#i mean that in the rudest way possible because actually fuck you and whatever you were trying to accomplish

[shitpostdevil]

Wishing everyone else a happy and safe pride, and for your floats not to get vandalized like ours did (we were unfortunately not able to walk inthe parade because of it and proceeded to sob because pride is supposed to be happy and I am anything but that right now)

[luvbrie]

brother

pairing: jihoon & reader / older brother!jihoon & gn!reader

warnings: JIHOON IS ANNOYING, swearing, mentions of parents, informal language

wordcount: 1k words / bulletpoint scenario

right off the bat, jihoon loves to annoy you

no surprise there

literally this man doesn’t know how to shut the fuck up

as much as you punch and slap him he doesn’t Care

you’re not even sure he feels your violent backlashes..

just call ur mom though and he’s apologizing as if he actually cares <3

jihoon is SO PETTY

he’s petty in the sense where you two would argue, he just walks out, and like 2 days later slap the back of your head

“wHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?”

he shrugs and just says idk

like hE’S NOT EVEN MAD AT YOU ANYMORE

HE JUST HAS TO BC… WHY??

and it happens vv often cause you fight like it’s the last day of ur lives Every. Single. Day.

ur both super stubborn so none of u apologize

but u guys only fight about rlly small things so arguments never rlly came to the point of needing proper apologies

other times he’ll barge into your room and Lay On You

it doesn’t matter if ur not on the bed.

he’ll just come up to u and flatten you out with his 5’10 ass

“get off me.”

“no”

"i can't Breathe"

"yea cause i took ur breath away"

"well give it the fuck back"

jihoon is like constantly looking for ways to annoy u in this state

he'll just lay on the bed and throw his legs somewhere on u

it’s kinda like his bonding time with you

like he’ll just flop onto your torso, pull out his phone and do whatever as if you weren’t even there

after shifting ur position so ur not Suffocating you just continue on with whatever ur doing

because you, as his sibling, would know jihoon was not gonna budge anytime soon.

honestly u would just Forget about him for a while until he randomly slaps your phone or flips your book to a random page

i’m pretty sure he’d spoil comebacks to you

at first ur like “STOP IT IDONT WANT SPOILERSSS”

but then after a while ur just like “waitt no way i thought mashi was dying his hair purple?”

kinda backtracking but he can’t keep his mouth shut so he’ll tell u ANY drama he hears about

totally would call you at any given hour for tea time

tbh if u want him to stop just hang up

he’ll just text you everything u missed anyway

cause he knows you actually do wanna know LOL

i can’t imagine him inviting you to his dorm with the boys

at least not often

he uses the excuse that “you are too annoying for them”

i say excuse cause jihoon doesn’t wanna swallow his pride and tell u that he’s feeling a wee bit protective of u even if he trusts the members with his life

just can’t help it

times he does let you hang w them, he’ll make sure to annoy you a lot in attempt to divert your attention from the boys

as much as u ignore him his plan inevitably works when he starts blurting embarrassing stories of you when you were younger

you have to slap his neck to get him to shut up HAHA

as much as we love the idea of wingman jihoon

don’t tell him if you have a crush on one of the treasure members

ESPECIALLY IF IT’S JUNKYU OR HYUNSUK.

save urself the embarrassment

he will do anything to get you to unlike them or something

if you’re serious ab liking them though, he’ll understand

i mean he won’t stop his ministrations but his intentions will have clearly changed

he’ll start teasing the member a lot and saying very subtle things about you that they might like

he’s gotchu bro but in the rudest way possible

adding on, jihoon genuinely really cares for you

he disguises his concern with teasing

he’ll flick your forehead throughout the day if he finds out you haven’t been taking care of yourself

“come on you should be old enough to know when you need to eat”

“you still need your older brother to tell you when to go to bed? you’re such a child”

he likes to make snacks for you while you study

from things like cut fruits to going to the convenience store really quick to buy your favorite chips

when he catches you all sad, he’ll drag you to your room and wrap you in your bedsheets

he’ll sit with you, regardless if you tell him to go away or not

he won’t say anything, and just let you cry or scream or rant

whatever his little sibling needs to feel better

because whenever you’re sad, he can’t help but feel at fault

he knows he’s not as outwardly affectionate and doesn’t want you thinking that he doesn’t care for you

especially if the reason why you’re sad in the first place is because he made you genuinely angry or said something to upset you

sometimes, when he knows that you’re really hurt, he’ll lay down with you and let you hug him

if you’re hurt because someone broke your heart, he’ll start pointing out every single little thing that he’s noticed that he didn’t like

it’s kinda scary how much jihoon knows actually???

like jihoon is super observant when he’s not talking tbh

“didn’t you notice how they always got a text at 4pm ‘from their mom’ and always had to be home by 5? they don’t live with their mom, y/n.”

you’re like “huh”

“yeah. also don’t you remember how you were getting suspicious of them and their work friend, and how quickly they dismissed that ‘friend’ of theirs when you brought it up that night? as if they expected it?”

“???? you noticed???”

“you didn’t?”

all in all jihoon is super caring in indirect but obvious ways

just call his name and he’ll be there :)

well he’ll be there after he finishes listening to mashi and jeongwoo fight tho.

he’s late by like 20 minutes but when he greets you with “y/n. oh. my. god.” ,, you know that 20 minutes would’ve been worth it.

[blushinggray]

Concept: pro hero!bakugou x stand up comedian!reader

Cw // suggestive, attempted humor, possibly annoying

What if you’ve been dating bakugou long enough to get his okay to make fun of him during your stand up sets. Like not make him your whole act but the content is too good to not spend at least a few minutes talking about the hilarity of your relationship/situation

“As some of you may know, i am dating someone rather famous”

*screams in the crowd from dynamight fans*

“Yes, that amount of applause just now clearly reflects how many of you are here to catch a glimpse of him in the back and not bc you actually think I’m funny. It’s cool, it’s all good bc in the end I’m still getting paid for this gig. Whether he comes to see my set or not, you guys will literally pay that entrance fee just for the slight chance my man or his friends will be in the audience and I will be taking full advantage of that. That’s right, i am not above using my bf’s rep as free publicity. He calls me shallow for it sometimes but I just give him the puppy dog eyes like, ‘aw cmon babe we earned this together!’ And then I’ll still get hero dick at the end of the night 😛 ”

“I’ll let you in on a secret. Exclusive. I bet you guys might think that the great explosion murder god dynamight is some big, bad, unapproachable, potty-mouthed, time bomb from what you’ve seen online and on the news and whatnot. Well, you know what? It’s all… absolutely true. Completely and utterly true. Yes, every bit of it. He can be the meanest, rudest, most frustrating motherfucker you have ever tried to hold a conversation with. And you know why our relationship works? No, not bc of communication, not patience, not therapy. All good guesses though. No, the real reason we work out is bc I have the fattest degradation kink ever.”

“You guys know I’m kidding. I love my bf, he has a really cool, admirable job. Just as admirable as any firefighter or doctor out there. It’s just that he gets to look sexier while doing it, yanno? And you’ve seen the charts, he’s good at his job. He’s in the top five of the whole motherfucking country. Can you freaking believe that?”

*cheers from dynamight fans*

“Yeah he’s freaking amazing. And i know what you’re all thinking. You’re all here wondering how the hell did that blonde bombshell end up with an average bitch like me? Well why do you think?! It’s because I’m fucking hilarious! Look, I see you hot girls sitting around in this audience and I respect you. I might stare at your tits more than my bf will but that is my business. And I know that you’re all probably fine, beautiful individuals underneath all your cute dynamight merch.

“But… I will let you in on another secret. Your mothers all lied to you when they said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach or whatever the fuck they told you. The true route to take is through the funny bone. You gotta break that shit and make sure he knows it’s your fault. And you gotta write your name so big on the cast that he will never forget that you made him laugh until he choked. Now, you can fill his stomach and his memories with some heartfelt meal that you slaved over for 3 hours, but he’s just gonna get hungry again eventually. But nothing leaves a deeper impression than that pain you left in his gut from making dick jokes all night. I mean come on, does it mothafucking look like I can cook? No! My only talents are standing up on platforms and putting phallic things close to my mouth.”

“Nah but let’s be serious, have you ever tried dating a pro hero? The amount of patience, flexibility, and self control you have to have is unreal. Yes ofc to hold back from tapping that ass every time you get a closeup of their hero costume, but also you gotta deal with their crazy schedules, unpredictable flakiness, and their unshakable sense of justice. He could be balls deep in me, dangling me upside down with that Herculean strength they’ve been training since they were fucking 15 years old, and he’d still book it the fuck outta there once he gets a text from the commission. Like, I am forever stuck in this side chick role bc he’ll always be holding out for goddamn justice and the fate of the world of whatever, ugh. What’s a bitch gotta do to get his attention for a weekend? I gotta go out and get myself stabbed or kidnapped. That’s a joke, that’s a joke. No one kidnap me, i will annoy you to the point that you’ll rather throw me into a river instead of keeping me for ransom. Bc we all know that if I’m about to die, I will be testing out my most rancid material. Istg I will make my murderers regret kidnapping me…”

-

And somewhere in the back or the side of the venue, bakugou’s friends might be laughing their asses off over drinks while the victim of all your jokes himself shakes his head but still lets out an involuntary snort every so often

[mindofharry]

troubled.

hate is a very strong word.

But harry styles is sure he hates maya clearwater. With every bone is his body, he hates that girl. He hates her curly black hair, that she sometimes straightens (which he hates too). He hates the way she smiles her pearly white teeth on show for everyone to see. He hates the way her dimple show everytime she laughs, she laughs so loud people can her from a mile away. He hates the way people love her. How she has so many friends. He hates the way teachers praise her. The dictionary meaning of the word hate, is to feel an intense dislike for someone. And Harry’s sure he had more than a feeling of intens dislike for maya.

As for maya, she loved everyone. She was just easy to be around. Everyone she’d ever met, she got on with. Except for: Harry styles. She could never really put her finger on him. Why he always got so annoyed when she joined him and his friends. She had to admit, he wasn’t who everyone thought he was. But she was hopeful. Hopeful that he would change his ways, and be his true self. The one the fans think he is. But maybe that’s one of her so called ‘toxic traits’ always being hopeful and believing there’s good in people. Even with there may not be an ounce. Maya had been like that since she was a child. You might call her a push over or naive, but she always believed in second chances and seeing the good side of people. Even when they’ve made her upset or angry.

Maya and Harry had met at Sarah’s, Harry’s drummers, party. It was New Year’s Eve, everyone seemed to be getting on really enjoying themselves. Until maya arrived. Harry had disliked her since the moment she layed on her.

He was upset because she didn’t remember him. She never texted him back. And definitely looked much better than he did. They had met briefly before at a mutual friend’s birthday party, they exchanged numbers, maya promising him they would meet up again soon. But as Harry waited, there was no call or text. And that’s when he decided he would hate maya clearwater forever. And he would make everyone know about it.

And they did.

When maya and Harry finally had met properly, able to talk and actually say hello, Harry was the rudest he had ever been his life. Sarah was so beyond embarrassed as she had met maya only a month ago, and was really trying to get to know her more. Sarah apologised profusely to maya when she decided she would head home early.

“Maya, please don’t leave! I’ll sort it out!” Sarah said red in the face from embarrassment. Maya shook her hear bringing her new friend into a hug before kissing her cheek.

“I promise we can celebrate together another time. Please don’t worry about this, I’ve already forgotten about it” maya lied putting a fake smile “you should too” she continued nodding her head before grabbing her red coat and black back before hugging Sarah again.

“I’ll text you when I’m home” maya said before leaving the house.

So maya went home and cried. And then she put on her fake smile, and forgot about. This is what she did, she cried. And then it was forgotten. She didn’t like to dwell on things, and she was already insecure enough, she didn’t need heart throb Harry styles bringing her down too.

The next time maya and Harry met was when she was dragged to another party at her college. Of course she wasn’t expecting to see one of the most famous singers in the world today at her friends college party. She had remembered back to the words that he spoke at Sarah’s party, but she quickly put her thoughts to rest as her friend, Jane, brought her to the dance floor.

Harry saw her curly black hair and her red dress before maya realised he was here. He sighed bringing the beer to his lips. Why was she always where he was? Why was she always in his thoughts? Why can’t maya clearwater leave him alone?

Harry snickered to his friends as he watched her and her friend dance together. He nudged his friend tom, pointing over to maya. “She looks like a stick” Harry laughed and the boys all nodded laughing along. Maya stopped dancing and looked over at Harry with tears in her eyes. Jane was trying to get maya to dance, while maya stood there looking Harry in the eye, her brown skin glistening with sweat and tears. Harry almost felt half bad, but he soon forgot about that once he remembered what she did. He smirked at her sipping at his beer once more as he watched her walk away from her friend and leave the house.

Maya had cried one too many tears on this man. She had hardly even talked to this man! They had met twice, barely the second time.

She just wanted to know why he hated her so much. She had always tried to be the nicest person she could possibly be. That’s what her mum asked of before she died. You could say maya had a wild child phase, while her mum was sick. She just couldn’t expect that her mum was going to die. So she abused drugs and alcohol, and she became known as the towns whore. She was naive and she was defintly in denial. But maya thought if she did this it would numb the pain. She would forget that her mum could possible die while she was out having sex with any beating heart.

“Baby. I need you to be good when I’m gone. I need you to look after dad and toby, ok?” Her mum said tears in her eyes and maya grabbed her mother’s hand tears running down her face.

“I need you to be better. To love yourself. Respect yourself. And please, please. Treat people with kindness”

And maya never forgot that. She eventually calmed down, went to therapy. Helped her brother with school and stuff a mother and father should be doing. But her dad was depressed. He knew this was coming, but he lost the love of his life. But soon everything went back to whatever normal was. Her dad would smile. Toby would ask about their mum, but no one would cry. It took a good few years to mend their hearts, but they did that with, collette clearwaters words:

“I need you to be better. To love yourself. Respect yourself”

The next time Harry and maya met, Harry had crossed the line and maya had, had enough. She was completely done with Harry styles.

Maya had a rough day. She failed a maths test she thought she’d aced. Her roommate was moving out and on top of that her dads birthday was in two days and she couldn’t reach the shops because her car broke down, and she forgot to bring money for the bus. She had to walk to college, in the rain. All her books and clothes were soaked, and her poor straightened hair was no more.

She needed a friend, so she texted sarah before walking to her house. She never ever did this, just show up. But she needed some friend cuddles and a warm cup of tea. She arrived to Sarah’s house 10 minutes later with still no text. She didn’t want to be rude, but she really just needed someone. Maya knocked on Sarah’s front door.

Sarah opened it excited, confused and a little worried.

“H....hi.... i texted but you um didn’t reply so so i....i thought i could stop by, maybe?” Maya stuttered. Sarah smiled warmly at maya pulling her into a hug. “No need to text. I’m always here for you love, whenever” Sarah replied rubbing maya’s back.

“it’s just harrys here, and i know the two of you don’t really get on” Sarah stated and maya bit her lip. She really needed this. She didn’t want to be in a mood when her dad got home. So she nodded “it’s ok. I’m sure he can put his hatred for me away for today”

Maya walked in hand in hand with Sarah, Harry’s band looking up immediately. They all greeted you with an unsure look, looking between you and Harry. You smiled at them all including Harry, but he just scowled. Her smile immediately dropped, Sarah pulling her to the sofa beside her boyfriend Mitch.

“What’s stick doing here?” Harry asked with a half smirk. The tension was now very clear in the room. “I’m not a stick Harry” maya replied biting her lip once again. She was probably going to lead a lot of Vaseline after this conversation. “hmm y’sure” he asked rolling his eyes.

maya sighed leaning back into the sofa grabbing the pillow beside and tried covering her body with it. The room was silent and uncomfortable, before Harry opened his mouth again. “i asked you a question.” Harry said leaning his elbow on his leg, holding up his head.

maya shook her head, again biting her lip, and sighed. “I just had a rough day, needed some company. s’all” maya mumbled seeing Harry roll his green eyes once again.

“What are you gonna cry again?”

“Everytime i open my mouth, you cry. It honestly getting old maya! cut the act” Harry said leaning back. Maya sighed her eyes once again, filling with tears. “We don’t have time for this, go on home and cry to your mummy instead” he said and Sarah gasped.

“Harry” she yelled trying to grab your hand as you stood up with a sob.

“I don’t know what I’ve done to you Harry. But I’m so sorry. For whatever i did. I really am. But when you bring my family into whatever sick hatred you have with me, is where i draw the fucking line”. Maya said with tears running down her face. Harry looked almost shocked and upset?

“My mums dead harry”

The room was immediately silenced and Harry let out a curse as he stood up.

“M...maya”

“No! No! You don’t get to apologise and pity me once you figure out my mother is dead” maya yelled waving her hands around as he walked closer to her. “You have hurt me Harry. You really have. Don’t ever fucking come near me again” maya said grabbing her bag before running out of her friends house.

