#i literally had to leave i was so upset
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Wishing everyone else a happy and safe pride, and for your floats not to get vandalized like ours did (we were unfortunately not able to walk inthe parade because of it and proceeded to sob because pride is supposed to be happy and I am anything but that right now)
#yapping#i literally had to leave i was so upset#i know the right thing for anyone to do is stay and keep the energy up but thats just not how im built#and like you have to pay to get into the festival so if i couldnt volunteer then i cant get into the rest of the celebration#which is on god why i never bothered going before because paying to get into pride is uncalled for#man i was so excited i hope the person who chose to vandalize ours and anyone elses float d!es in a h!t and tun with no one around to help#i mean that in the rudest way possible because actually fuck you and whatever you were trying to accomplish
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I really am so sad I don't like isat. The themeing was very good
#isat critical#like the ''we must be prepared for the destruction change will bring'' shit came back so hard at the end#specifically with loop context/destroying themself to become a star. to become loop#and the fact that when siffrin deviated from the script. finally changed the way he performed his play (act 5)#that's when it broke#and he had to ''destroy'' his friends to do it. In a way. When all he knew how to do was fight/snapped#and it's like. of COURSE loop is how siffrin was able to escape. Because escaping the loop meant siffrin had to save/love themself#value their own life and not just their friend's#to realize that they couldn't do it on their own. that they needed their friends to help them out of it. they needed support#that being loved was more than saying the right thing or doing the right quest#isat is so strong structurally/thematically/plot-wise and I personally despise it comedically/character/dialogue writing-wise#and the whole game is dialogue. like isat is the most conflicting experience I've had in a while#Where I hate actually reading the dialogue and I don't like the character writing but I love thinking about it's themes. like hello#that sucks i'd rather have it just be one or the other#*aaravos voice* you must live life in the grey#Like the king and siffrin foil is my beloved. And I absolutely adore how the King's story was ended.#But I dislike siffrin as a character and I also hate most of the game's execution#like every emotional beat is made anticlimactic by the lack of subtext and the constant repetition#(literally laughed out loud at ''my house my country my HOME!'' like we said the same thing 3 times babe. the whole game is like this)#isat has a huge case of ''we wanted conflict but didn't give characters any real flaws to be able to do it''#idk. Everyone repeated over and over that they don't touch siffrin because he's uncomfortable with it. Over and over.#And yet he's still like. ''It's because Isa finds you disgusting'' Huh. Idk if we did the work for Siffrin to come to that conclusion#Like literally Isa never does anything to even imply that. All he's ever done is sing Sif's praises. makes me feel crazy#Like ''oh he views everyone else as just a character!! a pawn!'' except no he doesn't. he barely did in act 5#and even in act 5 he's horrified at how he treated odile. like. we did not commit to that. I got sad lukewarm flowey#Do not even get me started on odile's ''I think it's so cute you trapped yourself in time and went crazy because you love us''. Girl#Like no we can. We can commit. Siffrin did bad things and going crazy was bad. Odile wasn't wrong to be upset.#Like why not 'That was terrible of you to say. But I won't leave you—you still love people who make mistakes- because what else is there?'#like we got so close with the worst loop being the permanent loop. Siffrin is still loved no matter what. But idk. Felt brushed off#oh isat...you strange being...
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I have been trying to get Echo comfortable with the crate slowly. I have been trying to prepare her for me being away from the house for work during the day eventually. Unfortunately, it's not going well at all, and I am gonna have to just start crating her when I am gone for more than an hour. I can't let her keep destroying stuff. I know she is scared of being in the crate. But this is not gonna work. I do not have the ability to keep doing this slowly. Not when she does things like this. I was only gone for less than 6 hours. And it's not like she's destroying the whole house. She also doesn't do this every time I leave. It seems arbitrary. One time, she even did it when I was gone for 10 minutes, and literally right before I had left, we had gone for a run. And it's always small, inexpensive things. But the muzzle was the last straw. That's a major inconvenience for me now.
