#and you can... probably guess how I reacted to that
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Twst First Years reacting to you wearing their dorm uniform
Second years | Third years
Ace Trappola
Smirks when he sees you in the uniform and raises an eyebrow.
“So, you’re trying to steal my style, huh?” He’d say it teasingly, CLEARLY enjoying the sight.
He might try to act like seeing you in his clothes doesn't do anything to him, but there’s a visible pink tint to his ears that you can't ignore
"It’s not bad on you, I guess..." He'd pretend not to care, but deep down, he’s a little flustered by how cute you look.
He’d probably challenge you to a little prank or something while you’re wearing it, to see if you can keep your cool.
“If you wear it like that, you might just steal my spotlight, huh?”
Deuce Spade
His face turns bright red the moment he sees you.
"W-W-What are you doing?!" He stammers out, trying to act like he didn’t just see you in the uniform.
He’d quickly avert his eyes, not knowing where to look.
“You can’t just wear that! It’s not-uh-it’s not like you look bad or anything, it just… feels weird.”
He’s so flustered that he can’t even make a decent compliment without messing up. LMAOOO
He would be lowkey worried about you getting in trouble for wearing his uniform. “Please don’t tell Riddle…”
Deep down, though, he secretly thinks you look adorable and is 100% not mad about it. Just... let him figure out how to tell you that.
Jack Howl
He’s initially calm and composed, but his wagging tail gives away how he feels.
He notices how cute you look in the uniform, but doesn’t want to say it outright.
“It suits you,” he says, trying to keep a neutral tone.
His ears twitch nervously, and he might mutter something like, “Just don’t... make it weird, alright?”
Jack tries to act like it doesn’t faze him at all, but his eyes linger a little longer than he means to.
If you ask for his opinion, he might get a little embarrassed but still offer, “It looks nice on you. Just... don’t get it dirty, okay?”
Deep down, though, he’s secretly proud of how you wear it.
Epel Felmier
He crosses his arms and glares at you playfully. "You better not stretch it out!"
“Honestly, it’s a bit too big for you, isn’t it?” he says with a huff, but he can’t stop his face from turning pink.
He tries to act annoyed, but there’s a clear softness in his eyes.
"You’re lucky you look good in it, otherwise I’d be making you pay for borrowing it!" he says, half-joking, but there's a tiny hint of embarrassment behind his words.
“I guess you look... okay in it.” He tries to sound casual, but he’s a little flustered by how cute you look.
He might even start taking a mental note of how to make sure it’s not too “ruined” when you’re done.
Secretly, he’s totally fine with you wearing it.
Sebek Zigvolt
His eyes widen in shock the moment he sees you. “What are you doing wearing that?!”
Immediately starts lecturing you about respecting Diasomnia’s honor. “You can’t just wear this! It’s a symbol of Lord Malleus’s greatness! You have not earned the privilege of wearing this!”
Glares at you with a scowl, but his eyes linger on you for a second longer than he intends.
“You’re lucky it doesn’t look too bad on you,” he grumbles, clearly flustered.
If you tease him, he’ll deny being jealous but will try to act like he’s not impressed.
But inside, he’s a little flustered and secretly impressed, but he’ll never admit it.
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland fanfiction#ace trappola x reader#ace trappola#deuce spade#deuce spade x reader#deuce x reader#epel felmier#epel felmier x reader#epel x reader#jack howl x reader#jack howl#sebek zigvolt#sebek zigvolt x reader#sebek x reader
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To: @soopyloop
From: @sunsale
Hello and Happy Holidays! I really liked all of your prompt ideas! The Pre-ZTD premium booklet interactions/conversations stood out the most to me though so I decided to draw it out how I thought those scenes could be depicted. I hope you like it!
Dialogue between Eric and Junpei
Eric: My girlfriend is a good girl. But whenever I first introduce her to people, they can’t see her full potential like I can. You are the same way too, aren’t you?
Junpei: Huh, what do you mean by that?
Eric: You can’t think I hadn’t noticed it. The way you look at that girl you like. How you try and track her every movement. And try twice as hard just to keep up… To remain in her reach?
Junpei: Well you’re not wrong about that. Especially about that last part.
Junpei: I guess you and me and hell. Now that I think about it, Akane and Mira. We’re all pretty similar to each other. That’s probably how we got so close to each other so fast.
Eric: (laughs) Yeah I know. I tried to get that point across from close to when we first met. I could see it then and still do now. It was so hard to convince you after we started getting closer and became friends.
Junpei: Can you honestly blame me? I couldn’t trust you that much in the beginning. Plus I didn’t want to believe such an obvious parallel. It hit too close to home to see such desperation from myself in you.
Eric: You can say that again. In truth, if I wasn’t already so set in my beliefs and how strongly I feel about Mira, perhaps I would react the same way.
Eric: We both truly worship and cherish the women we love. How’s about starting a fan club for them?
Junpei: (Still in shock) Hm. I’ll consider it.
Junpei: It’s kinda cringe when you say it like that, but Akane is very special to me. So it would be worth it.
Eric: Same for my Mira.
Junpei: Another thing. I hate to admit this but, whenever all four of us hang out together the atmosphere get a bit weird around us, right? Or am I just imagining that?