“Fuck”

A week later Harry had tried to reach maya a total of 456 ways. He had texted her and phoned her and tried to get her when she was out and about. He even went to her house. He even wrote her letters? This boy was truly sorry. He hadn’t stopped to think about the possibilities of her losing his number. Or him putting in the wrong number. Or maybe she just wasn’t interest. And lastly, maybe she did forget. And he should’ve been ok way that. But Harry wasn’t. He hated her. He hated her so much, and now he can’t stand the thought of her hating him. Of her doing the same thing he did to her.

The only way he was sure this apology would be written well, would be through a song. Something he was quite good at. You could really feel the emotion from the song when he preformed it with the band. It was named fine line. Quite depressing but happy and the same time.

Sarah wasn’t sure when Harry tried to persuade her into giving maya the song. But when Harry started crying her eyes widened and grabbed the paper before dropping the note in maya’s bag. She knew maya wouldn’t take it, even from her.

So she snuck it into her science notes in her bag, a place she knew maya would look today.

And Sarah was right of course.

Maya saw the note. And at first she wa confused. But then she read the note, telling her to plug the disc in and listen carefully.

‘ put a price on emotion ‘

Maya let out a strangled sigh as she heard the voice of Harry. Her eyes filling up with tears as she listened to the song.

‘ we’ll be alright ’

Maya picked up her phone sobbing as she looked for the number Harry rang her with.

She nodded when he picked up letting out a sob.

‘ we’ll be a fine line. We’ll be alright ‘

[immortalbarnes]

The Auction

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You attend one of Tony Stark’s infamous fundraisers and meet a mysterious Avenger

Warnings: Swearing, SMUT (unprotected sex, female receiving oral)

A/N: this is my submission for @ugh-supersoldiers​‘ 5k writing challenge! i’m still pretty new at writing smut, so feedback is greatly appreciated!

Fuck parties. You’ve hated parties since highschool. You’ve always been more into intimate get togethers, or just alone time. That’s probably how you climbed your way to riches, now being the CEO and founder of a multi-million dollar technology startup you began senior year. You were too busy creating the next best selling product online to attend parties, but now that you’re somebody in America’s capitalistic society, you need to give yourself a good image to keep your business afloat.

That’s why you’re sucking it up and attending Tony Stark’s fundraiser tonight.

Honestly? You’ve never been the biggest fan of the billionaire, but he was a fun guy nevertheless, and his parties weren’t unbearable, so you decided to stick it out for a few hours, bid at the auction to save the pandas or whatever this was for, and sneak your way onto some tech blogs to help your reputation flourish.

Of course, you have to look good, so you slip on a black chiffon mini dress from Prada. It’s sheer at the top, and drops down to your midthigh, for long gowns were never your thing. You add some red bottom pumps to match. Your stylist gives you loose curls to wear down, and a minimal eye look, but adds red lipstick for drama.

“Thanks, Kayla,” You say as you pay her for her services, “it’s rare I ever go to these things.”

Arriving at the event at the Avengers Compound, you instantly swerve through the crowd, making it to the balcony as soon as possible. You’ve never been a drinker, and the bar and dance floor were always too crowded, so you decide to reside outside until the charity auction begins. Leaning over the ledge, you overhear the infamous Mr. Stark. Looking to your left, you see him persuading another brooding character that looks like they have the same thought process as you.

“C’mon, Barnes! It’s one night, and maybe you can find a special someone!” Stark entices.

“No thanks, it’s one thing to convince me to participate in this stupid auction, so don’t keep pushing it.” The man replies, eventually the light catches on his left hand, the metal revealing that it’s none other than The Winter Soldier.

“Whatever, if you want Sam and Steve, they’ll be at the bar.” Tony begins to walk away before you catch his eye, you try to avert your eyes, but he’s too quick, “Y/N! So glad you could make it!” He strides over to you, so you force a smile and turn to lean your back against the glass wall protecting you from the edge of the flooring.

“Pleasure to see you tonight, Stark, why are you out here?”

“Just trying to get grandpa over there to cheer up, but I should be asking you the same question, Y/L/N, there’s a whole bar and dance floor in there!”

“Never been a drinker, so I’m just waiting for the auction, so we can save some pandas.”

“Turtles, actually, but may I interest you in my pal, Mr. Barnes over there? You both seem like the loner type, and I wouldn’t dream of leaving either of you alone on a night like this!”

You begin to protest, but he already has you by the wrist, dragging you across the balcony to Bucky, you stumbling over your too-tall heels until you’re face to face with the Soldier. He’s wearing a black suit with a black dress shirt and no tie. Your eyes meet his crystal blue ones, his hair that reaches his shoulders is slicked back perfectly,  he has a bit of a stubble on his strong jawline, and right now you’re realizing how gorgeous this deadly man truly is.

“Bucky, I’d like you to meet a very special friend of mine, this is Y/N Y/L/N, founder of Y/L/N Corp.” Tony introduces.

“Oh yea, your company is like Starks, except better!” The brunet chuckles. You notice that his eyes crinkle a little bit, making your heart flutter, “Nice to meet you, doll.” He seems a lot happier than he was earlier when conversing with Tony alone, but who could blame him.

“Pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Barnes.” You finally manage to get out.

“Wow, you just met, and are already in better moods. Thanks to me! Keep staring in each other’s eyes, I’ll see you at the auction.” Tony says before returning back inside.

“So what brings you to the balcony?” Bucky asks.

“Never been a huge party person, just here for the charity shit.”

“Me too pretty much. My friends are inside, probably at the bar, but alcohol has no effect on me, so there’s no point in wasting the booze.”

“Oh, you’re bidding?”

“No, I’m part of the auction. Stark convinced all of the Avengers to be part of the prizes to bid on. Sam’s doing flying lessons, Natasha’s doing a yoga session, I think Wanda’s doing a cooking class, and so on.”

“What are you doing? I might just have to bid…” He laughs, and once again you’re paying attention to the crinkles near his eyes when he smiles.

“A date, sadly. I wanted to do a training session or gun range lessons, but Steve already called the training and Tony said that guns are too controversial,” He sighs, “plus apparently I need to put myself out there more. Believe it or not, I used to have game… in the forties.”

“I’ll bid on you, so you won’t have to deal with some rich cuck’s wife drooling over you for two hours.” You reassure him.

“Hey, if you win, I wouldn’t complain about going on a date with you.”

“Really?”

“Of course, darling, in fact, you don’t even have to-”

Before he could finish his statement, you hear someone call for him,

“Buck! We gotta go backstage, the auction is about to start!” You turn and see Steve Rogers poking his head out the glass double doors.

“Well, see you after the bidding, doll.” He winks and walks off with Captain America.

Maybe this party isn’t so bad afterall.

…

Not long after Bucky leaves, Tony on a mic calls all to the auction room. A sea of chair being filled by America’s richest lay before a small stage holding Tony Stark with his microphone. You pick up a paddle by the door and choose a seat somewhere in the middle of the crowd.

First up to bid on are small gadgets and technology Stark invented, you don’t bid on any because you could make something better in a heartbeat. After they’re all gone, Tony speaks,

“Tonight, we have a special collection of auction prizes. A plethora of classes and experiences with none other than Earth’s mightiest heroes… The Avengers!”

The crowd erupts in applause and excitement of the news. You shift in your seat, nervous for the bidding on Bucky to begin.

First is archery lessons with Clint, then yoga with Natasha, cooking with Wanda, then finally Tony leads out Bucky,

“Now ladies and, well, ladies, your chance at a date with the Avenger’s most eligible bachelor; Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes!” He earns himself an elbow from Bucky at that comment, “Okay! Let’s start the bidding at $500!”

You sit and wait for the early bids, knowing you can easily outdo any of them. Once the bidding reaches $3,000, you lift your paddle.

“$3,500 for Ms. Y/L/N over there, can we get $3,750?” Another paddle raises, and another bringing it to $4,000.

“$5,000!” You shout and raise your paddle.

“$5,000 from Ms. Y/L/N!”

“$7,000!” All heads turn to the other side of the room, where a girl with dirty blonde hair in a bun is raising her paddle. Her name is Sarah Palmer, and if there’s anyone you fucking hate, it’s Sarah Palmer. She hasn’t done as much as lift her finger her entire life, for all her money comes from her daddy. Your eyes meet Bucky’s panicked ones as he silently pleads for you to outbid that spoiled brat.

“$7,500!” You call out.

“$10,000!” Sarah calls back, you meet her glare from across the room.

“This bitch wants to play dirty…” You mutter, “$15,000!” You rarely spend unnecessary money, but this wasn’t just for you, it was to save Bucky… and also the turtles.

“$20,000!” She calls out after you. You gulp and almost accept defeat, until you remember you’re a goddamn millionaire, so what’s a few thousand to help out a new friend?

“$30,000!”

“$30,000 from Ms. Y/L/N! Going once… going twice… going-”

“$35,000!” Sarah screeches, she must have had to ask daddy if that was too much.

“For fucks sake, $40,000!” You yell, hoping that pushes her out of the running. You look over to her asking her father if she can go any higher, but he shakes his head no. Meaning you won.

“Alright!” Tony says, “$40,000 going once, twice, sold!” He bangs his gavel on his podium, “A date with the handsome Mr. Barnes is all yours, Miss Y/L/N.” Sighing, you sit back down in your seat, meeting eyes with Bucky as he gives you a grateful smile.

…

After the rest of the auction closes out, you go backstage to set up your date with the operations assistants. You see Bucky come up to you in the corner of your eye,

“You’re quite the firecracker aren’t you. I knew you were rich, but not $40,000 on a date with my old ass self rich!” He leans an arm on the wall and smiles.

“It wasn’t just for the date, it was for the turtles! And to save you from two hours with the demon spawn of Mr. Palmer.”

“Is she that bad?”

“She’s one of the rudest, most spoiled people I’ve ever met. She’s probably crying in the bathroom right now because daddy’s money wasn’t enough to win a night with you.”

“Speaking of a night with me, when do I get the pleasure of treating you like a queen?”

“Well, Barnes, the official date is next Saturday, but you can treat me anyway you want any night you’d like.” You wink.

He smiles and bites his lips, “Then why are we still here? My room is two floors up.”

“Lead the way, Sargeant.” Saying that earns a devilish growl from him as he grabs your wrist and drags you out of the backstage area. The trip to the elevator consists of weaving through the crowded dance floor of the main room, and one the way, you catch the puffy eyes of one Sarah Palmer, who glares daggers at you. You throw her a wink before Bucky tugs you into the elevator.

As soon as the doors close, his lips are on yours, soft and plump, he kisses you so hard that you’re taken aback for a moment, but soon return the gesture. His hands grab your hips ferociously and pull you in. Luckily with your heels, you reach him just fine. Only pulling apart once the elevator dings and he grabs you by the wrist once more and pulls you down the hall into his room.

“FRIDAY, lock the door.” He says, then he throws you on the bed like a ragdoll. You kick off your heels and watch Bucky stalk towards you on the bed, lips slightly red from your lipstick. He pulls his jacket and shoes off when he reaches you, and then he pulls your dress over your head, revealing your matching black lacy bra and underwear, “Oh, doll,” he purrs, “You look marvelous.”

You blush a little as he reaches around you a unclasp your bra with the utmost ease, “Wow, Mr. Barnes, and you said you had no game.”

“I might be a little rusty, so bear with me.” He chuckles as he begins to unbutton his shirt, pulling it off you can’t help but gasp as he reveals his god-like build. Golden abs, an impeccable chest leading to brutal scarring connecting his mortality to his black and gold vibranium arm.

“Is… this okay?” He pauses as he catches you staring.

“O-of course! You’re just so gorgeous I wasn’t ready for it.”

At that he smirks and begins to undo his belt and pants, revealing an incredible bulge straining against light gray boxer briefs. Bucky then pushes you against the comforter and attacks your exposed breasts. His hot tongue on your right while his cool metal arm caresses your left. He swirls around your nipple before switching to the other side, every small movement coaxing a moan out of you.

“God, doll, your tits are so fucking perfect,” he says as he nuzzles in your cleavage and plants kisses on the soft skin, his long hair tickling you. He begins to press kisses down your stomach towards where you’re wanting him most. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he bites the top of your panties and pulls them down and kneels on the floor, his eyes not leaving yours. You swear that it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.

Bucky’s mouth comes back up and instantly latches onto your clit, and you scream in pleasure as he flicks his tongue over your sensitive nub. It trails down toward your hole and he begins to fuck you with his talented tongue. Your thighs are trembling and squeeze around his head, his eyes look back up at you and you feel him smirk against your core. His hands go up to hook them under your thighs and pull them apart so he can fuck you deeper with him tongue.

“Oh- oh my God, Bucky!” You whine. Electricity pulses through you as you climb to your first orgasm, legs shaking even harder around his head. At once, everything rushes out when you hit your high, but the soldier helps you ride it out, licking bold stripes up and down your core, cleaning up your juices.

“The sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.” Bucky says as he stands up to tower over you, his scruff slick with your arousal.

Pulling down his own boxers, he uncages his impressive cock, which has you watering at the mouth, “Like what you see, darling?” He smirks at your slack jaw.

“Oh my god, Bucky, fuck me, please.”

He basically pounces on you, enclosing you between his arms, voice low and gravelly, he purrs, “Beg for me, princess.” Your lips barely brush against each other.

“Bucky, baby, please, I can’t take it! Please fuck me with your fat cock!” You choke out.

“Your wish is my command.” He says as he slowly slides into you, stretching you out so well.

“Holy hell, Barnes.” You moan as his pelvis reaches you, his tip almost hitting your womb. He gives you a moment to adjust to him, but soon enough you're begging for him to move, “Move, please.”

Smirking he slowly begins to slide in and out, the pace painfully slow. You know he’s teasing you from the devilish look on his face, and you’re having none of it, so you begin to grind against him.

“No, no, no, doll.” He growls, “I’m in charge here.” He places his metal hand on your hip to still you.

“Then please move faster!” You plead.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”

At that, he begins to relentlessly pound into you, shaking you to your core. Grunts and whines come out of both of you with every thrust that makes a harmony that’s music to Bucky’s ears. Keeping eye contact with you the whole time, you fall limp in his gaze and become mush in his hold.

The electricity begins to run through you once more and you feel the knot build in you again as you reach your climax.

“Bucky, baby, I’m so c-close!” You can barely make out.

“Come for me doll. Should I pull out?”

“N-no! I’m on the pill. Want you to fill me up, Barnes.”

“On the count of three, baby, come with me.”

You squeeze your eyes shut as you prepare for your orgasm.

“One”

He strikes into you mercilessly, pulling everything you have out of you.

“Two”

It’s felt like years, as you open your eyes and meet his gaze once more. His pupils are blown as he studies your blissed out face.

“One.”

Everything within you releases, and same with him. His white hot seed erupts within you. It feels like pure magic.

“Oh my god.” You breathe out. He collapses next to you, panting.

“Doll, you’re fucking incredible. You are a firecracker.”

“So worth $40k.” You laugh.

“Oh, Y/N, that wasn’t even the date.” He chuckles, “Just wait until Saturday, when you see what blowing $40,000 on James Barnes gets you.”

“All for the turtles.”

[casually-inlove]

I'm a bit curious about the change in He Tian's attitude towards Mo in some earlier 2016 moments. He looked like he was playing around with Mo and even taunt him then, but the kiss came out of nowhere, and he is now having a crush on the boy. What do you think that makes him interested in Mo in the first place, and at which point did he start taking their friendship seriously, and started loving Mo?

Hey there, anon!

That’s a fabulous question actually. At some point, I also wondered what it was that made He Tian interested in Momo to begin with, or when this transition actually happened, and I was addling my head a lot over it, lol. I can only speculate here, but nonetheless here goes.

First of all, let’s take a look at how OX initially presented He Tian. We saw a wealthy, privileged and somewhat snobbish boy, who enjoyed top grades and enduring popularity among other students. Hell, even the teachers were fond of him, while girls flocked around He Tian every break. Whatever he said or mentioned was being met with giggles and bashful sighs. You get the picture. 

Unfortunately, it’s all but a pretty wrapping. In reality, none of those people knows who He Tian really is. We as readers know that in fact, He Tian suffers from profound loneliness. We know that despite all that money, he barely has any noteworthy personal possessions. That he still experiences the aftershocks of childhood traumas. That his relationships with his family are deeply fractured. People who surround He Tian on a daily basis could be described as sycophants. Their adoration towards him is pretty shallow. They are so crazy about him why exactly? Because he’s handsome, rich, popular, etc. Not saying that it’s a bad reason to like someone, but it’s not particularly meaningful either.

