QIAN THE KISSER lmaooo my ultimae attack is just plopping a heart shape pillow onto everyone that does 99% of total HP damage... i am uncreative these days lilikags only exists because my first oc ever evolved into the sister of kageyama tobio from hq.. which i was obsessed with when i entered this site. nazu-yume turned into nazukisser one day and i do not regret my only ever URL change for a blog that didn't completely change its purpose. riddle-lovehearts was cute on my end. i just think it was cute. but sakunyas is so so so cute its so you very smart indeed
oh these are exams administered not by the school itself but uh. by a company. who charges like 90 dollars per exam. that you statistically will probably not pass. and everyone buys into it because at least taking the course shows you try hard. which helps you get into a good university. better if you scored a 4 or 5, which then again you need to pay to report to Each School You Apply To
when will the collegeboard (this company) get competition that knocks it off its fucking high horse
yeah im taking calc ab which is like. calc 1? and calc bc is calc 1 and 2 in the same amt of time? maybe its bcs all the smart kids go into calc bc is prob why the pass rate is good
oh yeah uh, the grading goes like ... this. they have very strict guidelines on how to grade. so for frq (free response question) if like any of x, x, or x are true, score whatever number it tells you to. if the response gets past those and if any of x x or x are true, score a 6 or smth. and whether the response reached that, depends on the ap graders, who are stuck into this huge place in like idk minnesota and they just grade all day. all day. like they have a quota of like 200 or 300 exams to go through and grade. for mcq its either right or wrong the computer can grade that they prob just scan it all in the scantron
for language yeah it depends on the teacher and how they prepare you for the test over the years you learn the language idk if you did the STAMP test or whatever but i got like one of the top scores in the class for speaking, a 5 5 6 7 (reading, writing, listening, speaking) so technically i have a good chance at ap japanese exam but am i going to sit through sensei's class for another year? hell the fuck no.
i have no idea where they got that, because i was like "tf is happening" this entire year. so like i don't know. but i passed.
ANYWAYS waaaaa ive been taking a break so its really hard for me to accept that i am hardworking even though a lot of people say so? maybe its because like every time i slack i get scolded by someone at home LOL but ive been resting the last 6 days so yeah (spring break)
thankyouuuu if i gibe up all my hobbies i really wont have anything left for me so i have to just. idk find some way to enjoy at least one of them and stick with it till i find something that brings me a lot of joy again 👍🏻someday
anyways sorry this ended up being Extremely Long i can go off about the collegeboard forever. they sent me a text yesterday saying that ap exams are coming up.
jesus christ i'm not surprised you're stressed it sounds so insane. feels like the more you read about it the more braincells you lose ;; i won't complain about the spanish system every agai-- well no i will because it sucks ass but you get the point ;;;
having at least one hobby you can go to to disconnect from responsabilities it's pretty much a need tbh writing is fun. drawing. having an insane brainrot over a cute bunch of pixels <3 anything works as long as it makes your life a bit easier. sometimes even silly things like talking to someone, finding a new game etc
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König Teasing Reader in His Dialect
I finally got around to writing for König being sappy with his S/O in his native tongue! Native dialect, in fact!! I'm not gonna include any translations for this one! And don't bother putting it in Google Translate either, it won't work :3c
“Du host so a liabes Gschau.”
A gentle twilight it was, the sky donning a beautiful coat of orange. With the few fluffy clouds floating by, you watched your boyfriend glow in the soft evening light. It was almost magical, the way the sun set behind the mountains, the way it created a halo of utmost pulchritude on König. He was a rough man, who found it within himself to be as gentle as one would never imagine. His hands were calloused, but the way he caressed your face made it seem as though he was a lover by nature. Although he may have killed more people than you have ever known in your lifetime, that fact barely came to mind when his voice would call for you. Strong his accent, yes, but with it came a sense of familiarity that you would get nowhere else. König was a beautiful man. If you could have, then you would have knelt in front of him, allowing him to tread his fingers through your locks. If you could have, you would have slung your arms around him, burying yourself in his warmth and scent. But alas, all that came to mind was confusion. What did he say this time?
“You know my German isn’t that good just yet. You gotta be patient with me. Can you translate?”