#barkin up some trees#i feel like i cannot go anywhere#like at all#i am basically trapped at home or i have to take my dog with me#and like she is mostly fine when i leave!!!!#sometimes she just picks something small to chew up and leave by the front door#i cant spend evenings with my boyfriend at his house because of thus#*this#and i feel bad because we are ALWAYS at my house#my dogs dictate literally everything#i am going to spend christmas alone for the first time this year because i have no family and my boyfriends family is out of town#so he will be away and i will be here alone because i cant take the dogs along and i have nobody to take care of them for me#i had such an awful fucking day at work today#and this just really isnt what i needed#i cant deal with this properly when i am stressed and upset#i am mad at her rn#i am really mad at her#and she knows it#shes super sensitive to my emotions#i cannot hide it from her#its also hard to hide it when i was already so over my own threshold for the day#i feel so fucking awful today#and boyfriend made a nice supper and we watched a movie and cuddled and it was so nice and i was able to relax#but then the moment i come in the door its all ruined#if it had been something else i wouldnt have been as upset#this sucks
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i think one of the most disappointing things is to see that your childhood friends have grown up to represent the kind of people you're disappointed in
#had a friendship break up w like one of my entire friend groups of six ppl?#found out that one of the girls in our friend group had sent screenshots of our private conversation about smth I was hurt over#to a gc with our other friends (but not me ofc)#and they all proceeded to talk shit about me :// I swear the way my stomach dropped when the friend I was having the convo w#sent me screenshots of what our mutual friends were saying about me#she knew how much it would hurt me but still did it just to prove a point (though I'm certain she misrepresented our conversation + my word#to them considering she blocked out what she had initially said to them lol)#my stomach hasn't dropped like that since high school#which is exactly where I thought we left this kind of deceitful behaviour. like how are you guys twenty one and still sending screenshots#and talking bad behind only one (1) friend's back when you know she can't defend herself in that space#I immediately texted our collective gc to explain a text she had sent but failed to give context for#then told them if I'm as selfish as they say I will leave this friend group. and then I left that gc#I also texted two friends who I knew were talking shit and I sent them the screenshots that first “friend” sent and pointed out how#she blocked out what she said so I'm suspicious that she skewed our conversation so they (the two other “friends”) should be wary#I told them I understood it was fair game to stoop. this low considering neither of them tried to reach out to me to hear my side#or defend me + my privacy#for context: the original argument was me voicing out that I was upset bc that first “friend” had invited and planned with with our friend#group an event that landed on my birthday without checking in with me if I was planning to spend time with them that day#and she kept defending herself and saying she didn't know I'd plan smth (probably bc my bday is two months away lmao) and she said#the event they'd be attending is just as important and necessary as being there for my birthday?? it's literally just a party her brother#(who none of us are close to lol) is DJing at. and I brought up how I'm their close friend (not her brother) and it's not fair to call#it equally necessary. but I suspect she skewed what I said greatly considering all of our friends started calling me selfish and unfair#but yeah v v crazy and hurtful and just astonishing#salmaspeaks
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pls let me back into the friend group. i was barely a part of it the first time and i won't contribute anything if you let me back in. but i wanna know why the breakup between that one couple was so bad that the entire group is falling apart
#cmon guys why weren't you guys this hung up when i had to leave bc i was softly broken up with 😞#i do think it's crazy that shit got so bad that one of them is siding w the one he's only known for a few months#over the guy he's literally been friends with since junior high???#and said guy is literally one of the few cis men i would choose to be alone with over a bear#meanwhile the other person has allegedly done some shitty stuff outside the context of the relationship?? 😭😭#the (immediate) reason for why she dumped him is somewhat similar to why i got upset w my ex#but NOW he sees the problem? 🤨🤨#both halves of the broken-up couple are accusing the other of being a manipulative asshole 💀💀#i was there when it was announced those two first got together#i'm shocked they fell apart so quickly cuz they were close friends before they got together???#i did notice one of them was hanging out more w one person wayy more than her actual bf#and i kinda just assumed she was cheating or something 😭😭#but im so out of the loop. at that point they probably would have been broken up#which is CRAZY cuz that means their relationship was wayyy shorter than i thought 😭😭#i don't have anyone to yap to about this so long-winded tumblr tags it is
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opening the group chat for the first time today and there's like 200 new messages because everyone's Going Through It today it seems but one of my friends dropped 'I'm separating from [terrible boyfriend she's been living with for like eight years] for real this time, I just moved a bunch of stuff to my parents' and I'm losing my mind because y'all the subject changed almost immediately HEY HI EVERYBODY ELSE SHUT THE FUCK UP I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT???