Anyway, this leads me to my main point. He Tian is used to that sort of shallow attention and plays along with it for his own reasons. He’s used to people nearly applauding him for whatever he does. He’s used to people wanting to be near him. If we think back to his childhood, we’ll see that instead of a mother he had been (apparently) surrounded by maids (?), who were hired to care for him (and that’s apparently why he’s so bad at house chores, haha). 

Case and point: he’s used to being in the center of attention and having people bend over to his whims.

And then… cue Mo Guan Shan, who gives zero fucks about He Tian. Who gives zero fucks about his popularity or his money, who has the balls to tell him to bugger off in the rudest ways possible. Momo doesn’t dance to his tune, and that’s something new to He Tian, something he hadn’t experienced before.

So… Momo comes off as belligerent, dirty-mouthed school bully who is contemptuous towards those rich and powerful (he has reasons for that, but still Momo’s view is tinted through his own childhood experiences). There’s raw honesty in Mo Guan Shan and that initially fascinates He Tian. Let’s admit it: He Tian comes off as being bored or somewhat indifferent towards life. The fact that there’s one person who doesn’t bow and kowtow before him is refreshing. That’s probably one of the reasons why He Tian hires Mo to cook and clean for him in the first place. He’s bored and Mo is the cure to his boredom. A cure that runs his mouth, threatens to knock his teeth out and outright calls him fake and dangerous, haha.

If I were to give a Tvtrope to this one, it would be “I love you because I can’t control you”. He Tian cannot approach MGS normally, like how he would have approached anyone else. Friendly attitude doesn’t work with him. Momo truly reminds me of a stray dog that is used to people treating it so badly that it would bite the hand that tried to pet it. There’s also a matter of MGS being very prideful. That raw honesty of his doesn’t fade away even when He Tian gives him beatings or pays him to do house chores. Sure, he takes the money but he never sugarcoats his attitude, never hides his distaste for He Tian and people like him. He makes it clear that he HATES every second of being near HT or in his apartment, yet he manages to put it aside when needed. 

Anyway, I digress. I believe that fascination on He Tian’s part had been rather instantaneous. It may have very well happened during the fight between XiXi and MGS. Momo has shown that he didn’t follow any rules, and literally had a savagely pragmatic side to him (when he used a stone to hit XiXi). That was probably the moment when HT’s curiosity was aroused. He’s not used to seeing people like that.

The kiss scene is also very telling. From the easiness with which He Tian invades personal bubbles of the others, we can surmise that he thinks it’s no big deal, and if it’s no big deal to him, he literally thinks it’s the same way for everyone else. As I mentioned before, he’s used to people being willing to “give in” to him, hence he seems to have a mindset that he can take whatever he wants (like a spoiled brat, haha) and that nobody ever would mind — precisely because they are willing to begin with. This fails with MGS. Not only he reacts violently, he begins crying. That’s absolutely not the kind of reaction He Tian was expecting; you can blatantly see it written all over his face. He even asks Momo if he finds HT disgusting. 

I believe that’s when He Tian actually felt a pang of guilt for his doings. The way Mo Guan Shan reacted is extremely human and understandable. Someone he DESPISED came up and forcefully pushed their tongue into his mouth, forced him into a kiss that is by all means just another taunt or a joke, not to mention that by the looks of it, it was his first kiss — something that in many cultures is considered to be nearly sacred. And He Tian probably for the first time in his life experienced a rejection. He wanted someone who didn’t want him, and there’s nothing his cool reputation or money could do about it. He also realized that he disgusted somebody — also something new to him. The novelty of it all, the unexpected guilt — these are the new feelings in his otherwise stale daily life. Mo Guan Shan made him experience something dramatically different.

Another point is that there are rather obvious parallels drawn between Momo and that puppy He Tian used to care for. He saved that puppy from a violent mountain torrent and nursed it back to health, just like he saved Mo from She Li and the angry mob later. He Tian’s failure to protect that puppy from “death” (like He Cheng made him believe) is one of the unresolved issues of his past, which he tries to rectify (or I should rather say, prevent from repeating itself) with Mo Guan Shan. Subconsciously he might be projecting that dog onto Mo Guan Shan, although he seems to be very much aware of his own associations, as he calls Momo his puppy.

During the time He Tian spends taunting and forcing Mo to do stuff, he learns things that make him admire Mo. Like Mo’s refusal to sugarcoat his attitude, the fact that he’s shouldering a heavy financial burden, that he’s actually extremely hardworking, that he has pride and doesn’t entertain shallow ideas of being someone’s monkey on a display even for a princely reward. He Tian discovers traits that he likes. He Tian discovers that under that hard-shell hides someone very honest and raw.

Lastly, if you think about it, Momo and He Tian are somewhat very similar: both of them have been marked by isolation. Mo has been ostracized because of his father’s imprisonment, and grew up being mistreated by likes of She Li and possibly looked down on due to his poverty. He’s withdrawn into a shell out of fear of being hurt, and he the way he views others is marked by suspicion and trust issues. He’s used to people acting nasty to him and, as sad as it sounds, to Mo this is a normal occurrence. What’s abnormal and suspicious is when somebody pulls a random act of kindness on him. And that’s what makes him think “why? what’s their agenda? what’s the catch?”. He Tian, on the other hand, is isolated because of his money and family influence. People who surround him are sycophants, those fangirls and fanboys, whereas in reality not only they don’t care for who he is, they probably wouldn’t even believe if he admitted to being a broken bird. Cause that’s unfathomable, right? Someone who has been born with a silver spoon in their mouth cannot be unhappy or hurting or alone. On top of that, he also has experienced his trust shattered, by his older brother, no less. He feels betrayed. He Tian is just as lonely — if not more — as Momo. So I guess that makes them — two coyotes from the same hill? Or how that Chinese “two peas in the pod/birds of a feather flock together” saying goes, haha. But even still, Momo has something that He Tian never had: someone to love and fight for (Mo’s mom), a home where he’s cherished. I think on subconscious level He Tian craves that, and Momo enables him to vicariously live that life he never had. Does it even make sense? xD

At which point He Tian’s playing around grew into something more serious? I think the kiss episode was akin to a bucket of cold water doused over He Tian’s head that made him reconsider some of his ways. What really triggered his desire to help MGS was probably the plot devised by She Li and the consequent fight. It may have made him suspect that MGS with his financial issues is far more vulnerable to shady vultures than he initially thought and that MGS is walking on an edge here. A little push to the wrong side and he would end up in deep shit. It’s after that fight that He Tian realizes how much Momo is shouldering by himself, and it’s then when we see him try helping him, like getting him a part-time job in that photography studio. Incidentally, it’s also when he’s started to find out Momo’s other sides. Like him being industrious, or unwilling to entertain an idle crowd of onlookers, etc.

Undoubtedly, He Tian’s feelings grew after the mob fight, where Momo got badly injured. We actually see him scared of losing MGS. Not to mention his consequent visit to his father — well they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder. It’s also clear to me that Momo’s display of care (during He Tian’s nightmare) had a big impact on HT. That’s when his violent tendencies of forcing Mo gradually fizzled out and became a lot more playful.

So all in all, He Tian probably started to gain feelings once he realized that Momo had his reasons to act like a delinquent, and that underneath it all there lay a person with integrity, who had been simply disenchanted by life and the circumstances that befell on his shoulders.

Whelp, that’s again a long-ass post. These are but my speculations and I don’t aspire for it to be 100% accurate, but I think I jammed in most of my ideas here.

[infinitum-imaginaerum]

DK | A.19 “Please don’t leave.” | @daehyun-naekkoya

Words | 3,500

Warnings | Angst... ouch. Some curse words. Mentions of implications of cheating???

Notes | All relationships have problems, kiddos. Be sure to talk to your partner about EVERYTHING. And that’s Ailea’s mom advice for the day. 

PLEASE CHECK THE STATUS OF THE GAME AT THE TOP OF THE PROMPT LIST BEFORE REQUESTING.

Send me a bias, a section, and a number and I’ll write you a thing!

Tensions between you and DK were continually getting worse. Even though you both had tried your best to be understanding with the other and calmly work through your problems, everything seemed to be becoming more and more significant of an offense and you were determined to figure out why. He began picking fights with you over the tiniest things, no matter how insignificant—it was as if he was constantly I the most horrible mood of his life.

He never seemed to be happy to see you anymore. Doing anything with or for you seemed like a chore. Overall, he appeared to be disinterested in the relationship. It hurt your heart to ever think that he would be this way; at the very least you assumed that he was man enough to talk to you about what he was feeling, about what was going on between the two of you so it felt as though there was something else eating him that he began taking out on you.

Either way, you were going to get to the bottom of it. He was silent throughout dinner, despite your vain attempts to make conversation and ended up clearing your place far before you were even finished with your own plate—that’s how fed up you were with the tension. The leftovers were put into a container as you began cleaning your plate and retrieved DK’s soon after.

“Finished?” you asked, even though you knew he wasn’t. If he was going to act this way then two could play at this game, considering you had already asked him multiple times what was causing the distress with no good reply to come from it. If he wanted to be petty, you could be petty, too. Usually, he didn’t want to play that game because you could easily out stubborn his soft-heartedness. Perhaps not this time.

“Actually, no,” he replied snippily. You took his plate anyway, scraping his leftovers into the same container as your own, ignoring his answer to the question you weren’t really expecting an answer for, since it wasn’t a question that wanted an answer.

With pursed lips, you washed his plate and put everything away. Usually DK did the dishes if you cooked—that was the agreement you had—but you just didn’t have the patience to sit at that table with him and have him stonewall you the entirety of dinner. Conversation was already scarce at the table as it was, only becoming more so the longer time went on.

“What is with your attitude?” he asked.

You had to scoff and almost dropped the plate in your hand into the scalding water in the sink.

“My attitude?” you asked, as if he had just said something totally mind boggling—and it was. The only one with attitude around there for the longest time was him before you were done putting up with it, and today had been the last straw.

“Yeah, that’s what I said, your attitude.”

“Is this the hill you want to die on, Dokyeom?” you asked him and gently set the plate in the sink before turning in his direction with a hand on your hip.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked you from the kitchen table.

“You’re the first to jump on me about an attitude without checking your own. You think I would have an attitude with you if you didn’t have one first? I’ve done nothing but ask you what’s wrong for I can’t remember how long now and you typically meet me with silence and you want to know what’s with my attitude?”

He gave you the rudest look, one you were convinced his face couldn’t even make.

“And why would I have an attitude with you, I wonder,” he replied as if you were supposed to know the answer to that rhetorical question.

“I don’t know, because you don’t love me anymore? If you felt that way, then we should have talked about it like adults, like the man I know you are!” you yelled, finally having enough of his petulant attitude.

This time, he scoffed and looked away from you. He shook his head, as if in disbelief, as he soaked in your words. “It’s funny that you even say that,” he replied with a laugh but you knew it wasn’t because it was funny, it was because he was pissed as all hell, “because all this time, you’re the one who has fallen out of love with me.”

“That’s absurd!” you defended yourself,  “I have done nothing but try to work this out while you’ve just sat around and sneered at my very existence for what feels like months!”

“You have betrayed me in every deep way possible! How could I even consider that you still love me after you’d hurt me like that!”

You weren’t really sure what he was even going off about; but it must have been something really bad for him to even say that.

“You won’t even tell me what I did to hurt you like this!” you yelled back, the frustration growing just as your tears were, stinging your eyes as you wouldn’t dare let them fall.

“I really shouldn’t have to tell you. You know what you did, what you’re doing!”

You rolled your eyes. Not because you were fed up with what he was saying, but because you couldn’t possible fathom what you had even done that was so offensive. He looked heartbroken, sitting in that chair in front of you refusing to even look in your direction.

“I’m honestly surprised you haven’t left yet,” he replied calmly, but you could feel the grit of his teeth in his words, the strain in his throat as he did his best not to cry, despite the tears cropping up against his waterline. You could see on his profile as he continued to look away from you, his arms now crossed over his chest. It was very unlike him to cry, but instead of worrying about that, all you could do was stand there, astounded.

“I’m sorry, if you wanted me to leave, that’s all you had to say. I’ll go pack my bags,” you said, drying your hands off on a dish towel that you soon angrily discarded onto the kitchen counter and booked it passed him to the bedroom to haul a large suitcase from the closet. You’d only be able to get about half of your things in that suitcase, but it would give you enough to stay with someone else while you figured out what you were going to do.

You could distinctly heart the screech of his chair against the dining room floor, but it didn’t matter too much as you tried to push the tears back, your heart beginning to shatter in your chest. How could he cast you aside so easily, so nonchalantly? After all the two of you had been through, after everything you’d grown through together, after DK had displayed to you on multiple occasions that the two of you could work through anything together and he basically just told you to get out.

He leaned against the door frame, the wood creaking under his weight as he watched you. You did your best to ignore him, to continue to pack as if he wasn’t destroying you just standing there, not saying anything. When you finally had bustled around the room enough to collect the essentials, you zipped your bag and dropped it to the floor with a grunt—it perhaps weighed at least half of you—before you finally looked at him.

Tears were streaking down his once immaculate cheeks, his eyes were puffy, his lips pursed in a hard line and his jaw tense.

“I’ll be by with a moving truck in the coming week, if you’d kindly hold my stuff until then.” Your voice was rough, cutting DK like a knife and he let out perhaps the most desperate gasp any man could followed by a harsh sob.

You couldn’t stand to see him cry, so you did your best to look away from him as you reached up to push the tears that had escaped off your cheek and proceeded to push passed him with the suitcase. He followed you out to the front door.

“That’s it? You’re going to walk out that door without so much as an explanation!”

With fists clenched, about to lose your entire shit, you turned to him. “Explain what DK? I don’t even know what I did, and despite my best efforts to ask you thousands of times and try to work this out with you, you’ve stonewalled me! Clearly, you want me to leave. Clearly, I have totally broken you! And you don’t deserve that. Whatever I have done, I truly am sorry.”

“You’re really going to stand there and deny the fact that you’ve been seeing someone else?”

If your head could have popped off your shoulders, it would have. If you weren’t lost before, you sure were now.  “You’re going to stand there and blatantly deny sending affectionate text messages to another man, sending hearts and shit to him—you’re going to try and leave here without saying shit about that to me?”

“What the actual fuck are you talking about?”

“I can’t even believe you!” he screamed—never had he raised his voice like that at you, and it honestly made you quiver; your knees buckled a bit as you shrunk under his intense gaze.  You couldn’t think to do anything else except whip your phone out of your pocket and tentatively try to give it to him.

“Show me,” you requested gently.

He all but snatched your phone from your hands, unlocking it with your anniversary as your passcode, which he was surprised it still was. Dokyeom looked furious, tears trickling down his cheeks, off his chin, off his nose, tears he was furiously trying to push away as he perused your phone to the messaging app and quickly pulled up the thread to shove it back in your face after reading the most recent messages.

“You’re even going to meet with him this weekend! And you have the audacity to stand here and lie to my face!”

You took the phone back from him to look at the thread. Simultaneously relieved and furious, you blinked hard, keeping your eyes closed for a good few moments before opening them again to look at the love of your life who you really wanted to punch in the face.

The situation was hard to take. On the one hand, it was a misunderstanding. But on the other hand, it displayed the fragility of your relationship. Not that you would ever accuse him of snooping through your phone, because you trusted him, but he should have trusted you enough that you could allow him to snoop through your phone. To be honest, he probably saw a message that prompted the snooping—either way, maybe he didn’t love you the way he claimed. The deeper you thought about it, the more problematic the situation became.

“Dokyeom,” you spoke calmly, “if you would have just asked…” you trailed off, too frustrated to even begin explaining.

“I didn’t want to ask! I had hoped that you would have come clean with me! I thought you loved me…”

“Dokyeom, I love you with my entire heart,” you replied with a crack in your voice, a different type of tears stinging your eyes and felt like lava down your cheeks. “Dummy is my brother, you idiot,” you added, referring to the contact name you had him under. “He just moved to the city, I told you that months ago. I have every right to text my brother whatever I want; I have every right to meet my brother whenever I want.”

His jaw just about unhinged. Maybe he had realized that this uncovered the fragility of your relationship, too.

“If you would have just… asked me, Dokyeom…”

All you could feel was hurt. Your heart ached for a different reason. He actually believed that you were immoral enough of a person to cheat on him and try to keep the gig up. Many things were becoming difficult because of this tiny misunderstanding.

“Duchess, I—”

“Don’t duchess me, Dokyeom,” you replied, spitting fire.  In all honesty, you kind of wanted to leave at this point.

“I’m sorry,” he uttered, almost inaudibly as you stood there thinking about what to do. “You have every right to talk to him any way you want, I just—”

“You just didn’t ask, didn’t trust me, and pinned me as an immoral witch,” you interrupted.

He muttered your name, but wouldn’t dare reach for you. He could see that you were almost shaking, and desperately wanted to take that all away, but the things that you just told him ripped his heart right out of his chest and stomped on it.

