#sent me screenshots of what our mutual friends were saying about me

[bloomingsalma]

i think one of the most disappointing things is to see that your childhood friends have grown up to represent the kind of people you're disappointed in

[andivmg]

is it bad i wish people would give examples of how dream is “manipulative”?? because the examples I am seeing right now are just him over explaining himself

tw/ drama, sa mention

i can give you one example but you have to bear with me here, it’s kind of hard to explain through text and i can’t give full context because it would drag other people into it and i don’t want to be messy.

edit: i added a division here bc i don’t want to see all that when scrolling through my blog lol

the following screenshots are taken from a conversation we had in july 2023, where he messaged me after 7 months of no contact and basically tried to make me apologize to him after he ghosted me. i have since blocked him and deleted his number (i had to dig through my friends’ group chat to find these screenshots). the conversation was extremely long and if i wanted to dissect it fully i’d have to make an hour long video on it and and tbh, i don’t care that much so this is what we’re working with.

for at least some context: the “she” being referenced is a former mutual friend who informed me that he had a gf the whole time we were talking (i have since learned that might not have been true but with him who tf knows). The name blocked out is her boyfriend, who is his friend. and the block of text covered is just him yapping and name dropping too many people. also i guess to give him some grace, he had just gotten surgery and told me he was high off pain meds, which is why he was messaging me.

here we go

“your memory is wrong”

this is referencing the day i was told he had a girlfriend. that day, the girl and i went to get our nails done and during that time, she informed me of the situation. as you can see in the message, i had texted him saying that we had those plans that day. he never replied to it. like seriously, that was the last message i ever sent him before blocking him a few weeks later. so, in this context, him saying my “memory is wrong” is textbook gaslighting.

“i swiped to look at to give you the chance to bump it, which you never did.”

now… huh?????? tbh i’m still confused about this bc he’s basically admitting that he didn’t reply to my message after saying that he didn’t ignore me. so, contradicting himself there and making it seem like it was my fault that he didn’t respond.

“you can unblock me on snap”

as we know, he has a history of having conversations with girls and other people exclusively through snapchat in order for him to say whatever he wants because the messages disappear. i guess he had a point there bc here we are. you could see this in his favor, but i see it as a way for him to avoid any accountability whatsoever for the shit he says. he was trying to move the conversation over to snapchat, i guess to avoid exactly what is happening now: evidence of him being a slimy little shit.

“I was the only one actively trying to keep you in the friend group despite even backlash from others for it”

now this one just pissed me off at the time. after getting out of an abusive relationship (which all of our friends knew about btw) everyone continued to hang out with my ex instead of me because: a) clout and b) they had been friends with him longer. here, he tried to make it seem like he was doing me this huge favor by still talking to me and “keeping me in the group” (which he didn’t btw). now, at this point he already knew about my sa, he knew about all the shit that happened in the relationship, and he still wanted me to be in a friend group with the man who put me through all of that, his other friends, who made super weird sexual comments about me on multiple occasions, and other people who enabled all that shit. then, he tried to make it seem like he was doing me a favor. insane and manipulative.

i hope this helped, anon. i kinda had to relive some shit in order to provide this for you but i think it’s the only example i could give from my situation in which he was being manipulative. i think these are pretty good examples and i hope it wasn’t too confusing without all the context.

[the-thing-of-worms]

EVERYONE SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!

Check this out this is the greatest entertainment in history

So, here's how it started:

This anon sent me an ask telling me my good friend @annotated-catastrophe was homophobic and racist, and that I should block her. You can see how I responded, wanting proof. This is the next ask I get:

These are some pretty bold claims you know! I asked for proof in DMs, and, excitingly enough, they came into my DMs with a burner account!!

I don't have many screenshots for this next parts, but me and @/redracecars start talking. They're still making a ton of really bold claims, saying Catastrophe is homophobic and "doesn't care about mental illnesses" but this really isn't enough to alter my opinion, kids, never believe someone you don't know just off of their word, even someone you do know shouldn't be trusted just off their word, that's why I asked dear redracecars to provide me evidence! A screenshot of a conversation, it's all I needed really, I even told them I would post the screenshot to show all my friends, and I'm sticking true to my word! I hope you see this from your main redracecar, I'm keeping my word.

Here's what they sent me after about 30 (?) minutes of waiting.

Annotated Catastrophe, under the side blog "Blueracecars" (where have we heard that name before??? 🤔🤔🤔) sent a ton of messages to our poor Redracecars.

One issue though, these were sent TODAY October 24th, 2024. AND WAIT- GASP - THESE MESSAGES WERE SENT AFTER I RECIEVED THE SECOND OF THE TWO ASKS??? SAY WHAT?? HAS ANNOTATED CATASTROPHE FINALLY MASTERED TIME TRAVEL?? ARE WE DOOMED WITH THE DREADED ANNOTATED CATASTROPHE AS OUR IMMORTAL TIME LORD??

Oh, wait,

Redracecars? Buddy? Did you not see that your messages with Blueracecars were timed to today, after when you first sent me an ask? Are you.... GASP??? A FAKER??? NO IT COULDNT BE!! REDRACECARS HOW COULD YOU!!! *Sobs and faints like a Victorian*

Hold on, hold on, let me see what blue race cars has on their blog, knowing Annotated catastrophe as I do she'll definitely have a lot of writing posts on this side blog... Huh... Wait

THESE ARE THE ONLY TWO POSTS ON THE BLOG? ANNOTATED CATASTROPHE WOULD NEVER! AND WAIT- SHE'D NEVER TALK WITH CURSE WORDS, SHE HATES SWEARING!! Redracecars you didn't even do a good job of disguising yourself! This is awful buddy, real embarrassing too, it really is .... It really sucks though because I started to realize what you were doing, trying to make a transgender person believe that one of their friends is a terf, trying to convince me she's racist, homophobic, transphobic.... Buddy are YOU a transphobe?? You blocked me before I could ask this but, Why are you so dead set on convincing me, a trans man, that my friend secretly hates me?? That's incredibly mean of you. The only thing in your heart, redracecars (or should I say purpleracecars since your red AND blue?) is malice. You only want to make people unhappy, is it because you're unhappy buddy? I'm sorry if that's the case but leave other people out of it, go touch grass, or better yet, go talk to a therapist about whatever you got going on. Your behavior IS NOT NORMAL!!!

And rest assured I'm sending this to my mutuals so they all know that there's some troll running about and trying to hurt people, because that's what you're doing, you're hurting people and I just KNOW you live for it. Go get a better life bro.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting upset that someone "system-claimed" me?

I have a friend, let's call them Cory, and Cory is a system. I don't care about that. We don't talk a lot, but we play the same games and end up playing together every now and again. This is important because this is the majority of my interaction with Cory, and as deep as our relationship gets. We also share a discord server (made by a mutual Friend) and in that server there is a vent channel. I don't usually use those because I don't wanna air out my business to everyone, but the other day I sent in a message talking about how I had been feeling off for a week or so, and the words I used were that I "felt like my body wasn't my own". That was that, when I was done crying and feeling bad for myself I actually deleted the message because I got embarrassed. Next morning I get a dm from Cory with a screenshot of the message. Cory says this sounds like osdd and that I'm a system. Not "could" or "might" be, they say with certainty that I am.

I obviously get a little weirded out, ask them why they would say something like that and tell them I'm definitely not a system. They insist. I get ticked off and tell them to leave me alone.

Apparently they ran off to tell the others in the server, and now everyone's calling me ableist and saying I'm awful and that I made their trauma-holder (? is that what it's called) front.

