?!'' < ''ohhh my goddd. they might eat me one day *twirls hair*''#im a 'fulcrum is secretly a freak' truther or smth. like yeah. misfire is the weirdest. but fulc going along with it. says smth perhaps#sorry lol. been thinking a little too hard about women and like. blood and stuff. im very normal about both in art👍#every now and then while looking thru comic pages for reference pics. i find myself wondering how i got here lmao#looking back and forth from a pic of like. krok to a doodle of fem!krok and going. hmmm. what happened here?#scavengers#idw scavengers#...do i tag them all... hmmm#fuck it#krok#spinister#misfire#crankcase#fulcrum#grimlock#<- thinking of drawing her. ough. big scary lady <333#fulgrimfire is like. haunting me in particular lately. dino sandwich yay#humanformers
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Return of the king. Featuring a very basic chicken sandwich.
#I feel great‚ right now#much less gloomy ~#so I may post occasionally!!#going to slowly ease myself back into things#and thank you so much to everyone who sent me supportive asks‚ left kind comments‚ or checked in on me through DMs#I have seen and read every single kind message and you guys have made me feel so much better#my mind has been going a bit back and forth‚ but I think I'm mostly going to orient these things as a positive#for one--the person who kept stealing my AU ideas is one of the people who cut me off‚ so I no longer have to worry about that#for another--my true friends have stuck around‚ and I grew closer to everyone‚ too#I know I'm a bottler‚ and get really scared about sharing how I feel‚ but you all have been so‚ so amazing#and I want to say thank you‚ from the bottom of my heart#very deep tags to put on a Plushcliff post‚ but I feel safest talking in here asdfghjkl#he says thank you‚ too‚ btw--he's giving you all chicken sandwiches‚ if you want them#alright ... I'll be around#I love you guys /p--I want to try and interact more with ship stuff‚ but I might be slow with it#but know your patience is appreciated /gen#r: remind my heart to beat 💢#LCB Plushcliff#scattered pages
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Hate, love, guilt, mothers. Aren't they all synonyms?
You can find part one of this au here, and two here. Also a quick explanation on who's Gloria here. Mild nsfw mention at the end. Like, super mild.
The grounds of the Goldenloin mansion are always breathtaking, it doesn't matter how many times Ballister's been here as a guest, as an intruder, as a knight, as a lover. The gardens are fantastic, and the structure makes him feel so, so tiny.
Standing here, looking at the dining table made for dozens and dozens of people, Ballister can't help but feel out of place. The maid that guided them here is mimicking their pose, right next to them, and Ballister signals to Ambrosius, tugging on his sleeve. There's no need for her to be here, too. She should be free to leave.
Ambrosius gets the memo and dismisses the poor girl, who leaves quietly and quickly. Ballister's skin itches.
In front of them rests a wonderful feast, colorful and appealing, even if some plates are covered with golden silverware, to protect the food from loosing it's flavor, or whatever. He can't help but wonder how many street kids are hungry right now — can't help but remember what it's like, to be alone and lost and begging for a crumb of bread, a sip of water, a simple plate of food and be denied and-
The echo of someone's steps brings him back to the present, and he stares at the woman as she walks in. Captain Gloria limps as she arrives, her golden hair down in a braid that reaches her lower back. She gleams at them, despite the clear pain that every step delivers to her system. Her eyes aren't quite focused.
Ambrosius suddenly goes still, fixing his posture.
The two of them just accept the silence, live in it, for the next couple of seconds. Gloria finally gets to the table and sits down slowly, hissing when she finally does so, reeking of alcohol and a splendid perfume. She's at the head of the chairs, and Ambrosius rounds up the table to sit right next to her. Ballister tries to follow him.
“Don't” orders the woman, her hand suddenly reaching out to grip Ballister's wrist. She tugs on him, making take a seat, too, at her left. Ambrosius stares at him with a questioning look, and he stares back with an even more questioning look. It's his mom that's acting weird, he should know what's going on.
They don't have to figure it out, though, because she explains it soon enough.