“The thought that I would ever cheat on you means you don’t trust me. Maybe it would be better for both of us—”

“Please, don’t leave!” he cried, a broken screech that echoed through your apartment and followed by muffled sobs as he covered his mouth.  It hurt more than anything, watching him cry so harshly. He was shaking, your rock. You never saw him this way, he felt desperate, especially when he dropped to his knees unable to stand anymore.

He was shaking like crazy, frantic, holding himself tightly since he knew you wouldn’t. His sobs were silent, but the tears were relentless on his face.  All you could really do was look down at him and wait for him to say something, anything, because even though you wanted nothing more than to hold him, than to make it all go away, your feet felt bolted to the floor.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry! I was so scared; I saw one message and my whole life fell apart. I should have asked you, I should have! I couldn’t think, I could barely breathe through the heartache. Eventually I just started believing it, and stopped doubting because it seemed easier to swallow in the long run. I didn’t want to be a fool, but I ended up suffering twice and while I deserve it, please don’t leave,” he explained to the best of his ability despite his quivering breaths and his weak state.

“Dokyeom… You should have just asked…” you replied, trying to stall until your anger subsided.

“I know! I’m sorry, I’m such an idiot! But you are my life, and the thought of that crumbling so easily hurt more than I can explain!” he hollered through tears, doubling over to the ground at your feet. He looked pathetic, but if everything he was saying was true—and you were inclined to believe him—you didn’t blame him. As much as his whole life was falling apart, his heart crumbling in his chest, so was yours. Life without him had become obsolete.

“You were supposed to be my forever,” you replied, the tears finally silently escaping unrestricted down your cheeks and off your chin onto the tiled floor in front of you.

“I still want to be,” he squeaked. “This whole thing was a misunderstanding and I still am so in love with you, even if all of it was true. I want you to be my forever.” He peered up at you, gaining enough control to push himself back up to his knees.

“This is going to put a strain on this relationship we will have to work on overdrive to fix; you know that, right? This has caused a lot of damage—the implications of your assumptions…”

To him, it sounded like you were negotiating why it would be better to just leave. He shook his head and dared to crawl up to your feet.

“If I have to prove my love a thousand lifetimes over, I would do it with a smile. There is nothing I wouldn’t do. If it means we have to pull each other through it, I will lead as much as you need me to. If the damage was irreparable, I would still try my best,” he explained. The sincerity in his eyes was beyond enough. “Please… please…” he begged, and he never begged, “I love you, and I will only love you for the rest of my life.”

You couldn’t stand to see him cry anymore, and you were tired of him seeing you cry, so you reached out to take the back of his head, threading your fingers through his soft hair to tug his head into your torso to cradle it against you.  His hands, although tentative, rose to grab a hold of your hips as he turned his face into your body. Soft fingers stroked through his hair in such a calming manner, the type of calmness only you could grant him. Somehow, he could feel some semblance of forgiveness in that motion alone.

“Shall we continue the tradition?” you asked. He looked up at you, chin pressed into your torso as he blinked his tears back, but it didn’t stop you from taking his cheeks in both of your hands to brush his tears away with your thumbs.  “That is, if you can stand.”

Dokyeom rose to his feet to stand over you. You weren’t the kiss and make-up type when you fought; you had a different tradition that still displayed the affection but in perhaps a more appropriate manner. He took both of your hands to place them up on his shoulders and, after pushing your suitcase off to the side and took a few steps back, captured your waist with his arms.

His forehead was warm against yours, despite both of your faces being a thousand degrees from the welling of emotions. Naturally, your eyes fluttered closed and relished his closeness, his touch, his breath across your face and the emotion in his grasp.  

Tears finally faded being replaced with calm and calculated breaths. DK stepped gently with you from side to side, slowly leading you around the living room despite the lack of music. DK always said that the only music you needed was in your heart and that everything would come naturally.  The two of you relaxed into each other, letting the tension of the fight flow out to bring new, better energy back in.  There was no more correct place for you than being in his arms, it felt.

He danced with you until he was sure the water in the sink was cold and you had finally remembered. When you began to say something about the dishes, he hushed you, promised he would do them as long as you gave him a little more time and sunk his face into the crook of your neck until you were nagging him the way you always did. The saving grace for your OCD about the dishes as that they were at least soaking, instead of drying and getting crusty.  

After a bit, he conceded and took you into the kitchen with him. He did the dishes on the sole condition that you were snuggled into his back while he did so. You agreed and stood there with your arms lightly wrapped around his middle, head resting against his shoulder as he cleaned the dishes.

“I love you,” he reminded you, cleaning the last bits of silverware and glasses.

“I love you more than you may ever know,” you replied, pressing deeper into his back.

He helped you unpack your suitcase and stowed it back in the closer, doing everything you could together and even broke into tears a couple more times—it was going to be a process. The night was quiet, putting on a movie just to pass the time, really, as you cuddled on the couch, trying your best to mend the situation the best you could before facing a new day.

“I am so sorry,” he reminded you, brushing his nose against yours.

“We’ll get through it,” you responded and pressed your head into his shoulder.

“May I call you duchess?” he asked, stroking your cheek as he tried to look down at you.

“You know I love it when you do.”

You went to bed with him that night, a slight change from previous times when one of you opted to sleep on the couch to give the other some space when things did get heated even though they seldom did. It was different; there was an innate desire to stay with each other to help the healing process. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, somehow pretzel-ing his limbs with yours to wrap you up tight. Your hands carded through his hair, soothing yourself almost as much as it did him.

“We’ll get through it?” he grumbled.

“We’ll make it, baby.”

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

A Twist of Fate ch.25 -The Importance of Friendship

The Elementalist au

Beckett x MC (Oriana)

Words: 1518

No warnings I can think of

Series Master List

Master List

This AU is set after everyone graduates Penderghast, and Beckett and Oriana were never friends. Fate, however, may have a different plan for them.

  The next couple weeks flew by as his house officially turned into a home. Oriana had gone picture-happy, snapping lots of photos of the two of them and placing them in frames around the house. His neighbor gave them fresh flowers every week. Beckett was doing everything he could to make Oriana feel happy, safe, and loved. He’d wake up early and make breakfast, he’d make love to her as often as possible. They were happy, and when Saturday rolled around, Oriana decided it was time to confide in Zeph and Shreya. Beckett sat nervously next to her on the couch as they placed the laptop in front of them, dialing. A moment later, their smiling faces appeared on the screen, followed by a look of genuine surprise when they saw Beckett.

“Hey guys! God, I miss you so much!!” Oriana squealed. “I wish I could just hug you both!!!”

“Girl, no kidding. But we’ll be back soon, our journey is sadly coming to an end.” Shreya informed. “Beckett. I’m uh. A bit surprised to see you.”

“Hello Shreya, Zeph.” He nodded cordially. “I’m happy to see you looking so well. I can tell this trip has been good for you.”

Zeph blinked at him. “Um, yes, it’s been…really great…” He eyed Oriana. “You’re…glowing.”

“I’m happy.” She responded. “And, actually, that’s why we’re calling. We have news.” She flashed her ring in front of them, their gasps ringing through the speakers.

“Oh my god he knocked you up.”

Her face fell. “No, he didn’t. He proposed, and I said yes.” She looked at Beckett and he gave her a warm smile before she turned back to the screen. “You literally just said I was glowing. Maybe that’s because I’m genuinely happy for the first time in my life? And if you can’t get on board with that, then this will be the last time we speak until you can. Beckett is my life. I love him, I’m marrying him…he’s everything. And if you can’t see that then that’s your problem, not mine. But I really hope you can accept it because I need you guys at our wedding. You’re my best people.”

Both Shreya and Zeph were staring at her, eyes wide and jaws dropped. Beckett was so incredibly proud of her for sticking up for herself and what she wants. Ignoring the screen, he captured her lips with his own, and when they pulled back, both were smiling.

Zeph cleared his throat, bringing their attention back to the issue at hand. “You guys are serious.”

“Absolutely” Beckett told him. “We’ve discovered that we both already had feelings for each other, had a special connection. It’s grown exponentially since she’s moved in. I’d do anything to make her happy. If she’s not happy then neither am I. And I promise it will always be like this. I’ll never betray her, I’ll never hurt her. I’m not Chase, and I hate him for what he’s done to her over the years. She’s healing, but she needs you guys. So, what can I do to prove to you that this girl next to me is the love of my life?”

“I think you just did it.” Shreya said softly. “Ori you’ve never stood up for Chase the way you do for Beckett. And Chase definitely never said anything close to what he’s saying.” She started giggling. “Beckett fucking Harrington. I can’t believe I’m saying this but…thank god you were the one to see her when she left the world’s biggest asshole.”

“Yeah, if not for you she would’ve gone back to him for sure.” Zeph chimed in. “So wait. You’ve always had feelings for each other? What kind of connection are you talking about? How come the two of you never talked then?”

“Pride. I was a snob.” Beckett announced.

“Hard same.” Oriana laughed. “We were really stupid.”

“Exceptionally stupid.” Beckett agreed.

“Oh my god, you guys are adorable.” Shreya breathed.

Oriana looked at the screen suspiciously. “You guys are taking this a lot better than we thought you would. Honestly, we put off telling you for weeks because I was so nervous I’d get nauseous just thinking about what you’d say. Why the turn around?”

Shreya and Zeph share a look before Shreya spoke again. “Well…we’ve talked about the two you an awful lot. And we’ve been feeling really bad about how hard we’ve come down on Beckett.”

“And you.” Zeph interrupted.

“And we realized that every time we talked to you…you should see the way he looks at you. No one’s ever looked at me like that.”

“He looks at you like you’re the only thing in his world.” Zeph confessed. “We were just so worried you were jumping into a relationship with the first person who came around but…it’s obvious now that’s not the case here. And yes, girl, you are absolutely beaming.”

“We’re really sorry for how we’ve been acting. We’ve been so wary for so long. We could never trust anything if Chase’s name was involved…He basically took our spirited girl and destroyed her. Looked at her like a possession, a toy, a piece of meat, it was disgusting.” Shreya’s voice was laced with disdain.

“I would never…”

“We know. We know you’re nothing like him.” Shreya cut Beckett off mid-sentence. “I’m really sorry, Beckett. I’m sorry for everything I said. To both of you. I’m honestly not sure which one of you I was rudest to.”

“Same here” Zephyr grimaced. “Please accept my apology, both of you. And when we get home…we’d really like to hang out.”

Beckett winced as Oriana’s hand squeezed his own a bit too tightly. He looked over at her and saw the tears in her eyes. “Ori? Are you okay?” He murmured.

“Oh my god, yes!!” She squealed suddenly. “Oh my god, really you guys? You really mean it? You’re happy for us?”

“Definitely.” Both Shreya and Zeph laughed lightly, then three pairs of eyes landed on Beckett.

“Beck?” Ori questioned.

“Any friend of Oriana’s is a friend of mine. Apologies accepted.” His heart was thumping wildly, he hadn’t expected this conversation to go well at all. He watched the three friends cry over how much they missed each other, and how glad everyone was that she and Beckett were together. He blushed furiously when Shreya said that he saved her best friend’s life, and she knew she didn’t have to be worried that one day Chase would ruin her forever.

When the video chat ended, Oriana launched herself into Beckett, kissing him over and over, leaving him breathless and grinning.

At 6pm they left the house for the neighborhood block party. As they met all their neighbors, Oriana greeted each one brightly, gushing over their new engagement and how happy they are to be part of this community. Beckett was on cloud nine. Never in his life had he imagined he would ever have all this. Friendly neighbors, great friends, acceptance by everyone, and most of all, the love of the most wonderful woman he’s ever laid eyes on.

For once I actually have hope of a happy future. For once I know I really can have everything.

He saw Oriana wink at him as she chatted animatedly with someone he’s already forgotten the name of.

Everything really is perfect. I’m the luckiest guy in the world.

He froze as his next thought involuntarily crossed his mind. I’m happy. She’s happy. We’re engaged, we have good jobs…perhaps it’s time I reach back out to my parents and my sister. It wasn’t fair I cut Katrina off in the first place. If Oriana’s friends can come around and ask for forgiveness…maybe there’s a chance that my family and I can make amends.

Oriana sauntered back over to him, kissing him lightly on the cheek. “What are you thinking of right now?”

“Honestly? I’m thinking of my family. I…want to reach out to them. I want you to meet them.”

She nodded slowly. “I think…that’s actually a great idea, Beck. Soon they’ll be my family to. I’d love to meet them, but are you sure you’re ready? I know you haven’t spoken to them since, well…when did you last speak to them, anyway?”

“Before graduation.” He said glumly. “They didn’t approve of my life choices.”

“Right. It was the end of the world that you got a steady job instead going to grad school.” She remembered. She looked into his eyes, smiling. “Let’s call them tomorrow. Maybe they’ll answer or maybe they won’t…but at least you’re trying. I think it’s a wonderful idea, Beck, and I’m with you 100%, whatever happens.”

“Thanks, Ori.” He said gratefully. “I know they’ll love you if they give you a chance. It’s impossible not to.”

“Awww” She planted a kiss on his lips before smiling widely and pointing to a dark haired woman a few doors down. “Look! There’s Eloise, you have to meet her, she has her own yoga studio!”

As she pulled him along with her, Beckett found himself once again grinning from ear to ear. Yes. Things are absolutely perfect.

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[softforrhaz]

troubled.

hate is a very strong word.

But harry styles is sure he hates maya clearwater. With every bone is his body, he hates that girl. He hates her curly black hair, that she sometimes straightens (which he hates too). He hates the way she smiles her pearly white teeth on show for everyone to see. He hates the way her dimple show everytime she laughs, she laughs so loud people can her from a mile away. He hates the way people love her. How she has so many friends. He hates the way teachers praise her. The dictionary meaning of the word hate, is to feel an intense dislike for someone. And Harry’s sure he had more than a feeling of intens dislike for maya.

As for maya, she loved everyone. She was just easy to be around. Everyone she’d ever met, she got on with. Except for: Harry styles. She could never really put her finger on him. Why he always got so annoyed when she joined him and his friends. She had to admit, he wasn’t who everyone thought he was. But she was hopeful. Hopeful that he would change his ways, and be his true self. The one the fans think he is. But maybe that’s one of her so called ‘toxic traits’ always being hopeful and believing there’s good in people. Even with there may not be an ounce. Maya had been like that since she was a child. You might call her a push over or naive, but she always believed in second chances and seeing the good side of people. Even when they’ve made her upset or angry.

Maya and Harry had met at Sarah’s, Harry’s drummers, party. It was New Year’s Eve, everyone seemed to be getting on really enjoying themselves. Until maya arrived. Harry had disliked her since the moment she layed on her.

He was upset because she didn’t remember him. She never texted him back. And definitely looked much better than he did. They had met briefly before at a mutual friend’s birthday party, they exchanged numbers, maya promising him they would meet up again soon. But as Harry waited, there was no call or text. And that’s when he decided he would hate maya clearwater forever. And he would make everyone know about it.

And they did.

When maya and Harry finally had met properly, able to talk and actually say hello, Harry was the rudest he had ever been his life. Sarah was so beyond embarrassed as she had met maya only a month ago, and was really trying to get to know her more. Sarah apologised profusely to maya when she decided she would head home early.

“Maya, please don’t leave! I’ll sort it out!” Sarah said red in the face from embarrassment. Maya shook her hear bringing her new friend into a hug before kissing her cheek.

“I promise we can celebrate together another time. Please don’t worry about this, I’ve already forgotten about it” maya lied putting a fake smile “you should too” she continued nodding her head before grabbing her red coat and black back before hugging Sarah again.

“I’ll text you when I’m home” maya said before leaving the house.

So maya went home and cried. And then she put on her fake smile, and forgot about. This is what she did, she cried. And then it was forgotten. She didn’t like to dwell on things, and she was already insecure enough, she didn’t need heart throb Harry styles bringing her down too.

The next time maya and Harry met was when she was dragged to another party at her college. Of course she wasn’t expecting to see one of the most famous singers in the world today at her friends college party. She had remembered back to the words that he spoke at Sarah’s party, but she quickly put her thoughts to rest as her friend, Jane, brought her to the dance floor.

Harry saw her curly black hair and her red dress before maya realised he was here. He sighed bringing the beer to his lips. Why was she always where he was? Why was she always in his thoughts? Why can’t maya clearwater leave him alone?

Harry snickered to his friends as he watched her and her friend dance together. He nudged his friend tom, pointing over to maya. “She looks like a stick” Harry laughed and the boys all nodded laughing along. Maya stopped dancing and looked over at Harry with tears in her eyes. Jane was trying to get maya to dance, while maya stood there looking Harry in the eye, her brown skin glistening with sweat and tears. Harry almost felt half bad, but he soon forgot about that once he remembered what she did. He smirked at her sipping at his beer once more as he watched her walk away from her friend and leave the house.