#submission#zero time dilemma#ZTD#phi#sigma#Junpei#akane#mira#Eric#Q ZTD#soopyloop#sunsale#zecret santa 2024
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srsly i'd love to see tim come face to face with the same crises dick has faced when it comes to damian. the same ones we keep judging dick for (yeah me too, i'm guilty). we keep going on about how tim would've been a great mentor to damian and i have a lot of fun thinking about this too but when you think about it, would he really? can he really do better than dick? if the angry child decided to hurt someone and was successful, would tim be able to handle it with grace? i think he'd also be vulnerable to the temptation of bias. would he be able to keep on top of damian WHILE being batman? what if damian comes later on, and he ends up going after duke? wouldn't the same criticisms against dick apply to tim too?
guess i'm just curious about how you see tim reacting to the things dick has had to deal with.
i actually know very little about what dick had to deal with while he and damian were batman and robin and im only saying i think tim would have been a better mentor for damian based on personality vibes, probably a healthy dose of fanon, and also the fact that after like a year of dick mentoring him damian still tried to kill tim by cutting his grappling line. so apparently he didn't do that great a job!
maybe tim couldn't have done better, but he would have definitely done differently. first of all, i think he would have been more likely to reach damian on a logical level rather than emotional - explaining things like parts of the social contract from a strictly utilitarian standpoint on why he should adhere to those rules when damian doesn't or can't understand emotionally because he's a brainwashed child with no context in which to assign these things value.
i also think tim might have done better based on past experience with bruce, whose behavior while out of control after jason wasn't too dissimilar to how damian acts in the field, with a lack of impulse control and general recklessness on top of excessive force. from what i have seen of dick's run as batman, he tended to throw his hands up in exasperation and let damian do what he wanted a lot. maybe i'm wrong about the frequency of that, but we have a significant body of evidence that suggests if he were to take damian on as a responsibility, tim would never relent like that.
as far as all of this happening while tim is also batman instead of dick, i...don't see a major difference? if anything that might go more smoothly since if tim got the cowl, unless we're also swapping which character is going on brucequest (personally i like sending jason in tim's stead rather than dick), he'd have nightwing by his side to help with protecting the city, even if tim is taking charge of damian's training - which they might not have initially realized would also mean becoming damian's primary carer, just based on how that kid understands training/caretaking dynamics.
#tim drake#damian wayne#dick grayson#robin#batman#red robin#ask destiny#i think this is about.....#trained by the best#and also maybe#reasons are better than rules#anonymous#my fic#my writing#i forgot again folks
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Christmas kindness letter
To Remedyturtles AKA Remrose,
I’ve read a good chunk of your fics. Probably just about all of them. And what constantly amazes me is your way to just… draw me INTO the story and leave me literally unable to put it down. What’s especially funny about that is how you write a lot of Leo-centric things, and my favourite turtle is Donnie. Leo is my second favourite, though. But I didn’t think I’d ever be so captivated by the stories you tell about him, especially with how heavy with the angst they get.
The first longer fic of yours I read was Stare Directly at the Sun. Which I read in pretty much one sitting. I don’t even know why I clicked on it— considering, as I said, Donnie is my favorite, and I actually do not care for human AUs. Somehow, this one drew me in and locked me there. I loved it.
And Firefight? That took over my LIFE. I powered through it, literally spent HOURS just sitting on the couch reading it (and even reading it outside on a nice day). I joined while it was incomplete, and read what was there in only a few days. Then, I read every subsequent chapter as soon as I could. It was a legit highlight of my day, something I looked forward to, and I was hooked so bad like you wouldn’t believe. It was sad to see it end, but what a beautiful journey it WAS. I love love loved it, especially how long you took to focus on the healing of Leo and Donnie… they went through hell, indeed, and managed to come out the other side stronger. Even Leo, who scared the SHIT out of me for so long. But I’ll cut myself off, here. I could go on FOREVER about Firefight, you have no idea. I’ve been meaning to read this one again, actually. I need to.
The last fic I want to highlight, of yours, is actually one I don’t see talked about much: Take One For the Team. That one. That one. It was haunting. It was sickening./pos It was gripping. I could. not. put. it down. It was horrific to watch Leo go through that, to watch him deteriorate, and even though you didn’t detail his… extracurricular, I felt violated along with him, simply because of how he reacted to it, and how you wrote him processing (or failing to process) it. Slash pos. Seriously. This one. THIS ONE. I guess it isn’t talked about much because it’s a very sensitive topic, but if people can read it, they should. Holy shit, incredible.
I’m not sure what makes your writing so captivating. Maybe it’s how you write the characters. Maybe it’s your style. Maybe it’s both. Maybe it’s something else. I don’t know. But it’s easy to get lost in, and so easy to get attached, to CARE, and to feel along with these characters. Reading your stories is like sitting in the passenger’s seat of a friend’s car on a long road trip. You experience everything together, and, to me, it feels pretty damn special.
Anyways. I’ve prattled on enough. If you’ve got more gems planned, I’ll be happy to read them (in the meanwhile, I have on my list to read Little Kid With a Big Death Wish because I HAVE NOT READ THAT YET I have TOO MANY FICS TO READ/lh it’s on the list tho).
Have a very Merry Christmas!! :D
@remedyturtles
Christmas Kindness Event Post
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Hey! I'm late for the party (because being overworked and underpaid sucks and always ends up in burnout -not fully recovered as of now, just with spare time because its Christmas, I'm working and nobody is calling so I can delve in Tumblr as much as my heart desires-).
First of all... I wrote my original reply around 2 or 3 am because my dog woke me up and I couldn't fall asleep again. So probably I had a point and eventually lead to something else because... sleepy brain goes brr.
About the writing
It is true that between saying it or just leave it out the text, leaving it out of the text is the safer option. There is also the posibility that it was planting an idea that never truly came to be so it is just dangling there with no other purpose... it happened to me a few times that I plant a seed of something in a story and then completely forget about it and sometimes I remember and remove it. I don't know how the time frame and due dates are in the process of creating a comic (if it was written arch per arch or if NG had all planned out and later came up with the different issues) but I guess that is they were going issue per issue -writing, drawing, coloring, formating and eventually printing it- there weren't many options to go back and fix something that didn't worked.