Now obviously I don't know a lot about system stuff, and I feel bad if I caused them distress, but in my mind it's not right to just start diagnosing people with life-changing disorders that stem from trauma? Especially people you don't know?

Also my "symptom" was just depression. That's it. Plain old depression that I go to therapy for.

The people on the server put me in time-out until "Cory feels safe with me in there" but I want to hear an outside opinion. Am I the asshole?

I'm the Cory/System Claiming-aita anon, I forgot to add: I'm 16 and Cory is 14!

What are these acronyms?

[cottoncandyswisherz]

i told yall the bitch was weird as the fuck. i stay being right.

anyways, peaches encouraged me to tell yall my side so here we go. (im not using no ones real names so iykyk) also the screenshots are gonna be on this.

last month, selenascorner asked me in my inbox if she could message me (as anon). i didnt know who she was so i said of course. she dm's me and told me she was friends with a friend of mine. (im not finna put her in this)

so me and her talked for like 10 mins and she seemed chill. my tumblr dms was acting dumb so i sent her my ig and we started talking there.

she asked me what i was doing and how my day was going and i cant remember what i told her but she told me that her ex gf was showing up at her house. i wasnt really triping on that because im an oversharer so i told her to call the police. and she said no. which threw me tf off but i was like "she right fuck 12" but then she said she wouldnt call the police because her and the girl were still friends.

and THEN she told me why her and the girl broke up and i was thrown off again. (this is all within 20 mins of speaking to her for the first time.)

so we talked about that a little and she asks me if our mutual friend was texting me back. i said no. she said that the mutual friend was always disappearing on her and i told her that our they were going through alot rn and to just give them time but she could talk to me IF she needed to.

so she told me some shit that the AVERAGE person wouldnt tell a person within 45 mins of knowing them. (this is coming from a chronic oversharer. )

so im doing the best i can to help her. im giving her some dr. phil ass advice and shes saying no to all of it. shutting it down and continuing to trauma dump on me about her family and her health.

and i felt bad. but at the same time, if she wasnt gonna do what she had to do to get better then i couldnt have her in my life. i have my own shit going on. and yall can call me selfish but im allowed to be.

anyways. i blocked her. and she ran to our mutual friend as if they was gon whoop my ass or sum. and she told them her victim complex ass version of what happened, which made my friend come to me. and i told my friend that i stand on what i did. the next day, my friend told me that selenascorner kept bothering them about me so i unblocked her and we talked. from there i knew what type of time she was on so i left it at that.

the rest of the shit ik about selenascorner has nothing to do with me so im gonna keep it to myself and give my friend the choice to speak about it.

heres the ss. (i drew over the names and shit due to privacy but yeah)

after i unblocked her.

my friend and i's convo

[tea-and-secrets]

A few weeks ago, there was this guy on discord who I was friends with for about two months, and we were pretty close. We’ll call him William for this. He read my fanfics, I listened to the music he made, etc. One thing you need to know for context? He vented. A LOT. Which isn’t a problem in itself, but in this situation…

Anyways, we both decided we were questioning if we liked the other, and we were gonna be honest while figuring this stuff out. At which point, he would dm me almost NONSTOP throughout the course of the day. I couldn’t always respond, of course, which made me feel bad. He was usually sweet about it. But the amount of times he messaged me (we’re talking 100-200 DMs a day, even when I wasn’t responding, and most of those were vents), it was stressing me out a LOT. I have really bad anxiety, and I had other things going on my life at that point. So in a mutual server, I made a ping to my friends (including him) that I was going to be offline for a day or two due to mental health reasons. The majority of my friends were really sweet and understanding, told me to take my time. But William just spammed me more.

He accused me of not pinging him about the situation but pinging everyone else (which, I made sure he was included in the role I was pinging; if he wasn’t, I didn’t know, but he shouldn’t have gotten angry so fast), and he was really mad. He continued to constantly vent about our relationship, still messaging 100-200+ times a day, even though I said I was on break. Eventually he asked if I wanted him to ignore me, to which I finally responded with a “no”. I learned later that he was really asking me if I wanted him to give me space, AND the reason he kept spamming me is because he thought that, because we were considering dating, I’d still respond to him, even if I wasn’t to other people. Which is fair, I guess. But… 100-200 messages or more, every day, most of which are vents when I’ve already said I’m going on a break because of a depressive episode…?

And THEN. After I had come back from my break, I told William that I was so sorry but I didn’t think I could handle an online romantic relationship with him. I told him I was going to go offline for a few minutes after saying that because I was a coward (I literally said THAT; keep in mind, I’ve never been in a relationship before. I know what I did probably wasn’t the best way to handle that, but… He’d been saying some things that were kind of obsessive while I was on break.) When I came back, he’d completely flipped out, said some things that sounded downright obsessive, and I didn’t respond because he was scaring me, and then said he was going to (tw) unalive himself if I didn’t respond.

At that point, I’d also checked his messages on a mutual server, where he’d been talking with one of my friends who I’d introduced him to a week or two ago. We’ll call this friend Stella. Stella messaged me and sent me some screenshots of what had happened between them and William after I left… and here’s where I learned who he really was. He called them some nasty things (some slurs), accused them of turning me against him, and later said he’d done it just because he knew it would cross my boundaries to insult one of my closest friends. So, of course… I sent one last message to him, telling him to call the su!c!de hotline and that I was so sorry, and blocked him.

Aaand then the online friends I had who he also sent crappy things to made a spam account and talked with him like a friend- there’s more to the story but this is already WAY too long and I have no idea how to use Tumblr TvT

.

[atranswomansdiary]

Day 126

October 9, 2020

“It is the end of all hope To lose the child, the faith To end all the innocence To be someone like me”

I… I don’t really know how to start this or even how to write about it. It’s… Everything is just so awful right now and, in a way, maybe I shouldn’t even be writing this, but I feel like if I don’t put down in words what happened this week I’m going to make one of those decisions with no return, one of those that you can’t take back once they're done.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? On Monday morning, tired and bored as I usually am when starting a new workweek, I looked at my WhatsApp and decided to delete some groups that we were no longer using. They were mostly coordination groups and, since the reason I created them are no longer was valid, I felt like deleting them was the right thing to do.

I know, I know. I can almost hear you saying, “No, you didn’t!” And you’re right. They weren’t occupying space or bothering me in any way… Except that they were there any time I opened the freaking app, reminding me of those painful things that I don’t want to think about right now, like the fact that J.N. and I are no longer friends, that most of the spaces and activities we shared together are now gone, and that there’s no turning back when it comes to our friendship.

And I think that gets to the bottom of the thing, the real reason why I decided to delete those WhatsApp groups. To help me close the wound and start the healing. And so I did.

And that’s where the shitstorm began.

Hours later, I.C. (a mutual friend of both J.N. and I) contacted me and told me that she had started a cancellation campaign against me. And to clear any doubts about it, she sent me some screenshots.

To say that those words and pictures froze me in place would be the understatement of the century. This had never happened in my life before, but I just lost all sense of reality for a little bit. I was at a meeting with my boss and I just couldn’t hear his words. For a moment, I felt like the only thing I wanted to do was to disappear, to dissolve right into the groind. To stop existing. I hadn’t felt this way since the day I tried to kill myself (and failed, obviously) almost 10 years ago.

Luckily for me, the meeting ended earlier and I got to walk across the company, from one building to another through the parking lot, under a warm midday sun. It wasn't strong enough, though, because I was shivering all the way through.

Once I got home, after work, I sat down and decided to say my piece. After all, J.N.’s poor opinion of myself was an isolated case, wasn’t it?

Oh, dear. I couldn’t have been more purposefully wrong if I had been trying to miss the mark.