#'I moved my stuff and my dog' can't leave the pup behind! 'I had to last winter and it was a big reason I wound up going back' HELLO--#was he holding your fucking dog over your head. I will kill the man?????#I DIDN'T KNOW SHE'S TRIED TO LEAVE HIM BEFORE??#I'm-- so-- okay listen. admittedly I am of course simply nosy. of course I am.#but also I have never liked david Ever. justin and I were LITERALLY talking DAYS ago about Worrying About Her being stuck with him#because she moved TO CALIFORNIA with him and he was being a piece of shit then and she had NOBODY out there#and now they're in denver and like. it's his house it's his money etc etc it's a really... logistically difficult situation#but at least she's made some friends in denver and convinced her parents to move out there so she's not COMPLETELY unsupported#like she was in CA#my point is: I'm nosey but I'm also INVESTED. I fucking hate this guy darling I've wanted you to leave him this entire goddamn time#she's talked *a little* about problems with him before but also we've been around him before and he's just generally awful#and it's. like. I'm so so so fucking glad you're moving in with your parents but also. genuinely are you OKAY--#MAN AND ALSO. EVEN IF IT WASN'T 'I HATE THIS GUY AND I'M WORRIED ABOUT WHAT THE BREAKING POINT WAS--'#THIS IS A SERIOUS LONGTERM RELATIONSHIP? IT ENDING IS A BIG DEAL REGARDLESS?? WHY DID WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT SO FAST HELLO#.... actually I've identified the source of my Wanting More Details#which is: hey babe are you in a phase of this where hearing about how much he fucking sucks shit would be upsetting or affirming.#because I wanna tell you how fucking happy I am that you're leaving him. because he's a piece of shit and you deserve better than that.#ARE YOU IN AN EMOTIONAL SPACE TO HEAR ABOUT HOW I AM SCOOPING YOU INTO MY ARMS LIKE THE CAT SAMURAI MEME.#AND THREATENING THIS MAN WITH A SWORD. BECAUSE HE'S TERRIBLE. CAN I GET A VIBE CHECK THERE. SHOULD I WAIT--
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Ugh. I had a really bad day.
#chat sesh with iris#vent in the tags#had to get a super personal reminder of someone who I used to know who left me YEARS AGO but it still upsets me to hear her name and I#literally saw HER MOM who proceeded to talk a bunch about what she’s been doing#tw suicide mention#tw suicidal ideation#in the tags lol#so warning that it’s in the next tag#like I think about killing myself whenever I have a passing thought about her so this was too much#I’m not going to do it I’m physically safe 👍👍👍 but like#even despite all of the shitty things that happened I was still having a pretty good week because like. people have been really nice to me.#and I’ve been having a little fun#but this is way too far to excuse like practically no matter what else happened or happens 😭😭😭#like hearing how much better her life is than mine#I literally had to physically leave the situation#like she had finally after YEARS(!!!) gotten mostly off of my mind#but not anymore#the heaviest sigh ever#anyway I would apologize for venting but like this is my blog 👍👍👍#I don’t really have anywhere else to talk about it#like even the people who I consider my best friends did not care or respond or ask questions when I mentioned that I was having like a-#breakdown in public#other than one#shoutouts#and I’m probably going to sleep really soon so maybe I’ll wake up and think this is too personal and delete it#like if I’m only posting because of how tired I was#or who knows maybe my thoughts will keep me awake for hours#I still have nightmares about her#BLUE AND DAWN AND HOP AND ARVEN AND GREEN SAVE ME!!!!!