“You are not here as Ambrosius's guest, today. You're a suitor. Act accordingly or get out”
Her voice, cold and demanding, takes both of the boys by surprise. Gloria's and Ballister's relationship has never been a specially warm one, but all in all, he's always seen her as a stressed out woman who doesn't really care about anything but her work and her son. Everytime they've been together she's drunk, hurt, on duty, or in a weird combination of those options. She's never been openly hostile or mean to him, so he's left in unexplored grounds when her blue eyes are suddenly fixed on his face, pinning him to his seat and making his head spin with with dread and doubts.
“Mom, there's no need to-”
Ambrosius tries, he really tries, to reason with her. Gloria, who's whole body moves weirdly and limply, suddenly hits the table with her fist closed, and Ambrosius straightens up in his seat, body reacting before his mind does so, instincts ingrained on him urging him to obey and comply to orders, even the unspoken ones.
Ballister knows the look on Gloria's eyes — he's seen it before, only, not on her face — she's not only intoxicated, not merely wounded. She's full of regret, of fury, of pure and unfiltered anger. As soon as that knowledge hits him, he's filled with a strange sense of security, of comfort. She's mad and she's irrational, but he knows the reason of those feelings. She's merely a mother defending her child, a knight defending her loved ones.
Ballister is trying to do the same, and it's refreshing to see his own feelings of confusion and hatred mirrored into Gloria's face. He knows what her anger means, because his blood burns with the same heat, the same intensity.
“I'm sorry, Captain Gloria” he says, slowly and clearly. The nerves he felt all the way here disappear, leaving only his determination, his devotion. Gloria isn't against him. She's against anything that might hurt jer son, and that's a feeling Ballister not only understands, but shares, “It was awfully inadequate of me to act that way. I beg your forgiveness”
She smiles, woobly and unsteadily, at him. She's pleased with his words, clearly. He tries to remember the hours and hours of ranting that Ambrosius blessed his ears with every so often, complaining about stupid protocol lessons that his mother made him take.
“Very well” she nods at him, and he imitates the gesture. He quickly nods at Ambrosius, too, to try and reassure him. This will be okay. It has to.
Ambrosius's shoulders relax just the slightest bit at that, but he smiles, and talks again,
“I'm incredibly hungry, Mum. Why don't we eat before we discuss this, yeah?”
It's always surprising to Ballister, really, how adaptable Ambrosius is. One minute, he's a big dramatic performer for the Queen. The next, he's merely a child with a pleading voice, asking— no, begging, for some peaceful seconds with his mom.
“Yes, the food. Let's eat and talk business, shall we? That's not really an appropriate thing to do, I suppose, but I can make an exception, seeing as how you've had the guts to ask for my son's hand in marriage, cadet”
She claps, and servants lift the coverings. Some of their faces are recognizable to Ballister. Did they live in the same orphanage? Were they friends, and his mind has forgotten?
This is whst he hates about the Goldenloin mansion. This is what he hates about every single noble event ever. He simply resings himself to his fate, a rejected freak to the nobles and a traitor to the commoners. He tries to keep his eyes on the table, tries not to to think about how some of the people working for Ambrosius, serving him, probably have never even tried the kind of feast he's about to have.
Ballister's never been a religious person, but he prays for forgiveness, even if it's merely for a second. He prays for forgiveness, even if it's undeserved.
The steak in front of him suddenly loses its appeal. The nerves are back, just like that. He hates himself for that, for being so brave a second and then a complete coward in the other.
They simply eat, for some moments. Gloria sips her glass of red wine every so often, and both of the boys chew methodically on their steaks. Food is fuel, Ballister tries to remind himself, tasting guilt and shame in every bite, feeling as if he's chewing his own heart; food is fuel, and he needs fuel for this conversation.
That doesn't make the bitterness of the whole situation go away.
“You said you have a plan” accuses Gloria, after washing down a bit of her salad with wine, “but I'm yet to hear anything about it”
Ballister's first instinct is to roll his eyes, tell her that it's her who's been acting all weird and cranky, but he knows better than to go against an older knight, even if she's drunk and injured. She's also his mother-in-law, and he refuses to feed into the stereotype of in laws not getting along.