One other person I considered close to me (not a friend per se, but someone that had expressed admiration and at least “good vibes”—as the youngsters say—towards me) not only supported J.N.'s accusations, but she seemingly had an axe to grind with me about something we never talked about, and made use of a public forum to do so instead of discussing it with me in private! I... I just had—and still don't have—any words

I was horrified and questioning all my life choices in the past few years at this point, so I did the only thing that I thought could bring me some kind of peace. I wrote to M.C. to ask her if she had heard about the whole debacle. And here I must confess that I was fishing for some reaffirmation and comfort. After all—and I think I’ve said this before—I think she's probably my closest friend. And you want to know what happened? She didn’t write back. Not a word or reaction or phone call. Fucking NOTHING. Zilch. Nada.

And that was my Monday.

Tuesday was a dead day. I went and came back from work and slept the rest of the day and night (thanks, sleeping pills!). I ocassionally checked to see if M.C. had said anything. Nope. Nothing. I started fearing the worst.

Then Wednesday came and she finally replied.

Her answer (as I should’ve expected by this point) was the most disappointing of all the dissapointing shit that I forcefully found out this week. She basically sided with J.N. (and the other person) and, as a result, I lost two of the people I’ve loved the most in the past few years in the span of three days.

And, if that weren’t enough—and considering this whole disaster—I just had to leave all the public spaces we shared. And I fucking loved being there! But I had to leave! I had no options. How could I have stayed there, knowing that not one but two people, whose opinion I deeply appreciated, thought of me (in short, that I was—am?—the worst of the worst, everything I’ve stood up against for most of my life)? There was no fucking away I could’ve stayed there and remain whole.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with my dad once, perhaps the first time I asked him for advice in my life. I was 23 at the time, and I had just finished one of the most important relationships of my life (with V.M., which I believe I’ve written extensively about in other versions of you and in other places as well) and, to make matters worse, N.G.—who was probably my best friend at the time—told me, two weeks after V.M. and I had finished our relationship of almost four fucking years, that he was in love with her, and that he was going to pursue her now that our romantic relationship was officially over.

Talk about a fucking disaster.

We were sitting in a shitty fast food restaurant (those with ugly plastic chairs who are uncomfortable as fuck) and he and I were discussing whether we would remain friends going forward. And I’m so stupid (or I was so shocked by the revelation) that I just said “Yes” and I smiled all my way through that most awkward conversation I've ever had, trying to be encouraging as my best friend was about to romantically pursue who I thought, at the time, was the love of my live.

When I got home, however, I felt the uneasiness overcoming me… And I just didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t feel like I could ask my other friends (like J.C. or A.P.) their opinions because, in my estimation, both of them liked N.G. well enough to side with him and his “Why can’t we be friends?” bullshit. So I consulted the only person that I thought had my best interests in mind and could counsel me properly about this situation.

And you know what? My dad delivered. He told me very clearly (and without much floriture, as far as I can remember) that I had two paths ahead of me. If I chose to remain friends with N.G., I would have someone by my side who was clearly not as much of a friend as I thought he was and, in exchange, I would lose all my dignity and self-respect. And, on the other path, I had to withstand the pain of losing both my best friend and the love of my life then, but I got the rest of my life to recover and find better friends—and maybe another love of my life.

It wasn’t much of a choice, but I thought (and still think) it was sound advice, so I took it.

So that’s how I came to decide, once again, to cut ties with the people I love—and thought loved me back—with the faintest idea of surviving this, somehow. In the middle of a pandemic. On the brink of making the biggest decision of my life.

And that was my Thursday, one of saying “goodbye” with a broken heart to places I loved (and helped to build) and others I had a great desire to be a part of.

So, today is Friday and I have only one question on my mind: who the fuck has got time to think about transitioning under the current circumstances?

As a matter of fact, I do.

Because even through all of this shit, at the bottom of this pit I didn’t know I could fall so far into, there’s only one thing sustaining me and giving me life. And it isn’t the prospect of my family lending me their support through all of this, or whatever friends I have left telling me I’m not that person they’re saying I am, no.

It’s the dream of maybe one day transitioning and being myself.

“This is the birth of all hope To have what I once had This life unforgiven It will end with birth”

Until then, with love,

ZZ

[foreverinthepagesofhistory]

Hello everyone. I’m sorry that this had to come down to me making a post about this terrible subject. I’m here today to address the cyber bullying that has befallen the royal fandom. Me and @abigaaal and @katjaa (deactivated) have been notoriously harassed by @krasivaa and @goofie-light.

First let me explain about @krasivaa, or as she’s more commonly known, Divna. It first started as a friendship between me, @katjaa and Divna, then @abigaaal joined our little trio. Before long @katjaa messaged me and told me that Divna was repeatedly harassing her and was calling her mean and vile insults. She was also body shaming her and sending her cruel asks from different accounts. This got so bad that she had to deactivate her tumblr account. Divna was still my “friend” and I didn’t understand the full extent of @katjaa’s situation until she started repeatedly lying to me and manipulating me. She was always telling me that I could’ve done this better or that I was “fake”. I still wanted to be friends with her until she messaged me in one long message that my so called actions and posts were hurting her and others. She spread lies about me to @abigaaal and shen she called me horrible names in the chat. I was very shocked at this and confronted her about her actions to @katjaa. She then started angrily telling me that I was a liar and started swearing at me in a horrible way. I then spontaneously blocked her and tried to repair ways with @abigaaal and others including @queenalexandraofdenmark and @duchessofvolterra. They did not know why me and Divna got into a fight and definitely did not know the full situation so there was a lot of explaining to do. We all repaired ways but then @abigaaal repeatedly messaged me over time that Divna was doing mean stuff and saying terrible things. She was also manipulating her to do what she wanted. This FINALLY came to an end when @abigaaal posted this post confronting Divna and Jade who I will explain right now.

I first heard of Jade (aka @goofie-light and @rewrite-starsss) when @abigaaal messaged me saying that she was Divna’s irl friend. She sent me various messages of Jade body shaming her and was horrifically bullying her. Then I saw @abigaaal’s recent post showing EVEN MORE disgusting screenshots. I knew that this bullying was bad but I didn’t know the full extent of it. Then this morning I received this message from Jade:

What she is saying here is OBVIOUSLY a lie and I immediately blocked her after telling her to go to hell. I also reported her for cyber bullying and harassment. (also idk why it says we are mutuals bc we aren’t)

If ANYONE and I mean ANYONE is experiencing cyber bullying, PLEASE report the blog or tell someone who can help. It is important that this stops and that everyone is okay and away from this shit. Also PLEASE watch out for Divna and Jade. They are manipulative people who deserve to be brought to justice.

Thank you for listening.

[wardogsong]

Good bye. I hope everyone who bullied me is fucking happy. I hope everyone who got my account deleted is happy. I'm done.

cw: mentions of self-harm and mutilation under the readmore, and also just basic dash consideration. I realize I have not been here in months, owe everything and everyone, etc... which adds an extra layer of mind-bending hilarity to this all.

Stray,

You are both breaking my heart and wearing my last nerve out. I'm only human. I'm not a saint. While I am genuinely very sorry that tumblr deleted your account, did you read the email that they sent to you? I know that you screenshotted it. You have it posted right now on this iteration of your blog.

Truth be told? I don't know if anyone reported your account. I can say with a clear conscience that I didn't. I had no reason to. The last I interacted with you and/or that account was when I was in the comments of your pinned post, talking to you there.

I am not exactly certain that your account would have required much reporting, to be honest. I think that you are imagining a bandwagon of people joining together to work against you, given the way you are currently in several inboxes, calling people bullies and so on. Again, I can say with a completely clear conscience, I have never participated in any such link up or bandwagon against you, or anyone else.