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Learning about the Yunmeng Shuangjie and the Nieyao drama through Wei Wuxian's and Nie Mingjue's points of view.
#'AITA for avoiding my brother like the plague after being back from the dead after learning he's been looking for me this whole time#And denying him an explanation about how & why I accidentally killed our BIL & started a massacre that resulted in our sister's death#And orphaned our nephew. And talking back to him and telling him off instead of even looking slightly apologetic#when he berates me for telling our nephew whom I accidentally orphaned he lacks maternal education?#And then without even saying so much as a hi to my brother when entering his home bringing a stranger#(that I've been spending all my time with instead of going home and giving an explanation to the brother that has suffered so much bc of me#Bc it was the easier thing to do)#To his ancestral shrine and then teaming up with my boyfriend to beat him up in his own ancestral shrine when he gets upset?#And then telling him that all I did for him (& kept from him) was bc I owed his family and then leaving him behind bleeding#metaphorically & literally (both bc of me) and not even asking him how he is before running to fuck in the bushes with my boyfriend?#*sigh* I thought Jiang Cheng would always be on my side and Lan Wangji opposite us.'#'AITA for making numerous attempts on the life of my marginalized sworn brother and ex-subordinate who has risked his life saving mine#& kicking him down the stairs & offending his mother & going to kill him again#after I told him why he won't just kill himself for the betterment of the world after he refused#To risk his life & safety doing something he had no authority to do after he tried to explain his situation to me?'#mdzs#cql#the untamed#mo dao zu shi#chen qing ling#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#wei wuxian#wei ying#jiang cheng#yunmeng shuangjie#jiang wanyin#yunmeng bros#twin heroes of yunmeng
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I wonder how different my feelings on Drew would be if there wasn’t that freaking spare laptop scene
#PAINN. THAT SCENE PUT ME IN SO MUCH PAIN FOR DREW. AND THEN IT ALL GETS RESOLVED ANYWAYS SO NO ONE KNOWS EXCEPT JAKE LIKE HHHH#I mean I ALREADY felt bad for him BEFORE that. it started when we find out his girlfriend is cheating on him. but we didn’t know the#characters as well back then so I was just like ‘dang that’s crazy’. then I started seeing him get more upset about Jake leaving and started#to feel more sympathetic towards him I was like ‘this guys GF is cheating on him and his best friend won’t hang out with him anymore’#AND THE SPARE LAPTOP SCENE MADE ME SNAP I WAS LIKE 😭 DREW NOOOO#MY BIGGEST QUESTION DID JAKE GHOST HIM? DID HE SAY ‘sorry grounded from that too’ OR JUST GHOST HIM?????#I love Drew so much. Guy who doesn’t know how to express his feelings fr. I’m satisfied with his drake up speech.#is it painful to see him say all that stuff? yes. DID JAKE KINDA DESERVE IT THO. not entirely but it’s PRETTY UNDERSTANDABLE that Drew would#snap at him. HE LITERALLY KNEW HIS GF WAS CHEATING ON HIM FOR MONTHS AND NEVER TOLD HIM UNTIL HE WANTED DREW TO SUFFER.#wait I should stop rambling about Drew (I could make a whole post about him) what was the post about again. THE SPARE LAPTOP SCENE.#yeah I’m just wondering like I PROBABLY would still sympathize with Drew without that scene but OHHH MY GOD that scene HURT ME SO BAD. I had#to pause and tell my sister how much PAIN I was in from watching this freaking GACHA SERIES#the music freaks
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Still can’t wrap my head around how Izzy shooting Ed was supposed to symbolize him “breaking up with Blackbeard” and have them go through that whole thing at the beginning of the season, to have Izzy be the one who tells Ed to follow what makes him happy, and have Izzy’s whole arc be about who he is without Blackbeard just for the finale to turn around and say that Izzy had to die because he was half of Blackbeard and that Ed couldn’t fully let go of Blackbeard otherwise.