“The food just distracted us, mom, that's all. It's really good”
Gloria's face softens a bit, and she offers her son a quick sound of agreement.
“Still. I need to know what you two rascals are up to, don't I?”
As if she didn't just violently smash the table, she laughs a bit at her joke, muttering something about teenagers under her breath.
They do their best to explain themselves without setting her off again, Ambrosius providing Ballister with facial expressions that let him know when to shut up and when to keep going. At the end of it, their food is almost gone, Ballister's guilt is almost forgotten, and Gloria looks almost convinced.
"And what do you win, cadet?"
She looks feral, like a lion ready to chew down on it's prey. Ballister refuses to lose against her, not today.
"I get to see my boyfriend be happy. What else could I possibly want?"
Some of the servants seem too moved by his answer to hide their coos, but he doesn't dare look their way, too scared to find out that perhaps that truly are the kids that grew up on his same street, with his same dreams. He keeps his eyes fixed on Gloria's, blue and brown crashing and figthing.
"Sounds like bullshit to me. No one would do all that just for someone else's happiness or whatever"
She shakes her head in disagreement, and Ballister wants to scream at her, tell her that she doesn't know shit about them, that he would walk barefoot into a burning building if it meant saving Ambrosius. He doesn't.
"I don't need anything else" he says, instead, "I only want to make sure that my boyfriend has a choice and-"
"Okay, say you win" interrupts Gloria, looking bemused with him. He hates the way she stares him down like a mere child, "and the interviewer; because this will be televised, that's a no brainer, asks what do you want. What are you going to tell the kingdom?"
He doesn't even hesitate, before answering:
"I would ask for just enough money to pay back my debth with the house of Elpis and the Goldenloin house. Then, for Ambrosius's political allies to be a matter only he can have the final say on. Not you, or me, or anyone else"
She looks at him some more, as if trying to be intimidating. He doesn't budge.
"That is an honest answer" she finally says, nodding, "That's more believable. That, I can accept. I think"
She makes a show of considering things, tapping her index finger to her chin. They keep quiet, waiting for her verdict.
“It's a decent attempt” she concedes, after some seconds of humming to herself. "It's even a good idea"
They both sigh, relieved. She clicks her tongue, and shakes her head, again, like some sort of wet dog, and they feel not so relieved, now.
“But you two are openly... close to one another, right? Everyone knows. Can't do anything if you win and people question us, can we? About your little, well, romance, and all that”
Gloria never really acknowledges the fact that her son is dating Ballister, even if he did come out and confess the secret to her half a year ago, cracking under the pressure of a specially though new years party. It gives Ambrosius some sort of dumb hope, that perhaps his mom might actually start taking his own free will into account and validating his love for Ballister. Even if she always says that that's something she already does.
“We're still trying to figure out what to do with that, Mum”
She laughs some more, making him feel stupid. Ballister looks as confused as he feels when she merely giggles at their faces, gulping down the rest of her drink. A servant refills it immediately.
“You kids are so slow, nowadays” she flaps her hand, rolling her eyes, “a mere fight will be enough. In a public space, obviously. Be nasty about it. My friends and I used to do it when we wanted to get a rise out of our parents. Neat trick”
And, with that piece of advice, she keeps on drinking.
.
Ambrosius excuses them both out of the table when they're done, leaving Captain Gloria to drunkenly mumble nonsense to herself.
The halls of the mansion are spacious and lonely, so they're able to walk together, holding hands, without a care in the world. Ambrosius has grown up here, was raised here. He knows and trusts the staff to keep a couple of secrets.
“She seems… a bit agitated” Ballister says, softly. Gloria has been a sore spot for their conversations ever since the start of their friendship, and they mostly try to avoid talking about her. But if feels wrong, to be in her house and pretend she doesn't exist.
“She's got a dislocated hip” Ambrosius answers, voice impregnated with pity, “Must hurt a lot. She was distracted with this whole thing and a thief managed to hit her real hard…”
He stares at the floor, but they keep on walking to Ambrosius's bedroom. After lunch, Gloria has practically demanded for them to stay until dinner, arguing that they have already lost most of the day, anyways. Neither one of them dared go against her word.
