#i know i say a lot of these ships are my brainrot

[pastara-cell]

Clay x Peril ship bingo

Okay so, in arc 1, I found this one hard to ship. Peril seemed to love clay just out of loneliness, or desperation for anyone who could be around her, which I dont blame her for, but it wasn’t healthy. It was almost as bad for clay. He hadn’t EVER been out of that cave, like, EVER, and the first thing that had happened was getting kidnapped and forced to fight in a rink for an evil queen’s entertainment- Im actually really happy they didn’t get together in arc 1, they would NOT have been healthy, and I believe that clay didn’t like peril romantically in arc one either.

That being said, I LOVE arc 2 clay x peril, specifically after Peril’s book. peril, while not completely healed, figures out that she can think for herself, and finally starts to figure out how to talk with people and figures out that not everyone is an awful dragon who’s afraid of her (thank you turtle! Love you 🫶) and just overall seems to understand herself a lot more.

Clay, also, Gets his chance to start understanding the world, interacting with all the tribes, getting to know generations of past dragons, and seemingly overall a lot more matured than he was when he first came out of the mountain.

I think that, despite peril and clay being quite the toxic pair in arc 1, arc 2 PerilxClay is one of my favourite ships. Peril managing to get snapped out of animus magic was a result of her knowing clay. Clay, of course, is one of the only dragons who can even touch her is also a cute touch, and works out nicely. I love how Clay doesn’t seem to develop a crush on peril in the first arc, but its shown that he waits to start healing from his experiences under the mountain before those feeling develop.

I love how, despite everything, through all of peril’s book in arc 2, clay is the #1 thing pushing her to be good. Yes, eventually that changes to her doing good just to do good, but he was that original push to start healing from everything.

I firmly believe they’re soulmates

They were meant to find eachother

And meant to heal together

Yeah i like em a little bit :3 <3 🧡🤎/♥️🩵

[aceisferal]

Why is Din shipped with like. Primarily Tattooine-based lads. Like there’s:

Dinluke: Luke Skywalker is basically Tattooines idk Jedi guy™️ I don’t feel like I’ve gotta explain this it’s covered in the first Star Wars movie

Dincobb: Tattooine cowboy sheriff man Cobb Vanth

BobaDin: Boba is less tattooine-raised but he is literally leading. A decent chunk of it with Moss Pelgos (I think. I’m forgetting the city he leads’s name. Star Wars fans don’t kill me please). Also he spent a lot of time with the sand people (I don’t think that’s their actual name sorry❤️❤️). I think he’s basically tattooinian now

What is it with the metal man and some sandy-cowboys. I know he’s on the planet a lot because it’s kind of like crime-central and he’s got friends there, but like man oh man. He’s got to leave that planet and be finding sand in his armour for weeks

[quietwingsinthesky]

sometimes interpreting media through a shipping lens enhances it, on occasion even beyond the author’s original intent, but sometimes, you do have to accept that your ship was not in the heads of anyone making the source material and trying to force it to fit into evidence of your ship will severely hinder your ability to discuss the actual text.

[trashlie]

Love your thoughts on ep 231 ohmygod you (and poisonheart) summed everything up perfectly! What I would like to add for your consideration is that it feels like Nol indirectly projects his own fears about his situation with Shin-ae when he talks about Dieter. And it doesn't take away from his empathy for Dieter or his guilt, it's another layer for us readers to pick up on. "Those feelings take forever to vanish" and "it doesn't help that you spend time with him" and "all [stringing him along and being wishy-washy] does is prolong the pain" -- Nol fears this might happen to him if Shin-ae keeps insisting there's nothing between them, or if she rejects him and wants to stay "just friends". And it's obvious that he is absolutely not willing to go through that, not on top of everything else he's already dealing with. Dieter might be okay with being "just friends", that's his choice, but Nol knows he cannot take that same route. He doesn't have the willpower to swallow all his feelings and pretend like he's fine with being "just friends", especially when all the signs that she has similar feelings for him are there. That would be unbearable. I believe that is where, maybe just subconsciously, part of his frustration and this urgency, but also his resolution and "all in"-mindset come from. His options are just really limited.

Also. It needs to be said that Nol pushing Shin-ae to find the answer on her own instead of giving it to her was probably the best thing he could do. He gave her a lot to think about and evaluate when he implied that their shared moment was romantic and that Dieter also thinks that, and pointed out that it's him who she has a special connection with and not Dieter, that "because we're friends" doesn't explain her actions and behavior (and feelings) anymore. And then he topped it all off with the "convince me" and The Look™ (which I believe was a calculated move) that made her blush and avert her eyes for the 274th time in the past couple of hours, to really drive home that whatever this is, it doesn't fit the term "platonic" anymore. What is it then, to her? That's something she has to realize herself. It's not for him to tell her, to explain it to her. It's actually crazy that by rejecting her "we're friends" answer and kicking her out, he essentially said "come back when you've figured out that you're in love with me" LIKE. SCREAMS. People are saying he should've just told her how he feels, but... Time and place. What good would that even do when she's mad at him and still so stuck on the friendship thing? She's in no way prepared to hear a confession from him. It'd overwhelm and confuse her. And what kind of response would she even give in the state she's in, realistically? That'd be so messy and YELLS some people simply cannot appreciate the TENSION THE ANGST THE SUBTEXT ALL THE THINGS UNSPOKEN IN THE AIR BETWEEN THEM like come on we can have lil a miscommunication as a treat, especially when it fits the narrative… Y'all are gonna get your fluffy moments soon enough, let us enjoy the PAIN so that the payoff is much sweeter. GAH.

YELLS some people simply cannot appreciate the TENSION THE ANGST THE SUBTEXT ALL THE THINGS UNSPOKEN IN THE AIR BETWEEN THEM like come on we can have lil a miscommunication as a treat

YOU GET IT ANON YOU GET IT YOU ABSOLUTELY GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am screaming from the roof I am hanging off the gutters screaming YOU FUCKING GET IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Like, on some level I understand why people want to rush to a certain point want to jump to confirmations but to me IT'S NOT READY WE'RE NOT READY. I am into PINING I am into YEARNING I need a man to become VERY PATHETIC about the girl he likes I need him to writhe in agony over what he wants I need conflict I need the embarrassing realization about a character's feelings i need them blushing in the dark all alone with their stomach twisting up their heart rustling with all the butterflies trying to break out of their rib cage. I need them meeting and averting gazes and feeling so on display and so vulnerable and RAW i need them EMBARRASSED that they have feelings GROSS EWW HOW DID THIS HAPPEN i need subconcious dreams i need toes curling i need the want the want the WANT holding back bUT BARELY HOLDING BACK

I need tension SO GOOD SO DELECTABLE i'm bouncing off the walls and ceilings like a todder who just ate their way through all the sugar in the house. i need LOADED moments that make me throw down my phone i need the subtext!!!!!!!! I need to inject it in my veins and shriek like a banshee WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE WANT TO SKIP THIS PART WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO JUST JUMP TO THE NEXT PART THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF THIS IS! WHAT! ROMANCES ARE MADE OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's the things that lead up to it, it's the build up, it's the WANTING to crush them together the DYING FOR IT TO HAPPEN.

but anyway

lemme pretend to be normal about this for a bit

I think what's soooooo good about the subtext is YES all those things unsaid. That as much as Nol is speaking on Dieter's behalf - he speaks on his own. It's not that Shinae needs to figure out her feelings for Dieter's sake but for his own, too, because RIGHT because she is too important to him now THIS is too important it means too much and he WANTS IT TOO MUCH to be wishy wash to be half-assed to be either or not. And that's what is SO GOOD to me. He IS scared. He needs her to come to the realization, to face the truth and embrace it because he needs it to be true. He needs to know what he suspects is true.

scales the walls i'm sorry i lied i CAN'T BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS I CANNOT BE NORMAL ABOUT THEM ANYMORE

He doesn't have the willpower to swallow all his feelings and pretend like he's fine with being "just friends", especially when all the signs that she has similar feelings for him are there. That would be unbearable.

Nol has spent so much of his time trying to close himself off, to isolate himself and to just seal himself away and then here's Shinae, mirroring him, chasing him down and trying to pull him out of every hole he tries to hide himself in. She is beating down his doors she is telling him at every opportunity that she loves him that he is important that she can't throw this all away.

And we've established before: Nol can't resist her. At all!!!!! He tries and he fails at every time. He tries to block her away but he still leaves her these openings. Like, he blocked her number but he STILL LOOKED AT HIS SPAM knowing what kind of message would be in there.

He tells himself he doesn't want it doesn't deserve it but he DOES. He LIKES that she cares. He LIKES that she sees him. He tried to make himself not care, but he wants it. He WAS disappointed when Shinae left after the dance - because he pushed her away again, because her hurt her again. He's so afraid of losing her at this point (I'm sure that's part of why he couldn't look at her at the time - not just that he was crying and doesn't want to be seen like that, but he must be scared, afraid that after he leaves this will all disappear she'll change her feelings it won't mean anything anymore) and when he pulled off the blindfold she was gone.

It's like.... kind of like Shinae says - they've been through so much together. But because he's aware of those feelings now - because he knows what she means to him, he CAN'T go back. Going back to just friends? After she's pushed for him after she's fought for him after she's boxed down his walls?

How can he go back to it? HOW?

Shinae made him open up, too. He has revealed so much more to her than I think he's revealed to others. Alyssa probably knows more about his life than Soushi and Dieter, but I think he's revealed more to Shinae. She made him care and how can go back to being "just friends".

Usually I hate that argument but in his case, I get it. Shinae is so important to him, means so much (HE LITERALLY IS ALIVE BECAUSE OF HER AT THIS POINT) and to go back to just.... not feeling this? To being just friends? We've watched him reach out to her SO MANY TIMES and deny himself. And now that he has? Now that he's reached out now that he has felt these things? It would be so unbearable!

What is it then, to her? That's something she has to realize herself. It's not for him to tell her, to explain it to her. It's actually crazy that by rejecting her "we're friends" answer and kicking her out, he essentially said "come back when you've figured out that you're in love with me" LIKE. SCREAMS.

GOD I KNOW I KNOW I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOW SCREAMS AND SCURRIES UP THE WALL AGAIN

I LOVE that he's leaving it to her. I fully think Shinae has been, partly, influenced by Dieter's feelings for her. Would she have started to feel anything for him if she didn't know he already likes her? Would she have seen anything in the way he looks at her if she didn't know it already? And I FULLY think Nol confessing at this time would have made things worse - it would confuse her! And I think it would probably make her avoid him. I don't think she'd be able to handle it if he confessed because she doesn't even know her own feelings, let alone how to handle his. And BECAUSE his feelings are intricately tied to hers in relation to what Dieter oversaw it would absolutely influence her own feelings.

She's got to be able to come to this realization herself because, frankly, she's been confessing to him ALL fucking night long. She keeps telling him how important he is to her, what he means to her! But she doesn't understand WHY he's important to her. She doesn't understand WHY she's putting all her energy into hanging on to him, into tethering him to her. And as much it's not fair to Dieter, it's also not fair to Nol, either, for those confused feelings to go on all tangled up. But likewise, Nol IS telling her how he feels, too - just, you know. Subtextually.

Comparing their relationship to Dieter's to illuminate just how different they, how much more intense theirs is compared to what she has with Dieter. That fucking LINE the "not even as friends" ;______; It's about the way she elevates Nol above him, the way she will drop everything for him. He knows it! Dieter can see it! But she can't see it for what it is yet and he needs her to. He keeps showing her what he feels by telling her what Dieter saw. That it wasn't just platonic - not from him. She's so insistent it didn't mean anything that it's not romantic even though HE WAS LOOKING AT HER LIKE THAT. HE WAS COMMANDING HER TAKE OFF HER SHOES LIKE THAT. She was getting SO WORKED UP about that moment!!!!!! THIS MAN ASKED HER TO DANCE IN THE MOST INTENSE FUCKING WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SHE IS CONVINCED IT'S SO PLATONIC JUST

JUST FUCKING

/SCREAMS/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thinking about it from Dieter's POV is really NUTS, too, because he sees the things Shinae doesn't know how to identify. Even before the whole dancing thing (the idea of DIETER seeing the Shinae that Nol didn't, seeing how happy she was, how much fun she was having), thinking about like.... it really starts when Shinae gives him her gift, right? She gets SO EMBARRASSED - SO SHY about him seeing it and she thinks it's so simple and that it can't compare bUT IT DOES. It's a call back to their early days, the whole "you don't suck that much" akjakfkafkjafjkafkjfkjfa THE WAY WE DON'T SEE HIS EYES WE JUST SEE HIM LOOK OVER AT HER SO SHY TRYING NOT TO TAKE NOTICE and then suddenly he's just. OVERCOME. He's reaching out he's touching her hair!!!!!!!!!!! She isn't even pulling away!!!!!!!! He's leaning in they're so close they're just IN EACH OTHER'S SPACE and imagine it from his POV, how he's seeing it, that chemistry that just EXISTS between them, that intimacy and tenderness that's just LOADED and how he can probably feel it so heavy in the pit of his stomach because could he ever be so bold? No, never. Could he reach out and touch her like that? Encroach on her space? Sit so close to her? The flirting with the finger dancing and their giggles and the ease they're just SO EFFORTLESS and he doesn't have that and he knows it and he's known all along but now he has to ACCEPT it now he has to face the reality that everything he worried about everything he feared is true that there's no room for him in between them there and LJFAKKFKAFLAFKJAF

IT'S SO INSANE that she's just like BUT IT WAS JUST FRIENDS

There's nothing "friends" about that babes and Nol knows it and Dieter knows it and we know it but SHE needs to come to the conclusion. She needs to wake up and realize that oh my god that's why it all matters that's what it all means that's why she's fighting so hard that's why he's so important. And then being able to see all the things he said to her between the lines, what it meant for Dieter to oversee that I just

ROARS JUST SCREAMS FROM THE ROOFTOP

I'm SO glad Nol hasn't confessed! It would be SO messy! It would make things so much worse it would hurt so much for EVERYONE. She's gotta sort out her feelings! Nol is really good at reading her, and he knows how to push her in the right direction. It's not the right time. I think maybe people who want him to confess don't see it that way - that it would be so overwhelming and probably scare her off. i mean, even coming to the realization on her own will probably give her a scare, but it's different when she realizes that oh, I'M in love with him AS WELL as oh god HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME? compared to him confessing and leaving her feeling even more confused

like don't get me wrong there's a part of me that likes to imagine him just BREAKING and bursting out that "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, OKAY! IT DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING TO ME" but I do prefer the canon. That's just good for a nice moment of imagined dramatics, you know?

But also. YEAH. We just. We need to RIDE OUT SOME NICE YEARNING AND FEELINGS AND ANGST FIRST. I'm pretty sure it won't last. Quimchee doesn't like drawing these things out and Shinae's confused feelings are a clear subversion of "girl does not realize she's in love" so I am confident the truth is going to hit her, but until then I want to enjoy the writhing and the ache!!!! Because that's what makes it SO MUCH BETTER when they can finally admit it!!!!!!! Where's the fun in jumping right to it? I want to SAVOR this so that when they can admit it, when they can say the words, when they can face the reality, it feels SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!! There's so much RELIEF!!!!!!!