Maya had cried one too many tears on this man. She had hardly even talked to this man! They had met twice, barely the second time.

She just wanted to know why he hated her so much. She had always tried to be the nicest person she could possibly be. That’s what her mum asked of before she died. You could say maya had a wild child phase, while her mum was sick. She just couldn’t expect that her mum was going to die. So she abused drugs and alcohol, and she became known as the towns whore. She was naive and she was defintly in denial. But maya thought if she did this it would numb the pain. She would forget that her mum could possible die while she was out having sex with any beating heart.

“Baby. I need you to be good when I’m gone. I need you to look after dad and toby, ok?” Her mum said tears in her eyes and maya grabbed her mother’s hand tears running down her face.

“I need you to be better. To love yourself. Respect yourself. And please, please. Treat people with kindness”

And maya never forgot that. She eventually calmed down, went to therapy. Helped her brother with school and stuff a mother and father should be doing. But her dad was depressed. He knew this was coming, but he lost the love of his life. But soon everything went back to whatever normal was. Her dad would smile. Toby would ask about their mum, but no one would cry. It took a good few years to mend their hearts, but they did that with, collette clearwaters words:

“I need you to be better. To love yourself. Respect yourself”

The next time Harry and maya met, Harry had crossed the line and maya had, had enough. She was completely done with Harry styles.

Maya had a rough day. She failed a maths test she thought she’d aced. Her roommate was moving out and on top of that her dads birthday was in two days and she couldn’t reach the shops because her car broke down, and she forgot to bring money for the bus. She had to walk to college, in the rain. All her books and clothes were soaked, and her poor straightened hair was no more.

She needed a friend, so she texted sarah before walking to her house. She never ever did this, just show up. But she needed some friend cuddles and a warm cup of tea. She arrived to Sarah’s house 10 minutes later with still no text. She didn’t want to be rude, but she really just needed someone. Maya knocked on Sarah’s front door.

Sarah opened it excited, confused and a little worried.

“H....hi.... i texted but you um didn’t reply so so i....i thought i could stop by, maybe?” Maya stuttered. Sarah smiled warmly at maya pulling her into a hug. “No need to text. I’m always here for you love, whenever” Sarah replied rubbing maya’s back.

“it’s just harrys here, and i know the two of you don’t really get on” Sarah stated and maya bit her lip. She really needed this. She didn’t want to be in a mood when her dad got home. So she nodded “it’s ok. I’m sure he can put his hatred for me away for today”

Maya walked in hand in hand with Sarah, Harry’s band looking up immediately. They all greeted you with an unsure look, looking between you and Harry. You smiled at them all including Harry, but he just scowled. Her smile immediately dropped, Sarah pulling her to the sofa beside her boyfriend Mitch.

“What’s stick doing here?” Harry asked with a half smirk. The tension was now very clear in the room. “I’m not a stick Harry” maya replied biting her lip once again. She was probably going to lead a lot of Vaseline after this conversation. “hmm y’sure” he asked rolling his eyes.

maya sighed leaning back into the sofa grabbing the pillow beside and tried covering her body with it. The room was silent and uncomfortable, before Harry opened his mouth again. “i asked you a question.” Harry said leaning his elbow on his leg, holding up his head.

maya shook her head, again biting her lip, and sighed. “I just had a rough day, needed some company. s’all” maya mumbled seeing Harry roll his green eyes once again.

“What are you gonna cry again?”

“Everytime i open my mouth, you cry. It honestly getting old maya! cut the act” Harry said leaning back. Maya sighed her eyes once again, filling with tears. “We don’t have time for this, go on home and cry to you mummy instead” he said and Sarah gasped.

“Harry” she yelled trying to grab your hand as you stood up with a sob.

“I don’t know what I’ve done to you Harry. But I’m so sorry. For whatever i did. I really am. But when you bring my family into whatever sick hatred you have with me, is where i draw the fucking line”. Maya said with tears running down her face. Harry looked almost shocked and upset?

“My mums dead harry”

The room was immediately silenced and Harry let out a curse as he stood up.

“M...maya”

“No! No! You don’t get to apologise and pity me once you figure out my mother is dead” maya yelled waving her hands around as he walked closer to her. “You have hurt me Harry. You really have. Don’t ever fucking come near me again” maya said grabbing her bag before running out of her friends house.

“Fuck”

A week later Harry had tried to reach maya a total of 456 ways. He had texted her and phoned her and tried to get her when she was out and about. He even went to her house. He even wrote her letters? This boy was truly sorry. He hadn’t stopped to think about the possibilities of her losing his number. Or him putting in the wrong number. Or maybe she just wasn’t interest. And lastly, maybe she did forget. And he should’ve been ok way that. But Harry wasn’t. He hated her. He hated her so much, and now he can’t stand the thought of her hating him. Of her doing the same thing he did to her.

The only way he was sure this apology would be written well, would be through a song. Something he was quite good at. You could really feel the emotion from the song when he preformed it with the band. It was named fine line. Quite depressing but happy and the same time.

Sarah wasn’t sure when Harry tried to persuade her into giving maya the song. But when Harry started crying her eyes widened and grabbed the paper before dropping the note in maya’s bag. She knew maya wouldn’t take it, even from her.

So she snuck it into her science notes in her bag, a place she knew maya would look today.

And Sarah was right of course.

Maya saw the note. And at first she wa confused. But then she read the note, telling her to plug the disc in and listen carefully.

‘ put a price on emotion ‘

Maya let out a strangled sigh as she heard the voice of Harry. Her eyes filling up with tears as she listened to the song.

‘we’ll be alright’

Maya picked up her phone sobbing as she looked for the number Harry rang her with.

She nodded when he picked up letting out a sob.

‘ we’ll be a fine line. We’ll be alright ‘

[sugar-petals]

Rude Boy (M) — Teaser

pairing: sub!tom holland x dom!reader

genre › smut, crack | one shot

➯ your gymnast neighbour tom cranks up his music so much that it starts a house feud. you decide to put an end to this by showing up at his flat. but tom opens the door in a way that takes you by surprise.

:: a/n › don’t let the title deceive you, we’re headed for a subby tom fic! 💕with some mcu characters mixed in for the fun of it. rude boy’s past 13k words & I love to spoil you rotten so this teaser is at scenario length. enjoy! 

Now that became perfectly obvious to you: This guy was rude.

As if the plastering on the wall alongside the apartment corridor wasn’t porous enough— the hammering bass from flat #89 made it seem like the entire house was bound to corrode in a song or two.

“Hey, you! Turn the damn music down!”

Knocking at the plain door sporting a scraggly ‘Holland, T.’ sign only elicits a faint reply between beats. The voice sounds entirely out of breath. Its pitch is surprisingly high, too.

“Hello? Is this Mister Stank?”

“Who?!”

Almost an eternity passes. Footsteps follow. The door first clicks, then buckles. One second later, a babyface framed by curls peeks through the opening. Slathered in what appears to be a layer of sweat and— oddly, a white layer of powder.

Cocaine?

You’re completely stiff at the sight. So that’s Mister ‘Holland, T.’, then.

“Tony Stank! He’s been knocking here earlier. You’re not Tony, though?”

The babyface looks even more innocent than it already was by now. If he wouldn’t be all drenched and smelling like a crowded Olympic hall, the gaze would be easy to fall for. All big and hazel.

But you remain solid in your spot and feel no less irritated.

“He’s called Stark! Not Stank!”

Babyface looks confused.

“Stark? I just heard him mumbling something and things. Was busy with the weights so I couldn’t open the door.”

You place your arms akimbo.

“Tony lives in apartment #90! You know what that means?”

He shakes his head, which loosens some curls into his face.

“Um, no idea?”

You point down the corner of the hallway with more insistence.

“He lives right next you!”

“And?”

The guy’s voice goes up in pitch once again. Clearly, he didn’t catch his breath so far either. Lifting weights, he said. Poor Tony. 

In fact, poor everyone in the radius of ten miles. 

At least you know that whatever white powder is on his face—

Has to be magnesium carbonate powder.

He’s not even on drugs and acting like that.

How much worse can it get.

“Your music was so loud this morning that Tony did the same thing I’m doing right now, bloody idiot!”

“N—no need to be rude!”

“You’re the rude one! I’m from apartment #88!”

“Oh?”

Sweaty Holland gazes toward the other side of the corridor, seemingly surprised realizing that there looms the precise door you just came from. Apartment #88 in its full actual lack of splendour.

You feel like you’re about to burst any second.

“Yes?! I’m studying for exams and you’re blasting Rihanna! Since 10:30!”

Blank face. The guy really got you to a point where you roll your eyes like a preschooler. He looks disoriented more than anything, rubbing his powdery hands through his hair making it almost look strangely grey for his age. Something does seem to sway his confused features.

“Damn, shit... Wait a minute,” he says. “Tom, by the way. Sorry.”

The curly head disappears before you can say anything else. While you hear him walking away, the door ever so slowly falls open, revealing an almost loft-like building. You’d be very much at home in your casual clothing right now, but the thought of magnesium and the repugnant smell of athleticism has already ruined the sight.

Umbrella just keeps playing in the other part of the flat. Tom audibly rummages with some sort of dumbbells around the corner. They land and roll on the floor dull, making Tony’s words from yesterday all too present in your mind once more.

‘Bloke’s a gym rat! 20-fucking-something, sexually frustrated, IQ of a toast! Walking, cocky mess’, furious Stark in his blue designer shades had ranted meeting you on the way down in the elevator, recalling how he saw Tom moving in the other day.

Given how babyface still seems to be busy with his makeshift gym, you wish he never did.

This was one of the most crowded neighbourhoods.

“Will you please shut the goddamn stereo down!” you tap your foot more than once, still having to put up with Jay-Z’s intro rap droning from the speakers in the flat.

“Um! Searching for the remote!” Tom replies, but you’re already stepping into his training room, ready to either phone the police or take the bumping stereo out of service yourself.

But you can hardly believe your eyes. Looking into the area, framed by high shelves where towels and isotonic drinks are stacked.

Tom stands there without a single piece of clothing covering him.

No tank top. No boxers, not even socks. His arms serve as a less than adequate shield for his front.

“Shit!”

Looking all browbeaten head to toe, Tom mumbles something all panicked that gets drowned out by Rihanna’s catchy chorus. By now, the entire city of London probably knows his taste in music. And you: Just about every buff inch of him.

Fuck.

Time to get out of here.

You stumble backwards. Then, almost fall over, stepping on something squarish on the ground. Out of nowhere, the music stalls.

Silence.

You look down and realize that you’re standing on the tiny remote.

“Was getting ready for the shower! I’m sorry!” Tom repeats now that the stereo is off, covering himself with a scruffy towel in the meantime. Thank god that there are shelves around. But you have hardly gathered yourself by now.

“And... that’s how you opened the door?”

You know the answer given how Tom’s face changes from pale to crimson red, even visible through the layer of magnesium that not just his face is plastered into. It makes you wonder which odd parts of a body one can work out with.

“Was only peeking my head out! I didn’t know someone would come at this time of the day.”

Tom hurriedly tries to wrap the towel around his hips properly by now, but realizes it won’t cover enough of his backside. He hunches before you more frozen than ever. 

You sigh out. This lad indeed is akin to a toast.

“But it’s the afternoon?”

“I was only trying to prepare for the shower!” he repeats, wilding pointing about. “I’m so sorry, I—”

You pick up the remote and lay it down on the shelf to your right hoping your glare would suffice for him not to lay a finger on it anytime soon.

All this shower talk.

“Exactly where you’ll go now. Fucking twat.”

“T-twat?”

Tom’s jaw hangs loose. He’s still flushed like a ripe tomato.

“The entire corridor smells like gym. And get yourself some headphones for Rihanna, thanks.”

Enough seen, enough talk. Nobody down this very avenue could be grumpier. You bury either hand in your hoodie’s muff and turn. But Tom doesn’t look like he’s heading for the bathroom.

“Hey, wait! We didn’t even finish to introduce ourselves!”

“Do I look like I care? You’re wearing a towel! That’s past introductions. Fuck your politeness. Dickhead.”

For the sake of the other apartments and the plastering on the walls, you don’t opt for the now-you-know-how-it-feels-door-slam, but make sure to shut your own flat off from the sweaty stench in the corridor lightning fast.

Hoping that the barricade would at least block out that, if Tom wouldn’t put on Unapologetic the next hour. Who knows, you already see it coming. ‘Holland, T.’ arguably was the rudest neighbour you could possibly have. You regret doing as much as step one foot into his reeking apartment.

The silver kettle bleeps— you pour up your tea. Needs to sit for eight minutes, the fancy ‘Ayurvedic Relaxation‘ label of the bag says.

You close down the window of your unloved study notes on the laptop, alongside some other worksheets, digital drafts, presentations, and forms that need signatures from what seems to be the entire university. And then— sigh out, click the Youtube icon in the bookmarked pages. Eventually, you get comfortable in your hammock chair.

Perfect.

While the tea steams off, a soothing voice starts to play in a colourful intro. You alter the volume by three bars for better tingles. Finally: Your favourite. Mantis Chiropractic Medicine. Emotional Relief, ASMR, and life advice. Only the best cracks! And good-looking clients, too. What a dream. Atmospheric music with flutes and harps begins to chime after the intro jingle right away, making you sink into the hammock all slack.

Soft-spoken and polite as ever, Doctor Mantis begins to explain common side effects of sitting too much and how to remedy them that you stir in your tea, checking the watch: Only six minutes left of Ayurvedic Relaxation. Fair enough.

In the hallway, you hear a door closing while Mantis demonstrates a few carpal tunnel exercises. It’s from the direction of apartment #85. Likely Mister Rhodes returning from the Met Office. It’s 7PM. Punctual as ever. 

Mantis keeps on speaking gently on your laptop, showing her client how to correct his posture while typing.

You have to remind yourself not to get distracted because the notes and presentation are nowhere near finished. One video and you promise yourself to return to at least the mock exam questions. Again, you lean back into the hammock’s sturdy fabric and let the flutes carry you to another place and time.

Mantis, with her flowing black hair tied neatly into a ponytail, situated in the office with her immaculate white gown, already proceeds to diagnose a client on the screen with careful spine taps that a fast knock makes you jerk up. It’s not a sound coming from the video.

“Uh— Hello? Are you there?”

More knocks follow.

It’s Tom’s annoying voice.

“Please go away! I’m busy studying!” you shout, closing down the diagnosis video to remedy not your back, but conscience.

“Aren’t you watching a vlog or something?”

Too late.

Three bars on the volume button were a bit too loud. Damn it. Your entire Ayurvedic Relaxation is ruined.

“That’s a, a lecture video!”

You even catch yourself stuttering.

“Are you a med student or something?”

The voice remains persistent at the door.

“Tom. Fuck off into your gym, will you.”

To your anger, he actually knocks again.

“Please! At least come to the door! I don’t want to yell. You don’t have to open. Please. Please...”

You rub your eyes.

He has a point. Tony is still working during that time of the day anyways. Not to mention Rhodes. Yeah, Rhodes for sure. You close your laptop fast, slip out of the hammock, grab your teacup for emotional backing— and trot out of the bedroom with a grim feeling in your stomach.

“So what is it?” you grit, now inches away from Tom, but somewhat gladly, with the odour barricade still in place. Ten elephants and a pack of lions couldn’t move you to open that door.

“Y/N. I’m sorry for the music today,” Tom half whispers, half murmurs, now much more deferential.

He’s read your name on the door label. You sigh.

“The better apology’s leaving me alone. Can’t concentrate.”

A deep sip from your tea won’t make your annoyance go away either, but you still try and almost burn your tongue.

“With all due respect. If I would listen to lecture videos that loud my ears would be reeling, too...”

You could stomp the parquet below you to pieces on this very spot. Mister Stark was more than right about Tom. He was the cockiest mess.

“Look who’s talking! Rihanna’s bass line was peeling off our carpets this morning!”

You don’t want to know what janitor Rogers thinks about that.

“Y/N, please don’t yell,” Tom muffles from the other side repeatedly, tone more sympathetic. “I made enough noise myself today.”

“Oh, really? Never knew.”

“And, I’ve been using my earphones. Or did you hear anything Rihanna play?“

Mentally and physically, you give up your Ayurvedic Relaxation once for all and put the mug down on the next best birchwood cupboard. He does have not one, but two points. Maybe he’s not a toast, at least that. Still a bloody idiot, but you have to begrudgingly admit that he makes sense and didn’t touch the remote. 

Just in case— You peep through the fish-eye of the door and see Tom wandering about, not topless as far as you can trust your tired eyes. When he turns to the door, you try to read his face. He looks innocent. Sad, even.

“Please, Y/N. I just wanted to apologize for being rude. I’m still new here. And now that you’re playing something loud yourse—”

Ugh.