With a certain glimmer in his eyes, he smiled as he shook his head. “No, I’ll let you figure this one out. It would be boring if I translated everything for you.” But even so, he walked towards you, quiet as a cat, hunting for its prey. All there was to devour was you, unity through the purpose of consuming one another. He stood still in front of you, eyes almost hazy as he seemed a little unfocused. He was a hunter, but whenever you were around he laid his weapon to rest, craving your attention more than he felt the bloodlust. You calmed him more than any restful night ever could. Your touch was the remedy for his loneliness, his fear, his anger. And this time, it was his turn to repay you, gently running his thumb across your cheek.
“Du bist mei ois. Für di leib i. I bin dir so vü schuidig. Söbst wenn i dir die Wöd gebn darad, warads ned genug. Danke für ois. Bitte bleib bei mir so laung wies nur geht. Hah, i reid grod so vü Scheiße, aba des stört mi ned. Du mochst mi so fertig, aber i hob di so lieb. Eigentlich wuid i heite schiacha zu dir sein, oba i kauns afoch ned. I bin so verliebt in di.”
Should you feel angry at him? For all you knew he could have been cursing you worse than any string of English words ever could. And yet, his expression betrayed him. That gentle smile, that soft gaze, that tender touch. König let out a content sigh, placing his hands atop your shoulders. It was evident he wanted something, he wanted more, but all he could do was stare as love overtook every fiber of his being. In that moment, he wasn’t a hunter, he wasn’t a fighter, he wasn’t a soldier. If there was one thing he could call himself, it was yours. Your boyfriend, your partner, your loved one. It didn’t matter as long as it was in relation to you. He pulled you into a tight embrace. His pride was a wall made of steel, but you burned yourself through the metal and settled down in his heart. All you knew was that he was so much kinder towards you than he gave himself credit for.
“Love, I’ve got no idea what you’re saying.”
“Brauchst a ned. I wü afoch nur so mit dir bleibn. I mechat di für imma so hoitn. Du bist so liab. I hob so vü Scheiße im Militär durchgmocht, oba es wor’s ma ois wert wal i di kennanglernt hob. I darad ois no amoi so mochn. Bitte sei ma ned bes, oba i glab es is gscheita wennst ned wast, wos i grod sog. Du suist mi ned als schwochn Maun sehn. Oba nur damit du’s wast, es gibt kan Menschn auf dera Wöd, den i liaba hob als di. I hoff, dass ma ewig zaumbleibm kennan.”
“Are you being sappy right now?”
But the only response you got was him holding onto you as though you were a beautiful, fleeting memory. Wrapping your arms around him in return, you resigned yourself to your fate. He could so very easily snap you in half, and yet he chose to use his strength to make you feel protected. Indeed, König was a different man with you. You knew him as the anxious colonel that was still capable of leading people. Deadly precise, viciously efficient, always successful. And today he felt as giddy as a child watching its first rainbow, all because he was with you.
“Ich hab dich ganz doll lieb.”
Finally, some words you could understand.
“Love you too, König.”
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The past couple days online have been... interesting. I consider myself a leftist, think capitalism is corrupt, and think that it needs to be seriously reformed/overthrown. I admit that while I've thrown around phrases and terms like "burn it all down" and "the revolution needs to come" out of frustration without actually thinking about what a revolution entails: excellent organization, unity, and strategy to defeat the United States, the world's largest military superpower which has inflicted political and social destabilization across the majority of countries around the world. There also needs to be superb infrastructure and community to support the disabled, elderly, and poor populations who rely on government assistance and programs, healthcare, and accommodations while this so-called revolution rages on.
All I've received from the far leftist movement are lectures from condescending intellectuals who rattle off academic citations regarding ideological theory rather than practical, tangible steps to advocate for change in our local and regional communities. I have not seen one of them actually discuss conversations they've had with their friends, family, or Americans about what they want to see reflected for the future of the country. I have not seen one of them discussed how destructive, detrimental and traumatic a Trump presidency was for social prejudice and morale in the United States. I understand that for many marginalized groups they've been living in a facist state for centuries so the possibility Project 2025 doesn't galvanize them to see the two parties differently, but I don't think it is fair to white leftists falsely equivocate the election of both parties for the entire American population at all??? Or like at least specify the issues you're referring to in which you view both parties as the same?????
Literally one TikTok creator who I used to follow talked about how true leftists are so much better than liberals because they aren't waiting for a presidential candidate to save the world NOW due to the accelerated apocalypse due to climate change but when asked how to change the world they suggest sharing ideas of your future utopia with other leftist groups. How the fuck is sitting around talking about living in a walkable community is great considered "saving the world now"? How are you going to dismantle and restructure American infrastructure to create these communities? How are you going to remove existing racial and social tensions to create a community where everyone lives happily side by side? Do people not consider reality at all?????