So let's keep it a buck. You do somewhat routinely post about the things mentioned in that email. It's your blog, you have a right to talk about the state of your mental health if you want to, but in this case, it was tumblr itself taking notice and action of the frequency of that, and what specifically you were saying.

Hell, let's go back in time a bit. You and I literally met and became mutuals BECAUSE you posted a farewell note on your blog, several deletions and remakes ago. It was written as if it were a done deal, and having been familiar with your url in the fandom tags, I was immediately worried for you, stranger that you were, and desperate to reach out to you hoping it would come before a too-late kind of moment. You know what the saddest part of that search for you was? Encountering people who did claim to know you and who said, with great shame, that this was somewhat regular for you.

You know it too, because even in our conversations you mentioned having been blamed or accused of attention seeking in the past and having callouts written about you.

The answer is right there, Stray. Your blog was deleted for mentions of self-harm. You may not have been glorifying it or promoting it, but you posted about it enough that you finally tripped a flag somewhere. That's it. That's all it is.

As for the rest? This is the second time you're calling me a bully. Yet again, I am asking you to prove it. Please show me the instances in which I bullied you, or the actions that I took against you. What, exactly, did I do? Because to the best of my recollection? I spent a while trying to be your friend, trying to be as supportive as I could be, introducing you to other friends of mine to help widen your circle, gaming with you, plotting things to write with you and then the one night I couldn't stay up late to talk with you because I was literally recovering from being incredibly ill AND had to take my son to an appointment the next day... ended up with you having sent me overnight screenshots of deleting your blog and either blocking or unfriending me on discord. Which one of those things was the bullying, Stray? Because the way I see it? You're the one who ditched me the second I couldn't be of use to you.

last but not least, rumor out of the hell part of this country says you have a problem with sharing mutuals. you don't like it when someone you like writes or interacts with someone you don't like and that may be the root cause of your distress. if so, rumors of my and @lt-ghxst's relationship are both greatly exaggerated and misunderstood. it's not my fault I tagged and bagged him, as that is what you do with wild gators. however, if he has slighted you, I don't take any responsibility for him. he's untrained and not yet housebroken. it's a miracle if I can get him to only piss outdoors. he bites. he's ornery and nasty-tempered. Honestly, he should probably be put to sleep but I am determined to break him in.

[exposing-eboys-left-and-right]

Torvaz/Johnathon

It's funny how easily narcissists can trick you into thinking they're amazing and get you to do or be anything for them.

Torvaz would know a lot about this. I was ready to fall head over heels for him, and sadly I did. I fell for the lovebombing.

It all turned into gaslighting and manipulation to make it seem like I was the bad guy in every scenario. Let me show you

This was over a period of 2-3 hours. He completely disregarded my boundaries of not wanting sexual comments to spring up on me like that, and then he later got mad that I didn't want to do online sexual stuff with him. He agreed to my wishes in the first part and then disregarded them 2 hours later.

Admittance that animals turn him on so much he has masturbated times before, and still feels this way towards animals.

Iconic abuse that was unprovoked and then screenshots of him choosing to ignore the things I was going through and not be there for me.

This was in response to an inside joke I had with a friend. He dared me to put "taken by the Invincible, Fearless, Sensual, Mysterious, Enchanting, Vigorous, Diligent, Overwhelming, Gorgeous, Passionate, Terrifying, Beautiful, Powerful, Grey Prince Zote." in my discord bio! It was funny and entertaining because it is a fictional character but he automatically attacked and said this

Even after I explained what it was, he still flew off the handle. Also, I did kick him from my server only because I like to keep my server clean and active so he was kicked for being inactive just like 15 other people. I also warned everyone in the server twice at separate intervals, I pinged everyone and if he bothered to look, he could have stopped from being kicked. After all of that because he claimed I was playing mind games, I offered my passwords to everything, remote access to my PC, everything to try and prove my case. He still wouldn't hear about it.

I had a piercing headache that day, and I couldn't even read my screen or type that well but I tried to have this conversation about our first sexual experience between us like adults and then he turned it sexual, again disregarding my boundaries and wouldn't take a hint. I had booked a ticket for this man to go see him so the conversation about this was likely to be brought up.

He made the claim that he didn't know anything about me booking a ticket when the dates were mutually agreed upon, I kept him updated on the process. He knew I booked them minutes later.

I was in the hospital for my epilepsy for 2 weeks, he would not stop requesting me to get into voice chat and help him masturbate and whatnot.

Let's address the accusations made towards me!

He and his family had suspicions that I was a scammer! All because he sent me $30 on two separate occasions, and that his ex did a thing where she ghosted him after saying she was flying out there. This is why I sent proof of the ticket receipt. Why would I show myself constantly on camera, nude or clothed if I was a scammer? Why would I do all the things a scammer WOULDN'T do if I was a scammer?

His accusation that I was the narcissist and the bad guy. I admit to saying TWO things out of almost TWO months, and I apologized for those things profusely. I never got an apology for him, only excuses

I reached out a week later to try and gain closure for both of us, and this is how that went. I went in there with the mindset to settle things and go our separate ways. I do not remain friends with exes, I need space first. The exes that I am friends with, both have respected the space and gave both of us ample time to relax and forgive/forget and now they are my best friends!

Torvaz is the most entitled narcissistic man-child that I have ever met with severe anger issues and cannot take accountability for anything.

The breakup text, I voiced several times that I do not remain friends with exes for a while but still he had the balls to put that there as if I was going to take him up on that offer. Ken and Ash are both exes, and I spent a long time after those breakups so if we were to become friends again, there would be no toxicity or resentment. I voiced that the beginning of the relationship, the middle of it, and several other times. He sent this message while I was asleep. I can respect his feelings but he's done enough of spreading false information, people asking what happened, and he said I asked too many questions. Another time he called me stupid. He also claims I never take accountability, but I did for the things I did that were clearly WRONG, and let me remind you, two things in the span of an almost 2-month relationship. I have proof that I not only apologized for my wrongdoing but also evidence of me apologizing for something HE did, and I cannot count on my fingers how many times I was gaslighted into thinking something or everything was my fault.

[comm-caribou]

Alright… let’s talk…

(Honestly, this post is mostly just an update on my life and why I’ve been off tumblr all year)

This is going to be a very long post with a lot of venting. No sugar coating it, no beating around the bush.

I’ve had some pretty messed up and awful things happen in my life, I don’t like talking about them openly. However, those things were spread out… this year SUCKED!

To explain where I’ve been, we have to start back in October when I stopped posting as much regularly.

I met a guy at work, we got along really great… but he just got out of an abusive relationship. Despite what I thought was an instant connection, he was wary of me and based on my own experience, I was guarded. We danced around this crush for weeks before our coworkers caught on and someone told him I’m single, someone told me he’s single, and we were exchanging numbers.

Despite dumping him and “wanting-nothing-to-do-with-him”, his ex continued to find reasons to message him or break into his home… so finding out he met someone, she was livid and somehow got both my number and my name. She was calling me and harassing me from an unknown number so I couldn’t even block her. When he found out, he ended up getting into a big fight with her and the ex disappeared, but it wasn’t over.

This guy and I started dating. We were happy and having fun learning all about each other, then my “friends” started cutting into the relationship and putting pressure on both of us. We weren’t even boyfriend/girlfriend yet and they were telling him to buy me stuff, give me flowers, take me places, and do things for me! If I told them to stop, they’d tell me they were just playing and to lighten up. In hindsight, I know I should of did better in stopping them, after all, it wasn’t fair to him to be harassed like that even if he said it didn’t bother him.