I'm fully certain we'll see that before Nol goes to jail - the whole of this confrontation would mean NOTHING if he leaves while things are unresolved. The entirety of this whole ovearching arc of his return would be undone and leave us right back where we were, with no resolution, no one knowing where they stand. So like. Come on guys, it's coming just sit back and enjoy this ride a bit. When you think about it we haven't even been in this stage long! Like WE've been watching them fall in love this whole time, we've been watching them find a home in each other, we've been watching their souls come together intertwine and connect and imprint but THEY haven't sat with this long at all. Nol ONLY JUST REALIZED he has feelings.

HE HASN'T PINED YET AND I NEED HIM TO PINE I NEED HIM TO BE A LIL PATHETIC ABOUT HER I NEED HIM TO WRING HER HEADBAND AROUND IN HIS HANDS A LIL MORE AND SQUIRM WITH ALL THESE THOUGHTS THAT HE KEEPS TRYING TO FIGHT OUT OF HIS BRAIN THAT WON'T GO AWAY

I need Shinae to have an awakening dream about all the subtext all the things unsaid all the subconscious feelings she isn't aware of creeping in and if involves them kissing then WHO AM I TO SAY NO?

I cannot be normal anymore I'm sorry but I AM going to be unhinged and scream about them AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[reve-writes]

—the set-up; kaz brekker.

ʚ kaz brekker x reader | grishaverse | 1,8k words. ʚ from this request. | three times the crows plan to set you and kaz up + the one time they find out you're married. ʚ fluff; the crows are featured (incl. wesper & helnik ship); kaz's touch aversion isn't featured. ʚ a/n this has been sitting in the drafts for a bit. ive been suffering down the leon brainrot hole (honestly an excellent one to fall into). kaz calls reader schatje (i have a fic where he does this. i chose schatje because ketterdam is loosely inspired from 1500s-1700s amsterdam!). i wrote this in a goofy way honestly.

one. he smiles.

Wylan fiddles with jars and tubes filled with an assortment of chemicals—some of them tend to explode, all of them horrible smelling. He's supposed to be on guard duty and he prefers it over running around guns blazing alongside Jesper—as much as he loves the sharpshooter, gunshots give him a lot of anxiety.

He peers into the room where most of the work is happening.

You are poring over stacks of documents, eyes scanning quickly top-to-bottom to find relevant information. Kaz has his ear pressed against the front of a safe, gloved hand twisting the lock. You move around him in the cramped office space with relative ease, grabbing more files to read on the desk.

It doesn't take long for the safe to swing open.

“No safe is safe from Kaz Brekker, the safe-cracker, huh?” you comment. A light, teasing smile decorates your lips.

“Please never say that sentence again.”

To Wylan's surprise, the ever-frowning Dirtyhands smiles. Not the half-hearted hospitable smile he occasionally gives out, or the scary half-sneer half-smirk that is so intimidating it scares even Wylan sometimes. No, a genuine, amused smile. It is so unnatural that he has to look away, a hand clasped over his mouth in shock.

When he tells Jesper, the taller man mirrors his reaction, dark eyes blown wide and jaw unhinged.

“He smiled?” Jesper gives an incredulous stare as if Wylan has just told him that he is a member of the Council of Tide—which is impossible with Wylan's lack of Grisha ability, let alone tidemaking. “He smiled over that?”

Wylan nods enthusiastically.

“We are talking about the same Kaz?”

“Are there any other Kaz that we know?” Wylan sighs.

“Well, no—”

“I think we have to proceed with the plan,” Wylan ponders. Jesper blinks widely.

“The plan?”

“Nina's plan!” Wylan looks at Jesper as if he's just gotten a strike of inspiration, hand in the air, pointing at nothing in particular. “Operation Kaz and ____. Remember?”

Jesper remembers. It was so ridiculous that it remains impossible to remove from his memory to this day, even though it was mentioned in passing.

Nina, flushed red from too many drinks, suddenly shoots her hand up, flailing it limply. The founder of the idea seems to have a plan ready to set in motion.

“We are the gods of love!” She drunkenly declares, free hand moves to tap Wylan's cheeks repeatedly. “And as the benevolent gods that we are, our first mission is them.”

Nina pushes Wylan's face towards you and Kaz, sat at the bar, deep in conversation. The rest of the Crows followed suit, realising Nina's suggestion. She stumbles over drunkenly and with little-to-no care on making it look as natural or accidental as she can, "trips" over her foot and falls forward.

You take the brunt of the force, being pushed forward that you fall onto Kaz. The latter glares at Nina, hand coming to your shoulder to steady you.

“My bad.... It seems I've lost my balance,” she slurs. “Oh! Would you look at that? The two of you would make quite a pair, don't you think so, Matthias?”

Matthias raises an eyebrow, already hauling Nina with him to get back to their table.

“Poor Helvar,” says Kaz simply, nudging you to get back on the barstool.

“He doesn't seem to mind,” you retort, noting Matthias' loving gaze as he escorts Nina.

It doesn't take long before the chaos settles, leaving you and Kaz, still engaging in conversation as the last patrons leave the Crow Club.

“We would make a good pair, huh?” You tease, reaching over to brush your hand against his, leather soft under your palm. “You think so?”

Kaz looks at you pointedly, tugging your left hand towards him, fingers pressing on the small diamond adorning your ring finger. “Would I have given you this, if I didn't?”

Smooth with his words without even trying. A trait you find both annoying and endearing after all the years you've been together.

“I mean you have a lot of diamonds lying around—”

“Schatje.”

“Yes?” All train of thought immediately halts on its tracks. The petname has a hold over you that he oh-so-often uses as leverage. You pout. “Stop distracting me.”

He smiles—soft and uncharacteristic, contradictory to the harsh rasp of his voice and the rough scars on his skin. He smiles a smile he reserves only for your eyes, and you're falling for it, a hundred times over.

two. the demjin.

You don't like when Kaz gets like this—all wrung up over a waivable matter. It reminds you a lot of what he had to be before, the things he had to do and what Dirtyhands actually stood for. Not at all akin to the Kaz Brekker you know—the one who immediately comes whenever one of your crew is threatened, the one who stays up with you as you wait for the rest of your little heist crew to return, the one who goes out of his way to collect little trinkets to bring home to you.

You are hurt, shallow cuts all over your body from a little dagger scuffle with a mercenary, but you're a member of the Dregs—this, you can take. A little Heartrender magic and some bandages, you will recover in no time.

“You're back.”

Kaz stops and you look over him to find his knuckles bloodied, hair stuck out of place and clothes disheveled.

“You're alright, schatje?”

His room at the Slat isn't big contrary to popular belief. He sinks into his chair with a huge sigh. You're watching him three steps away from the edge of his bed.

“What did you do?”

He shrugs, tugging his coat off. “Business.”

“You went after them.”

“It was one part of the business.” He pulls at his gloves, shedding them into the trash—too bloodied for him to bother cleaning. “Are you sure you're alright?”

You tuck your hands into your elbows, displeasure visible across your features. “Are you?”

“Why wouldn't I be?”

“Kaz.”

“They deserved it,” he stubbornly says. “I had to make sure they know not to involve themselves with us. You understand. Besides, I'm alright.”

“I do understand,” you relent. It is business. The Barrell doesn't stop for poets or musicians or lovers, no, it thrives off of the back of violence, taking an eye for an eye. “I just wish that you were here when I woke up.”

His shoulders loosen and he is your Kaz again. Not the one molded by Ketterdam, birthed at its harbour. He's the man so in love that he will dry the seas for you if you say the word. Kaz takes your hands. They are warm on his skin and his heart swells.

“I am sorry, schatje.”

You kneel in front of him, leaning your elbows on his thighs to press a brief kiss on his lips. “Let's stay off business for a while.”

“Kaz?” A sound outside the door, followed by three raps. “Are you in there?”

“He is, Jesper. Give us a moment,” you reply.

You hear hushed whispers—both low voices, so you assume it's Wylan. Your suspicion is confirmed when the second voice sounds from behind the door.

“No, we—no, Jes—don't have anything urgent. We simply wanted to know if he is well. Take your time. We'll be going now.”

“Good night, Wylan,” you reply, immediately hearing fading footsteps soon after.

“Fifty kruge says they're already together,” says Jesper, out of your earshot.

Wylan rolls her eyes. “Fifty on them not dating yet.”

Jesper immediately clasps Wylan's hand with a loud “Deal!”

iii. the marketplace.

“Busybodies,” Kaz complained, walking a step behind you as you're treading through the Ketterdam food market. “They are not even hiding. In broad daylight. How have they never gotten caught before?”

“Kaz, my love.” You are trying not to laugh as you're picking and choosing fruits. “They usually do a better job on actual missions.”

They refer to your five lovely friends who have decided to tail you as you're coming down to the market. Kaz is the first to take notice—blurry figures moving erratically ten steps behind you.

“I should assign them something to do instead of... whatever it is they're currently doing.”

“They're curious.” You shrug, handing over a few slips of Kruge to the seller and leaving with your bag five apples heavier. “We've been acting suspicious lately. They'll find out soon enough.”

“I'll bet Inej finds out first.” Kaz nudges your fingers with his, taking the bag from you as he matches his step with yours. “The Wraith does a better job at spying.”

“My bet is Matthias.” An unlikely one. He's probably the least nosy out of the five.

Suddenly, you're pulled into a small nook, squuezed between buildings and he presses a kiss on your lips. One turns to two and you're smiling like a lovesick fool when he pulls away.

“We're being followed and you pull this?”

“Schatje, our pursuers are horrendously bad at this.” He shrugs, pulling away. You resume your trek through the market. “Look. They've lost us.”

iv. the marriage certificate.

“Fake IDs,” Kaz says, pointing at the towering Fjerdan. “You'll be collecting them from Anika.”

Matthias doesn't mind running errands, although he does think that he'll be better suited for physical fights other than fetching papers, but he doesn't argue. It seems he is doing more than simply fetching papers though.

“That is real?” He asks Anika, pointing at a marriage certificate she has on her desk. Marriage certificates are mundane enough not to warrant this type of reaction, but it is the name that shocks even him to the core. Kaz Brekker and you, married?

“As real as can be around here.” Anika scrambles to hide it away. “Here are your IDs. Don't tell anyone about it.”

In Matthias' defense, he doesn't end up telling just anyone. He tells Nina and Nina is the one telling everyone else. Within a week, every member of the Crows have known about it.

Wylan hands Jesper slips of fifty kruge, grumbling that this is unfair. Nina looks like spring has just arrived. Inej is probably the least reactive—but that is because she's already found out long before the others. She's the Wraith after all. Matthias is anxious. For all everyone knows, he is the one responsible for the news.

You strut into the dining room, seeing everyone gathered and raise an eyebrow.

“Why are you all here?”

“We want to ask—”

Before Nina can finish her sentence, Jesper blurts out. “You're married?”

You chuckle, shrugging. “You found out.”

“How long?”

“Kaz? Really?”

“How did that happen?”

A series of questions that you don't actually answer. You stand there, leaning on the back of one of the wooden chairs situated in the room—remorseless to your very core.

“Ask him about it.”

That ends the discussion. None of them will actually ask him about it and even if any of them actually finds the courage to, the likelihood of Kaz answering anything that's not a sarcastic remark or a threat is close to none.

“How did you find out anyway?”

Everyone points towards Matthias and to the Fjerdan's horror, Nina's pointer finger finds him, too.

You only smile, silently planning to brag to your spouse that you've won your bet.

[ ].

[quixoticprince]

Yayyy!! Yippee!! I finally get to make one of these!! Art without the text under the cut and some long-winded elaborations:

How long I've been playing: well, it hasn't been a straight 11 years, rather off and on - but I have drawings of these guys dating back to when I was 14, so I'll give it to me. And man I had no business reading the fanfics I was reading back then It's also crazy how this was a super influential media for me in so many ways. It's the reason I ever made a tumblr, it changed the direction of my drawings for a long while, my broken sense of humor (gmod animation memes and yt poops were the brainrot back then), tf2 Sniper changed my god damned gender (rather, it was the inspiration for me to start socially transitioning at 15). This is part of my personal lore that I tend to not admit to 😓

Your main: I've always been completely ass at the game, and I can play flexibly, but I enjoy playing Sniper, and more recently as Heavy. Whenever I'm sitting around somewhere, occasionally throwing sandwiches and attracting Medics, I feel like this:

Favorite character: When I was younger it was definitely Medic, and I think you can tell that he's still up there based on how much I've drawn him! However, since getting back into it, I've felt quite a shift in focus towards Heavy, very strongly. It's unfortunate that he's side-lined in a lot of fanwork, and I think I'm also complicit in this so far - but for me it's cuz, how tf2 works is that it's going to prioritize humor over character and consistency haha, and Medic is just so loud and insane that he's really easy to make fun stuff with. Heavy is a more serious and grounded character, not to say that he's not funny or that he doesn't have his own cartoon slapstick moments! But that aspect of him is what is really really intriguing to me. I love his quiet, stoic, and intimidating character, I like how loud and boisterous he is when filled with bloodlust in contrast! I love his bird story and him getting into wrestling as a child from Poker Night. I love his back story setting, there's so much to extrapolate from a young boy in Russia growing up during WWII, what his parents must have been through before that from the aftermaths of the revolution, all the way to his fathers execution and his imprisonment. I love his strong relationship with his family, his role as an older brother, as a protector, as a man - the way that he performs these roles - and because I personally see him as bisexual - how his orientation intersects with all that! He is incredibly fascinating to me and I wish that he was played around with more to see a lot more corners and angles of these things that I listed! There's way more that I want to say here too but this is getting very long 😅

Character I relate to: It's so interesting that a lot of the characters have very strong, tho maybe dysfunctional, families. Heavy, Demo, and Sniper in particular really speak to me in that relation. From Heavy being an eldest brother (I am also an eldest sibling) the parentification that comes with that, especially with him probably being like 10 years older than his sisters from the looks of it. Demo and Sniper both struggle living up to their parents expectations (although there's a lot of love there from everyone), being disappointments in one way or another (not gonna deep dive into that lol), and the general alienation both of them feel. From Sniper not knowing why he's not like other Australians to Demo being "a black Scottish cyclops." And well, I'm Filipino, I'm queer, and mentally ill so - there's a lot to project there!

Class you want to play as: I find Medic incredibly stressful to play as but I find the idea of battle medics incredibly funny. However I usually find myself rushing around madly trying to cater to everyone, and I'd like to just not give a shit and just start stabbing people with a saw lol

Favorite ship: "I just like the dynamic" - The dynamic:

No but fr, they're really compelling to me, I'd probably need a longer more thought out post as to what I like about them and I was already going crazy up there ^ Overall tho I like that they're practically built for each other in terms of mechanics, really plays into my desire to spiral into intense codependency haha. I also think that Medic's drive to cheat death and hide behind meat shields plays really well into Heavy's desire to be a meat shield and a protector, and how nice it is in turn, that Medic can grant this man who's been around death, starvation, and war invulnerability. (He outsmart boolet, yknow?) They're also depicted together a lot and I like how much they enjoy each others company, and bring a lot of joy to each other. It's beautiful to me :'^)

Character you like to draw: What can I say! Medic is handsome! He is very fun to draw and easy to make memes and shit posts out of!

[necrotic-nephilim]

@sasheneskywalker first off, thank you that is so sweet i am aaaaasdfghjk

second off, i actually meant to include BruCass in the OG post but i fucking *forgot* like a fool because i wrote this half asleep, then actually fell asleep, and just shrugged and posted it when i woke up. cannot believe i forgot my fave girl ever. anyway. BruCass thoughts.