And yes... these were the '90s so... there isn't much to do about it.
In the end of the day, Sandman isn't Hob's story. Maybe there was a chance that if audiences liked him enough there could've been a limited run series of him through time and it didn't happened maybe there was a plan to do so but audiences preffered Death over him (can't blame them). Then the audience could've see him after his meeting with Morpheus and maybe growing a backbone eventually to stop his bussiness with the Slave Trade. We will never know.
Shipping and willingfully-ignorant fans
I'm not into shipping either (I'm not going to deny that in any fandom some edits or fanarts are cute) and in this particular case, even if I understand from where it comes from... I'm so done with it. Maybe if instead of casting the son they would've gone with the father things wouldn't have gone that far 🤣
Mischaracterization is a common phenomena in any fandom, sometimes it could be the main shtick to the plot of one pice of fanfic but when the bee-hive fandom accepts it as official headcanon there is no turning back and you just have to ignore it.
Had fandom had a more accurate-looking Hob they might've reacted differently. I haven't read the comics but I've seen a few panels... and he kind of grosses me out. There is no question there that he was on any easy-way to do money (thief, soldier, slave trader) with little to no remorse. But shippers only see what they want to see and leave any kind of nuance flies out the window.
There are (possibly) many fanfic writers that took Hob's dark past (in general) and did created well grounded stories where he gets to reflect on what he's done and how to atone for it. But fluff is fluff and it gets more views. And I think that's the root of it all... some people just want a cozy coffe-shop AU because they are only in there for the romance, others want to read something that will make them question either the character or themselves, analize how certain events played out or could happen. Pretty much as with movies you have the blockbusters, the historic dramas, the romance and an audience for each one of them.
It might feel like some of them are glossing over a very serious subject that should be treated with respect however there is a different place to tackle those subjects on... hopless romantic fanfics are not the right place.
However there is also those who go full "he did nothing wrong" and this could stem from both options: people who are racist themselves, or people that has no idea of what it being a part of the Slave Trade really means. Given that History is so far back, is easy to "forget" or even imagine the living conditions back then. Of course, those who have grandparents or greatgrandparents that have experienced it in the flesh will not let it fly.
In the end of the day it all depends on whoever is reading. They can be affected by it, shocked, outraged or not... that's how Art works and none of us has the right moral compass to tell others if they should be ashamed or not.
We can tell them to knock it off or at least tag properly, but thats an entirely different can of worms 🤣
Hob Gadling’s Involvement in the Transatlantic Slave Trade between the 16th and 19th Century
The Fallacy of (clumsily written) Racial Reconciliation or: Is show/Hob really different from comics!Hob
I originally wrote this a while back as a reply to someone else’s post, but since we’ve been discussing “Men of Good Fortune” (comics) and “The Sound of Her Wings” (Netflix) in our community over the past weeks, I’ve expanded on a few points of my original thoughts.
This post discusses difficult topics, systemic racism, questions of social (in)justice and problematic angles in writing. If that’s not your thing, this is the exit sign…
A question that comes up quite frequently is the following:
Is show!Hob different from comics!Hob?
Hob’s conversation with Dream in 1789 (and not just 1789) in the show has been significantly altered (compared to the comics), and it makes it tempting to believe this somehow makes him different regarding the more problematic side of his character.
In the comics, we have a bit of dialogue in 1789 that shows how deeply involved in the slave trade Hob was: “I sort of started it,” said with a hint of, dare I say, pride? And then brushing off Dream’s concerns by saying, “It’s a living.” Twice.
(They changed this to, “It’s just how it’s done”, and a shrug in the show.)
And it’s true: If this had been integrated into the show, it would have painted him in an even worse light. However, I personally think it was the wrong move to leave it out (Ferdinand Kingsley carefully voiced something along those lines as well btw). Because now the show pushed Hob’s whole involvement in the slave trade much more into the direction of, “Oopsie.”
Can we truly take leaving out the above dialogue as a hint that Hob might be a better person in the show? I’d like to really reflect on that--leaving out those comments can’t make him a better person. Even if we change his arc slightly and he “wasn’t that involved.” You’re involved, or you aren’t. There is no, “I tried a bit of slave trading and decided it wasn’t for me.” One could even argue it makes the angle of the show more problematic because it makes the slave trade a “little blip” in his timeline. Things like that can’t be a blip. I personally think the writers made a mistake here, but that’s obviously just my opinion.
If there wasn’t enough space in the show to expand on it (which I get for a side character), I feel they should have left out the slavery arc completely instead of keeping, but then minimising it (that might sound contradictory, but it only does if you don’t look at it too closely). It already didn't sit right with me 30 years ago to use slavery as a side note for showing a white person’s character development without properly examining the damage caused, and it still doesn't sit right with me now. It makes the plight of PoC a plot vehicle to centre white people’s guilt, and I always thought that’s a blind spot only white people have (and I’m white myself, to get that out of the road straightaway).
I’m not saying it couldn’t or shouldn’t have been used narratively. Or that you can’t show remorse and atonement/redemption for the most heinous acts (that’s not the same as forgiveness—I’ll get to that). Or that characters who have committed said acts are irredeemable. But it would have needed to be fleshed out instead of making it a comment in passing. Many books and movies do exactly that. But the point is that it’s never been fleshed out.
“But they had to shorten and streamline it…”—just no. Because to me (and ofc people are free to disagree), that exactly proves the point—centring the white guy while sidelining the people who suffer. I am a bit doubtful we’ll get anything remotely appropriate in the show after what we’ve already seen. Only time will tell, so I’m withholding final judgment at this point. Fact is: It is uncomfortable to watch for people with any sensitivity on the matter.
And yet, there is a lot of focus on leaving out Hob voicing his regret in 1889, since that (again) “would have painted him in a better light.”