Things began falling apart in December. My (now ex) best friend invited me to a Christmas party. I don’t like parties, but she said he could come too. We went, he got a little drunk, she kept separating us to spend time with me, he got more drunk, I got overstimulated and annoyed, and I drove him home. Three days before Christmas, I get screenshots from his ex. He sent her drunk texts saying “I miss you, but I have a girlfriend now” and “I don’t feel happy anymore, I don’t have fun anymore”

What hurt worse a week before that, he told me I make him feel alive again and that he was falling in love with me. In less than a week, the same person who whispered he loved me told his ex he feels like nothing now that she’s gone.

I cried, vented to my friend, she comforted me, and then stabbed me in the back. I had told her not to bring it up because I wanted to talk to him and try to work this out. She told all our mutual friends and any coworker who would listen that he cheated on me right before Christmas, and guess who’s side they obviously took: mine.

I didn’t even get to talk to him before half the store knew some version of the story.

How he found out I knew was from one of his department coworkers—who has known me for years—basically going back there and asking him “what the f*ck is wrong with you?” and him getting an earful from the same people who helped push us together.

He was rightfully mad at me, but more so at my friend for sharing our business like that. We tried to get past it, but I was still hurt and I unintentionally made him very unliked employee.

I squashed the rumors, and people backed off.

His problems resolved. Mine didn’t.

I broke up with him. Deep down, I didn’t want to, but with everything happening I didn’t feel strong enough to keep going and he let me walk away saying I’m still his favorite coworker.

I cried for days, I was in love with him despite how much he hurt me.

A few weeks later I was informed the job I applied for in September was hiring again. I reapplied in January and got in, but it was going to be a long hiring process.

I still really liked my ex, it hurt seeing him, but we were still friends. My friends said it was very obvious he still cared for me, that there was a chance we could start again. He only came to me even if I had a line, he’d say hello to me, he’d make sure he said goodbye before leaving, he kept all my doodles, and I was delusional enough to believe them when they said that those were signs he still has feelings for me.

Except, he contacted his ex. The same person who abused him and harassed me multiple times was getting a second chance. It was Valentine’s Day and he told me I needed to forget him while I cried in the parking lot.

My friend dragged me out to the movies that night. I was heartbroken for this man all over again, and she was venting to me about how I was lucky since her crush doesn’t even notice her and that she’d give anything to have an one night stand with him. I just wanted to go home and she refused to let me go until we did something she could post on her Snap Story. She didn’t even care that you could see the tear marks on my face and posted a video of me acting happy and carefree in Target. I found out she posted it because she had my ex in her Snap friends and wanted him to see me “moving on”.

I was in hysterics crying when I finally drove home that I honestly shouldn’t have been driving.

I was in a very empty, sad state for weeks after that. I tried to pretend I was fine despite her telling everyone who’d listen that I was moping over a man who drunk texted his ex. The only thing I cared about at that point was getting my paperwork together to start my new job in March.

I barely spoke to my now ex, but the night before I started my new job, I got a bunch of texts from his phone. His now-girlfriend-again stole his phone and was texting me things like “you’re a f*cking slut” “crazy c*nt” “never talk to me again you stupid b*tch”.

She blocked on everything and I was laying in bed half asleep and extremely confused what happened when he called me on her phone. He to get us to clear things up, but all it was was her accusing him of cheating and her demanding me to explain myself. The last time I saw him outside of work was January and the only interaction we had that day was when he was when he came through my line to buy his lunch. It all gets straightened out (sort of) that he never was cheating and I’m just his friend/coworker, but I have to stay blocked. Even though I understand, I cry myself to sleep because I don’t know what happened and why it happened like that (I still don’t).

I start my new job, and it’s a month of online classes and training.

I was working three jobs by the end of March.

I’m sad, I’m stressed, I’m overworked.

It is the end of April, and my friend insists we go to the movies together to hang out. I agree to meet up at the theater after I get out of my very long day of working one job in the morning and another in the afternoon. Just as I’m about to drive half a hour to the theater, she cancels on me because she made other plans with other friends, but she says can hang out after nine o’clock.

I have work in the morning and I have a midnight curfew. When I try to tell her I can’t hang out that late at night, she doesn’t answer, so I drive home. Five minutes before the movie is suppose to start, she texts me suddenly able go with me again. At this point, I’m now home and not anywheres near close to being ready to go out and the theater is over half a hour away. She gets mad at me and accuses me of not making time for her anymore.

I hit my breaking point and our friendship starts dying from this point onward.

At the end of May—right before my birthday—I had a minor procedure done to help with my headaches. Nothing major, but I had to get my head cut open and stitches on the back of my head. I worried it was cancer—luckily it wasn’t—but I didn’t feel safe telling anyone considering how things went down the last time I shared what was happening in my life.

I dropped one of my jobs temporarily to focus on the new job and the summer job. Despite my manager position at the summer job, my supervisor had retired and the new supervisor didn’t really treat me as a manager. I had been there for nine years and for some reason my only use was training new employees. All my previous responsibilities were taken away and I would work eight hour long shifts outside in a hot shack with a janky desk fan doing nothing but reading books if I wasn’t showing a new sixteen year old how the cash register worked.

I put in my two weeks notice in June and was gone by July. The only ones who cared that I was leaving were the sixteen year old girls who thought it was cool I knew the latest TikTok trends, sang along to the Taylor Swift songs, and fangirled over the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie coming out.

After an extra a few weeks I spent focusing on the new job, I went back to work at the job with my ex and my ex-friend in early August. Despite working there only on weekends, I still found myself checking the parking lot to make sure I didn’t see either of their vehicles there. Most days I’m lucky and I can get away with not seeing either.

My mental health was beginning to take a turn for the worse as summer began to come to an end. I began a “healing journey” which included working on my passions, learning new skills, getting back in touch with my inner child, falling back in love with life, and working on my health.

Lately it’s been getting bad again despite my efforts.

Between the holidays coming up making both my jobs busy, my favorite coworker at my new job is leaving and it’s bringing out all the red flags about my new big girl job. We’re understaffed, there’s clear favoritism, and a lot stress put on us because of the field we work in.

Somedays I go home and I feel like I’m in a daze.

Most days, I lay in bed and just cry because the life I planned no longer exists and I feel stuck.

All I wanted in life was to fall in love, get married to someone who made me feel safe and loved, own a home together where we could raise our kids, and one day publish a physical book.

Now a days, I don’t feel anyone could love me and even if they could I won’t be able to love them. I thought my biggest challenge was going to be publication, not romance.

I’m just here. Stuck somewhere between I want to live and wondering what’s the point? I don’t want to die and I’m not actively thinking of ways to end my life, but there are nights where I lay in bed and the idea of not waking up in the morning doesn’t sound too bad.

I just want to write silly headcanons or lovey dovey stories, but I don’t feel happy and the idea of love hurts.

I want the old me back, but she’s gone.

The new me isn’t sure who exactly she is yet either.

All I know is this is me trying.

[cocoartistwrites]

Hi Coco 💐

I need an advice/new perspective on this situation I’m in. I have a friend group of 7 people since high school and we stayed in touch throughout university. But we kinda strayed away because of work and some of us moved abroad. And we rarely talk anymore. That’s fine by me because that is life.

A month ago, I found out that one of girls in the group is going to marry in October. However I soon discovered that I wasn’t invited because she reposted all the bridesmaids invite. All the girls in our group are the bridesmaids. I’m the only one who is not invited.

I’m not mad that I’m not going to be a bridesmaid but I’m a bit sad because I’m not invited (she also has sent out all the invitation for guests. Even our teachers got an invite). She even invited our friend who lives in Australia. My friend got worried about me and she asked the bride to confirm about my invite. Turns out I really am, not invited. When asked why, Lisa (the bride), said that there isn’t enough quota for me. I’m not gonna lie, I feel hurt but I understand.