“I'm happy she's mad. At least I'm not the only one worried about your ass”
“I can assure you, Ballister, your thoughts about my ass are really, really different from her thoughts about it. At least I hope so”
Hip bumping his boyfriend for being an idiot, Ballister blushes a bit. Ambrosius does have a nice body.
“Don't be weird about this, Amber. We're literally talking about you mom”
“No, you are talking about her. I'm talking about people's thoughts on my ass. That's a whole different conversation”
“Not a specially interesting one, I'm sure. Much like your very flat ass”
Ambrosius gasps, offended, just as they reach the doors of his bedroom. He makes a show of dramatically slamming the door, just to open it back again mere seconds later, sticking out his tongue at Ballister before allowing him to come in.
“Keep this treatment up, and I'm actually marrying Todd” he threatens, and Ballister half heartedly pushes him.
“Okay, your ass is not flat. Just… sort of concave. Happy?”
“Not so much. But, alas, I'm not really dating a poet, am I? My heart has chosen you, even with your horrible mistreatments towards my figure”
They laugh at the stupidity of the situation, as if guilt isn't eating Ballister alive, as if Ambrosius isn't worried to death for his mom, as if the world isn't collapsing and burning around them.
They take of their shoes, and get into bed, cuddling with each other almost immediately, used to it after years and years of practice. Ballister rests his cheek on Ambrosius's chest, and they hold hands, tangling their legs. This is incredibly inappropriate to do on Ambrosius's house, with his mom meter away, but everything around them feels so wrong right now that this is the closest they can get to normal.
The events of the last few hours settle in. Panic comes back, alongside with every other emotion that they have been trying to run away from. It's scary, to admit that perhaps they could fail. They could be wrong. Ambrosius understands why his mom seems to be in denial all of the time; it's easier to pretend that something is not happening than to deal with the fact that it is.
The room is quiet. They're just teens.
“I'm nervous”
“Me, too. I'm terrified”
“Yeah. Me, too”
And it's just them, their fears and their breaths, for a second. There's nothing else but them. But reality is always there, waiting, and it comes with paperwork and legalities and many, many other things. It's them against the world, even if they would really, really like to just make peace with everyone and sleep until winter.
To avoid silence — because it comes with too many questions, too many memories, too many reminders — Ballister decides to keep on with their plan, furthering it, and asks, “So, now, we fake fight?”
“I think it's the best choice we have, right? Mom said so”
Ambrosius, always eager to follow Gloria's word, seems to perk up. Ballister feels slightly annoyed, but at least his boyfriend looks a little less like a kicked kitten.
“And what are we figthing about, uh?”
This is scary, too. Yeah, a fake figth. That's something they should be able to manage. But there's some issues, here and there, and perhaps they're just waiting for a chance to come out. This could be that chance. And there's no way they're going to actually live apart from each other, but they have to, right? So it's believable.
“What about something stupid? Like, I don't know, jazz?”
“Ambrosius, you know very well how I feel about-”
To stop his boyfriend from going on yet another campaign of hate against freestyle jazz, Ambrosius gives him a quick kiss on the hair, successfully making him shut up.
“Kay, not jazz. What, then?”
“Let's fight about this. I'll be jealous, you'll scream at me for being jealous, and we'll break up. Call me a selfish insecure asshole, or something”
Ambrosius immediately pants like a wounded animal, frowning. He makes Ballister get up slightly, to make sure he can see his eyes. They're full of love. Pure, solid, love.
“I don't ever want to hurt you, Bal”
Ballister chokes on air, because this isn't fair. Ambrosius is so pretty, resting on the mattress, looking up at him. No one else but him should ever get to see him like this. Specially not some imbecile who thinks figthing for him is enough to get married.
“It's just going to be a play-pretend situation, Amber. I don't wanna hurt you, either, but it's going to be just a couple of days. Then, we're back to normal”
Ambrosius ponders on it, pouting. But he finally nods, agreeing.