While simultaneously regularly failing to mention that he proudly proclaimed he “invented” the triangle trade. Can we really pick and choose his traits like that? Hob is a materialistic opportunist who also has some regrets. That doesn’t mean he can’t exist as a character, or that we’re not allowed to like him (morally grey characters are often the most compelling ones). We don’t need to sanitise him though, or try to erase his problematic traits from canon. The same goes for other characters (yes, I’m looking at you, Dream, and I’m sure we’ll get to that very soon—in fact, we’re possibly starting tomorrow 🫣). If we are talking about Hob’s remorse, we are probably mostly thinking about Sunday Mourning, so I need to bring in issue #73 at this point (this is your spoiler warning if you don’t want to read ahead).
The Fallacy of Racial Reconciliation
Very plainly:
A black woman is used as a vehicle to forgive Hob. And said black woman has been written by a white male author for that sole purpose without giving her anything else to do. I personally think NG got that wrong. It was clumsy and insensitive to POC, and I really hope they change this for the show. It’s a fact that he really wasn’t good with writing black female characters in the whole run—they all get fridged in one way or another, and he even admits it in the Sandman Companion. And then turns around and basically implies that it's all okay now because “nothing bad” happens to Gwen once Morpheus is dead. She is allowed to be a vehicle for the character development of a white guy though. It’s just really insensitive, and I sincerely hope they don't put it in the show this way. And I’m glad that we're seeing hints it might not happen--at least the casting in the show hints at it (from Lucienne, Death and Rose to very likely turning Carla into a white man—we already met Carl, and that’s who he is IMHO).
There is also the not so small fact that Hob is, even in his guilt and shame (shame is always about yourself, and that’s actually very in keeping with his character), not honest with Gwen. The thing about him basically inventing the triangle trade, which he so proudly proclaimed in 1789?
The English who were so good at it? The “Jack” Hawkins he talked about in 1789? That’s actually this dude:
And Hob funded him 200 years before 1789, and enabled Hawkins. Hob was involved in what became the transatlantic slave trade well before 1789–he already funded it when he had money in the 1500s.
He carried that mindset around with him for literal hundreds of years and saw nothing wrong with it until at least (! more about that in a sec) 1789. Dream had to rub his nose in it, otherwise it wouldn’t even have occurred to him (or did it, and he just chose to ignore it--see below).
Hob has been written as a stand-in for humanity, British Imperialism and England over the centuries—with all that entails.
So how honest is he with Gwen? And how long, even after 1789, was he still involved, even after abolition in England (Somerset vs. Stewart declared slavery unlawful in England in 1772, but that wasn't true for the rest of the British Empire. Buying and selling slaves was only made illegal in 1807, while owning slaves only became unlawful with the Abolition Act of 1833, and it took another year to buy out slave owners to actually make it happen)? Because there’s still this:
“It got worse when they did [outlaw the slave trade]. You only needed one voyage in three to make a profit. You could afford to dump your cargo if… you spotted a British Man o’ War.” How does he know? Why does he have these nightmares? We can take a guess…
That’s not someone who tried it for a couple of weeks and then thought, “Sorry, my bad.” That’s someone who has been opportunistically involved from the 1500s and potentially until after slavery was unlawful in England, which it already was when he talked to Dream in 1789. So does his feigned ignorance of, "It's a living/It's how it's done?" really hold? Especially if he potentially kept going, even after that convo with Dream? When I wrote "between the 16th and 19th Century" in the header, that's exactly what I meant...
Guilt and Shame
Yes, what we see above and in all the other panels is guilt and shame. And it reminded me of this:
youtube
And I’d encourage everyone to really listen to what Jasper has to say, and sit with the feelings it brings up. Because I can still remember watching this in the George Floyd aftermath for the first time, and how deeply uncomfortable it made me—because he’s right.
Black people/PoC do not need to forgive and absolve white people from their guilt. They can if they wish to, but that’s their choice, not ours. It’s not for white people to absolve other white people from their guilt around the oppression of PoC. And that’s why it could be argued it’s not for white people to write a black character to do that in their stead either (they can of course, but then they need to live with the fact that people will call them tone-deaf). It could also be argued it is something that cannot be forgiven retrospectively, and white people need to be okay with that. It can only be worked on in the present with a view to the future. And as Jasper also so rightly points out:
The guilt is not even helpful (at least Gwen has the right sentiment there, but it’s still falls incredibly flat over all), and shame only centres ourselves.
Forgiveness vs Redemption
Hob Gadling's regrets don't make everything he did forgivable. I think it actually does the story a disservice if that’s our main takeaway, because this is truly one of the bits of The Sandman that’s written in an extremely tone-deaf manner. NG isn’t the first author who did this, but we can take something good and helpful from this, and that’s engaging with these questions instead of brushing them under the carpet—because that’s what literary analysis is about.
It should be clear that I do see Hob Gadling as narratively important because I see him as a stand-in for humanity, and more specifically, English history. And there is really so much to learn from that.
Writers can get things narratively right but still be emotionally tone-deaf due to their own blind-spots. We don’t need to assume malice, but we also don’t need to leave it entirely unchallenged.
And because of that, we can certainly see Hob as someone who has to live with his conscience, and the consequences of his actions, for the rest of his life and struggles with that (as he should). And maybe we can see him as someone who is now, finally, trying to do the work. Because that is what atonement and redemption actually mean:
Taking action to rectify past wrongs. Actively working against the harm once caused, and preventing it from ever happening again. And I hope that’s what he does, and the signs are there (but there are also still signs that he values covering up his immortality higher than e.g. telling Gwen the truth. And we can find a million excuses for why that is, but ultimately, none of them truly matter).