However some friends heard that I’m not invited and decided to confront me about it. When I gave them the screenshots, they felt it was odd because she also invited plus one. My friends who were the bridesmaids asked to switch her plus one to me, but Lisa outright refused and got superrr mad when our friends asked why. Everyone was confused because I have never had any drama with anyone ever. I’m very non confrontational and I tend to let people walk over me.

Our friends who were the bridesmaids threatened to leave the wedding if she doesn’t tell the real reason. Turns out, the fiancé have a folder of my photos in his laptop. Some of these photos are stalker-ish and recently taken (probably 3 months ago) according to my friend. My friends got mad at Lisa because what he did is wrong and doesn’t understand why I’m being punished for it. Our friends backed out of the wedding and already requested a refund for the bridesmaids dress.

Now this is all happening without me knowing.

I have never met her fiancé alone. We’ve met at a party because he was a mutual friend of my ex. But other than that, it’s zero interaction. Like ZERO. Now I’m a bit paranoid about someone taking pictures of me secretly. I asked my friends to not back out and stay with Lisa because I think she’s just being a bridezilla. However they’re pretty adamant about not going to the wedding.

Lisa has made several instagrams post throwing shade at me. Even though she doesn’t say my name, but everyone knows it was me. Another friend who is very much confrontational commented on her post saying that it was never my fault and that Lisa is being super dramatic right now. News broke out about my pictures on his laptop because apparently he made a facebook post saying he had deleted the photos and that the photos are not pornographics.

Some of my friends got mad at me because while all of this happened, I never said anything. I don’t want to press charges against him too. I never asked anyone to talk to Lisa about me. Lisa has been calling me and accusing me of ruining her wedding and saying that I’m jealous of her. I apologize for what’s happening and told her that I’m not interested in her man and never interacted with him. Then I blocked her because I am just so exhausted.

Sorry this is too long. I think I’ve done the right thing by not responding. If you think I’m wrong, please let me know.

Thank you so much Coco 💐

Oh my GOD. She sounds like the fucking worst and you’re never going to win whatever that battle she’s invented is so you’ve absolutely done the right thing. What the fuck?? Why would you marry someone who is a literal actual stalker 😭

You must be terrified that’s a really traumatic thing to happen tbh I’m so sorry. Not only has this woman tried to blame you and try to make you a pariah but you might have been in danger and didn’t know. And to top that all off this woman then blamed you AGAIN. I’ve written that out even though it might be a bit confronting because I think it’s really important to acknowledge that what has happened to you is really fucking shit.

What I would say is that I’m glad these other friends were good about it, they seem like good people. I hope you can talk to someone about it as in friends and family. Professionally, I think you should maybe tell a lawyer sorry to be dramatic but I get why you don’t want to press charges etc over this but you don’t know this guy and she sounds quite mad too and I do think having some record of all of this and any evidence would be a good idea just in case. It might also give you some peace of mind. Obviously if you’re feeling unsettled and observed you should also hit up a therapist for a couple of sessions but that’s more a personal thing so I won’t advise there. The lawyer is a practical solution, and means you don’t have to press charges but you do have a legal record in case something happens down the line - which it almost certainly won’t. I just really cannot fathom the pictures thing though. And then to marry him?

I think she’s probably angry with you because she doesn’t want to admit the truth to herself, which is that she is making a gigantic mistake and should have walked away the moment she found that folder (and like what else did she find you know??)

Also god if I stayed with a guy like that wild horses couldn’t drag that information out of me who did she tell and why?

Anyway I hope you’re okay. It sounds like you’ve done everything you can to be the biggest person in this so be proud of that. I really hope you get excluded from their narrative now, and thank god you’re shot of such weird and shitty people. And thank GOD you didn’t have to go to their wedding.

[turn2tech]

what the fuck just happened

ok um sorry for posting this on tumblr out of literally anywhere else but i just got out of a really WEIRD relationship and im honestly not sure what else to do!!!

tws: possibly toxic relationships? (past) physical/emotional abuse

holy shit wow where do i even start

this all happened so fast!!!

ok me and my bf of 1.5 years have broken up!!! It was our homecoming dance i invited them as well as our mutual best friend, and when they got there they told me they thought it was going to be a date. They acted very upset throughout the entire thing brought down the mood all together. I'm not saying that they aren't allowed to express their emotions, but the thing is, they were there when i invited the best friend. After that, i broke up with them while we were waiting for our parents to pick us up (we're freshmen). We agreed to stay friends.

After all of that, i invited the best friend over to my house, mainly so i could complain about how they were kind of a manipulative asshole throughout the entire relation (dw, ill get to that later) and we got to talking, eventually coming to the conclusion they we should also stop being friends with them.

Me, being the irrational and impulsive prick that i am, told someone that max was close too! I told him the next day at school, not realizing i forgot to tell him that the confrontation itself was going to happen at a later date, and him, confused, went to class and asked my boyf what happened.

blah blah blah yada yada yada i said some stupid shit in a group chat, insulted them while trying to explain the situation, and was just kind of bitchy about the whole thing. Without hearing my side of the story, everyone immediately took max's side and kicked me. I understand it to an extent, but even to this day they refuse to get my perspective which is really concerning to me. I had someone i knew inside the group chat still, and they sent me screenshots of everyone saying how they never liked me in the first place and how AND I QUOTE "only ever talk about cartoons and video games." Like... damn. I would genuinely rather be punched in the face and have my nose broken by a complete and utter stranger on the street then to see that.

A few days after, the friend that started this all insisted that apologizing to the bf directly would fix everything. I gave a whole ass SPEECH about how i was in the wrong about the things i said, but i still felt our relationship was unhealthy for me. They didn't add me back to the group chat, nor did i ever have someone ask me for my side. Oh, and the inside friend? refuses to defend me in fear of getting kicked out as well.

The mutual best friend actually made amends with the bf so they aren't on bad terms, but in truth they are only there to report what he has said about me. He has said the following:

that i was emotionally distant

i ... smelled bad????

i didn't give them enough "physical affection" (i frequently said no to making out)

And that just got me thinking. The entire reason i was emotionally and physically distant was because of, well, physical and emotional abuse ive suffered in the past. Ive had terrible relationships, and even more terrible friends. I told them about this several times, and that it's not their fault im this way! clearly they don't care and have decided to take it personally, which is not my problem.

So you know what? ive got a couple of gripes with you too.

you never(rarely) showered and actively admitted that to me

you were a compulsive liar that lied about fucking EVERYTHING

you frequently emotionally presured me into staying with you, using the phrase "I'd probably kill myself if we ever broke up haha" frequently

you faked being scene (dressed the part, did not listen to the music LMFAO I JUST REMEBERED THEIR FAVORITE ARTIST IS MITSKI HELP)

AND LAST, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST,

YOU FUCKING FAKED BEING TRANS TO DATE ME

yes, you read that last part right! the NIGHT we broke up they went to all their social media accounts and changed the flags in their pfps, as well as the pronouns in their bio, oh no, im sorry, HER BIO. I am pissed and angry and mainly sad that i didn't see the signs earlier. And hey, if you read this far, thanks.

Anyways, there's actually a lot more inbetweens to this story, including the collapse of an entire friend group, rumors, and a musical (not fucking kidding), but im tired and typing this just made me really sad. goodnight.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking a friend to change something they wrote?

I'll try to be quick with this but its something that has been bothering me for a while and I would like some secondary opinions.