“Fine. We're hating each other from now on”
.
The next time Ballister wakes up, they're back at the Institute, half naked, fused together like a pretzel. Perhaps they got a bit too sentimental when they came back, and perhaps they stole a couple of sips from Gloria's wine reserve. A make out session had been the start of their so called hate, and Gloreth, did they suck at this.
“Ambrosius. Ambrosius, wake up. Ambrosius, fucking move”
With a bit more of force than needed, he shakes his boyfriend, trying to get him to open up his eyes. Ambrosius attempts to do so and also get up, miscalculating, and falling face first to the floor.
Shit.
Hurrying up to help him, Ballister trips, too. The wine is still in their systems, apparently, and it makes them laugh like idiots as soon as their gazes cross.
“Shit. We're supposed to be figthing, Amber”
“I'm pretty sure last night counts as a form of combat. Sword figths, one may call it”
“Shut the fuck up, honestly. Just, for once, shut up”
“Only if you kiss me, babe"
Okay, maybe they aren't suited for a divorce yet. Ballister got up, grunting, and Ambrosius followed suit, if only because the floor is way too cold to be laying on it with nothing but a boxer and shorts on. He smiled at the wall when he managed to stand up on his own two feet, still dizzy.
“What now, Bal?”
Ballister struggled to put his shirt back on, trying to remember where the fuck his shoes where. It was early, still. If he hurried up, he could sneak out without anyone seeing him.
“Dont ask me. This whole thing was your plan. Think, Ambrosius; for the first time in your life, think”
Ambrosius threw the nearest object at his ungrateful boyfriend, and rolled his eyes when the comb impacted against the desk. Turns out his aim gets affected by alcohol. Who could've thought?
“What was that for?!” Hisses Ballister, barely managing to get done with his clothes. Ambrosius's loopy smile only grew bigger at the sight, and he looked so much like his mom, for a second. Just a second.
“We're figthing, love. I think this is how figths are supposed to go, right?”
And he threw a hair cream bottle, that impacted on the wall.
Ballister opened up the door, just in time for the notebook Ambrosius threw to go flying through it. Some cadets were already out, curious about the noise. Ambrosius, drunk and ad impulsive as his mother, grinned with pleasure. Yes, a public fight, indeed.
“And get out!” he screamed, remembering the way his mother looked at him yesterday, feeling the tears burning on the very corners of his eyes, hating her stare and wishing she looked at him more often “I don't want to talk to you ever again, you hear me?!”
A pillow was thrown. Ballister fought down the urge to burst out laughing. This felt so much like a cheap soap opera.
“It's not my fault you're a coward!” He screamed back, wine helping him come up with the words, “Go and die for all I care, Golden Boy! Hang yourself from a fucking tower, I don't give a shit!”
More and more people came in to witness the situation. Had he been sober, Ballister probably would've stopped. He wasn't, though.
“You're so jealous!” Screeched Ambrosius, like he meant it, “You're just jealous of my suitors being way better than you, you prick!”
Ballister kneeled down, picked up the fallen pillow, and threw it right back at it's owner. Ambrosius barely contained his cackles.
“I'll enter the fucking tournament just so I can disown you, Ambrosius! You don't deserve all that money!”
They were losing the plot a bit, but it didn't really matter. A figth is a figth, no matter the reasons.
“Do whatever you want, Ballister! You're never winning, never !”
Next, a sweater came in, balled up, flying. This one actually hit Ballister on the eye, and he had to take a step back, surprised. Ouch.
“We'll see about that, you idiot!”
With a final heated stare, Ballister turned around, bitting down his tongue to dissimulate the giggles.
.
As soon as he got into his room and locked his door, Ballister opened up his cellphone, already missing his boyfriend's arms. He found a couple of drunken voicemails Ambrosius had already sent his way, and a couple of pictures that matched the vibe of their last night.
Smiling, he got into his own bed, hiding under the sheets. Perhaps intense figths weren't such a bad idea for their relationship, after all.