It’s a tie.

Click goes the door. And there you see him stand, in his striped Hello Kitty PJs that are way too tight at the arms, with tiny hearts printed all over them. He’s visibly scrubbed down, smelling like he’s used four shampoos at once. His curly hair looks kind of bouncy in the brutal light of the hallway.

“Nice to see you dressed for once, Holland.”

“Sorry, I probably look ridiculous.”

You open the door wider.

“Come on in rascal, still have some water in the kettle.”

© 2017-2019 submissive-bangtan. All rights reserved. Do not repost, translate, or modify my work.

[curupiracue]

The Reporter’s Crows, and a Truth-seeking Deception

Sigh…

Couldn’t find anyone, huh…

“Hm. I wonder what Nim is doing?”

Though I wonder, I can likely guess… Probably “fooling around” (I mean, it’s studying, but even that is fooling around given the circumstances), and that is assuming he is awake already… Yeaahhh… Probably not.

I mean, it’s pretty handy for me that he is such a sleepyhead, even if I don’t sleep that much… But still.

Sigh…

Crááá!

“Huh? That a crow?”

Hmmm… A crow, huh... No way. I’m just overthinking things. ...But then again, when Nim was rambling about this city, didn’t he mention all the bird species living on the region? He didn’t mention crows at all, so unless this is someone’s pet...

“I mean, it’s my pet, you know.”

Oh, great.

“That has got to be rudest “hello” ever.” I say, turning around to face her.

“You live and travel alongside that sorry excuse for a human being. Thought you’d have heard worst by now.” Not towards me, at least. That’s what I think of saying, but she turns her attention to the crow and cuts me off “Oh hey there, Jesus! Any news?”

“Uh, you have a crow named Jesus?” some random guy passing by asked.

“Well, what would you name a crow?”

“Uh, I dunno’... Bob, birdie, blackey, Shadow’s Night?”

“You’re boring. Get out of my sight.” And so the man did, feeling humiliated and intimidated.

“Poor guy…”

“Pff. Anyway, it looks like Jesus has nothing to report… you can keep flying, dearie!” With that, the crow went off flying.

“...How many of those things do you have?”

“100. But I only treat 10 of them as pets, else, I would get saddened with their deaths.” I wonder if she meant more or less a 100, or precisely that number, but I quickly abandon the train of thought. I didn’t much care for that. More importantly…

“Well, I don’t really like seeing you here. If you and Nim meet, I’m afraid one or the other will end up dead.”

“Why! How insulting… I think it’s pretty clear who would die in such a confrontation...”

“Yeah, you.”

She glared at me. ...Best not to provoke her too much. She’s way stronger than I am, after all. Even if her power is directed less towards combat.

“Sigh, this isn’t to the point though. More importantly, though I don’t like seeing you here, I think you might actually be needed. We’re having trouble making any progress with so few clues to go by.”

“Well, that’s obvious. Even more obvious, is that, given some time, I could find the serial killer. Or, rather, I WILL find ‘em. Now the question is… If it is so, then why the hell should I ally myself with you guys?”

“Well, you showed up… you must have had a reason for that. Unless that reason was just mocking me.”

“Yup, that’s it actually~”

Now was my turn to glare at her.

“Hahahahah! Gee, chill. Even I’m not about to stand by and let such a fucked up murderer get away. And though I could do it by myself, I’d better get some allies. ...Even if these allies include an asshole.”

“Yeah. You’re birds of a feather.”

��...Correction. TWO assholes. I’ll be going now... Should anything come up I’ll contact you (alone, preferably hundreds of meters away from you-know-who)” She started walking away, but with with a certain air that convinced me she had more to say. Though I wasn’t sure if I should, I stayed put waiting.

Turns out, I was right.

“Oh yeah, and that guy who passed by and talked shit about Jesus totally wanted to bone you. You should go right ahead, since you and Mr. I-should-die-soon are not a thing yet, somehow. Ok, now really, be seeing you!”

...Totally not gonna’ do that NOW.

(sigh) I’d better get going. Nim couldn’t possibly be still sleeping. ...Maybe.

Well, I needed a walk to get my thoughts in order anyway, so…

Wims Fourth. A journalist who took on various cases and researched all sorts of weird incidents to try and get good material. She’s generally pretty neutral, which alongside with her unpleasant personality makes her hard to work with… but, those things are just minor impediments. If they weren’t, well, there wouldn’t be any sort of cooperation or friendship in this mental world. No, the real problem is her mutual grudge with Nim.

As for why they hate each other so much, well, that’s a long story. So much so, that I haven’t heard all of the details yet. Suffice it to say though, that although they’re both surprisingly reasonable for jerks, that reasonable goes out the window when they’re together. I wasn’t joking when I told her that one of them might do something they would regret when together.

But in spite of that, it’s good that she got involved. She’s clever, and her genius brings along some powerful utility constructions as well: apart from secret police crows, she can also summon film tape of a person’s memories and rapidly look through them. Since the construction needs to sneak into someone’s mind to take the information from there before copying it and bringing it to her, you can theoretically block it, but… it’s not like she’s erasing the memories or tampering with them in any way. She’s just sneaking inside and walking quietly, basically. Since it’s so sneaky, and simple enough she can focus on making it even more sneaky, you’d need to be much stronger than her to even detect it, let alone block it.

I don’t think there’s anyone who fits the bill. Not even Nim or that serial killer.

So, in other words, there’s a door right in front of me.

...Wait, I think I got lost in thought. Almost ran face-first on the door.

“Huh? Yo, Novalue, you here?” Nim “said” through a psychic message.

“Sure am” I send in response.

“...You didn’t ran face-first on the door, now, did you?”

“Nope.”

“Then, did you almost do that?”

“Of course not. I just got surprised because I suddenly remembered I wanted to buy some donuts, is all.” I lie spontaneously but carefully

Suddenly Nim opens the door.

...Holding a wallet.

“Oh, ok~ Sorry for thinking bad of you. Also, you left your wallet home, dumbass! Documents aren’t important because the police is made of weak shits, but what would you do if you wanted to buy something?!”

I take the wallet, and enter.

“Soooo~ anything to report?”

“I met Wims.”

(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)

Suddenly, I feel like grabbing a few knives and going all Adam Lanza. No, but it was guns… Nim, you FUCKING DUMBASS!

Anyway.

“Did you tell her to go die?”

“‘Afraid it would have the opposite effect.”

“Should have called me then~ I could be the Diomedes to your Nestor~”

“Do I really have to be Nestor…?”

“Huh? Well… Achilleus to Patroklus?”

“Wait, I’d be dead then.”

I clasped my hands and smiled with malice:

“Your corpse is worthy a rescue~”

“...So, anyway. About Wims...” Suddenly, I got in a bad mood.

“Yeah, yeah I know. Just don’t go about expecting too much, yes?” Novalue was about to speak, but I shot him a discreet glare, and complemented the “shut the fuck up” with additional flow of information “More pressingly, let’s go take a look at the police files again! There ought to be a few left, né?!”

“You just want to take a look at the files again, don’t you?”

“Nein...”

“(sigh) Fine, let’s go.”

We walked towards the precinct without a care in the world. But who needs care when you have style? Surely the passerby were gazing at our mutual beauty with much envy~!

Upon getting there though...

“Wait, you’re the ones from yester- yes, of course we can provide the files for usage. Also, Nim, you’re the greatest that has ever lived: I can’t even imagine how one might surpass your fundamentally lofty and superior existence.”

Novalue gave me a glare. Well, maybe not a glare, but a Novalue glare. Most people would think he was feeling sleepy or some shit

“Nim. That last part was unnecessary.”

“Whatever moooom!” I replied, waltzing and skipping towards our destination. I suddenly stopped, however, as if remembering something.

“Então tipo, hey, Novalue! Can you tipo, like, uh, go ahead and shtuff? I need to do something here first~” Novalue looked at me with distrust:

“You’re not gonna’ do something awful now, are you?”

“By the love of the T bearded idiot crow Novalue! Have some more trust in me, yeah?! I feel like a train going to a station full of passengers wantingtogotoanotheroneandexpecti-AHHHHHH” I inhale “Ugh, fuck, I couldn’t say all of it at once. POINT IS. You should trust me more!” I finish with a pout.

“That, however, doesn’t answer the question.”

“No, I’m not gonna do anything awful.”

That seemed to convince him. Hey, I wasn’t lying! I was about to do something justified, not awful.

“Heeey, Mr. Guaaaard~”

“Huh? I’m not a guard, technically, and I do have a name you kn-”

“Oh golly. The magic trick wore off, great. (sigh) Individuality is wasted on you, not gonna’ lie. I mean, the same can be said about me, but… Mmmm, I’m awesome and you’re not. So, whatever you. Is what I’d say, or just think. But, ya’ know. Uh, not sure how much you actually remember from yesterday, since I wasn’t the one on memory-wiping duty, buuuut. I, the great ME am still with my memories intact~”

“Memories…? Ah! Then, you must be the one alongside that fagg-”

Suddenly, his body feels light and his head is slammed at the table. Totally not by me.

“YOU DAMN PIECE OF SHIT! YOU MESSING WITH ME, HUH?! YOU’D BETTER START THANKING ME FOR SHOVING YOUR HEAD INTO THE SURFACE OF THIS TABLE, ‘CAUSE IF I HADN’T SHOVED YOUR HEAD INTO THE SURFACE OF THIS TABLE AND INSTEAD ALLOWED YOU TO FINISH THAT WORD, YOU’D BE FACING REPERCUSSIONS OF A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL!” I threw his body back into the chair “YOU DAMN WASTEFUL SACK OF MEAT!” I turn my gaze to a mug of coffee alongside it’s ingredients “Oooh, coffee.”

“Man, coffee sure is bitter. I can’t take mine without tons of sugar. Generally, if I am to make coffee, it’s for Novalue, so I’m more experienced with making black coffee, though. Here, lemme’ make some.” I add in enough coffee for it to become saturated “Ah, whooops. Maybe a teeeensy bit to much.” I throw the sugar at the floor “won’t be needing that. Let your family feast on it. Now, say “aaaaah!””

“aaaaah!? GuulphgMMMM!”

“Theeeeere weee... go.” with a jerk of my hand, I break the mug on his mug, cutting just the right amount of flesh, before pushing his chair to it’s limits and making him fall to the ground.

Pom.

“Ouch, that looked like it hurt. But see, you could have broken something. If we had met, say, an year back, you definitely would have. Which reminds me, I’ll be taking this key.” I pick up the key for the emergency exit “Wait, I didn’t beat you that bad… I’ll be leaving this key.” I put the key back on his pocket. Would be bad if someone got trapped and they needed it… Though that’s not the reason I did this, it’s just that I realized Novalue wouldn’t much mind this.

Speaking of him…

“Yo! Novalue, I’m coming~”

I open the door and find him looking through some documents. He then looks at me, seeming bored and closes the file.

(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)

Well, he sure took his time… can’t trust him to have kept that promise. Not that I much care. I close the file.

“It’s no use. Honestly, I’m thinking the killer must have some sort of connection to the police: sure, accessing the file wouldn’t be a problem regardless, but in order to be this through… if not a policeman, then maybe a lawyer or a judge.”

“Seems likely. I’m, uhh, guessing you didn’t find anything?”

“Nope.” I went to store the file away. “This whole trip is seeming useless to me… Maybe we should visit the regist-?”

“Hm? Whazis’?” Nim interrupts me, picking a file.

“What’s with that file?”

“Dunno’. Felt a little ajar to me, though I’m not sure why...” Hmm… though he alternates between not trusting it and boasting it to the point of unreasonability, Nim has a remarkable intuition. Might as well see where it leads. “Sebhbos Mmsseptnote? Ugh. Just looking at the photo disgusts me. Wonder if he was some jerk I met and forgot?”

“...I really doubt you’d forget something like this.”

“Tee hee~ Weeelll. Even for my most grand majesty, it could be possible… have I met him as a child, perchance?”

“Well, is it anything interesting?”

“Nah. He visited this city a long time ago. So not much is said. Doubt it’s him we’re looking for.”

“...If you say so… In that case, let’s look some more”

“Yes, captain!”

(Time passes...)

Well, today was an useless day. Every day felt like one, but this one actually was.

...And to top it all off, it seems Nim has no intention of letting me sleep.

“Wake up. Up up up.”

“Ugh...” I wanted to ask what time it was, but I had no energy to do it. Luckily, Nim was able to guess:

“4:14 and 57 seconds. Figured this time would be safest. Now get your head out of that pillow: I’m pretty damn cranky that I couldn’t have my intelligence sleep.”

“Mmm… safest?” I ask, still refusing to let go of the pillow.

“Yes. Thing is, that serial killer has been following us all day.”

“What…?” the news remove a bit of my sleepiness, but far from all of it; I am, however, now alert enough.

“It started with a bad feeling… so I decided to try searching using the Mental World, as well as paying close attention to everyone around us, though never actually intentionally doing it. And guess what, though I couldn’t see him well, nor properly identify him, there was always this sharply-dressed, thirty-something blonde man around, as well as a constant presence of a monstrous power that, although contained, I eventually identified as being his...”

“Before anything else… how powerful is he?”

“About… as powerful as me. ...P-Probably superior”

Huh… that makes him way more powerful than I am. Well, whatever. About Nim though...

“Don’t get anxious about it. First of all, there is an age discrepancy. Secondly, he probably doesn’t have much combat experience… or any sort of on-the-field experience with the Mental World. And finally… I’m here with you.”

He reacted simultaneously well and unwell, but didn’t complain. Probably because it was more of the former than the latter, and he was too sleepy for that.

“Well… So, about the plan.”

“Yes?”

“Basically...”

[lavenderek]

What happened after Stiles left with Derek after Derek got rid of Chad?

oh, after chad left? it is not worth reading.

they walk to derek’s apartment. it’s only a block down and across the street, maybe a five minutes walk counting riding the elevator up. hence derek’s eligibility for the position of fake boyfriend (see linked post).

they do have a brief argument, but it’s primarily companionable silence. a little anticipatory, because stiles isn’t sure what’s going to happen. you can never be sure if your fake boyfriend is being serious or not when he tells you in a public space that two o’clock isn’t soon enough to take you to bed. and stiles isn’t sure if he was being serious when he agreed to it. he’s genuinely never thought about it before, and here it is.

derek’s in the same boat, but he has a lot less indecision around it. (1) derek doesn’t really spend a lot of emotional energy waffling on decisions, particularly with regards to sleeping with somebody. that’s just his nature. (2) he is totally okay with it if stiles wasn’t being serious. stiles was 100% serious about derek getting him away from that guy, and derek got him away from that guy, so, either way there’s been a net gain tonight.

they both realize it’s happening as they walk in the door, and that is that. they make out, they do that thing where you kind of navigate your way down a short hallway trying to make out at the same time? they don’t bother turning on any lights, there’s the trail of discarded clothing, the whole stupid thing. derek has a big bed and he settles between stiles’ thighs and kisses him, and derek has a big dick, too. you know. if you’ve read my fic before you know the schedule.

derek has lube and condoms, and he looks at stiles in the dim room and says, “okay?” and stiles is breathless and squirming and yes it’s okay, is derek kidding? is he within this plane of existence? has stiles heretoforth been broadcasting waves of unokayness? he severely cuts down on the talking once derek gets his fingers up in him. everything gets subverbal for a while, and stiles can feel his heart beating in his ears as he watches derek put the condom on, like, he knows cognitively that this is happening? but he can’t process it, he’s so horny that the entire situation is just sort of standing around looking at its watch and waiting for him to acknowledge it. “come on,” he urges, teeth grit. he can’t believe how needy he is.

because listen. the thing about his relationship with chad was, stiles wouldn’t let chad fuck him. that was the major, overarching theme of their entire thing. stiles just didn’t want to. he told chad he would do other stuff, told him he’d let him know if he changed his mind, but chad solidified that decision by being super uncool about it. that was about when he started getting mean. it was chad’s least favorite thing about stiles, and stiles knew it, but he just didn’t fucking want to. it was the only thing he wouldn’t budge on, the only thing. chad left stiles having never fucked him, and stiles is pretty relieved about it. it’s just not his thing, he decided, because the idea of it never really appealed to him.

derek doesn’t know this about stiles because contrary to some people’s perceptions of stiles, he doesn’t really go around sharing super intimate details about his sex life with people. derek offers to fuck stiles because he likes to and he wants to do it to stiles. if stiles wasn’t into it, derek would have been okay with it. but stiles is viscerally into it, to the point where he’s telling derek almost repeatedly to fuck him, as derek is already fucking him. it’s pretty stupid. it’s pretty intense. it’s like a porno. stiles didn’t think people said shit like this in real life. he is going to be super embarrassed after he comes. he is embarrassed after he comes, but he wouldn’t say super. there are more pressing issues on his mind.

he lays there in derek hale’s bed, a naked, sticky mess, and stares blankly at the ceiling. then he looks over and - yep, that’s still derek. “uhhhh,” he says eventually when he’s caught his breath. “we just had sex.”