Me and, let's say, Abby (both 18+) were online friends over tumblr for several years on and off before this happened. We didn't really have arguments, just drifted apart and back together as interests changed. During a time when we were talking a lot, we often bounced writing ideas off each other and got the other's opinion.

Anyways, Abby wrote this really sweet piece for a mutual friend's birthday, putting in a lot of work, and i helped critique as we normally did. The piece gets sent and posted all fine, but I later get sent the finished draft and finally got to read the entire thing.

Now, like I mentioned before, Abby and I bounced a lot of ideas off each other with the understanding that we were going to write these ideas and that they weren't free game for the other to use. While in the middle of reading this birthday piece, I stumble upon a scene that is shockingly similar to something I had planned to write, only with the characters changed to Abby's OCs. this was something i had described and talked to Abby about a few times, getting their opinion and taking their criticism to better craft the final piece.

When I saw this scene in Abby's writing, I, of course, went to her and asked if she did it on purpose. She claimed that she didnt know what I was talking about, up until I pulled up screenshots of our conversations detailing what my idea was. I explicitly didn't accuse her of stealing the idea, only that she might've been unknowingly.... influenced with the idea being in the back of her mind. I asked her if she could change it, because I was still intending on writing this piece and felt that our other friends would think i was copying her.

Abby immediately goes on the defensive, saying I was an asshole for bringing this up on our other friend's birthday, that she didn't steal anything, and that i was being rude nitpicking her writing like this. she proceeded to block me before I could respond, and we haven't spoken since.

I was honestly baffled with her response, because i never accused her of anything and was just genuinely hurt that she had used the idea, even accidentally, when it was something i had been crafting and talking to her about for a few months.

so, AITA for asking Abby to change her writing?

What are these acronyms?

[kayleighavalon]

Well I can’t get tumblr to verify this account and that really doesn’t matter anyways because I don’t plan on keeping this app for much longer.

I have been uninvolved for over a month and it’s been great. I love it. I have been so much happier since walking away when I did. Truly, my depression is down, my stress is down, my mood is up and my confidence is up.

I haven’t really kept up with things, I’m sent ss here and there but I rarely look at it. Except last night I was sent ss of a blog with my first name and with Rose’s new last name after it and my friends were freaking out saying “omg Rose is impersonating you.”

And at first I thought “nah it’s probably not Rose.” But then I was shown someone’s new Facebook and I’m not going to out her name because that would be disingenuous of me to do. But the name was kinda leaning towards my name and I got worried that with the ss I was being sent that yeah she may actually be trying to take my name. I got mad at first and yelled at her which wasn’t fair or the correct way to behave and I did apologize for that. Rose clarified that she didn’t mean to make it seem like she was copying my name and she explained to me what was going on.

I explained that she would have been upset if I had done something similar and she understood that from what I gather from our chat last night. We ended our chat on a mutual note and I thought everything was cleared up from there.

Next thing I know she’s arguing with my bestie and saying she’s going to sue us for causing her to cough up blood.

So first of all, I contacted my lawyer about this after several of my friends sent me screenshots that I had missed this past week. I don’t know if I’m ok with them ss all of that and I did ask for them to either delete it or just keep it private but those ss along with the conversation I had with Rose before she threatened me, disproves her claims according to my lawyer.

It would be like if I threatened to sue any of y’all for causing one of my POTS episodes. Anxiety and stress can trigger an episode and it’s scary and if Rose threatening me had triggered an episode (it didn’t because I took my medication) I could in theory argue that. But Rose was coughing up blood long before I messaged her last night.

Further to disprove she told me that the pneumonia she caught causes the bloody cough.

Anyways I don’t think it was a real threat. I think instead Rose was splitting. It’s a BPD thing and it happens when someone with BPD is under a lot of stress and strong emotions. My friend does it occasionally during her rough days and she thankfully is really good at communicating things with me.

This would explain why Rose went from being easy to talk to, to suddenly being a different emotion altogether.

Essentially I’m not mad or upset or bothered.

I don’t want to be involved in the drama. Why would I? I haven’t been in the drama for over a month and I want to continue not being in it. I’m really sorry if I caused a split to happen. I am sorry for how I reacted when I misunderstood something. I came in way too aggressive and way too agitated not because I was mad at Rose but because I was frustrated with the situation possibly dragging me back in.

As for Dareka, I don’t care. I have no beef with anyone really, not mad at Dareka not mad at Rose.

I was lied to for two weeks in December, had someone pretend to be a different person to me for two weeks while I was on vacation and had that person waste my time with nonsense. Was it Dareka? Idk. But I know it wasn’t Rose who did that to me.

It was someone and it was obnoxious. I was mad at Rose because of something that turned out to not only be false but dangerously stupid. Rose never plagiarized her book and I felt like I was lied to about that for weeks.

I’m not sucking up or pretending to be nice, it was confirmed that Rose never plagiarized that book because the wolf river blog wasn’t a real person. Their book, wasn’t real either. Someone made them up.

I don’t know and I don’t care but I know why and all I can say is what a giant waste of time that was.

That’s what pissed me off. That’s why I walked away.

Y’all wanna have drama with each other go at it. But why do I have to be involved? Y’all fight each other when I’m not around according to my friends.

As for Rose I didn’t mean to come off that aggressive towards you but from the optics it looked like I was being impersonated and I wanted to make sure you really weren’t playing that game. I know y’all miss me but y’all could always idk find new people? Not hard. If there’s a struggle there’s always someone on imvu I’m sure.

Anyways I ain’t mad or bothered. I’m going to slip back in my blissfully ignorant state and pretend none of these problems exist.

[dragonturtle2]

A predator will be attending Milwaukee Ponyville Ciderfest

Content warning: sexual abuse, self-harm, online harassment, and the propositioning of a minor

The person’s name is Kaitlin Hahn. Aka, SilverMoon, aka RainbowDashie5.0, aka rockcandypower43. [Addendum: aka Rainbowdashloverocks]

Earlier this year it came out that Kaitlin had prompted a 16-year-old for a sexual encounter. This was published in a compilation document posted online by a man with the username Reverend Shadow. He had compiled stories, screenshots, and links of people acting dangerously in the MLP community (and by extension the Furry and Sonic game community). The document went through several revisions and address changes, and you can read the non-Google doc version on Wordpress. You can just read the sections about Kaitlin, but the entire thing is useful.

https://revshadow.wordpress.com/the-document/8/#chapter-iii-part-i-kaitlin-s-error

The person who first told me about the document was Blackjack (John Bergeman). The events were also acknowledged to me as real by her boyfriend, Gage O’Laughlin. Gage has been my friend since college, and were former roommates and co-workers for years after graduation. Kaitlin has also admitted to what she has attempted with a minor in different formats. Kaitlin made a strange YouTube apology video, where she vaguely acknowledged she did something “extremely wrong” with a 16-year-old. As well as harassing an 11-year-old.

Even the apology video was done shadily. It was set to private, and posted on her second more obscure YouTube channel. All so that fewer people would ever see her admitting fault. I only first saw it because someone shared the private link with me. The link that I’m sharing with you is just Reverend Shadow recording of it. (The original video was called “ I am willing to change.” The recording Reverend Shadow posted has a different, much more specific title). Her video came after the evidence about her was made public. A more immediate confession was when she got blocked by then-boyfriend Gage O'Laughlin (He’s unfortunately gotten back with her), she began messaging a friend of ours named Jared Miller Christian. She was begging him to convey her messages to Gage, begging Gage to unblock her, and admitting “I sent that thing to that 16-year-old because I was fucking horny.”