BruCass is particularly fun because we *all* know the popular fanon that 'Cass is the favorite child' and 'Bruce is a girl dad'. and that is just. blatantly untrue and has no canon basis. (if you really truly want to believe Bruce has a consistent favorite that isn't just based on whatever Batkid is preferred by the current writer, the answer would be Dick, btw.) however, i will say this: Cass may not be Bruce's favorite child, but she *is* his favorite soldier.

Bruce adopting Cass was not some grand, fatherly gesture of love, it was his way of accepting her as Batgirl. to Bruce, vigilantism in Gotham is and should be a family business, the only Gotham heroes he tolerates/accepts are the ones he views as family or at least family friends. so adopting Cass isn't about their father/daughter dynamic (tbh i can't think of a single comic where she even calls him dad) it's about accepting her as Batgirl and deeming her worthy to carry on his legacy. because let's be so real: Bruce doesn't treat Cass all that great. he views her as a weapon and often dehumanizes her in her solo run. Bruce views Cass as the ultimate goal of what he wants Batman to be. she embodies The Mission™, she thinks like a weapon first, she values his morals more than *any* other Batkid. none of them have the drive and the dedication she has to the mantle. so on Cass' side, you have this hero worship, idolization of what Bruce has built, and on Bruce's side, you have a very high respect for the nature of what Cass is. but it's more interesting because Cass has directly said she's not loyal to Bruce, she's loyal to the Bat. Bruce has hurt her more than once viewing her only as a weapon when she wants to be more than that and when she's tried so hard for him. and that's the fun part about BruCass to me. she has given so much of herself to his Mission, to his Mantle, but she won't let him take everything. he loves her, but he doesn't see the human side of her as much as he should. it's angsty and Weird but there's still love and reliance on each other. she wants his tenderness, he wants her brutality. where they would meet in the middle and what fucked up relationship they would have? that's so crunchy.

If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???

i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3

Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.

Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.

And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.

[ladyloveroll]

(These are my ACTUAL notes from my friends birthday party full of people who absolutely did not know who the fuck Itachi and Kisame were or how pairing names work or what a ship is.)

Writing kisaita (on and off) for 15 years

Never get tired of the ship

Excellent, friendly people in the fandom to keep making content (Cynni)

Presentation is less about the specific ship and more about the general qualities that make their ship S-tier. You may find this echoed in your own OTP, IDK.

Powerful, badass characters who can kick anyones asses no problem, as depicted where they are casually taking a stroll after Kisame (who still has his little fo-hawk) casually takes down the four-tails

Kisame is noted as the ‘tail-less jinchuuriki’

Itachi is clearly a fucking powerhouse, we don’t need to debate that

Working with strong characters means you are more easily able to portray their weakness and explore that side of them since that rarely gets screentime

Auxiliary, not main characters

Main characters are harder to write because they spend a lot of screen time accomplishing their goal and doing Plot

Auxiliary characters are more malleable, and morally gray ones especially so

Depicted here are Itachi and Kisame, separately, being ordered by their villages to kill their own people. They carry this order out, but do not particularly like it. Nor are they particularly loyal to their own villages, despite carrying this order out. It’s hard to say where their loyalities lie.

The answer is WITH EACH OTHER OBVIOUSLY

Any ship that has a timeskip has LOADS of canon-verse material you can work with, especially if it feels like the characters have changed or their dynamic has changed.

For Naruto especially, WTF are Kisame and Itachi doing for three years? Clearly neither of them are out capturing jinchuriki. They aren’t seen lounging around Amegakure or Akatsuki headquarters. They are just traveling the world. Probably doing hits. Probably hitting on EACH OTHER WOOOOOO

Long time skips mean a few thing: 1) Canon divergence, 2) Canon compliant, 3) pre-time skip, 4) during time skip, 5) post time-skip; and that’s not even the AU’s

They clearly haven’t made any other friends during this time either so lots of relationship to explore

The Naruto franchise is notorious for retconning. Probably because Kishimoto (the writer) was pushed to create at a pace that was impossible for any sane or healthy man to keep up with.

Fanficition writers can take advantage of this poor writing by interpreting the character in a lot more ways than if the character was solidly written.

There are a lot of different ways Kisame is written, and accepted as so

Itachi less so but we don’t have time for that

Retconning allows you to take a writers mistake and turn it into utter brainrot that ten other people (me) will reblog every 3 years

This one is kind of specific, but if you like angst then OH BOY this ship has a lot of potential for it

Any OTP that involves an angsty edgelord and a sadistic tagalong can indulge in either EXTRA ANGST and be able to balance out the angst with humor

The KisaIta ship has 4 great themes about it:

Redemption

Acceptance

Forgiveness

And Existentialism of course

Dynamic:

Sharkboy / lava girl

Edgelord / goof

Leader / follower

Maybe old? / a touch too young

Respect for each other

S-tier OTP because of strong themes and repeatable dynamics

Kinkfest here we come

S-tier OTPs must be able to withstand an intense variety of smut writing

Powerful level = able to handle pain and dish out pain

Body things? = more positions

The Shape of Water was one of the single best thing to happen to the KisaIta 18+ fics because (even though it existed before the movie came out) a lot more readers were into it now

Also, Kisame makes this ship work more than Itachi. He is fucking DEVOTED

at this point I was running out of my 10-minutes (THEY HAD THE AUDACITY TO PUT ME ON A TIMER) so i just backfilled the rest of the presentation with fanart and memes i like

Why do I like KisaIta?

I mostly write smut

They’re great at smut

I also like angst

They’re always great for angst, either character

Also look at them they are hot AF

Beefcake service-top vs. ‘shaped like a katana’ masochist

Healthy dose of hurt-comfort

They’re extremely flexible to write and so there’s a lot of stories you can create

thank you for not reporting me to the powerpoint police

[prismatoxic]

okay, shipping brainrot from my last post aside, i'm still thinking about the shapeshifter arc. the other sites i use don't have inline posting or do but it's clunky, so i guess i'm theorizing here. some of this may seem obvious; bear with me, i'm not trying to be patronizing, just working through things. this will probably be long.

(edit: i've since learned there's canon explanations for all of this. regrettably i don't like them. enjoy my ideas of what would be better maybe? but keep in mind i wrote this before i knew it had been explained anywhere else.)

(edit again: i've done a 180 and come fully around on the canon explanations! i have a lot of thoughts about them but this isn't the post for that. anyway i'm disabling reblogs, sorry. you can still look at this if you want)

laios reveals what he knows of shapeshifters, and that they function on memory:

no one ever really suggests in chapters 39 or 40 who thought of which fake except in the case of which ones laios must have thought of, but i want to posit who i think each one came from, and what it means narratively if i'm right. so, mostly a thought experiment/character study that i could be wrong about or that was never meant to be clearly defined in the first place. but maybe fun to think about? (i'm sure other people have done this before too, but i think it'll be fun to write up.)

from the outset, i think it's worth mentioning that chilchuck knows all three laios fakes are, in fact, fakes. two chilchucks say this, but the one on the right is the real one. senshi and marcille immediately corroborate this, though we can't tell which of them it is except that it's not any of the really obvious fakes.

what i think this suggests is that, brought to the surface, the warped perceptions of the rest of the party that chilchuck, senshi, and marcille have can be easily discerned when compared with the real thing. each of these laioses is from one of them, but they immediately figure out none of them are right with the real laios right there in the room. this is important.

as for who's who...

i think it's fair to assume that giant laios is from chilchuck. laios is the tallest member of their party, at six feet; while chilchuck sees marcille and senshi as their correct heights, laios is a giant to him, and his bulky armor doesn't help. that's why, even if this is his perception, it's glaringly obvious that it's wrong as soon as it's made physical. it's the only big one, and easily falls into the camp of "doesn't seem to know much about monsters" that the others also do.

stupid laios is, i think, from marcille. because the giant one is so likely chilchuck's and i don't think senshi sees laios as someone who stupidly wants to eat everything (even if senshi's opinion of him isn't stellar right now, "i have to eat it" wouldn't be paired with being an idiot to senshi), it tracks that marcille would be the one to remember him this way. to someone who doesn't appreciate their monster eating and otherwise thinks he's an idiot just as much as the others do, dumbly muttering about eating things seems like a reasonable portrayal of laios.

feminine laios, then, is from senshi. i think his physical perception of the other party members is the most off-base; this is likely because he's known them for the least amount of time, and his idea of what they look like is based more on their races than anything else. i think the resemblance to falin might not be intentional--someone suggested to me the other day that the dwarf perception of tall-men is probably more feminine in contrast to how Macho dwarfs are. i think that makes sense (if it ever comes up canonically, i haven't seen it yet). laios and falin do just... look like gender-swapped versions of each other, also. so if senshi sees laios as a feminine person, well... that just winds up looking like falin.

so this leaves us with only the real laios. confronted with their perceptions of him, his friends can immediately tell all three are incorrect.

moving on, we eliminate the three most obvious fakes from the rest of the party, starting with marcille:

if we take into account what i just said about senshi, i think this is his. racial stereotypes about elves being what they are, him not knowing the party as well as the other members do... she stands out, and that's why.

now this is where things start to get interesting.

the next two fakes to be eliminated aren't so blatantly incorrect that they can be struck right out at a glance, but it's not hard to notice the flaws when you look closer, and chilchucks A and B are the ones to point it out. chilchuck is naturally observant; most of his fakes seem to emulate this. (the one who addresses the fakes is A, the real one, but B is proving himself able to pick up on the things A notices. this is important.)

notably, chilchuck and senshi assume these must be laios's versions of them.

we can assume this is correct, if we want to. we can take the framing of this as being an intentional reflection of the truth.

or... or... we can look a little deeper. we can wonder if, perhaps, this isn't a reflection of laios, but a reflection of his friends and what they think of him. laios may not immediately notice the problems, but i don't think it's because he doesn't remember these details. i don't think laios sees much of anything in vague terms; he's observant in his own right, but in ways he doesn't really recognize, nor does anyone else. i think he was so focused on their faces and mannerisms that he didn't notice the bigger picture, glossing over something because so many other factors are at play.

senshi and chilchuck think laios doesn't take notice of things, but the vast majority of the shapeshifter arc is about them and marcille not trusting laios's judgement as it is, given how things went recently. is it possible there's more to their assumptions here than what the text explicitly says? i think so!

so then who do these two belong to? marcille, i think.

if we assume dumb laios is hers, then we can also assume her perceptions of the others are kind of broad and vague. she doesn't think poorly of them, necessarily (at least not in as obvious a way as she does with laios, who, i'll remind you, she's currently upset with), but she doesn't commit unimportant details to memory, like chilchuck's neck band or the damage to senshi's helmet.

we've got three more "obvious" fakes to get through, and laios offers another lore tidbit on how the shapeshifters work:

anyway, the first of the next round is marcille again, setting the stage for how these three next fakes are eliminated.

marcille changes her hairstyle all the time, so this isn't a surprise. the last one pictured here winds up being our next fake, as indicated by her grimoire:

so the fake marcille in this section is the one with the most visibly different hair texture (who even draws attention to this), and the spellbook that's woefully incompetent. i think she's from chilchuck.

he's observant, as i said before; even if he didn't commit her hair to memory, he did remember the stuff she's said about how important hair is to magic. maybe that's why the texture is so striking. more importantly, chilchuck isn't wary of magic quite the way senshi is, but he also doesn't understand it. the general tone of the low-quality grimoire also just... sounds like the way he'd frame something like that. (plus, the "how to turn back time" bit is a thing he specifically called her on when she suggested it a few chapters ago.)

so the next fake chilchuck and senshi are revealed via their tools:

i think the chubby-cheeked chilchuck with the simple lockpicks is from senshi, and i think the ordinary-looking senshi with the simple cookware is from chilchuck. the former speaks for itself--senshi sees chilchuck as a child, and knows absolutely nothing about picking locks. as for the fake senshi, chilchuck has a decent mental image of him but knows nothing about cookware.

so now we're down to the final three fakes, and there's only one person left who they could be from: laios. nobody thinks this, not even laios himself, but i want to explore the concept because i think it has extreme merit. the three remaining fakes have some key similarities between them, namely in that they're all close enough interpretations that making a distinction is difficult. they look a tiny bit different, but both the real people and their fakes make plausible cases for why they're the actual person. i want to talk about why i think laios is the one who made that so, and what that means about him.

chapter 39 ends with all his companions--real and fake--doubting his skills. seeing a pattern?

chapter 40 opens with laios determined to regain his friends' trust in him...

...while his friends (and their fakes) talk about how he's liable to like the fakes more, because they're monsters.

this is a needlessly cruel interpretation of laios, but after how things went post-falin-rescue, it's not a surprise. they see him as reckless and single-minded, more interested in the things he's weird about than in the people around him.

laios is really bad at talking about what he's thinking--not because he's hiding it, but because it doesn't occur to him that it's important. meeting the lunatic magician in the paintings is a prime example of this, but he does it a lot. they likely have no idea why he told toshiro about falin and the black magic; to them, laios was being flippant with sensitive information, not worrying about their safety. to laios? he was trying to get help. he trusted toshiro, and his perception of their friendship made him think the information would help them gain an ally who cared about falin as much as they do. he wasn't trying to put falin or marcille in danger--far from it, in fact. but he didn't tell his friends about his thought process. he didn't think it was important to share.