#by all accounts it doesn't make sense#Izzy stopped caring about Blackbeard when he stopped following Ed’s orders and started going with the crew#when he told Ed he wouldn’t kill him#he had his figurative death when he tried to shoot himself and Blackbeard had his literal death when the crew killed him#when he’s fucking doing his whole speech saying that piracy isn’t about glory or fame it’s about the community it’s about the crew#the fact that they said that they just didn’t know what else to do with Izzy’s arc so dying was the best conclusion is INSANE to me#like im so hung up on this#blackbeard WAS us#YEAH WAS#dont get me started on how izzy used his fk dying breath to take the blame for everything just protecting others til the very end uh#izzy hands#him telling ed that the crew loves him and then he just....leaves#bitch the crew LOVED YOU#the whole “blackbeard was us i needed him” does gut me a little bit tho ngl like oof can yall stop being tragic for 2secs 😔#anywayyyyy sorry if im being rly negative i dont want to be truly im just upset#it’s like I understand what they were going for but when you put it next to everything that’s happened it’s like ….idk#“izzy keeps the story of Blackbeard alive by being alive!!” and ed doesnt ???#hes literally the face of Blackbeard#so he gets to change and grow and become something else and live as that but izzy cant?#you cannot kill a whole by just getting rid of half#izzy was moving past Blackbeard i just what the fuck is UP#“its cause ed is the mc and izzy is just the side character there to be a device for his growth”#ok well then dont have that characters whole motivation be about actualizing himself as his own person for a whole season#ofmd critical#ofmd
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i just have one more thing to say about him before i go to sleep, and that's this: i've been thinking about making blamore an herbalist that's partially self-taught + also had asked someone to also teach him about it and i think i'm going to do it. because i think it would really fit for his character, since blamore would likely do it as a way to try to find out ways to ease its own pain (particularly his nerve pain) at first. but... all i can imagine now is blamore stumbling across someone's muse in the event that they are friends and them being injured / in pain.
and as a result, it would want to try to help alleviate them of their suffering; so if they had burns and/or cuts, then he'd rub a herbal salve into their skin where it was affected to help treat them. and maybeee he'd give them a bath or something in yarrow if they had a fever because it has been shown to have REALLY good anti-pyretic (anti-fever) abilities. so i basically just imagined it trying to nurse them back to health at least a little bit, and i 😭 i'm putting this on my wishlist on here now because this is just too damn sweet albeit in an angsty way to not do so. but of course, if they were like on death's door or something, then it would definitely just be using some of these herbal cures in the meantime until he could get an medical doctor out there like nico to help them. but it's the thought that counts in the end
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#yeah so in other words... if your muse is one of blamore's friends then it is going to take care of them alright 😭 though i feel as if him-#using yarrow to lower someone's fever would depend on whether or not he actually had anti-pyretic meds in his greenhouse at the time-#because if it did then blamore would likely just tell them to take some of that since it IS generally easier buttt. Yeah he is absolutely-#the kind of friend to volunteer to watch over them if they're scared as well bc they're really hurt and hold their hand to comfort them-#since it knows that physical touch can be SUCH a reassurance in situations like these as it helped him a lot in particular whenever he-#got shot before it's transformation as he was VERY upset as y'all may be able to imagine because the man's father had just died in front of#them and it didn't want to leave sacha's side even though it was literally bleeding very badly like ;; OMG and i say that touch helped-#him in this situation because it took someone gently patting its back and rubbing circles into it to comfort him to even THINK about lettin#go of his father. so yeahhh i know that's pretty sad BUT it really did not take sacha's death well and understandably so#tw: illness.#tw: injury.#tw: mentions of death.#wishlist.
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Omg, not me thinking about "The bounty" again. The more I think about the episode, the more I realize how much of a MESS it is. For both Killbot 86 and Commander peeper. Especially for commander peepers since everyone always thinks "the bounty" is good for him cause it foreshadowed/reveal peeper to be badass, when in reality, it is not. Yeah, it did- but only temporarily before they made peeper cry over lord hater and exaggerated how much of a whiny crybaby he is.