However, it is not the same as forgiveness from the people we have wronged. Forgiveness is not a prerequisite to redemption, although it can be a part of it if the person who has been wronged chooses to extend it. But the people Hob wronged are dead, while their descendants still need to live with the pain people like Hob caused to this very day. So while I don’t see him as irredeemable, I don’t think he needs to, or even can, be forgiven—especially not by black people (unless they choose to. But it is also fine if they don’t, and again, we need to be okay with that). And we could say, “But Gwen chose to.” To that, I say:
I wonder what Gwen would have said if he had been truly honest with her (which he wasn’t, see below panels). That wouldn’t have been an embrace is my guess…
#the sandman#sandman#hob gadling#cw racism#when you've been pushing this response till you have time and that time is Christmas#I'm still taking calls tho - I had 6 so far and 1hr 15 minutes to go
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pmdd has you crying in bed like "and the fact that I cry for like three days every month is another reason why no one will ever love me!!!"
patently ridiculous illness
#pmdd#I had a serious problem with emotional regulation when I was a child#probably because of poorly understood neurodivergence#but I cried about EVERYTHING all the time forever#I felt like literally anything that happened was the worst thing in the entire world#I was a small nervous dog all the time#and I was always convinced that there was this nebulous Awful Consequence that would happen if I wasn't perfect#so like I would lose at a game? cry. favorite movie wasn't on? cry. made a mistake on a test? cry. rules of a game changed? cry. and so on#I wanted to be a good child SO badly#the only time I was ever sent to the principal ever was because I was crying too much and it was disrupting my kindergarten class#and you can... probably guess how I reacted to that#anyway whenever I get these PMDD crying jags now it reminds me of this time when I was little#I came home SOBBING#and my parents were like oh no honey what happened#and I said I was crying because the kids were making fun of me for crying too much :')#it's that same circular logic#sobbing because I have the disease that makes you hate yourself and sob#and then hating myself more because of the sobbing#it's genuinely so fucking dumb#and there is that part of me that's like 'girl just go make a sandwich and calm down'#but you can't really rationalize yourself out of it huh
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Something really great about the persona 2 cast is that they all individually fucking SUCK to talk to casually. Every single one of them. They are all infuriating. We have:
Tatsuya, who will stare at you blankly if you try to initiate conversation (IS) and will dip without saying a word afterward (EP)
Batsuya, who will scoff and brush you off/otherwise act dismissive
Eikichi, who might honestly be the best to talk to in the IS crew and that is not saying much, who WILL talk extremely loudly over you (probably not on purpose?) and will not be paying particularly close attention to the conversation beyond whatever he wants to say (gets points for talking about his gf. gets points taken away for constantly talking about his gf)
Lisa, who will automatically assume bad faith and will be rude to you the entire conversation unless you manage to defuse her temper (good luck)
Jun, who is uncommunicative at BEST and requires an encyclopedic knowledge of flowers, metaphor and body language just to get a HINT on what he’s thinking, and who will be extremely polite but completely unhelpful. If you tried asking him what he wants for dinner I guarantee it will be the longest 30 minutes of your life as he goes “oh I have no opinion :) whatever you want. :))” EXCEPT HE DOES HAVE OPINIONS. He has SO MANY OPINIONS. He is Expecting you to be able to pick up on his “obvious” clues. He will be passive aggressive if you don’t. (Jun babygirl you suck so bad I love u)
Maya, who is a delight but will very quickly become grating if you try to talk to her about anything serious as she hits you with the white suburban mom's "how to live a happy, healthy life" lifecoach slogans. You can’t even mention, like, stepping in a puddle or something without her hitting you with the positivity beam.
Yukino is great actually. 10/10. She’s fabulous we love her. Incredible conversationalist, chill and fun and easy to get along with. But she’s from Persona One, she doesn’t Count.
Ulala, who WILL bring up her relationship problems in every conversation within 10 minutes at least once. Any longer and she will start talking about Maya.
Do I even need to explain Baofu. Have you seen him.
And finally, Katsuya, who is a cop and a kiss ass and Very Obvious about these things. Also he can't talk to women. He can barely talk to men. Help Him.
And yet they all work wonderfully as a group. They are so annoying I love them
#long post#Nanjo and Elly don't count btw#hi I fucking adore them#I missed them <3 Suou Brothers crawling back into my brain#Persona 3-5 have a very charming casts that are easy to like immediately. Persona 1 & 2 are filled with the most annoying bitches alive#exaggeration obviously. not by that much tho#persona 2s cast in particular is very charming. when they're TOGETHER. Individually? Wellllll...#hmm something about p2s cast in particular feels less. gimmicky? I guess? than the newer persona games#which isn't to say that those casts are worse or that the p2 cast ISN'T gimmicky because they are#but idk. you kind of always know how Ryuji or Ken or Yukiko will react to a situation. but the p2 cast may surprise you#again: doesn't make any of the later casts bad! I absolutely adore them. That you can predict them is evidence of strong character writing!#The p2 cast just feels a little more fleshed out is all. probably because the lack of social links means they're able to progress#throughout the story and change without worrying about conflicting with a link yanno?#I love social links though I think they're a great edition!#They need their kinks ironed out a bit but Yosuke has already proved that they are absolutely capable of working hand in hand with the#development of characters in the story as well#and theyre still fun even when they don't impact the story. I like getting to know side#characters too! (Naoki and Ei and Ai and Daisuke and Kou and the old lady and Akinari and-)#tag ramble#persona 2#tatsuya suou#eikichi mishina#lisa silverman#jun kurosu#maya amano#yukino mayuzumi#ulala serizawa#baofu#katsuya suou#Also um. hi. Its been a while lol
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Can’t, too busy flirting ♥ (Patreon)
#My art#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#FRICK I forgot ZEX's bruises lol#I drew them in the sketch even! It's why his left eye is closed rather than his right fjdsaklfdfds#Well DAX will probably have that ankle brace on him still by the time ZEX's face and neck are all healed up anyway *handwaves handwaves*#Anyway lol#I've been wanting to try my hand at the ''heartbeat'' style for a while now! Pretty sure this is my first ever attempt! :0#I guess that one blushy react I made a couple years ago for VLH could count? But that was with vectors so#Was mostly curious as to how long it would take and how tedious it would be with my tablet#Using my crayon brush for the lineart and colours made it more fun :) Very unconcerned with how ''clean'' it would look by the end#Which I think is how this style is meant to be approached - if it was too smooth or too aligned then it wouldn't move!#I think I like it well enough :)#I had another one I was thinking about doing first - even sketched up a while ago now - but this image hit me most recently#New shiny - you know how it is :P#And they're so cute how can I resist <3#Max being shorter than Dexter is So good and then ZEX nad DAX are in there and it's just jdkslafd#Extremely yes very much so agree#They're cute! I love them!#Someday I'll get really good at DAX's parade rest pose because I keep attempting to draw it correctly and haven't yet#But I haven't given up!! I'll get it someday!!!#ZEX is effortlessly adorable so that's easy lol#Even if I didn't get the bruises his blush was still real fun to texture :)
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#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)
Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go
This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.