(he's autistic but we all know this. moving on)

so, we have laios's plan: the pairs cook together, while he watches for behavioral differences to discern who's who. it doesn't occur to him, or anyone else, that the people he's watching for mistakes are his own perceptions of his friends. and now we get into the meat of why i wanted to write this post.

assuming i'm correct... let's talk about laios's view of his friends, and how he challenges those perceptions.

starting with my favorite, chilchuck:

chilchuck A, of course, is in fact the real one. this is a pretty significant character moment for him too, in my opinion; we know he has difficulty expressing his emotions, and that a lot of his conflicts so far have stemmed from that. the fact that "chilchuck B asked for help with a menial task" is a gotcha moment to him is... telling. not only because it's so obvious to him, but because it's not obvious to any of his companions. he thinks they know this about him, but he's never openly expressed anything to make them think this is an issue he'd have, in addition to having sought help in the past.

his "convictions and pride and all that" seems to them like someone trying to convince them of something, not someone reminding them of facts he assumes they know.

anyway, back to laios. if we accept that chilchuck B is made from his memories, this suggests several things. first of all, chilchuck B is, despite his softer eyes and willingness to ask for help, still a fairly accurate portrayal of chilchuck. he's easily annoyed and he's observant, two traits chilchuck is known for. i think the reason chilchuck B has the kinder eyes and the more gentle disposition is because to laios, those things are indicative of someone being a good person, and he very much thinks chilchuck is a good person.

we know laios isn't especially good at reading people in general. thus, his idea of who his friends are is skewed in broad strokes, but not in the ways they think. he knows who chilchuck is, but he also associates chilchuck with his own ideas of what makes someone "good", which results in a chilchuck who's less rough around the edges. confronted with this--the real chilchuck asking him if he can tell--laios compares the two and thinks, reasonably speaking, the nicer one who trusts him has to be the friend he respects so much.

senshi and marcille also want to accept this chilchuck, likely for similar reasons. they also respect and care for him; they've seen him go through a lot. laios's ideal of him is just that, ideal. in a roundabout way, it's only their deep fondness for who chilchuck really is that makes them want to see him this way.

next up, we have marcille.

the fake, marcille A, is a radical departure from what makes chilchuck B a fake. laios notes that the real marcille is exactly the same as she always is. the reason, then, that marcille A confuses him--and the others--is that after everything they've been through, their perception of her has changed radically.

if we look back to senshi and chilchuck's marcilles, it's readily apparent when they're eliminated that both interpretations hinge on the knowledge that she performs black magic. senshi's tries to use it to prove herself; chilchuck's has a grimoire loudly proclaiming it's what she does. contrast this to marcille A: she doesn't mention black magic at all, and her grimoire looks strikingly similar to the real one.

that's because laios doesn't think her performing black magic changes anything about who she is. her doing so proved her to be just as dedicated to falin as he himself is, and the knowledge that her goals involve it doesn't faze him. (additionally, marcille has been teaching him magic, and falin had tried in the past. though his image of a grimoire is flawed to someone experienced, to anyone else it looks fine.) thus, marcille A isn't a flagrant black magic wielder; she's someone who's been fundamentally changed by what they--and falin--went through.

let's go back to chapter 27:

chilchuck and senshi are appalled, and will continue to be. while they ultimately don't prevent marcille from doing this, and care enough about both her and laios (and in chilchuck's case, falin as well) to be in tentative support, this changes their view of her in a negative way. she's dangerous now, in a way she wasn't before, but she's still marcille--goofy and a little reckless. thus, their views of her, and the illusions that result.

laios's opinion of her changes for the better.

she is, all at once, both competent and loyally dedicated. she will stop at nothing to help falin. whatever goofiness she exhibited before now is gone, replaced by the cold demeanor of someone who is doing something extremely dangerous for reasons that are inherently selfish, but ultimately too important to reject.

thus, we return to marcille A: cold, sharp, dedicated. not reckless or goofy, but methodical and haunted. she may have returned to "normal" since they left the castle town, but laios's opinion of her, and understanding of her love for falin, has been forever changed.

so faced with the real marcille--still silly, still whining, still frequently annoyed with him--he's confused, because that's deeply familiar, but it doesn't line up with what he knows about her now.

the truth, of course, is nuanced--these things are true about marcille, but only under duress; it's similar to how laios becomes a competent leader when the going gets tough. she has this within her, but it's not her default state of being. still, the shapeshifter picks up on the strongest memories laios has of her, this new interpretation of someone he thought he knew.

now then--onto senshi, the punchline of this particular joke about the differences between the copies. i still think it says a lot.

i think this one speaks for itself, though i find chilchuck's agreement interesting. senshi is the newest member of the team; little is known about him. laios happily notes that senshi "always looks cool" while chilchuck says he looks normal (and chilchuck B insults the real one). laios sees senshi this way because he thinks senshi is cool as hell, and this manifests in an idealized version of a face he's not as familiar with as he is with chilchuck and marcille.

this is clearly comedy, but it also speaks to the same desire to see the best in the rest of the party. marcille is the only one who notices likely because her opinion of senshi isn't so romanticized. chilchuck's senshi, of note, wasn't a perfect replica: we don't see much of him after the obvious fakes are hauled off, but he's a little squashed (he's the top one):

which indicates that chilchuck's visual memory of senshi is already flawed. if we compare this to giant laios and the marcille with the unique hair texture, it tells us chilchuck's attention to detail is more specific than the others'; he can remember the hole in the helmet, the importance of hair, but he doesn't quite see the bigger picture. giant laios is also surprisingly... rugged? which i imagine has to do with chilchuck's perception of him as a tall-man. (or maybe how he clearly has trouble seeing laios's face half the time, lmao...)

anyway. laios thinks senshi is super cool and chilchuck has an imperfect idea of what senshi look like as it is. (i wonder if chilchuck is some degree of faceblind? not enough to not recognize someone at all, but can't pinpoint specifics.)

and so, we arrive at the moment of truth.

so let's go over what i'm theorizing here... all the remaining fakes are illusions based on how laios sees his friends. the illusions manage to make mistakes that reveal the truth to him, but i think the reason for that harkens back to what laios said earlier... the illusions are being updated over time.

laios isn't considering any of the things that give the fakes away until this moment. if it had taken a little longer to resolve things, maybe they'd have started course-correcting, but they aren't given the chance. laios makes sure they aren't--he acts very quickly. even as he presents the three pairs with his findings, he's aware that everything will fall apart as soon as he does... and he's banking on that. while the shapeshifter illusions defend themselves from being killed, he gets right to the heart of the matter in the only way he knows how: confronting the actual monster involved.

when all's said and done, laios reveals how he figured it out:

potentially of note, all of these details happened before the red dragon fight. chilchuck fighting a mimic and revealing his history with them, senshi gushing about the dungeon's ecosystem, and marcille being attacked by the undine weren't super recent memories. when laios brought them forth in his mind, he had a delay before the shapeshifter updated its illusions.

well... except with marcille. marcille A actually didn't show her hand so easily; it was the real marcille's carelessness that proved her identity.

but what this suggests is that, when confronted with the realities of marcille versus his idealized version of her, laios had to make a choice: did it make more sense for her to have been radically changed by the revival and subsequent loss of falin, or was the presence of a marcille he knew so well proof of an illusion? she was the one who was the most different, and as such, the contrast was the same one that eliminated all three laioses at the start: with the real thing in the room, the fake became apparent.

so, to reach a conclusion: one again, laios has proven he's not as scatterbrained as his companions think, but this time he did so on a more personal level than usual. to them, he reveals that he knows their quirks enough to define them by such when they're otherwise faced with convincing copies. to us, the readers, if we accept what i've suggested here... he's revealed a lot more. he respects, admires, and idolizes his friends, all out of fondness: he wants to see them in an ideal way, whatever that means for each of them as individuals.

anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk

[wardencallings]

Bellara x Taash romance banter because the brainrot is hitting

Taash: So you and Irelin used to be a thing?

Bellara: Um, yeah!

Taash: Why'd you break up?

Bellara: We just didn't work out, I guess. There's no hard feelings, though! But...I think Irelin feels a little guilty for breaking up with me.

Taash: She broke up with you?

Bellara: We were distant for a while before it happened. She's just the one who said we were over out loud.

Taash: Her loss.

Bellara: Oh! Um. Thanks!

---

Taash: Neve told me about your book.

Bellara: My book?

Taash: Your romance serial or whatever.

Bellara: Oh, what did she say about it?

Taash: That the main character's love interest reminded her of me.

Bellara: Uh, what a coincidence!

Taash: Right.

Taash: I hope they get the girl.

--

Bellara: Taash! I had a lot of fun last night.

Taash: Me too.

Bellara: I can't believe how much you know about dragons. I never realized how interesting they are! I could listen to you talk about them forever.

Bellara: And thanks for listening to me ramble about artifacts and wards. I know it can be pretty boring to people who don't really care about them.

Taash: I care about you. Nothing you say is boring.

Bellara: Thanks, Taash.

--

Taash: After this is all over, you should join the Lords of Fortune. We could use an expert like you on board.

Bellara: Are you sure they'd want me around? I don't know much about ships.

Taash: I want you around.

Bellara: Then I'll be there.

[changbunnies]

Misbehave (18+)

♡ Pairing: Boyfriend!Changbin x Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: smut, pre-established relationship

♡ Word Count: 4k

♡ Summary: Changbin is on tour and misses his pretty girlfriend back home- and what better way to tell her he misses her than to send her a naughty video? 

♡ Smut Warnings: sub!changbin, video recording, nipple play, masturbation, mommy kink (this is self indulgent okay), sex toys, phone sex, it is more than implied that bin has a degradation kink, petnames (baby, bunny, honey)

♡ Notes: so i saw this video of a guy in bunny pajamas jerking off and it gave me SUCH bad binnie brainrot i literally could not stop imagining him in cute pink bunny pajamas recording a video for his gf 😵‍💫😵‍💫 so yeah enjoy this purely self indulgent smut ! and i read a lot of mommy kink fic but this is my first time actually writing it so i'm not super confident its good but i hope it's at least decently enjoyable gfdgdf

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

“Baby! I’m wearing the pajamas you got me, you see?” Changbin smiles, bright and cute, just the way you like it as he looks into his phone's camera. The pajamas are a fluffy, pastel pink full body suit; warm, soft, cozy, with cute lopped bunny ears connected to the hood he has pulled up over his curly hair.

You got the pajamas for him because they reminded you of him, you said, and he positively beamed- because you were thinking of him, because you bought him something so adorable, because now he gets to show them off for you.

He didn’t get a chance to wear them before he was getting shipped off on the next plane out of the country, but of course he packed them with him. And now, on a break between shows where he could just relax and take a breath, he decided this was the best time to wear them.

But not just wear them– he had to show them to you! And sure, a few pictures would suffice, but isn’t this better? You can fully see how cute he looks in them this way, how the size you picked was just perfect, which he’s sure is because you know him inside and out. 

He takes the soft pink bunny ears connected to the hood in his hands and flops them around, smiling while tilting his head back and forth, playing up his cuteness for the maximum effect. “If you were here, you’d call me cute, right? Your cute baby bunny?”

Luckily for Changbin, he’s used to talking to a camera and displaying his cuteness, so recording a video like this for you comes to him naturally. And it’s lucky for you too, since that means your inbox is always full of new videos to get you through the drought until he comes back home.  

Changbin can just imagine how you'd dote on him if you could see him now; you'd kiss his cheeks and nose, you'd ruffle his messy hair, you'd overload him with compliments and sweet words until his face goes pink and dick twitches in his pants.

And really, he can't help that his body reacts to you this way– he just loves you so much, he lives for your compliments, and it's not his fault that the sweet, sometimes condescending way you speak them gets him all worked up. And while it's unfortunate he won't be able to get your initial reaction to his cute display in person, his imagination is more than enough fuel to keep him going. 

“There's more I want to show you, you ready?” Changbin says as he starts to scoot away from where he has his phone propped up to record himself. It’s set pretty precariously against the pillows, seemingly on the verge of toppeling at any second, but he doesn’t think about that– his only thought is putting on a show for you.

“It’s so soft– but you already know that, honey, you’re the one who picked it out,” he giggles a little to himself, giddy as he once again remembers it's a gift from you (exclamation point: you!), but he forces himself to stay on track before he gets too distracted.

“Since it’s so soft and comfy, I don’t need to wear anything underneath! See?” Changbin takes the zipper in his hand and he intends to pull it down slowly, but well.. he’s excited, and just can’t wait to show you how naked he is underneath the soft fluff of the pajamas you bought him. Sitting on his knees, he pulls the zipper down swiftly; and how quick he pulls it down causes it to get stuck for a moment, but he manages to keep it going smoothly after correcting its course.

If you were here, you’d definitely laugh at him for being so eager– you’d say something mean, but in that sweet, saccharine voice that’d instantly make his face flush pink and dick grow impossibly hard. You’d giggle at him for being pathetic, cock up your eyebrow and tilt your head to the side when he blushes, smirk when you see him twitch and throb and squirm after calling him a slut for always putting himself out on display for you.

The pajamas, big and loose as they are to comfortably fit all of Changbin’s muscle mass, completely hid his erection from view until the zipper was pulled all the way down. His chest, his cute tummy, his leaky cock– you can see it all now. But despite being exposed, he doesn’t take the pajamas off– he keeps the hood pulled up, doesn’t slip his arms out of the sleeves or take his legs out of the pants. He leaves them on for one main reason– because he feels cute in them, and wants you to think he's cute too. 

“When I put them on I started thinking of you,” he says as he shifts into a more comfortable position off of his knees. There’s nothing to prop himself up against at the foot of the bed, so he has to just lean to one side and support himself with a single arm; not ideal, but the headboard has the very important task of keeping his phone upright (with the support of the pillows) and he will not be shifting anything around or starting over.

“A-And I get so hard whenever I think about you because you’re just so– mommy’s so pretty,” he says as his fingers ghost over his muscular chest, tracing the skin before he brushes his thumb over his nipple– the same way you would do it if you were here right now. It’s now that a blush finally rises on his cheeks; and it’s not that he’s embarrassed by doing it infront of a camera or from the image of himself tweaking his nipples reflected back at him, that part doesn’t matter– it’s because he’s sensitive.

His sensitivity to touch, whether yours or his own, is always enough to make his face burn, as it’s always a source of your teasing touches and words. You’ll pinch his sensitive nipples between your fingers while whispering filthy, playful words in his red-tinted ears, softly laughing when he squirms and whines.

“I miss you,” he speaks to the camera, biting his lip when he rolls his nipple between his thick fingers, trying not to become too whiny right from the start. Changbin is sure you’d like it if he was whiny right away, but he has to focus!

He knows there’s major appeal in him becoming restless and needy quickly, and he has already shown how eager he is by hastily fumbling with his zipper, but still– he wants this video to last longer than a measly 5 minutes. It takes you longer to cum than him, and he needs to provide a video long enough for you to play with yourself to without having to loop it– that’s his thought process, anyways.

He averts his gaze from his phone setup, opting to look down at himself as he reaches over his chest to give his other nipple equal treatment. "I miss–" he starts to elaborate, but stumbles on his words after giving his nipple a particularly harsh tug.

Shit– he has to move on if he wants to stay coherent enough to make a good video for you. Becoming unable to speak in the last few minutes is acceptable, but now, when he's barely even started? No, he has to do better! So he trails his hand downwards, away from his chest and over his soft stomach as he tries again to let out what he wants to tell you.  

“I miss your smile, and– m-miss your kisses, your perfume, your hugs, your–” It’s a habit of Changbin’s to babble in these situations thanks to your influence on him. You like to get him talking when he’s like this– hearing him shyly babble away all the things he thinks you want to hear is easily one of your favorite things about fucking him.

And he obviously knows this, which is why he’s freely speaking every little thing that comes to his mind, knowing that you’ll like it (even if watching it back later will make him feel incredibly embarrassed.) Changbin isn’t shy about many things, but you always effortlessly bring his bashful side out. 

It’s another one of your favorite things, he knows– reducing your otherwise confident and unashamed boyfriend into an overly talkative, shy mess while his body takes on varying shades of pink and red. So he does his best to bring himself to that place without your presence, to picture you there in front of him encouraging him to go on, to pretend his hand is yours instead.

His string of words is broken by a harsh, shuddery breath when his hand finally reaches his cock. Changbin licks his drying lips and looks back at himself in the camera as he takes his length into his hand, stroking it as slowly as he can stand to.

It's more of a struggle than he'd like to admit– this is the first day he's had enough freetime to touch himself since leaving weeks ago, and his sensitivity, paired with the knowledge that he's recording for you and that you'll see all of this when you wake up in a couple of hours is causing his need to grow at an exponentially faster rate than he was prepared for.

He lets out a hiss when he rubs his thumb over the tip, and he has to make a conscious effort not to squirm or jolt his hips up into his hand too abruptly (both for his own sake, and his phone that isn't entirely stable in its placement.) Changbin's bottom lip quickly grows swollen and red from how frequently he bites at it in a vain effort to contain himself, and while it's more than mildly embarrassing to have such little control over his own body and voice, he knows you'll enjoy watching his failed efforts.

Changbin forces eye contact with the view of himself in his phone, wanting to ensure that it feels like he's looking at you when you inevitably watch it. He observes every detail, does his best to take note of what it is you'll be seeing; he watches the rise and fall of his own chest, how his stomach clenches, how his ever so slightly exposed thighs tense and twitch.

You'll like this, right? Will think he's as sexy as he is cute? Will love it so much that you'll rub yourself over your dampening panties, that you'll reward him with a flood of sweet messages to wake up to when its morning for him?