“uh huh,” says derek. he is not in shock and he guesses he’s not sure why he’s surprised stiles is.

“you and - and me,” stiles elaborates.

derek says, “yeah, stiles, i was there.”

“we,” stiles laughs a little incredulously, “did that!”

“can we stop memorizing flash cards about it,” asks derek, annoyed.

stiles can’t believe he got fucked, and he can’t believe who did it, and he can’t believe how fucking incredible it was, and he can’t believe he did this. “jesus. oh, jesus,” he sits up and buries his face in his hands, an action derek was not anticipating. “i said i’d stop doing this. i said i wouldn’t do this again,” he’s saying into his palms.

derek sits up also, stung. he’s not sure what to say. he had no expectations about this night given the lack of forethought, so he figures it’s just how the night’s going; but he’ll admit it sucks.

“look,” says stiles, which is without fail, always a precursor to things derek doesn’t have the desire or the emotional energy to hear. “i can’t - do casual sex,” stiles tells him. see? derek has no energy. he is completely perplexed and he just came, like, five minutes ago, so he thinks he lacks the brain cells necessary to handle this level of confusion. “you came to my job,” stiles goes on, “and you - you rescued me from my ex or something, and i realized i - six months,” he looks at derek in the dark. “six months! and i never saw it.” he doesn’t mean he’s been, like, obliviously in love with derek or whatever; he means that the possibility was there, and he hadn’t even seen it. that if the opportunity had presented itself anywhere between now and last winter, he would have taken it and ended up right exactly here, and if derek is fake-boyfriending him, stiles is going to have to take a sadness bath.

stiles takes sadness baths when he gets dumped, so what? he’s man enough to admit it. grow up.

derek finally catches up, and sighs for eleventy-forty years. “i told you a year,” he said. “remember? you don’t remember, do you. you were too busy trying to give me shitty craft beer - “

“it’s so good. it’s like, summery,” stiles tells him desperately. “you’d like it. you have to try new things sometimes! i just did!”

“you - what? no. stiles - “

“i get attached,” stiles interrupts, routing back to his original point. or no, actually his second point, because the first point was some bullshit about telling derek they just had sex, as if derek hadn’t noticed or something. “i’m very possessive, and i - i know myself well enough to - “

“stiles.”

“ - able to say this with complete surety, that i - “

“stiles.”

“ - enter into a - what?”

derek just looks at him. stiles looks back. derek raises his eyebrows a little: expectant.

“oh,” stiles says, dropping his hands. “really?” derek waits. “me?”

“yes, stiles,” says derek irritably, “you.”

“are you sure?”

derek rolls his eyes. “no, i’m talking to halle berry, she’s right behind you.”

“halle berry?” stiles pokes his head forward in disbelief. “what year is it?”

“are you trying to get me to change my mind?” asks derek, narrowing his eyes. because stiles is certainly testing his patience, but if that’s his game, it’s not working. 

stiles says, “i am trying to, A, clarify your intentions because they came out of nowhere and make no sense,” derek glares in a new direction, beseeching whatever divine being exists for patience, “and B, ask you to reassess, in case this is the sex pheromones talking, hi pheromones, can i please speak to derek now - “ jesus christ, derek says, “ - and C, remind you what i’m like because you look like your entire soul just packed its bags and moved away, which is par for the course. okay? this is reasonable reasoning, i’m reasoning with you for reason.”

“shut up,” says derek.

“i think reason just stopped being a word,” stiles adds, looking away, into that part of his mind where all the stupid shit lives.

“shut up,” says derek again. “stiles, i’m trying to date you, you get that, right?” stiles returns to the present and stares at derek. “yes or no,” derek says flatly.

“why?” asks stiles. in the same tone of voice and with the same facial expression as if derek just told him he was trying to mail himself a unicycle.

“stiles,” derek sighs, helpless and annoyed, “i don’t know, why does anybody date anybody? you’ve finished A, B, and C and i’m still trying to date you, so i guess i’m not seeing why you’re fighting me on this. either date me or don’t.”

“um, first option,” says stiles, “please.”

this is the most pissed off derek has ever entered into a relationship. for real. and it’s not the most confused stiles has ever entered into a relationship at all. doesn’t diminish his confusion.

“i think condoms sort of make dicks taste a little weird?” stiles suddenly volunteers, which - derek doesn’t care that he’s lost anymore. he thinks he just deliberately entered into an indefinite period of being frustrated and lost and he just looks at stiles and waits a little pessimistically to be not lost anymore. “but,” stiles goes on, “i think i like you enough to want to suck yours anyway.”

okay, that was a little worth it. it was stupid, and derek hates him, but it was worth it all the same. “you know i can wash my dick, right?” derek asks him, which is the rudest and best question anyone has ever asked stiles. the rudest and best question anyone has ever asked, ever.

“if you just fucking tried it,” says stiles desperately, “one sip. one! it’s really good! it’s got peaches in it!”

“if i wanted your shitty beer, i would ask for it,” derek snaps.

“one sip,” stiles says, and he drags out the words for about a full second each. they’re lucky derek owns the building and uses the penthouse, because wow, they’re the worst. “please let me suck your dick,” he says.

“god, stiles,” says derek.

he washes his dick first. stiles is the biggest moron on the planet, and derek has just selected him out of the two-point-whatever billion other people on the planet, so, that’s where derek’s at. in his domespace. etcetera. you get it. whatever.

he explains the chad thing later, after the shower and the blowjob (excellent for both parties), when they’re too tired to argue about whether or not they want to date each other (they do, they’re just the worst). he tells derek what he’s figured out in the last three hours, which is that it wasn’t that he was uninterested in getting fucked, it was that he didn’t trust chad. his brain didn’t even let him unlock that desire until he was with somebody he trusted, someone he thought would make it good for him, would listen to him - the first instinct of self-preservation he thinks he’s ever shown. he curls into derek and thinks to himself that he hasn’t felt, like, unequivocally safe since he was a little kid, since he thought his dad both knew everything and was capable of stopping any bad guy. but he is, here. there is actually nothing that can hurt him right here. except derek, and derek won’t.

well, he’ll hurt his train of thought. and he keeps threatening to yank stiles’ head off his body. but. well. you know.

derek spoons him and thinks about how he really hates chad. he’s offered permission to shove chad down a storm drain or something if he ever sees him again. derek says nothing, but clings to that “or something.”

[parugi]

My time in the Jedi Academy RPG community

Alternative title: How I helped destabilize four forums worth of RPG players!

So I recently started posting my first let’s play, and the game I decided to play first is Jedi Academy. My reason for going with this game was not random by any means. In some ways, I attribute many of my current set of interests and skills to it--and not for particularly great reasons. Still, I can’t deny the impact it has had on me, and I feel like it’s worth it to share the absolutely insane experience that I had in the Jedi Academy RPG community back in like, 2003 to 2005ish.

I’ll be the first to admit that some of this is going to sound... very outlandish, but I guarantee that it is all 100% true as far as I can remember it. Unfortunately, for the most part, I only have my word to share, because the forums that hosted all of the evidence for this have been either shut down or archived when InvisionFree/ZetaBoards shifted over to “Tapatalk.”

Anyway, bear with me. This is me performing a sort of self-therapy after 16 years of half-repressing the memories. I’m also not sure quite where to begin, so this might jump around a bit. Again, please bear with me.

For a bit of backstory--Jedi Academy is a Star Wars game. It’s built on a system that is very mod-friendly and possessed a rather large multiplayer community back when it first released--dozens and dozens of servers with up to something like 36 players each, many of which were always full and impossible to get into. And the mod community thrived, too--there were hundreds of downloadable maps, vehicles, character skins, even mods that changed battle stances and mechanics. It was neat.

One mod in particular was called ForceMod 3, which completely revamped the multplayer so that you could select between different classes to play instead of having just a bucket of things to choose without any nuance--from Jedi Apprentices, to Jedi Masters, to smugglers, to Imperial officers followed by Stormtrooper NPCs, even a custom Yuuzong Vong class with its own adjusted mechanics. Each came with its own number of Force points, its own designated weapons, even differences in health/shield distribution. Obviously, this made it perfect for role-playing, and more than one set of users recognized this.

I don’t know exactly when or how my brother and I discovered FM3, but at some point I logged on and noticed something different about the servers being run on it. For one, there were not as many; the most I ever saw was 8 at a time, quite different from the standard 30+ on vanilla multiplayer. More than that, there were servers designated as “RPG” servers, a term I, at the time, had never encountered before. When I first discovered this, there were only three big RPG servers:

ForceMod 3 RPG Server

((RPG_Server))

and one whose name I do not remember; it was something like Jedi Enclave

The third does not matter as much, because it only suffered from the following series of events as a side-effect of the other two causing them. But we’ll get to that.

Also of note, this list would later include [[RPG_Network]]--my server.

Keep that in mind. Its resemblance to ((RPG_Server)) is not an accident.

Also keep in mind that I was 9/10ish at the time.

So, back to the list. I saw these “RPG servers” and joined one--((RPG_Server)). It didn’t click to me that it wasn’t the same as a free-for-all server at first, but I soon realized the difference when I noticed that people weren’t just randomly going around and killing each other. They were interacting as if they were characters.

That was interesting.

Interesting, and yet I thought nothing of it.

A couple of days later, though, I decided to give it a try. And it was fun! And interesting! I got to pretend to be a Jedi instead of just playing as a Jedi! Nice! That was in ((RPG_Server)). And it was super relaxed! Basically we got to do whatever, as long as we were playing characters. It was a nice community, and it got me hooked to RPGs, which I continue to play to this day.

They also had a forum. I would later join it.

But first, I had something to learn about RPG communities: They are not all fun and games.

((RPG_Server)) was not always up; sometimes it would not appear on the list. Usually, but not always. One day it wasn’t there--but FM3RPG was. That was fine; these RPG servers were all pretty lax, right? I’d just join it and do as I do, right?

Wrong.

I joined it, I did my thing--and got pretty immediately kicked.

FM3RPG was more of an “elitist” server--they took their RPG very seriously. That meant that you couldn’t play as certain classes without approval. In fact, unless I’m remembering incorrectly, you could not join the server at all without first getting a character approved on the forum. This was not a simple process, particularly for a 9 year old. They expected an elaborate character sheet to be submitted, with a full history and details down to the character’s height and weight.

I joined the forum. I submitted a character. I didn’t get approved.

That’s fine. ((Server)) was back up, so I went there and joined the forum, and that was dandy. But that also made me not like FM3RPG, so I didn’t go back there. I did ghost their forum, though, and it became clear that they held a low opinion of ((Server)) because ((Server)) wasn’t as stringent as FM3RPG.

IMO, that was a blessing. But not everyone thought that way.

Quick side-note--FM3RPG had a specific moderator who became infamous within the community for many, many reasons. This person went by Naru. Naru was petty to the point of banning players for expressing political views that they did not agree with.

Keep Naru in mind.

I don’t have a great recollection of what all occurred in ((RPG_Server)) before everything went to shit, but I think it was mostly fine. There were a set of three mods who had created the place, and these were the only mods/admins when I joined. They were Subrerec, Mose, and I think Maverick was the third one? They would later be joined by Marrin (replacing Tarrin, who supposedly died in a car accident about a month in (and I only say supposedly because Marrin and Tarrin were... suspiciously similar people in hindsight) and Aitrus, my friend who actually was very helpful in showing me the ropes.

Later-later, they would be joined by Docco.

Oh, Docco.

Docco was actually my friend for a while. Pretty much everyone was, actually. It was a good community when I first joined. But I was not good at accepting changing times, so that didn’t last--and here’s why.

The first crack in the structure, so to speak, came from a really petty conflict. There were these official profile avatars available on the Jedi Academy website. Subrerec, Mose, and Mav all had one, as did Marrin. I liked them, so I used one. It got reverted. I thought that was weird so used it again. Mose reverted it again and gave me a warning because “Only the mods got to use those.”

Twas a very petty thing to get someone in trouble over, and it made me dislike Mose. But whatever, find a different avatar and move on.

The second crack was a certain player named Dorian Remedy. Dorian was an... immigrant of sort from FM3RPG. He had played there and then joined ((Server)). Note, however, that he didn’t leave FM3RPG, he merely also joined ((Server)).

He was also the biggest fucking prick that I have ever had the displeasure to encounter to this day.

His modus operanti was to criticize. Not in a constructive way, either, but in the rudest way possible. And I say that even with hindsight. Dorian made no effort whatsoever to come off with any sort of empathy or tact, because he didn’t care--he was the embodiment of the elitism that pervaded FM3RPG. Anyone who wasn’t interested in a more structured RPG system, he couldn’t be bothered to give the time of day to, because they were too incompetent to understand why FM3RPG’s system was superior.

I was one of those people. Because I was 9. Do I think differently now? Certainly. At the time? No. And would I act anything like he did if I were in that boat? Hell no.

The problem with Dorian was that it didn’t matter how rude he was, because the mods, particularly Mose, agreed with him and wanted to revamp ((Server)) into a lighter version of FM3RPG. That itself was not a problem, but because of it, they would not take any sort of action against Dorian regardless of how he talked to anyone. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but I feel as though that would drive anyone insane.

Dorian would cause many, many problems for me, personally, but he did not cause this particular incident that really broke the camel’s back.

At some point, I had suggested to Subrerec and Mose the introduction of the Sith into the plot. It was a surprisingly good idea for a kid, imo, and I was allowed to do it. So I created a Sith Lord and chose an apprentice. That was my friend Docco.

And that was cool. I had fun. Until I didn’t.

One night I logged on and had this really brief message from Docco and someone else whose name I don’t even remember. It basically just said, “We need you to log on ASAP.”

So I did, because I was 9 and didn’t think to ask questions.

Turns out, they were performing a Sith coup.

They killed my Sith and overthrew me and I wasn’t allowed to do anything about it. I felt hurt and angry and betrayed because they hadn’t given me any indication of what they were planning. I like to think that if they had, I would have been fine with it, but who knows? I was 9, so maybe, or maybe not. Hard to tell.

The short of it is, Dorian made fun of me, Mose didn’t care, Docco didn’t apologize, and I was pissed off. There were some players on my side and some who weren’t. What erupted after that was basically an all-out war of constant fighting and name calling and getting suspended and everything. In a matter of weeks--or maybe days? Months? Time is an abyss--the forum had gone from something great to just this cesspool of people constantly at each others’ throats.

I was mad and decided to split off and make my own forum with my brother (also involved in all of this, unfortunately) and a friend who went by Mara Jade. We made a forum called RPG: Palace of RPers (a very not-redundant name) and it lasted about a week before Mara Jade gave admin rights to Dorian, who proceeded to change everything and locked the three of us out.

So that was the second betrayal by a friend in less than two weeks. I did not talk to Mara Jade after that. And I was stuck in ((Server)) because I am not a quitter--even at 9.

Around this same time, someone else joined the forum, and this is where things went from just a singular forum issue and cross-contaminated the entire community.

FM3RPG ousted Naru. Naru’s already tenuous popularity had tanked. And why? For a couple of reasons. One, Naru was not a teen girl, as she had claimed, but a 30-something year old man. On top of that revelation, it came out that Naru had engaged in cybersex with several underage children.

So Naru was banned from FM3RPG.

Someone named Cassandra joined ((Server)).

Immediate. Chaos.

Some people figured out pretty quickly that they were the same person. Some were doubtful but said they should get a chance even if it was true. Some just did not believe it.

I was 9 and did not believe it.

I did not believe it because Cassandra was on my side in the Sith debacle and was nice to me and Dorian, Docco, and Mose did not like her so therefore I should like her.

Docco and Mose tried to convince me otherwise and I ignored them because I was mad at them about my Sith. Dorian continued to make fun of me.

More and more people were starting to catch on, though, and at some point it was just me left defending Cassandra. Around that time, my brother and I made another forum, with help from some different friends (Reverser, Bane, Heero, Inuyasha, Duo, and Cyran Ciin--remember that last one). This was [[RPG_Network]]. We set it up and actually were able to host a server on occasion because of Reverser. So that was cool--we were sort of official.

But there was still the Cassandra issue.

I can only guess that Docco and Mose and others were just frustrated with trying to--what I realize in hindsight--protect us from an actual, straight-up child predator. I say this because they joined the [[Network]] forum and just started causing chaos, spamming and using what I consider highly disgusting images for their avatars and signatures.

They made it pretty clear what would make them stop, and that was banning Cassandra.

Which I did, but not because of their stipulation.

Around the time we got our server running, ForceMod 3 updated and did something... interesting. Whenever someone joined a server, it would show that they were joining, and it would show their IP address. At some point, Naru joined a server--don’t remember which one--and we got a picture of “her” IP.