#rangnar rambles#i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later#and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts#i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me#'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything#even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across#like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere#and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go#i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical#ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting#its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays#thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd#its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again#but eh soo la voo we ball#HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard#5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is#this is why youll never catch me running a queue#this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in#ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now#if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened
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once again thinking about a version of the story where 13 lands in sheffield three years earlier when ryan and yaz are still sixteen and a whole lot angrier
13 turning out a bit more immature bc she spends her first twenty-four hours after regenerating with these reactive and kinda fucked up kids. ryan dealing with grace and graham recently getting married or getting ready to get married. probably feeling abandoned by his grandmother after his mother and father. feeling alone with his grief. maybe kinda just has tibo to confide in. yaz meanwhile is in hell getting bullied and either recently got driven home from a running away attempt and is now dealing with the familial aftermath of that, or is planning the running away. maybe kiiiiiiinda just has sonya to confide in but probably not really. probably doesnt confide in anyone
13, still malleable and fluid, running into these messed up teenagers who reflect all her own lonely angry betrayed abandoned feelings back to her, shaping herself in response to them. they dont trust her at all to start with, but i think she'd win yaz over in a similar way she does in canon, presenting herself as an authority who listens and understands. perhaps slightly more the understanding than authority part at this point in yaz's life. maybe she lands in front of yaz actually in the hills before anita can get there. yaz is like "where the fuck did you come from" and shes like "um the troposphere i think" and yaz is like "how are you not dead" and shes like "oh i was! but then i decided maybe i shouldnt be. so. now im here :) with you!" and that kinda strikes a chord with yaz. and then the doctor's like "do you happen to have a sandwich in that backpack im starving"
then aliens happen and once they run into ryan, yaz is already won over and she and ryan recognise each other and she convinces him that, like, no shes not nuts, theres definitely aliens shes seen them
11x1 would go entirely differently obviously. maybe grace wouldnt die and graham wouldnt travel. ryan maybe decides to travel a little bit out of spite and home doesnt really feel like home, and yaz isnt having fun at home or at school either and she was running away anyway so this is not a hard decision
the emotional instability and bad decision counter of a team tardis thats just 16-year-old yaz and ryan and 13 is kind of amazing to imagine. it'd be so volatile but they'd love each other so much i think they'd be the best friends bc instead of starting off closing herself off from grief, 13 would start off having her justified and irrational anger sort of validated and coaxed out i think by yaz's and ryan's. in the tardis between the three of them there would be a place to express "nobody cares about me" whether thats true isnt the point, i think theyre all feeling it a little bit. "everyone just moved on like mum didnt matter/'tell an adult' like what are they gonna do?/okay it wasnt all their faults but all my friends are dead" you know? i think they'd be heard with each other and i think there'd be space for the injustice of it all and especially as the doctor is like a children's advocate most of all, she would take ryan and yaz seriously in a way i think they wouldnt have been by any other adult in their lives at that point. and in return they, just by being there as they are, would make room for the hurt child that 13 is and will turn out to be
and i dont have details for this but i think it would be really nice if the way 13 listens and takes seriously yaz and ryan in the first season (not like consciously or deliberately or anything, shes not trying to Do anything, this is just who the doctor is) would be mirrored in the second and/or the third when they have calmed down a bit, dealt with some of their issues at home, talked to some family members, become a little less depressed and angry etc, and they return the way she treated them when she finds out abt the timeless child and tecteun. she took their anger seriously and she took them seriously when they said "this isnt fair" and in return they can take her anger seriously, probably are angry on her behalf, and they can stop her from overcorrecting from like being 10 by pointing out to her that this isnt fair and shes allowed to be angry abt it
and when yaz inevitably gets a crush i think it shows up as a kind of out of character/seemingly regressive prickliness and snappiness toward the doctor getting more intense over the course of s12 that ryan and the doctor first are puzzled by bc like sure in the first half of s11 maybe they were all a bit snappish with each other but theyve been friends for like a year now whats this about all of a sudden? and yaz is like Nothing!!!! it's nothing!!! piss of!!! bc shes having feelings she doesnt know what to do with or how to interpret so theyre just manifesting as Angery. that same need to prove herself + probably worry abt the doctor as in canon except a lot more combative and a lot less inhibited. shes probably picking fights abt everything the doctor tells her to do. trying to provoke the doctor into actually getting mad and yelling at her or, god forbid, grabbing her, shoving her, using her hands bc yaz wont listen to words. sometimes youre 17 and horny and you dont understand you want one of your two friends in the world to kiss you bc it hasnt occurred to you that girls kissing girls is a thing that can happen. ryan figures it out first
in this version ryan probably stays until the end too - or the same as in revolution happens and yaz feels betrayed that he'd give up on the doctor so easily and feels alone in the entire world again - graham and dan wouldnt come into the picture. ryan's and yaz's family would come into the picture a little more actively. theres a lot of plot to figure out that i cant and it would be a very different era in many ways but i think it would be nice