"D-Do I look good like this, mama?" he asks the camera as he speeds up the motion of his hand, "Yes, right? I do? You love this, love me?" He briefly allows his eyes to close, imagining that you're there to answer his desperate questions.

'You look perfect, Binnie, you're amazing, such a good boy for me, I love you.' He can really hear you if he concentrates on the thought, as if you're just in front of him and not thousands of miles away peacefully asleep in bed.

Opening his eyes, Changbin remembers the bunny pajamas aren't the only thing he brought with him that he wanted to show you– he still has another surprise in store that he hopes you'll like to see. Letting go of his cock, he brings himself back to his knees and reaches for something just out of view of the camera– his fleshlight.

His phone tilts from the shift in the weight, and Changbin is quick to catch it before it completely topples over. He offers the camera a shy, somewhat awkward giggle as he puts his phone back in place, making an effort to secure it better this time in the hopes that it won't jostle too much from what he plans to do next. 

And in trying to get his toy ready quickly, he pours practically his entire travel-sized bottle of lube into it. A waste for sure, but he can always buy more later– getting the show back on track is more important.

Changbin is leaned forward now, face as close to the camera as it was when he was playing with the ears attached to the hood. His face being close again doesn't obscure the view of his body at all though, thanks to the fact that he's leaning at an angle, with one palm flat on the bed to support his weight while the other holds the fleshlight where he wants it.

He's a bit nervous for this part, if he's being honest– maintaining eye contact with himself while he fucks his toy is something he's never done before. But he wants to do it for you, so you have the best experience possible when he sends the video to you!

Other than briefly looking away to line himself up with the toy in his hand, he looks into the camera the entire time– as he slides inside, as he gasps and moans, as he rolls his hips over and over and over. He wonders if you’ve noticed it was gone; did you open up your shared drawer, pull out the bag containing all your fun little toys to have some fun with yourself, noticing in an instant that he took his own toys with him?

He imagines you did– that you pulled it out, intending to rummage for one of your vibrators and clearly saw it missing. You'd smile when you realized, he thinks, as there's only one reason to take such a thing with him. And you'd think of him the same way he always thinks of you, imagine him there next to you, close your eyes and pretend you're teasing him by making him watch you use a vibrator, not letting him touch you unless he's a good boy and keeps his hands to himself until you cum.

Changbin is always a good boy, even in his imaginary scenarios– he'd never, never do anything against what you tell him. Even when he imagines you touching yourself, when he thinks about what scenarios you'd picture in your mind to get off, he's a good boy who does whatever he's told, watching and waiting patiently for his time to touch you.

The ears on the hood still pulled over his fluffy hair bounce with each movement he makes, and finally he breaks eye contact with his phone, his head falling forward and eyes squeezing shut as his whimpers and moans grow in volume. "F-Feels so good baby, mom-mommy, mama, Binnie feels so– so good," he whines, biting his lip once more as he lifts his head to look at the camera again.

If he wasn't already so far gone, he'd feel bad for his neighbor on the other side of the hotel wall; he knows he's getting loud, but he can't help it. He's fucking his toy, head full of you– of what you'd say to him, how you'd sound with your vibrator pressed to your clit, how you'd expertly time your release with his, how you'd look at him when you cum together.

With his eyes squeezed shut, he can perfectly conjure the image of you in his head, vivid and almost real enough to trick his brain into believing you’re together right now.The way you smile at him always rattles his senses, pretty to an almost ethereal degree, sharply contrasting the dirty words you confidently, unashamedly tell him.

And while your voice rings clearly in his head, it’s not really you– it’s just the memory of you; vivid, clear, but not as real as he wants it to be. His imagination helps but it’s still nothing compared to if you were really talking to him, if he could see you when he opens his eyes, if he could reach out and touch you or smell your perfume mixed with arousal.

Changbin just wants you, he misses you so fucking bad. It’s the early hours of the morning where you are, and you’re likely still asleep, but he has to call you, has to hear your voice. He obviously intended to cum on camera for you, and he’ll definitely feel bad about waking you up when he’s back in his right mind, but all he can think about right now is how much he craves you.

He reaches for his phone, hastily ending the recording and pulling up your contact, pressing the call button before he can even think to stop himself. The phone rings for so unbearably long that Changbin expects to hear your voicemail message, but to his surprised relief, you answer; a soft, deep and groggy “hello?” from the other end of the line.

“Mommy–” he whines upon hearing your voice, his desperation clear through the speaker pressed to your ear. As if the needy whine wasn't enough of a tell to what he's doing, you can hear the slick, sloppy sounds of what you can only assume to be either his lubed up hand or one of his toys beneath his panting breaths and whimpery moans.

"Binnie," you start, a playful tone emerging in your voice, the haze of sleep melting away in record time in response to hearing your sweet boy playing with himself, "are you being naughty?"

He nods quickly before he remembers you can't even see him right now, and he needs to provide a verbal answer. "Y-Yeah, I– I was m-making a video for you but I need– need you so bad right now," he answers, his entire body shuddering when he hears you sweetly laugh in response.

"You always make me videos, though," you muse with a smile as you shift in bed, "but I'm guessing this is a naughty video, huh? Is that right, sweet boy?" Changbin whines when you call him that, but quickly affirms the statement with a timid 'yes.'

You hum as your smile grows, settling comfortably on your back as you continue to talk to him. "So, what happened? Got so needy while making your slutty little video for me that you couldn't even finish it properly? Had to call mommy and wake her up just so you could finish getting off, is that it?"

He lets out another whine– louder this time, and beneath it another sound becomes obvious to your ears; whatever hotel bed he's on is beginning to creak. It tells you something important– that's he's not just laying on his back and stroking himself, but that he's deliberately fucking whatever it is he's using. And given the growing volume and rapid rate of the creaking, you imagine he's rutting into it pretty desperately.

Oh, what a sight he must be right now– it's a shame he's not recording anymore, because his debauched desperation would reflect beautifully on camera, a perfect image for only your eyes to see. "Are your eyes closed, bunny? Are you imagining me there?" you suddenly ask him and again he answers with an affirmative, albeit timid, whine.

Good, you think– you know exactly what to do with this information; a little bit of roleplay is just the thing your sweet boy needs. "How's my pussy feel, baby? Is it good?" you ask, having to bite your lip to suppress a delighted laugh when he gasps and whimpers.

The fact that you're playing into his ongoing mental fantasies and pretending he's fucking you is driving him impossibly close to the edge. "S-So good, mama!" he manages to stutter out, and you can tell his rutting has grown more sporadic, the creaking of the bed far less successive and rhythmic as it was when you first noticed it.

“So wet, always so wet–” he continues, cutting himself off with a particularly loud whimper. In true ‘good boy’ fashion, Changbin intended to babble away all his thoughts and the things he knew you’d want to hear him say, but he has himself so high strung and taut that all he can do now is spill noise after noise from his harshly bitten lips.

He wishes he wasn’t so close, if only so you could hear your voice for a little longer, but he can’t delay it much more than he already has. And the poor boy, he tries to ask for permission, or at least warn you it’s coming, but all that comes out are broken syllables between all his panting and crying.

It’s obvious he’s close without him even having to say it, and while your bunny appreciates a mean streak when it comes from you, you can tell he needs this– and you’re not going to punish him for struggling to ask for permission. Instead, you’ll sweetly encourage him along; because another thing about Changbin is that he hates being bad, even when it’s by accident.

“Gonna fill me up, sweet boy? Fill mommy’s pussy with your cum?” you ask, ensuring he knows it’s more than okay, that you want him to cum for you. Changbin’s eyes roll back the instant the words leave your mouth, his cum spurting into the toy as a string of broken cries leave him in quick succession.

He collapses to the bed with exhaustion when he’s finally done, his chest heaving as he tries to calm his racing heart and get his breathing back under control. He’s impossibly hot, from equal parts the pajamas and how worked up he got, his face red hot and his hair clinging to his forehead with sweat, eyes still closed while his brain tries to reboot itself and get back to normal function.

“Shit–” he suddenly scrambles back up, pressing the phone back up to his ear, “I’m so sorry, you were sleeping, it’s still early there and I called you anyways, oh my god–” Your giggle cuts off his string of apologies, and while he’s still impossibly sorry for waking you up just because he was horny, he is relieved you’re not mad at him.

“It’s okay Bin, it was better than waking up to my alarm clock, that’s for sure,” you muse with a smile; could you have gotten an extra hour or two of sleep? Of course. But is this better? Absolutely.

“I love you, you know that? I love you so fucking much,” Changbin says and you giggle again before you reply. “I love you too, so don’t forget to send me that video! And clean yourself up, bunny, I know you’re a mess right now. I’ll stay on the phone with you, okay?”

“Yeah? You will?” he smiles as he complies, carefully rising from the bed to get himself and his toy clean. “Mhm, it’s starting to get late for you, right? I’ll stay until you sleep,” you tell him, and oh, does that make him ecstatic.

He sends you the video before he forgets, and you talk about mundane things while he takes care of all the tasks he needs to get done to sleep. You’re talking about little things like what you plan to eat for breakfast, what you have to do at work today, what friends you’re going to meet for lunch– and Changbin soaks it all up happily, sighing contentedly as he lies back in his hotel bed, curled up with your soft voice to lull him comfortably to sleep.

You don’t stop talking until you hear his soft snores and measured breaths, whispering to him a ‘good night’ and ‘I love you’ that he can no longer hear, but you have to say regardless. 

Ending the call, you still have an hour left before you have to start your day in earnest, with a video in your inbox from your sweet boy just waiting to be watched and played to. You smile as you set your laptop at the foot of the bed and click open his video along with your camera, rays of sunshine just beginning to illuminate your room through the curtains, setting a beautiful backdrop as you set yourself up to return your sweet boyfriend’s favor.

[waitmyturtles]

I've Caught Up With Wandee Goodday, and here are some cons and pros (aka, am I ever burnt out on GMMTV)

HELLO. I'm back temporarily from my summer travels (before I travel again!). I was in Thailand! I should have brought a box of chappals to chuck at the GMMTV building for where Wandee Goodday has gone. Anyway, I need to process my thoughts on this show, so here we go. (And I apologize, I have NOT looked at the tag for this show, so I don't know if I'm repeating what other people are saying here.)

PROS

CONS

1) This show had so much brainrot potential! Remember the first, like, four episodes? Potential homophobia in multiple workplaces? Delicious bisexuality? Ace storylines??? Wandee's PUTZ deception and manipulation? Yak going along with it, why?? There was a lot going on here, a lot we could have chewed on.

I've been sitting on my historical review of Golf Tanwarin's The Eclipse for my Old GMMTV Challenge for about two months now because I can't get over how pissed I was that that show took some unnecessary, and frankly insensible, turns in part to showcase the damn center ship of First and Khao. I don't think Golf's WG has taken similar turns specifically to center the GreatInn ship, per se -- I just think the writing got messy and lazy right before WG's midpoint in general, and punched a lot of the excitement I had about the show right before I paused around episode 8.

Wandee Goodday is an EXCELLENT example of how Thailand's hourlong QL dramas could be made INCREDIBLY more impactful, by way of forced editing and clarity, if Thailand could follow Japan's suit by making 10- to 12-episode series with 30-minute episodes.

The Dr. Ter storyline was over before it actually, really ended, in, what episode was that, 9 or 10. It was over! Why drag it out? In Japan, that storyline would have been two episodes, mayyybe three, MAX. Shirasu Jin was barely in Kieta Hatsukoi for an episode before he was banished. Takeda Kouhei barely made it through two episodes of Minato's Laundromat 2 before he went bye bye! We don't need these middling dudes. There was enough happening with Dee and Yak to not need this Ter shit! Sorry, LOVE YOU PODD, but Ter was made irrelevant so early on, and then they actually had to work together on a huge case?! And NOW HE'S CHEESING ON TAEM? Like, no. We don't need this.

2) There's still a lot of confusion and conflict between Dee and Yak by last week's episode 11. Dee's got issues receiving love! This is big.

(By the way. Showing Dee ONE video of his parents cheesing on him as a newborn is NOT THE WAY to explain away future parental neglect as an older child. YIKES.)

I love that Yak wants to invest in Dee, and we do see Dee doing a lot of reciprocating there to Yak, but this parental neglect reveal, along with still not knowing enough about the back story of Dee's parents dying, is out of order and not helpful to me getting enough knowledge about Dee for me to feel a holistic sympathy towards him. This makes me wonder if romance is really Golf Tanwarin's bag: if Golf didn't have to focus so much on the DeeYak/YakDee romance, could we have gotten better emotional representations of these guys, gotten a better picture of WHO THEY ARE, before they got into each other? Maybe? I dunno.

3) Considering that homophobia in systems seems to be a theme that Golf is interested in, why did the show drop Yak's concern about being out vis à vis his boxing career? Showing up at the hospital early on, in front of Ter's people, was already a big risk that wasn't given consideration; and now Dee's gone ahead and put the big pre-match smooch on full display by episode 11! I know Yak's gone full tilt for Dee, but I think we needed to put a bow on Yak's early macro-level concerns about being out for that loop to be closed.

[I feel like I have similar concerns here about 23.5 as well, so I'd like GMMTV to know (REMEMBER BAD BUDDY????) that you can have romance and big social commentary in a show at the same time without sacrificing lovely, intimate moments. Neither 23.5 nor Wandee Goodday needed to scrap heavy emotional moments for social media memeable clickbait.]

TL;DR this show, this script, could have been so good, there was so much there by way of storylines.

ANY FUCKING WAY.

PROS

1)

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS SHOW WENT HERE WITH THOR. THIS IS DISSONANCE, THIS IS CONFUSING! THIS IS MAGNIFICENT.

And the follow-up scene with the FABULOUS Fluke Nattanon. Fucking Thor. He's so good. They're so wasted in this show!

2) Great Sapol and Inn Sarin. There's a con here: the elephant pants do nothing for Great's butt. But otherwise, Great, and Inn as well, are DELIGHTS. THEY ARE GOOD ACTORS. They are wasted on this script. I hope they never work together on a GMMTV show again. If they're ever paired again (which I hope they're NOT, down with the ships), I hope they can get cast in a big ol' queer lakorn, à la JamFilm, and escape the need for the meme moments.

The thing is, about Wandee Goodday, is that if you admit you're into the show FOR THE DUDES, then I get why this show is watchable (AND IT'S WHY I'M FINISHING IT, GODDAMNIT), because the actual intimate moments ARE lovely. They're just not coherent with everything that we should know about these guys by the end of a series, and that makes me sad.

Anyway, this show ends this week, and that's it! I wish GMMTV's shop had had the WG items in stock when I was there in person; fuck these shipping fees, I want the Phadetseuk shirt so bad! If I had known this would be a kind of light and fluffy watch, I would have set my expectations WAAAYYY differently, and I would have likely had a better time watching this. As it stands now, I'm better suited to enjoy the finale, so I'm glad I got these complaints out of my system, and I'll say sayonara to all these dudes in full ogle mode later this week.

[diogxnxs]

I dare you!

Top 10 Donald Duck Pairings!