Like honestly, remember how in "The prisoner" or something, Peeper managed to easily trick Wander into the ship? Yeah, he didn't capture him, but it wasn't hard to manipulate him inside the skullship, right? And I believe that episode came BEFORE the bounty so It wasn't hard to do that job of simply luring in wander into the ship. So like- Why was that so difficult of him to do?? And remember that line lord hater said?
"You can't seem to do the one thing I continually asked of you"
Noticed how lord hater mentioned he "continually" asked peeper to capture him? So he failed multiple times to get wander in despite how easy it was to manipulate him the first time. So HOW DID HE NOT SIMPLY DO THAT AGAIN??? You can argue that stuff happened off screen and there's a time skip for sure, but like- this is Commander peeper we're talking about. Isn't he supposed to be the "smartest" person? Y'know, to think of a plan instead of playing cat and mouse chase? Anyway, Peeper had his chances multiple times in a row until Hater had enough and straight up called in the bounty hunter cause he was so incompetent at doing his job.
And this is where I start to have issues. literally the first thing we see is Peeper whining to lord hater about what he's doing wrong instead accepting the facts he knew he screwed up and tried to apologize to lord hater for his failure before trying to convince him to give him another chance. Anyway, he proceeds to abuse his soldier, basically lashing out on other, and just- my god he fuckin suck holy shit. I get that the point but like- it made me question why I was into him to begin with.
So like yadda yadda, stuff happened. Sabotaging the bounty hunters. And my poor sweet, dearly beloved badass of robot man I love- I cannot go into details about how much I wanted to cry over him. Like genuinely speaking. I love him so much and realizing how horribly they mistreated him- holy fuck I'll never forgive this show. Fuck this show man- I already mentioned about what they done to him, but they literally robbed him. If given the chance, he would've been important. Especially since it was shown that he was actually crucial to Sylvia and peeper's parallel and the flashback as well. If Sylvia lost that fight, wander would've possibly ended up with killbot 85. I'm so pissed off that they shafted him like this. HE LITERALLY HAS THE MOST ERROR IN HIS DESIGN OUT OF EVERYONE AND THIS IS HIS FIRST INTRODUCTION- HOW DO YOU SCREW HIM UP LIKE THIS⁉️‼️⁉️
So yeah, anyway, my sweet robot got his shit kicked in by Peeper and near the end. Lord hater called him out on his shit and peeper admitted he screwed up. But then you see that fuckin peeper- HE LITERALLY DROPPED ONTO THE FLOOR AND START CRYING LIKE A BABY- i know that peeper is just a "pathetic little meow meow" but like- you gonna at least side eye at this part cause like wtf? Jesus Christ, they exaggerated the worst part of peeper's character here and genuinely I start to think that I kinda regret being into him in the first place?? Literally The Axe does a better job of displaying peeper competently and didn't make him into a full on crybaby.
So sorry for rumbling on about this, all of this come from the fact that I genuinely love killbot 86 so much that if anything bad were to happen to him, I'll cry. Or at least I wanna cry for him. And knowing how everyone seems to think this is a good peeper episode with the knowledge how messy it is, it just- idk. It really is not?? So sorry for the long rant. If you got this far, thank you for reading. Maybe you can argue with me but I'll be honest when I say that I have the tendency to overwhelm myself with bad thoughts and act out on emotion. This episode just made me so upset that maybe, just maybe killbot 86 would've been liked by the whole community instead of being so unpopular. I tried my best to get him noticed and put all my effort & love into him after YEARS of having nothing. It's not fair for him. It's not fuckin fair.