#nimona movie#goldenheart#ambrosius goldenloin#ballister nimona#nimona#ballister boldheart#nimona (2023)#ambrosius nimona#ambrosius x ballister#ballister blackheart#tournament au#I'm sorry this is like one week late I was having a manic episode#my poor poor psychiatrist is doing what she can#I honestly am about to fall asleep no grammar check is needed when you have god on you side#i really want a sandwich right now#I love writing these idiots atp I don't even know if I'm doing a good job but damn am I having fun#it's 1:20 am. enjoy#I don't accept criticism but I'll kiss you in your sleeo if u leave a comment#not in a creepy way#in a santa Claus way
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Panera really just took a 2 inch thick slab of American cheese and slapped it between two pieces of toast and called it a grilled cheese, huh 😩
This is gonna be what makes me sick again ugh how do you mess up a grilled cheese sandwich 😭
#random rambles#I just wanted comfort food now that I can sort of eat dang it#my mom delivered it for me and now I definitely feel like I wasted her money 😒#Stupid Panera#I usually like their stuff too! What the heck#sorry I was REALLY looking forward to that sandwich now I’m just grumpy
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Not publishing the ask yet because I want to reply with the playlist but I have to comment on it because
Anon. You just gave the biggest neuron activation.
IT'S 2 AM. BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WHEN I'M THINKING ABOUT THEM.
#I have so many thoughts and none of them are coherent#srmthfg#it's just- they make me a little insane sometimes#especially after ghost in the machine (was that what that episode was called. I think it was that)#what if you had a crush on the second in command for ages but never had the guts to actually confess#because he's always focused on the bigger picture and the job and all the things that are More Important#AND THEN HE FUCKING DIES RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES. WITHOUT YOU BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT#listen to me. I don't usually have many problems with the show. but I do think the semi comedic tone of savage lands part 1#was kind of weird sandwiched between all the serious stuff. I understand wanting some levity but everything is in the shit#so. allow me to make it angsty in a gay way. let me indulge for two seconds#WHAT IF YOU SO DESPERATELY WISHED HE SAW YOU AS HIS THIRD IN COMMAND#even if it doesn't matter now that he's gone. you want to think he'd give you that. that he saw you that way#and then he comes back... and you find out that he didn't#but also- he came back a robot. so is it really him? can you trust this illusion just because it talks and walks like him?#even if he isn't... could you ever leave him behind?#WHAT IF HE HELD YOU SO TENDERLY AFTER YOU SAVED HIM AND CARRIED YOU BACK TO SAFETY. WHAT THEN#(blatantly ignores all the spove in ghost in the machind)#WHAT IF YOU GOT TRAPPED IN A MUSEUM AND BECAME COWBOYS. I LOVE COWBOYS#I'm sorry. I'm still kind of sick and thus not fully sane#I promise I'm normal about the monkeys
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Always Webkinzing (Patreon)
#Doodles#Webkinz#OFF#Helix#Dexter Favin#Max Vyer#Mix of old and new doodles now that we're coming up on the end of the year#Don't worry about what day it is pay no attention to the calendar sh shh the year is coming to a close#That first Zum doodle was from fairly early in the year! Well before I got back into playing#I just always love Zums they're always waiting in the wings of my mind#Hehe#That particular Peeky isn't a perfect matching of anyone but they're not that far off from Zana I suppose :0#No reference doodling strikes again lol#I have since looked Very Closely at Zum designs they are always so interesting to me <3#I'd like to study their rarity sometime again too ahh the fun! I really wish Zumwhere wasn't a Deluxe unlock hweh#Spider plush! Fake fan that's not even a Webkinz! I wish it was tho#No we picked him up while out Webkinz thrifting - did find my lilKinz Lioness during the same run! Score!#But I mean - he's a plush spider how could I not get him he's so cute#I believe his name is Peepers as well like - I had no choice here I Couldn't Not it was very important#He lives in the plush hammock in smol and my room now :) And he's very cute! Little bow tie ahh adorable#More characters through the Webkinzifier! Yaaay#Had to toss an Elsen through - little marshmallow lads! Make a little Zone 1/2/3 room - 2 would be a library so that's easy#3's factory aesthetic probably Could be copied...there's even a Wonka-style candy factory oh no lol too perfect#I imagine Elsens would be on the weaker side and would get sick more often - if Dr. Quack was still /here/! Pffbtl#And then Dex and Max <3 Obviously hehe ♥#The funnest part really is thinking about what their PSF and PSI would be - Max's are so easy to imagine especially!#A big fluffy bed and something with a silver spoon - maybe even a reference to his ''special candy'' pft#Caleb's could be a poisoned sandwich lol#They're so cute hhh <3 So much of the fun of Webkinz is the plush-to-life aspect! I want a Max plush and little playable guy!#The real appeal of making plushies at the same time as coding things haha