The people deserve to know! >:3

Okay, I'll be answering this but I'm limiting the ships to two person ships because I have my own set of Poly ships and we're just gonna have repeat characters on the list. The number 1 spot is easy: DonZe or (Donald Duck x Jose Carioca)

Number 2: DonMick (Donald Duck x Mickey Mouse)

Number 3: DonChito (Donald Duck x Panchito Pistoles)

Number 4: DonReg (Donald Duck x Reginella)

Number 5: DonGlad (Donald Duck x Gladstone)

Number 6: DUno/DonOdin (Donald Duck x Uno/Odin)

Number 7: Single Parents / DonRaider (Donald Duck x Red Raider)

Number 8: DonGlom (Donald Duck x Flintheart Glomgold)

Number 9: DonGoof (Donald Duck x Goofy Goof)

Number 10: DonMIn (Donald Duck x Minnie Mouse)

Honorable Mentions:

DonRo (Donald Duck x Gyro) RockaDon (Donald x Rockhead Rooster) DonMad (Donald Duck x Mad Ducktor) Donthan (Donald x Gorthan) DonXad (Donald x Xadhoom) DonKay (Donald x Agent Kay K) Donsy (Donald x Daisy SPECIFICALLY their dynamic from the MIckey Mouse shorts) I would say that I think doing a top 10 doesn't justify how much I like these ships only because I brainrot for them at certain times and would do several pieces. Like the gap between Top 1 and Top 2 for example are almost non-existent and they can easily share a spot. I also REALLY love DonRo but I also love a lot of other ships so it's sad seeing it not even having a top 10 when I've drawn quite a bit of it. If it's anything I need to draw some DonReg and DonMin.

[katkat030]

Hermitcraft/Life Series Fic Recs!!!

I am absolutely insane about so many of these and I genuinely can't recommend them enough. Like the post that inspired this, I'll probably tag authors if I know their Tumblr urls, but please let me know if you want me to remove any and I will!

Fair warning that most of these have shipping!

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But oh, the bloom by @sillyfairygarden (read here) ongoing.

Ough. Whimsy, Pearlescentmoon, the best version of desertduo I've ever read, and indecipherable sounds of me screaming. If there's one fic I ever want people to read, it's this one. There's a reason I'm putting this first, as much as I hate to pick favourites! Warning: you may will fall in love with the story. Possibly my favourite author - cannot recommend their works enough <3 (The Champion's Banquet also made me go not just a little insane)

It's an absolute necessity to highlight the tags on this one: blows a kiss to the sky. for all my pearliemoon lovers searching for wonder and whimsy in the world around you // Now with more angst! // a man leaves the life he loved to explore the beauty of the world

More fic recs under the cut!

you came at the brink of the end of the world by Anonymous/ @louiessleeplessnights (read here) ongoing.

I don't know how to even begin describing this. I think it made me fall in love with Boatem all over again. It's hilarious, sad, beautiful, Scar calls Grian trouble, they're both idiots and in love, and it's everything I'd look for in a published novel and so much more. This fic permanently altered my brain chemistry and I cannot recommend it enough times. SO SO SO well written. Warning: it's rated explicit, but a few updates ago it was just mature - chapter 20 and the first half of chapter 21 are the ones you might want to skip if that's not your jam! It's just kissing but it gets... a bit heated lmao.

An excerpt from the description:

[grian is falling from the sky, scar has more magic in his blood than he realized, and everyone else is so much better at seeing than they are]

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Redstone and Skulk by @silverskye13 (read here) ongoing.

Once again lost on how to describe this. Could I leave it at "please please please please read it I love it so much", by any chance? The worldbuilding is so fleshed out, probably my favourite example of characterisation I've ever seen and the descriptions are everything.

Helsknight and Tanguish (the hels version of Tango) are the duo ever. There's no shipping in this, just intense platonic bonds and lifetime devotion featuring a cranky knight and a pathetic wet cat. I love them so much.

Excerpt from the description:

Tanguish is Tango's hels, and they get along a lot better than most hels and their hermits should. Unfortunately, the universe wasn't made to house both of them. Helsmets were made to return to their hermits eventually, making a complete person. Except what happens when the hels is the stronger of the two? What happens if they really don't want to be?

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there are many downsides to being a marine biologist by donnerstag/ @martynsimp69 (read here) complete.

Unashamed to say I binge read this in exactly two days; 26 chapters, an epilogue, accompanying mermay oneshot collection (read here) and nearly crying later, I'm here to say you should totally check it out too. Because fis 🐠 and mermaid Martyn Warning: some unethical experimentation, and I think there's mention of alcohol.

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Hot Tea by @tunastime (read here) complete.

The Ethubs fic ever (and the first one I ever read!) This is what introduced me to *gesturing vaguely* whatever the heck they have going on, and I haven't been the same since. Warning: brainrot.

I'm once again stealing something from the description since tumblr oh-so-helpfully destroyed half my draft:

“Let me over,” Bdubs says again, and as he sees Etho open his mouth in protest yet again, he lurches forward, stuttering out his words. He nearly knocks the tea out of his own hands. “Just—just for tonight. Just tonight.” Etho knows he has to divide the base between them. It's the only way to settle, now, knowing everything between them. How Bdubs shouldn't be there. Etho builds the fence. Etho divides them. And Etho divides himself in the process.

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Between Us, We Have An Ocean by inkachu (read here) complete.

Only recommending this because it made me cry, and it's so well written. No shipping, just a foster care au in which Gem and Etho are... siblings. That doesn't even begin to cover how much the story really gripped me. It's soft, it's sweet, it's sad, it's amazing. Warning: I haven't cried while reading a book in probably a decade, and this is the one exception. Not to worry, I promise it won't hurt too much (saying how it ends would be a spoiler, but I promise the ending won't haunt you forever).

It's so gooood.

An excerpt from the description:

“My mum couldn’t take care of me, so she gave me to Canada.” Gem announced cheerily, swapping her red pencil for a yellow one, drawing what could only be a sun in the top corner of her page. “Then Canada found me a new mum.” Etho clicked his tongue. “Right.” “What about your mum?” “She uh, Couldn’t take care of me either. So I go to other people’s houses and they take care of me for her.”

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From the Archives by @sixteenth-days (read here) complete.

there's also an extra bunch of character studies/AUs/very cool bonus stories called From the Archives: Marginalia (read here) complete (?)

riverbed and mouse hole/black hole from Marginalia are my personal favourites. Playing around with like the physical structure of a text that way is super inspirational. I have all of the main fics downloaded to reread offline whenever I'm travelling/away from home! There's no need to know anything about The Magnus Archives to understand - personally I'd never heard of it before reading this. Also no shipping in the main fic :)

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lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) by @definitelynotshouting (read here) (author's explanation of the premise here) ongoing.

Warning: I'll give the warning for this one straight up, there are heavy themes like suicide and depression - Grian is going through it! If you're going to read it at least heed the ao3 tags :)

I'm stealing an excerpt from the fic to explain this one:

This hunger is a low rumble deep at the core of him, steady in the same way one might test a newly healed bone. The kind of fragile after a respawn, when your skin has knit together but the echo of pain still lingers. It doesn't hold him hostage anymore– he can muster the strength to look past it, and that, out of everything that's happened to him over the past year, is what's most frightening.

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Time to Kill Today by RimeThyme/ @going-to-the-sun (read here)

Featuring THE Ethubs song ever, some cool references to Mindcrack, and a really ineresting take on their relationship over the years. <33 read it, you won't regret it!

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Laugh rule - list of titles that made me laugh, mainly oneshots

THE DIVORCE OF THE CENTURY by glossyblue/ @good-chimes (read here)

The Government Institute for Ghost Supervision (G.I.G.S.) by glossyblue (read here)

The Rules of Buttercup Camp by glossyblue (read here)

Dead Heat by glossyblue (read here)

Interlude from Another Reality: Married Life by sixteenthdays (read here)

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Okay 2 more fic recs and I'm done, I promise xD

You Could've Applied Online by Anonymous (read here)

Actually hilarious and such fun to read! Stealing something from the description again:

Bdubs stuttered over his words, hand holding the knife tensing around the handle as he looked around the room. Was he being pranked? Did Scar do this? He couldn’t think of another conversation that had confused him more than this. Etho’s eyes crinkled around the edges, mouth subtly changing into what Bdubs imagined was a smile as he felt irritation creep into his mind. “You’re joking right now.” Another shift under the mask. He was definitely smiling now. “How’d you guess?” Or: Bdubs kills someone (on purpose), makes people angry (NOT on purpose), and somehow gets a boyfriend in the process. Or was he a bodyguard? Bdubs doesn't really know himself. Oh, and Etho just wants to pay his rent on time. Preferably without another dead roommate.

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Spring Blossoms by Fire_Cat (read here)

Ethubs, Stardew Valley-esque. Super fun read, highly recommend :D

Stealing from the description once more:

Burnt out and exhausted with city life, Etho packs up and moves to the old abandoned farm his parents owned before he was born. It's sat empty for thirty years and it's not in a good state, but he's determined to make the most of it. The town is full of good people, and he quickly finds friendship in abundance. Amongst them all though, one stands out. Bdubs is kind and funny and exceptionally talented at a number of things. He's handsome too, and Etho can't help but crush on him, just a little bit. They get along fantastically right from day one, but Etho keeps his feelings to himself. It's just a crush, it'll go away. And besides, it's not like Bdubs would ever like him back... Right?'

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If you end up reading and enjoying any of these, PLEASE go and give the authors some love in the comments! Writing really isn't an easy feat (or quick)

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 60

Wow we really made it 60 days huh?

Okay so i’m not gonna yap long for this part. You saw the image, you see the read under. This is a small comic adaptation of @vanadisvalentine’s “Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed” fanfic. And it adapts the end of Chapter 4 which is pretty fuckin pivotal in that story. So if you haven’t read that fic yet I’m actually begging you, please read it and don’t let this comic be your first experience.

Second warning, this is going to be a long one. How long? Who knows. I haven’t written it yet, but this Day represents one of the biggest turning points in the whole project for me. 

When you click the read under you’re gonna get just the comic, and then you're gonna get hit with a gigantic fucking wall of text. I apologize in advance for the amount of rambling I’m about to do but I got a lot to say here.

Okay so you read the comic, you ready? Cause not only am I gonna yap about making that comic along with all the behind the scenes stuff, (amidst other tangents), but I’m also going to talk about the fic this is based on. This is probably going to feel a bit disorganized but i’ll try my best to keep this legible. Apologies in advance.

So your first thought is probably “Jem why the fuck did you do that?” and you’re correct for thinking that way. Rest assured, you’re going to ask that question again later but significantly louder and more exasperated in the future. 

Answer is simple though. I wanted to do something big for Number 60, cause every 10 images I wanna do something Big. For Number 50 I came out of retirement and wrote a fanfic and some art to go with it. So I wanted to go up. How do i go up? Well I am a comic artist, and making a webcomic is my general goal in life and what directs me forward. Sooo, why not a comic?

Okay but a comic of what? Well, why not a fanfic? And at the time the real answer was obvious.

There are Three Fanfics made for Junkan that are pivotal to this entire event. Without all three of them combined ya’ll would not be having Junkan art pop up in your feed every day, questioning what the hell is in my bloodstream to make me draw all this. The answer is Junkan, junkan is in my bloodstream.

I plan to talk about all three of those fics in this event, in as much detail as I can muster. That said not only are we going in reverse order, as todays fic “Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed” is the last piece of the puzzle for why I went off the deep end and drew this much Junkan. But also the other two fics aren’t gonna be discussed for a long time due to their placement in the event order. I’m talking within the last ten days. Oops.

But at the time it was, pretty fucking easy to choose this one to adapt. The other two either wouldn’t really fit my style that I had been working with up to that point, or were just not made to be a comic without way more energy.

And as a reminder this was before I had actually gotten to know some of ya’ll. Within the realm of Junkan Val was the only friend I had. I did have other people who liked DR and were on board with Junkan after I showed them my supply and stated my case, but Val was the only person I knew at the time who was as brainrotted for this ship as I am, granted I think she has like, a normal amount of brainrot. I think by the end of the project I’ve fully snapped and now I can’t stop thinking about these two, like I have actually tried to stop thinking about them but they keep popping up. What was I talking about- Right! Point is, you can consider Day 60, or as I would call it in casual conversation “The 22 Page Junkan Comic,” my most excessive thankyou to her for helping me stay motivated throughout the project and playing a massive part in its inspiration.

As for making the comic.

It was a very bold mix of “I’m having the time of my life” and “Hell,” that's the shortest way I could put it. The longest way? Wellll

So by this point I wasn’t just showing these pics to Val alone. I had a few friends even before Val who I showed the art too. I’d get compliments and feedback and all that nice stuff that keeps me going.

As I’ve stated in the past (i think) one of the hardest parts of this project for me was the lack of validation for my efforts. I do not make art purely to be complimented, I make art in order to hopefully bring a smile to someones face. However I do still take a lot of joy when I see my art being positively received, it shows that my efforts were worth it. Seeing peoples reactions helps me remember why I’m doing this and that I’m doing a good job at it. So if I  don’t get a lot of that, especially on something i put a lot of effort into, it can be a little demoralizing. It’s something I’ve tried to work past during this year, but at the time it was a big issue. Day 60 took around 2 weeks to finish, as I was managing other projects and commission work at the time. The whole time I barely showed anyone, Val was obvious because this was a surprise gift for her, however the rest is because I was very adamant about not spoiling the Fic it was based on, and say for a single person amidst the people I would show these pics to none of them had read the fic. So I went from showing a small handful of people these to showing one guy (admittedly one of my best friends) for the span of 2 weeks while grinding away at the comic. It wasn’t until the very tail end that my girlfriend surprised me by reading the fic, meaning I could show her as well finally. 

Was it worth starving myself of a majority of positive feedback for 2 weeks when I haven’t had to do something like that for years? Oh god yes but we’re not there yet I still need to talk about the actual comic.

So when you compare the fic to the comic you’ll notice I skipped a decent portion of this scene, this is mostly just for the sake of not making this take too long, I think I picked a pretty solid starting point but also I won’t lie and say there isn’t a part of me that wishes I took like an extra week or two to adapt the whole scene sometimes. Sometimes.

Mukuro acted as the pseudo cover for the comic, both because it was a small detail noted in the scene that she was watching the door, and because I could call back to the “Mukuro Notes” bit I did on the Vampire Junkan comic, which seemed like a cute call back. I also used this as a way to skip past some of the initial dialogue of the scene in terms of adaptation. I’m really happy with how this page turned out visually, I remember having to fiddle with Mukuro’s anatomy and smaller details for awhile.

As you can probably tell, like usual the art for this was still being done as a sketch which I colored rather than what I do in my usual comic stuff, that being Sketch > Lines > Colors > Shading. I did shade a few of these pages cause I think the extra effort was warranted for some pages. I wouldn’t know this without like, actually time traveling to check but I think there was even a time this would be just uncolored sketches. Clearly that didn’t last because yeah, the chick who’s drawing 100 days worth of junkan art is going to make a 22 page comic and NOT color the whole thing, keep telling yourself that Jem.

Once again since I was directly adapting this fic like with Day 20, I tried to be semi accurate in what I assume Junko’s appearance would be, giving her the bunny and bow clips in her hair. I didn’t go all the way since honestly I think i would have gone a little crazy if I drew both characters in their actual Hope’s Peak uniforms for the whole thing, so I mostly stuck to their killing game designs with that small change to Junko. And yes, I did have to edit Junko’s hair to remove the bear clips multiple times throughout the first few pages because I kept forgetting not to draw them. For the first time having these two memorized was a hindrance. 

If you’ve ever seen me draw a Question Mark with a cross instead of a dot when drawing Mikan, it’s cause of this comic. Val said it was a cute detail so I decided to stick with it when applicable.