This is a well-known pattern of Kaitlin’s. Someone doesn’t want to talk to her, so she spams them with calls and messages. Then if she gets blocked, she begins spamming them on different services like Facebook, Discord, or even over games like Animal Crossing. If none of those get a response, she begins bothering a shared mutual to pass along a bunch of her messages. Kaitlin has been an abusive person for years. Nothing that would qualify getting banned from a convention or calling the police, but once the story dropped about how she wanted to have sex with a minor, everything that happened with her really illustrates how irrational she is. How little regard she has for other people.

Years before this story broke of propositioning a minor (and trying to cheat on her boyfriend Gage O'Laughlin again), we kicked her out of the Milwaukee Bronies group because she was a jerk to everyone, and threatened someone on Facebook. There was a dude who was selling a few plushies; Kaitlin offered money for one that WASN��T for sale. When the guy kept politely saying “no,” she threatened to call the police to his address for ‘false advertising.’ Plenty of people in Milwaukee Bronies can tell you that story, including our leaders.

On February 26th of 2024, John Bergeman (aka Blackjack, who has worked with Ciderfest very often) blocked her because she had been pestering him over something. She got so upset, she created a new group chat with him and Jared Christian, where she threatened to kill herself if Blackjack didn’t answer her phone calls. Jared then called me, because he was so freaked out. Someone had to call the nonemergency number, even if we had our doubts she would actually do anything. After this, she had to have a stint in a mental hospital. When she got picked up that night, it turned out neither of her parents knew where she was actually was at the time. Kaitlin‘s parents are divorced, and she is barred by Illinois law from living on her own. In actuality, she had been staying over at the house of a different, cheating on her boyfriend. (She also apparently tried convincing her sister, to join them). This lover had met her because he had been hired by her parents to drive her to work. He was mostly paid through subsidies granted by the state of Illinois. That used to be a job performed by her Gage, until he had to move back to his home state Wisconsin, and their relationship became long distance. These are screenshots from that night.

On June 10th, 2023, Simone Smudde and Matt Rypel were married. They are the leaders of Milwaukee Bronies, and everyone in the group got invited. Kaitlyn obviously wasn’t; Simone has said that before Kaitlyn was booted, she made Simone anxious just by being around her. Kaitlyn always hated being banned from group meetings, and generally hated it when Gage was spending time with anyone and it didn’t involve her. Gage gave me a lift in his car to the ceremony in Wisconsin, and we bunked at his parents’ house for the 22nd and 23rd. Throughout the 22nd, Kaitlyn kept calling him to demand he cancel his attendance, and leave me to figure a way there myself. Then on the 23rd, she threatened Gage and Blackjack to kill herself for attending the wedding without her. That all the Bronies wanted her dead. She also laid out some offensive remarks about the bride and groom. At the couples’ request, I will not be making those personal comments public. But they have been shared with the con staff.

These messages were being before and during the ceremony, and were then shared with me in deep exasperation during the dinner. I have not posted them in any particular order.

A few days later that June, Kaitlyn got hospitalized. She got on someone’s birthday party stream (on FaceTime, I think) and began stabbing herself with thumbtacks. Person C was attending that stream. Person C texted this information with Blackjack, who shared the screenshots of those texts with me. (I’m not using Person C’s name because I have not had the chance to reach out to them and ask their permission.)

As disturbing as this is, it wasn’t an actual attempt on her life. This was Kaitlyn being as alarming as she could be to punish the people she felt had wronged her. She tries to control people using guilt, alarm and anxiety. I first saw behavior in that same vein in 2021, a year into Gage first dating Kaitlyn, after he and I had moved into a new apartment together. For now I will not be going into detail out of respect for Gage's privacy and his own abuse. But it HAS been shared with Ciderfest. I know it's wishful thinking, but I do hope he listens to the advice of all his friends and family and cut her out of his life.

I never met her sister Lexi, but Kaitlin has been making her sister feel unsafe as well. Recently she told Lexi that if she didn’t do what Kaitlin wanted, Kaitlin would lie to Reverend Shadow to put Lexi’s name on the document naming sex predators & enablers. Fortunately, Kaitlin made this threat on a livestream, and he recorded it.

Her sister I feel bad for, because she’s also disabled and doesn’t really have the ability to go anywhere else. One of the people I've talked to while creating this is Lexi’s confidant. Meanwhile, the parents are either unable or unwilling to do anything to restrain Kaitlin. I have spoken once with her father, Merlin Hahn, since I read about the allegations. It was on a phone call with Gage. Besides Merlin acknowledging that the events happened, he claimed that it wasn’t pedophilia. His excuse was that Kaitlin’s mental diagnosis made her like a middle schooler. I told him that besides that not sounding like something defensible, I asked why he accepted years of Kaitlin dating some men her age or older, and did not share a similar cognitive diagnosis. Men who he did not also consider middle schoolers. He did not have an answer.

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Everything I've wrote above was presented to the con staff on October 9th, and I was only told about the current decision to let her attend October 26th. And that was just because I asked. I was told "Royal Guard and leadership are very aware, are vigilant about it and handling. If they do show up and if they do cause ANY problems. Please let me or any Royal Guard know."

I had provided a link to where the story first broke, recorded conversations, as well as my experiences with Kaitlin Hahn over the years. I promised that "If anything I’ve given you seemed falsified, or too vague, please let me know so I can provide details, fix my error. I’m willing to do a video interview, or help set one up with someone else." The only reassurance I got was "Really they are being watched with a magnifying glass." But I don't get the point of a magnifying glass, or security camera, or some other looking device metaphor, when something obviously harmful has been observed, and no action is taken.

Kaitlin did not attend Whinney City 2024. I had mistakenly thought she was prohibited from coming by the convention itself. But actually, the reason she didn't come to Schaumburg is because Gage O'Laughlin was too angry with her to provide a ride or a room. A few months later, any misgivings Gage might still have he's chosen to ignore.

Kaitlin is still coming to Ciderfest. Just as she has in years past, and I'm sure plans to in the years to come. The thought process behind allowing her in seems like it treats the convention as some kind of vacuum, that what a person says and does outside of it doesn't matter for the people attending. Or that the people who run the con somehow don't have the right to alter anything. They won’t take real action unless something happens WITHIN the location and timeframe of the convention (or if Kaitlin dropped an extremely specific threat). I asked permission from Ciderfest if I could include the names of the staff members I spoke to about this, and I was not given permission. I can attest though that they were important people, and have a reputation for responsibility. While reaching out to con staff, I was repeatedly told how busy they were. If that affected the outcome of this decision, or stopped them for noticing Kaitlin's behavior in the first place, then I strongly recommend they reserve more of their time and effort for keeping congoers safe as possible. Of the people I've named in these events, most of them I have reached out to for permission to use their names. They never spoke to me about anyone from the con reaching out for their accounts, or confirmation of events.

No, I don't think Kaitlin is going to assault or touch anyone while the at the convention. I just firmly believe a person like this just shouldn't be allowed in our spaces. It feels gross on its own, being in the same room as someone like that. Parents bring their kids to this convention. But I also sincerely feel like this could lead to problems down the road. Letting unbalanced abusers walk around puts a veneer of normalcy on them, that lets them get closer to unsuspecting people. As for people who DO know about Kaitlin's abuses, this sets the precedent that these things won't be opposed, that the abuser won't lose any privileges. So other abusers won't feel apprehensive in acting this way, and victims won't feel like there's a point in speaking up and seeking help.

A person who does all this shouldn't get to be included in our convention community; not be given the same privileges, and not nearly the standard of trust given to the rest of us who've done nothing wrong. Feeling like we can open up to complete strangers, and feel safe, is part of what makes these conventions so wonderful. Regardless if Ciderfest/Whinney City don't take preventative action, I hope this information will prevent anyone from approaching this bully and predator unsuspectingly.