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farewell, my idiot son…
#(aka my switch’s internals got fried so the repair shop had to format it to revive it: the tragicomedy)#(wait no on further inspection they seemed to have just given up on fixing it and gave me a whole other switch instead. lmao.)#(i wonder what happened to my old switch though…)#(farewell to all of my save data… thank heavens i didnt transfer anything over from past gens of pkmn)#(but aaaaaaaaa this shiny goo was a christmas present from a former acquaintance… rip squish you wouldve loved kimikawaii mv)#man… these past couple of days have been a *l o t*.#shoutout to [job recruitment company employee] who sent me a ‘hey the job wants you :)’ message#at the exact same time that i submitted a job application form for another company. it truly was a strange coincidence i think…#but… ehe… the… the job that wants me is offering $1k more than the monthly base salary i asked for… is… is this really ok…?#nothing’s confirmed yet. but. y’know. s t i l l . is it really ok for me to get paid so much for a job that lets me skip the morning commute#and while im still reeling from all of yesterday’s happenings… squish my dear shiny goo will never be seen again…#switch save system my b e l o a t h e d#so. long story short. take good care of your gadgets and gizmos guys.#then again. maybe im not the best person to say this… i mean. i’ve bricked like. 3 personal laptops in my lifetime…#and a phone sim card. and 2-3 nokia phones. and 3 android phones. and a tablet. and—#so. yeah. uh. it’s a good idea to take care of your stuff. especially if they’re fragile.#anyway. in memoriam of squish my idiot son im gonna try to find another shiny in sv this time. i hope i can find another…#but aaaaa the map in sv is pretty huge. um. i got lost like 10 times before even making it to school…#the friends are all just. so. friend-shaped. though… i like the sandwich pal. he has priorities.#looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds thoughh. i saw spoilers on twt but i need to know how the story even unfolds bc aaaa#ok that’s it idol sengen tl is now on an extended hiatus (ch 35 has just 7 pages left to go) till i complete this game. whenever it may be.#see y’all then~~~~~~~~~~~
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i used to send some whack anon asks to you and your friends. i would like to apologize bc after a long period of reflection, i realized that it was me allowing others thoughts and opinions predominantly about their fanon and headcanons play a greater role than the original story and what was true. i guess i struggled with feeling like i needed to accomodate their opinions and ultimately defend them which was bizarre.
i wish you and your friends lots of good health, joy and many years in the fandom!
I appreciate the apology, and I’m glad you’ve been able to come out the other side of this self-reflection better for it. If you feel the need to defend other people’s fandom ideas to the point of doing things you wouldn’t want your name and face attached to, it’s time to sit down and consider whether you have a healthy relationship to those people or ideas. I hope that others are able to come to your same conclusions and decide that life is much more enjoyable when we focus on the things we love rather than dwelling in harassing others over the things we hate in an attempt to make everyone miserable.
#anon#well now i feel bad that i took so long to respond#sorry this is gonna be sandwiched next to that other weirdo’s ask#i just tend to sit on asks that require real responses#so i can contemplate more on what i want to say#but i am really glad you sent this anon#and my friends are too
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i remember this one sandwich from the martha speaks theme song and thinking that it looked so freaking good. i craved this sandwich
#worf opens their big mouth#martha speaks#i dont know how to describe it#now i really want a sandwich#20
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