I think I have read the segment of the story this is based on like, 30 times bare minimum. Now some of those times were just because I often reread this fic to help me relax before sleeping, but the majority are because I kept looking at this scene over and over again so I could try and get every detail of this perfect. The posing, expressions, and other visuals, while a little rough around the edges were all possible after going over every paragraph to get the vibe as close as possible.

The dialogue is word for word, punctuation for punctuation ripped from the fic itself. Mildly difficult to pull off without having to extend certain pages, but in the end I managed to pull it off.

Page 7 is one of my favorite pages from the experience. Originally the visual was supposed to be Junko in literal chains of despair with Mikan coming in with a key to unlock them, however chains are agonizing to draw. Not drawing them was a form of self care, even if I think it would have been a bit of a stronger metaphor. 

Mikan’s expressions were very difficult to get just right in this, which was half the fun. Do you know how fucking satisfying it was to draw her happy crying??? Very.

Page 10 is another one I’m really happy with. I don’t know exactly what the original plan was beyond the fact that I wanted the shot of Mikan reacting to that being a lot more visually extreme for the colors and amount of space it takes up to make it as overwhelming as possible. But I went in reverse  and made the initial heart stop moment of her realizing that Junko just said that more prominent than the rush of emotion hitting her right after.

There were going to be more visuals of Mikan being cute in the following page, however not only was I struggling for ideas but also my energy was fluctuating to hell and back by this point in the comic.

It took awhile to get the initial kiss to look good because by this point I was still really figuring out how the fuck to do that. I can’t remember if I mentioned it but the kiss in the Vampire Comic is one I actually edited after the fact before the post was scheduled because it looked really weird and pissed me off. Luckily this one doesn’t bother me at all. I remember being super paranoid i made the posing look too sexual, I don’t know what the fuck past me was on about but I’m not here to question I’m here to curse you all with knowledge and funfacts.

On page 15 Junko’s blush and smile are a bit more intense compared to the other panels on this page while she wipes away Mikan’s tears. This is because in future stories by Val it is confirmed a few times that Junko has dacryphilia, meaning she thinks Mikan looks really hot when she’s crying. Yes I’m really working in details from other fics into this comic, you should not be surprised this isn’t even the weirdest thing i’ve put in this whole event.

Peak comedy that I mentioned the question mark with the cross dot earlier and on Page 16 I didn’t do that, immersion broken, back to square one Past Jem!

Junko with no contacts!!! I mentioned during one of the Vampire AU days that while I don’t feature it in that AU alone I like the idea of Junko’s real eye color being red. Something I can never remember whether it’s actually canon or just strongly implied. I think this is the page I put the most amount of effort into, both to make it look well lit, and also to make sure her god damn eyes look as pretty as humanly possible. The end result may or may not be my favorite page of the whole comic? I dunno

I said Mikan’s expressions were hard to draw for this since I wanted to get them just right, she requires a lot more work on the smaller details to make everything feel right. Junko however? Oh no I was thriving by this point, her more lowkey expressions do need a bit more thought and effort, but by this point in the comic I was in my element with her. 

But speaking of expressions, Page 19.

That smile on Mikan in the middle panel took 20 fuckin’ minutes because I had never drawn Mikan looking that happy and I had no fucking idea what I was doing. I did actually edit the page last night (as of the writing of this post), however it wasn’t for the expression. In the original version of the page, Junko looked really fuckin weird in the last panel, like I don’t know how I let that slide but her whole face and neck looked way off. These pages aren’t like, perfect quality but that one was just egregious. Also edited Mikan’s blush in that panel just cause I was already there.

Junko’s surprised face was very fun.

And I think if I were gonna ever redo any page in full for this comic it’d be the last one. I don’t think this one looks bad I just know that I could I could do way better nowadays even if I stuck to just coloring a sketch. Maybe sometime down the line.

And that’s the comic itself! I can’t think of any other fun facts or thoughts on the art itself at this point. Uhhhh, I guess the cover I made last minute for this post is technically a reference to a future day? What does that mean? Oh you’ll fuckin’ see.

So 2 weeks of effort with little feedback and rereading the same scene over and over again, was it worth it?

God yes it was.

When I sent Val the Google Drive folder with the comic I was jittery for hours as if I had too much coffee. I was nervous as shit over whether she would like it or not, since this was when I still was a perpetual nervous wreck with very little self respect who was viewing her as “Coolest Person Ever” rather than “That’s bestie.” I was also nervous because it was the first time I actually asked for a more detailed response rather than just letting her respond in whatever way she wanted.

But when she responded?

I have lived the past several years doing weed, I’ve recently quit (i think by the time this posts it’ll be close to 3 months since I went clean), but that’s besides the point. I’ve had mild highs, crazy highs, bad highs, good highs, sad highs, and highs where I don’t feel anything. 

I severely doubt that any drug or vice on this planet will ever match the feeling of reading that response. I was shaking, I bit my knuckles until it left indents for like a full hour minimum, an adrenaline rush doesn’t even begin to describe what I was experiencing. I rode out the happiness from this moment for an entire week, I worked on comm jobs that would normally leave me feeling aggravated as hell and did so with a smile because I was just that fuckin excited over it. This probably sounds embarrassing as shit but there have been times where I go back to read that response when I just need a pick me up.

I had a fuckin epiphany at that moment. Who fuckin cares?

24 fucking years (25 starting tomorrow) I’ve lived my life as a people pleaser perfectionist with extreme paranoia problems with absolutely no self esteem and a whole wealth of other mental health issues. I would feel like dogshit if I halfassed a comm even if it was a really bad one. My whole goal in life was to make a webcomic that would make EVERYONE happy, be a positive part of their week. I was paranoid about pissing off the wrong people, starting shit, how people perceive me, about what ideas for my comic would be problematic or not. But after this? Who gives a shit?

It ain’t about making People Happy it’s about making Yourself Happy and the People you can reach happy. My goal is still to make a webcomic that people will come across, and look forward to every week as an escape to give them some positive vibes every week, but I ain’t gonna do that if I’m desperately trying to appeal to every single person on the planet while trying to stay as uncontroversial as possible. I wanna make art that makes people happy, and if I make it the way I wanna make it then it will eventually reach the people that it can make happy.

But enough of that shit, the actual big thing that happened because of my complete reassessment of my personal values and entire goal for life is that I fucking finally stopped giving a shit about whether people were gonna throw me in a woodchipper because I shipped Junkan. And it will continue to get funnier and funnier that after all the time I spent scared out of my fuckin’ mind over what people would think, that absolutely fucking nothing happened. It is day 49 at the time of writing this and STILL I have not had anyone give me grief or issues over this whole project, nothing but support and even some new friends over it. You cannot write something funnier than that.

I think if I went back in time and told myself at the beginning of the year that her fears were completely unfounded she would bleed out the eyes and pass out, and I would laugh. I’d laugh so fuckin’ hard.

So yeah, this Comic and the reaction it elicited changed my entire perspective on life and being an artist, I can’t say It’s been perfect or that I haven’t faltered on certain things, but  I think to an extent I have been a lot happier as a result. Is it a little weird that this niche version of a niche ship is now directly tied to a drastic change in my mind? Is it any weirder than the fact that I transitioned into a woman because I binge read like, all of the Tokomaru I possibly could on AO3 and it made me think that wearing a skirt might be cool?

Alright so how’re ya'll holdin up? Drink some water we ain’t done. This is already getting up to 7 pages on the google doc that I prepare these posts on and now I have to like, talk about Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed properly. So bare witness to me trying to figure out how the hell to format talking about what might just be my favorite fic of all time.

But first lemme go reread the entire thing, I know the passage of time doesn’t exist in the context of these text walls but i’ll be back in like, a few hours to a day.

Okay i’m back-

I’m honestly not sure where to start here. Normally with my biggest obsessions I could probably go on lengthy rambles about why I love them so much, but this? I struggle to find a proper place to start, or even how to format this. I don’t want to just give a beat for beat plot synopsis while talking about the things I like, but also how do I talk about something this good otherwise.

So fair warning this might be completely incoherent at points, sorry??

This was not like, the third Junkan fic I ever read despite it being one of the three fics vital to me becoming the inhuman machine of pure Junkan brainrot that I’ve become today. A lot of things are blurred but if I remember right the exact timeline of events was Read a cute Junkan fic which made me think “Wait this ship can be soft and cute???” and then I read Smile by Kayleen, which is funny in hindsight because I really went to tooth rotting fluff to one of the darkest Non-Abusive Junkan fics out there (dark by my standards at least and I think my frame of reference is out of sorts). I think after that I just stopped for awhile, partially because Smile wasn’t finished at the time, partially because I still wasn’t sure how to navigate the Junkan tag to find what I was looking for in the ship.

Smile comes to a thrilling conclusion and I think to myself “maybe this author has more?” which is how I found Kayleen’s series of One-Shots for these two (along with separate three other pieces), I read through those in a day and would continue to check the tag to see if it updated, like, every day.  Eventually after a couple months (possibly way longer), something came over me and I finally started seriously looking over the tag to try and find more Soft Junkan, whether there were others I read before it or not, I honestly can’t remember. 

What I do remember is I came across “The Marvelous Makeover of Mikan Tsumiki” by VanadisValentine. I don’t know how I found that before the fic of today’s subject, if I had to guess I wasn’t reading the tags first on this run through. I was likely reading the name of the fic, and THEN i read the tags to see if it has what I was looking for (I wasn’t a starving animal for the ship by this point so I was a lot more picky with what I was willing to risk my time on). And this fic’s name was slightly more eye catching for me at the time I guess??

Fun fact when I first read this fic I wasn’t even sure if it actually was a shipping piece at first, not until finishing it at least. How? Poor reading comprehension is my only guess lol. Anyway, I finish that, loved it, and made my usual move of checking to see if the author had written anything else like this fic, and oh boy did she. 

This finally brings us to me finally reading “Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed.” Took us fucking long enough.

It was perfect, it was everything. I fucking loved reading it the entire time. It had everything I could have wanted out of this ship without me even realizing what I wanted at the time. The weirdest part that my immediate response after wasn’t to go on an adrenaline fueled binge of the tag like I did for Tokomaru way back when I first got into Danganronpa. The most I did was read the other Junkan fics in Val’s library at the time. Otherwise I just stopped again. 

It was then that I drew the first three days of this event, the original sketches. I kept them a secret between myself and a small few friends, too paranoid to let anyone find out. And things just kinda stayed like that, for awhile. And then sometime in December, of last year I decided to give that same fic another read, and something just kinda, fucking snapped?

I went up and down the Junkan Tag on AO3, reading whatever I could, I was reading stuff I wouldn’t have ever risked reading with variable amounts of success. I only skipped a small handful of fics, including one that we’ll come back to way later in the project. Everything else I was scraping even the smallest crumb of fic to read at times. After that I scoured the tumblr tags, taking in whatever soft art or headcanons that I could, I went to Fanfiction.net, a website I still barely know how to fuckin’ navigate to try and find ANYTHING. I went to Deviantart to try and find any art or fics, no results not helped by the fact that it would include results that were slightly related. And not to sound like a Youtuber with no personality who’s built their career on punching down at whoever they can because otherwise their audience would see they’re a complete shell of a human being, but it being deviantart you can imagine what I was finding more often on that search. 

I even went to Wattpad, and that ones it’s own mini story that I’m saving for Tomorrow because the art for Tomorrow doesn’t have a lot of talking points on it’s own like this one does. But Wattpad had no fuckin results either.

I cannot remember the last time I had ever been this obsessed with a ship, this desperate. So, 100 Days of Junkan began, even if it wasn’t planned to be this big project. All cause of this fic turning a switch in my brain with a hammer.

Hey look we’re talking about the fic again, I told you this was gonna incoherent.

Anyway so the fic is just, perfect? To me at least? Before I had even realized why I liked the ship in the first place it did everything that I love about it at it’s core. It practically set the standard for the ship in my brain, at bare minimum within the context of a Non-Despair AU. And overtime as Val’s continued to write for these two her portrayals of the character are practically just how I view them at this point.

It’s not 1 to 1 but you can likely trace every aspect of how I portray Junko and Mikan whether through art or writing back to Val’s writing, down to even using certain pet names for the characters because of their usage in her work. I’d worry that I’m being way too much, heaping an overbearing amount of praise and respect. But also this fic unintentionally sent me careening into the direction of drawing 150+ Junkan pictures, learning various new skills and techniques as an artist, rekindled my love of writing (despite the horrors of actually having to write), making new friends both in and out of this community including some who I consider close, coping with mental health issues, and then performing this gigantic project at the tail end of the year. So I might actually be underselling this a bit in actuality. And don’t worry when I get to talking about a few other fics later in the project I’ll be doing my best to give equal praise to them as well, it’s just gonna be a bit sdlahfljasdfhas.

I’ve already said it but the fic has everything, at least of the core reasons I love this ship from the non-abusive perspective that this blog has built its foundation on.

To me I love Junkan because it’s two people that could not be anymore different from one another, who arguably should despise one another finding happiness in each other. It adds a new layer of depth to Junko to ponder how someone like her, whether in canon or in a non-despair AU like this could fall in genuine love with a total wreck like Mikan and how that would affect her character. It’s fluffy moments of Mikan getting to be genuinely happy for what might be the first time in her life while Junko showers her with affection. It’s Junko being fucking hilarious while Mikan can barely keep up with her humor and teasing because she’s so flustered. It’s Junko grappling with newfound emotions. It’s Junko and Mikan bringing out the best in each other and inciting positive change through their influence. It’s that perfect blend of hurt/comfort. And so much more beyond that, all contained in this one god damn fic. I might even be forgetting things I like about the ship too, there’s just so much that goes into this!

Obviously this is all specifically in a Non-Despair context, the Evil Girlfriends angle has a myriad of other reasons to enjoy the ship which I’ve become fond of. Especially in some of the parallels it can have with a non-Toxic Yuri angle of things. But that doesn’t really apply for today’s subject and I’m not someone who’s deeply knowledgeable or equipped to sing its praises at the moment. Maybe in the future though?

Is there anything else I can yammer on about with this fic? Uhhhh- Oh. I love how it uses the supporting cast. I think Val has a really excellent grasp on how to write Mukuro and Junko’s dynamic without dipping into the territory of DR3 where it just gets a bit uncomfortable. I think that’s better exemplified in one of her other fics rather than this story, but I still do love Mukuro’s portrayal and role in the story. This was my first time learning who Yasuke was, I hadn’t properly heard of Danganronpa Zero by this point so I was really confused as to who the hell he was. Certainly left a strong impression in the story though. I think Kaede’s sudden appearance and role in the plot progressing towards the stunning climax of Chapter 4 was really good! 

I very often go back to Chapter 1, 4, and 5 whenever I need to go to relax before bed. I’ve reread this fic multiple times as a whole but an absolute fuck ton of times as separated pieces, they’re so god damn soothing on my mind. 

The fact that I haven’t left giant fuckin’ comments on any chapter of that fic is quite frankly one of my deepest sins, but one of these days I’m gonna buckle down and write up on those because they deserve every ounce of praise in my scrawny lil whitegirl body. 

I think I’ve said everything I can for now but even now I feel like I haven’t gotten across how much I love this fic. It genuinely is my favorite fanfiction out there both just for the quality of it’s writing and the comically massive influence it had on my life this year. If you somehow haven’t read it by now, please do, if you like the art I’ve drawn of this ship over the past 60 days I can almost 100% guarantee that you’ll like this story. And read the rest of Val’s fics too! Please! 