#if i could figure out plot i'd write it but it's really not my forte#it's been 4 years and im still turning this era every which way trying to wring a bit of catharsis out of it#i think it would be nice esp bc like i said i think the doctor mainly is a children's advocate#and i think it would be nice if like. that got reflected back to them#like.......i cant articulate this clearly#like in the end nobody even knows abt the timeless child right?#it's just twisted stories in villains' hands and we dont even have a name#i imagine the doctor seeing ryan and yaz as the people they are when they meet#and in return they can see her and the child she was later on#nobody fucking knows!#and im not saying like oh she should tell everyone the trauma or whatever#i just feel like#who honoured this child?#who saw her?#i feel like theres a kind of opportunity there if ryan and yaz are still younger#also they were 19 in canon they shouldnt have been so fucking put together!#they were way too emotionally stable#even for 19#but i think it'd be more fun if they are 16 and truly In The Midst Of The Horrors#also i want to see thasmin play out with yaz barely 20 and their dynamic built on this.......teenage solidarity i guess#like im sure ryan would be the one to figure it out but how does he react?#does he point it out in front of the two of them or does he ask yaz once when theyre alone#like in a scene at the end of 12x7 like 'so do you like her or smth?'#and shes like 'no! what? no!'#and hes like 'are you sure. like im not homophobic it's fine but'#and shes like 'w aht the fuck are you talking about' bc shes actually like what the fuck is he talking abt#but then later in bed shes like 'wait..........wait' and has a crisis abt it#(this doesnt improve the weird irritability re: the doctor. and then she Dies. and that does NOT improve the weird irritability)#and then if ryan stops travellin gin revolution then flux starts with yaz being aware shes in love with the doctor#and the doctor probably too. does this change things??
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hmmm
does this seem neutrally polite enough? I want it to be clear I really don't think it's intentional, that I'm not trying to be condescending, that it's up to them what they do with this info, but that if they're unaware of this they should probably take a second to do a google and make a decision for themselves
'This looks awesome! Just wanted to let you know, as I don't know how common knowledge this is, so I'm super sorry if you were already aware and don't intend to acknowledge it (totally cool!), but chonky lace ups - like these and along the line of docs irl - are often associated with the lace code. A way to sort of signify a belief or political stance. White laces is for white supremacists, and red are neonazis. Again, to be really clear, Im not saying you need to change any of these! I don't know if anyone will care, or notice in the context of the game, but I thought it was worth saying in case you weren't aware and if it were something you'd want to know!'
#im always so!!!!! about couching this shit in so much politeness and understanding#but even when you do that and are as gentle as you can fucking be people will REACT if they're just that kind of person#i very gently said that language like 'not a real woman' was kinda transphobic but also don't worry about it just so you know moving forwar#and they got so fucking angry at me for bringing it up to them and 'calling them transphobic'#and then whenever i replied to anything they said regardless of how clear i communicated - used intent tags or emojis or direct language#they'd say shit like 'i always feel like you're judging everything i say now' even when i was joinging in a silly bit and just chatting#because i once ever so hand holdingly#said that in english that sort of phrase is usually said with transphobic intent but i know that's not what they mean#so i just wanted to make sure they didn't have that miscommunication with anyone else :D#im probably just not going to post this anyways cause i hate the idea of that happening again#but oh well i wrote it up so i guess i'll peer review it before i chicken out
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My sister-in-law frustrates me to no end even though we barely ever interact because she keeps inviting my partner to parties with her Christian Republican friends, even though my partner told her not to send an invite to us if those friends will be there. And even though my sister-in-law is bisexual!!
And then she turns around and complains about not knowing how to deal with her friends saying, like, horrible sexist stuff as though that is just some natural unavoidable quirk of having friends!
Like, these Christian Republicans she has befriended don't seem to be kind - they're not even nice a lot of the time! They don't make for good friends, and she doesn't seem happy or supported in relation to them. In fact, she basically only ever talks about how her friends and/or current boyfriend are making her unhappy!
Because here's the thing: The effect of prioritizing 'including your Trump-supporter friends at your parties' over 'being invested in creating a safe space for marginalized people in your home', is that people who DO care about creating those safe spaces... won't wanna hang out with you! Because if you invite both cats and mice to your table equally, only the cats will show!
She's so afraid of losing the shitty friends she has now that she allows them to act as barriers to accessing friends who are invested in her wellbeing in a capitalistic hellscape!
It makes me sad because she's basically trapped herself, and there's nothing I can do to offer help without either compromising my morals or making my partner's life way harder by starting shit with her family.
Like, I consider myself a good friend, yeah? I try really really hard to be one, and it matters to me immensely. I am ride-or-die for the folks I love, and I am invested in being open and vulnerable and radically safe to be around when it comes to building strong friendships that are mutually fulfilling. I have a unique talent for validating people that I have honed for years because I genuinely want to make sure people feel safe and loved and seen.
And if my sister-in-law and I were friends, I could give all of that to her. I would strive to be an example of what it looks like when someone decides to care about you and treat you right on purpose, without expecting anything in return but your mutual respect. She would be family. She would be [Queer] Family. I would see to it that she knew she could call on me when she needed a friend.