And is it not wrong for people to have a fucking sliver of optimism and hope at incremental change that's achieved within the corrupt bipartisan system of American politics, even if they know it's propaganda??? Is it wrong for people to have a singular fucking moment of relief in feeling like their values, beliefs, and lives will be better protected and THEY can advocate for change better??? Is it wrong when there's a couple months until the most pressing election in recent history for people to make the choice they feel will reduce the most amount of harm???
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thinking about the headcanon that after the Arishok fight Meredith has leverage over Hawke due to them being outed as a mage.
thinking about Secret trying her hardest to win the duel without using any magic at all, and when she does fall back on it, using the subtlest spells she has, ones that you wouldn't visually recognize as magic unless you know where to look
(Meredith knows where to look. Meredith has been looking for a while. and even if she wasn't, a templar will always sense a mage reaching for the Fade)
...but maybe Secret does succeed. maybe she's careful enough and well liked enough that putting her away based on Templar Sense alone would stir too much unrest.
(but her friends don't have the same luxury)
(the healer who rushes to her side as soon as the Arishok falls, putting his hands over the gaping wound in her stomach. if Meredith searches his clinic, will she not find lyrium? will she not find a staff?)
(the Dalish elf who shoves the healer away, kneeling over Hawke, touching the side of her face with a bloodstained hand, chanting - or singing? - or praying? - something in Elven. if Meredith searches her home in the Alienage, will she not find things an elf definitely shouldn't have?)
(Secret knows.)
(Anders won't accept her invitation to move in - they're not on good enough terms - but Merrill does, happily. Secret frames it as a romantic gesture, and it is, but it's also to keep her safe. but she fears that it's not enough)
(Secret knows.)
(Secret knows that, in succeeding to protect herself, she has exposed her friends)
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sometimes I forget that it is in fact not normal to have sudden social anxiety spikes after only two days spent inside, away from other people.
(the kind that make it near impossible to even just step in front of the door and walk downstairs to check the letterbox, much less leave for long enough to get groceries)
rest of a long thing under the cut bc I don't want to bother anybody with my introspection. but I wanted it to be there in case someone else struggles with this. idk. helps to not feel entirely alone in dealing with this shit
and paid time off is a curse sometimes, because it leads to weeks not going outside, which then starts the entire cycle I've been working on disrupting all over again. and I know that the only solution is actually going outside even if it's just for a bit, but fuck if it isn't the hardest thing in the world sometimes.
and it's so at odds with how people know me, generally, folks at work, friends for the most part, because I've gotten real good at pushing through and just doing the things that my body tells me are dangerous, but then I stay at home for three days and I just.. fall apart.
it's not as bad as it used to be, I'm better at at least taking out the trash if I need to, and if I can work myself up to it even ordering food instead of going without meals if things get too bad, but it takes so much energy to do any of those small, everyday things that I should just be able to do. idk
I never really went to therapy for it even if it's the mental-illness shit I've dealt with for the longest time. they diagnosed me when I was 14 and by then I had probably 14 years of ingrained, bad habits built up. and they recommended group therapy which in retrospect probably could have helped a lot, but to me (teen bullied by other teens who felt unsafe around pretty much anyone, even at home) it sounded like hell so I refused to go.
I can still remember my mum telling me that I would instead have to work on dealing with it myself, finding strategies to live with it, I guess. we would play silly games like labyrinth before I'd have to go to school, but I'd just cry through it all and then oftentimes circle back home when I knew everyone would be out. suffice to say I did find ways to push myself to do the things that felt like walking into fire, and it worked enough to a point where it just felt like holding my hand over a candle flame for a little too long. bearable if painful. and I guess I'm still stuck there.
trauma therapy helped me process some things and put others in perspective, enough to at least move on (never forgive or forget though, that I'll leave to the people with bigger hearts) and we worked through some of the hangups, but overall not much has changed nor do I think it would given more time and therapy.
like my grandmother I struggle to make myself do things that I know I should sometimes. (and the Innerer Schweinehund is too strong) at least if I don't technically need to do those things to survive. instead I'll eat plain rice for weeks on end. or candy from two years ago, or drink coffee and eat nothing for a week. which, I know, is disordered eating which in and of itself would probably benefit from more therapy, but I guess as long as my body can deal with it it's good enough as is.
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