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[watcheraurora]

Deepfrost Pass

More than a little inspired by @/mellozheist's want to give credit but not bother with my shipping nonsense so no tag unfinished Let It Go Tango animatic that I was watching... but as always I've got Rancher brainrot on my brain... have fun! 3.2k words

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"Absolutely not," Grian snapped. "No. Not happening. You can't."

"Try and stop me," Jimmy challenged. "You're not a Watcher here."

"I am a Watcher here, but my powers are limited. Not gone. And I say no."

"Well I say yes. And you won't stop me." Jimmy shoved Grian out of the way of the door. "It's your fault anyway."

Grian's wings went rigid. "Excuse me?" he demanded, voice cold.

"It's your fault!" Jimmy retorted. "If you hadn't made that stupid server—"

"If I hadn't made that stupid server, you two wouldn't ever have met the way you did!" Grian spat back. "You wouldn't ever have known him like this if it weren't for me. If anything, you should be thanking me."

"I am grateful to you for that. But only that. The rest? Yeah, I do blame you for."

"If you go there, you'll die."

Jimmy shoved his arms into his coat. "That's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Tim—" Grian's hand lashed out and caught Jimmy's wrist. "Even I can't—and I'm a Watcher—It's just—there are nearly ten wardens in there. They've taken him over. He left for a reason. Can't you just—"

Jimmy shook Grian's hand off. "No. I can't 'just.' I know you think that whatever he found up there corrupted him or possessed him. I think you're wrong. That server was awful to him in a way he wasn't prepared for. I can take being the butt of jokes. I'm used to it. He never handled betrayal well and put on such a brave face that no one noticed. He snapped. And I'm don't care. I'm going to see him. I'm not here for very long before I'm going to get kicked."

"Tim, don't be stupid—"

"That's me. Stupid, stupid Tim," Jimmy spat. His wings snapped open and he hurled himself into the sky.

Grian was a fantastic flyer. He was small and nimble and could maneuver incredibly well. But he couldn't hold a candle to the raw power and strength of Jimmy's massive wings. That was what came from their height difference and builds. Jimmy was built for strength and speed. Most real canaries weren't, but he wasn't an actual bird, for crying out loud.

His armor barely even weighed him down as he surged higher into the sky. Grian would never be able to catch up. In small areas with lots of obstacles, Grian would win a race any day. But wide open sky going in a straight line? He'd have to work extra hard to keep up with Jimmy's casual flight.

He flapped his wings and soared higher. The world dropped even farther below. He knew this would be a long flight—hours, probably—but he would make it most of the way on the wing. Then the last leg of the journey on foot. He was prepared. He knew what he was doing.

He hoped.

All sorts of landscapes passed by beneath him. For hours. Gradually lifting up from plains into hills into foothills. Until he was in a taiga. Nearing the tundra tree line. Mountains surged up from the ground ahead of him, and he'd have to gain more altitude to access the pass between two of them that he needed. His wings beat the air harder, lifting him up until the air was almost too thin to cushion his wings and keep him aloft.

Jimmy flew until frost started to crystallize on his feathers. He knew he wouldn't be able to get any closer via flight, so he tilted into a sharp dive and braked hard, landing with a crunch of his leather boots in the deep snow. He pulled his coat tighter around him and drew his wings in close. They were so long that they dragged through the snow behind him. And they took the bite of this cold mountain range the most. But he couldn't let himself care about that.

He pulled a Blaze Rod out of his inventory and held it in one hand, a torch in the other. The Blaze Rod lit the torch and both helped keep him warm as he trudged up the mountain. He knew he couldn't be far now. The sun was going down. Mobs were going to start spawning soon.

He ate as he hiked. A golden carrot styled to look like a churro every so often. Scar had insisted he take them, so he had.

The sun went down. A full moon began to emerge over the mountain peaks. Jimmy caught sight of it when he was between peaks. There was no path to where he was going. Just the ever-worsening cold to lead him on. But he felt the direction in his heart.

So when he rounded the mountain and saw the fortress, he wasn't sure how to feel.

The thing was massive. Dark stone and teal accents. Grey-black towers clawed at the midnight-blue sky, as though trying to feed the stars to the gaping, frowning mouth partway up the enormous central tower. A warden's mouth.

The doorway was open, the portcullis raised.

Who needed security like that in a place like this? When the dangerous stuff was inside?

Jimmy stared.

The Deepfrost Citadel.

Blood. Pain. Screaming. Tango's yellow fire hair simmering down, blazing back up with the ice-blues and teals of soul fire. His friends' betrayals still lingering in his heart. The rage never fully going away, just pretending it was gone...

Jimmy still had some of Tango's memories. He remembered waking up in the middle of the night in Tumble Town, not too long after he first settled there after Double Life had ended, to Tango's screams in his nightmares. He remembered waking up months ago to a message from Grian, panicking that Tango had retreated into the mountains and no one had seen nor heard from him since.

Tango had even avoided him when he'd crossed over into Jimmy's world. Jimmy had rebuilt their ranch and everything. Tango promised it was his home. And then he spent all his time down in Gobland, too absorbed in work to... to ever... to ever come home.

A tear slid down Jimmy's face, trying to freeze but so hot that it made his skin tingle from the contact.

He trudged closer to the citadel.

Fine. If Tango was going to go back to his cave and his castle since returning home to Hermitcraft, then Jimmy was going to go to him.

He made it into the maw of the open doorway and shook off. Snow fell off his hair, wings, and the shoulders of his coat. His sheriff clothes were designed for the broiling heat of the mesa. They were thick and protective, but lightweight to release body heat.

Not a good idea for this taiga. He was freezing.

He climbed a long, dark staircase into a semi-constructed great hall.

"Tango?" he called. His voice echoed to the towers above him.

He heard the humming of a warden, coming from somewhere deep below. Just that sound alone made his blood run cold.

"Tango!" he called louder.

Something moved in the shadows cast by the soul fires. He whirled, expecting a warden or a ravager.

Nothing.

He held the Blaze Rod closer to his chest and extinguished the torch, tucking it back in his inventory. The lack of its warmth made his wings shiver. "Tango. Is that you?" he asked quieter. "Tango, please."

The movement was a shadow itself. Humanoid in shape, but nothing more than silhouette. It pointed, dodged to another shadow, and pointed again. Jimmy followed. "Tango, is that you?" Jimmy asked more urgently.

The shadow shook its head. Pointed again. Flitted to another shadow. Pointed. Jimmy followed its path.

A hole in the wall that led to a hole in the ground. The shadow briefly appeared, pointed down, and vanished.

Jimmy looked down apprehensibly. He didn't see any water... but there was a water elevator right next to this drop. Obviously a way up and down to somewhere.

Trusting in Tango, trusting in whatever they'd been on that first Ranch, hearts and souls in each other's hands, he closed his eyes and stepped off the drop, pulling his wings in tight so they wouldn't smash into anything or break and holding the Blaze Rod to his chest.

He landed on powdered snow, covered in a carpet square. It absorbed the damage of his fall. He ducked low to clear his wings and stepped out.

He was in a storage room. The walls were lined with rows and rows and columns and columns of chests. It was a remarkably compact storage room, all things considered. He'd seen the incredibly complex, sprawling system behind the doors of Scar's shop fronts in his theme park. That was huge. This was just chests. All shoved against one another. A Nether portal droned off to his left. And beside it, an archway that led out into a huge open cavern. Jimmy stood on the edge of the storage room's packed mud brick floor and looked out, his wings extending slightly behind him.

The cavern wasn't just some empty hole. It was filled with an unfathomably complicated web of redstone, all woven around structures. Jimmy couldn't make heads or tails of any of it.

This kind of area is where Grian's flying skills would be more beneficial than his. Jimmy could fly around in here, but he'd smack into every wall and track of redstone he came across. He couldn't maneuver anywhere near as well. This was an obstacle course dream for Grian.

Jimmy unfurled his wings and launched into the cavern, trying to keep his ridiculously long wingspan as close to himself as he could while still staying airborne while he flew around, searching the structures and the web of redstone.

"Tango?" he called. His voice echoed around the structure. He wondered if, for a moment, he actually saw that shadow running through the darkness alongside him. Or if he was losing it.

He heard giggling. Tango's distinct giggle. He pulled up short and banked in a circle, looking around.

"Hmhm! Dungeon's making me hear my birdie," Tango said in his high-pitched, silly voice. Sounding... slightly manic.

A firework rocket shot off. Jimmy heard the snapping of Elytra membranes. He looked around—

And caught sight of Tango flying back toward the storage room, a shulker box in hand. Jimmy twisted sharply and shot after him, catching his wings on tracks of powered and activator rails. He grunted in pain at the impacts.

When he finally made it back to the storage room, Tango was kneeling in front of a ground-level chest, rifling through it. He had a black hood on, attached to the long black coat he'd worn on Jimmy's world. The one that had spawned on him in Jimmy's nightmare when he snapped and his yellow fire hair had turned blue. The nightmare where the wardens broke through the ground at Tango's command and attacked the other Hermits who tried to contain them—and him—before he retreated up Deepfrost Pass and churned out his fortress.

He was singsonging under his breath as he moved materials from the chest into the shulker box. "Just keep workin'. Do the buildy-buildy. We'll show them. We'll show 'em all when I watch Ravagers munch their faces off. Especially Bdubs."

He shuffled over, popping another shulker box onto the ground and filling it with contents of another chest.

Jimmy just watched for a few moments.

"Gotta finish. Have to. Can't wait to feed the Hermits to the wardens."

Jimmy crept closer. He set a hand on Tango's shoulder. "Tango," he said gently.

"Wah-ga-gah!" Tango exclaimed, whirling around with his coat flaring around him. His hood fell off, revealing soul-fire hair. And, for just a moment, black eyes. But the black disappeared, and they were back to blue with deep blue sclera. He started laughing. "Very funny, Decked Out!" he called toward the cavern of structures and redstone. "Making me hallucinate Jimmy isn't going to speed things up, you know!"

"Tango, I—I'm not a hallucination," Jimmy said, tightening his grip on Tango's shoulder. The coat was so thick, he couldn't feel Tango's muscle giving underneath.

Tango leaned closer conspiratorially and winked. "That's what a hallucination would say," he said playfully. He turned back to his materials and kept shoveling them over into the shulker box.

"No, I'm not. Tango—" Jimmy grabbed Tango's shoulders and spun him around. "Look at me. I'm really here. I flew most of the way here and hiked the rest. I had to come see you. I had to—you—I miss you. I've barely seen you since our home worlds collided. You never came home to Tumble Town. The only reason I came through the Rift was to spend more time with you, and I've barely seen you since I've been here. You just left. What did I do, Tango? What have I done to warrant you avoiding me?"

Tango tried to turn back around, but Jimmy held him firm.

Tango blinked. Something like clarity sharpened in his eyes. "You're really here," he said.

"Yes. I'm here. I'm not some illusion or hallucination."

"I thought... the dungeon..." Tango looked out to the cavern, then back to Jimmy. Somewhere deep below, a warden hummed and sniffed. Jimmy's wings shivered. Tango's eyes snapped back to his. "I have to finish Decked Out. The dungeon needs to be whole."

Jimmy knelt so he and Tango were nearly at eye-level, still holding the shoulders of the coat. A glassy look made Tango's eyes unfocus.

"The others... they tried to stop me from leaving. But they've already held me back for so long. Bdubs betrayed me. We were teammates. He stabbed me in the back. He was no match for my wardens. Grian thought he was some almighty eldritch creature. But six wings are just more targets to get blastificated. Even Etho—the original!—was powerless to stop me when I finally let go of everything I'd used to hold myself back."

"Tango. Can you find it in yourself to forgive your friends?" Jimmy ran a hand through Tango's soul fire hair. It burned his skin in a way he wasn't used to. Soul fire was hotter than normal fire, but back when they were SoulBound, Tango's fire hadn't even been able to burn Jimmy's skin.

Tango bared his sharp teeth. His hair blazed brighter, higher, and hotter. Jimmy leaned away.

"Tango," Jimmy said soothingly. Repeating his name over and over to remind him who he was. To remind him he was a person. He cupped the side of Tango's face. "Look at me. Look at my eyes." He waited until Tango did. "Can you?"

Tango grumbled under his breath. Bitter and sarcastic.

"Hey. Remember when we first met? In Third Life? And I died to your lava game?"

"Dare to Flare," Tango said automatically.

"That's right. Do you remember when we met again in Double Life? After the creeper?"

Tango's voice pitched up. "You were angry."

"I wasn't," Jimmy said. "Not at you. Just that I'd lost the resources I'd gathered. It had nothing to do with you. And you were always so kind to me. I'm used to everyone putting me on the short end of the joke. You never did. You were a little sarcastic with me, sure. But you always put yourself at the short end of the joke. But you were kind to me. You're one of the only people who ever treated me with unconditional respect as a person, all the time. It's why I..." Jimmy cleared his throat. His wings twitched and ruffled. "It's why I fell for you, so fast."

Tango blinked, slow, like a cat. His head tilted into the contact of Jimmy's hand.

"You saw, while we lived on the Ranch, how everyone else treats me. I'm used to it. I encourage it. If they have to be mean to someone, they should be mean to me. I can take it. But you... you were never anything but loyal. Not just to me. To your team. And you got nothing in return but betrayal. You and me—we really feel our emotions. We pretend we don't, but we do. Our emotions are big and deep. The good, and the bad. Maybe it's why we got put together." Jimmy bent closer and rested his forehead to Tango's. "We have to learn to let the bad slide off, once we've felt it. You have to forgive the other Hermits. You have to let go of the rage."

Tango took a deep breath. "I... I can't."

"Please? Just try. For me?"

Tango reached up and wrapped cold hands around the back of Jimmy's neck, lacing his fingers together. "Birdie..."

"I'm only asking you to try. Breathe with me, and thing about letting it go."

"I'll try."

They shared deep breaths. Trying to tune out the wardens deep below. "Thank your emotions for keeping you safe, and release them," Jimmy whispered.

They knelt on the floor of the storage room for what felt like a long time. Just breathing and quietly encouraging Tango to forgive and let go. Jimmy kept quietly whispering affirmations he used to tell himself when he was learning not to mind the jokes.

A warden screamed somewhere below.

Tension surged out of Tango's shoulders and he slumped forward.

Jimmy caught him, cradling him to his chest. "I got you. It's okay. It's okay. You're fine." He rocked them both, his wings encircling them in a gold shield of protection. "What was that? Why did that warden...? Was Grian right? Were the wardens' influence bleeding into you?"

Tango shook his head against Jimmy's heart. "No. Other way around. My pain was bleeding into them. Wardens are mourners. They were mourning for me. But you're right. I can let it go."

Jimmy smiled. "That's it. Exactly."

There was a long pause. "I do still have to finish this game though. I've been working on it for so long—I can't just stop now."

"No, I know. But let it be just that. A game. Not a vessel for revenge or a channel for betrayal. Just a game."

"I can do that," Tango said. "Or. Well. I can try, anyway."

"That's all you need to do. Just try. Because there's merit in trying. And eventually, trying can pay off. Next thing you'll know, you'll be doing."

"Yeah... yeah. I can do that."

Jimmy kissed the top of Tango's head. The soul fire hair didn't burn him. "That's all I ask." He pulled back a little. "Come up with me? Outside? Come see the sky, please? The sun went down, but the stars are beautiful this far from everyone else. It's so dark and high altitude up here. They're beautiful."

"Okay."

Jimmy smiled. "Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Okay!"

"Come with me!" Jimmy pulled Tango toward the water elevator.