But like.
This asshole has invited me to hang out with Trump supporters on multiple occasions.
We ain't gonna be friends.
#original#diary#family shit#I'll just continue to act friendly at family events#my friends help make me a better person. i don't think she could say the same for hers. makes me mad and sad#reminds me of the time i had to end a friendship bc a woman i had been inviting to group events revealed to me that she was#literally friends with Kelly Ann Conway. yes the aid to the president. that Kelly Ann. and when i tell you this friend of mine did NOT#understand why her defending Kelly Ann Conway made me feel unsafe. it was WILD#that's how my sister-in-law reacted when my wife was like 'hey stop inviting my non-cis ass to parties with transphobes'#both made arguments similar to 'i already don't have many friends why do you want me to lose more??'#like girlies you can't invite me and a bunch of homophobic Christians to the same party what is fucking wrong with you??#you can goddamn bet if you came to one of my parties there wouldn't be anyone there who'd try to defend the Trump administration#loneliness is frightening and painful and no joke but cowardice is no joke either#and this attitude meant that my wife and i could not safely rely on her when we went through several crisis situations#and this is something i find difficult to forgive bc shit was touch and go over here for a couple years#my wife isn't even as salty as i am about it but she never is when the primary person harmed is herself#maybe if sister-in-law recognized the flawed behavior and changed but she probably won't tbh and i have shit to do#have fun with your fascist friends girlie i wonder if sometimes it feels more lonely than if you were alone#have fun practicing the white silence our parents got so good at; you're really carrying on the family business your dad must be so proud <#i haven't had to deal with friends saying sexist shit for literal years sorry you've made yourself unsafe to trans people i guess#making friends is hard i know that all too well. but i also know that the more friends i make who make me feel sad and small#then the less time i have for friends that make me feel loved and motivate me to be a better person. time=limited. people=over 6 billion.#school was harder because the amount of folks was more limited. same with small towns. but we are all ADULTS LIVING IN CHICAGO#capitalism makes finding friends harder too but like it has GOT to matter to you that Trans people and POC feel safe#we each have control over whether oppressed people feel safe around us. don't fucking waste that.
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don't mind me opening up in the tags
#aaaah i have a nurses appointment next wednesday#i don't want to go but i have cancelled the last two nurses appts and lowkey ignored or not reacted to the doctors messages#i have to go i guess#i just know that i should let them know how i am really doing#you know dealing with treatment fatigue a growing self dissatisfaction and being disappointment with myself#that paired with the hypo spells from the previous year where i have passed out has caused major concern among many#and they keep on checking in with me which would otherwise be fine but when they previously didnt care i now feel uncomfortable#i ruined the team day at work by passing out and requiring an ambulance#same goes for christmas#i have worried out people in thrift shops#major department stores#work in general#i hate it hate it hate#most nights i've been severely hypoglyceamic and woken up with massive headaches and brain fog#rather just wished i hadnt woken up at all#like i wouldnt do anything to myself you know but i am just too tired to care anymore if something would happen by accident#i will probably just end up saying that everything is fine and just normal :)#i mean yeah this is my normal so i am technically not lying hah#literally no one cares emma#yeah you can just skip this :D
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like ok
> has very definite Trauma Things from various times in life > has difficulty remembering some of them for Various Reasons, while others are. way way way too vivid. > has continuous difficulty sleeping, including a variety of reoccurring disturbing dreams coupled with a general apathy about them (refusal to call most of them nightmares bc most of them im not actually scared in, which kinda rly says smth about me mentally, i think) > general avoidance of Trauma Things > general negative reactions when Trauma Things r brought up
uhmmmm yea ok
#speculation nation#negative/#I Guess . im just kinda sorting it out lol#i can think of like. three or four ish things for sources of these#and like. Childhood. which i remember but also it's spotty. comes largely in assorted memories & me being like 'wow thats fucked up'#Teenage Time. bad relationship etc etc yea it fucked me UP. doing a lot better nowadays but it still permanently altered my brain. like ok#... cat thing. which is probably the most classic sense of ptsd if you consider how i reacted to tally having a bloody poop lmaooo#plus Sudden Death is a stated semi-common ptsd cause. so it. makes sense.#& honestly id probably count covid as a source too. a bit more iffy since it's less personalized. but Man#im definitely somehow even more neurotic now than i was pre-covid so like. that sure says smth.#am i oversharing rn? probably. but it's vague enough so whateverrr#ur following me on the Trauma Sharing Website so if youve read this far that's on u#anyways yea i guess i probably do have ptsd. whoooopssss#still not gonna do anything about it. i dont got time for taking care of my mental health lmaoo
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at some point I have GOT to fuckign figure out what the hell happened to me that made it hard to talk to people online
#that shit used to be SO FUCKING EASY and now it's like pulling teeth.. at best#which has been really helpful and healthy for me as someone that spends most of their time online#like it can't *just* be long covid can it?#assuming I got more extra bonus ptsd or w/e from something but I can't figure out what...#like for all my problems it's not like people have reacted negatively to me online - if anything I'm pretty lucky on this front!#like I guess it could be a reaction to how the internet's changed or even somehow just an aging thing but.. idk that doesnt seem like it#most obvious answer is long covid making PDA unlivable but well... “you're just fucked go die” is not the answer I or anyone is looking for#ok wait real theory is it could be undersocialization since back then I was in school and shit and even after that I couldnt just be a neet#bet if you graphed that this (avg socialization vs communication problem level) itd look real convincing#I am trying to improve this but doing things is so hard can a cute girl just come hang out with me. as like a community service#we don't even have to cuddle or make out if she doesn't want to#just until im a person again it'll only take a few years probably
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