IPs were also visible to admins of InvisionFree forums.

Naru and Cassandra had the same IP.

She tried to tell me that it was done via proxy, but even a 9 year old can experience clarity.

So I banned Cassandra from [[Network]].

I’m lucky to say that I had this revelation before anything bad happened. So I have that to be thankful for.

Anyway.

((Server)) shifted officially to a strict system like FM3RPG. It still bore the ire of FM3RPG because FM3RPG was the only “real” RPG server. Dorian got what he wanted and made sure to lord that over everyone. I didn’t want to stay, so I left and went to [[Network]].

And you know? That could have been the end of it. It really could have. But people like Dorian can’t just let kids be. So instead of letting the servers coexist--maybe not peacefully, but certainly coexist--he instead made a point of popping onto [[Network]] not infrequently to throw his weight and insults around.

I wanted to ban him, others wanted to give him his chances.

That splintered the [[Network]] admins.

Some other things also splintered the [[Network]] admins, including these key points:

Revenge of the Sith had come out pretty recently and some of us, myself included, thought a Jedi Purge copycat would be cool. Others did not. None of us agreed on what to do.

Inuyasha did this plot in [[Network]] where a 17ish year old Jedi apprentice got captured by a Hutt and violated by said Hutt’s Twi’lek slave. It was not vague what happened. I was not a fan.

Myself and Bane concocted a plot to kill multiple characters. This included multiple of Inuyasha’s characters. Bane later went public with this. This was very hypocritical of me and I am now ashamed of my involvement. It stemmed entirely from the previous point.

Everything after this is kind of a blur. The [[Network]] stuff was going on in 2005 just before my family moved to Oregon, and after we moved I kind of just dropped out--mainly because all of this drama had spread so far and wide that a large chunk of the entire RPG playerbase had up and quit. That and I’m pretty sure my account was banned from ((Server)) at some point. I do know that during that time, my remaining Jedi character was killed in their Jedi Purge. I do have to give Dorian some credit for giving Master Kyle South a cool death scene, if nothing else.

Anyway, [[Network]] was basically dead by the time we moved, ((Server)) was barely on its last leg, and FM3RPG was ruined because of Dorian’s attitude across Network, Server, and Enclave (which also just died without much fanfare). At some point my brother attempted a revival of [[Network]], but that did not really take off and the entire thing just became a board full of spam.

Buuut that revival was after a certain event that served, I think, as just the final nail in the coffin.

And that was caused by one Cyran Ciin.

I was not around to witness this, but here is what I understand occurred:

Cyran Ciin did something to [[Network]]. This basically killed it. I don’t know what he did exactly, just that there was something done.

This got him in the good graces of Mose, and he became an admin on ((Server))’s forum.

However, Cyran Ciin was actually also from FM3RPG originally, and had a thing against ((Server)) and the other RPG servers. So, now an admin, he was free to just completely demolish ((Server))’s forum.

Just, everything moved into a trash bin, the forums rearranged, the background changed to a spam image, and all of the other mods and admins revoked of their privileges.

Karma? Maybe. 

Additional karma? Those actions getting Cyran Ciin banned from FM3RPG.

He didn’t care, though. He thought it was hilarious. I think he was an actual sociopath.

Anyway, FM3RPG was done. Their players had a reputation now and no one wanted to be associated with them. That’s my assumption, anyway. They might’ve just died to time like everyone else.

It doesn’t matter, though. The FM3 RPG community was dead--r.i.p 2003-2006ish.

There is an epilogue of a sort.

((Server))’s forums and [[Network]]’s forums were dead, but not gone--for a while. I found I was able to get back to both by correctly recalling their addresses--s6_invisionfree.com/rpg_server and I believe it was z11_invisionfree.com/rpg_network. Neither works now, of course, but they did for a time.

My brother gave me his login information for Network, so I was able to look around and see all the great things I had missed after the reboot. Luckily everything else was gone--during the reboot they had completely wiped the forums of everything from the first run, including the evidence of what I had done as a bad admin. That was nice. But I didn’t like what I saw, so I locked the forum, forgot the login information, and only occasionally looked at it via a throwaway account that I had made under the name of boxabox (password: boxabox).

The forum is gone with the change to Tapatalk, so that information is all useless now.

The real “heartwarming” epilogue comes from ((Server)). For a while, again, the forums remained accessible, and so I logged on back in like, 2013 or 2014. Surprisingly there was a thread that ran for a few days where someone was basically like “yo anyone still around?” A few people responded, including Docco, which was astounding. No Dorian, which was great.

Somehow I still remembered my login and password (although I don’t now) and decided to post on there.

The initial response was, unsurprisingly, not friendly, but long story short, Docco and I made amends and never spoke again after that.

By what I am sure is sheer coincidence, the forum got locked only a couple of weeks later, with only admin access enabled. So everything from there was already gone, and is now double-gone with the switch to Tapatalk.

I did discover that FM3RPG’s forum remains open, though. I won’t link to it because I don’t want to, but if you really want to, you can certainly find it--no login required.

Aaand that’s that. That’s my sordid history with the Jedi Academy RPG community. I won’t say I killed it, because that would be taking way too much burden of the responsibility, but... Well, let’s just say that I found a wikipedia-esque article about this same community several years back and I was mentioned as an important figure in everything that transpired. I have no idea where that page is now, but hey, it existed at some point, so I gotta own it.

Peace.

[galacticgraffiti]

hi i just woke up and it’s time to rage

how the fuck dare you slide into Honey’s dms and demand, not even ask politely, but demand to know this in the rudest possible tone?

Creators owe you absolutely fucking nothing. Just because our requests are open doesn’t mean we have the time or patience or motivation for every single one of them.

I have requests still sitting in my inbox from months ago back when my requests were actually open. And yes, I feel bad about that, and yes, I apologise to the people who sent these in and trust me to write a story they want to hear. I love that they chose me to write out their ideas and I’m honoured by that.

But sometimes I simply don’t have the capacity to write even when I love a prompt or idea. Sometimes, life gets in the way, or another story, or whatever. Sometimes I want to write but I’m just tired. And while I think it’s fair to ask POLITELY if your request has been denied or if it will get written at some point, the tone in your ask is fucking unacceptable.

You sound like an entitled whiny little bitch and I mean that as the worst possible insult. If there was a way to find out what you requested, I would do so just so that would never be written. You don’t deserve the time of day it took me to even write this out, and you sure as fuck don’t deserve the effort and love and care Honey puts into her stories.

From the bottom of my heart, just a huge sincere fuck you. Support your creators, don’t be rude. It’s not that hard and somehow you still managed to fuck up royally. I’m so mad right now, because messages like these are why creators leave; why they deactivate and stop writing.

Ily Honey and you handled this much more patiently than I would have. Sending you all the hugs and disgusting-anon-repulsing-vibes I can.

Erm okay so I requested something from you as soon as your requests open and I’m still waiting??? I feel lyk your taking the piss a little. I mean, how long does it take you to do one request???? Smh won’t bother in future…

Erm

here are all 20 of my drafts of request. Give me some credit where’s it’s due, tar.

[eldritchsurveys]

723.

How fast can you say the alphabet? >> I mean, quite fast, I guess.

What are you allergic to? >> I’m not allergic to anything.

If your life were a commercial, what would your commercial jingle say? >> I would not want my life to be trivialised like that.

How many serious relationships have you had? >> Hm.

If you could read one person's mind, who would it be? >> I wouldn’t want to read anyone’s mind. That’s their space, the one place that is inalienably private. I don’t belong in it.

If someone dared you, what dare would you be afraid to attempt? >> ---

How do you like your eggs? >> It depends on the dish.

What's your most expensive piece of clothing? >> My suit, because it was bespoke.

What was your last big achievement? >> I don’t remember the last time I achieved anything, let alone something big. Except, like... video game milestones.

What famous person's memoire would you like to read? >> I had a phase of reading rockstar bios and autobios for a while in my twenties. There are very few people I am interested in enough to read a whole book about, though. And it’s mostly still musicians. Like, I’d read Nick Cave’s memoir if he wrote one.

Have you ever had a "false alarm" moment, what was it about? >> I can’t think of one off the top of my head, but probably.

Do you know how to ride a bike? >> Yeah.

If you could breed two species together what new animal would you create? >> I would rather not, tbh.

Rename a boot camp based on your current fitness level. >> ---

What 5 world leaders would you make sit down in a room to discuss issues? >> I wouldn’t do that. I have no faith in the ability of world leaders to work together like that.

If you were in the hospital who are the two people you'd want by your side? >> Er, there’s only one person I can imagine hanging around while I’m in hospital.

When was the last time you cried and what made you cry? >> Oh, god, it was because of this thing that happened Inworld last night. Oof.

If you could ever take a street sign, what sign do you want? >> I don’t want to take any street signs.

What is your favorite ride at any amusement park? >> ---

Have you ever raised money for chariety? >> Nope.

How do you feel about growing older? >> I don’t really think about it too much except in fleeting feelings of either excitement or anxiety. Mostly I’m interested in what will happen, but also I’m afraid I’ll not live long enough (or become too infirm to enjoy it or something).

What wild animal scares you? >> None as a rule, because I don’t really encounter wild animals often enough to have cultivated a fear of any. But if I was in the situation where like, I was camping and saw a bear or something, yeah, I’d be afraid then.

Do you think actors and athletes are overpaid? >> Sure.

Have you ever been alienated, if so for what? >> I don’t know if anyone has ever intended to alienate me. I know that I feel alienated very often, but that feeling is not necessarily indicative of a thing that’s actually happening.

Have you ever not returned something you borrowed and if so what was it? >> Yeah, library books.

When you pack your lunch, what's your favorite packed lunch? >> ---

What was the one most important thing you learned from your parents? >> Hrm.

How fast can you run? >> Fast enough, I guess. I was always better with sprinting than endurance running.

Have you done something you worry could come back to haunt you, what? >> I mean, I don’t really worry about that, but that’s always a possibility, I guess?

What is your most favorite feature of your favorite electronic device? >> I don’t have a favourite electronic device, I love all of them equally.

If you had to build a small ark, what 7 animals would you save? >> *baffled blink*

What is your favorite Christmas or holiday tradition? >> My favourite tradition is going to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra. When we can afford it, of course.

What novel would you love to be transported into to live out your days? >> I don’t really read the kind of novels that I’d want to inhabit, lmao.

What is your favorite hiding place? >> ---

What is something your parents love that you actually love too? >> ---

Have anyone ever said "I love you" and you couldn't say it back. >> Well, yes, but not because I didn’t return the sentiment, but because I have an enormous mental block against saying stuff like that.

Have you ever ridden a camel? >> Nope.

What's been the hardest loss you've had to take? >> They were all hard, fuck off.

What emotion is your least favorite and the one you are not in touch with? >> Er... well, I’m not in touch with most of my emotions, which is why I have to do so much work on emotional regulation and self-soothing. My least favourites are anger and anxiety because my physiological responses to them are off the charts.

Do you think facial moles or freckles are cute? >> Not... particularly? I don’t really think about them, is what I’m saying.

Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? >> I don’t drive, so this will never be an issue.

What was your funniest computer or phone wallpaper? >> I don’t have any funny wallpapers.

If you're searching for a relationship, where is your go place to look? >> Inworld.

When and where are you happiest? >> I don’t know, man.

What was your favorite age, so far? >> ---

What is your favorite part of the day? >> Any quiet part of the day.

What book have you read multiple times? >> Anthem is one.

Do you keep a budget? >> No, my income is so low and expenses so few that I can keep it all in my mind with no problem.

Have you ever test driven a car you knew you weren't going to buy? >> ---

What should we take measure of that we currently don't? >> Er, who is “we”, first of all...

Pretend you're doing an interview, what's the first question? >> What???

What do you have a hard time visualizing? >> I don’t know. Visualisation is something I think comes pretty naturally to me.

What makes you feel uncomfortable in group settings? >> The “group” part.

Who is your favorite crooner? >> Hmm. Nat King Cole, maybe.

What was your worst date ever? >> Every time I went out with Tommy and he left the date early to go cop drugs. Or was high or drunk during the date and nodded off at the table or behaved erratically. Or... well, you get the picture.

Have you ever gotten in a bidding war on Ebay, if so for what item? >> Nope.

If you had to pick one food to eat everyday for life, what would it be? >> No. I don’t want to be malnourished.

Are you supportive of your friends even if you don't agree with them? >> I’m supportive of my friends’ right to live their lives as they see fit, without being judged by me or anyone else. The only time I’d speak up is if I am concerned for their well-being especially if it’s something I’ve had past experience with, but at this point I’m so tired of having my genuine concern brushed off as if the fact that I care is unimportant that I might not even bother in the future.

Have you ever used the opposite sex restroom in an emergency? >> Not for that reason, no.

What did you think was stupid until you tried it? >> I can’t think of anything.

What subject do you and your parents never see eye to eye on? >> ---

What gets better with age? >> Staying at home, lmao.

What do you most dislike about your appearance? >> I don’t want to think about this right now.

Where do you see yourself in 1 year's time? >> I’m imaginative but my imagination doesn’t work that way at all.

How scared of the dark are you? >> I’m not.

What is your favorite type of seafood? >> Good question. I don’t think I have a favourite type. I’m just always down for seafood.

What triggers your inner shopaholic? >> I don’t have one of those...

What is the rudest thing a person can do to another person in your opinion? >> I don’t have an opinion about that.

What public figure do you disagree with the most? >> ---

Do you think you could ever be a firefighter, why/why not? >> No. I have too many sensory issues and shit. Just thinking about being stuffed in one of those firefighter suits makes me want to claw my skin off. Also, those fucking alarms! Fuck no.

What is/was your favorite bedtime story? >> ---

What was the last thing to make you feel happy? >> I hugged a plushie.

What is your opinion on rats as pets? >> I think rats are great! If you have a rat and you take good care of it, you’re awesome.

What is something you're afraid to try? >> Vulnerability.

What cartoon character best describes you? >> I don’t know.

What keeps you interested in your goals or dreams? >> ---

What is your favorite actress beginning with the letter J? >> Er... I don’t think I have one.

What song makes you dance uncontrollably? >> Uncontrollable dancing sounds uncomfortable and a bit dodgy. Am I being possessed??? Anyway, Big Freedia songs always make me want to dance, because that’s literally what their music is made for.

If you wanted to live off the radar where would you live? >> I wouldn’t want to live off the radar. I definitely understand the appeal, but I have too many needs that require me to be connected to society in at least a perfunctory fashion.

Do you like nachos, if so what topping is a MUST have? >> They’re all right sometimes. I don’t know what my must-have topping would be.

Do you have any subscriptions? >> Well, yeah, to streaming services and stuff.

Which is better, Mario or Sonic? >> I don’t have an opinion.

Who is the most creative person you know? >> ---

Besides a pickle, what is your favorite thing pickled? >> I don’t know if I’ve had any pickled thing that wasn’t a pickle. I’d like to try some.

What did you do for your 21st birthday? If not, 21 what are your plans? >> I don’t remember. It’s extremely likely that I didn’t do anything at all.

Are you OCD about anything? >> I don’t have obsessive-compulsive disorder, so by default the answer is “no”.

Are you a role model for anyone in your life? >> I assume not.

What song do you hate the most? >> ---

How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? >> I think there’s something thrilling about the idea that you’ll find the most amazing clothing item or knickknack or whatever for a steep discount, which is what makes thrifting an Activity(tm) rather than just some routine shopping. But personally, I find thrift stores kind of stressful because there’s always so much stuff. And none of it is ever in any order that I can navigate, and the store is always either intimidatingly large or claustrophobically small, and it's just A Lot. (Also, I don’t enjoy shopping in the first place, and thrifting is kind of like Advanced Shopping...)

What makes you feel rested and refreshed? >> Chilling out in my room doing whatever. I guess. Or being Inworld, more likely.

Do you think you need to slow down and enjoy life more? >> I think I’m pretty slow by nature, but I also spend a lot of time in my own head because of Trauma Brain, and I wish it wasn’t like that. I feel like I miss out on a lot because I’m always busy managing myself.

In what way are you too hard on yourself? >> In what way am I not??

Can you impersonate anyone famous? >> No.

If you could go back in time to change one think what would it be? >> I wouldn’t do this. I’m firmly against it.

Can you honestly say you're enjoying your life right now? >> No, I cannot honestly say that. What I can honestly say is that I’m doing my best.

What is your favorite salty snack? >> All my favourite snacks are salty, so.

What conundrum have you ever faced? >> Er... this question.

What is your favorite restaurant? >> Maybe Long Road Distillery. I don’t really have a favourite restaurant, but they make some damn good everything over there.

Have you ever been in a play for school? >> It was during the summer, like a “summer arts program” or whatever, but yeah.