#chewys notes#killbot 86#woy#wander over yonder#just random ramblings#so sorry for that last vent i wrote down#Genuinely went off there for a moment#Please just understand that Killbot 86 never had the chance to shine because of shit he went through#That evil karaoke thing was the one thing that gave him the chance to have more line and such#Literally please let him have something#it not fair for him#Also so sorry for anyone who into Commander Peeper and got a bit upset reading this#Idk im just frustrated#Do you understand why i wanna take him away and leave the show and the fandom?#Like holy shit??#commander peepers
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GUYS IM TOO AUTISM FOR THIS WORLD
#IT TURNS OUT THAT BEING VISIBLY UPSET WHEN PEOPLE GET HOME MAKES THEM UPSET#AND TRYING TO BE THOUGHTFUL BY ASKING MY MOM WHEN SHED LEAVE WHEN WE PLAY AA COMES ACROSS AS RUDE#AND KLESEK HAD TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME#AND I FELT SO BAD I LITERALLY STARTED UGLY CRYING INTO PIKACHU HECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE SOFT AROUND
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#man one of the worst things about having complex mental health issues#as in: very severe and pervasive#is the way you get physical chronic illnesses from them#like i had a breakdown on sunday night just gone due a trauma anniversary#and now that my mind has take its foot off the gas and i’ve come out of that high stress period#my body has just collapsed#and i know this happens to other people with other things ofc#but anyone with BPD/CPTSD/PTSD etc etc can attest to how fucking CONSTANT these illnesses are#the fatigue! the mind fog! the headaches and the nausea and the sore eyes (????) and the aches and pains#it is SO weird and so fucking upsetting that it just triggers another episode#and people say ‘are you sure its not just a regular cold?’ when i live in a tiny apartment with my partner who#when i *actually* get a cold#also gets that cold#and low and behold when i have an episode and then get sick?#they don’t have it#no one around me is ill#just me#and it’s so tiring! stop! leave me alone! i hate this!#fun fact:#people with BPD have significantly more chance of having chronic physical illness because of the extreme toll that BPD takes on the body#you literally experience things SO intensely mentally that it hurts you physically#(not exclusive to bpd but you understand my point)#we have a life expectancy that’s reduced by like 20 years too#i love it here everyone say thank you mum and dad#oh and the leading cause of death is suicide LMAO that’s crazy#i think it’s 1 in 10?#the mean life expectancy is actually 27!
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That was an eventful two days
#I had a better time at the Waterparks concert#Noah was great#buuuut#I was on the barricade#I had my cousin hold onto my spot while I grabbed some merch and he didn’t hold onto the barricade so when I got back there were like three#rows of people in front of me#tall people too#and I got a ticket for my friend who wound not being able to go#and my brother who took us didn’t wanna go so I completely wasted $25 on a ticket#and it just Sucks that I spent so much money on ticket and got there super early just to be shoved way back when I LITERALLY had the front#there was this rude entitled lady who made everyone move for her son#he only knew tx2 but stayed up front the whole time#(she also took a spot right on the barricade too)#I was just really upset about how it didn’t go according to my plan and I kind of had a panic attack. like. a really fucking long one#and I had my vip bag + merch with me and everyone was stepping on it (no one was even playing?) and they fucked up my poster#but yeah I pretty much had a 2 hour long panic attack my ribs hurt now from hyperventilating (leaving the pit wouldn’t have helped)#the vip part was still good#I met Noah again he remembered me he did great it was just the people around me#oh I also like fucked up my knee#but that’s cause two concerts in a row hurt I think someone kinda accidentally kicked in a mosh pit and the first venue the ground had a#slight tilt to it. so it was kinda uncomfortable after a few hours#Waterparks#noahfinnce#concert#tx2#music
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griffin loves nature in general, plants and animals, after meeting finney he has taken a liking for astronomy too
sweet summer curious child who loves learning
He is a very smart boy who soaks up knowledge like a sponge, and it’s almost intimidating for a lot of his peers
But to Griffin it’s an achievement, that he can remember so much stuff about plants, animals, and now space!
Additional star gazing Finn and Griff content!!!
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#pippi art#the black phone fandom#the black phone#finney blake fanart#tbp griffin fanart#griffin stagg fanart#tbp finney fanart#necromancer finney au#Griffin Blake#I’m making that a tag because he’s a Blake now#hc that griffin had a photographic memory and was so frustrated and upset when he started loosing his memory when he died#his memory is kinda shitty post revival but he copes with writing it down#never leaving his book for any reason whatsoever#I love griffin he’s literally babey#my favorite character ever#btw thank you for sending this in btw!!!
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